Books: Hudibras

Egyptians us'd by bees
T' express their antick PTOLOMIES;
And by their stings, the swords they wore,
Held forth authority and power; 1590
Because these subtil animals
Bear all their int'rests in their tails;
And when they're once impar'd in that,
Are banish'd their well-order'd state;
They thought all governments were best 1595
By Hieroglyphick Rumps exprest.

For, as in bodies natural,
The rump's the fundament of all;
So, in a commonwealth, or realm,
The government is call'd the helm; 1600
With which, like vessels under sail,
They're turn'd and winded by the tail;
The tail, which birds and fishes steer
Their courses with through sea and air;
To whom the rudder of the rump is 1605
The same thing with the stern and compass.
This shews how perfectly the Rump
And Commonwealth in nature jump.
For as a fly, that goes to bed,
Rests with his tail above his head, 1610
So in this mungrel state of ours;
The rabble are the supreme powers;
That hors'd us on their backs, to show us
A jadish trick at last, and throw us.

The learned Rabbins of the Jews 1615
Write there's a bone, which they call leuz,
I' th' rump of man, of such a virtue,
No force in nature can do hurt to;
And therefore at the last great day,
All th' other members shall, they say, 1620
Spring out of this, as from a seed
All sorts of vegetals proceed;
From whence the learned sons of art
Os Sacrum justly stile that part.
Then what can better represent 1625
Than this Rump Bone the Parliament;
That, alter several rude ejections,
And as prodigious resurrections,
With new reversions of nine lives,
Starts up, and like a cat revives? 1630

But now, alas! they're all expir'd,
And th' House, as well as Members, fir'd;
Consum'd in kennels by the rout,
With which they other fires put out:
Condemn'd t' ungoverning distress, 1635
And paultry, private wretchedness;
Worse than the Devil, to privation,
Beyond all hopes of restoration;
And parted, like the body and soul,
From all dominion and controul. 1640
We, who cou'd lately with a look
Enact, establish, or revoke;
Whose arbitrary nods gave law,
And frowns kept multitudes in awe;
Before the bluster of whose huff, 1645
All hats, as in a storm, flew off;
Ador'd and bowed to by the great,
Down to the footman and valet;
Had more bent knees than chapel-mats,
And prayers than the crowns of hats; 1650
Shall now be scorn'd as wretchedly;
For ruin's just as low as high;
Which might be suffer'd, were it all
The horror that attends our fall:
For some of us have scores more large 1655
Than heads and quarters can discharge;
And others, who, by restless scraping,
With publick frauds, and private rapine,
Have mighty heaps of wealth amass'd,
Would gladly lay down all at last; 1660
And to be but undone, entail
Their vessels on perpetual jail;
And bless the Dev'l to let them farms
Of forfeit souls on no worse terms.

This said, a near and louder shout 1665
Put all th' assembly to the rout,
Who now begun t' out-run their fear,
As horses do from whom they bear;
But crowded on with so mach haste,
Until th' had block'd the passage fast, 1670
And barricado'd it with haunches
Of outward men, and bulks, and paunches,
That with their shoulders strove to squeeze,
And rather save a crippled piece
Of all their crush'd and broken members, 1675
Than have them grilled on the embers;
Still pressing on with heavy packs
Of one another on their backs:
The van-guard could no longer hear
The charges of the forlorn rear, 1680
But, born down headlong by the rout,
Were trampled sorely under foot:
Yet nothing prov'd so formidable
As the horrid cookery of the rabble;
And fear, that keeps all feeling out, 1685
As lesser pains are by the gout,
Reliev'd 'em with a fresh supply
Of rallied force enough to fly,
And beat a Tuscan running-horse,
Whose jockey-rider is all spurs. 1690



NOTES TO PART III. CANTO II.


1 g The Learned write, &c.] An insect breeze. Breezes often
bring along with them great quantities of insects, which some
are of opinion, are generated from viscous exhalations in the air;
but our Author makes them proceed from a cow's dung, and
afterwards become a plague to that whence it received its
original.

13 h For as the Persian, &c.] The Magi were priests and
philosophers among the Persians, intrusted with the government
both civil and ecclesiastick, much addicted to the observation of
the stars. Zoroaster is reported to be their first author. They had
this custom amongst them, to preserve and continue their
families by incestuous copulation with their own mothers. Some
are of opinion, that the three wise men that came out of the East
to worship our Saviour were some of these.

51 i At Michael's Term, &c.] St. Michael, an archangel;
mentioned in St. Jude's Epistle, Verse 9.

78 k And laid about, &c.] William Prynne, of Lincoln's-Inn,
Esq. born at Swanswick, who stiled himself Utter Barrister, a
very warm person, and voluminous writer; and after the
Restoration, keeper of the records in the Tower.

146 l As Dutch Boors, &c.] It is reported of the Dutch women,
that making so great use of stoves, and often putting them under
their petticoats, they engender a kind of ugly monster, which is
called a Sooterkin.

151 m T' out-cant the Babylonian, &c.] At the building of the
Tower of Babel, when God made the confusion of languages.

215 Toss'd in a furious Hurricane, &c.] At Oliver's death was a
most furious tempest, such as had not been known in the
memory of man, or hardly ever recorded to have been in this
nation. This Sterry reported something ridiculously fabulous
concerning Oliver, not unlike what Proculus did of Romulus.

224 o False Heaven, &c.] After the Restoration, Oliver's body
was dug up, and his head set at the farther end of Westminster-
hall, near which place there is an house of entertainment, which
is commonly known by the name of Heaven.