Books: Jo\'s Boys

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All this was uttered with such rapidity that Ted could only stand
gazing at the buxom damsels, who fixed their six blue eyes upon
him so beseechingly that his native gallantry made it impossible to
deny them a civil reply at least.

'Mrs Bhaer is not visible today out just now, I believe; but you
can see the house and grounds if you like,' he murmured, falling
back as the four pressed in gazing rapturously about them.

'Oh, thank you! Sweet, pretty place I'm sure! That's where she
writes, ain't it? Do tell me if that's her picture! Looks just as I
imagined her!'

With these remarks the ladies paused before a fine engraving of
the Hon. Mrs Norton, with a pen in her hand and a rapt expression
of countenance, likewise a diadem and pearl necklace.

Keeping his gravity with an effort, Teddy pointed to a very bad
portrait of Mrs Jo, which hung behind the door, and afforded her
much amusement, it was so dismal, in spite of a curious effect of
light upon the end of the nose and cheeks as red as the chair she
sat

in.

'This was taken for my mother; but it is not very good,' he said,
enjoying the struggles of the girls not to look dismayed at the sad
difference between the real and the ideal. The youngest, aged
twelve, could not conceal her disappointment, and turned away,
feeling as so many of us have felt when we discover that our idols
are very ordinary men and women.

'I thought she'd be about sixteen and have her hair braided in two
tails down her back. I don't care about seeing her now,' said the
honest child, walking off to the hall door, leaving her mother to
apologize, and her sisters to declare that the bad portrait was
'perfectly lovely, so speaking and poetic, you know, 'specially
about the brow'.

'Come girls, we must be goin', if we want to get through today.
You can leave your albums and have them sent when Mrs Bhaer
has written a sentiment in 'em. We are a thousand times obliged.
Give our best love to your ma, and tell her we are so sorry not to
see her.' words her eye fell upon a middle-aged woman in a large
checked apron, with a handkerchief tied over her head, busily
dusting an end room which looked like a study.

'One peep at her sanctum since she is out,' cried the enthusiastic
lady, and swept across the hall with her flock before Teddy could
warn his mother, whose retreat had been cut off by the artist in
front, the reporter at the back of the house for he hadn't gone
and the ladies in the hall.

'They've got her!' thought Teddy, in comical dismay. 'No use for
her to play housemaid since they've seen the portrait.'

Mrs Jo did her best, and being a good actress, would have escaped
if the fatal picture had not betrayed her. Mrs Parmalee paused at
the desk, and regardless of the meerschaum that lay there, the
man's slippers close by, and a pile of letters directed to 'Prof.

F. Bhaer', she clasped her hands, exclaiming impressively: 'Girls,
this is the spot where she wrote those sweet, those moral tales
which have thrilled us to the soul! Could I ah, could I take one
morsel of paper, an old pen, a postage stamp even, as a memento
of this gifted woman?'

'Yes'm, help yourselves,' replied the maid, moving away with a
glance at the boy, whose eyes were now full of merriment he could
not suppress.

The oldest girl saw it, guessed the truth, and a quick look at the
woman in the apron confirmed her suspicion. Touching her
mother, she whispered: 'Ma, it's Mrs Bhaer herself. I know it is.'

'No? yes? it is! Well, I do declare, how nice that is!' And hastily
pursuing the unhappy woman, who was making for the door, Mrs
Parmalee cried eagerly:

'Don't mind US! I know you're busy, but just let me take your hand
and then we'll go.'

Giving herself up for lost, Mrs Jo turned and presented her hand
like a tea-tray, submitting to have it heartily shaken, as the matron
said, with somewhat alarming hospitality:

'If ever you come to Oshkosh, your feet won't be allowed to touch
the pavement; for you'll be borne in the arms of the populace, we
shall be so dreadful glad to see you.'

Mentally resolving never to visit that effusive town, Jo responded
as cordially as she could; and having written her name in the
albums, provided each visitor with a memento, and kissed them all
round, they at last departed, to call on 'Longfeller, Holmes, and the
rest' who were all out, it is devoutly to be hoped.

'You villain, why didn't you give me a chance to whip away? Oh,
my dear, what fibs you told that man! I hope we shall be forgiven
our sins in this line, but I don't know what is to become of us if we
don't dodge. So many against one isn't fair play.' And Mrs Jo hung
up her apron in the hall closet, with a groan at the trials of her lot.

'More people coming up the avenue! Better dodge while the coast
is clear! I'll head them off!' cried Teddy, looking back from the
steps, as he was departing to school.

