Constant - "The Private Life of Napoleon Bonaparte, v4"

James Sheridan Knowles - "The Love Chase"

Charlotte M. Yonge - "Magnum Bonum"

Henry James - "The Point of View"

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"Who, instead of instructing the young suckers that cling to their
sides in just notions of general social distinctions, nurture their
young antipathies with pettish philippics against some luckless
chief of the adverse party;--"

"Tis pretty much the same at Stunnin'tun, as I live!"

"Who rarely study the great lessons of history in order to point out
to the future statesmen and heroes of the empire the beacons of
crime, the incentives for public virtue, or the charters of their
liberties; but who are indefatigable in echoing the cry of the hour,
however false or vulgar, and who humanize their attentive offspring
by softly expressed wishes that Mr. Canning, or some other
frustrator of the designs of their friends, were fairly hanged!"

"Stunnin'tun, all over!"

"Beings that are angels in form--soft, gentle, refined, and tearful
as the evening with its dews, when there is a question of humanity
or suffering; but who seem strangely transformed into she-tigers,
whenever any but those of whom they can approve attain to power; and
who, instead of entwining their soft arms around their husbands and
brothers, to restrain them from the hot strife of opinions, cheer
them on by their encouragement and throw dirt with the volubility
and wit of fish-women."

"Miss Poke, to the backbone!"

"In short, sir, I expect to see an entirely different state of
things at Leaplow. There, when a political adversary is bespattered
with mud, your gentle monikinas, doubtless, appease anger by mild
soothings of philosophy, tempering zeal by wisdom, and regulating
error by apt and unanswerable quotations from that great charter
which is based on the eternal and immutable principles of right."

"Well, Sir John, if you speak in this elocutionary manner in the
house," cried the delighted Noah, "I shall be shy of answering. I
doubt, now, if the brigadier himself could repeat all you have just
said."

"I have forgotten to inquire, Mr. Downright, a little about your
Leaplow constituency. The suffrage is, beyond question, confined to
those members of society who possess a 'social stake.'"

"Certainly, Sir John, They who live and breathe."

"Surely none vote but those who possess the money, and houses, and
lands of the country?"

"Sir, you are altogether in error; all vote who possess ears, and
eyes, and noses, and bobs, and lives, and hopes, and wishes, and
feelings, and wants. Wants we conceive to be a much truer test of
political fidelity, than possessions."

"This is novel doctrine, indeed! but it is in direct hostility to
the social-stake system."

"You were never more right, Sir John, as respects your own theory,
or never more wrong as respects the truth. In Leaplow we contend--
and contend justly--that there is no broader or bolder fallacy than
to say that a representation of mere effects, whether in houses,
lands, merchandise, or money, is a security for a good government.
Property is affected by measures; and the more a monikin has, the
greater is the bribe to induce him to consult his own interests,
although it should be at the expense of those of everybody else."

"But, sir, the interest of the community is composed of the
aggregate of these interests."

"Your pardon, Sir John; nothing is composed of it, but the aggregate
of the interests of a class. If your government is instituted for
their benefit only, your social-stake system is all well enough; but
if the object be the general good, you have no choice but to trust
its custody to the general keeping. Let us suppose two men--since
you happen to be a man, and not a monikin--let us suppose two men
perfectly equal in morals, intelligence, public virtue and
patriotism, one of whom shall be rich and the other shall have
nothing. A crisis arrives in the affairs of their common country,
and both are called upon to exercise their franchise, on a question-
-as almost all great questions must--that unavoidably will have some
influence on property generally. Which would give the most impartial
vote--he who, of necessity, must be swayed by his personal interest,
or he who has no inducement of the sort to go astray?"

"Certainly he who has nothing to influence him to go wrong. But the
question is not fairly put--"

"Your pardon, Sir John--it is put fairly as an abstract question,
and one that is to prove a principle. I am glad to hear you say that
a man would be apt to decide in this manner; for it shows his
identity with a monikin. We hold that all of us are apt to think
most of ourselves on such occasions."

"My dear brigadier, do not mistake sophistry for reason. Surely, if
power belonged only to the poor--and the poor, or the comparatively
poor, always compose the mass--they would exercise it in a way to
strip the rich of their possessions."

