Books: The Letters of Horace Walpole, Volume 2

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(1031) Mr. Walpole, in his dedication of the "Anecdotes of
painting," says, he is rather an Editor than an Author; but
much as he certainly derived from Vertue, his own share in this
interesting work entitles him to the thanks of every lover of
the fine arts, and of British antiquities.-C.

(1032) The French were at this time attempting to play the
farce of invasion. Flat-bottomed boats were building in all
the ports of Normandy and Brittany, calculated to transport an
army of a hundred thousand men.-C.

489 Letter 315
To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, May 16, 1759.

I packed up a long letter to you in the case with the Earl of
Manchester, which I suppose did not arrive at Greatworth before
you left it. Don't send for it, for there are private
histories in it, that should not travel post, and which will be
full as new to you a month hence.

Well! Maria was married yesterday. Don't we manage well! the
original day was not once put off: lawyers and milliners were
all ready canonically. It was as sensible a wedding as ever
was. There was neither form nor indecency, both which
generally meet on such occasions. They were married at my
brother's in Pall-Mall, just before dinner, by Mr. Keppel; the
company, my brother, his son, Mrs. Keppel, and Charlotte, Lady
Elizabeth Keppel, Lady Betty Waldegrave, and I. We dined there;
the Earl and new Countess got into their postchaise at eight
o'clock, and went to Navestock alone, where they stay till
Saturday night: on Sunday she is to be presented, and to make
my Lady Coventry distracted, who, t'other day, told Lady Anne
Connolly how she dreaded Lady Louisa's arrival; "But," said
she, "now I have seen her, I am easy."

Maria was in a white silver gown, with a hat pulled very much
over her face; what one could see of it was handsomer than
ever; a cold maiden blush gave her the sweetest delicacy in the
world. I had liked to have demolished the solemnity of the
ceremony by laughing, when Mr. Keppel read the words, "Bless
thy servant and thy handmaid;" it struck me how ridiculous it
would have been, had Miss Drax been the handmaid, as she was
once to have been.

Did I ever tell you what happened at my Lord Hertford's
wedding? You remember that my father's style was not purity
itself. As the bride was so young and so exceedingly bashful,
and as my Lord Hertford is a little of the prude himself, great
means were used to keep Sir Robert within bounds. He yawned,
and behaved decently. When the dessert was removed, the
Bishop, who married them, said, "Sir Robert, what health shall
we drink?" It was just after Vernon's conquest of Porto Bello.
"I don't know," replied my father: "why, drink the admiral in
the straights of Bocca Cieca."

We have had a sort of debate in the House of Commons on the
bill for fixing the augmentation of the salaries of the judges:
Charles Townshend says, the book of Judges was saved by the
book of Numbers.

Lord Weymouth(1033) is to be married on Tuesday, or, as he said
himself, to be turned off. George Selwyn told him he wondered
that he had not been turned off before, for he still sits up
drinking all night and gaming.

Well! are you ready to be invaded? for it seems invasions from
France are coming into fashion again. A descent on Ireland at
least is expected. There has been a great quarrel -between Mr.
Pitt and Lord Anson, on the negligence of the latter. I
suppose they will be reconciled by agreeing to hang some
admiral, who will come too late to save Ireland, after it is
impossible to save it.

Dr. Young has published a new book,(1034) on purpose. he says
himself, to have an opportunity of telling a story that he has
known these forty years. Mr. Addison sent for the young Lord
Warwick, as he was dying, to show him in what peace a Christian
could die--unluckily he died of brandy-nothing makes a
Christian die in peace like being maudlin! but don't say this
in Gath, where you are. Adieu!

P. S. I forgot to tell you two good stories of the little
Prince Frederick. He was describing to Lady Charlotte Edwin
the eunuchs of the Opera; but not easily finding proper words,
he said, "I can't tell you, but I will show you how they make
them," and began to unbutton. T'other day as he was with the
Prince of Wales, Kitty Fisher passed by, and the child named
her; the Prince, to try him, asked who that was? "Why, a
Miss." "A Miss," said the Prince of Wales; "why, are not all
girls Misses?" "Oh! but a particular sort of Miss--a Miss that
sells oranges." "Is there any harm in selling oranges?" "Oh!
but they are not such oranges as you buy; I believe they are a
sort that my brother Edward buys."

(1033) Afterwards created Marquis of Bath. He married Lady
Elizabeth Cavendish Bentinck, daughter of William, third Duke
of Portland.-E.