Mrs Jo flew upstairs, and having locked her door, calmly viewed a
young ladies' seminary camp on the lawn, and being denied the
house, proceed to enjoy themselves by picking the flowers, doing
up their hair, eating lunch, and freely expressing their opinion of
the place and its possessors before they went.

A few hours of quiet followed, and she was just settling down to a
long afternoon of hard work, when Rob came home to tell her that
the Young Men's Christian Union would visit the college, and two
or three of the fellows whom she knew wanted to pay their
respects to her on the way.

'It is going to rain, so they won't come, I dare say; but father
thought you'd like to be ready, in case they do call. You always see
the boys, you know, though you harden your heart to the poor
girls,' said Rob, who had heard from his brother about the morning
visitations.

'Boys don't gush, so I can stand it. The last time I let in a party of
girls one fell into my arms and said, "Darling, love me!" I wanted
to shake her,' answered Mrs Jo, wiping her pen with energy.

'You may be sure the fellows won't do it, but they will want
autographs, so you'd better be prepared with a few dozen,' said
Rob, laying out a quire of notepaper, being a hospitable youth and
sympathizing with those who admired his mother.

'They can't outdo the girls. At X College I really believe I wrote
three hundred during the day I was there, and I left a pile of cards
and albums on my table when I came away. It is one of the most
absurd and tiresome manias that ever afflicted the world.'

Nevertheless Mrs Jo wrote her name a dozen times, put on her
black silk, and resigned herself to the impending call, praying for
rain, however, as she returned to her work.

The shower came, and feeling quite secure, she rumpled up her
hair, took off her cuffs, and hurried to finish her chapter; for thirty
pages a day was her task, and she liked to have it well done before
evening. Josie had brought some flowers for the vases, and was
just putting the last touches when she saw several umbrellas
bobbing down the hill.

'They are coming, Aunty! I see uncle hurrying across the field to
receive them,' she called at the stair-foot.

'Keep an eye on them, and let me know when they enter the
avenue. It will take but a minute to tidy up and run down,'
answered Mrs Jo, scribbling away for dear life, because serials
wait for no man, not even the whole Christian Union en masse.

'There are more than two or three. I see half a dozen at least,'
called sister Ann from the hall door. 'No! a dozen, I do believe;
Aunty, look out; they are all coming! What shall we do?' And Josie
quailed at the idea of facing the black throng rapidly approaching.

'Mercy on us, there are hundreds! Run and put a tub in the back
entry for their umbrellas to drip into. Tell them to go down the hall
and leave them, and pile their hats on the table; the tree won't hold
them all. No use to get mats; my poor carpets!' And down went
Mrs Jo to prepare for the invasion, while Josie and the maids flew
about dismayed at the prospect of so many muddy boots.

On they came, a long line of umbrellas, with splashed legs and
flushed faces underneath; for the gentlemen had been having a
good time all over the town, undisturbed by the rain. Professor
Bhaer met them at the gate, and was making a little speech of
welcome, when Mrs Jo, touched by their bedraggled state,
appeared at the door, beckoning them in. Leaving their host to
orate bareheaded in the wet, the young men hastened up the steps,
merry, warm, and eager, clutching off their hats as they came, and
struggling with their umbrellas, as the order was passed to march
in and stack arms.

Tramp, tramp, tramp, down the hall went seventy-five pairs of
boots; soon seventy-five umbrellas dripped sociably in the
hospitable tub, while their owners swarmed all over the lower part
of the house; and seventy-five hearty hands were shaken by the
hostess without a murmur, though some were wet, some very
warm, and nearly all bore trophies of the day's ramble. One
impetuous party flourished a small turtle as he made his
compliments; another had a load of sticks cut from noted spots;
and all begged for some memento of Plumfield. A pile of cards
mysteriously appeared on the table, with a written request for
autographs; and despite her morning vow, Mrs Jo wrote everyone,
while her husband and boys did the honours of the house.

Josie fled to the back parlour, but was discovered by exploring
youths, and mortally insulted by one of them, who innocently
inquired if she was Mrs Bhaer. The reception did not last long, and
the end was better than the beginning; for the rain ceased, and a
rainbow shone beautifully over them as the good fellows stood
upon the lawn singing sweetly for a farewell. A happy omen, that
bow of promise arched over the young heads, as if Heaven smiled
upon their union, and showed them that above the muddy earth
and rainy skies the blessed sun still shone for all. Three cheers, and
then away they went, leaving a pleasant recollection of their visit
to amuse the family as they scraped the mud off the carpets with
shovels and emptied the tub half-full of water.

