John Lothrop Motley - "History of the United Netherlands, 1587"

Charlotte M. Yonge - "Magnum Bonum"

Edward Payson Roe - "Opening a Chestnut Burr"

George Meredith - "A Reading of Life, and Other Poems"

New Philadelphia Book Publisher Highlights Local Talent
Book and Publishing News from Publishers Newswire(tm)

Looking for Child to be on Cover of a New Book, 'The Model Child'
PHILADELPHIA, Pa. -- The Philadelphia literary world will celebrate the launch of two new players today, April 10th: Kay Square Press, a new publishing company focused on Philadelphia-area artists, their stories, and their art; and Kay Square's first release, 'With the Rich and Mighty: Emlen Etting of Philadelphia' (ISBN: 978-0-9815129-0-7), a critical biography by Kenneth C. Kaleta.

FlatSigned Press Alleges Don Imus Remarks Damage Legacy of President Gerald R. Ford
NEW YORK, N.Y. -- Nathan Yungerberg, an accomplished model scout and professional child photographer is launching a nation-wide casting call to find the cover model for his highly anticipated book release, 'The Model Child: A Parents Guide to the Child Modeling Industry' (ISBN: 978-0-9817018-0-6).

Books: The Works of John Bunyan Volume 1

J >> John Bunyan >> The Works of John Bunyan Volume 1




85. 'While I was thus afflicted with the fears of my own damnation,
there were two things would make me wonder; the one was, when I
saw old people hunting after the things of this life, as if they
should live here always; the other was, when I found professors
much distressed and cast down, when they met with outward losses;
as of husband, wife, child, &c. Lord, thought I, what ado is here
about such little things as these! What seeking after carnal things
by some, and what grief in others for the loss of them! if they so
much labour after, and spend so many tears for the things of this
present life, how am I to be bemoaned, pitied, and prayed for!
My soul is dying, my soul is damning. Were my soul but in a good
condition, and were I but sure of it, ah! how rich should I esteem
myself, though blessed but with bread and water; I should count those
but small afflictions, and should bear them as little burdens. "A
wounded spirit who can bear?"'

86. And though I was thus troubled, and tossed, and afflicted,
with the sight and sense and terror of my own wickedness, yet I
was afraid to let this sight and sense go quite off my mind; for
I found, that unless guilt of conscience was taken off the right
way, that is, by the blood of Christ, a man grew rather worse for
the loss of his trouble of mind, than better. Wherefore, if my
guilt lay hard upon me, then I should cry that the blood of Christ
might take it off; and if it was going off without it (for the sense
of sin would be sometimes as if it would die, and go quite away),
then I would also strive to fetch it upon my heart again, by
bringing the punishment for sin in hell fire upon my spirits; and
should cry, Lord, let it not go off my heart, but the right way,
but by the blood of Christ, and by the application of thy mercy,
through him, to my soul; for that Scripture lay much upon me,
"without shedding of blood is no remission" (Heb 9:22). And that
which made me the more afraid of this was, because I had seen some,
who, though when they were under wounds of conscience, then they
would cry and pray; but they seeking rather present ease from their
trouble, than pardon for their sin, cared not how they lost their
guilt, so they got it out of their mind; and, therefore, having
got it off the wrong way, it was not sanctified unto them; but they
grew harder and blinder, and more wicked after their trouble. This
made me afraid, and made me cry to God 'the more,' that it might
not be so with me.

87. And now was I sorry that God had made me a man, for I feared
I was a reprobate; I counted man as unconverted, the most doleful
of all the creatures. Thus being afflicted and tossed about my
sad condition, I counted myself alone, and above the most of men
unblessed.

88. 'Yea, I thought it impossible that ever I should attain to so
much goodness of heart, as to thank God that he had made me a man.
Man indeed is the most noble by creation, of all creatures in the
visible world; but by sin he had made himself the most ignoble.
The beasts, birds, fishes, &c., I blessed their condition, for they
had not a sinful nature, they were not obnoxious to the wrath of
God; they were not to go to hell fire after death; I could therefore
have rejoiced, had my condition been as any of theirs.'

89. In this condition I went a great while; but when comforting
time was come, I heard one preach a sermon upon those words in the
Song (4:1), "Behold thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair."
But at that time he made these two words, "My love," his chief and
subject matter; from which, after he had a little opened the text,
he observed these several conclusions: 1. That the church, and
so every saved soul, is Christ's love, when loveless. 2. Christ's
love without a cause. 3. Christ's love when hated of the world.
4. Christ's love when under temptation, and under desertion. 5.
Christ's love from first to last.

