Pierre Loti - "Madame Chrysantheme, v1"

Henri Bergson - "Laughter: An Essay on the Meaning of the Comic"

Louis Antoine Fauvelet de Bourrienne - "Memoirs of Napoleon Bonaparte, v1"

Samuel Butler - "The Note Books of Samuel Butler"

New Philadelphia Book Publisher Highlights Local Talent
Book and Publishing News from Publishers Newswire(tm)

Looking for Child to be on Cover of a New Book, 'The Model Child'
PHILADELPHIA, Pa. -- The Philadelphia literary world will celebrate the launch of two new players today, April 10th: Kay Square Press, a new publishing company focused on Philadelphia-area artists, their stories, and their art; and Kay Square's first release, 'With the Rich and Mighty: Emlen Etting of Philadelphia' (ISBN: 978-0-9815129-0-7), a critical biography by Kenneth C. Kaleta.

FlatSigned Press Alleges Don Imus Remarks Damage Legacy of President Gerald R. Ford
NEW YORK, N.Y. -- Nathan Yungerberg, an accomplished model scout and professional child photographer is launching a nation-wide casting call to find the cover model for his highly anticipated book release, 'The Model Child: A Parents Guide to the Child Modeling Industry' (ISBN: 978-0-9817018-0-6).

Books: Nature and Human Nature

T >> Thomas Chandler Haliburton >> Nature and Human Nature




Yes, yes, there are many folks in the world that talk of things they
don't understand, and there are precious few who appreciate the
meaning of that endearing term "home." He only knows it as I have said
who has lived in one, amid a large family, of which he is the solitary
surviving member. The change is like going from the house to the
sepulchre, with this difference only, one holds a living and the other
a dead body. Yes, if you have had a home you know what it is, but if
you have lost it, then and not till then do you feel its value.



CHAPTER X.

A DAY ON THE LAKE.--PART I.


When we reached the grove, I left Jessie in the canoe, and went up to
the house in search of her sister. Jackson and Peter were sitting on
the wood-pile; the latter was smoking his pipe, and the other held his
in his hand, as he was relating some story of his exploits in Spain.
When I approached, he rose up and saluted me in his usual formal
manner.

"Where is the doctor," said I, "and the rest of the party?"

"Gone to see a tame moose of his, Sir," he said, "in the pasture; but
they will be back directly."

"Well," sais I, lighting a cigar by Peter's pipe, and taking a seat
alongside of him, "go on Jackson; don't let me interrupt you."

"I was just telling Mr McDonald, Sir," said he, "of a night I once
spent on the field of battle in Spain."

"Well, go on."

"As I was a saying to him, Sir," he continued, "you could ear the
wolves among the dead and the dying a owling like so many devils. I
was afraid to go to sleep, as I didn't know when my turn might come;
so I put my carbine across my knees, and sat up as well as I could,
determined to sell my life as dearly as possible, but I was so weak
from the loss of blood, that I kept dozing and starting all the time
amost. Oh, what a tedious night that was, Sir, and how I longed for
the dawn of day, when search should be made among us for the wounded!
Just as the fog began to rise, I saw a henormous wolf, about a hundred
yards or so from me, busy tearing a body to pieces; and taking a good
steady haim at him, I fired, when he called out:

"'Blood and ounds! you cowardly furrin rascal, haven't you had your
belly-full of fighting yet, that you must be after murthering a
wounded man that way? By the powers of Moll Kelly, but you won't serve
Pat Kallahan that dirty trick again anyhow.'

"As he levelled at me, I fell back, and the ball passed right over me
and struck a wounded orse that was broke down behind, and a sittin' up
on his fore-legs like a dog. Oh, the scream of that are hanimal, Sir,
was just like a Christian's. It was hawful. I have the sound of it in
my ears now halmost. It pierced through me, and you might have eard it
that still morning over the whole field. He sprung up and then fell
over, and kicked and struggled furious for a minute or two before he
died, and every time he lashed out, you could a eard a elpless wounded
wretch a groanin' bitterly, as he battered away at him. The truth is,
Sir, what I took for a wolf that hazy morning, was poor Pat, who was
sitting up, and trying to bandage his hankle, that was shattered by a
bullet, and the way he bobbed his head up and down, as he stooped
forward, looked exactly as a wolf does when he is tearing the flesh
off a dead body.

