A. A. Milne - "Not that it Matters"

Lucian of Samosata - "Works, V3"

Richard Harding Davis - "Ranson's Folly"

Walter Scott - "Ivanhoe"

New Philadelphia Book Publisher Highlights Local Talent
Book and Publishing News from Publishers Newswire(tm)

Looking for Child to be on Cover of a New Book, 'The Model Child'
PHILADELPHIA, Pa. -- The Philadelphia literary world will celebrate the launch of two new players today, April 10th: Kay Square Press, a new publishing company focused on Philadelphia-area artists, their stories, and their art; and Kay Square's first release, 'With the Rich and Mighty: Emlen Etting of Philadelphia' (ISBN: 978-0-9815129-0-7), a critical biography by Kenneth C. Kaleta.

FlatSigned Press Alleges Don Imus Remarks Damage Legacy of President Gerald R. Ford
NEW YORK, N.Y. -- Nathan Yungerberg, an accomplished model scout and professional child photographer is launching a nation-wide casting call to find the cover model for his highly anticipated book release, 'The Model Child: A Parents Guide to the Child Modeling Industry' (ISBN: 978-0-9817018-0-6).

Books: The Works of John Bunyan Volume 1

J >> John Bunyan >> The Works of John Bunyan Volume 1




165. I feared also that this was the mark that the Lord did set on
Cain, even continual fear and trembling, under the heavy load of
guilt that he had charged on him for the blood of his brother Abel.
Thus did I wind, and twine, and shrink, under the burden that was
upon me; which burden also did so oppress me, that I could neither
stand, nor go, nor lie, either at rest or quiet.

166. Yet that saying would sometimes come to my mind, He hath
received gifts for the rebellious (Psa 68:18). "The rebellious,"
thought I; why, surely they are such as once were under subjection
to their prince, even those who, after they have sworn subjection
to his government, have taken up arms against him; 'and this, thought
I, is my very condition; once I loved him, feared him, served him;
but now I am a rebel; I have sold him, I have said, Let him go if
he will; but yet he has gifts for rebels, and then why not for me?'

167. This sometimes I thought on, and should labour to take
hold thereof, that some, though small, refreshment might have been
conceived by me; but in this also I missed of my desire, I was driven
with force beyond it, 'I was' like a man that is going to the place
of execution, even by that place where he would fain creep in and
hide himself, but may not.

168. Again, after I had thus considered the sins of the saints in
particular, and found mine went beyond them, then I began to think
thus with myself: Set the case I should put all theirs together, and
mine alone against them, might I not then find some encouragement?
For if mine, though bigger than any one, yet should but be equal
to all, then there is hopes; for that blood that hath virtue enough
'in it' to wash away all theirs, hath also virtue enough in it to
do away mine, though this one be full as big, if no bigger, than
all theirs. Here, again, I should consider the sin of David, of
Solomon, of Manasseh, of Peter, and the rest of the great offenders;
and should also labour, what I might with fairness, to aggravate
and heighten their sins by several circumstances: but, alas! It
was all in vain.[39]

169. 'I should think with myself that David shed blood to cover his
adultery, and that by the sword of the children of Ammon; a work
that could not be done but by continuance and deliberate contrivance,
which was a great aggravation to his sin. But then this would turn
upon me: Ah! but these were but sins against the law, from which
there was a Jesus sent to save them; but yours is a sin against
the Saviour, and who shall save you from that?'

170. 'Then I thought on Solomon, and how he sinned in loving strange
women, in falling away to their idols, in building them temples, in
doing this after light, in his old age, after great mercy received;
but the same conclusion that cut me off in the former consideration,
cut me off as to this; namely, that all those were but sins against
the law, for which God had provided a remedy; but I had sold my
Saviour, and there now remained no more sacrifice for sin.'

171. 'I would then add to those men's sins, the sins of Manasseh,
how that he built altars for idols in the house of the Lord; he
also observed times, used enchantment, had to do with wizards, was
a wizard, had his familiar spirits, burned his children in the fire
in sacrifice to devils, and made the streets of Jerusalem run down
with the blood of innocents. These, thought I, are great sins,
sins of a bloody colour; yea, it would turn again upon me: They are
none of them of the nature of yours; you have parted with Jesus,
you have sold your Saviour.'

172. This one consideration would always kill my heart, My sin was
point blank against my Saviour; and that too, at that height, that
I had in my heart said of him, Let him go if he will. Oh! methought,
this sin was bigger than the sins of a country, of a kingdom, or
of the whole world, no one pardonable, nor all of them together,
was able to equal mine; mine outwent them every one.