90. But I got nothing by what he said at present, only when he came
to the application of the fourth particular, this was the word he
said; If it be so, that the saved soul is Christ's love when under
temptation and desertion; then poor tempted soul, when thou art
assaulted and afflicted with temptation, and the hidings of God's
face, yet think on these two words, "My love," still.

91. So as I was a going home, these words came again into my
thoughts; and I well remember, as they came in, I said thus in my
heart, What shall I get by thinking on these two words? This thought
had no sooner passed through my heart, but the words began thus to
kindle in my spirit, "Thou art my love, thou art my love," twenty
times together; and still as they ran thus in my mind, they waxed
stronger and warmer, and began to make me look up; but being as
yet between hope and fear, I still replied in my heart, But is it
true, but is it true? At which, that sentence fell in upon me, He
"wist not that it was true which was done by the angel" (Acts 12:9).

92. Then I began to give place to the word, which, with power, did
over and over make this joyful sound within my soul, thou art my
love, thou art my love; and nothing shall separate thee from my
love; and with that (Rom 8:39) came into my mind: Now was my heart
filled full of comfort and hope, and now I could believe that my
sins should be forgiven me; 'yea, I was now so taken with the love
and mercy of God, that I remember I could not tell how to contain
till I got home; I thought I could have spoken of his love, and of
his mercy to me, even to the very crows that sat upon the ploughed
lands before me, had they been capable to have understood me';
wherefore I said in my soul, with much gladness, well, I would
I had a pen and ink here, I would write this down before I go any
further, for surely I will not forget this forty years hence; but,
alas! within less than forty days, I began to question all again;
'which made me begin to question all still.'

93. Yet still at times, I was helped to believe that it was a true
manifestation of grace unto my soul, though I had lost much of the
life and savour of it. Now about a week or fortnight after this, I
was much followed by this scripture, "Simon, Simon, behold, Satan
hath desired to have you" (Luke 22:31). And sometimes it would sound
so loud within me, yea, and as it were call so strongly after me,
that once above all the rest, I turned my head over my shoulder,
thinking verily that some man had, behind me, called to me; being at
a great distance, 'methought he called so loud; it came, as I have
thought since, to have stirred me up to prayer, and to watchfulness;
it came to acquaint me that a cloud and a storm was coming down
upon me, but I understood it not.'[26]

94. 'Also, as I remember, that time that it called to me so loud,
was the last time that it sounded in mine ear; but methinks I hear
still with what a loud voice these words, Simon, Simon, sounded
in mine ears. I thought verily, as I have told you, that somebody
had called after me, that was half a mile behind me; and although
that was not my name, yet it made me suddenly look behind me,
believing that he that called so loud meant me.'

95. But so foolish was I, and ignorant, that I knew not the reason
of this sound; which, as I did both see and feel soon after, was
sent from heaven as an alarm, to awaken me to provide for what was
coming; only it would make me muse and wonder in my mind, to think
what should be the reason that this scripture, and that at this
rate, so often and so loud, should still be sounding and rattling
in mine ears; but, as I said before, I soon after perceived the
end of God therein.

96. For about the space of a month after, a very great storm came
down upon me, which handled me twenty times worse than all I had
met with before; it came stealing upon me, now by one piece, then
by another; first, all my comfort was taken from me, then darkness
seized upon me, after which, whole floods of blasphemies, both
against God, Christ, and the Scriptures, were poured upon my spirit,
to my great confusion and astonishment. These blasphemous thoughts
were such as also stirred up questions in me, against the very
being of God, and of his only beloved Son; as, whether there were,
in truth, a God, or Christ, or no? and whether the holy Scriptures
were not rather a fable, and cunning story, than the holy and pure
Word of God?

97. The tempter would also much assault me with this, how can
you tell but that the Turks had as good Scriptures to prove their
Mahomet the Saviour, as we have to prove our Jesus is? And, could I
think, that so many ten thousands, in so many countries and kingdoms,
should be without the knowledge of the right way to heaven; if
there were indeed a heaven, and that we only, who live in a corner
of the earth, should alone be blessed therewith? Every one doth
think his own religion rightest, both Jews and Moors, and Pagans!
and how if all our faith, and Christ, and Scriptures, should be
but a think-so too?

