Books: Memoirs of Lady Fanshawe

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It was in May 1645, the first time I went out of my chamber and to
church, where, after service, Sir William Parkhurst, a very honest
gentleman, came to me, and said he had a letter for me from your
father and fifty pieces of gold, and was coming to bring them to me. I
opened first my letter, and read those inexpressible joys that almost
overcame me, for he told me I should the Thursday following come to
him, and to that purpose he had sent me that money, and would send two
of his men with horses, and all accommodation both for myself, my
father, and sister, and that Lady Capell and Lady Bradford would meet
me on the way; but that gold your father sent me when I was ready to
perish, did not so much revive me as his summons. I went immediately
to walk, or at least to sit in the air, being very weak, in the garden
of St. John's College, and there, with my good father, communicated my
joy, who took great pleasure to hear of my husband's good success and
likewise of his journey to him. We, all of my household being present,
heard drums beat in the highway, under the garden wall. My father
asked me if I would go up upon the mount to see the soldiers march,
for it was Sir Charles Lee's company of foot, an acquaintance of ours;
I said yes, and went up, leaning my back to a tree that grew on the
mount. The commander seeing us there, in compliment gave us a volley
of shot, and one of their muskets being loaded, shot a brace of
bullets not two inches above my head as I leaned to the tree, for
which mercy and deliverance I praise God. And next week we were all on
our journey for Bristol very merry, and thought that now all things
would mend, and the worst of my misfortunes past, but little thought I
to leap into the sea that would toss me until it had racked me; but we
were to ride all night by agreement, for fear of the enemy surprising
us as they passed, they quartering in the way. About nightfall having
travelled about twenty miles, we discovered a troop of horse coming
towards us, which proved to be Sir Marmaduke Rawdon, a worthy
commander and my countryman: he told me, that hearing I was to pass by
his garrison, he was come out to conduct me, he hoped as far as was
danger, which was about twelve miles: with many thanks we parted, and
having refreshed ourselves and horses, we set forth for Bristol, where
we arrived on the 2Oth of May.

My husband had provided very good lodgings for us, and as soon as he
could come home from the Council, where he was at my arrival, he with
all expressions of joy received me in his arms, and gave me a hundred
pieces of gold, saying, "I know thou that keeps my heart so well, will
keep my fortune, which from this time I will ever put into thy hands
as God shall bless me with increase." And now I thought myself a
perfect queen, and my husband so glorious a crown, that I more valued
myself to be called by his name than born a princess, for I knew him
very wise and very good, and his soul doted on me; upon which
confidence I will tell you what happened. My Lady Rivers, a brave
woman, and one that had suffered many thousand pounds loss for the
King, and whom I had a great reverence for, and she a kindness for me
as a kinswoman, in discourse she tacitly commended the knowledge of
state affairs, and that some women were very happy in a good
understanding thereof, as my Lady Aubigny, Lady Isabel Thynne, and
divers others, and yet none was at first more capable than I; that in
the night she knew there came a post from Paris from the Queen, and
that she would be extremely glad to hear what the Queen commanded the
King in order to his affairs; saying, if I would ask my husband
privately, he would tell me what he found in the packet, and I might
tell her. I that was young and innocent, and to that day had never in
my mouth what news, began to think there was more in inquiring into
public affairs than I thought of, and that it being a fashionable
thing would make me more beloved of my husband, if that had been
possible, than I was. When my husband returned home from Council,
after welcoming him, as his custom ever was he went with his handful
of papers into his study for an hour or more; I followed him; he
turned hastily, and said, "What wouldst thou have, my life?" I told
him, I had heard the Prince had received a packet from the Queen, and
I guessed it was that in his hand, and I desired to know what was in
it; he smilingly replied, "My love, I will immediately come to thee,
pray thee go, for I am very busy." When he came out of his closet I
revived my suit; he kissed me, and talked of other things. At supper I
would eat nothing; he as usual sat by me, and drank often to me, which
was his custom, and was full of discourse to company that was at
table. Going to bed I asked again, and said I could not believe he
loved me if he refused to tell me all he knew; but he answered
nothing, but stopped my mouth with kisses. So we went to bed, I cried,
and he went to sleep. Next morning early, as his custom was, he called
to rise, but began to discourse with me first, to which I made no
reply; he rose, came on the other side of the bed and kissed me, and
drew the curtains softly and went to Court. When he came home to
dinner, he presently came to me as was usual, and when I had him by
the hand, I said, 'Thou dost not care to see me troubled'; to which he
taking me in his arms, answered, 'My dearest soul, nothing upon earth
can afflict me like that, and when you asked me of my business, it was
wholly out of my power to satisfy thee, for my life and fortune shall
be thine, and every thought of my heart in which the trust I am in may
not be revealed, but my honour is my own, which I cannot preserve if I
communicate the Prince's affairs; and pray thee with this answer rest
satisfied.' So great was his reason and goodness, that upon
consideration it made my folly appear to me so vile, that from that
day until the day of his death I never thought fit to ask him any
business but what he communicated freely to me in order to his estate
or family. My husband grew much in the Prince's favour; and Mr. Long
not being suffered to execute the business of his place, as the
Council suspected that he held private intelligence with the Earl of
Essex, which when he perceived he went into the enemy's quarters, and
so to London, and then into France, full of complaints of the Prince's
Council to the Queen-Mother, and when he was gone your father supplied
his place.

