Books: The Journal of a Tour to the Hebrides with Samuel Johnson, LL.D.

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We next went to the great church of St Giles, which has lost its
original magnificence in the inside, by being divided into four places
of Presbyterian worship. 'Come,' said Dr Johnson jocularly to
Principal Robertson, [Footnote: I have hitherto called him Dr William
Robertson, to distinguish him from Dr James Robertson, who is soon to
make his appearance. But 'Principal', from his being the head of our
college, is his usual designation, and is shorter; so I shall use it
hereafter.] 'let me see what was once a church!' We entered that
division which was formerly called the New Church, and of late the
High Church, so well known by the eloquence of Dr Hugh Blair. It is
now very elegantly fitted up; but it was then shamefully dirty. Dr
Johnson said nothing at the time; but when we came to the great door
of the Royal Infirmary, where, upon a board, was this inscription,
CLEAN YOUR FEET! he turned about slyly, and said, 'There is no
occasion for putting this at the doors of your churches!'

We then conducted him down the Post-house stairs, Parliament Close,
and made him look up from the Cow-gate to the highest building in
Edinburgh (from which he had just descended), being thirteen floors or
stories from the ground upon the back elevation; the front wall being
built upon the edge of the hill, and the back wall rising from the
bottom of the hill several stories before it comes to a level with the
front wall. We proceeded to the College, with the Principal at our
head. Dr Adam Fergusson, whose Essay on the History of Civil Society
gives him a respectable place in the ranks of literature, was with us.
As the College buildings are indeed very mean, the Principal said to
Dr Johnson, that he must give them the same epithet that a Jesuit did
when shewing a poor college abroad: Hae miseriae nostrae. Dr Johnson
was, however, much pleased with the library, and with the conversation
of Dr James Robertson, Professor of Oriental Languages, the Librarian.
We talked of Kennicot's edition of the Hebrew Bible, and hoped it
would be quite faithful. JOHNSON. 'Sir, I know not any crime so great
that a man could contrive to commit, as poisoning the sources of
eternal truth.'

I pointed out to him where there formerly stood an old wall enclosing
part of the college, which I remember bulged out in a threatening
manner, and of which there was a common tradition similar to that
concerning Bacon's study at Oxford, that it would fall upon some very
learned man. It had some time before this been taken down, that the
street might be widened, and a more convenient wall built. Dr Johnson,
glad of an opportunity to have a pleasant hit at Scottish learning,
said, 'they have been afraid it never would fall'.

We shewed him the Royal Infirmary, for which, and for every other
exertion of generous publick spirit in his power, that noble-minded
citizen of Edinburgh, George Drummond, will be ever held in honourable
remembrance. And we were too proud not to carry him to the Abbey of
Holyrood House, that beautiful piece of architecture, but, alas! that
deserted mansion of royalty, which Hamilton of Bangour, in one of his
elegant poems, calls

A virtuous palace, where no monarch dwells.

I was much entertained while Principal Robertson fluently harangued to
Dr Johnson, upon the spot, concerning scenes of his celebrated History
of Scotland. We surveyed that part of the palace appropriated to the
Duke of Hamilton, as Keeper, in which our beautiful Queen Mary lived,
and in which David Rizzio was murdered; and also the State Rooms. Dr
Johnson was a great reciter of all sorts of things serious or comical.
I over-heard him repeating here, in a kind of muttering tone, a line
of the old ballad, 'Johnny Armstrong's Last Good-Night':

'And ran him through the fair body!'
[Footnote: The stanza from which he took this line is:
But then rose up all Edinburgh,
They rose up by thousands three;
A cowardly Scot came John behind,
And ran him through the fair body!]