"Well, the scream of that are orse, and the two shots the dragoon and
I exchanged, saved my life, for I saw a man and a woman making right
straight for us. It was Betty, Sir, God bless her, and Sergeant
M'Clure. The owling she sot up, when she saw me, was dreadful to ear,
Sir.

"'Betty,' said I, 'dear, for eaven's sake see if you can find a drop
of brandy in any of these poor fellows' canteens, for I am perishing
of thirst, and amost chilled to death.'

"'Oh, Tom, dear,' said she, 'I have thought of that,' and unslinging
one from her shoulders put it to my lips, and I believe I would have
drained it at a draft, but she snatched it away directly, and said:

"'Oh, do 'ee think of that dreadful stroke of the sun, Tom. It will
set you crazy if you drink any more.'

"'The stroke of the sun be anged!' said I; 'it's not in my ead this
time--it's in the other end of me.'

"'Oh dear, dear!' said Betty; 'two such marks as them, and you so
handsome too! Oh dear, dear!'

"Poor old soul! it's a way she had of trying to come round me.

"'Where is it?' said M'Clure.

"'In the calf of my leg,' said I.

"Well, he was a handy man, for he had been a hospital-sargeant, on
account of being able to read doctors' pot-hooks and inscriptions. So
he cut my boot, and stript down my stocking and looked at it. Says he,
'I must make a turn-and-quit.'

"'Oh, Rory,' said I, 'don't turn and quit your old comrade that way.'

"'Oh, Rory, dear,' said Betty, 'don't 'ee leave Tom now--don't 'ee,
that's a good soul.'

"'Pooh!' said he, 'nonsense! How your early training has been
neglected, Jackson!'

"'Rory,' said I, 'if I was well you wouldn't dare to pass that slur
upon me. I am as well-trained a soldier and as brave a man as ever you
was.'

"'Tut, tut, man,' said he, 'I meant your learning.'

"'Well,' says I, 'I can't brag much of that, and I am not sorry for
it. Many a better scholar nor you, and better-looking man too, has
been anged afore now, for all his schoolin'.'

"Says he, 'I'll soon set you up, Tom. Let me see if I can find
anything here that will do for a turn-and-quit.'

"Close to where I lay there, was a furrin officer who had his head
nearly amputated with a sabre cut. Well, he took a beautiful gold
repeater out of his fob, and a great roll of dubloons out of one
pocket, and a little case of diamond rings out of the other.

"'The thieving Italian rascal?' said he, 'he has robbed a jeweller's
shop before he left the town,' and he gave the body a kick and passed
on. Well, close to him was an English officer.

"'Ah,' said he, 'here is something useful,' and he undid his sash, and
then feeling in his breast pocket, he hauled out a tin tobacco-case,
and opening of it, says he:

"'Tom, here's a real god-send for you. This and the sash I will give
you as a keepsake. They are mine by the fortune of war, but I will
bestow them on you.'"

"Oigh! oigh!" said Peter, "she was no shentleman."

"He warn't then, Sir," said Tom, not understanding him, "for he was
only a sargeant like me at that time, but he is now, for he is an
officer."

"No, no," said Peter, "the king can make an offisher, but she can't
make a shentleman. She took the oyster hern ainsel, and gave you the
shell."

"Well," continued Jackson, "he took the sash, and tied it round my
leg, and then took a bayonet off a corpse, and with that twisted it
round and round so tight it urt more nor the wound, and then he
secured the bayonet so that it wouldn't slip. There was a furrin
trooper's orse not far off that had lost his rider, and had got his
rein hunder his foreleg, so Betty caught him and brought him to where
I was a sitting. By the haid of another pull at the canteen, which put
new life into me, and by their hassistance, I was got on the saddle,
and he and Betty steadied me on the hanimal, and led me off. I no
sooner got on the orse than Betty fell to a crying and a scolding
again like anything.

