Books: Mr. World and Miss Church Member

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On this long Midway humanity swarmed by millions. Some, forgetful of
their vows, or regardless of their honor, stepped into the lower haunts
of vice, and offered sweet flowers of purity and fragrance in exchange
for dry and filthy husks from the floor of the stall. But Miss
Church-Member, in keeping with her moral character, did not surrender
her chastity, and although she had such continual fellowship with Mr.
World she yet held the respect of many other church-members; for it
was quite fashionable to belong to the church and still walk in the
ways of the world. Satan, under a hellish guise, offered to give, even
before death, handsome rewards to any church-member who succeeds in
carrying a certain amount of the world with him on his way to Heaven,
and multitudes were trying the experiment. Some, in hope of winning
larger prizes, were verily loaded down with the worrying weights of
the world.

Looking away from this immediate vicinity of the valley, any traveler
could see, far above the surrounding scenes, the "University of the
World," whose front buildings crested the mountain elevations for many
miles. This imposing sight had awakened the admiration of Mr. World
and his friend, and had it not been for the countless attractions of
the Midway they would have hurriedly pushed their way to the schools,
immediately after the aerial car had carried them over the proud domes
of the University and landed them in the vale.

During one of the darker periods which now and then cover the whole
Midway with its shadows, the two companions caught the flashes of
variously-colored lights which emanated from every part of the elevated
structure, making the entire mountain appear as if a vast crown of
nature were decked with dazzling diamonds rare.

Miss Church-Member was excited by this unusual show of brilliancy, and
nothing on the lower level could any longer hold her attention.

"How can we best rise to that glorious summit?" she inquired with a
glow of enthusiasm.

"Ah," smiled Mr. World, "surely we need not think of walking up this
mountain. Have you forgotten the obliging attendant who advised us as
we stood on the beautiful tower? Did he not direct us to take the
Mountain Trolley?"

Without delay they sought the Midway station, entered one of the
up-to-date cars, and instead of going directly to the mountain top
they were surprised to find that they were being carried into the
bowels of the mountain.

"Whence go we dashing through the dark?" asked the terror-stricken
Miss Church-Member as she held fast to Mr. World.

But ere her escort could answer they came into an immense cavern dimly
lighted. The car stopped at a station called Rest, and a voice announced
in distinct tones: "Come, ye troubled or distressed, and ye who are
disgraced! Here linger in this underground school and learn of the
rest that is for the weary."

"What is your wish?" courteously asked Mr. World.

"I am neither in trouble nor in disgrace. Why should I tarry?"

"Only to see the lower schools before we go to the higher," was his
winning answer.

They alighted and walked forth in the dismal light. They could readily
discern strangely shaped buildings of a costly type. The air was
stifling, and everything wore a melancholy dress; yet, withal, there
was a pleasing charm about the place. Some secret touch in the doleful
music, or some bright tinge to the ominous shadows, awakened a curiosity
and a hope in the visitors that prevented them from leaving the cavern
at once.

In a half-decided mood Mr. World and Miss Church-Member meandered
through this sickly region, and had decided to leave the place when
they saw this illuminated motto over a massive arch:

TO ALL WHO ARE DISGRACED! THE SHORTEST ROUTE TO REST! (ENTRANCE.)

A genial attendant informed Mr. World that visitors were welcome, but
Miss Church-Member consented to enter only after some hesitancy. It
was indeed a dark school, with long narrow halls where one could only
see the darker side of life. Everything about the place evidenced the
dark designs of Satan. The teachers in this infamous place, by a series
of graded instructions, suggested to their pupils that suicide was the
surest and shortest road to rest. In the darker rooms of the rear I
saw, to my horror, a scene that neither Mr. World nor Miss Church-Member
was permitted to see. _It was the daily graduating class of this school
of suicide._ Each member of the class was instructed by what new method
he might rend the strand of life with his own hand, in the desperate
and sickening hope of finding rest "where their worm dieth not, and
the fire is not quenched."

I quickly turned from this revolting spectacle, and saw that Mr. World
and Miss Church-Member had returned to the station called Rest. They
boarded the first car and were soon speeding on through Dismal Tunnel.
It was a welcome moment when the car emerged from the darkness into
the light of day and took its winding course upward toward the microcosm
of schools, which, as seen from this side of the mountain, also
presented a picture of imposing magnitude.

