Jeffery Farnol - "Peregrine's Progress"

Vernon Lee - "A Phantom Lover"

John Lothrop Motley - "The Rise of the Dutch Republic, 1566"

Thomas Malthus - "Nature and Progress of Rent"

New Philadelphia Book Publisher Highlights Local Talent
Book and Publishing News from Publishers Newswire(tm)

Looking for Child to be on Cover of a New Book, 'The Model Child'
PHILADELPHIA, Pa. -- The Philadelphia literary world will celebrate the launch of two new players today, April 10th: Kay Square Press, a new publishing company focused on Philadelphia-area artists, their stories, and their art; and Kay Square's first release, 'With the Rich and Mighty: Emlen Etting of Philadelphia' (ISBN: 978-0-9815129-0-7), a critical biography by Kenneth C. Kaleta.

FlatSigned Press Alleges Don Imus Remarks Damage Legacy of President Gerald R. Ford
NEW YORK, N.Y. -- Nathan Yungerberg, an accomplished model scout and professional child photographer is launching a nation-wide casting call to find the cover model for his highly anticipated book release, 'The Model Child: A Parents Guide to the Child Modeling Industry' (ISBN: 978-0-9817018-0-6).

Books: The Works of John Bunyan Volume 1

J >> John Bunyan >> The Works of John Bunyan Volume 1




I could have enlarged much in this my discourse, of my temptations
and troubles for sin; as also of the merciful kindness and working
of God with my soul. I could also have stepped into a style much
higher than this in which I have here discoursed, and could have
adorned all things more than here I have seemed to do, but I dare
not. God did not play in convincing of me, the devil did not play
in tempting of me, neither did I play when I sunk as into a bottomless
pit, when the pangs of hell caught hold upon me; wherefore I may
not play in my relating of them, but be plain and simple, and lay
down the thing as it was. He that liketh it, let him receive it;
and he that does not, let him produce a better. Farewell.

My dear children, the milk and honey is beyond this wilderness. God
be merciful to you, and grant 'that' you be not slothful to go in
to possess the land.

JOHN BUNYAN.

GRACE ABOUNDING TO THE CHIEF OF SINNERS; OR, A BRIEF RELATION OF
THE EXCEEDING MERCY OF GOD IN CHRIST, TO HIS POOR SERVANT, JOHN
BUNYAN.

[BUNYAN'S ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF PREVIOUS TO HIS CONVERSION.]

1. In this my relation of the merciful working of God upon my soul,
it will not be amiss, if, in the first place, I do, in a few words,
give you a hint of my pedigree, and manner of bringing up; that
thereby the goodness and bounty of God towards me, may be the more
advanced and magnified before the sons of men.

2. For my descent then, it was, as is well known by many, of a
low and inconsiderable generation; my father's house being of that
rank that is meanest and most despised of all the families in the
land.[6] Wherefore I have not here, as others, to boast of noble
blood, or of a high-born state, according to the flesh; though,
all things considered, I magnify the heavenly Majesty, for that by
this door he brought me into this world, to partake of the grace
and life that is in Christ by the gospel.

3. But yet, notwithstanding the meanness and inconsiderableness
of my parents, it pleased God to put it into their hearts to put
me to school, to learn both to read and write; the which I also
attained, according to the rate of other poor men's children;[7]
though, to my shame I confess, I did soon lose that little I learned,
and that even almost utterly, and that long before the Lord did
work his gracious work of conversion upon my soul.

4. As for my own natural life, for the time that I was without God
in the world, it was indeed according to the course of this world,
and "the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience"
(Eph 2:2,3). It was my delight to be "taken captive by the devil
at his will" (2 Tim 2:26). Being filled with all unrighteousness:
the which did also so strongly work and put forth itself, both in my
heart and life, and that from a child, that I had but few equals,
especially considering my years, which were tender, being few, both
for cursing, swearing, lying, and blaspheming the holy name of God.

5. Yea, so settled and rooted was I in these things, that they
became as a second nature to me; the which, as I also have with
soberness considered since, did so offend the Lord, that even
in my childhood he did scare and affright me with fearful dreams,
and did terrify me with dreadful visions; for often, after I had
spent this and the other day in sin, I have in my bed been greatly
afflicted, while asleep, with the apprehensions of devils and
wicked spirits, who still, as I then thought, laboured to draw me
away with them, of which I could never be rid.

6. Also I should, at these years, be greatly afflicted and troubled
with the thoughts of the day of judgment, and that both night and
day, and should tremble at the thoughts of the fearful torments
of hell fire; still fearing that it would be my lot to be found at
last amongst those devils and hellish fiends, who are there bound
down with the chains and bonds of eternal darkness, "unto the
judgment of the great day."