(1034) "Conjectures on Original Composition; in a letter to the
author of Sir Charles Grandison." The article on this work in
the Critical Review was written by Oliver Goldsmith. See the
recent edition of his Miscellaneous Works, vol. iv. p. 462.-E.

491 Letter 316
To Sir Horace Mann.
Strawberry Hill, June 1, 1759.

I have not announced to you in form the invasion from France,
of which all our newspapers have been so full, nor do I tell
you every time the clock strikes. An invasion frightens one
but once. I am grown to fear no invasions but those we make.
Yet I believe there are people really afraid of this--I mean
the new militia, who have received orders to march. The war in
general seems languishing: Prince Henry of Prussia is the only
one who keeps it up with any spirit. The Parliament goes into
the country to-morrow.

One of your last friends, Lord Northampton,(1035) is going to
marry Lady Anne Somerset, the Duke of Beaufort's sister. She
is rather handsome. He seems to have too much of the coldness
and dignity of the Comptons.

Have you had the comet in Italy? It has made more noise here
than it deserved, because Sir Isaac Newton foretold it, and it
came very near disappointing him. Indeed, I have a notion that
it is not the right, but a little one- that they put up as they
were hunting the true--in short, I suppose, like pine-apples
and gold pheasants, comets will grow so common as to be sold at
Covent-garden market.

I am glad you approve the marriage of my charming niece--she is
now Lady Waldegrave in all the forms.

I envy you who can make out whole letters to me--I find it grow
every day more difficult, we are so far and have been so long
removed from little events in common that serve to fill up a
correspondence, that though my heart is willing, my hand is
slow. Europe is a dull magnificent subject to one who cares
little and thinks still les about Europe. Even the King of
Prussia, except on post-days don't
occupy a quarter of an inch in my memory. He must kill a
hundred thousand men once a fortnight to Put me in mind of him.
Heroes that do so much in a book, and seem so active to
posterity, lie fallow a vast while to their contemporaries--and
how it would humble a vast Prince who expects to occupy the
whole attention of an age, to hear an idle man in his easy
chair cry "Well! why don't the King of Prussia do something?"
If one means to make a lasting bustle, one should contrive to
be the hero of a village; I have known a country rake talked of
for a riot, whole years after the battle of Blenheim has grown
obsolete. Fame, like an essence, the farther it is diffused,
the sooner it vanishes. The million in London devour an event
and demand another to-morrow. Three or four families in a
hamlet twist and turn it, examine, discuss, mistake, repeat
their mistake, remember their mistake, and teach it to their
children. Adieu!

(1035) Charles Compton, seventh Earl of Northampton, married
Lady Anne Somerset, daughter of Charles, fourth Duke of
beaufort; by whom he had an only Child, Lady Elizabeth Compton,
married to Lord George Henry Cavendish, now Earl of Burlington.
Lord Northampton died in 1763.-D.

492 Letter 317
To George Montagu, Esq.
June 2, 1759.

Strawberry Hill is grown a perfect Paphos; it is the land of
beauties. On Wednesday the Duchesses of Hamilton and Richmond
and Lady Ailesbury dined there; the two latter stayed all
night. There never was so pretty a sight as to see them all
three sitting in the shell; a thousand years hence, when I
begin to grow old, if that can ever be, I shall talk of that
event, and tell young people how much handsomer the women of my
time were than they will be then: I shall say, "Women alter
now; I remember Lady Ailesbury looking handsomer than her
daughter, the pretty Duchess of Richmond, as they were sitting
in the shell on my terrace with the Duchess of Hamilton, one of
the famous Gunnings." Yesterday t'other more famous
Gunning(1036) dined there. She has made a friendship with my
charming niece, to disguise her jealousy of the new Countess's
beauty: there were they two, their lords, Lord Buckingham, and
Charlotte. You will think that I did not choose men for my
parties so well as women. I don't include Lord Waldegrave in
this bad election.

Loo is mounted to its zenith; the parties last till one and two
in the morning. We played at Lady Hertford's last week, the
last night of her lying-in, till deep into Sunday morning,
after she and her lord were retired. It Is now adjourned to
Mrs. Fitzroy's, whose child the town called "Pam--ela'. I
proposed, that instead of receiving cards for assemblies, one
should send in a morning to Dr. Hunter's, the man-midwife, to
know where there is loo that evening. I find poor Charles
Montagu is dead:(1037) is it true, as the papers say, that his
son comes into Parliament? The invasion is not half so much in
fashion as loo, and the King demanding the assistance of' the
militia does not add much dignity to it. The great Pam of
Parliament, who made the motion, entered into a wonderful
definition of the several sorts of fear; from fear that comes
from pusillanimity, up to fear from magnanimity. It put me in
mind of that wise Pythian, My Lady Londonderry, who, when her
sister, Lady DOnnegal was dying, pronounced, that if it were a
fever from a fever, she would live; but if it were a fever from
death, she would die.