When the car reached the University station Mr. World and his friend
alighted, and at once entered one of the carriages in waiting. They
were hurried away toward a group of immense structures known as the
"College of the World's Literature;" and yet with all the immensity
of its buildings, it was but a small part of the whole University which
lay far extended over the distant mountain elevations.

As the noiseless carriage sped along I turned toward Blackana, who,
in strange muteness still tarried at my side. "I command you, O Black
Interpreter, to tell me of the origin and management of this College
of Literature." As I spoke he turned his face in a manner that made
me tremble. His sepulchral, husky voice only added to my uneasiness.

"It originated," he explained, "in simpler form, immediately after
Satan commenced operations on the face of the earth. Parallel with the
progress of every age it has increased to its present proportions.
That which you see is but the central point of this great educational
enterprise. Its unseen branches extend into every part of the world.
The whole system is under the control of Satan. His most learned
disciples have charge of the special departments."

"And what is the purpose of this limitless scheme?" I further queried.
The whole organism of Blackana quivered with reluctance as if he would
not answer. "Refuse me not," I continued, "you well know that I have
underneath me the everlasting arms."

He was restless for a moment, angrily rolling his awful eyes. Suddenly
his attitude changed and he thus calmly answered my question: "The
purpose of all these schools is to counteract and, if possible, to
destroy the influence of the teachings of Him who is called Jesus
Christ. He was once visible in the flesh and declared that his kingdom
was everlasting. Of him it was said that he would reign till he put
all things under his feet."

Then did Blackana add with fiery emphasis: "_Neither my master nor any
of his allies will ever be put under his feet._ Satan's words ran wild
as he addressed the insulted hosts of Hell on this issue." Knowing
that Blackana had a perfect memory, I commanded that he should reproduce
Satan's address in my own dialect.

Like a flash of lightning he flung himself to the winds around me,
thereby transforming himself into the image of Satan. It appeared as
if a thousand spirits in fitful rage were dancing in mid-air.

Then his voice pealed forth the logic of Hell as Satan had spoken it
centuries before: "Have ye heard, my noble comrades, how that Heaven
flings insults into our teeth? Not satisfied that we grovel on these
remains of empire, we are further threatened with being cast miserably
under his feet. Whose feet I ask? The feet of our direst foe, whom to
worship, as he desireth, means serfdom worse than ours. Is there one
of you who will surrender his native dignity in such a fashion?"

Millions of voices rendered the air hideous with their cries, so
accurately did Blackana reproduce it all.

"I knew your sentiments," continued he, triumph ringing in his tones.
"What can we do but stand unitedly on our rustic frontier, and push
the conquest on to farther realms. Then all Heaven will learn that we
are made of grit too fine and true to lie beneath the feet of any foe."

As Blackana continued, I was struck with shuddering terror at his awful
gestures; but conscious that no harm could befall me, I continued
listening to his flaming oratory.

"We must arise and seize our opportunities. Go forth, under cover of
night, and sow the seed of our own growing; this will flourish in the
very soil that Christ would bring to highest cultivation. The germs
of our literature, rooted in human soil and growing secretly beneath
the surface, shall spread throughout the world and come to fruitage
in the light of every clime.

"We must build schools of literature, inspire the authors of the world
with our fine creed, and thereby spread our doctrines to the myriad
readers of every land and tongue. Who then, amongst our enemies, can
kill the appetite when once 'tis roused to craving for the carnal?
Give me the quill and the coming pen and press, and I can create thought
at my bidding and turn the main streams of human endeavor into
whatsoever channels I choose; and thus our river shall run full, while
other streams are drying.

"With such a work how can our cause grow less or we go groveling under
any foot? Impossible, my heroes! for we will live in glorious triumph
to the end of time. On to your tasks, listening multitudes, and he who
most successfully counteracts the so-called 'Truth' shall be a ruler
in my kingdom, and shine more brightly than the radiance of all this
region."