7. These things, I say, when I was but a child, 'but nine or ten
years old,' did so distress my soul, that when in the midst of my
many sports and childish vanities, amidst my vain companions, I
was often much cast down and afflicted in my mind therewith, yet
could I not let go my sins. Yea, I was 'also then' so overcome
with despair of life and heaven, that I should often wish either
that there had been no hell, or that I had been a devil--supposing
they were only tormentors; that if it must needs be that I went
thither, I might be rather a tormentor, than 'be' tormented myself.

8. A while after, these terrible dreams did leave me, which also I
soon forgot; for my pleasures did quickly cut off the remembrance
of them, as if they had never been: wherefore, with more greediness,
according to the strength of nature, I did still let loose the
reins to my lusts, and delighted in all transgression against the
law of God: so that, until I came to the state of marriage, I was
the very ringleader of all the youth that kept me company, into
all manner of vice and ungodliness.[8]

9. Yea, such prevalency had the lusts and fruits of the flesh in
this poor soul of mine, that had not a miracle of precious grace
prevented, I had not only perished by the stroke of eternal justice,
but had also laid myself open, even to the stroke of those laws,
which bring some to disgrace and open shame before the face of the
world.

10. In these days, the thoughts of religion were very grievous to
me; I could neither endure it myself, nor that any other should;
so that, when I have seen some read in those books that concerned
Christian piety, it would be as it were a prison to me. Then I
said unto God, "Depart from me, for I desire not the knowledge of
thy ways" (Job 21:14). I was now void of all good consideration,
heaven and hell were both out of sight and mind; and as for saving
and damning, they were least in my thoughts.[9] O Lord, thou knowest
my life, and my ways were not hid from thee.

11. Yet this I well remember, that though I could myself sin with the
greatest delight and ease, and also take pleasure in the vileness
of my companions; yet, even then, if I have at any time seen wicked
things, by those who professed goodness, it would make my spirit
tremble. As once, above all the rest, when I was in my height of
vanity, yet hearing one to swear that was reckoned for a religious
man, it had so great a stroke upon my spirit, that it made my heart
to ache.

12. 'But God did not utterly leave me, but followed me still, not
now with convictions, but judgments; yet such as were mixed with
mercy. For once I fell into a creek of the sea, and hardly escaped
drowning. Another time I fell out of a boat into Bedford river,
but mercy yet preserved me alive. Besides, another time, being in
the field with one of my companions, it chanced that an adder passed
over the highway; so I, having a stick in my hand, struck her over
the back; and having stunned her, I forced open her mouth with my
stick, and plucked her sting out with my fingers; by which act, had
not God been merciful unto me, I might, by my desperateness, have
brought myself to mine end.'

13. 'This also have I taken notice of with thanksgiving; when I
was a soldier, I, with others, were drawn out to go to such a place
to besiege it; but when I was just ready to go, one of the company
desired to go in my room; to which, when I had consented, he took
my place; and coming to the siege, as he stood sentinel, he was
shot into the head with a musket bullet, and died.'[10]

14. 'Here, as I said, were judgments and mercy, but neither of them
did awaken my soul to righteousness; wherefore I sinned still, and
grew more and more rebellious against God, and careless of mine
own salvation.'

15. Presently after this, I changed my condition into a married
state, and my mercy was to light upon a wife whose father was
counted godly.[11] This woman and I, though we came together as poor
as poor might be, not having so much household stuff as a dish or
spoon betwixt us both, yet this she had for her part, The Plain
Man's Pathway to Heaven, and The Practice of Piety, which her father
had left her when he died. In these two books I should sometimes
read with her, wherein I also found some things that were somewhat
pleasing to me; but all this while I met with no conviction. She
also would be often telling of me, what a godly man her father was,
and how he would reprove and correct vice, both in his house, and
amongst his neighbours; what a strict and holy life he lived in
his day, both in word and deed.

16. Wherefore these books with this relation, though they did not
reach my heart, to awaken it about my sad and sinful state, yet
they did beget within me some desires to religion: so that, because
I knew no better, I fell in very eagerly with the religion of the
times; to wit, to go to church twice a day, and that too with the
foremost; and there should very devoutly, both say and sing as others
did, yet retaining my wicked life; but withal, I was so overrun
with a spirit of superstition, that I adored, and that with great
devotion, even all things, both the high place, priest, clerk,
vestment, service, and what else belonging to the church; counting
all things holy that were therein contained, and especially the
priest and clerk most happy, and without doubt, greatly blessed,
because they were the servants, as I then thought, of God, and were
principal in the holy temple, to do his work therein.