98. Sometimes I have endeavoured to argue against these suggestions,
and to set some of the sentences of blessed Paul against them;
but, alas! I quickly felt, when I thus did, such arguings as these
would return again upon me, Though we made so great a matter of Paul,
and of his words, yet how could I tell, but that in very deed, he
being a subtle and cunning man, might give himself up to deceive
with strong delusions; and also take both that pains and travel,
to undo and destroy his fellows.

99. These suggestions, with many other which at this time I may
not, nor dare not utter, neither by word nor pen, did make such a
seizure upon my spirit, and did so overweigh my heart, both with
their number, continuance, and fiery force, that I felt as if there
were nothing else but these from morning to night within me; and
as though, indeed, there could be room for nothing else; and also
concluded, that God had, in very wrath to my soul, given me up unto
them, to be carried away with them, as with a mighty whirlwind.

100. Only by the distaste that they gave unto my spirit, I felt
there was something in me, that refused to embrace them. But this
consideration I then only had, when God gave me leave to swallow
my spittle, otherwise the noise, and strength, and force of these
temptations, would drown and overflow; and as it were, bury all
such thoughts or the remembrance of any such thing. While I was
in this temptation, I should often find my mind suddenly put upon
it, to curse and swear, or to speak some grievous thing against
God, or Christ his Son, and of the Scriptures.[27]

101. Now I thought, surely I am possessed of the devil; at other
times again, I thought I should be bereft of my wits; for instead
of lauding and magnifying God the Lord with others, if I have
but heard him spoken of, presently some most horrible blasphemous
thought or other, would bolt out of my heart against him; so that
whether I did think that God was, or again did think there were
no such thing; no love, nor peace, nor gracious disposition could
I feel within me.

102. These things did sink me into very deep despair; for
I concluded, that such things could not possibly be found amongst
them that loved God. I often, when these temptations have been
with force upon me, did compare myself in the case of such a child,
whom some gipsy hath by force took up under her apron,[28] and is
carrying from friend and country; kick sometimes I did, and also
scream and cry; but yet I was as bound in the wings of the temptation,
and the wind would carry me away. I thought also of Saul, and of
the evil spirit that did possess him; and did greatly fear that my
condition was the same with that of his (1 Sam 16:14).

103. In these days, when I have heard others talk of what was the
sin against the Holy Ghost, then would the tempter so provoke me
to desire to sin that sin, that I was as if I could not, must not,
neither should be quiet until I had committed that; now, no sin
would serve but that; if it were to be committed by speaking of
such a word, then I have been as if my mouth would have spoken that
word, whether I would or no; and in so strong a measure was this
temptation upon me, that often I have been ready to clap my hand
under my chin, to hold my mouth from opening; and to that end also
I have had thoughts at other times, to leap with my head downward,
into some muck hill hole or other, to keep my mouth from speaking.

104. Now I blessed the condition of the dog and toad, and counted
the estate of everything that God had made far better than this
dreadful state of mine, and such as my companions was; yea, gladly
would I have been in the condition of dog or horse, for I knew
they had no soul to perish under the everlasting weights of hell
for sin, as mine was like to do. Nay, and though I saw this, felt
this, and was broken to pieces with it, yet that which added to
my sorrow was, that I could not find that with all my soul I did
desire deliverance. That scripture did also tear and rend my soul,
in the midst of these distractions, "The wicked are like the troubled
sea when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. There
is no peace, saith my God, to the wicked" (Isa 57:20,21).

105. 'And now my heart was, at times, exceeding hard; if I would
have given a thousand pounds for a tear, I could not shed one;
no, nor sometimes scarce desire to shed one. I was much dejected
to think that this should be my lot. I saw some could mourn and
lament their sin; and others, again, could rejoice, and bless God
for Christ; and others, again, could quietly talk of, and with
gladness remember, the Word of God; while I only was in the storm
or tempest. This much sunk me; I thought my condition was alone.
I should, therefore, much bewail my hard hap; but get out of, or
get rid of, these things, I could not.'

106. While this temptation lasted, which was about a year, I could
attend upon none of the ordinances of God but with sore and great
affliction. Yea, then was I most distressed with blasphemies; if
I have been hearing the Word, then uncleanness, blasphemies, and
despair would hold me as captive there; if I have been reading,
then, sometimes, I had sudden thoughts to question all I read;
sometimes, again, my mind would be so strangely snatched away,
and possessed with other things, that I have neither known, nor
regarded, nor remembered so much as the sentence that but now I
have read.

