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Books: The Works of John Bunyan Volume 1

J >> John Bunyan >> The Works of John Bunyan Volume 1

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316. 'And now for a wind up in this matter, I calling not only
men, but angels, to prove me guilty of having carnally to do with
any woman save my wife, nor am I afraid to do it a second time,
knowing that I cannot offend the Lord in such a case, to call God
for a record upon my soul, that in these things I am innocent.
Not that I have been thus kept, because of any goodness in me more
than any other, but God has been merciful to me, and has kept me;
to whom I pray that he will keep me still, not only from this,
but from every evil way and work, and preserve me to his heavenly
kingdom. Amen.'

317. 'Now as Satan laboured by reproaches and slanders, to make me
vile among my countrymen, that if possible, my preaching might be
made of none effect, so there was added hereto a long and tedious
imprisonment, that thereby I might be frighted from my service for
Christ, and the world terrified, and made afraid to hear me preach,
of which I shall in the next place give you a brief account.'

[A BRIEF ACCOUNT OF THE AUTHOR'S IMPRISONMENT]

318. Having made profession of the glorious gospel of Christ a long
time, and preached the same about five years, I was apprehended at
a meeting of good people in the country, among whom, had they let
me alone, I should have preached that day, but they took me away
from amongst them, and had me before a justice; who, after I had
offered security for my appearing at the next sessions, yet committed
me, because my sureties would not consent to be bound that I should
preach no more to the people.

319. At the sessions after, I was indicted for an upholder and
maintainer of unlawful assemblies and conventicles, and for not
conforming to the national worship of the Church of England; and
after some conference there with the justices, 'they taking my
plain dealing with them for a confession, as they termed it, of
the indictment,' did sentence me to perpetual banishment, because
I refused to conform. So being again delivered up to the jailer's
hands, I was had home to prison again, and there have lain now[70]
'complete twelve years,' waiting to see what God would suffer these
men to do with me.

320. In which condition I have continued with much content, through
grace, but have met with many turnings and goings upon my heart,
both from the Lord, Satan, and my own corruptions; by all which,
glory be to Jesus Christ, I have also received among many things,
much conviction, instruction, and understanding, of which at large
I shall not here discourse; only give you in a hint or two, a word
that may stir up the godly to bless God, and to pray for me; and
also to take encouragement, should the case be their own, not to
fear what man can do unto them.

321. I never had in all my life so great an inlet into the Word
of God as now; those Scriptures that I saw nothing in before, are
made in this place and state to shine upon me; Jesus Christ also
was never more real and apparent than now; here I have seen him
and felt him indeed: O that word, We have not preached unto you
cunningly devised fables (2 Peter 1:16); and that, God raised Christ
from the dead, and gave him glory, that your faith and hope might
be in God (1 Peter 1:2), were blessed words unto me in this my
imprisoned condition.

322. These three or four scriptures also have been great refreshment
in this condition to me (John 14:1-4, 16:33; Col 3:3,4; Heb 12:22-24).
So that sometimes when I have been in the savour of them, I have
been able to laugh at destruction, and to fear neither the horse nor
his rider (Job 39:18). I have had sweet sights of the forgiveness
of my sins in this place, and of my being with Jesus in another
world: O, "the mount Zion, the heavenly Jerusalem, the innumerable
company of angels, and God the judge of all, and the spirits
of just men made perfect, and to Jesus" (Heb 12:22-24), have been
sweet unto me in this place: I have seen THAT here, that I am
persuaded I shall never, while in this world, be able to express;
I have seen a truth in that scripture, "Whom having not seen, ye
love; in whom, though now ye se him not, yet believing, ye rejoice
with joy unspeakable and full of glory" (1 Peter 1:8).[71]

323. I never knew what it was for God to stand by me at all turns,
and at every offer of Satan 'to afflict me,' &c., as I have found
him since I came in hither; for look how fears have presented
themselves, so have supports and encouragements, yea, when I have
started, even as it were at nothing else but my shadow, yet God,
as being very tender of me, hath not suffered me to be molested,
but would with one scripture and another strengthen me against all;
insomuch that I have often said, Were it lawful, I could pray for
greater trouble, for the greater comfort's sake (Eccl 7:14; 2 Cor
1:5).