17. This conceit grew so strong in little time upon my spirit, that
had I but seen a priest, though never so sordid and debauched in
his life, I should find my spirit fall under him, reverence him,
and knit unto him; yea, I thought for the love I did bear unto
them, supposing they were the ministers of God, I could have lain
down at their feet, and have been trampled upon by them; their
name, their garb, and work, did so intoxicate and bewitch me.

18. After I had been thus for some considerable time, another
thought came into my mind; and that was, whether we were of the
Israelites, or no? For finding in the Scriptures that they were
once the peculiar people of God, thought I, if I were one of this
race, my soul must needs be happy.[12] Now again, I found within
me a great longing to be resolved about this question, but could
not tell how I should. At last I asked my father of it; who told
me--No, we were not. Wherefore then I fell in my spirit as to the
hopes of that, and so remained.

19. But all this while, I was not sensible of the danger and evil
of sin; I was kept from considering that sin would damn me, what
religion soever I followed, unless I was found in Christ. Nay, I
never thought of him, nor whether there was one, or no. Thus man,
while blind, doth wander, but wearieth himself with vanity, for he
knoweth not the way to the city of God (Eccl 10:15).

20. But one day, amongst all the sermons our parson made, his subject
was, to treat of the Sabbath-day, and of the evil of breaking that,
either with labour, sports, or otherwise. Now I was, notwithstanding
my religion, one that took much delight in all manner of vice, and
especially that was the day that I did solace myself therewith,[13]
wherefore I fell in my conscience under his sermon, thinking and
believing that he made that sermon on purpose to show me my evil
doing; and at that time I felt what guilt was, though never before,
that I can remember; but then I was, for the present, greatly
loaden therewith, and so went home when the sermon was ended, with
a great burden upon my spirit.

21. This, for that instant, did 'benumb'[14] the sinews of my 'best'
delights, and did imbitter my former pleasures to me; but behold,
it lasted not, for before I had well dined, the trouble began to go
off my mind, and my heart returned to its old course: but oh! How
glad was I, that this trouble was gone from me, and that the fire
was put out, 'that I might sin again without control!' Wherefore,
when I had satisfied nature with my food, I shook the sermon out
of my mind, and to my old custom of sports and gaming I returned
with great delight.

22. But the same day, as I was in the midst of a game at cat,[15]
and having struck it one blow from the hole, just as I was about
to strike it the second time, a voice did suddenly dart from heaven
into my soul, which said, Wilt thou leave thy sins and go to heaven,
or have thy sins and go to hell? At this I was put to an exceeding
maze; wherefore, leaving my cat upon the ground, I looked up to
heaven, and was, as if I had, with the eyes of my understanding,
seen the Lord Jesus looking down upon me, as being very hotly
displeased with me, and as if he did severely threaten me with some
grievous punishment for these and other my ungodly practices.

23. I had no sooner thus conceived in my mind, but suddenly this
conclusion was fastened on my spirit, for the former hint did set
my sins again before my face, that I had been a great and grievous
sinner, and that it was now too too late for me to look after heaven;
for Christ would not forgive me, nor pardon my transgressions. Then
I fell to musing upon this also; and while I was thinking on it,
and fearing lest it should be so, I felt my heart sink in despair,
concluding it was too late; and therefore I resolved in my mind I
would go on in sin: for, thought I, if the case be thus, my state
is surely miserable; miserable if I leave my sins, and but miserable
if I follow them; I can but be damned, and if I must be so, I had
as good be damned for many sins, as to be damned for few.

24. Thus I stood in the midst of my play, before all that then were
present; but yet I told them nothing: but I say, I having made this
conclusion, I returned 'desperately' to my sport again; and I well
remember, that presently this kind of despair did so possess my
soul, that I was persuaded, I could never attain to other comfort
than what I should get in sin; for heaven was gone already, so
that on that I must not think; wherefore I found within me a great
desire to take my fill of sin, still studying what sin was yet to
be committed, that I might taste the sweetness of it; and I made
as much haste as I could to fill my belly with its delicates, lest
I should die before I had my desire; for that I feared greatly. In
these things, I protest before God, I lie not, neither do I feign
this sort of speech; these were really, strongly, and with all
my heart, my desires; the good Lord, whose mercy is unsearchable,
forgive me my transgressions.