"We think not, in Leaplow. Cases might exist, in which such a state
of things would occur under a reaction; but reactions imply abuses,
and are not to be quoted to maintain a principle. He who was drunk
yesterday, may need an unnatural stimulus to-day; while he who is
uniformly temperate preserves his proper tone of body without
recourse to a remedy so dangerous. Such an experiment, under a
strong provocation, might possibly be made; but it could scarcely be
made twice among any people, and not even once among a people that
submits in season to a just division of its authority, since it is
obviously destructive of a leading principle of civilization.
According to our monikin histories, all the attacks upon property
have been produced by property's grasping at more than fairly
belongs to its immunities. If you make political power a concomitant
of property, both may go together, certainly; but if kept separate,
the danger to the latter will never exceed the danger in which it is
put daily by the arts of the money-getters, who are, in truth, the
greatest foes of property, as it belongs to others."

I remembered Sir Joseph Job, and could not but admit that the
brigadier had, at least, some truth on his side.

"But do you deny that the sentiment of property elevates the mind,
ennobles, and purifies?"

"Sir, I do not pretend to determine what may be the fact among men,
but we hold among monikins, that 'the love of money is the root of
all evil.'"

"How, sir, do you account the education which is a consequence of
property as nothing?"

"If you mean, my dear Sir John, that which property is most apt to
teach, we hold it to be selfishness; but if you mean that he who has
money, as a rule, will also have in formation to guide him aright, I
must answer, that experience, which is worth a thousand theories,
tells us differently. We find that on questions which are purely
between those who have, and those who have not, the HAVES are
commonly united, and we think this would be the fact if they were as
unschooled as bears; but on all other questions, they certainly do
great discredit to education, unless you admit that there are in
every case TWO rights; for, with us, the most highly educated
generally take the two extremes of every argument. I state this to
be the fact with monikins, you will remember--doubtless, educated
men agree much better."

"But, my good brigadier, if your position about the greater
impartiality and independence of the elector who is not influenced
by his private interests be true, a country would do well to submit
its elections to a body of foreign umpires."

"It would indeed, Sir John, if it were certain these foreign umpires
would not abuse the power to their own particular advantage, if they
could have the feelings and sentiments which ennoble and purify a
nation far more than money, and if it were possible they could
thoroughly understand the character, habits, wants, and resources of
another people. As things are, therefore, we believe it is wisest to
trust our own elections to ourselves--not to a portion of ourselves,
but to all of ourselves."

"Immigrants included," put in the captain.

"Why, we do carry the principle well out in the case of gentlemen
like yourselves," returned the brigadier, politely, "but liberality
is a virtue. As a principle, Sir John, your idea of referring the
choice of our representatives to strangers has more merit than you
probably imagine, though, certainly, impracticable, for the reasons
already given. When we seek justice, we commonly look out for some
impartial judge. Such a judge is unattainable, however, in the
matter of the interests of a state, for the simple reason that power
of this sort, permanently wielded, would be perverted on a principle
which, after a most scrupulous analysis, we have been compelled to
admit is incorporated with the very monikin nature--viz.,
selfishness. I make no manner of doubt that you men, however, are
altogether superior to an influence so unworthy?"

Here I could only borrow the use of the brigadier's "Hum!"

"Having ascertained that it would not do to submit the control of
our affairs to utter strangers, or to those whose interests are not
identified with our own, we set about seeing what could be done with
a selection from among ourselves. Here we were again met by that
same obstinate principle of selfishness; and we were finally driven
to take shelter in the experiment of intrusting the interests of all
to the management of all."

"And, sir, are these the opinions of Leaphigh?"

"Very far from it. The difference between Leaphigh and Leaplow is
just this: the Leaphighers, being an ancient people, with a thousand
vested interests, are induced, as time improves the mind, to seek
reasons for their facts; while we Leaplowers, being unshackled by
any such restraints, have been able to make an effort to form our
facts on our reasons."

"Why do you, then, so much prize Leaphigh opinions on Leaplow
facts?"

"Why does every little monikin believe his own father and mother to
be just the two wisest, best, most virtuous, and discreetest old
monikins in the whole world, until time, opportunity, and experience
show him his error?"

"Do you make no exceptions, then, in your franchise, but admit every
citizen who, as you say, has a nose, ears, bob, and wants, to the
exercise of the suffrage?"

"Perhaps we are less scrupulous on this head than we ought to be,
since we do not make ignorance and want of character bars to the
privilege. Qualifications beyond mere birth and existence may be
useful, but they are badly chosen when they are brought to the test
of purely material possessions. This practice has arisen in the
world from the fact that they who had property had power, and not
because they ought to have it."