About July this year, [1645,] the plague increased so fast in Bristol,
that the Prince and all his retinue went to Barnstaple, which is one
of the finest towns in England; and your father and I went two days
after the Prince; for during all the time I was in the Court I never
journeyed but either before him, or when he was gone, nor ever saw him
but at church, for it was not in those days the fashion for honest
women, except they had business, to visit a man's Court. I saw there
at Mr. Palmer's, where we lay, who was a merchant, a parrot above a
hundred years old. They have, near this town, a fruit called a
massard, like a cherry, but different in taste, and makes the best
pies with their sort of cream I ever eat. My Lady Capell here left us,
and with a pass from the Earl of Essex, went to London with her eldest
daughter, now Marquesse of Worcester. Sir Allan Apsley was governor of
the town, and we had all sorts of good provision and accommodation;
but the Prince's affairs calling him from that place, we went to
Launceston, in Cornwall, and thither came very many gentlemen of that
county to do their duties to his Highness: they were generally loyal
to the crown and hospitable to their neighbours, but they are of a
crafty and censorious nature, as most are so far from London. That
country hath great plenty, especially of fish and fowl, but nothing
near so fat and sweet as within forty miles of London. We were
quartered at Truro, twenty miles beyond Launceston, in which place I
had like to have been robbed. One night having with me but seven or
eight persons, my husband being then at Launceston with his master,
somebody had discovered that my husband had a little trunk of the
Prince's in keeping, in which were some jewels that tempted them us to
assay; but, praised be God, I defended, with the few servants I had,
the house so long that help came from the town to my rescue, which was
not above a flight shot from the place where I dwelt; and the next day
upon my notice my husband sent me a guard by his Highness's command.
From thence the Court removed to Pendennis Castle, some time commanded
by Sir Nicholas Slanning, who lost his life bravely in the King's
service [Footnote: He was killed at the siege of Bristol.], and left
an excellent name behind him. In this place came Sir John Granville
into his Highness's service, and was made a gentleman of his
bedchamber. His father was a very honest gentleman, and lost his life
in the King's service; and his uncle, Sir Richard, was a good
commander but a little too severe. I was at Penzance with my father,
and in the same town was my brother Fanshawe and his lady and
children. My father and that family embarked for Morlaix, in
Brittanny, with my father's new wife, which he had then married out of
that family. My cousin Fanshawe, of Jenkins, and his eldest son, being
with them, went also over, but being in a small vessel of that port
and surprised with a great storm, they had all like to have been cast
away, which forced them to land in a little creek, two leagues from
Morlaix, upon the 28th of March, 1646; and five days after the Prince
and all his council embarked themselves in a ship called the Phoenix,
for the Isles of Scilly. They went from the Land's-end, and so did we;
being accompanied with many gentlemen of that country, among whom was
Sir Francis Basset, Governor of the Mount, an honest gentleman, and so
were all his family; and in particular we received great civility from
them. But we left our house and furniture with Captain Bluet, who
promised to keep them until such a time as we could dispose of them;
but when we sent, he said he had been plundered of them,
notwithstanding it was well known he lost nothing of his own. At that
time this loss went deep with us, for we lost to the value of 2OO
pounds and more. But, as the proverb saith, an evil chance seldom
comes alone: we having put all our present estate into two trunks, and
carried them aboard with us in a ship commanded by Sir Nicholas
Crispe, whose skill and honesty the master and seamen had no opinion
of, my husband was forced to appease their mutiny which his
miscarriage caused; and taking out money to pay the seamen, that night
following they broke open one of our trunks, and took out a bag of 60
pounds and a quantity of gold lace, with our best clothes and linen,
with all my combs, gloves, and ribbons, which amounted to near 300
pounds more. The next day, after having been pillaged, and extremely
sick and big with child, I was set on shore almost dead in the island
of Scilly. When we had got to our quarters near the Castle, where the
Prince lay, I went immediately to bed, which was so vile, that my
footman ever lay in a better, and we had but three in the whole house,
which consisted of four rooms, or rather partitions, two low rooms and
two little lofts, with a ladder to go up: in one of these they kept
dried fish, which was his trade, and in this my husband's two clerks
lay, one there was for my sister, and one for myself, and one amongst
the rest of the servants. But, when I waked in the morning, I was so
cold I knew not what to do, but the daylight discovered that my bed
was near swimming with the sea, which the owner told us afterwards it
never did so but at spring tide. With this, we were destitute of
clothes,--and meat, and fuel, for half the Court to serve them a month
was not to be had in the whole island; and truly we begged our daily
bread of God, for we thought every meal our last. The Council sent for
provisions to France, which served us, but they were bad, and a little
of them. Then, after three weeks and odd days, we set sail for the
Isle of Jersey, where we safely arrived, praised be God, beyond the
belief of all the beholders from that island; for the pilot not
knowing the way into the harbour, sailed over the rocks, but being
spring tide, and by chance high water, God be praised, his Highness
and all of us came safe ashore through so great a danger. Sir George
Carteret was Lieutenant-Governor of the island, under my Lord St.
Albans: a man formerly bred a sea-boy, and born in that island, the
brother's son of Sir Philip Carteret, whose younger daughter he
afterwards married. He endeavoured, with all his power, to entertain
his Highness and Court with all plenty and kindness possible, both
which the island afforded, and what was wanting, he sent for out of
France.