'Nice, honest, hard-working fellows, and I don't begrudge my
half-hour at all; but I must finish, so don't let anyone disturb me till
tea-time,' said Mrs Jo, leaving Mary to shut up the house; for papa
and the boys had gone off with the guests, and Josie had run home
to tell her mother about the fun at Aunt Jo's.

Peace reigned for an hour, then the bell rang and Mary came
giggling up to say: 'A queer kind of a lady wants to know if she can
catch a grasshopper in the garden.'

'A what?' cried Mrs Jo, dropping her pen with a blot; for of all the
odd requests ever made, this was the oddest.

'A grasshopper, ma'am. I said you was busy, and asked what she
wanted, and says she: "I've got grasshoppers from the grounds of
several famous folks, and I want one from Plumfield to add to my
collection." Did you ever?' And Mary giggled again at the idea.

'Tell her to take all there are and welcome. I shall be glad to get rid
of them; always bouncing in my face and getting in my dress,'
laughed Mrs Jo.

Mary retired, to return in a moment nearly speechless with
merriment.

'She's much obliged, ma'am, and she'd like an old gown or a pair of
stockings of yours to put in a rug she's making. Got a vest of
Emerson's, she says, and a

piir of MF S!~i~s trousers, anJ a dress of Mrs Stowe's. She must be
crazy!'

'Give her that old red shawl, then I shall make a gay show among
the great ones in that astonishing rug. Yes, they are all lunatics,
these lion-hunters; but this seems to be a harmless maniac, for she
doesn't take my time, and gives me a good laugh,' said Mrs Jo,
returning to her work after a glance from the window, which
showed her a tall, thin lady in rusty black, skipping wildly to and
fro on the lawn in pursuit of the lively insect she wanted.

No more interruptions till the light began to fade, then Mary
popped her head in to say a gentleman wished to see Mrs Bhaer,
and wouldn't take no for an answer.

'He must. I shall not go down. This has been an awful day, and I
won't be disturbed again,' replied the harassed authoress, pausing
in the midst of the grand finale of her chapter.

'I told him so, ma'am; but he walked right in as bold as brass. I
guess he's another crazy one, and I declare I'm 'most afraid of him,
he's so big and black, and cool as cucumbers, though I will say he's
good-looking,' added Mary, with a simper; for the stranger had
evidently found favour in her sight despite his boldness.

'My day has been ruined, and I will have this last half-hour to
finish. Tell him to go away; I won't go down,' cried Mrs Jo,
fiercely.

Mary went; and listening, in spite of herself, her mistress heard
first a murmur of voices, then a cry from Mary, and remembering
the ways of reporters, also that her maid was both pretty and timid,
Mrs Bhaer flung down her pen and went to the rescue. Descending
with her most majestic air she demanded in an awe-inspiring
voice, as she paused to survey the somewhat brigandish intruder,
who seemed to be storming the staircase which Mary was gallantly
defending:

'Who is this person who insists on remaining when I have declined
to see him?'

'I'm sure I don't know, ma'am. He won't give no name, and says
you'll be sorry if you don't see him,' answered Mary, retiring
flushed and indignant from her post.

'Won't you be sorry?' asked the stranger, looking up with a pair of
black eyes full of laughter, the flash of white teeth through a long
beard, and both hands out as he boldly approached the irate lady.

Mrs Jo gave one keen look, for the voice was familiar; then
completed Mary's bewilderment by throwing both arms round the
brigand's neck, exclaiming joyfully: 'My dearest boy, where did
you come from?'

'California, on purpose to see you, Mother Bhaer. Now won't you
be sorry if I go away?' answered Dan, with a hearty kiss.

'To think of my ordering you out of the house when I've been
longing to see you for a year,' laughed Mrs Jo, and she went down
to have a good talk with her returned wanderer, who enjoyed the
joke immensely.

Chapter 4 DAN

Mrs Jo often thought that Dan had Indian blood in him, not only
because of his love of a wild, wandering life, but his appearance;
for as he grew up, this became more striking. At twenty-five he
was very tall, with sinewy limbs, a keen, dark face, and the alert
look of one whose senses were all alive; rough in manner, full of
energy, quick with word and blow, eyes full of the old fire, always
watchful as if used to keep guard, and a general air of vigour and
freshness very charming to those who knew the dangers and
delights of his adventurous life. He was looking his best as he sat
talking with 'Mother Bhaer', one strong brown hand in hers, and a
world of affection in his voice as he said:

'Forget old friends! How could I forget the only home I ever knew?
Why, I was in such a hurry to come and tell my good luck that I
didn't stop to fix up, you see; though I knew you'd think I looked
more like a wild buffalo than ever,' with a shake of his shaggy
black head, a tug at his beard, and a laugh that made the room ring.