324. Before I came to prison, I saw what was a-coming, and had
especially two considerations warm upon my heart; the first was how
to be able to endure, should my imprisonment be long and tedious;
the second was how to be able to encounter death, should that be here
my portion; for the first of these, that scripture (Col 1:11) was
great information to me, namely, to pray to God to be "strengthened
with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience
and long-suffering with joyfulness." I could seldom go to prayer
before I was imprisoned, but not for so little as a year together,
this sentence, or sweet petition, would, as it were, thrust itself
into my mind, and persuade me, that if ever I would go through
long-suffering, I must have all patience, especially if I would
endure it joyfully.

325. As to the second consideration, that saying (2 Cor 1:9), was
of great use to me, But we had the sentence of death in ourselves,
that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the
dead. By this scripture I was made to see, that if ever I would
suffer rightly, I must first pass a sentence of death upon everything
that can properly be called a thing of this life, even to reckon
myself, my wife, my children, my health, my enjoyments, and all,
as dead to me, and myself as dead to them. "He that loveth father
or mother, son or daughter, more than me, is not worthy of me"
(Matt 10:37).

326. The second was, to live upon God that is invisible; as Paul
said in another place, the way not to faint, is to "look not at
the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen:
for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which
are not seen are eternal" (2 Cor 4:18). And thus I reasoned with
myself; if I provide only for a prison, then the whip comes at
unawares; and so does also the pillory; again, if I provide only
for these, then I am not fit for banishment; further, if I conclude
that banishment is the worst, then if death come I am surprised.
So that I see the best way to go through sufferings is to trust in
God through Christ, as touching the world to come; and as touching
this world, to count "the grave my house, to make my bed in darkness,
and to say to corruption, Thou art my father, and to the worm, Thou
art my mother and my sister." That is, to familiarize these things
to me.[72]

327. But notwithstanding these helps, I found myself a man,
and compassed with infirmities; the parting with my wife and poor
children hath oft been to me in this place as the pulling the
flesh from my bones, and that not only because I am somewhat too
too fond of those great mercies, but also because I should have
often brought to my mind the many hardships, miseries and wants
that my poor family was like to meet with, should I be taken from
them, especially my poor blind child, who lay nearer my heart than
all I had besides; O the thoughts of the hardship I thought my
blind one might go under, would break my heart to pieces.

328. Poor child, thought I, what sorrow art thou like to have for
thy portion in this world? Thou must be beaten, must beg, suffer
hunger, cold, nakedness, and a thousand calamities, though I cannot
now endure the wind should blow upon thee. But yet recalling myself,
thought I, I must venture you all with God, though it goeth to the
quick to leave you. O, I saw in this condition I was as a man who
was pulling down his house upon the head of his wife and children;
yet thought I, I must do it, I must do it. And now I thought on
those two milch kine that were to carry the ark of God into another
country, and to leave their calves behind them (1 Sam 6:10-12).

329. But that which helped me in this temptation was divers
considerations, of which three in special here I will name; the
first was the consideration of those two scriptures, "Leave thy
fatherless children, I will preserve them alive, and let thy widows
trust in me." And again, "The Lord said, Verily it shall be well
with thy remnant; verily I will cause the enemy to entreat thee
well in the time of evil," &c. (Jer 49:11, 15:11).

330. I had also this consideration, that if I should now venture
all for God, I engaged God to take care of my concernments; but
if I forsook him and his ways, for fear of any trouble that should
come to me or mine, then I should not only falsify my profession,
but should count also that my concernments were not so sure,
if left at God's feet, while I stood to and for his name, as they
would be, if they were under my own tuition,[73] though with the
denial of the way of God. This was a smarting consideration, and
was as spurs unto my flesh. That scripture also greatly helped it
to fasten the more upon me, where Christ prays against Judas, that
God would disappoint him in all his selfish thoughts, which moved
him to sell his master: pray read it soberly (Psa 109:6-20).

331. I had also another consideration, and that was, the dread of
the torments of hell, which I was sure they must partake of, that
for fear of the cross, do shrink from their profession of Christ,
his words, and laws, before the sons of men; I thought also of the
glory that he had prepared for those that, in faith, and love, and
patience, stood to his ways before them. These things, I say, have
helped me, when the thoughts of the misery that both myself and
mine, might for the sake of my profession be exposed to, hath lain
pinching on my mine.