We returned to my house, where there met him, at dinner, the Duchess
of Douglas, Sir Adolphus Oughton, Lord Chief Baron, Sir William
Forbes, Principal Robertson, Mr Cullen, advocate. Before dinner, he
told us of a curious conversation between the famous George Faulkner
and him. George said that England had drained Ireland of fifty
thousand pounds in specie, annually, for fifty years. 'How so, sir!'
said Dr Johnson, 'you must have a very great trade?' 'No trade.' 'Very
rich mines?' 'No mines.' 'From whence, then, does all this money
come?' 'Come! why out of the blood and bowels of the poor people of
Ireland!'

He seemed to me to have an unaccountable prejudice against Swift; for
I once took a liberty to ask him, if Swift had personally offended
him, and he told me, he had not. He said to-day, 'Swift is clear, but
he is shallow. In coarse humour, he is inferior to Arbuthnot; in
delicate humour, he is inferior to Addison: so he is inferior to his
contemporaries; without putting him against the whole world. I doubt
if the Tale of a Tub was his: it has so much more thinking, more
knowledge, more power, more colour, than any of the works which are
indisputably his. If it was his, I shall only say, he was impar sibi.'

We gave him as good a dinner as we could. Our Scotch muir-fowl, or
growse, were then abundant, and quite in season; and, so far as wisdom
and wit can be aided by administering agreeable sensations to the
palate, my wife took care that our great guest should not be
deficient.

Sir Adolphus Oughton, then our Deputy Commander in Chief, who was not
only an excellent officer, but one of the most universal scholars I
ever knew, had learned the Erse language, and expressed his belief in
the authenticity of Ossian's poetry. Dr Johnson took the opposite side
of that perplexed question; and I was afraid the dispute would have
run high between them. But Sir Adolphus, who had a very sweet temper,
changed the discourse, grew playful, laughed at Lord Monboddo's notion
of men having tails, and called him a Judge, a posteriori, which
amused Dr Johnson; and thus hostilities were prevented.

At supper we had Dr Cullen, his son the advocate, Dr Adam Fergusson,
and Mr Crosbie, advocate. Witchcraft was introduced. Mr Crosbie said,
he thought it the greatest blasphemy to suppose evil spirits
counteracting the Deity, and raising storms, for instance, to destroy
his creatures. JOHNSON. 'Why, sir, if moral evil be consistent with
the government of the Deity, why may not physical evil be also
consistent with it? It is not more strange that there should be evil
spirits, than evil embodied spirits. And as to storms, we know there
are such things; and it is no worse that evil spirits raise them, than
that they rise.' CROSBIE. 'But it is not credible, that witches should
have effected what they are said in stories to have done.' JOHNSON.
'Sir, I am not defending their credibility. I am only saying, that
your arguments are not good, and will not overturn the belief of
witchcraft.' (Dr Fergusson said to me, aside, 'He is right.') 'And
then, sir, you have all mankind, rude and civilized, agreeing in the
belief of the agency of preternatural powers. You must take evidence:
you must consider, that wise and great men have condemned witches to
die.' CROSBIE. 'But an Act of Parliament put an end to witchcraft.'
JOHNSON. 'No, sir; witchcraft had ceased; and therefore an Act of
Parliament was passed to prevent persecution for what was not
witchcraft. Why it ceased, we cannot tell, as we cannot tell the
reason of many other things.' Dr Cullen, to keep up the gratification
of mysterious disquisition, with the grave address for which he is
remarkable in his companionable as in his professional hours, talked,
in a very entertaining manner, of people walking and conversing in
their sleep. I am very sorry I have no note of this. We talked of the
Ouran-Outang, and of Lord Monboddo's thinking that he might be taught
to speak. Dr Johnson treated this with ridicule. Mr Crosbie said, that
Lord Monboddo believed the existence of every thing possible; in
short, that all which is in posse might be found in esse. JOHNSON.
'But, sir, it is as possible that the Ouran-Outang does not speak, as
that he speaks. However, I shall not contest the point. I should have
thought it not possible to find a Monboddo; yet HE exists.' I again
mentioned the stage. JOHNSON. 'The appearance of a player, with whom I
have drunk tea, counteracts the imagination that he is the character
he represents. Nay, you know, nobody imagines that he is the character
he represents. They say, "See Garrick! how he looks to-night! See how
he'll clutch the dagger!" That is the buz of the theatre.'