Thus was the speech suddenly ended, and I heard the unearthly
reverberations of the fiendish cheering by the mighty host, while the
form of Satan vanished; but from his waning shadows Blackana came forth
and in death-like silence again resumed his sullen attitude at my side.

CHAPTER XI.

SCHOOLS OF LITERATURE. FIRST AND SECOND DIVISIONS.

1. The schools described.

2. The literature of the world tainted by the teachers of darkness.

3. Satan's rules for the winning author.

The College of Literature, in three grand divisions, occupied one of
the most attractive sites of all the territory covered by the University
of the World. It was owned and controlled by Satan, and was visited
by the children of the human family from every portion of the earth.

Mr. World and Miss Church-Member came thither in a conveyance. They
stood before the massive structure which comprised the first division
of the College. Around them were the living fountains which, like
pearls in billows of green, played upon the expansive lawn. While they
strolled along the pebbled paths they were lost in admiration as they
continued looking upon the stupendous building which towered far into
the air and extended as far as the eye could reach. In breathless
silence they noted first its size, then its durability, and marveled
most at the splendid symmetry of the parts, each blending into a perfect
whole.

"Heaven must have inspired so great and beautiful a design," was the
first comment of Miss Church-Member. "Those porticos hanging in mid-air,
those domes and pillars, dreamlike, stand before me more like a hundred
fabled castles than aught real to sight or touch."

"Indeed the world affords rich and delightful privileges to all who
will but walk in her ways," said Mr. World just as they arrived at one
of the large entrances, over which these words were written:

DEPOSITORY OF THE WORLD'S LITERATURE, WELCOME TO ALL!

As Miss Church-Member viewed the weighty pillars on each side of the
entrance, she exclaimed: "This is indeed a rare opportunity. Methinks
I could revel, with delight, forever in fields of literature. Come,
Mr. World, let us at once pass through the massive doors and learn
what we can from so great a source."

Although the literary tastes of Mr. World were not strongly developed,
yet he offered no objections to her request. He seemed willing to
suffer any inconvenience for her sake so long as she traveled on the
Broad Highway. As they were entering the building I saw that many from
the church and the world were also pushing their way into the interior
that they might get a glimpse of the inner halls, and visit the ones
that were best suited to their fancies.

Miss Church-Member was surprised when she saw the unique arrangement
of the interior. There were twenty-eight magnificent halls so
constructed that they converged toward a large central office into
which I saw Mr. World and his companion enter, profoundly impressed
with the smallness of the single human mind.

After answering the stipulated questions, they registered under the
rules and regulations and were given certificates entitling them to
all the privileges which this first division of the College accorded
to visitors.

In the commodious office they learned that each of the twenty-eight
halls contained a distinctive line of literature, systematically
arranged in numerous sub-departments; and that competent librarians
superintended the literature of each hall and of each department.

Miss Church-Member ascertained also that each hall was centrally
supplied with a lecture room having an immense seating capacity, and
that learned professors, each in their turn, occupied the platform and
constantly gave lectures which were intended to describe and illustrate
the class of literature represented in their faculties.

After considerable time spent in the office, they passed through the
long and wide circular lobby, reading the beautifully emblazoned
inscriptions over each entrance door, but they could not immediately
decide into which hall they would first enter.

At length after a pleasant loitering, Mr. World led his charming comrade
into the fourth hall, over whose entrance, in plain words, this
inscription appeared:

ALL THAT WAS EVER WRITTEN CONCERNING JESUS CHRIST.

They first chose to enter a sub-department where ancient scrolls,
parchments, and papyri could be seen in tiresome variety. Miss
Church-Member scanned most carefully some of the manuscripts which had
never been published.

In other sections of the hall there were books and pamphlets of all
descriptions, each one referring to Jesus Christ in a favorable or an
unfavorable manner.

During these visitations the attendants extended unusual courtesies
to Mr. World and his faithful friend, and also to the endless procession
of visitors and students who were constantly moving through these
departments. Finally the two companions proceeded to the lecture room
of this hall and listened to an address entitled: "The Divinity of
Christ," by one of Satan's ablest advocates a professor with
ecclesiastical titles. His gestures were unique and his style altogether
persuasive.

