Books: Heart Histories and Life Pictures
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T. S. Arthur >> Heart Histories and Life Pictures
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16 INTRODUCTION.
So interested are we all in our every-day pursuits; so given up,
body and mind, to the attainment of our own ends; so absorbed by our
own hopes, joys, fears and disappointments, that we think rarely, if
at all, of the heart-histories of others--of the bright and sombre
life-pictures their eyes may look upon. And yet, every heart has its
history: how sad and painful many of these histories are, let the
dreamy eyes, the sober faces, the subdued, often mournful tones, of
many that daily cross our paths, testify. An occasional remembrance
of these things will cause a more kindly feeling towards others; and
this will do us good, in withdrawing our minds from too exclusive
thoughts of self.
Whatever tends to awaken our sympathies towards others, to interest
us in humanity, is, therefore, an individual benefit as well as a
common good. In all that we have written, we have endeavored to
create this sympathy and awaken this interest; and so direct has
ever been our purpose, that we have given less thought to those
elegancies of style on which a literary reputation is often founded,
than to the truthfulness of our many life-pictures. In the
preparation of this volume, the same end has been kept in view, and
its chief merit will be found, we trust, in its power to do good.
T. S. A.
PHILADELPHIA, December, 1852.
CONTENTS.
THE BOOK OF MEMORY,
THE BRILLIANT AND THE COMMON-PLACE,
JENNY LAWSON,
SHADOWS,
THE THANKLESS OFFICE,
GOING TO THE SPRINGS,
THE WIFE,
NOT GREAT BUT HAPPY,
THE MARRIED SISTERS,
GOOD-HEARTED PEOPLE,
SLOW AND SURE,
THE SCHOOL GIRL,
UNREDEEMED PLEDGES,
DON'T MENTION IT,
THE HEIRESS,
THE BOOK OF MEMORY.
CHAPTER I.
"THERE is a book of record in your mind, Edwin," said an old man to
his young friend, "a book of record, in which every act of your life
is noted down. Each morning a blank page is turned, on which the
day's history is written in lines that cannot be effaced. This book
of record is your memory; and, according to what it bears, will your
future life be happy or miserable. An act done, is done forever;
for, the time in which it is done, in passing, passes to return no
more. The history is written and sealed up. Nothing can ever blot it
out. You may repent of evil, and put away the purpose of evil from
your heart; but you cannot, by any repentance, bring back the time
that is gone, nor alter the writing on the page of memory. Ah! my
young friend, if I could only erase some pages in the book of my
memory, that almost daily open themselves before the eyes of my
mind, how thankful I would be! But this I cannot do. There are acts
of my life for which repentance only avails as a process of
purification and preparation for a better state in the future; it in
no way repairs wrong done to others. Keep the pages of your memory
free from blots, Edwin. Guard the hand writing there as you value
your best and highest interests!"
Edwin Florence listened, but only half comprehended what was said by
his aged friend. An hour afterwards he was sitting by the side of a
maiden, her hand in his, and her eyes looking tenderly upon his
face. She was not beautiful in the sense that the world regards
beauty. Yet, no one could be with her an hour without perceiving the
higher and truer beauty of a pure and lovely spirit. It was this
real beauty of character which had attracted Edwin Florence; and the
young girl's heart had gone forth to meet the tender of affection
with an impulse of gladness.
"You love me, Edith?" said Edwin, in a low voice, as he bent nearer,
and touched her pure forehead with his lips.
"As my life," replied the maiden, and her eyes were full of love as
she spoke.
Again the young man kissed her.
In low voices, leaning towards each other until the breath of each
was warm on the other's cheek, they sat conversing for a long time.
Then they separated; and both were happy. How sweet were the
maiden's dreams that night, for, in every picture that wandering
fancy drew, was the image of her lover!
Daily thus they met for a long time. Then there was a change in
Edwin Florence. His visits were less frequent, and when he met the
young girl, whose very life was bound up in his, his manner had in
it a reserve that chilled her heart as if an icy hand had been laid
upon it. She asked for no explanation of the change; but, as he grew
colder, she shrunk more and more into herself, like a flower folding
its withering leaves when touched by autumn's frosty fingers.
One day he called on Edith. He was not as cold as he had been, but
he was, from some cause, evidently embarrassed.