Tuesday, 17th August

Sir William Forbes came to breakfast, and brought with him Dr
Blacklock, whom he introduced to Dr Johnson, who received him with a
most humane complacency. 'Dear Blacklock, I am glad to see you!'
Blacklock seemed to be much surprised, when Dr Johnson said, 'it was
easier to him to write poetry than to compose his Dictionary. His mind
was less on the stretch in doing the one than the other. Besides;
composing a dictionary requires books and a desk: you can make a poem
walking in the fields, or lying in bed.' Dr Blacklock spoke of
scepticism in morals and religion, with apparant uneasiness, as if he
wished for more certainty. Dr Johnson, who had thought it all over,
and whose vigorous understanding was fortified by much experience,
thus encouraged the blind bard to apply to higher speculations what we
willingly submit to in common life: in short, he gave him more
familiarly the able and fair reasoning of Butler's Analogy: 'Why, sir,
the greatest concern we have in this world, the choice of our
profession, must be determined without demonstrative reasoning. Human
life is not yet so well known, as that we can have it. And take the
case of a man who is ill. I call two physicians: they differ in
opinion. I am not to lie down, and die between them: I must do
something.' The conversation then turned on atheism; on that horrible
book, Systeme de la Nature; and on the supposition of an eternal
necessity, without design, without a governing mind. JOHNSON. 'If it
were so, why has it ceased? Why don't we see men thus produced around
us now? Why, at least, does it not keep pace, in some measure, with
the progress of time? If it stops because there is now no need of it,
then it is plain there is, and ever has been, an all-powerful
intelligence. But stay!' said he, with one of his satyrick laughs.
'Hal ha! ha! I shall suppose Scotchmen made necessarily, and
Englishmen by choice.'

At dinner this day, we had Sir Alexander Dick, whose amiable
character, and ingenious and cultivated mind, are so generally known
(he was then on the verge of seventy, and is now (1785) eighty-one,
with his faculties entire, his heart warm, and his temper gay); Sir
David Dalrymple; Lord Hailes; Mr Maclaurin, advocate; Dr Gregory, who
now worthily fills his father's medical chair; and my uncle, Dr
Boswell. This was one of Dr Johnson's best days. He was quite in his
element. All was literature and taste, without any interruption. Lord
Hailes, who is one of the best philologists in Great Britain, who has
written papers in the World, and a variety of other works in prose and
in verse, both Latin and English, pleased him highly. He told him, he
had discovered the Life of Cheynel, in the Student, to be his.
JOHNSON. 'No one else knows it.' Dr Johnson had, before this, dictated
to me a law-paper, upon a question purely in the law of Scotland,
concerning 'vicious intromission', that is to say, intermeddling with
the effects of a deceased person, without a regular title; which
formerly was understood to subject the intermeddler to payment of all
the defunct's debts. The principle has of late been relaxed. Dr
Johnson's argument was, for a renewal of its strictness. The paper was
printed, with additions by me, and given into the Court of Session.
Lord Hailes knew Dr Johnson's part not to be mine, and pointed out
exactly where it began, and where it ended. Dr Johnson said, 'It is
much, now, that his lordship can distinguish so.'

In Dr Johnson's Vanity of Human Wishes, there is the following
passage:

The teeming mother, anxious for her race,
Begs, for each birth, the fortune of a face:
Yet VANE could tell, what ills from beauty spring;
And SEDLEY curs'd the charms which pleas'd a king.

Lord Hailes told him, he was mistaken in the instances he had given of
unfortunate fair ones; for neither Vane nor Sedley had a title to that
description. His Lordship has since been so obliging as to send me a
note of this, for the communication of which I am sure my readers will
thank me.