'I like it; I always had a fancy for banditti and you look just like
one. Mary, being a newcomer, was frightened at your looks and
manners. Josie won't know you, but Ted will recognize his Danny
in spite of the big beard and flowing mane. They will all be here
soon to welcome you; so before they come tell me more about
yourself. Why, Dan, dear! it's nearly two years since you were
here! Has it gone well with you?' asked Mrs Jo, who had been
listening with maternal interest to his account of life in California,
and the unexpected success of a small investment he had made.

'First-rate! I don't care for the money, you know. I only want a
trifle to pay my way rather earn as I go, and not be bothered with
the care of a lot. It's the fun of the thing coming to me, and my
being able to give away, that I like. No use to lay up; I shan't live
to be old and need it my sort never do,' said Dan, looking as if his
little fortune rather oppressed him.

'But if you marry and settle somewhere, as I hope you will, you
must have something to begin with, my son. So be prudent and
invest your money; don't give it away, for rainy days come to all of
us, and dependence would be very hard for you to bear,' answered
Mrs Jo with a sage air, though she liked to see that the
money-making fever had not seized her lucky boy yet.

Dan shook his head, and glanced about the room as if he already
found it rather confined and longed for all out-of-doors again.

'Who would marry a jack-o'-lantern like me? Women like a
steady-going man; I shall never be that.'

'My dear boy, when I was a girl I liked just such adventurous
fellows as you are. Anything fresh and daring, free and romantic, is
always attractive to us womenfolk. Don't be discouraged; you'll
find an anchor some day, and be content to take shorter voyages
and bring home a good cargo.'

DAN 61

'What should you say if I brought you an Indian squaw some day?'
asked Dan, with a glimmer of mischief in the eyes that rested on a
marble bust of Galatea gleaming white and lovely in the corner.

'Welcome her heartily, if she was a good one. Is there a prospect of
it?' and Mrs Jo peered at him with the interest which even literary
ladies take in love affairs.

'Not at present, thank you. I'm too busy "to gallivant", as Ted calls
it. How is the boy?' asked Dan, skilfully turning the conversation,
as if he had had enough of sentiment.

Mrs Jo was off at once, and expatiated upon the talents and virtues
of her sons till they came bursting in and fell upon Dan like two
affectionate young bears, finding a vent for their joyful emotions
in a sort of friendly wrestling-match; in which both got worsted, of
course, for the hunter soon settled them. The Professor followed,
and tongues went like mill-clappers while Mary lighted up and
cook devoted herself to an unusually good supper, instinctively
divining that this guest was a welcome one.

After tea Dan was walking up and down the long rooms as he
talked, with occasional trips into the hall for a fresher breath of air,
his lungs seeming to need more than those of civilized people. In
one of these trips he saw a white figure framed in the dark
doorway, and paused to look at it. Bess paused also, not
recognizing her old friend, and quite unconscious of the pretty
picture she made standing, tall and slender, against the soft gloom
of the summer night, with her golden hair like a halo round her
head, and the ends of a white shawl blown out like wings by the
cool wind sweeping through the hail. 'Is it Dan?' she asked, coming
in with a gracious smile and outstretched hand.

'Looks like it; but I didn't know you, Princess. I thought it was a
spirit,' answered Dan, looking down at her with a curious softness
and wonder in his face.

'I've grown very much, but two years have changed you entirely';
and Bess looked up with girlish pleasure at the picturesque figure
before her for it was a

decideci contrast to the well~dressed people about

her.

Before they could say more, Josie rushed in, and, forgetfull of the
newly acquired dignity of her teens, let Dan catch her up and kiss
her like a child. Not till he set her down did he discover she also
was changed, and exclaimed in comic dismay:

'Hallo! Why, you are growing up too! What am I going to do, with
no young one to play with? Here's Ted going it like a beanstalk,
and Bess a young lady, and even you, my mustard-seed, letting
down your frocks and putting on airs.'

The girls laughed, and Josie blushed as she stared at the tall man,
conscious that she had leaped before she looked. They made a
pretty contrast, these two young cousins one as fair as a lily, the
other a little wild rose. And Dan gave a nod of satisfaction as he
surveyed them; for he had seen many bonny girls in his travels, and
was glad that these old friends were blooming so beautifully.