There are in this island two castles, both good, but St. Mary's is
best, and hath the largest reception. There are many gentlemen's
houses, at which we were entertained. They have fine walks along to
their doors, double elms or oaks, which is extremely pleasant, and
their ordinary highways are good walks, by reason of the shadow. The
whole place is grass, except some small parcels where corn is grown.
The chiefest employment is knitting; they neither speak English nor
good French; they are a cheerful, good-natured people, and truly
subject to the present government. We quartered at a widow's house in
the market-place, Madame De Pommes, a stocking merchant: here I was
upon the 7th of March, [Footnote: Query, May or June. She did not
arrive in Jersey until April.] 1646, delivered of my second child, a
daughter, christened Anne. And now there began great disputes about
the Prince, for the Queen would have him to Paris, to which end she
sent many letters and messengers to his Highness and Council, who were
for the most part against his going, both to the Queen his mother, and
his going to France, for reasons of state, but the Queen having an
excellent solicitor in the Lord Colepeper, it was resolved by his
Highness to go: upon which Lord Capell, Lord Hopton, and the
Chancellor staid at Jersey, and with them my husband, whose employment
ceased when his master went out of his father's kingdom;--not that
your father sided with either party of the Council, but having no
inclination at that time to go to the Court, and because his brother,
Lord Fanshawe, was desperately sick at Caen, he intended to stay some
time with him. About the beginning of July, the Prince, accompanied
with the Earl of Bradford, a soldier of fortune, and Lord Colepeper,
and the Earl of Berkshire, and most of his servants, went to
Cotanville, and from thence to Paris, where he remained some little
time by his mother the Queen's council, and afterwards went into
Holland. Your father and I remained fifteen days in Jersey, and
resolved that he would remain with his brother in Caen, whilst he sent
me into England, whither my father was gone a month before, to see if
I could procure a sum of money. The beginning of August we took our
leave of the governor's family, and left our child with a nurse under
the care of the Lady Carteret; [Footnote: It was apparently this Lady,
of whom Pepys observes, 30th June, 1662. "Told my Lady Carteret, how
my Lady Fanshawe is fallen out with her only for speaking in behalf of
the French: which my Lady wonders at, they having been formerly like
sisters."--Diary, vol. i. p. 284.] and in four days we came to Caen,
and myself, sister, and maid went from Mr. Fanborne's house, where my
brother and all his family lodged, aboard a small merchantman that lay
in the river; and upon the 30th of August, I arrived in the Cowes,
near Southampton, to which place I went that night, and came to London
two days after. This was the first time I had taken a journey without
your father, and the first manage of business he ever put into my
hands, in which I thank God I had good success; for, lodging in Fleet
Street, at Mr. Eates, the Watchmaker, with my sister Boteler, I
procured by the means of Colonel Copley, a great Parliament-man, whose
wife had formerly been obliged to our family, a pass for your father
to come and compound for 300 pounds which was a part of my fortune,
but it was only a pretence, for your grandfather was obliged to
compound for it, and deliver it us free. And when your father was
come, he was very private in London; for he was in daily fears to be
imprisoned before he could raise money to go back again to his master,
who was not then in a condition to maintain him. Thus upon thorns he
stayed the October 1647. In the October before, 1646, my brother
Richard Harrison was born; and this year my sister Boteler married Sir
Philip Warwick, her second husband; for her first, Sir William
Boteler, was killed at Cropley-bridge, commanding a part of the King's
army: he was a most gallant, worthy, honest gentleman.