The lines in the tenth Satire of Juvenal, according to my alteration,
should have run thus:

Yet SHORE [Footnote: Mistress of Edward IV.] could tell--;
And VALIERE [Footnote: Mistress of Louis XIV.] curs'd--.

The first was a penitent by compulsion, the second by sentiment;
though the truth is, Mademoiselle de la Valiere threw herself (but
still from sentiment) in the King's way.

'Our friend chose Vane, who was far from being well-looked; and
Sedley, who was so ugly, that Charles II said, his brother had her by
way of penance.'

Mr Maclaurin's learning and talents enabled him to do his part very
well in Dr Johnson's company. He produced two epitaphs upon his
father, the celebrated mathematician. One was in English, of which Dr
Johnson did not change one word. In the other, which was in Latin, he
made several alterations. In place of the very words of Virgil, Ubi
luctus et pavor et plurima mortis imago, he wrote Ubi luctus regnant
et pavor. He introduced the word prorsus into the line Mortalibus
prorsus non absit solatium and after Hujus enim scripta evolve, he
added, Mentemque tantarum rerum capacem corpori caduco superstitem
crede; which is quite applicable to Dr Johnson himself. [Footnote: Mr
Maclaurin's epitaph, as engraved on a marble tombstone, in the
Gray-Friars church-yard, Edinburgh:

Infra situs est
COLIN MACLAURIN
Mathes. olim in Acad. Edin. Prof.
Electus ipso Newtono suadente.
H. L. P. F.
Non ut nomini paterno consulat,
Nam tali auxilio nil eget;
Sed ut in hoc infelici campo,
Ubi luctus regnant et pavor,
Mortalibus prorsus non absit solatium:
Hujus enim scripta evolve,
Mentemque tantarum rerum capacem
Corpori caduco superstitem crede.]

Mr Murray, advocate, who married a niece of Lord Mansfield's and is
now one of the Judges of Scotland, by the title of Lord Henderland,
sat with us a part of the evening; but did not venture to say any
thing, that I remember, though he is certainly possessed of talents
which would have enabled him to have shewn himself to advantage, if
too great anxiety had not prevented him.

At supper we had Dr Alexander Webster, who, though not learned, had
such a knowledge of mankind, such a fund of information and
entertainment, so clear a head and such accommodating manners, that Dr
Johnson found him a very agreeable companion.

When Dr Johnson and I were left by ourselves, I read to him my notes
of the opinions of our Judges upon the questions of Literary Property.
He did not like them; and said, 'they make me think of your Judges not
with that respect which I should wish to do'. To the argument of one
of them, that there can be no property in blasphemy or nonsense, he
answered, 'then your rotten sheep are mine! By that rule, when a man's
house falls into decay, he must lose it.' I mentioned an argument of
mine, that literary performances are not taxed. As Churchill says,

No statesman yet has thought it worth his pains
To tax our labours, or excite our brains;

and therefore they are not property. 'Yet,' said he, 'we hang a man
for stealing a horse, and horses are not taxed.' Mr Pitt has since put
an end to that argument.

Wednesday, 18th August

On this day we set out from Edinburgh. We should gladly have had Mr
Scott to go with us; but he was obliged to return to England. I have
given a sketch of Dr Johnson: my readers may wish to know a little of
his fellow traveller. Think then, of a gentleman of ancient blood, the
pride of which was his predominant passion. He was then in his
thirty-third year, and had been about four years happily married. His
inclination was to be a soldier; but his father, a respectable judge,
had pressed him into the profession of the law. He had travelled a
good deal, and seen many varieties of human life. He had thought more
than any body supposed, and had a pretty good stock of general
learning and knowledge. He had all Dr Johnson's principles, with some
degree of relaxation. He had rather too little, than too much
prudence, and, his imagination being lively, he often said things of
which the effect was very different from the intention. He resembled
sometimes

The best good man, with the worst natur'd muse.