Mr. Mason has published another drama, called Caractacus; there
are some incantations poetical enough, and odes so Greek as to
have very little meaning. But the whole is laboured,
uninteresting, and no more resembling the manners of Britons
than of Japanese. It is introduced by a piping elegy; for
Mason, in imitation of Gray, "will cry and roar all
night"(1038) without the least provocation.

Adieu! I shall be glad to hear that your Strawberry tide is
fixed.

(1036) Lady Coventry.

(1037) Only son of the Hon. James Montagu, son of Henry Earl
of Manchester.-E.

(1038) An expression of Mr. Montagu's.

493 Letter 318
To Sir Horace Mann.
Arlington Street, June 8, 1759.

This is merely a letter about your commission, and I hope it
will get to you with wondrous haste. I have not lost a minute
in trying to execute what you desire, but it is impossible to
perform all that is required. A watch, perfect by Ellicot or
Gray, with all the accompaniments, cannot possibly be had for
near seventy-five pounds. Though the directions do not
expressly limit me to seventy-five, yet I know Italians enough
to be sure that when they name seventy-five, they would not
bear a codicil of fifty-five more. Ellicot (and Gray is rather
dearer) would have for watch and chain a hundred and
thirty-four guineas; the seals will cost sixteen more. Two
hundred and sixty-eight sequins are more than I dare lay out.
But I will tell you what I have done: Deard, one of the first
jewellers and toymen Here, has undertaken to make a watch and
chain, enamelled according to a pattern I have chosen of the
newest kind, for a hundred guineas; with two seals for sixteen
more; and he has engaged that, if this is not approved, he will
keep it himself; but to this I must have an immediate answer.
He will put his own name to it, as a warrant to the goodness of
the work; and then, except the nine of Ellicot or Gray, your
friend will have as good a watch as he can desire. I take for
granted, at farthest, that I can have an answer by the 15th of
July; and then there will be time, I trust, to convey it to
you; I suppose by sea, for unless a fortunate messenger should
be going `a point nomm`e, you may imagine that a traveller
would not arrive there in any time. My dear Sir, you know how
happy I am to do any thing you desire; and I shall pique myself
on your credit in this, but your friend has expected what,
altogether, it is almost impossible to perform--what can be
done, shall be.

There is not a syllable of news--if there was, I should not
confine myself solely to the commission. Some of our captains
in the East Indies have behaved very ill; if there is an
invasion, which I don't believe there will, I am glad they were
not here. Adieu!

494 Letter 319
To The Earl Of Strafford.
Strawberry Hill, June 12, 1759.

My dear lord,
After so kind a note as you left for me at your going Out Of
town, you cannot wonder that I was determined to thank you the
moment I knew you settled in Yorkshire. At least I am not
ungrateful, if I deserve your goodness by no other title. I
was willing to stay till I could amuse you, but I have not a
battle big enough even to send in a letter. A war that reaches
from Muscovy to Alsace, and from Madras to California, don't
produce an article half so long as Mr. Johnson's riding three
horses at Once. The King of Prussia's campaign is still. in
its papillotes; Prince Ferdinand is laid up like the rest of
the pensioners on Ireland; Guadaloupe has taken a sleeping-
draught, and our heroes in America seem to be planting suckers
of laurels that will not make any future these three years.
All the war that is in fashion lies between those two
ridiculous things, an invasion and the militia. - Prince Edward
is going to sea, to inquire after the invasion from France: and
the old potbellied country colonels are preparing to march and
make it drunk when it comes. I don't know, as it is an event
in Mr. Pitt's administration, whether the Jacobite
corporations, who are converted by his eloquence which they
never heard, do not propose to bestow their freedom on the
first corps of French that shall land.

Adieu, my lord and my lady! I hope you are all beauty and
verdure. We are drowned with obtaining ours.