107. In prayer, also, I have been greatly troubled at this time;
sometimes I have thought I should see the devil, nay, thought
I have felt him, behind me, pull my clothes; he would be, also,
continually at me in the time of prayer to have done; break off,
make haste, you have prayed enough, and stay no longer, still
drawing my mind away. Sometimes, also, he would cast in such
wicked thoughts as these: that I must pray to him, or for him. I
have thought sometimes of that--Fall down, or, "if thou wilt fall
down and worship me" (Matt 4:9).

108. Also, when, because I have had wandering thoughts in the time
of this duty, I have laboured to compose my mind and fix it upon
God, then, with great force, hath the tempter laboured to distract
me, and confound me, and to turn away my mind, by presenting to my
heart and fancy the form of a bush, a bull, a besom, or the like,
as if I should pray to those; to these he would, also, at some
times especially, so hold my mind that I was as if I could think
of nothing else, or pray to nothing else but to these, or such as
they.

109. Yet, at times I should have some strong and heart-affecting
apprehensions of God, and the reality of the truth of his gospel;
but, oh! how would my heart, at such times, put forth itself with
inexpressible groanings. My whole soul was then in every word; I
should cry with pangs after God that he would be merciful unto me;
but then I should be daunted again with such conceits as these; I
should think that God did mock at these, my prayers, saying, and
that in the audience of the holy angels, This poor simple wretch
doth hanker after me as if I had nothing to do with my mercy
but to bestow it on such as he. Alas, poor fool![29] how art thou
deceived! It is not for such as thee to have a favour with the
Highest.

110. Then hath the tempter come upon me, also, with such
discouragements as these--You are very hot for mercy, but I will
cool you; this frame shall not last always; many have been as hot
as you for a spirit, but I have quenched their zeal. And with this,
such and such who were fallen off would be set before mine eyes.
Then I should be afraid that I should do so too; but, thought I, I
am glad this comes into my mind. Well, I will watch, and take what
heed I can. Though you do, said Satan, I shall be too hard for you;
I will cool you insensibly, by degrees, by little and little. What
care I, saith he, though I be seven years in chilling your heart
if I can do it at last? Continual rocking will lull a crying child
asleep. I will ply it close, but I will have my end accomplished.
Though you be burning hot at present, yet, if I can pull you from
this fire, I shall have you cold before it be long.

111. These things brought me into great straits; for as I at present
could not find myself fit for present death, so I thought to live
long would make me yet more unfit; for time would make me forget
all, and wear even the remembrance of the evil of sin, the worth
of heaven, and the need I had of the blood of Christ to wash me,
both out of mind and thought; but I thank Christ Jesus these things
did not at present make me slack my crying, but rather did put me
more upon it, like her who met with the adulterer (Deut 22:27); in
which days that was a good word to me after I had suffered these
things a while: "I am persuaded that neither-height, nor depth,
nor life," &c., "shall--separate us from the love of God, which is
in Christ Jesus" (Rom 8:38). And now I hoped long life should not
destroy me, nor make me miss of heaven.

112. Yet I had some supports in this temptation, though they were
then all questioned by me; that in the third of Jeremiah, at the
first, was something to me, and so was the consideration of the
fifth verse of that chapter; that though we have spoken and done
as evil things as we could, yet we should cry unto God, "My Father,
thou art the guide of my youth"; and should return unto him.

113. I had, also, once a sweet glance from that in 2 Corinthians
5:21: "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin;
that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." I remember,
also, that one day as I was sitting in a neighbour's house, and
there very sad at the consideration of my many blasphemies, and as
I was saying in my mind, What ground have I to think that I, who
have been so vile and abominable, should ever inherit eternal life?
that word came suddenly upon me, "What shall we then say to these
things? If God be for us, who can be against us?" (Rom 8:31). That,
also, was an help unto me, "Because I live, ye shall live also"
(John 14:19). But these were but hints, touches, and short visits,
though very sweet when present; only they lasted not; but, like to
Peter's sheet, of a sudden were caught up from me to heaven again
(Acts 10:16).

114. But afterwards the Lord did more fully and graciously discover
himself unto me; and, indeed, did quite, not only deliver me from
the guilt that, by these things, was laid upon my conscience, but
also from the very filth thereof; for the temptation was removed,
and I was put into my right mind again, as other Christians were.

115. I remember that one day, as I was traveling into the country
and musing on the wickedness and blasphemy of my heart, and
considering of the enmity that was in me to God, that scripture
came in my mind, He hath "made peace through the blood of his cross"
(Col 1:20). By which I was made to see, both again, and again, and
again, that day, that God and my soul were friends by this blood;
yea, I saw that the justice of God and my sinful soul could embrace
and kiss each other through this blood. This was a good day to me;
I hope I shall not forget it.