"My dear brigadier, this is flying in the face of all experience."

"For the reason just given, and because all experience has hitherto
commenced at the wrong end. Society should be constructed as you
erect a house; not from the roof down, but from the foundation
upwards."

"Admitting, however, that your house has been badly constructed at
first, in repairing it, would you tear away the walls at random, at
the risk of bringing all down about your ears?"

"I would first see that sufficient props were reared, and then
proceed with vigor, though always with caution. Courage in such an
experiment is less to be dreaded than timidity. Half the evils of
life, social, personal and political, are as much the effects of
moral cowardice as of fraud."

I then told the brigadier, that as his countrymen rejected the
inducements of property in the selection of the political base of
their social compact, I expected to find a capital substitute in
virtue.

"I have always heard that virtue is the great essential of a free
people, and doubtless you Leaplowers are perfect models in this
important particular?"

The brigadier smiled before he answered me, first looking about to
the right and left, as if to regale himself with the odor of
perfection.

"Many theories have been broached on these subjects," he replied,
"in which there has been some confusion between cause and effect.
Virtue is no more a cause of freedom, except as it is connected with
intelligence, than vice is a cause of slavery. Both may be
consequences, but it is not easy to say how either is necessarily a
cause. There is a homely saying among us monikins, which is quite to
the point in this matter: 'Set a rogue to catch a rogue.' Now, the
essence of a free government is to be found in the responsibility of
its agents. He who governs without responsibility is a master, while
he who discharges the duties of a functionary under a practical
responsibility is a servant. This is the only true test of
governments, let them be mystified as they may in other respects.
Responsibility to the mass of the nation is the criterion of
freedom. Now responsibility is the SUBSTITUTE for virtue in a
politician, as discipline is the substitute for courage in a
soldier. An army of brave monikins without discipline, would be very
apt to be worsted by an army of monikins of less natural spirit,
with discipline. So a corps of originally virtuous politicians,
without responsibility, would be very apt to do more selfish,
lawless, and profligate acts, than a corps of less virtue, who were
kept rigidly under the rod of responsibility. Unrestrained power is
a great corrupter of virtue, of itself; while the liabilities of a
restrained authority are very apt to keep it in check. At least,
such is the fact with us monikins--men very possibly get along
better."

"Let me tell you, Mr. Downright, you are now uttering opinions that
are diametrically opposed to those of the world, which considers
virtue an indispensable ingredient in a republic."

"The world--meaning always the monikin world--knows very little
about real political liberty, except as a theory. We of Leaplow are,
in effect, the only people who have had much to do with it, and I am
now telling you what is the result of my own observation, in my own
country. If monikins were purely virtuous, there would be no
necessity for government at all; but, being what they are, we think
it wisest to set them to watch each other."

"But yours is self-government, which implies self-restraint; and
self-restraint is but another word for virtue."

"If the merit of our system depended on self-government, in your
signification, or on self-restraint, in any signification, it would
not be worth the trouble of this argument, Sir John Goldencalf. This
is one of those balmy fallacies with which ill-judging moralists
endeavor to stimulate monikins to good deeds. Our government is
based on a directly opposite principle; that of watching and
restraining each other, instead of trusting to our ability to
restrain ourselves. It is the want of responsibility, and not of
constant and active presence, which infers virtue and self-control.
No one would willingly lay legal restraints on himself in anything,
while all are very happy to restrain their neighbors. This refers to
the positive and necessary rules of intercourse, and the
establishment of rights; as to mere morality, laws do very little
towards enforcing its ordinances. Morals usually come of
instruction; and when all have political power, instruction is a
security that all desire."

"But when all vote, all may wish to abuse their trust to their own
especial advantage, and a political chaos will be the consequence."

"Such a result is impossible, except as especial advantage is
identified with general advantage. A community can no more buy
itself in this manner, than a monikin can eat himself, let him be as
ravenous as he will. Admitting that all are rogues, necessity would
compel a compromise."

"You make out a plausible theory, and I have little doubt that I
shall find you the wisest, the most logical, the discreetest, and
the most consistent community I have yet visited. But another word:
how is it that our friend the judge gave such equivocal instructions
to his charge; and why, in particular, did he lay so much stress on
the employment of means, which gave the lie flatly to all you have
told me?"

