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"We sha'nt go so fast for our armor," observed the cautious old
sealer; "but what we want in heels, we'll make up in bottom."

For the whole of that day we worked our devious course, by great
labor and at uncertain intervals, to the southward; and at night we
fastened the Walrus to a floe, in waiting for the return of light.
Just as the day dawned, however, I heard a tremendous grating sound
against the side of the vessel; and rushing on deck, I found that we
were completely caught between two immense fields, which seemed to
be attracted towards each other for no other apparent purpose than
to crush us. Here it was that the expedient of Captain Poke made
manifest its merits. Protected by the massive timbers and false
ribs, the bilge of the ship resisted the pressure; and as, under
such circumstances, something must yield, luckily nothing but the
attraction of gravitation was overcome. The skids, through their
inclination, acted as wedges, the links pressing against the keel;
and in the course of an hour the Walrus was gradually lifted out of
the water, maintaining her upright position, in consequence of the
powerful nip of the floes. No sooner was this experiment handsomely
effected, than Mr. Poke jumped upon the ice, and commenced an
examination of the ship's bottom.

"Here's a dry-dock for you, Sir John!" exclaimed the old sealer,
chuckling. "I'll have a patent for this, the moment I put foot ag'in
in Stunin'tun."

A feeling of security, to which I had been a stranger ever since we
entered the ice, was created by the composure of Noah, and by his
self-congratulation at what he called his project to get a look at
the Walrus's bottom. Notwithstanding all the fine declarations of
exultation and success, however, that he flourished among us who
were not mariners, I was much disposed to think that, like other men
of extraordinary genius, he had blundered on the grand result of his
"ice-screws," and that it was not foreseen and calculated. Let this
be as it may, however, all hands were soon on the floe, with brooms,
scrapers, hammers, and nails, and the opportunity of repairing and
cleaning was thoroughly improved.

For four-and-twenty hours the ship remained in the same attitude,
still as a church, and some of us began to entertain apprehensions
that she might be kept on her frozen blocks forever. The accident
had happened, according to the statements of Captain Poke, in lat.
78 degrees 13' 26"--although I never knew in what manner he
ascertained the important particular of our precise situation.
Thinking it might be well to get some more accurate ideas on this
subject, after so long and ticklish a run, I procured the quadrant
from Bob Ape, and brought it down upon the ice, where I made it a
point, as an especial favor, the weather being favorable and the
proper hour near, that our commander would correct his instinct by a
solar observation. Noah protested that your old seaman, especially
if a sealer and a Stunin'tunner, had no occasion for such geometry
operations, as he termed them; that it might be well enough, perhaps
necessary, for your counting-house, silk-gloved captains, who run
between New York and Liverpool, to be rubbing up their glasses and
polishing their sextants, for they hardly ever knew where they were,
except at such times; but as for himself, he had little need of
turning star-gazer at his time of life, and that as he had already
told me, he was getting to be near-sighted, and had some doubts
whether he could discern an object like the sun, that was known to
be so many thousands of millions of miles from the earth. These
scruples, however, were overcome by my cleaning the glasses,
preparing a barrel for him to stand on, that he might be at the
customary elevation above his horizon, and putting the instrument
into his hands, the mates standing near, ready to make the
calculations when he gave the sun's declination.

"We are drifting south'ard, I know," said Mr. Poke before he
commenced his sight--"I feel it in my bones. We are at this moment
in 79 degrees 36' 14."--having made a southerly drift of more than
eighty miles since yesterday noon. Now mind my words, and see what
the sun will say about it."

When the calculations were made, our latitude was found to be 79
degrees 35' 47". Noah was somewhat puzzled by the difference, for
which he could in no plausible way account, as the observation had
been unusually good and certain. But an opinionated and an ingenious
man is seldom at a loss to find a sufficient reason to establish his
own correctness, or to prove the mistakes of others.

"Ay, I see how it is," he said, after a little cogitation, "the sun
must be wrong--it should be no wonder if the sun did get a little
out of his track in these high, cold latitudes. Yes, yes; the sun
must be wrong."