"'What hails you now,' says I, 'Betty? You are like your own town of
Plymouth--it's showery weather with you all the year round amost.
What's the matter now?'

"'Oh, Tom, Tom,' said she, 'you will break my eart yet--I know you
will.'

"'Why what have I done?' says I. 'I couldn't help getting that little
scratch on the leg.'

"'Oh, it tante that,' she said; 'it's that orrid stroke of the sun.
There's your poor ead huncovered again. Where is your elmet?'

"'Oh, bother,' sais I, 'ow do I know? Somewhere on the ground, I
suppose.'

"Well, back she ran as ard as she could, but M'Clure wouldn't wait a
moment for her and went on, and as she couldn't find mine, she undid
the furriner's and brought that, and to pacify her I had to put it on
and wear it. It was a good day for M'Clure, and I was glad of it, for
he was a great scholar and the best friend I ever had. He sold the
orse for twenty pounds afterwards."

"She don't want to say nothin' disrespectable," said Peter, "against
her friend, but she was no shentleman for all tat."

"He is now," said Tom again, with an air of triumph. "He is an
hofficer, and dines at the mess. I don't suppose he'd be seen with me
now, for it's agen the rules of the service, but he is the best friend
I have in the world."

"She don't know nothin' about ta mess herself," said Peter, "but she
supposes she eats meat and drinks wine every tay, which was more tan
she did as a poy. But she'd rather live on oatmeal and drink whiskey,
and be a poor shentlemen, than be an officher like M'Clure, and tine
with the Queen, Cot bless her."

"And the old pipe, then, was all you got for your share, was it?" says
I.

"No, Sir," said Tom, "it warn't. One day, when I was nearly well,
Betty came to me--

"'Oh, Tom,' said she, 'I have such good news for you.'

"'What is it?' sais I, 'are we going to have another general
engagement?'

"'Oh, dear, I hope not,' she said. 'You have had enough of fighting
for one while, and you are always so misfortunate.'

"'Well, what is it?' sais I.

"'Will you promise me not to tell?'

"'Yes,' said I, 'I will.'

"'That's just what you said the first time I kissed you. Do get out,'
she replied, 'and you promise not to lisp a word of it to Rory
M'Clure? or he'll claim it, as he did that orse, and, Tom, I caught
that orse, and he was mine. It was a orrid, nasty, dirty, mean trick
that.'

"'Betty,' said I, 'I won't ear a word hagin him: he is the best friend
I ever had, but I won't tell him, if you wish it.'

"'Well,' said Betty, and she bust out crying for joy, for she can cry
at nothing, amost. 'Look, Tom, here's twenty Napoleons, I found them
quilted in that officer's elmet.' So after all, I got out of that
scrape pretty well, didn't I, Sir?"

"Indeed she did," said Peter, "but if she had seen as much of wolves
as Peter McDonald has she wouldn't have been much frightened by them.
This is the way to scare a whole pack of them;" and stooping down and
opening a sack, he took out the bagpipes, and struck up a favourite
Highland air. If it was calculated to alarm the animals of the forest,
it at all events served now to recall the party, who soon made their
appearance from the moose-yard. "Tat," said Peter, "will make 'em
scamper like the tevil. It has saved her life several times."

"So I should think," said I. (For of all the awful instruments that
ever was heard that is the worst. Pigs in a bag ain't the smallest
part of a circumstance to it, for the way it squeals is a caution to
cats.) When the devil was a carpenter, he cut his foot so bad with an
adze, he threw it down, and gave up the trade in disgust. And now that
Highlanders have given up the trade of barbarism, and become the
noblest fellows in Europe, they should follow the devil's example, and
throw away the bagpipes for ever.

"I have never seen M'Clure," said Jackson, addressing me, "but once
since he disputed with the countryman about the plural of moose in the
country-market. I met him in the street one day, and says I,

"'How are you, Rory? Suppose we take a bit of a walk.'