He cannot deny himself the vanity of finishing with the encomium of Dr
Johnson, whose friendly partiality to the companion of his Tour
represents him as one, 'whose acuteness would help my inquiry, and
whose gaiety of conversation, and civility of manners, are sufficient
to counteract the inconveniences of travel, in countries less
hospitable than we have passed.'

Dr Johnson thought it unnecessary to put himself to the additional
expense of bringing with him Francis Barber, his faithful black
servant; so we were attended only by my man, Joseph Ritter, a
Bohemian; a fine stately fellow above six feet high, who had been over
a great part of Europe, and spoke many languages. He was the best
servant I ever saw. Let not my readers disdain his introduction! For
Dr Johnson gave him this character: 'Sir, he is a civil man, and a
wise man.'

From an erroneous apprehension of violence, Dr Johnson had provided a
pair of pistols, some gun-powder, and a quantity of bullets: but upon
being assured we should run no risk of meeting any robbers, he left
his arms and ammunition in an open drawer, of which he gave my wife
the charge. He also left in that drawer one volume of a pretty full
and curious Diary of his Life, of which I have a few fragments; but
the book has been destroyed. I wish female curiosity had been strong
enough to have had it all transcribed, which might easily have been
done; and I should think the theft, being pro bono publico, might have
been forgiven. But I may be wrong. My wife told me she never once
looked into it. She did not seem quite easy when we left her: but away
we went!

Mr Nairne, advocate, was to go with us as far as St Andrews. It gives
me pleasure that, by mentioning his name, I connect his title to the
just and handsome compliment paid him by Dr Johnson, in his book: 'A
gentleman who could stay with us only long enough to make us know how
much we lost by his leaving us.' When we came to Leith, I talked with
perhaps too boasting an air, how pretty the Frith of Forth looked; as
indeed, after the prospect from Constantinople, of which I have been
told, and that from Naples, which I have seen, I believe the view of
that Frith and its environs, from the Castle Hill of Edinburgh, is the
finest prospect in Europe. 'Ay,' said Dr Johnson, 'that is the state
of the world. Water is the same every where.

Una est injusti caerula forma maris. [Footnote: Non illic urbes, non
tu mirabere silvas: Una est injusti caerula forma maris.

Ovid. Amor. II. xi.

Nor groves nor towns the ruthless ocean shows;
Unvaried still its azure surface flows.]

I told him the port here was the mouth of the river or water of Leith.
'Not LETHE,' said Mr Nairne. 'Why, sir,' said Dr Johnson, 'when a
Scotchman sets out from this port for England, he forgets his native
country.' NAIRNE. 'I hope, sir, you will forget England here.'
JOHNSON. 'Then 'twill be still more Lethe.' He observed of the pier or
quay, 'you have no occasion for so large a one: your trade does not
require it: but you are like a shopkeeper who takes a shop, not only
for what he has to put into it, but that it may be believed he has a
great deal to put into it'. It is very true, that there is now,
comparatively, little trade upon the eastern coast of Scotland. The
riches of Glasgow shew how much there is in the west; and perhaps we
shall find trade travel westward on a great scale, as well as a small.

We talked of a man's drowning himself. JOHNSON. 'I should never think
it time to make away with myself.' I put the case of Eustace Budgell,
who was accused of forging a will, and sunk himself in the Thames,
before the trial of its authenticity came on. 'Suppose, sir,' said I,
'that a man is absolutely sure, that, if he lives a few days longer,
he shall be detected in a fraud, the consequence of which will be
utter disgrace and expulsion from society.' JOHNSON. 'Then, sir, let
him go abroad to a distant country; let him go to some place where he
is NOT known. Don't let him go to the devil where he IS known!'