"Edith," said he, taking her hand--it was weeks since he had touched
her hand except in meeting and parting--"I need not say how highly I
regard you. How tenderly I love you, even as I could love a pure and
gentle sister. But--"
He paused, for he saw that Edith's face had become very pale; and
that she rather gasped for air than breathed.
"Are you sick?" he asked, in a voice of anxiety.
Edith was recovering herself.
"No," she replied, faintly.
A deep silence, lasting for the space of nearly half a minute,
followed. By this time the maiden, through a forced effort, had
regained the command of her feelings. Perceiving this, Edwin
resumed--
"As I said, Edith, I love you as I could love a pure and gentle
sister. Will you accept this love? Will you be to me a friend--a
sister?"
Again there passed upon the countenance of Edith a deadly palor;
while her lips quivered, and her eyes had a strange expression. This
soon passed away, and again something of its former repose was in
her face. At the first few words of Florence, Edith withdrew the
hand he had taken. He now sought it again, but she avoided the
contact.
"You do not answer me, Edith," said the young man.
"Do you wish an answer?" This was uttered in a scarcely audible
voice.
"I do, Edith," was the earnest reply. "Let there be no separation
between us. You are to me what you have ever been, a dearly prized
friend. I never meet you that my heart does not know an impulse for
good--I never think of you but--"
"Let us be as strangers!" said Edith, rising abruptly. And turning
away, she fled from the room.
Slowly did the young man leave the apartment in which they were
sitting, and without seeing any member of the family, departed from
the house. There was a record on his memory that time would have no
power to efface. It was engraved too deeply for the dust of years to
obliterate. As he went, musing away, the pale face of Edith was
before him; and the anguish of her voice, as she said, "Let us be as
strangers," was in his ears. He tried not to see the one, nor hear
the other. But that was impossible. They had impressed themselves
into the very substance of his mind.
Edwin Florence had an engagement for that very evening. It was with
one of the most brilliant, beautiful, and fascinating women he had
ever met. A few months before, she had crossed his path, and from
that time he was changed towards Edith. Her name was Catharine
Linmore. The earnest attentions of Florence pleased her, and as she
let the pleasure she felt be seen, she was not long in winning his
heart entirely from his first love. In this, she was innocent; for
she knew nothing of the former state of his affections towards
Edith.
After parting with Edith, Edwin had no heart to fulfill his
engagement with Miss Linmore. He could think of nothing but the
maiden he had so cruelly deserted; and more than half repented of
what he had done. When the hour for the appointment came, his mind
struggled awhile in the effort to obtain a consent to go, and then
decided against meeting, at least on that occasion, the woman whose
charms had led him to do so great a wrong to a loving and confiding
heart. No excuse but that of indisposition could be made, under the
circumstances; and, attempting to screen himself, in his own
estimation, from falsehood, he assumed, in his own thoughts, a
mental indisposition, while, in the billet he dispatched, he gave
the idea of bodily indisposition. The night that followed was,
perhaps, the most unhappy one the young man had ever spent. Days
passed, and he heard nothing from Edith. He could not call to see
her, for she had interdicted that. Henceforth they must be as
strangers. The effect produced by his words had been far more
painful than was anticipated; and he felt troubled when he thought
about what might be their ultimate effects.
On the fifth day, as the young man was walking with Catharine
Linmore, he came suddenly face to face with Edith. There was a
change in her that startled him. She looked at him, in passing, but
gave no signs of recognition.
"Wasn't that Miss Walter?" inquired the companion of Edwin, in a
tone of surprise.
"Yes," replied Florence.
"What's the matter with her? Has she been sick? How dreadful she
looks!"
"I never saw her look so bad," remarked the young man. As they
walked along, Miss Linmore kept alluding to Edith, whose changed
appearance had excited her sympathies.
"I've met her only a few times," said she, "but I have seen enough
of her to give me a most exalted opinion of her character. Some one
called her very plain; but I have not thought so. There is something
so good about her, that you cannot be with her long without
perceiving a real beauty in the play of her countenance."
"No one can know her well, without loving her for the goodness of
which you have just spoken," said Edwin.
"You are intimate with her?"
"Yes. She has been long to me as a sister." There was a roughness in
the voice of Florence as he said this.
"She passed without recognizing you," said Miss Linmore.
"So I observed."
"And yet I noticed that she looked you in the face, though with a
cold, stony, absent look. It is strange! What can have happened to
her?"
"I have observed a change in her for some time past," Florence
ventured to say; "but nothing like this. There is something wrong."
