Books: The Letters of Horace Walpole, Volume 2

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""Three orators in distant ages born,
Greece, Italy, and England did adorn;
The first in loftiness of thought surpass'd,
The next in language, but in- both the last:
The power of Nature could no farther go;
To make a third, she join'd the former two."

Indeed, we have wanted such an entertainment to enliven and
make the fatigue supportable. We sat on Wednesday till ten at
night; on Friday till past three in the morning; on Monday
till between nine and ten.(644) We have profusion of orators,
and many very great, which is surprising so soon after the
leaden age(645 of the late Right Honourable Henry
Saturnus!(646) The majorities are as great as in Saturnus's
golden age.

Our changes are begun; but not being made at once, our very
changes change. Lord Duplin and Lord Darlington are made
joint paymasters: George Selwyn says, that no act ever showed
so much the Duke of Newcastle's absolute power as his being
able to make Lord Darlington a paymaster. That so often
repatriated and reprostituted Doddington is again to be
treasurer of the navy; and he again drags out Harry Furnese
into the treasury. The Duke of Leeds is to be cofferer, and
Lord Sandwich emerges so far as to be chief justice in eyre.
The other parts by the comedians; I don't repeat their names,
because perhaps the fellow that to-day is designed to act
Guildenstern, may to-morrow be destined to play half the part
of the second grave-digger.(647) However, they are all to
kiss hands on Saturday. mr. Pitt told me to-day that he
should not go to Bath till next week. "I fancy," said I, "you
scarce stay to kiss hands."

With regard to the invasion, which you are so glad to be
allowed to fear, I must tell you that it is quite gone out of
fashion again, and I really believe was dressed up for a
vehicle (as the apothecaries call it) to make us swallow the
treaties. All along the coast of France they are much more
afraid of an invasion than we are.

As obliging as you are in sending me plants, I am determined
to thank you for nothing but drawings. I am not to be bribed
to silence, when you really disoblige me. Mr. Muntz has
ordered more cloths for you. I even shall send you books
unwillingly; and, indeed, why should I? As you are
stone-blind, what can you do with them? The few I shall send
you, for there are scarce any now, will be a pretty dialogue
by Cr`ebillon; a strange imperfect poem, written by Voltaire
when he was very young, which with some charming strokes has a
great deal of humour manqu`e and of impiety estropi`ee; and an
historical romance, by him too, of the last war, in which is
so outrageous a lying anecdote of old Marlborough, as would
have convinced her, that when poets write history they stick
as little to truth in prose as in verse. Adieu!

(644) Lord Chesterfield, in a letter to Mr. Dayrolles of the
19th, says, "The House of Commons sits three or four times a
week till nine or ten at night, and sometimes till four or
five in the morning; so attentive are they to the good of
their dear country. That zeal has of late transported them
into much personal abuse. Even our insignificant House sat
one day last week till past ten at night upon the Russian and
Hessian treaties; but I was not able to sit it out, and left
it at seven, more than half dead; for I took it into my head
to speak upon them for near an hour, which fatigue, together
with the heat of the house, very nearly annihilated me. I was
for the Russian treaty as a prudent eventual measure at the
beginning of a war, and probably preventive even of a war in
that part of the world; but I could not help exposing, though
without opposing, the Hessian treaty, which is, indeed, the
most extraordinary one I ever saw."-E.

(645) " Here, pleased, behold her mighty wings outspread,
To hatch a new Saturnian age of Lead." Dunciad.-E.

(646) Mr. Pelham.

(647) "Places," writes Lord Chesterfield to Mr. Dayrolles on
the 19th, "are emptying and filling every day. The patriot of
Monday is the courtier of Tuesday, and the courtier of
Wednesday is the patriot of Thursday. This, indeed, has more
or less been long the case, but I really think never so
impudently and so profligately as now. @The power is all
falling from his Grace's into Fox's hands; which, you may
remember, I told you long ago would happen."-E.

297 Letter 165
To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, Dec. 20, 1755.

I am very much pleased that you are content with what are to
be trees a thousand years hence, though they were the best my
Libanus afforded. I was afraid you would think I had sent you
a bundle of picktooths, instead of pines and firs: may you
live to chat under their shade! I am still more pleased to
hear that you are to be happy in some good fortune to the
Colonel: he deserves it; but, alas! what a claim is that!
Whatever makes him happy, makes you so, and consequently me.