"Well, he held up his ead stiff and straight, and didn't speak for a
minute or two; at last he said:

"'How do you do, Sargeant Jackson?'

"'Why, Rory,' sais I, 'what hails you to hact that way? What's the
matter with you now, to treat an old comrade in that manner?'

"He stared ard at me in the face hagain, without giving any
explanation. At last he said, 'Sargeant Jackson,' and then he stopped
again. 'If anybody speers at you where Ensign Roderich M'Clure is to
be found, say on the second flat of the officers' quarters at the
North Barracks,' and he walked on and left me. He had got his
commission."

"She had a Highland name," said Peter, "and tat is all, but she was
only a lowland Glaskow peast. Ta teivil tack a' such friends a tat."

"Doctor," said I, "Jessie and I have discovered the canoe, and had a
glorious row of it. I see you have a new skiff there; suppose we all
finish the morning on the lake. We have been up to the waterfall, and
if it is agreeable to you, Jessie proposes to dine at the intervale
instead of the house."

"Just the thing," said the doctor, "but you understand these matters
better than I do, so just give what instructions you think proper."

Jackson and Betty were accordingly directed to pack up what was
needful, and hold themselves in readiness to be embarked on our return
from the excursion on the water. Jessie, her sister, and myself took
the canoe; the doctor and Cutler the boat, and Peter was placed at the
stern to awaken the sleeping echoes of the lake with his pipes. The
doctor seeing me provided with a short gun, ran hastily back to the
house for his bow and arrows, and thus equipped and grouped, we
proceeded up the lake, the canoe taking the lead. Peter struck up a
tune on his pipes. The great expanse of water, and the large open area
where they were played, as well as the novelty of the scene, almost
made me think that it was not such bad music after all as I had
considered it.

After we had proceeded a short distance, Jessie proposed a race
between the canoe and the boat. I tried to dissuade her from it, on
account of the fatigue she had already undergone, and the excitement
she had manifested at the waterfall, but she declared herself
perfectly well, and able for the contest. The odds were against the
girls; for the captain and the doctor were both experienced hands, and
powerful, athletic man, and their boat was a flat-bottomed skiff, and
drew but little water. Added to which, the young women had been long
out of practice, and their hands and muscles were unprepared by
exercise. I yielded at last, on condition that the race should
terminate at a large rock that rose out of the lake at about a mile
from us. I named this distance, not merely because I wished to limit
the extent of their exertion, but because I knew that if they had the
lead that far, they would be unable to sustain it beyond that, and
that they would be beaten by the main strength of the rowers. We
accordingly slackened our speed till the boat came up alongside of us.
The challenge was given and accepted, and the terminus pointed out,
and when the signal was made, away we went with great speed.

For more than two-thirds of the distance we were bow and bow,
sometimes one and sometimes the other being ahead, but on no occasion
did the distance exceed a yard or so. When we had but the remaining
third to accomplish, I cautioned the girls that the rowers would now
probably put out all their strength, and take them by surprise, and
therefore advised them to be on their guard. They said a few words to
each other in their native language, laughed, and at once prepared for
the crisis, by readjusting their seats and foothold, and then the
eldest said, with a look of animation, that made her surpassingly
beautiful, "Now," and away we went like iled lightning, leaving the
boat behind at a rate that was perfectly incredible.

They had evidently been playing with them at first, and doing no more
than to ascertain their speed and power of propulsion, and had all
along intended to reserve themselves for this triumph at the last. As
soon as we reached the winning point, I rose up to give the cheer of
victory, but just at that moment, they suddenly backed water with
their paddles, and in turning towards the boat, the toe of my boot
caught in one of the light ribs of the canoe, which had been loosened
by the heat of the sun, and I instantly saw that a fall was
unavoidable. To put a hand on the side of the little bark would
inevitably overset it, and precipitate the girls into the lake. I had
but one resource left therefore, and that was to arch over the
gunwale, and lift my feet clear of it, while I dove into the water. It
was the work of an instant, and in another I had again reached the
canoe. Begging Jessie to move forward, so as to counterbalance my
weight, I rose over the stern (if a craft can be said to have one,
where both ends are alike, and it can be propelled either way), and
then took the seat that had been occupied by her.