I heard his words with great displeasure, for they taught the philosophy
of Hell, with Heaven on the face of it.

"I must congratulate myself," commenced he, "on having the privilege
of addressing so intelligent a class of people. I only hope that I may
be helpful to you in your quest of knowledge.

"The central theme of this hall is 'Jesus Christ' and I shall now
proceed to speak of his so-called 'Divinity.' I cannot question that
there is a supreme hand in the works of nature, but after careful
research I am compelled to doubt the genuineness of the Divinity which
is ascribed to Christ. True enough, his childhood was blameless, and
he possessed exceptional wisdom so that many of his countrymen believed
him to be more than human. In this manner the idea of his Divinity
originated, and this fallacy grew as the man grew.

"He was shrewd, and possessed a great amount of magnetic force which
was trained and used with remarkable skill, all of which made him pose
as a god before a credulous and unsuspecting public. The ignorance and
gross superstition of that age made a fit soil for the spread of
Christ's doctrine and the idea that he was Divine.

"When Jesus discerned that his claims were more readily accepted by
the poorer and more ignorant class of people, he lauded them in his
teachings, while the learned and more respectable classes were subjected
to his abuse and sarcasm.

"By his unusual tactics" overcame the prejudices of his enemies and,
for a long time, escaped punishment. But finally he was arrested and
convicted and, notwithstanding his so-called Divine power, he came to
an inglorious end by death on a cross. His friends, unable to prevent
his cursed death, quickly formed a plot to perpetuate his doctrines.
They carried out their plot by stealthily robbing Christ's body from
the grave and secretly burying it elsewhere, and then spreading the
news that he, of his own power, came forth from the grave. To complete
the fraud they also claimed, a little later, that he had ascended into
Heaven. What was the purpose of all this? It was to prove that Christ
was Divine and thereby to make his teachings authoritative and eternal.

"I wish to inform you that the manuscripts and parchments, in sub-
department number six of this hall, all point to the fact that Jesus
Christ was born like any other babe and that his father was Joseph.
Dishonest, indeed, is any one who would rob Joseph of this honor.
'Honor to whom honor is due.' While Christ was a great man, he never
had in him the elements of Divinity. Let millions in the world glory
in their imaginary theology, yet that is no reason why scholarly
research should be put to naught, or why it should be sacrificed. We
are living in the morning twilight of a better day when God shall be
worshiped and Jesus Christ ignored when all thought of Divinity will
center at the true focus and a man will no longer receive the glory
that belongs to God."

The vigorous applause which followed the remarks of this speaker fell
with grating horror on my ears. "Can it be possible," thought I, "that
any one can publicly teach such doctrines of Hell, and be thus
applauded? Whither are so many of the church and the world drifting
that they should give ear to such theology as it comes from the mouth
of the Devil?"

Miss Church-Member and her escort left the lecture room and visited
a few more of the sub-departments where they saw many objects of
literary interest and, with the aid of experts, examined some of the
old manuscripts dating back to the time of Christ. They left the hall
and were next attracted by the words over the entrance of Hall No. 9
appearing thus:

LITERATURE ON LIFE.

1. Vegetable Life. 2. Animal Life. 3. Mental Life. 4. Spiritual Life.

At the suggestion of Miss Church-Member they entered, and could readily
see that the attendants and lecturers of this hall were also of a very
high class. One of the speakers elaborated on the theory that life is
the result of spontaneous generation.

Another, in speaking on spiritual life, made special reference to the
fact that Jesus Christ claimed to be the "Life," and then proceeded
to refute this claim by a series of arguments which were altogether
too philosophical to be understood by the two companions.

Finding no pleasure in this metaphysical atmosphere, Mr. World conducted
his companion to the adjoining hall devoted to the "Literature of
Fiction."

Here they spent a season delightfully, perusing works of fiction and
listening to addresses, all of which advocated the views of Satan.

I heard one of the lecturers, in a discussion on "The License of Pure
Fiction" make these dangerous remarks: "The highest fiction of the
world is that in which human life is pictured in ideal colors, even
though it be done at the expense of truth.

"There can be no harm if the reader should gain a false view of life.
The very charm of such a view will act as a stimulus to a wider
experience and to a higher culture.