When the time to part, with his companion came, Edwin Florence felt
a sense of relief. Weeks now passed without his seeing or hearing
any thing from Edith. During the time he met Miss Linmore
frequently; and encouraged to approach, he at length ventured to
speak to her of what was in his heart. The young lady heard with
pleasure, and, though she did not accept the offered hand, by no
means repulsed the ardent suitor. She had not thought of marriage,
she said, and asked a short time for reflection.
Edwin saw enough in her manner to satisfy him that the result would
be in his favor. This would have made him supremely happy, could he
have blotted out all recollection of Edith and his conduct towards
her. But, that was impossible. Her form and face, as he had last
seen them, were almost constantly before his eyes. As he walked the
streets, he feared lest he should meet her; and never felt pleasant
in any company until certain that she was not there.
A few days after Mr. Florence had made an offer of his hand to Miss
Linmore, and at a time when she was about making a favorable
decision, that young lady happened to hear some allusion made to
Edith Walter, in a tone that attracted her attention. She
immediately asked some questions in regard to her, when one of the
persons conversing said--
"Why, don't you know about Edith?"
"I know that there is a great change in her. But the reason of it I
have not heard."
"Indeed! I thought it was pretty well known that her affections had
been trifled with."
"Who could trifle with the affections of so sweet, so good a girl,"
said Miss Linmore, indignantly. "The man who could turn from her,
has no true appreciation of what is really excellent and exalted in
woman's character. I have seen her only a few times; but, often
enough to make me estimate her as one among the loveliest of our
sex."
"Edwin Florence is the man," was replied. "He won her heart, and
then turned from her; leaving the waters of affection that had
flowed at his touch to lose themselves in the sands at his feet.
There must be something base in the heart of a man who could trifle
thus with such a woman."
It required a strong effort on the part of Miss Linmore to conceal
the instant turbulence of feeling that succeeded so unexpected a
declaration. But she had, naturally, great self-control, and this
came to her aid.
"Edwin Florence!" said she, after a brief silence, speaking in a
tone of surprise.
"Yes, he is the man. Ah, me! What a ruin has been wrought! I never
saw such a change in any one as Edith exhibits. The very inspiration
of her life is gone. The love she bore towards Florence seems to
have been almost the mainspring of her existence; for in touching
that the whole circle of motion has grown feeble, and will, I fear,
soon cease for ever."
"Dreadful! The falsehood of her lover has broken her heart."
"I fear that it is even so."
"Is she ill? I have not seen her for a long time," said Miss
Linmore.
"Not ill, as one sick of a bodily disease; but drooping about as one
whose spirits are broken, and who finds no sustaining arm to lean
upon. When you meet her, she strives to be cheerful, and appear into
rested. But the effort deceives no one."
"Why did Mr. Florence act towards her as he has done?" asked Miss
Linmore.
"A handsomer face and more brilliant exterior were the attractions,
I am told."
The young lady asked no more questions. Those who observed her
closely, saw the warm tints that made beautiful her cheeks grow
fainter and fainter, until they had almost entirely faded. Soon
after, she retired from the company.
In the ardor of his pursuit of a new object of affection, Edwin
Florence scarcely thought of the old one. The image of Edith was
hidden by the interposing form of Miss Linmore. The suspense
occasioned by a wish for time to consider the offer he had made,
grew more and more painful the longer it was continued. On the
possession of the lovely girl as his wife, depended, so he felt, his
future happiness. Were she to decline his offer he would be
wretched. In this state of mind, he called one day upon Miss
Linmore, hoping and fearing, yet resolved to know his fate. The
moment he entered her presence he observed a change. She did not
smile; and there was something chilling in the steady glance of her
large dark eyes.
"Have I offended you?" he asked, as she declined taking his offered
hand.
"Yes," was the firm reply, while the young lady assumed a dignified
air.
"In what?" asked Florence.
"In proving false to her in whose ears you first breathed words of
affection."
The young man started as if stung by a serpent.
"The man," resumed Miss Linmore, "who has been false to Edith
Walter, never can be true to me. I wouldn't have the affection that
could turn from one like her. I hold it to be light as the
thistle-down. Go! heal the heart you have almost broken, if,
perchance, it be not yet too late. As for me, think of me as if we
had all our lives been strangers--such, henceforth, we must ever
remain."
And saying this, Catharine Linmore turned from the rebuked and
astonished young man, and left the room. He immediately retired.