116. At another time, as I sat by the fire in my house, and musing
on my wretchedness, the Lord made that also a precious word unto
me, "Forasmuch, then, as the children are partakers of flesh and
blood, he also himself likewise took part of the same; that through
death he might destroy him that had the power of death, that is,
the devil, and deliver them who, through fear of death, were all
their lifetime subject to bondage" (Heb 2:14,15). I thought that
the glory of these words was then so weighty on me that I was,
both once and twice, ready to swoon as I sat; yet not with grief
and trouble, but with solid joy and peace.

[BUNYAN ATTENDS THE MINISTRY OF MR. GIFFORD, AND BECOMES INTENSELY
EARNEST TO UNDERSTAND THE DOCTRINES OF THE GOSPEL.]

117. At this time, also, I sat under the ministry of holy Mr. Gifford,
whose doctrine, by God's grace, was much for my stability.[30] This
man made it much his business to deliver the people of God from
all those false and unsound rests that, by nature, we are prone
to take and make to our souls. He pressed us to take special heed
that we took not up any truth upon trust--as from this, or that,
or any other man or men--but to cry mightily to God that he would
convince us of the reality thereof, and set us down therein, by
his own Spirit, in the holy Word; for, said he, if you do otherwise
when temptations come, if strongly, you, not having received them
with evidence from heaven, will find you want that help and strength
now to resist as once you thought you had.

118. This was as seasonable to my soul as the former and latter
rain in their season; for I had found, and that by sad experience,
the truth of these his words; for I had felt [what] no man can say,
especially when tempted by the devil, that Jesus Christ is Lord
but by the Holy Ghost. Wherefore I found my soul, through grace,
very apt to drink in this doctrine, and to incline to pray to God
that, in nothing that pertained to God's glory and my own eternal
happiness, he would suffer me to be without the confirmation
thereof from heaven; for now I saw clearly there was an exceeding
different betwixt the notions of flesh and blood, and the revelations
of God in heaven; also, a great difference between that faith that
is feigned, and according to man's wisdom, and of that which comes
by a man's being born thereto of God (Matt 16:15-17; 1 John 5:1).

119. But, oh! now, how was my soul led from truth to truth by God!
even from the birth and cradle of the Son of God to his ascension
and second coming from heaven to judge the world.

120. Truly, I then found, upon this account, the great God was very
good unto me; for, to my remembrance, there was not anything that
I then cried unto God to make known and reveal unto me but he was
pleased to do it for me; I mean not one part of the gospel of the
Lord Jesus, but I was orderly led into it. Methought I saw with
great evidence, from the relation of the four evangelists, the
wonderful work of God, in giving Jesus Christ to save us, from
his conception and birth even to his second coming to judgment,
Methought I was as if I had seen him born, as if I had seen him grow
up, as if I had seen him walk through this world, from the cradle
to his cross; to which, also, when he came, I saw how gently he
gave himself to be hanged and nailed on it for my sins and wicked
doings. Also, as I was musing on this, his progress, that dropped
on my spirit, He was ordained for the slaughter (1 Peter 1:19,20).

121. When I have considered also the truth of his resurrection, and
have remembered that word, "Touch me not, Mary," &c., I have seen
as if he leaped at the grave's mouth for joy that he was risen
again, and had got the conquest over our dreadful foes (John 20:17).
I have also, in the spirit, seen him a man on the right hand of
God the Father for me, and have seen the manner of his coming from
heaven to judge the world with glory, and have been confirmed in
these things by these scriptures following, Acts 1:9, 10, 7:56,
10:42; Hebrews 7:24, 8:3; Revelation 1:18; 1 Thessalonians 4:17,
18.

122. Once I was much troubled to know whether the Lord Jesus was
both man as well as God, and God as well as man; and truly, in those
days, let men say what they would, unless I had it with evidence
from heaven, all was as nothing to me, I counted not myself set down
in any truth of God. Well, I was much troubled about this point,
and could not tell how to be resolved; at last, that in the fifth
of the Revelation came into my mind, "And I beheld, and lo, in the
midst of the throne and of the four beasts, and in the midst of
the elders, stood a Lamb." In the midst of the throne, 'thought
I,' there is his Godhead; in the midst of the elders, there is his
manhood; but oh! methought this did glister! it was a goodly touch,
and gave me sweet satisfaction. That other scripture also did help
me much in this, "To us a child is born, unto us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall
be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting
Father, the Prince of Peace," &c. (Isa 9:6).