I was too much delighted at being certain we were going on our
course to dispute the point, and the great luminary was abandoned to
the imputation of sometimes being in error. Dr. Reasono took
occasion to say, in my private ear, that there was a sect of
philosophers in Leaphigh, who had long distrusted the accuracy of
the planetary system, and who had even thrown out hints that the
earth, In its annual revolution, moved in a direction absolutely
contrary to that which nature had contemplated when she gave the
original polar impulse; but that, as regarded himself, he thought
very little of these opinions, as he had frequent occasion to
observe that there was a large class of monikins whose ideas always
went uphill.

For two more days and as many nights, we continued to drift with the
floes to the southward, or as near as might be, towards the haven of
our wishes. On the fourth morning, there was a suitable change in
the weather; both thermometer and barometer rose; the air became
more bland, and most of our cats and dogs, notwithstanding we were
still surrounded by the ice, began to cast their skins. Dr. Reasono
noted these signs, and stepping on the floe, he brought back with
him a considerable fragment of the frozen element. This was carried
to the camboose, where it was subjected to the action of fire,
which, within a given number of minutes, pretty much as a matter of
course, as I thought, caused it to melt. The whole process was
watched with an anxiety the most intense, by the whole of the
monikins, however; and when the result was announced, the amiable
and lovely Chatterissa clapped her pretty little pattes with joy,
and gave all the other natural indications of delight, which
characterize the emotions of that gentle sex of which she was so
bright an ornament. Dr. Reasono was not backwards in explaining the
cause of so much unusual exhilaration, for hitherto her manner had
been characterized by the well-bred and sophisticated restraint
which marks high training. The experiment had shown, by the
infallible and scientific tests of monikin chemistry, that we were
now within the influence of a steam-climate, and there could no
longer be any rational doubt of our eventual arrival in the polar
basin.

The result proved that the philosopher was right. About noon the
floes, which all that day had begun to assume what is termed a
"sloppy character," suddenly gave way, and the Walrus settled down
into her proper element, with great equanimity and propriety.
Captain Poke lost no time in unshipping the skids; and a smacking
breeze, that was well saturated with steam, springing up from the
westward, we made sail. Our course was due south, without regard to
the ice, which yielded before our bows like so much thick water, and
just as the sun set, we entered the open sea, rioting in the
luxuriance of its genial climate, in triumph.

Sail was carried on the ship all that night; and just as the day
dawned, we made the first mile-stone, a proof, not to be mistaken,
that we were now actually within the monikin region. Dr. Reasono had
the goodness to explain to us the history of these aquatic
phenomena. It would seem that when the earth exploded, its entire
crust, throughout the whole of this part of the world, was started
upwards in such a way as to give a very uniform depth to the sea,
which in no place exceeds four fathoms. It follows, as a
consequence, that no prevalence of northerly winds can force the
icebergs beyond 78 degrees of south latitude, as they invariably
ground on reaching the outer edge of the polar bank. The floes,
being thin, are melted of course; and thus, by this beneficent
prevention, the monikin world is kept entirely free from the very
danger to which a vulgar mind would be the most apt to believe it is
the most exposed.

A congress of nations had been held, about five centuries since,
which was called the Holy-philo-marine-safety-and-find-the-way
Alliance. At this congress the high contracting parties agreed to
name a commission to make provision, generally, for the secure
navigation of the seas. One of the expedients of this commission,
which, by the way, is said to have been composed of very illustrious
monikins, was to cause massive blocks of stone to be laid down, at
measured distances, throughout the whole of the basin, and in which
other stone uprights were secured. The necessary inscriptions were
graved on proper tablets, and as we approached the one already
named, I observed that it had the image of a monikin, carved also in
stone, with his tail extended in a right line, pointing, as Mr. Poke
assured me, S. and by W. half W. I had made sufficient progress in
the monikin language to read, as we glided past this watermark--"To
Leaphigh,--15 miles." One monikin mile, however, we were next told,
was equal to nine English statute miles; and, consequently, we were
not so near our port as was at first supposed. I expressed great
satisfaction at finding ourselves so fairly on the road, however,
and paid Dr. Reasono some well-merited compliments on the high state
of civilization to which his species had evidently arrived. The day
was not distant, I added, when it was reasonable to suppose, our own
seas would have floating restaurants and cafes, with suitable pot-
houses for the mariners; though I did not well see how we were to
provide a substitute for their own excellent organization of mile-
stones. The Doctor received my compliments with becoming modesty,
saying that he had no doubt mankind would do all that lay in their
power to have good eating and drinking-houses, whereever they could
be established; but as to the marine milestones, he agreed with me,
that there was little hope of their being planted, until the crust
of the earth should be driven upwards, so as to rise within four
fathoms of the surface of the water. On the other hand, Captain Poke
held this latter improvement very cheap. He affirmed it was no sign
of civilization at all, for, as a man became civilized, he had less
need of primers and finger-boards; and, as for Leaphigh, any
tolerable navigator could see it bore S. by W. half W. allowing for
variation, distant 135 English miles. To these objections I was
silent, for I had frequent occasion to observe that men very often
underrate any advantage of which they have come into the enjoyment
by a providential interposition.