332. When I have indeed conceited that I might be banished for
my profession, then I have thought of that scripture, "They were
stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the
sword; they wandered about in sheep skins and goat skins; being
destitute, afflicted, tormented, of whom the world was not worthy"
(Heb 11:37), for all they thought they were too bad to dwell and
abide amongst them. I have also thought of that saying, "The Holy
Ghost witnesseth in every city, that bonds and afflictions abide
me." I have verily thought that my soul and it[74] have sometimes
reasoned about the sore and sad estate of a banished and exiled
condition, how they are exposed to hunger, to cold, to perils, to
nakedness, to enemies, and a thousand calamities; and at last, it
may be, to die in a ditch, like a poor forlorn and desolate sheep.
But I thank God, hitherto I have not been moved by these most
delicate reasonings, but have rather, by them, more approved my
heart to God.

333. I will tell you a pretty business; I was once above all the
rest in a very sad and low condition for many weeks; at which time
also I being but a young prisoner, and not acquainted with the
laws, had this lay much upon my spirit, That my imprisonment might
end at the gallows for aught that I could tell. Now, therefore,
Satan laid hard at me to beat me out of heart, by suggesting thus
unto me, But how if when you come indeed to die, you should be in
this condition; that is, as not to savour the things of God, nor
to have any evidence upon your soul for a better state hereafter?
For indeed at that time all the things of God were hid from my
soul.

334. Wherefore, when I at first began to think of this, it was a great
trouble to me; for I thought with myself, that in the condition I
now was in, I was not fit to die, neither indeed did think I could,
if I should be called to it: besides, I thought with myself, if I
should make a scrabbling[75] shift to clamber up the ladder, yet
I should either with quaking, or other symptoms of faintings, give
occasion to the enemy to reproach the way of God and his people, for
their timorousness. This therefore lay with great trouble upon me,
for methought I was ashamed to die with a pale face, and tottering
knees, for such a cause as this.

335. Wherefore, I prayed to God that he would comfort me, and give
me strength to do and suffer what he should call me to; yet no
comfort appeared, but all continued hid: I was also at this time
so really possessed with the thought of death, that oft I was as if
I was on the ladder with a rope about my neck; only this was some
encouragement to me, I thought I might now have an opportunity
to speak my last words to a multitude, which I thought would come
to see me die; and, thought I, if it must be so, if God will but
convert one soul by my very last words, I shall not count my life
thrown away, nor lost.

336. But yet all the things of God were kept out of my sight, and
still the tempter followed me with, But whither must you go when you
die? What will become of you? Where will you be found in another
world? What evidence have you for heaven and glory, and an inheritance
among them that are sanctified? Thus was I tossed for many weeks,
and knew not what to do; at last this consideration fell with
weight upon me, That it was for the Word and way of God, that I was
in this condition, wherefore I was engaged not to flinch a hair's
breadth from it.

337. I thought also, that God might choose, whether he would give
me comfort now or at the hour of death, but I might not therefore
choose whether I would hold my profession or no: I was bound, but
he was free: yea, it was my duty to stand to his word, whether he
would ever look upon me or no, or save me at the last: wherefore,
thought I, the point being thus, I am for going on, and venturing
my eternal state with Christ, whether I have comfort here or no;
if God doth not come in, thought I, I will leap off the ladder even
blindfold into eternity, sink or swim, come heaven, come hell, Lord
Jesus, if thou wilt catch me, do; 'if not,' I will venture for thy
name.

338. I was no sooner fixed upon this resolution, but that word dropped
upon me, "Doth Job serve God for nought?" As if the accuser had
said, Lord, Job is no upright man, he serves thee for by-respects:
hast thou not made a hedge about him, &c. "But put forth thine
hand now, and touch all that he hath, and he will curse thee to
thy face." How now, thought I, is this the sign of an upright soul,
to desire to serve God, when all is taken from him? Is he a godly
man, that will serve God for nothing rather than give out? blessed
be God, then, I hope I have an upright heart, for I am resolved,
God giving me strength, never to deny my profession, though I have
nothing at all for my pains; and as I was thus considering, that
scripture was set before me (Psa 44:12-26).[76]

339. Now was my heart full of comfort, for I hoped it was sincere:
I would not have been without this trial for much; I am comforted
every time I think of it, and I hope I shall bless God for ever
for the teaching I have had by it. Many more of the dealings of
God towards me I might relate, but these, "Out of the spoils won
in battles have I dedicated to maintain the house of the LORD" (1
Chron 26:27).