"Now, Jane," said I, "I must return to the house, and get a dry suit
of the doctor's clothes; let us see what we can do."

The doctor told me Betty knew more about his wardrobe than he did
himself, and would furnish me with what I required; and in the mean
time, that they would lay upon their oars till we returned.

"Are you ready, Miss," said I, "I want you to do your prettiest now,
and put your best foot out, because I wish them to see that I am not
the awkward critter in a canoe they think I am."

The fact is, Squire, that neither the doctor nor Cutler knew, that to
avoid falling under the circumstances I was placed in, and to escape
without capsizing the canoe, was a feat that no man, but one familiar
with the management of those fragile barks, and a good swimmer, too,
can perform. Peter was aware of it, and appreciated it; but the other
two seemed disposed to cut their jokes upon me; and them that do that,
generally find, in the long run, I am upsides with them, that's a
fact. A cat and a Yankee always come on their feet, pitch them up in
the air as high and as often as you please.

"Now for it," said I, and away we went at a 2.30 pace, as we say of
our trotting horses. Cutler and the doctor cheered us as we went; and
Peter, as the latter told me afterwards, said: "A man who can dwell
like an otter, on both land and sea, has two lives." I indorse that
saw, he made it himself; it's genuine, and it was like a trapper's
maxim. Warn't it?

As soon as I landed I cut off for the house, and in no time rigged up
in a dry suit of our host's, and joined the party, afore they knew
where they were. I put on a face as like the doctor's as two clocks of
mine are to each other. I didn't do it to make fun of him, but out of
him. Oh, they roared again, and the doctor joined in it as heartily as
any of them, though he didn't understand the joke. But Peter didn't
seem to like it. He had lived so much among the Indians, and was so
accustomed to their way of biling things down to an essence, that he
spoke in proverbs, or wise saws. Says he to me, with a shake of his
head, "a mocking bird has no voice of its own." It warn't a bad
sayin', was it? I wish I had noted more of them, for though I like
'em, I am so yarney, I can't make them as pithey as he did. I can't
talk short-hand, and I must say I like condensation. Now, brevity is
the only use to individuals there is in telegraphs. There is very
little good news in the world for any of us; and bad news comes fast
enough. I hate them myself. The only good there is in 'em, is to make
people write short; for if you have to pay for every word you use, you
won't be extravagant in 'em, there is no mistake.

Telegraphs ruin intellect; they reduce a wise man to the level of a
fool; and fifty years hence there won't be a sensible trader left. For
national purposes they are very well, and government ought to have
kept them to themselves, for those objects; but they play the devil
with merchants. There is no room for the exercise of judgment. It's a
dead certainty now. Flour is eight dollars in England; well, every one
knows that, and the price varies, and every one knows that also, by
telegraph. Before that, a judgmatical trader took his cigar in his
mouth, sat down, and calculated. Crops short, Russian war, blockade,
and so on. Capital will run up prices, till news of new harvest are
known; and then they will come down by the run. He deliberates,
reasons, and decides. Now, the last Liverpool paper gives the price
current. It advises all, and governs all. Any blockhead can be a
merchant now. Formerly, they poked sapey-headed goneys into
Parliament, to play dummey; or into the army and navy, the church, and
the colonial office. But they kept clever fellows for law, special
commissioners, the stage, the "Times," the "Chronicle," and such like
able papers, and commerce; and men of middlin' talents were resarved
for doctors, solicitors, Gretna Green, and so on.

But the misfortinate prince-merchants now will have to go to the
bottom of the list with tradesmen and retailers. They can't have an
opinion of their own, the telegraph will give it. The latest
quotations, as they call them, come to them, they know that iron is
firm, and timber giving way, that lead is dull and heavy, and coal
gone to blases, while the stocks are rising and vessels sinking, all
the rest they won't trouble their heads about. The man who trades with
Cuba, won't care about Sinope, and it's too much trouble to look for
it on the map. While the Black Sea man won't care about Toronto, or
whether it is in Nova Scotia or Vermont, in Canada or California.
There won't soon be a merchant that understands geography.