Brigadier Downright hereupon stroked his chin, and observed that he
thought there might possibly be a shift of wind; and he also
wondered (quite audibly), when we should make the land. I afterwards
persuaded him to allow that a monikin was but a monikin, after all,
whether he had the advantages of universal suffrage, or lived under
a despot.




CHAPTER XXIV.

AN ARRIVAL--AN ELECTION--ARCHITECTURE--A ROLLING-PIN, AND PATRIOTISM
OF THE MOST APPROVED WATER.


In due time the coast of Leaplow made its appearance, close under
our larboard bow. So sudden was our arrival in this novel and
extraordinary country, that we were very near running on it, before
we got a glimpse of its shores. The seamanship of Captain Poke,
however, stood us in hand; and, by the aid of a very clever pilot,
we were soon safely moored in the harbor of Bivouac. In this happy
land, there was no registration, no passports, "no nothin'"--as Mr.
Poke pointedly expressed it. The formalities were soon observed,
although I had occasion to remark, how much easier, after all, it is
to get along in this world with vice than with virtue. A bribe
offered to a custom-house officer was refused; and the only trouble
I had, on the occasion, arose from this awkward obtrusion of a
conscience. However, the difficulty was overcome, though not quite
as easily as if douceurs had happened to be in fashion; and we were
permitted to land with all our necessary effects.

The city of Bivouac presented a singular aspect as I first put foot
within its hallowed streets. The houses were all covered with large
placards, which, at first, I took to be lists of the wares to be
vended, for the place is notoriously commercial; but which, on
examination, I soon discovered were merely electioneering handbills.
The reader will figure to himself my pleasure and surprise, on
reading the first that offered. It ran as follows:

"HORIZONTAL NOMINATION.

"Horizontal-Systematic-Indoctrinated-Republicans: Attention!

"Your sacred rights are in danger; your dearest liberties are
menaced; your wives and children are on the point of dissolution;
the infamous and unconstitutional position that the sun gives light
by day, and the moon by night, is openly and impudently propagated,
and now is the only occasion that will probably ever offer to arrest
an error so pregnant with deception and domestic evils. We present
to your notice a suitable defender of all those near and dear
interests, in the person of"

"JOHN GOLDENCALF,"

"the known patriot, the approved legislator, the profound
philosopher, the incorruptible statesman. To our adopted fellow-
citizens we need not recommend Mr. Goldencalf, for he is truly one
of themselves; to the native citizens we will only say, 'Try him,
and you will be more than satisfied.'"

I found this placard of great use, for it gave me the first
information I had yet had of the duty I was expected to perform in
the coming session of the great council; which was merely to
demonstrate that the moon gave light by day, and that the sun gave
light by night. Of course, I immediately set about, in my own mind,
hunting up the proper arguments by which this grave political
hypothesis was to be properly maintained. The next placard was in
favor

"NOAH POKE,"

"the experienced navigator, who will conduct the ship of state into
the haven of prosperity--the practical astronomer who knows by
frequent observations, that lunars are not to be got in the dark."

"Perpendiculars, be plumb, and lay your enemies on their backs!"

After this I fell in with--

"THE HONORABLE ROBERT SMUT,"

"is confidently recommended to all their fellow-citizens by the
nominating committee of the Anti-Approved-Sublimated-Politico-
Tangents, as the real gentleman, a ripe scholar, [Footnote: I
afterwards found this was a common phrase in Leaplow, being
uniformly applied to every monikin who wore spectacles.] an
enlightened politician, and a sound Democrat."

"But I should fill the manuscript with nothing else, were I to record
a tithe of the commendations and abuse that were heaped on us all,
by a community to whom, as yet, we were absolutely strangers. A
single sample of the latter will suffice."

"AFFIDAVIT."

"Personally appeared before me, John Equity, justice of the peace,
Peter Veracious, etc., etc., who, being duly sworn upon the Holy
Evangelists, doth depose and say, viz.: That he was intimately
acquainted with one John Goldencalf in his native country, and that
he is personally knowing to the fact that he, the said John
Goldencalf, has three wives, seven illegitimate children, is
moreover a bankrupt without character, and that he was obliged to
emigrate in consequence of having stolen a sheep."

"Sworn, etc."

"(Signed,) PETER VERACIOUS."