THE CONCLUSION.

1. Of all the temptations that ever I met with in my life, to
question the being 'of God,' and truth of his gospel, is the worst,
and the worst to be borne; when this temptation comes, it takes
away my girdle from me, and removeth the foundation from under me:
O, I have often thought of that word, "have your loins girt about
with truth"; and of that, "When the foundations are destroyed, what
can the righteous do?"

2. 'Sometimes, when, after sin committed, I have looked for sore
chastisement from the hand of God, the very next that I have had
from him hath been the discovery of his grace. Sometimes, when I
have been comforted, I have called myself a fool for my so sinking
under trouble. And then, again, when I have been cast down,
I thought I was not wise, to give such way to comfort. With such
strength and weight have both these been upon me.'

3. I have wondered much at this one thing, that though God doth
visit my soul with never so blessed a discovery of himself, yet I
have found again, that such hours have attended me afterwards, that
I have been in my spirits so filled with darkness, that I could not
so much as once conceive what that God and that comfort was with
which I have been refreshed.

4. I have sometimes seen more in a line of the Bible than I could
well tell how to stand under, and yet at another time the whole
Bible hath been to me as dry as a stick; or rather, my heart hath
been so dead and dry unto it, that I could not conceive the least
drachm of refreshment, though I have looked it 'all' over.

5. Of all tears, they are the best that are made by the blood of
Christ; and of all joy, that is the sweetest that is mixed with
mourning over Christ. Oh! it is a goodly thing to be on our knees,
with Christ in our arms, before God. I hope I know something of
these things.

6. I find to this day seven abominations in my heart: 1. Inclinings
to unbelief. 2. Suddenly to forget the love and mercy that Christ
manifesteth. 3. A leaning to the works of the law. 4. Wanderings
and coldness in prayer. 5. To forget to watch for that I pray for.
6. Apt to murmur because I have no more, and yet ready to abuse
what I have. 7. I can do none of those things which God commands
me, but my corruptions will thrust in themselves, "when I would do
good, evil is present with me."

7. These things I continually see and feel, and am afflicted and
oppressed with; yet the wisdom of God doth order them for my good.
1. They make me abhor myself. 2. They keep me from trusting my
heart. 3. They convince me of the insufficiency of all inherent
righteousness. 4. They show me the necessity of flying to Jesus.
5. They press me to pray unto God. 6. They show me the need I have
to watch and be sober. 7. And provoke me to look to God, through
Christ, to help me, and carry me through this world. Amen.


FOOTNOTES:

1. Dr. Cheever.

2. Leicester was only besieged by the royal army, who took it, and
cruelly treated the inhabitants; upon the republicans appearing
before it, the city surrendered at once without a siege.--Ed.

3. This should be the prayer and effort of every Christian for his
brethren and sisters in Christ, and more especially of those who
are called to the public ministry.--Ed.

4. The people of God look back on the day of their espousals with
holy joy and thanksgiving to the God of their mercies; and they
delight in telling his goodness to others. "Come and hear, all ye
that fear God, and I will declare what he hath done for my soul"
(Psa 66:16).--Mason.

5. How unspeakable the mercy that our omnipresent God will hear
the prayer of the heart under all circumstances, at all times, in
all places. Had he limited it to certain forms, in certain buildings,
read by certain men, what fearful merchandise of souls they would
have made.--Ed.

6. Bunyan says very little about his parents in his treatise on
'Christian Behaviour'; he concludes his observations on the duties
of a pious son to ungodly parents with this remarkable prayer, 'The
Lord, if it be his will, convert OUR poor parents, that they, with
us, may be the children of God.' Although this does not demonstrate
that his own parents were ungodly, yet his silence as to their piety
upon all occasions when speaking of them, and the fervent feeling
expressed in this short prayer, inclines me to conclude that they
were not pious persons in his judgment.--Ed.

7. Mr. Bunyan alludes to the poverty of his education in several
of his works. Thus, in his Scriptural poems--


'I am no poet, nor a poet's son
But a mechanic, guided by no rule
But what I gained in a grammar school,
In my minority.'


And in the preface to 'The Law and Grace': 'Reader, if thou do find
this book empty of fantastical expressions, and without light, vain,
whimsical, scholar-like terms; thou must understand, it is because
I never went to school to Aristotle or Plato, but was brought up
at my father's house, in a very mean condition, among a company of
poor countrymen.'--Ed.