495 Letter 320
To Sir Horace Mann.
Arlington Street, June 22, 1759.

Well! they tell us in good earnest that we are to be invaded;
Mr. Pitt is as positive of it as of his own invasions. As the
French affect an air of grandeur in all they do, "Mr. Pitt sent
ten thousands, but they send fifty thousands." You will be
inquisitive after our force--I can't tell you the particulars;
I am only in town for to-day, but I hear of mighty
preparations. Of one thing I am sure; they missed the moment
when eight thousand men might have carried off England and set
it down in the gardens of Versailles. In the last war, when we
could not rake together four thousand men, and were all
divided, not a flat-bottomed boat lifted up its leg against us!
There is great spirit in Motion; my Lord Orford is gone with
his Norfolk militia to Portsmouth; every body is raising
regiments or themselves--my Lord Shaftsbury,(1039) . one of the
new colonels of militia, is to be a brigadier-general. I shall
not march my Twickenham militia for some private reasons; my
farmer has got an ague, my printer has run away, my footboy is
always drunk, and my gardener is a Scotchman, and I believe
would give intelligence to the enemy. France has notified the
Dutch that she intends to -surprise us; and this makes us still
more angry. In the mean time, we have got Guadaloupe to play
with. I did not send you any particulars, for this time the
Gazette piqued itself upon telling its own story from beginning
to end; I never knew it so full of chat. It is very
comfortable, that if we lose our own island, we shall at least
have all America to settle in. Quebec is to be conquered by
the 15th of July, and two more expeditions, I don't know
whither, are to be crowned with all imaginable success, I don't
know when; so you see our affairs, upon the whole, are in a
very prosperous train. Your friend, Colonel Clavering, is the
real hero of Guadaloupe; he is come home, covered "with more
laurels than a boar's head: indeed he has done exceedingly
well. A much older friend of yours is just dead, my Lady
Murray;(1040) she caught her death by too strict attendance on
her sister, Lady Binning, who has been ill. They were a family
of love, and break their hearts for her. She had a thousand
good qualities; but no mortal was ever so surprised as I when I
was first told that she was the nymph Arthur Gray would have
ravished. She had taken care to guard against any more such
danger by more wrinkles than ever twisted round a human face.
Adieu! If you have a mind to be fashionable, you must raise a
regiment of Florentine militia.

(1039) Anthony Ashley Cooper, fourth Earl of Shaftsbury. he
died in 1771.-D.

(1040) Daughter of George Bailie, Esq. See an epistle from
Arthur Gray, her footman, to her, in the poems of Lady Mary
Wortley Montagu. [Lady Murray of Stanhope. She was a woman of
merit and ability, and of excellent conduct. She was an
intimate friend of Lady Hervey, who, in her letters, thus
speaks of her;--"I have lost the first friend I had--the
kindest, best, and most valuable one I ever had, with whom I
have lived at her grandfather's, Lord Marchmont."-E.]

496 Letter 321
To George Montagu, Esq.
Strawberry Hill, June 23, 1759.

As you bid me fix a day about six weeks from the date of your
last, it will suit me extremely to see you here the 1st of
August. I don't mean to treat you with a rowing for a badge,
but it will fall in very commodely between my parties. You
tell me nothing of the old house you were to see near Blenheim:
I have some suspicion that Greatworth is coming into play
again. I made your speeches to Mr. Chute, and to Mr. M`untz,
and to myself; your snuff-box is bespoke, your pictures not
done, the print of Lady Waldegrave not begun.

news there are none, unless you have a mind for a panic about
the invasion. I was in town yesterday, and saw a thousand
people at Kensington with faces as long as if it was the last
accession of this family that they were ever to See. The
French are coming with fifty thousand men, and we shall meet
them with fifty addresses. Pray, if you know how, frighten
your neighbours, and give them courage at the same time.

My Lady Coventry and my niece Waldegrave have been mobbed in
the Park. I am sorry the people of England take all their
liberty out in insulting pretty women.

You will be diverted with what happened to Mr. Meynell lately.
He was engaged to dine at a formal old lady's, but stayed so
late hunting that he had not time to dress, but -went as he
was, with forty apologies. The matron very affected, and
meaning to say something very civil, cried, "Oh! Sir, I assure
you I can see the gentleman through a pair of buckskin breeches
as well as if he was in silk or satin."

I am sure I can't tell you any thing better, so good night!
Yours ever.