25. And I am very confident, that this temptation of the devil is
more usual amongst poor creatures than many are aware of, even to
overrun their spirits with a scurvy and seared frame of heart, and
benumbing of conscience; which frame, he stilly and slyly supplieth
with such despair, that though not much guilt attendeth the soul,
yet they continually have a secret conclusion within them, that
there is no hopes for them; for they have loved sins, "therefore
after them they will go" (Jer 2:25, 18:12).

26. Now therefore I went on in sin with great greediness of mind,
still grudging that I could not be so satisfied with it as I would.
This did continue with me about a month, or more; but one day, as
I was standing at a neighbour's shop-window, and there cursing and
swearing, and playing the madman, after my wonted manner, there
sat within, the woman of the house, and heard me, who, though she
was a very loose and ungodly wretch, yet protested that I swore and
cursed at that most fearful rate, that she was made to tremble to
hear me; and told me further, That I was the ungodliest fellow for
swearing that ever she heard in all her life; and that I, by thus
doing, was able to spoil all the youth in a whole town, if they
came but in my company.

27. At this reproof I was silenced, and put to secret shame, and
that too, as I thought, before the God of heaven; wherefore, while
I stood there, and hanging down my head, I wished with all my heart
that I might be a little child again, that my father might learn
me to speak without this wicked way of swearing;[16] for, thought
I, I am so accustomed to it, that it is in vain for me to think of
a reformation, for I thought it could never be.

28. But how it came to pass, I know not; I did from this time
forward so leave my swearing, that it was a great wonder to myself
to observe it; and whereas before, I knew not how to speak unless
I put an oath before, and another behind, to make my words have
authority; now, I could, 'without it,' speak better, and with more
pleasantness, than ever I could before. All this while I knew not
Jesus Christ, neither did I leave my sports and plays.

29. But quickly after this, I fell in company with one poor
man that made profession of religion; who, as I then thought, did
talk pleasantly of the Scriptures, and of the matters of religion;
wherefore, falling into some love and liking to what he said, I
betook me to my Bible, and began to take great pleasure in reading,
but especially with the historical part thereof; for, as for Paul's
epistles, and Scriptures of that nature, I could not away with
them, being as yet but ignorant, either of the corruptions of my
nature, or of the want and worth of Jesus Christ to save me.

30. Wherefore I fell to some outward reformation, both in my
words and life, and did set the commandments before me for my way
to heaven; which commandments I also did strive to keep, and, as
I thought, did keep them pretty well sometimes, and then I should
have comfort; yet now and then should break one, and so afflict my
conscience; but then I should repent, and say I was sorry for it,
and promise God to do better next time, and there get help again,
'for then I thought I pleased God as well as any man in England.'

31. Thus I continued about a year; all which time our neighbours
did take me to be a very godly man, a new and religious man, and
did marvel much to see such a great and famous alteration in my
life and manners; and, indeed, so it was, though yet I knew not
Christ, nor grace, nor faith, nor hope; and, truly, as I have well
seen since, had then died, my state had been most fearful; well,
this, I say, continued about a twelvemonth or more.

32. 'But, I say, my neighbours were amazed at this my great conversion,
from prodigious profaneness, to something like a moral life; and,
truly, so they well might; for this my conversion was as great, as
for Tom of Bedlam to become a sober man.[17] Now, therefore, they
began to praise, to commend, and to speak well of me, both to my
face, and behind my back. Now, I was, as they said, become godly;
now, I was become a right honest man. But, oh! When I understood
that these were their words and opinions of men, it pleased me
mighty well. For though, as yet, I was nothing but a poor painted
hypocrite, yet I loved to be talked of as one that was truly godly.
I was proud of my godliness, and, indeed, I did all I did, either
to be seen of, or to be well spoken of, by man. And thus I continued
for about a twelvemonth or more.'

33. 'Now, you must know, that before this I had taken much delight
in ringing, but my conscience beginning to be tender, I thought
such practice was but vain, and therefore forced myself to leave it,
yet my mind hankered; wherefore I should go to the steeple house,
and look on it, though I durst not ring. But I thought this did
not become religion neither, yet I forced myself, and would look
on still; but quickly after, I began to think, How, if one of the
bells should fall? Then I chose to stand under a main beam, that
lay overthwart the steeple, from side to side, thinking there I
might stand sure, but then I should think again, should the bell
fall with a swing, it might first hit the wall, and then rebounding
upon me, might kill me for all this beam. This made me stand in the
steeple door; and now, thought I, I am safe enough; for, if a bell
should then fall, I can slip out behind these thick walls, and so
be preserved notwithstanding.'