I naturally felt a little indignant at this impudent statement, and
was about to call upon the first passer-by for the address of Mr.
Veracious, when the skirts of my skin were seized by one of the
Horizontal nominating committee, and I was covered with
congratulations on my being happily elected. Success is an admirable
plaster for all wounds, and I really forgot to have the affair of
the sheep and of the illegitimate children inquired into; although I
still protest, that had fortune been less propitious, the rascal who
promulgated this calumny would have been made to smart for his
temerity. In less than five minutes it was the turn of Captain Poke.
He, too, was congratulated in due form; for, as it appeared, the
"immigrant interest," as Noah termed it, had actually carried a
candidate on each of the two great opposing tickets. Thus far, all
was well; for, after sharing his mess so long, I had not the
smallest objection to sit in the Leaplow parliament with the worthy
sealer; but our mutual surprise, and I believe I might add,
indignation, were a good deal excited, by shortly encountering a
walking notice, which contained a programme of the proceedings to be
observed at the "Reception of the Honorable Robert Smut."

It would seem that the Horizontals and the Perpendiculars had made
so many spurious and mystified ballots, in order to propitiate the
Tangents, and to cheat each other, that this young blackguard
actually stood at the head of the poll!--a political phenomenon, as
I subsequently discovered, however, by no means of rare occurrence
in the Leaplow history of the periodical selection of the wisest and
best.

There was certainly an accumulation of interest on arriving in a
strange land, to find one's self both extolled and vituperated on
most of the corners in its capital, and to be elected to its
parliament, all in the same day. Still, I did not permit myself to
be either so much elated or so much depressed, as not to have all my
eyes about me, in order to get as correctly as possible, and as
quickly as possible, some insight into the characters, tastes,
habits, wishes, and wants of my constituents.

I have already declared that it is my intention to dwell chiefly on
the moral excellences and peculiarities of the people of the monikin
world. Still I could not walk through the streets of Bivouac without
observing a few physical usages, that I shall mention, because they
have an evident connection with the state of society, and the
historical recollections of this interesting portion of the polar
region.

In the first place, I remarked that all sorts of quadrupeds are just
as much at home in the promenades of the town, as the inhabitants
themselves, a fact that I make no doubt has some very proper
connection with that principle of equal rights on which the
institutions of the country are established. In the second place, I
could not but see that their dwellings are constructed on the very
minimum of base, propping each other, as emblematic of the mutual
support obtained by the republican system, and seeking their
development in height for the want of breadth; a singularity of
customs that I did not hesitate at once to refer to a usage of
living in trees, at an epoch not very remote. In the third place, I
noted, instead of entering their dwellings near the ground like men,
and indeed like most other unfledged animals, that they ascend by
means of external steps to an aperture about half-way between the
roof and the earth, where, having obtained admission, they go up or
down within the building, as occasion requires. This usage, I made
no question, was preserved from the period (and that, too, no
distant one), when the savage condition of the country induced them
to seek protection against the ravages of wild beasts, by having
recourse to ladders, which were drawn up after the family into the
top of the tree, as the sun sank beneath the horizon. These steps or
ladders are generally of some white material, in order that they
may, even now, be found in the dark, should the danger be urgent;
although I do not know that Bivouac is a more disorderly or unsafe
town than another, in the present day. But habits linger in the
usages of a people, and are often found to exist as fashions, long
after the motive of their origin has ceased and been forgotten. As a
proof of this, many of the dwellings of Bivouac have still enormous
iron chevaux-de-frise before the doors, and near the base of the
stone-ladders; a practice unquestionably taken from the original,
unsophisticated, domestic defences of this wary and enterprising
race. Among a great many of these chevaux-de-frise, I remarked
certain iron images, that resemble the kings of chess-men, and which
I took, at first, to be symbols of the calculating qualities of the
owners of the mansions--a species of republican heraldry--but which
the brigadier told me, on inquiry, were no more than a fashion that
had descended from the custom of having stuffed images before the
doors, in the early days of the settlement, to frighten away the
beasts at night, precisely as we station scarecrows in a corn-field.
Two of these well-padded sentinels, with a stick stuck up in a fire-
lock attitude, he assured me, had often been known to maintain a
siege of a week, against a she-bear and a numerous family of hungry
cubs, in the olden times; and, now that the danger was gone, he
presumed the families which had caused these iron monuments to be
erected, had done so to record some marvellous risks of this nature,
from which their forefathers had escaped by means of so ingenious an
expedient.