He then said, 'I see a number of people bare-footed here: I suppose
you all went so before the Union. Boswell, your ancestors went so,
when they had as much land as your family has now. Yet Auchinleck is
the Field of Stones: there would be bad going bare-footed here. The
lairds, however, did it.' I bought some speldings, fish (generally
whitings) salted and dried in a particular manner, being dipped in the
sea and dried in the sun, and eaten by the Scots by way of a relish.
He had never seen them, though they are sold in London. I insisted on
scottifying [Footnote: My friend, General Campbell, Governour of
Madras, tells me, that they make speldings in the East Indies,
particularly at Bombay, where they call them Bambaloes.] his palate;
but he was very reluctant. With difficulty I prevailed with him to let
a bit of one of them lie in his mouth. He did not like it.

In crossing the Frith, Dr Johnson determined that we should land upon
Inch Keith. On approaching it, we first observed a high rocky shore.
We coasted about, and put into a little bay on the north-west. We
clambered up a very steep ascent, on which was very good grass, but
rather a profusion of thistles. There were sixteen head of black
cattle grazing upon the island. Lord Hailes observed to me, that
Brantome calls it L'isle des Chevaux, and that it was probably 'a
SAFER stable' than many others in his time. The fort, with an
inscription on it, MARIA RE 1564, is strongly built. Dr Johnson
examined it with much attention. He stalked like a giant among the
luxuriant thistles and nettles. There are three wells in the island;
but we could not find one in the fort. There must probably have been
one, though now filled up, as a garrison could not subsist without it.
But I have dwelt too long on this little spot. Dr Johnson afterwards
bade me try to write a description of our discovering Inch Keith, in
the usual style of travellers, describing fully every particular;
stating the grounds on which we concluded that it must have once been
inhabited, and introducing many sage reflections; and we should see
how a thing might be covered in words, so as to induce people to come
and survey it. All that was told might be true, and yet in reality
there might be nothing to see. He said, 'I'd have this island. I'd
build a house, make a good landing-place, have a garden, and vines,
and all sorts of trees. A rich man, of a hospitable turn, here, would
have many visitors from Edinburgh.' When we had got into our boat
again, he called to me, 'Come, now, pay a classical compliment to the
island on quitting it.' I happened luckily, in allusion to the
beautiful Queen Mary, whose name is upon the fort, to think of what
Virgil makes Aeneas say, on having left the country of his charming
Dido:

Invitus, regina, tuo de littare cessi. [Footnote: Unhappy queen!
Unwilling I forsook your friendly state. DRYDEN]

'Very well hit off!' said he.

We dined at Kinghorn, and then got into a post-chaise. Mr Nairne and
his servant, and Joseph, rode by us. We stopped at Cupar, and drank
tea. We talked of Parliament; and I said, I supposed very few of the
members knew much of what was going on, as indeed very few gentlemen
know much of their own private affairs. JOHNSON. 'Why, sir, if a man
is not of a sluggish mind, he may be his own steward. If he will look
into his affairs, he will soon learn. So it is as to publick affairs.
There must always be a certain number of men of business in
Parliament.' BOSWELL. 'But consider, sir; what is the House of
Commons? Is not a great part of it chosen by peers? Do you think, sir,
they ought to have such an influence?' JOHNSON. 'Yes, sir. Influence
must ever be in proportion to property; and it is right it should.'
BOSWELL. 'But is there not reason to fear that the common people may
be oppressed?' JOHNSON. 'No, sir. Our great fear is from want of power
in government. Such a storm of vulgar force has broke in.' BOSWELL.
'It has only roared.' JOHNSON. 'Sir, it has roared, till the Judges in
Westminster Hall have been afraid to pronounce sentence in opposition
to the popular cry. You are frightened by what is no longer dangerous,
like Presbyterians by popery.' He then repeated a passage, I think, in
Butler's Remains, which ends, 'and would cry, Fire! Fire! in Noah's
flood'. [Footnote: The passage quoted by Dr Johnson is in the
Character of the Assembly-man. Butler's Remains, p. 232, edit. 1754.
'He preaches, indeed, both in season and out of season; for he rails
at Popery, when the land is almost lost in Presbytery; and would cry
Fire! Fire! in Noah's flood.'

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