8. 'I have been vile myself, but have obtained mercy; and I would
have my companions in sin partake of mercy too.'--Preface to
Jerusalem Sinner Saved.--Ed.

9. Every careless sinner, or wicked professor, carries upon his
forehead the name of Infidel and Atheist, a practical unbeliever in
the Bible, in the day of judgment, and in the existence of a holy
God.--Ed.

10. Bunyan served in the wars between Charles I and his country,
but it is not known on which side. Judging from his 'delight in all
transgressions against the law of God,' as he describes his conduct
to have been at that time, he must have served on the king's side,
as one of his drunken cavaliers. Probably this event took place
when Leicester was besieged by the king's troops.--Ed.

11. The notice of his wife's father being a godly man, and not
mentioning anything of the kind with regard to his own parents,
strengthens my conclusion that they were not professors of religion.
This very copy of the Pathway to Heaven here noticed, with the name
of Bunyan on the title, is in the Editor's possession.--Ed.

12. Asking his father this question, looks a little as if the family
had been connected with the gipsy tribe.--Ed.

13. 'The king (James, 1618) put forth an order to permit everybody,
as he had before given leave in the county of Lancaster, who should
go to evening prayer on the Lord's day, to divertise themselves
with lawful exercises, with leaping, dancing, playing at bowls,
shooting with bows and arrows, as likewise to rear May poles, and
to use May games and Morris dancing; but those who refused coming
to prayers were forbidden to use these sports.'--(Camden's Annals).
The head of the Church of England had wondrous power thus to dispense
with God's laws.--Ed.

14. 'Did cut the sinews,' first edition; properly altered by Bunyan
afterwards to 'did benumb.'

15. Tip cat, or cat, is an ancient English game, thus described
in Strutt's Sports and Pastimes:--The game of cat is played with
a cudgel. Its denomination is derived from a piece of wood, about
six inches long and two thick, diminished from the middle to form
a double cone. When the cat is placed on the ground, the player
strikes it smartly--it matters not at which end--and it will rise
with a rotatory motion high enough for him to strike it; if he
misses, another player takes his place; if he hits, he calls for
a number to be scored to his game; if that number is more than as
many lengths of his cudgel, he is out; if not, they are scored,
and he plays again.--Ed.

16. This wish looks as if Bunyan's father had not checked him for
this wicked propensity; if so, he could not have pretended to piety
or religion.--Ed.

17. 'Tom of Bedlam'; a byword for an inveterate drunkard, alluding
to an old interesting song describing the feelings of a poor maniac
whose frenzy had been induced by intoxication, and who escaped from
Bedlam.


'Poore naked Tom is very drye
A little drinke for charitye!'


It ends with this verse--


'The man in the moone drinkes claret,
Eates powder'd beef, turnip, and carret,
But a cup of old Malaga sacke
Will fire the bushe at his backe.'


Probably the tale is connected with the drummer's tune, 'Drunk or
sober, go to bed Tom.'--Ed.

18. When the Lord, in his blessed work upon the soul, illuminated
the mind, he opens to it a new world; he leads the blind by a way
that they know not, crooked things become straight, rough places
plain, and he never forsakes his charge.--Mason.

19. 'Their talk went with me; my heart would tarry with them';
nothing is so powerfully attractive as a community of feeling
under the teaching of the Holy Spirit. Bunyan's wish to be 'tried
and searched,' reminds me of one who, when alarmed for his soul's
safety, earnestly prayed that he might be made increasingly wretched,
until he had found safety in Jesus, and knew him, whom to know is
joy unspeakable in this life, and felicity in the eternal world.--Ed.

20. That bitter fanatic, Ross, calls the ranters 'a sort of beasts,'
who practiced sin that grace might abound. Many under that name were
openly profligate; they denied the sacraments, but were disowned
by the Quakers. It seems, from Bunyan, that they were infatuated
with some idea that the grossest sins of the flesh did not injure
the sanctity of the spirit!--Ed.

21. Faith comes by venturing wholly on Christ, as he is freely
offered in the Word--mercy to the miserable--salvation to the lost
and self-condemned. If we honour God's veracity by giving credit
to his Word, he will honour that faith by giving us joy and peace
in believing.--Mason.

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