173. Now I should find my mind to flee from God, as from the face
of a dreadful judge; yet this was my torment, I could not escape his
hand: "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living
God" (Heb 10:31). But blessed be his grace, that scripture, in these
flying sins,[40] would call as running after me, "I have blotted
out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions; and, as a cloud, thy
sins: return unto me, for I have redeemed thee" (Isa 44:22). This,
I say, would come in upon my mind, when I was fleeing from the face
of God; for I did flee from his face, that is, my mind and spirit
fled before him; by reason of his highness, I could not endure;
then would the text cry, "Return unto me"; it would cry aloud with
a very great voice, "Return unto me, for I have redeemed thee."
Indeed, this would make me make a little stop, and, as it were,
look over my shoulder behind me, to see if I could discern that the
God of grace did follow me with a pardon in his hand, but I could
no sooner do that, but all would be clouded and darkened again by
that sentence, "For you know how that afterwards, when he would
have inherited the blessing, he found no place of repentance, though
he sought it carefully with tears." Wherefore I could not return,
but fled, though at sometimes it cried, "Return, return," as if
it did holloa after me. But I feared to close in therewith, lest
it should not come from God; for that other, as I said, was still
sounding in my conscience, "For you know how that afterwards, when
he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected," &c.

174. 'Once as I was walking to and fro in a good man's shop,
bemoaning of myself in my sad and doleful state, afflicting myself
with self-abhorrence for this wicked and ungodly thought; lamenting,
also, this hard hap of mine, for that I should commit so great a
sin, greatly fearing I should not be pardoned; praying, also, in
my heart, that if this sin of mine did differ from that against
the Holy Ghost, the Lord would show it me. And being now ready to
sink with fear, suddenly there was, as if there had rushed in at
the window, the noise of wind upon me, but very pleasant, and as
if I heard a voice speaking, Didst ever refuse to be justified by
the blood of Christ? And, withal my whole life and profession past
was, in a moment, opened to me, wherein I was made to see that
designedly I had not; so my heart answered groaningly, No. then
fell, with power, that word of God upon me, "See that ye refuse not
him that speaketh" (Heb 12:25). This made a strange seizure upon
my spirit; it brought light with it, and commanded a silence in my
heart of all those tumultuous thoughts that before did use, like
masterless hell-hounds, to roar and bellow, and make a hideous
noise within me. It showed me, also, that Jesus Christ had yet a
word of grace and mercy for me, that he had not, as I had feared,
quite forsaken and cast off my soul; yea, this was a kind of a
chide for my proneness to desperation; a kind of a threatening me
if I did not, notwithstanding my sins and the heinousness of them,
venture my salvation upon the Son of God. But as to my determining
about this strange dispensation, what it was I knew not; or from
whence it came I know not. I have not yet, in twenty years' time,
been able to make a judgment of it; I thought then what here I
shall be loath to speak. But verily, that sudden rushing wind was
as if an angel had come upon me; but both it and the salvation I
will leave until the day of judgment; only this I say, it commanded
a great calm in my soul, it persuaded me there might be hope; it
showed me, as I thought, what the sin unpardonable was, and that
my soul had yet the blessed privilege to flee to Jesus Christ for
mercy. But, I say, concerning this dispensation, I know not what
yet to say unto it; which was, also, in truth, the cause that, at
first, I did not speak of it in the book; I do now, also, leave it
to be thought on by men of sound judgment. I lay not the stress of
my salvation thereupon, but upon the Lord Jesus, in the promise;
yet, seeing I am here unfolding of my secret things, I thought it
might not be altogether inexpedient to let this also show itself,
though I cannot now relate the matter as there I did experience
it. This lasted, in the savour of it, for about three or four days,
and the I began to mistrust and to despair again.'[41]

175. 'Wherefore, still my life hung in doubt before me, not knowing
which way I should tip; only this I found my soul desire, even to
cast itself at the foot of grace, by prayer and supplication. But,
oh! it was hard for me now to bear the face to pray to this Christ
for mercy, against whom I had thus most vilely sinned; it was hard
work, I say, to offer to look him in the face against whom I had
so vilely sinned; and, indeed, I have found it as difficult to come
to God by prayer, after backsliding from him, as to do any other
thing. Oh, the shame that did now attend me! especially when I thought
I am now a-going to pray to him for mercy that I had so lightly
esteemed but a while before! I was ashamed, yea, even confounded,
because this villany had been committed by me; but I saw there was
but one way with me, I must go to him and humble myself unto him,
and beg that he, of his wonderful mercy, would show pity to me,
and have mercy upon my wretched sinful soul.'