Just as the sun was in the meridian, the cry of "land ahead" was
heard from aloft. The monikins were all smiles and gratitude; the
crew were excited by admiration and wonder; and as for myself, I was
literally ready to jump out of my skin, not only with delight, but,
in some measure also, from the exceeding warmth of the atmosphere.
Our cats and dogs began to uncase; Bob was obliged to unmask his
most exposed frontier, by removing the union-jack; and Noah himself
fairly appeared on deck in his shirt and night-cap. The amiable
strangers were too much occupied to be particular, and I slipped
into my state-room to change my toilet to a dress of thin silk, that
was painted to resemble the skin of a polar bear--a contradiction
between things that is much too common in our species ever to be
deemed out of fashion.

We neared the land with great rapidity, impelled by a steam-breeze,
and just as the sun sank in the horizon our anchor was let go, in
the outer harbor of the city of Aggregation.

CHAPTER XV.

AN ARRIVAL--FORMS OF RECEPTION--SEVERAL NEW CHRISTENINGS--AN
OFFICIAL DOCUMENT, AND TERRA FIRMA.

It is always agreeable to arrive safe, at the end of a long,
fatiguing, and hazardous journey. But the pleasure is considerably
augmented when the visit is paid to a novel region, with a steam-
climate, and which is peopled by a new species. My own satisfaction,
too was coupled with the reflection that I had been of real service
to four very interesting and well-bred strangers, who had been cast,
by an adverse fortune, into the hands of humanity, and who owed to
me a boon far more precious than life itself--a restoration to their
natural and acquired rights, their proper stations in society, and
sacred liberty! The reader will judge, therefore, with what inward
self-congratulation I now received the acknowledgments of the whole
monikin party, and listened to their most solemn protestations ever
to consider, not only all they might jointly and severally possess
in the way of estates and dignities, at my entire disposal, but
their persons as my slaves. Of course, I made as light as possible
of any little service I might have done them, protesting in my turn,
that I looked upon the whole affair more in the light of a party of
pleasure than a tax, reminding them that I had not only obtained an
insight into a new philosophy, but that I was already, thanks to the
decimal system, a tolerable proficient in their ancient and learned
language. These civilities were scarcely well over, before we were
boarded by the boat of the port-captain.

The arrival of a human ship was an event likely to create excitement
in a monikin country; and as our approach had been witnessed for
several hours, preparations had been made to give us a proper
reception. The section of the academy to whom is committed the
custody of the "Science of Indications," was hastily assembled by
order of the king, who, by the way, never speaks except through the
mouth of his oldest male first cousin, who, by the fundamental laws
of the realm, is held responsible for all his official acts (in
private, the king is allowed almost as many privileges as any other
monikin), and who, as is due to him in simple justice, is permitted
to exercise, in a public point of view, the functions of the eyes,
ears, nose, conscience, and tail of the monarch. The savans were
active, and as they proceeded with method, and on well-established
principles, their report was quickly made. It contained, as we
afterwards understood, seven sheets of premises, eleven of argument,
sixteen of conjecture, and two lines of deduction. This heavy draft
on the monikin intellect was duly achieved by dividing the work into
as many parts as there were members of the section present, viz.,
forty. The substance of their labors was, to say that the vessel in
sight was a strange vessel; that it came to a strange country, on a
strange errand, being manned by strangers; and that its objects were
more likely to be peaceful than warlike, since the glasses of the
academy did not enable them to discover any means of annoyance, with
the exception of certain wild beasts, who appeared, however, to be
peaceably occupied in working the ship. All this was sententiously
expressed in the purest monikin language. The effect of the report
was, to cause all hostile preparations to be abandoned.