CHAPTER II.
EVENING, with its passionless influences, was stealing softly down,
and leaving on all things its hues of quiet and repose. The heart of
nature was beating with calm and even pulses. Not so the heart of
Edwin Florence. It had a wilder throb; and the face of nature was
not reflected in the mirror of his feelings, He was alone in his
room, where he had been during the few hours that had elapsed since
his interview with Miss Linmore. In those few hours, Memory had
turned over many leaves of the Book of his Life. He would fain have
averted his eyes from the pages, but he could not. The record was
before him, and he had read it. And, as he read, the eyes of Edith
looked into his own; at first they were loving and tender, as of
old; and then. they were full of tears. Her hand lay, now,
confidingly in his; and now it was slowly withdrawn. She sat by his
side, and leaned upon him--his lips were upon her lips; his cheek
touching her cheek; their breaths were mingling. Another moment and
he had turned from her coldly, and she was drooping towards the
earth like a tender vine bereft of the support to which it had held
by its clinging tendrils. Ah! If he could only have shut out these
images! If he could have erased the record so that Memory could not
read it! How eagerly would he have drunk of Lethe's waters, could he
have found the fabled stream!
More than all this. The rebuke of Miss Linmore almost maddened him.
In turning from Edith, he had let his heart go out towards the other
with a passionate devotion. Pride in her beauty and brilliant
accomplishments had filled his regard with a selfishness that could
ill bear the shock of a sudden repulse. Sleepless was the night that
followed; and when the morning, long looked for, broke at last, it
brought no light for his darkened spirit. Yet he had grown calmer,
and a gentle feeling pervaded his bosom. Thrown off by Miss Linmore,
his thoughts now turned by a natural impulse, as the needle, long
held by opposing attraction, turns to its polar point, again towards
Edith Walter. As he thought of her longer and longer, tenderer
emotions began to tremble in his heart. The beauty of her character
was again seen; and his better nature bowed before it once more in a
genuine worship.
"How have I been infatuated! What syren spell has been on me!" Such
were the words that fell from his lips, marking the change in his
feelings.
Days went by, and still the change went on, until the old affection
had come back; the old tender, true affection. But, he had turned
from its object--basely turned away. A more glaring light had
dazzled his eyes so that he could see, for a time, no beauty, no
attraction, in his first love. Could he turn to her again? Would she
receive him? Would she let him dip healing leaves in the waters he
had dashed with bitterness? His heart trembled as he asked these
questions, for there was no confident answer.
At last Edwin Florence resolved that he would see Edith once more,
and seek to repair the wrong done both to her and to himself. It was
three months after his rejection by Miss Linmore when he came to
this resolution. And then, some weeks elapsed before he could force
himself to act upon it. In all that time he had not met the young
girl, nor had he once heard of her. To the house of her aunt, where
she resided, Florence took his way one evening in early autumn, his
heart disturbed by many conflicting emotions. His love for Edith had
come back in full force; and his spirit was longing for the old
communion.
"Can I see Miss Walter!" he asked, on arriving at her place of
residence.
"Walk in," returned the servant who had answered his summons.
Florence entered the little parlor where he had spent so many
never-to-be-forgotten hours with Edith--hours unspeakably happy in
passing, but, in remembrance, burdened with pain--and looking around
on each familiar object with strange emotions. Soon a light step was
heard descending the stairs, and moving along the passage. The door
opened, and Edith--no, her aunt--entered. The young man had risen in
the breathlessness of expectation.
"Mr. Florence," said the aunt, coldly. He extended his hand; but she
did not take it.
"How is Edith?" was half stammered.
"She is sinking rapidly," replied the aunt.
Edwin staggered back into a chair.
"Is she ill?" he inquired, with a quivering lip.
"Ill! She is dying!" There was something of indignation in the way
this was said.
"Dying!" The young man clasped his hands together with a gesture of
despair.
"How long has she been sick?" he next ventured to ask.
"For months she has been dying daily," said the aunt. There was a
meaning in her tones that the young man fully comprehended. He had
not dreamed of this.
"Can I see her?"
The aunt shook her head, as she answered,
"Let her spirit depart in peace."
"I will not disturb, but calm her spirit," said the young man,
earnestly. "Oh, let me see her, that I may call her back to life!"
"It is too late," replied the aunt. "The oil is exhausted, and light
is just departing."