The 30th of July I was delivered of a son, called Henry, in lodgings
in Portugal-row, Lincoln's-inn-fields. This was a very sad time for us
all of the King's party, for by the folly, to give it no worse name,
of Sir John Berkeley, since Lord Berkeley, and Mr. John Ashburnham, of
the King's bedchamber, who were drawn in by the cursed crew of the
then standing army for the Parliament to persuade the King to leave
Hampton Court, to which they had then carried him, and to make his
escape, which design failing, as the plot was laid, he was tormented
and afterwards barbarously and shamefully murdered, as all the world
knows.

During his stay at Hampton Court, my husband was with him, to whom he
was pleased to talk much of his concerns, and give him there
credentials for Spain, with private instructions, and letters for his
service; but God for our sins disposed his Majesty's affairs
otherwise. I went three times to pay my duty to him, both as I was the
daughter of his servant, and wife of his servant. The last time I ever
saw him, when I took my leave, I could not refrain weeping: when he
had saluted me, I prayed to God to preserve his Majesty with long life
and happy years; he stroked me on the cheek, and said, 'Child, if God
pleaseth, it shall be so, but both you and I must submit to God's
will, and you know in what hands I am'; then turning to your father,
he said, 'Be sure, Dick, to tell my son all that I have said, and
deliver those letters to my wife; pray God bless her! I hope I shall
do well'; and taking him in his arms, said, 'Thou hast ever been an
honest man, and I hope God will bless thee, and make thee a happy
servant to my son, whom I have charged in my letter to continue his
love, and trust to you'; adding, 'I do promise you that if ever I am
restored to my dignity I will bountifully reward you both for your
service and sufferings.' Thus did we part from that glorious sun, that
within a few months after was murdered, to the grief of all Christians
that were not forsaken by God.

The October, as I told you, my husband and I went into France, by the
way of Portsmouth, where, walking by the sea side about a mile from
our lodgings, two ships of the Dutch, then in war with England, shot
bullets at us so near that we heard them whiz by us; at which I called
to my husband to make haste back, and began to run, but he altered not
his pace, saying, 'If we must be killed, it were as good to be killed
walking as running.' But, escaping, we embarked the next day; and that
journey fetched home our girl we had left in Jersey; and my husband
was forced to come out of France to Hamerton, in Huntingdonshire, to
my sister Bedell's, to the wedding of his nephew, the last Lord Thomas
Fanshawe, who then married the daughter of Ferrers: as I have said
before, she was a very great fortune, and a most excellent woman, and
brought up some time after her mother's death with my sister Bedell.

About two months after this, in June, I was delivered of a son on the
8th day, 1648. The latter end of July I went to London, leaving my
little boy Richard at nurse with his brother at Hartingfordbury. It
happened to be the very day after that the Lord Holland was taken
prisoner at St. Neot, and Lord Francis Villiers was killed; and as we
passed through the town, we saw Colonel Montague, afterwards Earl of
Sandwich, spoiling the town for the Parliament and himself. Coming to
London, I went to welcome the Marchioness of Ormond to town, that then
was come out of France, who received me with great kindness, as she
ever had done before, and told me she must love me for many reasons,
and one was, that we were both born in one chamber: when I left her,
she presented me with a ruby ring set with two diamonds, which she
prayed me to wear for her sake, and I have it to this day.