No sooner did the boat of the port-captain return to the shore with
the news that the strange ship had arrived with my Lord Chatterino,
my Lady Chatterissa and Dr. Reasono than there was a general burst
of joy along the strand. In a very short time the king--alias his
eldest first cousin of the male gender--ordered the usual
compliments to be paid to his distinguished subjects. A deputation
of young lords the hopes of Leaphigh came off to receive their
colleague; whilst a bevy of beautiful maidens of noble birth crowded
around the smiling and graceful Chatterissa, gladdening her heart
with their caressing manners and felicitations. The noble pair left
us in separate boats, each attended by an appropriate escort. We
overlooked the little neglect of forgetting to take leave of us, for
joy had quite set them both beside themselves. Next came a long
procession composed of high numbers, all of the "brown-study color."
These learned and dignified persons were a deputation from the
academy, which had sent forth no less than forty of its number to
receive Dr. Reasono. The meeting between these loving friends of
monikinity and of knowledge, was conducted on the most approved
principles of reason. Each section (there are forty in the academy
of Leaphigh) made an address, to all of which the Doctor returned
suitable replies, always using exactly the same sentiments, but
varying the subject by transpositions, as dictionaries are known to
be composed by the ingenious combinations of the twenty-six letters
of the alphabet. Dr. Reasono withdrew with his coadjutors, to my
surprise paying not a whit more attention to Captain Poke and
myself, than would be paid in any highly-civilized country of
Christendom, on a similar occasion, by a collection of the learned,
to the accidental presence of two monkeys. I thought this augured
badly, and began to feel as became Sir John Goldencalf, Bart., of
Householder Hall, in the kingdom of Great Britain, when my
sensations were nipped in the bud by the arrival of the officers of
registration and circulation. It was the duty of the latter to give
us the proper passports to enter into and to circulate within the
country, after the former had properly enregistered our numbers and
colors, in such a way as to bring us within the reach of taxation.
The officer of registration was very expeditious from long practice.
He decided, at once, that I formed a new class by myself; of which,
of course, I was No. 1. The captain and his two mates formed
another, Nos. 1, 2, and 3. Bob had a class also to himself, and the
honors of No. 1; and the crew formed a fresh class, being numbered
according to height, as the register deemed their merits to be
altogether physical. Next came the important point of color, on
which depended the quality of the class or caste, the numbers merely
indicating our respective stations in the particular divisions.
After a good deal of deliberation, and many interrogatories, I was
enregistered as No. 1, flesh-color. Noah as No. 1, sea-water color,
and his mates 2 and 3, accordingly. Bob as No. 1, smut-color, and
the crew as Nos. 1, 2, 3, etc., tar-color. The officer now called
upon an assistant to come forth with a sort of knitting-needle
heated red-hot, in order to affix the official stamp to each in
succession. Luckily for us all, Noah happened to be the first to
whom the agent of the stamp-office applied, to uncase and to prepare
for the operation. The result was one of those bursts of eloquent
and logical vituperation, and of remonstrating outcries, to which
any new personal exaction never failed to give birth in the sealer.
His discourse on this occasion might be divided into the several
following heads, all of which were very ingeniously embellished by
the usual expletives and imagery:--"He was not a beast to be branded
like a horse, nor a slave to be treated like a Congo nigger; he saw
no use in applying the marks to men, who were sufficiently
distinguished from monkeys already; Sir John had a handle before his
name, and if he liked it, he might carry his name behind his body,
by way of counterpoise, but for his part, he wanted no outriggers of
the sort, being satisfied with plain Noah Poke; he was a republican,
and it was anti-republican for a man to carry about with him graven
images; he thought it might be even flying in the face of the
Scriptures, or what was worse, turning his back on them; he said
that the Walrus had her name, in good legible characters on her
starn, and that might answer for both of them; he protested, d--n
his eyes, that he wouldn't be branded like a thief; he incontinently
wished the keeper of the privy seal to the d---l; he insisted there
was no use in the practice, unless one threw all aback, and went
starn foremost into society, a rudeness at which human natur'
revolted; he knew a man in Stunin'tun who had five names, and he
should like to know what they would do with him, if this practice
should come into fashion there; he had no objection to a little
paint, but no red-hot knitting-needle should make acquaintance with
his flesh, so long as he walked his quarter-deck."