Edwin started to his feet, exclaiming passionately--"Let me see her!
Let me see her!"
"To see her thus, would be to blow the breath that would extinguish
the flickering light," said the aunt. "Go home, young man! It is too
late! Do not seek to agitate the waters long troubled by your hand,
but now subsiding into calmness. Let her spirit depart in peace."
Florence sunk again into his chair, and, hiding his face with his
hands, sat for some moments in a state of a mental paralysis.
In the chamber above lay the pale, almost pulseless form of Edith. A
young girl, who had been as her sister for many years, sat holding
her thin white hand. The face of the invalid was turned to the wall.
Her eyes were closed; and she breathed so quietly that the motions
of respiration could hardly be seen. Nearly ten minutes had elapsed
from the time a servant whispered to the aunt that there was some
one in the parlor, when Edith turned, and said to her companion, in
a low, calm voice--
"Mr. Florence has come."
The girl started, and a flush of surprise went over her face.
"He is in the parlor now. Won't you ask him to come up?" added the
dying maiden, still speaking with the utmost composure.
Her friend stood surprised and hesitating for some moments, and then
turning away, glided from the chamber. She found the aunt and Mr.
Florence in the passage below, the latter pleading with the former
for the privilege of seeing Edith, which was resolutely denied.
"Edith wants to see Mr. Florence," said the girl, as she joined
them.
"Who told her that he was here?" quickly asked the aunt.
"No one. I did not know it myself."
"Her heart told her that I was here," exclaimed Mr. Florence--and,
as he spoke, he glided past the aunt, and, with hurried steps,
ascended to the chamber where the dying one lay. The eyes of Edith
were turned towards the door as he entered; but no sign of emotion
passed over her countenance. Overcome by his feelings, at the sight
of the shadowy remnant of one so loved and so wronged, the young man
sunk into a chair by her side, as nerveless as a child; and, as his
lips were pressed upon her lips and cheeks, her face was wet with
his tears.
Coming in quickly after, the aunt took firmly hold of his arm and
sought to draw him away, but, in a steady voice, the invalid said--
"No--no. I was waiting for him. I have expected him for days. I knew
he would come; and he is here now."
All was silence for many minutes; and during this time Edwin
Florence sat with his face covered, struggling to command his
feelings. At a motion from the dying girl, the aunt and friend
retired, and she was alone with the lover who had been false to his
vows. As the door closed behind them, Edwin looked up. He had grown
calm. With a voice of inexpressible tenderness, he said--
"Live for me, Edith."
"Not here," was answered. "The silver chord will soon be loosened
and the golden bowl broken."
"Oh, say not that! Let me call you back to life. Turn to me again as
I have turned to you with my whole heart. The world is still
beautiful; and in it we will be happy together."
"No, Edwin," replied the dying maiden. "The history of my days here
is written, and the angel is about sealing the record. I am going
where the heart will never feel the touch of sorrow. I wished to see
you once more before I died; and you are here. I have, once more,
felt your breath upon my cheek; once more held your hand in mine.
For this my heart is grateful. You had become the sun of my life,
and when your face was turned away, the flower that spread itself
joyfully in the light, drooped and faded. And now, the light has
come back again; but it cannot warm into freshness and beauty the
withered blossom."
"Oh, my Edith! Say not so! Live for me! I have no thoughts, no
affection that is not for you. The drooping flower will lift itself
again in the sunshine when the clouds have passed away."
As the young man said this, Edith raised herself up suddenly, and,
with a fond gesture, flung herself forward upon his bosom. For a few
moments her form quivered in his arms. Then all became still, and he
felt her lying heavier and heavier against him. In a little while he
was conscious that he clasped to his heart only the earthly
semblance of one who had passed away forever.
Replacing the light and faded form of her who, a little while
before, had been in the vigor of health, upon the bed, Edwin gazed
upon the sunken features for a few moments, and then, leaving a last
kiss upon her cold lips, hurried aware.
Another page in his Book of Life was written, There was another
record there from which memory, in after life, could read. And such
a record! What would he not have given to erase that page!
When the body of Edith Walter was borne to its last resting-place,
Florence was among the mourners. After looking his last look upon
the coffin that contained the body, he went away, sadder in heart
than he had ever been in his life. He was not only a prey to
sadness, but to painful self-accusation. In his perfidy lay the
cause of her death. He had broken the heart that confided in him,
and only repented of his error when it was too late to repair the
ruin.
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