But what is wuss, half the time the news is false, and if it hadn't
been for that, old Hemp and Iron would have made a fortune. And if it
is true, it's worse still, for he would have acted on his own judgment
if he hadn't heard it, and circumstances would have altered as they
always are doing every day, and he would have made a rael hit. Oh, I
hate them. And besides this, they have spoiled them by swearing the
operators. An oath gives them fellows such an itch to blart, that
though they don't inform, they let the cat out of the bag, and that is
as bad. Tell you what, I wouldn't like to confess by telegraph. If I
am courting a gall and she sais all right, why then my fun is spoiled,
for when a thing is settled, all excitement is gone, and if I am
refused, the longer I am in ignorance the better. It is wiser to wait,
as the Frenchman did at Clare, who sat up three nights to see how the
letters passed over the wires. Well, if I am married, I have to report
progress, and logbooks are always made up before or afterwards. It's
apt to injure my veracity. In short, you know what I mean, and I
needn't follow it out, for a nod is as good as a wink to a blind
horse.

But the Lord have mercy on merchants, any fool will get along as well
as the best of them now. Dear me, I recollect a man they poked fun at
once at Salem. They induced him by way of a rise, to ship a cargo of
blankets and warming-pans to the West Indies. Well, he did so, and
made a good speck, for the pans were bought for dippers, and the
blankets for strainers. Yes, telegraphs will reduce merchants to the
level of that fellow Isaac Oxter.

But I must look for the trail again, or I shall forget my story.

I think I left off where I got back in the canoe, and joined the party
in the boat. Well, we then proceeded like the off and near ox, pulling
from rather than to each other, but still keeping neck and neck as it
were. In this manner we proceeded to the head of the lake, and then as
we returned steered for a small wooded island in the centre, where I
proposed to land and rest awhile, for this beautiful sheet of water
was of considerable extent. As we approached it, Peter again struck up
his pipes, and shortly afterwards a noble male moose, as much
terrified by the noise as McDonald said Canada wolves were, broke
cover, and swam for the main land. The moose frequently select such
places to secure their young from the bears, who are their greatest
enemies, and find an easy prey in their helpless calves. It is not
improbable that the female still remained, and that this act of
gallantry in the buck was intended to withdraw attention from her, and
thus save her from pursuit. I had no bullets with me, and my gun was
only loaded with duck-shot. To discharge that at him, would have been
a wanton act of cruelty, as at most it could only inflict upon him
painful wounds. In this emergency, Jessie pointed to a stout half-inch
rope that was coiled up in the bottom of the canoe, and I immediately
exchanged places with her, and commenced making a lasso, while she
plied the paddle.

We gained rapidly upon him, and I was preparing to throw the fatal
noose over his horns, when to my astonishment he raised his neck and a
portion of his fore-legs out of the water, as if he was landing. We
were then a considerable distance from the shore, but it appeared, as
I afterwards learned from the doctor, that a long low neck of land
made out there into the lake, that was only submerged in the spring
and autumn, but in summer was covered with wild grass, upon which deer
fed with avidity, as an agreeable change from browsing. The instinct
of the animal induced him to make for this shallow, from which he
could bound away at full speed (trot) into the cover.

All hope of the chase was now over, and I was about abandoning it in
despair, when an arrow whizzed by us, and in an instant he sprang to
his feet, and exposed his huge form to view. He was a remarkable fine
specimen of his kind, for they are the largest as well as the ugliest
of the deer tribe. For an instant he paused, shook himself violently,
and holding down his head, put up his fore-leg to break off that,
which evidently maddened him with pain. He then stood up erect, with
his head high in the air, and laid his horns back on his neck, and,
giving a snort of terror, prepared to save his life by flight.