The keeper of the seals listened to this remonstrance with singular
patience and decorum; a forbearance that was probably owing to his
not understanding a word that had been said. But there is a language
that is universal, and it is not less easy to comprehend when a man
is in a passion, than it is to comprehend any other irritated
animal. The officer of the registration department, on this hint,
politely inquired of me, if some part of his official duties were
not particularly disagreeable to No. 1, sea-water color. On my
admitting that the captain was reluctant to be branded, he merely
shrugged his shoulders, and observed that the exactions of the
public were seldom agreeable, but that duty was duty, that the stamp
act was peremptory, and not a foot of ours could touch Leaphigh
until we were all checked off in this manner, in exact conformity
with the registration. I was much puzzled what to do, by this
indomitable purpose to perform his duty in the officer; for, to own
the truth, my own cuticle had quite as much aversion to the
operation, as of Captain Poke himself. It was not the principle so
much as the novelty of its application which distressed me; for I
had travelled too much not to know that a stranger rarely enters a
civilized country without being more or less skinned, the merest
savages only permitting him to pass unscathed. It suddenly came to
my recollection that the monikins had left all the remains of their
particular stores on board, consisting of an ample supply of
delicious nuts. Sending for a bag of the best of them, I ordered it
to be put into the register's boat, informing him at the same time,
that I was conscious they were quite unworthy of him, but that I
hoped, such as they were, he would allow me to make an offering of
them to his wife. This attention was properly felt and received; and
a few minutes afterwards, a certificate in the following words was
put into my hands, viz.:

"Leaphigh, season of promise, day of performance: Whereas, certain
persons of the human species have lately presented themselves to be
enregistered, according to the statute 'for the promotion of order
and classification, and for the collection of contributions'; and
whereas, these persons are yet in the second class of the animal
probation, and are more subject to bodily impressions than the
higher, or monikin species: Now, know all monikins, etc., that they
are stamped in paint, and that only by their numbers; each class
among them being easily to be distinguished from the others, by
outward and indelible proofs.

"Signed,

"No. 8,020 office-color."

I was told that all we had to do now was to mark ourselves with
paint or tar, as we might choose, the latter being recommended for
the crew; taking no further trouble than to number ourselves; and
when we went ashore, if any of the gens-d'armes inquired why we had
not the legal impression on our persons, which quite possibly would
be the case, as the law was absolute in its requisitions, all we had
to do was to show the certificate; but if the certificate was not
sufficient, we were men of the world, and understood the nature of
things so well, that we did not require to be taught so simple a
proposition in philosophy, as that which says, "like causes produce
like effects"; and he presumed I could not have so far overrated his
merits, as to have sent the whole of my nuts into his boat. I avow
that I was not very sorry to hear the officer throw out these hints,
for they convinced me that my journey through Leaphigh would be
accompanied with less embarrassment than I had anticipated, since I
now plainly perceived that monikins act on principles that are not
very essentially different from those of the human race in general.

The complaisant register and the keeper of the privy seal took their
departure together, when we forthwith proceeded to number ourselves
in compliance with his advice. As the principle was already settled,
we had no difficulty with its application, Noah, Bob, myself, and
the largest of the seamen being all Nos. 1, and the rest ranking in
order. By this time it was night. The guard-boats began to appear on
the water, and we deferred disembarking until morning.

All hands were early afoot. It had been arranged that Captain Poke
and myself, attended by Bob, as a domestic, were to land, in order
to make a journey through the island, while the Walrus was to be
left in charge of the mates and the crew; the latter having
permission to go ashore, from time to time, as is the practice with
all seamen in port. There was a great deal of preliminary scrubbing
and shaving, before the whole party could appear on deck, properly
attired for the occasion. Mr. Poke wore a thin dress of linen,
admirably designed to make him look like a sea-lion; a conceit that
he said was not only agreeable to his feelings and habits, but which
had a cool and pleasant character that was altogether suited to a
steam-climate. For my own part, I agreed with the worthy sealer,
seeing but little difference between his going in this garb, and his
going quite naked. My dress was made, on a design of my own, after
the social-stake system; or, in other words, it was so arranged as
to take an interest in half of the animals of Exeter Change, to
which MENAGERIE the artist by whom it had been painted was sent
expressly, in order to consult nature. Bob wore the effigy, as his
master called it, of a turnspit.

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