34. 'So, after this, I would yet go to see them ring, but would not
go further than the steeple door; but then it came into my head,
How, if the steeple itself should fall? And this thought, it may
fall for ought I know, when I stood and looked on, did continually
so shake my mind, that I durst not stand at the steeple door any
longer, but was forced to flee, for fear the steeple should fall
upon my head.'

35. 'Another thing was my dancing; I was a full year before I
could quite leave that; but all this while, when I thought I kept
this or that commandment, or did, by word or deed, anything that
I thought was good, I had great peace in my conscience; and should
think with myself, God cannot choose but be now pleased with me;
yea, to relate it in mine own way, I thought no man in England
could please God better than I.'

36. 'But poor wretch as I was, I was all this while ignorant of
Jesus Christ, and going about to establish my own righteousness;
and had perished therein, had not God, in mercy, showed me more of
my state of nature.'

[HIS CONVERSION AND PAINFUL EXERCISES OF MIND, PREVIOUS TO HIS
JOINING THE CHURCH AT BEDFORD.]

37. But upon a day, the good providence of God did cast me to
Bedford, to work on my calling; and in one of the streets of that
town, I came where there were three or four poor women sitting at
a door in the sun, and talking about the things of God; and being
now willing to hear them discourse, I drew near to hear what they
said, for I was now a brisk talker also myself in the matters of
religion, but now I may say, I heard, but I understood not; for
they were far above, out of my reach; for their talk was about
a new birth, the work of God on their hearts, also how they were
convinced of their miserable state by nature; they talked how God
had visited their souls with his love in the Lord Jesus, and with
what words and promises they had been refreshed, comforted, and
supported against the temptations of the devil. Moreover, they
reasoned of the suggestions and temptations of Satan in particular;
and told to each other by which they had been afflicted, and how
they were borne up under his assaults. They also discoursed of their
own wretchedness of heart, of their unbelief; and did contemn, slight,
and abhor their own righteousness, as filthy and insufficient to
do them any good.

38. And methought they spake as if joy did make them speak; they
spake with such pleasantness of Scripture language, and with such
appearance of grace in all they said, that they were to me, as if
they had found a new world,[18] as if they were people that dwelt
alone, and were not to be reckoned among their neighbours (Num
23:9).

39. At this I felt my own heart began to shake, as mistrusting my
condition to be nought; for I saw that in all my thoughts about
religion and salvation, the new birth did never enter into my
mind, neither knew I the comfort of the Word and promise, nor the
deceitfulness and treachery of my own wicked heart. As for secret
thoughts, I took no notice of them; neither did I understand what
Satan's temptations were, nor how they were to be withstood and
resisted, &c.

40. Thus, therefore, when I had heard and considered what they
said, I left them, and went about my employment again, but their
talk and discourse went with me; also my heart would tarry with
them, for I was greatly affected with their words, both because
by them I was convinced that I wanted the true tokens of a truly
godly man, and also because by them I was convinced of the happy
and blessed condition of him that was such a one.[19]

41. Therefore I should often make it my business to be going again
and again into the company of these poor people, for I could not
stay away; and the more I went amongst them, the more did question my
condition; and as I still do remember, presently I found two things
within me, at which I did sometimes marvel, especially considering
what a blind, ignorant, sordid, and ungodly wretch but just before
I was; the one was a very great softness and tenderness of heart,
which caused me to fall under the conviction of what by Scripture
they asserted; and the other was a great bending in my mind to a
continual meditating on it, and on all other good things which at
any time I heard or read of.

42. 'By these things' my mind was now so turned, that it lay like
a horse leech at the vein, still crying out, Give, give (Prov
30:15); yea, it was so fixed on eternity, and on the things about
the kingdom of heaven, that is, so far as I knew, though as yet,
God knows, I knew but little; that neither pleasures, nor profits,
nor persuasions, nor threats, could loosen it, or make it let go
his hold; and though I may speak it with shame, yet it is in very
deed a certain truth, it would then have been as difficult for
me to have taken my mind from heaven to earth, as I have found it
often since to get it again from earth to heaven.'

43. 'One thing I may not omit: There was a young man in our town,
to whom my heart before was knit more than to any other, but he
being a most wicked creature for cursing, and swearing, and whoring,
I now shook him off, and forsook his company; but about a quarter
of a year after I had left him, I met him in a certain lane,
and asked him how he did; he, after his old swearing and mad way,
answered, He was well. But, Harry, said I, why do you swear and
curse thus? What will become of you, if you die in this condition?
He answered me in a great chafe, What would the devil do for company,
if it were not for such as I am?'