'Here! we can't allow any monopoly of Dan!' called Mrs Jo. 'Bring
him back and keep an eye on him, or he will be slipping off for
another little run of a year or two before we have half seen him.'

Led by these agreeable captors, Dan returned to the

DAN 63

parlour to receive a scolding from Josie for getting ahead of all the
other boys and looking like a man first.

'Emil is older; but he's only a boy, and dances jigs and sings sailor
songs just as he used to. You look about thirty, and as big and
black as a villain in a play. Oh, I've got a splendid idea! You are
just the thing for Arbaces in The Last Days of Pompeii. We want
to act it; have the lion and the gladiators and the eruption. Tom
and Ted are going to shower bushels of ashes down and roll barrels
of stones about. We wanted a dark man for the Egyptian; and you
will be gorgeous in red and white shawls. Won't he, Aunt Jo?'

This deluge of words made Dan clap his hands over his ears; and
before Mrs Bhaer could answer her impetuous niece the
Laurences, with Meg and her family, arrived, soon followed by
Tom and Nan, and all sat down to listen to Dan's adventures told
in brief yet effective manner, as the varying expressions of interest,
wonder, merriment, and suspense painted on the circle of faces
round him plainly showed. The boys all wanted to start at once for
California and make fortunes; the girls could hardly wait for the
curious and pretty things he had picked up for them in his travels;
while the elders rejoiced heartily over the energy and good
prospects of their wild boy.

'Of course you will want to go back for another stroke of luck; and
I hope you will have it. But speculation is a dangerous game, and
you may lose all you've won,' said Mr Laurie, who had enjoyed the
stirring tale as much as any of the boys, and would have liked to
rough it with Dan as well as they.

'I've had enough of it, for a while at least; too much like gambling.
The excitement is all I care for, and it isn't good for me. I have a
notion to try farming out West. It's grand on a large scale; and I
feel as if steady work would be rather jolly after loafing round so
long. I can make a beginning, and you can send me your black
sheep to stock my place with. I tried sheep-farming in Australia,
and know something about black ones, any way.'

A laugh chased away the sober look in Dan's face as he ended; and
those who knew him best guessed that he had learned a lesson
there in San Francisco, and dared not try again.

'That is a capital idea, Dan!' cried Mrs Jo, seeing great hope in this
desire to fix himself somewhere and help others. 'We shall know
where you are, and can go and see you, and not have half the world
between us. I'll send my Ted for a visit. He's such a restless spirit,
it would do him good. With you he would be safe while he worked
off his surplus energies and learned a wholesome business.'

'I'll use the "shubble and de hoe" like a good one, if I get a chance
out there; but the Speranza mines sound rather jollier,' said Ted,
examining the samples of ore Dan had brought for the Professor.

'You go and start a new town, and when we are ready to swarm we
will come out and settle there. You will want a newspaper very
soon, and I like the idea of running one myself much better than
grinding away as I do now,' observed Demi, panting to distinguish
himself in the journalistic line.

'We could easily plant a new college there. These sturdy
Westerners are hungry for learning, and very quick to see and
choose the best,' added ever-young Mr March, beholding with his
prophetic eye many duplicates of their own flourishing
establishment springing up in the wide West.

'Go on, Dan. It is a fine plan, and we will back you up. I shouldn't
mind investing in a few prairies and cowboys myself,' said Mr
Laurie, always ready to help the lads to help themselves, both by
his cheery words and ever-open purse.

'A little money sort of ballasts a fellow, and investing it in land
anchors him for a while, at least. I'd like to see what I can do, but
I thought I'd consult you before I decided. Have my doubts about it
suiting me for many years; but I can cut loose when I'm tired,'
answered Dan, both touched and pleased at the eager interest of
these friends in his plans.

'I know you won't like it. After having the whole world to roam
over, one farm will seem dreadfully small and stupid,' said Josie,
who much preferred the romance of the wandering life which
brought her thrilling tales and pretty things at each return.

'Is there any art out there?' asked Bess, thinking what a good study
in black and white Dan would make as he stood talking, half
turned from the light.

'Plenty of nature, dear; and that is better. You will find splendid
animals to model, and scenery such as you never saw in Europe to
paint. Even prosaic pumpkins are grand out there. You can play
Cinderella in one of them, Josie, when you open your theatre in
Dansville,' said Mr Laurie, anxious that no cold water should be
thrown on the new plan.

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