"In our real life, as we come in daily contact with the world, we see
and suffer enough. Therefore it cannot be harmful if fiction carries
us into strange worlds of morality or into any mythical realm. I give
you but the result of long and careful study, and I advise you to read
the wildest and most exciting forms of fiction, and thereby get the
healthful and exhilarating effect that comes from total mental
absorption. All this will tend to the development of your nature so
that you will, by contrast, better appreciate the substantial things
of life."

I saw that Mr. World and Miss Church-Member next visited the hall
devoted to the "Literature of the Passions." After they had entered,
Miss Church-Member, at first, felt embarrassed, and her sense of modesty
would not have allowed her to remain had it not been that her conscience
was eased by these conditions:

1. She saw that among the moving thousands that were present in the
massive hall many belonged to the higher classes of society.

2. She was also informed that not a few of the throng held good
membership in various branches of the visible church.

3. She readily observed that Mr. World was so much delighted that she
offered no protest, and that he seemed to take an interest in the
endless program as carried out in one department or another.

In this poisonous hall Miss Church-Member stultified herself more than
in any other place which she had ever before visited, and thereby added
one more decisive step in her downward course. She tarried longest in
one of the sub-departments where Satan's expert doctors of literature
delivered their special lectures on the writings of each author as far
as they related directly or indirectly to the passions.

These avowed experts carried on their fiendish work under the cover
of a pleasing dignity. After their crafty manner they quoted or read
the fine sentences of an author, preferably those of a sensual cast,
and then placed a premium on the passionate by describing the fine
style of the author and showing how true to nature was the language
he employed.

Thus I saw that the leaders of this department were using the choicest
and the foulest productions of the pen, gathered from the authors of
all lands, languages and ages, and Miss Church-Member, by degrees
almost imperceptible, voluntarily sacrificed her finer moral taste on
a popular and polluted altar.

To a pure heart there was an unclean cast and a withering effect
prevalent throughout all the departments of this hall, and my heart
burned as I continued observing how the agents of Satan plied their
subtle influences so as to popularize this cosmopolitan resort. So
effectually has Satan entrenched his views that some of the strong
defenders of this hall of literature are connected with the church,
and types of this same teaching have found their way into some of the
Christian schools of the world.

After this protracted visit Mr. World and Miss Church-Member left this
hall and continued their studies in hall after hall, until more than
one half of the twenty-eight halls were visited. Their next objective
point was the second grand division of this College devoted to "_The
Elements of Success in Authorship._"

My heart trembled at what my eyes saw. The great army of writers who
studied in this department came from all countries of the earth. "Can
it be true," thought I, "that so large a portion of our authors get
at least a part of their training in the schools of the Devil?"

"O Blackana!" I sighed, "how long have these things been?"

"Since the beginning of literature," was his cold and brief reply.

"Always so large a percentage of the world's authors found at that
school?"

"It has never been on the decrease," he continued. "So many have visited
these halls that it has been a veritable meeting-place of almost all
authors of all lands and all ages at some stage in their careers. Some
who came tarried long; others, not satisfied, foolishly drifted to the
schools of the King's Highway which ever carry on their work in
opposition to the University of the World."

Here also, in this second grand division, the subtlest kind of teaching
was prevalent. In one sub-division Mr. World and Miss Church-Member
read these general laws written in bold letters where all who desired
could read:

RULES FOR THE WINNING AUTHOR.

1. Give quality rather than quantity.

2. If you will not compose your best, compose nothing. The world is
heavily overstocked with inferior compositions.

3. Write nothing that will cause regret on your death-bed.

4. Do not follow in the rut. Go by some path untraveled before, over
land or sea, and tell the world of your new discoveries.

5. To be acceptable, in the highest sense, you must teach differently
than others, even though it be at the expense of what is commonly
called "truth." Novelty is the winning feature.

6. In any one composition strive first to arouse the curiosity of your
intended readers; then keep the curiosity suspended and finally give
it satisfaction in accordance with the aim in view.

7. You may be influenced by religion, but not by religious nonsense.
If your writings win, you are a teacher of millions. So, in order to
reach the public ear, you may cater to the tastes and wishes of the
majority.

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