176. 'Which, when the tempter perceived, he strongly suggested to
me, That I ought not to pray to God; for prayer was not for any in
my case, neither could it do me good, because I had rejected the
Mediator, by whom all prayer came with acceptance to God the Father,
and without whom no prayer could come into his presence. Wherefore,
now to pray is but to add sin to sin; yea, now to pray, seeing God
has cast you off, is the next way to anger and offend him more than
you ever did before.'

177. 'For God, saith he, hath been weary of you for these several
years already, because you are none of his; your bawlings in his
ears hath been no pleasant voice to him; and, therefore, he let you
sin this sin, that you might be quite cut off; and will you pray
still? This the devil urged, and set forth that, in Numbers, when
Moses said to the children of Israel, That because they would not
go up to posses the land when God would have them, therefore, for
ever after, God did bar them out from thence, though they prayed
they might, with tears (Num 14:36,37), &c.'

178. 'As it is said in another place (Exo 21:14), the man that sins
presumptuously shall be taken from God's altar, that he may die;
even as Joab was by King Solomon, when he thought to find shelter
there (1 Kings 2:28), &c. These places did pinch me very sore; yet,
my case being desperate, I thought with myself I can but die; and
if it must be so, it shall once be said, that such an one died
at the foot of Christ in prayer.[42] This I did, but with great
difficulty, God doth know; and that because, together with this,
still that saying about Esau would be set at my heart, even like a
flaming sword, to keep the way of the tree of life, lest I should
taste thereof and live. Oh! who knows how hard a thing I found it
to come to God in prayer.'

179. 'I did also desire the prayers of the people of God for
me, but I feared that God would give them no heart to do it; yea,
I trembled in my soul to think that some or other of them would
shortly tell me, that God had said those words to them that he once
did say to the prophet concerning the children of Israel, "Pray
not thou for this people," for I have rejected them (Jer 11:14).
So, pray not for him, for I have rejected him. Yea, I thought that
he had whispered this to some of them already, only they durst not
tell me so, neither durst I ask them of it, for fear, if it should
be so, it would make me quite besides myself. Man knows the beginning
of sin, said Spira, but who bounds the issues thereof?'

180. About this time I took an opportunity to break my mind to
an ancient Christian, and told him all my case; I told him, also,
that I was afraid that I had sinned the sin against the Holy Ghost;
and he told me he thought so too. Here, therefore, I had but cold
comfort; but, talking a little more with him, I found him, though
a good man, a stranger to much combat with the devil. Wherefore,
I went to God again, as well as I could, for mercy still.

181. Now, also, did the tempter begin to mock me in my misery,
saying, that, seeing I had thus parted with the Lord Jesus, and
provoked him to displeasure, who would have stood between my soul
and the flame of devouring fire, there was now but one way, and
that was, to pray that God the Father would be the Mediator betwixt
his Son and me, that we might be reconciled again, and that I might
have that blessed benefit in him that his blessed saints enjoyed.

182. Then did that scripture seize upon my soul, He is of one mind,
and who can turn him? Oh! I saw it was as easy to persuade him to
make a new world, a new covenant, or new Bible, besides that we
have already, as to pray for such a thing. This was to persuade him
that what he had done already was mere folly, and persuade with him
to alter, yea, to disannul, the whole way of salvation; and then
would that saying rend my soul asunder, "Neither is there salvation
in any other: for there is none other name under heaven, given
among men, whereby we must be saved" (Acts 4:12).

183. 'Now, the most free, and full, and gracious words of the
gospel were the greatest torment to me; yea, nothing so afflicted
me as the thoughts of Jesus Christ, the remembrance of a Saviour;
because I had cast him off, brought forth the villany of my sin,
and my loss by it to mind; nothing did twinge my conscience like
this. Every time that I thought of the Lord Jesus, of his grace,
love, goodness, kindness, gentleness, meekness, death, blood,
promises and blessed exhortations, comforts and consolations, it
went to my soul like a sword; for still, unto these my considerations
of the Lord Jesus, these thoughts would make place for themselves
in my heart; aye, this is the Jesus, the loving Saviour, the Son
of God, whom thou hast parted with, whom you slighted, despised,
and abused. This is the only Saviour, the only Redeemer, the only
one that could so love sinners as to wash them from their sins in
his own most precious blood; but you have no part nor lot in this
Jesus, you have put him from you, you have said in your heart, Let
him go if he will. Now, therefore, you are severed from him; you
have severed yourself from him. Behold, then, his goodness, but
yourself to be no partaker of it. Oh, thought I, what have I lost!
What have I parted with! What have I disinherited my poor soul of!
Oh! it is sad to be destroyed by the grace and mercy of God; to
have the Lamb, the Saviour, turn lion and destroyer (Rev 6).[43] I
also trembled, as I have said, at the sight of the saints of God,
especially at those that greatly loved him, and that made it their
business to walk continually with him in this world; for they did,
both in their words, their carriages, and all their expressions of
tenderness and fear to sin against their precious Saviour, condemn,
lay guilt upon, and also add continual affliction and shame unto
my soul. The dread of them was upon me, and I trembled at God's
Samuels (1 Sam 16:4).'