In the month of September my husband was commanded by the Prince to
wait on him in the Downs, where he was with a very considerable fleet;
but the fleet was divided, part being for the King, and part for the
Parliament. They were resolved to fight that day, which if they had,
would have been the most cruel fight that ever England knew; but God
by his will parted them by a storm, and afterwards it was said, Lord
Colepeper, and one Low, a surgeon, that was a reputed knave, so
ordered the business, that for money the fleet was betrayed to the
enemy. During this time my husband wrote me a letter, from on board
the Prince's ship, full of concern for me, believing they should
engage on great odds; but, if he should lose his life, advised me to
patience, and this with so much love and reason, that my heart melts
to this day when I think of it; but, God be praised, he was reserved
for better things.

In December [Footnote: This must be a mistake for NOVEMBER; for in
September he was on board the fleet in the Downs, and after passing
SIX WEEKS IN PARIS, he went to Calais with Lady Fanshawe on the 25th
of DECEMBER, 1649. The date of the year is also erroneous, as it is
evident from the context that it was 1648.] my husband went to Paris
on his master's business, and sent for me from London: I carried him
300 pounds of his money. During our stay at Paris, I was highly
obliged to the Queen-Mother of England. We passed away six weeks with
great delight in good company; my Lady Norton, that was governess to
the Lady Henrietta, Charles the First's youngest daughter, was very
kind. I had the honour of her company, both in my own lodging and in
the Palace Royal, where she attended her charge; likewise my Lady
Danby, and her daughter, my Lady Guilford, with many others of our
nation, both in the Court and out of it; amongst whom was Mr. Waller,
the poet, and his wife: they went with us to Calais, upon the 25th of
December, 1649. I, with my husband, kissed the Queen-Mother's hand,
who promised her favour, with much grace, to us both, and sent letters
to the King, then in Holland, by my husband. From her Majesty we
waited on the Princes, and afterwards took our leave of all that
Court.

When we came to Calais, we met the Earl of Strafford and Sir Kenelm
Digby, with some others of our countrymen. We were all feasted at the
Governor's of the castle, and much excellent discourse passed; but, as
was reason, most share was Sir Kenelm Digby's, who had enlarged
somewhat more in extraordinary stories than might be averred, and all
of them passed with great applause and wonder of the French then at
table; but the concluding one was, that barnacles, a bird in Jersey,
was first a shell-fish in appearance, and from that, sticking upon old
wood, became in time a bird. After some consideration, they
unanimously burst out into laughter, believing it altogether false;
and, to say the truth, it was the only thing true he had discoursed
with them: that was his infirmity, though otherwise a person of most
excellent parts, and a very fine-bred gentleman.

My husband thought it convenient to send me into England again, there
to try what sums I could raise, both for his subsistence abroad and
mine at home; and though nothing was so grievous to us both as
parting, yet the necessity both of the public and your father's
private affairs, obliged us often to yield to the trouble of absence,
as at this time. I took my leave with sad heart, and embarked myself
in a hoy for Dover, with Mrs. Waller and my sister Margaret Harrison,
and my little girl Nan; but a great storm arising, we had like to be
cast away, the vessel being half full of water, and we forced to land
at Deal, every one carried upon men's backs, and we up to the middle
in water, and very glad to escape so. About this time the Prince of
Orange was born. [Footnote: This is an error, as he was born on the
4th of November, 1650.]

My husband went from thence by Flanders into Holland to his master;
and, in February following, your father was sent into Ireland by the
King, there to receive such monies as Prince Rupert could raise by the
fleet he commanded of the King's; but a few months put an end to that
design, though it had a very good aspect in the beginning, which made
my husband send for me and the little family I had thither. We went by
Bristol very cheerfully towards my north star, that only had the power
to fix me; and because I had had the good fortune, as I then thought
it, to sell 300 pounds a year to him that is now Judge Archer, in
Essex, for which he gave me 4000 pounds, which at that time I thought
a vast sum; but be it more or less, I am sure it was spent in seven
years' time in the King's service, and to this hour I repent it not, I
thank God. Five hundred pounds I carried to my husband, the rest I
left in my father's agent's hands to be returned as we needed it.

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