P. s. I hope you have as gorgeous weather as we have; it is
even hot enough for Mr. Bentley. I live upon the water.

497 Letter 322
To Sir Horace Mann.
Strawberry Hill, July 8, 1759.

This will be the most indecisive of all letters: I don't write
to tell you that the French are not landed at Deal, as was
believed yesterday. An officer arrived post in the middle of
the night, who saw them disembark. The King was called; my
lord Ligonier buckled on his armour. Nothing else was talked
of in the streets; yet there was no panic.(1041) Before noon,
it was known that the invasion was a few Dutch hoys. The day
before, it was triumph. Rodney was known to be before Havre de
Grace; with two bomb-ketches he set the town on fire in
different places, and had brought up four more to act,
notwithstanding a very smart fire from the forts, which,
however, will probably force him to retire without burning the
flat-bottomed boats, which are believed out of his reach. The
express came from him on Wednesday morning. This is Sunday
noon, and I don't know that farther intelligence is arrived. I
am sorry for this sort of war, not only for the sufferers, but
I don't like the precedent, in case the French should land. I
think they will scarce venture; for besides the force on land,
we have a mighty chain of fleet and frigates along the coast.
There is great animosity to them, and few can expect to return.

Our part of the war in Germany seems at an end: Prince
Ferdinand is retiring, and has all the advantage of that part
of great generalship, a retreat. From America we expect the
greatest things; our force there by land and sea is vast. I
hope we shall not be to buy England back by restoring the North
Indies! I will gladly give them all the hundred thousand acres
that may fall to my share on the Olio for my twenty acres here.
Truly I don't like having them endangered for the limits of
Virginia!

I wait impatiently for your last orders for the watch; if the
worst comes to the worst, I can convey it to you by some French
officer.

The weather is sultry; this country never looked prettier. I
hope our enemies will not have the heart to spoil it! It would
be much disappointment to me, who am going to make great
additions to my castle; a gallery, a round tower, and a
cabinet, that is to have all the air of a Catholic chapel--bar
consecration. Adieu! I will tell you more soon, or I hope no
more.

(1041) "Every body," says Gray, in a letter to Dr. Wharton, of
the 21st, "continues as quiet about the invasion as if a
Frenchman, as soon as he set his foot on our coast, would die,
like a toad in Ireland. Yet the King's tents and equipage are
ordered to be ready at an hour's warning." Works, vol. iii. p.
218.-E.

498 Letter 323
To Sir David Dalrymple.(1042)
Strawberry Hill, July 11, 1759.

You will repent, Sir, I fear, having drawn such a correspondent
upon yourself. An author flattered and encouraged is not
easily shaken- off again; but if the interests of my book did
not engage me to trouble you, while you are so good as to write
me the most entertaining letters in the world, it is very
natural for me to lay snares to inveigle more of them.
However, Sir, excuse me this once, and I will be more modest
for the future in trespassing on your kindness. Yet, before I
break out on my new wants, it will be but decent, Sir, to
answer some particulars of your letter.

I have lately read Mr. Goodall,S(1043) book. There is
certainly ingenuity in parts 'of his defence: but I believe one
seldom thinks a defence ingenious without meaning that it is
unsatisfactory. His work left me fully convinced of what he
endeavoured to disprove; and showed me, that the piece you
mention is not the only one that he has written against
moderation.

I have lately got Lord Cromerty's Vindication of the legitimacy
of King Robert,(1044) and his Synopsis Apocalyptica, and thank
you much, Sir, for the notice of any of his pieces. But if you
expect that his works should lessen my esteem for the writers
of Scotland, you Will please to recollect, that the letter
which paints Lord Cromerty's pieces in so ridiculous a light,
is more than a counterbalance in favour of the writers of your
country: and of all men living, Sir, you are the last who will
destroy my partiality for Scotland.

There is another point, Sir, on which, with all your address,
you will persuade me as little. Can I think that we want
writers of history while Mr. Hume and Mr. Robertson are living?
It is a truth, and not a compliment, that I never heard
objections made to Mr. Hume's History without endeavouring to
convince the persons who found fault wit@ it, of its great
merit and beauty; and for what I saw of Mr. -Robertson's work,
it is one of the purest styles, and of the greatest
impartiality, that I ever read. It is impossible for me to
recommend a subject to him: because I cannot judge of what
materials he can obtain. His present performance will
undoubtedly make him so well known and esteemed, that he will
have credit to obtain many new lights for a future history; but
surely those relating to his own country will always lie most
open to him. This is much my way of thinking with regard to
myself. Though the Life of Christina is a pleasing and a most
uncommon subject, yet, totally unacquainted as I am with Sweden
and its language, how could I flatter myself with saying any
thing new of her? And when original letters and authentic
papers shall hereafter appear, may not they contradict half one
should relate on the authority of what is already published?
for though memoirs written nearest to the time are likely to be
the truest, those published nearest to it are generally the
falsest.