184. Now, also, the tempter began afresh to mock my soul another
way, saying that Christ, indeed, did pity my case, and was sorry
for my loss; but forasmuch as I had sinned and transgressed, as
I had done, he could by no means help me, nor save me from what I
feared; for my sin was not of the nature of theirs for whom he bled
and died, neither was it counted with those that were laid to his
charge when he hanged on the tree. Therefore, unless he should come
down from heaven and die anew for this sin, though, indeed, he did
greatly pity me, yet I could have no benefit of him. These things
may seem ridiculous to others, even as ridiculous as they were in
themselves, but to me they were most tormenting cogitations; every
of them augmented my misery, that Jesus Christ should have so much
love as to pity me when he could not help me; nor did I think that
the reason why he could not help me was because his merits were
weak, or his grace and salvation spent on them already, but because
his faithfulness to his threatening would not let him extend his
mercy to me. Besides, I thought, as I have already hinted, that my
sin was not within the bounds of that pardon that was wrapped up
in a promise; and if not, then I knew assuredly, that it was more
easy for heaven and earth to pass away than for me to have eternal
life. So that the ground of all these fears of mine did arise from
a steadfast belief that I had of the stability of the holy Word of
God, and also, from my being misinformed of the nature of my sin.

185. But, oh! how this would add to my affliction, to conceit that
I should be guilty of such a sin for which he did not die. These
thoughts would so confound me, and imprison me, and tie me up from
faith, that I knew not what to do; but, oh! thought I, that he
would come down again! Oh! that the work of man's redemption was
yet to be done by Christ! How would I pray him and entreat him to
count and reckon this sin amongst the rest for which he died! But
this scripture would strike me down as dead, "Christ being raised
from the death dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him"
(Rom 6:9).[44]

186. Thus, by the strange and unusual assaults of the tempter, was
my soul, like a broken vessel, driven as with the winds, and tossed
sometimes headlong into despair, sometimes upon the covenant of
works, and sometimes to wish that the new covenant, and the conditions
thereof, might, so far forth as I thought myself concerned, be turned
another way and changed. But in all these I was but as those that
justle against the rocks; more broken, scattered, and rent. Oh,
the unthought of imaginations, frights, fears, and terrors that are
affected by a thorough application of guilt, yielded to desperation!
This is the man that hath "his dwelling among the tombs" with the
dead; that is, always crying out and "cutting himself with stones"
(Mark 5:2-5). But I say, all in vain; desperation will not comfort
him, the old covenant will not save him; nay, heaven and earth
shall pass away before one jot or tittle of the Word and law of
grace shall fall or be removed. This I saw, this I felt, and under
this I groaned; yet this advantage I got thereby, namely, a farther
confirmation of the certainty of the way of salvation, and that
the Scriptures were the Word of God! Oh! I cannot now express what
then I saw and felt of the steadiness of Jesus Christ, the rock of
man's salvation; what was done could not be undone, added to, nor
altered. I saw, indeed, that sin might drive the soul beyond Christ,
even the sin which is unpardonable; but woe to him that was so
driven, for the Word would shut him out.

187. Thus was I always sinking, whatever I did think or do. So one
day I walked to a neighbouring town, and sat down upon a settle in
the street, and fell into a very deep pause about the most fearful
state my sin had brought me to; and, after long musing, I lifted
up my head, but methought I saw as if the sun that shineth in the
heavens did grudge to give light, and as if the very stones in the
street, and tiles upon the houses, did bend themselves against me;
methought that they all combined together to banish me out of the
world; I was abhorred of them, and unfit to dwell among them, or
be partaker of their benefits, because I had sinned against the
Saviour. O how happy, now, was every creature over [what] I was; for
they stood fast and kept their station, but I was gone and lost.

188. Then breaking out in the bitterness of my soul, I said 'to
myself,' with a grievous sigh, How can God comfort such a wretch as
I? I had no sooner said it but this returned upon me, as an echo
doth answer a voice, This sin is not unto death. At which I was
as if I had been raised out of a grave, and cried out again, Lord,
how couldest thou find out such a word as this? for I was filled
with admiration at the fitness, and, also, at the unexpectedness
of the sentence, 'the fitness of the Word, the rightness of the
timing of it, the power, and sweetness, and light, and glory that
came with it, also, was marvelous to me to find. I was now, for the
time, out of doubt as to that about which I so much was in doubt
before; my fears before were, that my sin was not pardonable, and
so that I had no right to pray, to repent, &c., or that if I did,
it would be of no advantage or profit to me. But now, thought I,
if this sin is not unto death, then it is pardonable; therefore,
from this I have encouragement to come to God, by Christ, for mercy,
to consider the promise of forgiveness as that which stands with
open arms to receive me, as well as others. This, therefore, was
a great easement to my mind; to wit, that my sin was pardonable,
that it was not the sin unto death (1 John 5:16,17). None but those
that know what my trouble, by their own experience, was, can tell
what relief came to my soul by this consideration; it was a release
to me from my former bonds, and a shelter from my former storm. I
seemed now to stand upon the same ground with other sinners, and
to have as good right to the Word and prayer as any of them.'[45]

189. Now, 'I say,' I was in hopes that my sin was not unpardonable,
but that there might be hopes for me to obtain forgiveness. But,
oh, how Satan did now lay about him for to bring me down again!
But he could by no means do it, neither this day nor the most part
of the next, for this sentence stood like a mill post at my back;
yet, towards the evening of the next day, I felt this word begin
to leave me and to withdraw its supportation from me, and so I
returned to my old fears again, but with a great deal of grudging
and peevishness, for I feared the sorrow of despair; 'nor could my
faith now longer retain this word.'

190. But the next day, at evening, being under many fears, I went
to seek the Lord; and as I prayed, I cried, 'and my soul cried'
to him in these words, with strong cries:--O Lord, I beseech thee,
show me that thou hast loved me with everlasting love (Jer 31:3).
I had no sooner said it but, with sweetness, this returned upon me,
as an echo or sounding again, "I have loved thee with an everlasting
love." Now I went to bed at quiet; also, when I awaked the next
morning, it was fresh upon my soul--'and I believed it.'

191. But yet the tempter left me not; for it could not be so little
as an hundred times that he that day did labour to break my peace.
Oh! the combats and conflicts that I did then meet with as I strove
to hold by this word; that of Esau would fly in my face like to
lightning. I should be sometimes up and down twenty times in an
hour, yet God did bear me up and keep my heart upon this word, from
which I had also, for several days together, very much sweetness
and comfortable hopes of pardon; for thus it was made out to me,
I loved thee whilst thou wast committing this sin, I loved thee
before, I love thee still, and I will love thee for ever.

192. Yet I saw my sin most barbarous, and a filthy crime, and could
not but conclude, and that with great shame and astonishment, that
I had horribly abused the holy Son of God; wherefore I felt my soul
greatly to love and pity him, and my bowels to yearn towards him;
for I saw he was still my Friend, and did reward me good for evil;
yea, the love and affection that then did burn within to my Lord
and Saviour Jesus Christ did work, at this time, such a strong
and hot desire of revengement upon myself for the abuse I had done
unto him, that, to speak as then I thought, had I had a thousand
gallons of blood within my veins, I could freely 'then' have spilt
it all at the command and feet of this my Lord and Saviour.

193. And as I was thus in musing and in my studies, 'considering'
how to love the Lord and to express my love to him, that saying
came in upon me, "If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord,
who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou
mayest be feared" (Psa 130:3,4). These were good words to me,[46]
especially the latter part thereof; to wit, that there is forgiveness
with the Lord, that he might be feared; that is, as then I understood
it, that he might be loved and had in reverence; for it was thus
made out to me, that the great God did set so high an esteem upon
the love of his poor creatures, that rather than he would go without
their love he would pardon their transgressions.

194. And now was that word fulfilled on me, and I was also refreshed
by it, Then shall they be ashamed and confounded, "and never open
their mouth any more because of their shame, when I am pacified
toward them for all that they have done, saith the Lord God" (Eze
16:63). Thus was my soul at this time, and, as I then did think,
for ever, set at liberty from being again afflicted with my former
guilt and amazement.