A regular opposition, composed of immense abilities, has
entertained us for this month. George Grenville, Legge, a Dr.
Hay, a Mr. Elliot, have shone; Charles Townshend lightened;
Pitt has rode in the whirlwind, and directed the storm with
abilities beyond the common reach of the genii of a tempest.
As soon as that storm has a little spent its fury, the dew of
preferments begins to fall and fatten the land. Moses and
Aaron differ indeed a little in which shall dispense the
manna, and both struggle for their separate tribes. Earl
Gower is privy seal, the Lords Darlington and Dublin joint
paymasters, Lord Gage paymaster of the pensions, Mr. O'Brien
in the treasury. That old rag of a dishclout ministry, Henry
Furnese, is to be the other lord. Lord Bateman and Dick
Edgcumbe(648) are the new admirals; Rigby, Soame Jennings, and
Talbot the Welsh judge, lords of trade; the Duke of Leeds
cofferer, Lord Sandwich chief justice in eyre, Ellis and Lord
Sandys (autre dishclout) divide the half of the treasury of
Ireland, George Selwyn paymaster of the board of works,
Arundel is to have a pension in Ireland, and Lord Hillsborough
succeeds him -,is treasurer of the chambers, though I thought
he was as fond of his white staff as my Lord Hobart will be,
who is to have it. There, if you love new politics! You
understand, to make these vacancies, that Charles Townshend
and John Pitt are added to the dismissed and dead.

My Lord Townshend is dying; the young Lord Pembroke marries
the charming Lady Betty Spencer.(649) The French are thought
to have passed eldest as to England, and to intend to take in
Hanover. I know an old potentate who had rather have the gout
in his stomach than in that little toe. Adieu! I have sent
your letter; make my compliments, and come to town.

648) Lord Edgecumbe.

(649) Second daughter of Charles second Duke of
Marlborough.-E.

298 Letter 166
To Sir Horace Mann.
Arlington Street, Dec. 12, 1755.

I am glad, my dear Sir, that you have not wasted many alarms
on the invasion; it does not seem to have been ever intended
by the French. Our ministers, who are not apt to have any
intelligence, have now only had bad: they spread that idea; it
took for some days, but is vanished. I believe we tremble
more really for Hanover: I can't say I do; for while we have
that to tremble for, we shall always be to tremble. Great
expectations of a peace prevail; as it is not likely to be
good, it is not a season for venturing a bad one. The
opposition, though not numerous, is now composed of very
determined and very great men; more united than the ministry,
and at least as able. the resistance to the treaties has been
made with immense capacity: Mr. Pitt has shone beyond the
greatest horizon of his former lustre. The Holidays are
arrived, and now the changes are making; but many of the
recruits, old deserters, old cashiered, old fagots, add very
little credit to the new coalition. The Duke of Newcastle and
his coadjutor Mr. Fox squabble twice for agreeing once: as I
wish so well to the latter, I lament what he must wade through
to real power, if ever he should arrive there. Underneath I
shall catalogue the alterations, with an additional letter to
each name, to particularize the corps to which each belongs.

Sir George Lyttelton, N. chancellor of the exchequer, in the
room of Mr. Legge, dismissed.

Duke of Leeds, N. Cofferer, in the room of Sir George
Lyttelton,

Mr. T. Brudenell N., Deputy. in the room of mr. Clare.

Mr. Doddington, F. Treasurer of the Navy, in the room of Sir
G. Grenville, dismissed.

Lords Darlington N. and Duplin N. Joint Paymasters, in the
room of mr. Pitt, dismissed

Duke of Marlborough, F. Master of the Ordnance. Long Vacant.

Earl Gower, F., Lord Privy Seal, in the room of the duke of
Marlborough.

Lord Gage, N., Paymaster of Pensions, in the room of Mr.
Compton, dead,

Mr. Obrien, N. and mr. Henry Furnese, Lords of the Treasury,
in the room of Lord Darlington and Lord Duplin.

Lord Bateman, F., and Mr. Edgcumbe, F. Lords of the Admiralty,
in the room of mr. C. Townshend, dismissed and Mr. Ellis.

Judge Talbot Mr. S. Jennings, N. and mr. Rigby, F., Lords of
Trade, in the room of Mr. J. Grenville, resigned, Mr. T. Pitt,
dismissed, and Mr. Edgcumbe.

mr. Arundel, N., Pension on Ireland.

Lord Hilsborough, F. Treasurer of Chambers, in the room of mr.
Arundel.

Lord Hobart, N., Comptroller of the Household, in the room of
Lord Hilsborough.

George Selwyn, F., Paymaster of the Board of works, in the
room of Mr. Denzil Onslow.

Lord cholmondeley, who had had half before to divide Vice-
Treasurer of Ireland with Lord Sandwich, F., and Mr. Ellis, F.
in the room of Sir w. Yonge, deceased.

Lord Berkeley of Stratton, F., Treasurer of the Household, in
the room of Lord Fitzwalter, dying.

Lord Sandys, N., Chief Justice in eyre, in the room of the
duke of Leeds.

As numerous as these changes are, they are not so
extraordinary as the number of times that each designation has
been changed. The four last have not yet kissed hands, so I
do not give you them for certain. You will smile at seeing
Doddington again revolved to the court, and Lord Sandys and
Harry Furnese, two of the most ridiculous objects in the
succession to my father's ministry, again dragged out upon the
stage: perhaps it may not give you too high an idea of the
stability or dignity of the new arrangement; but as the Duke
of Newcastle has so often turned in and out all men in
England, he must employ some Of The same dukes over again. In
short, I don't know whether all this will make your
ministerial gravity smile, but it makes me laugh out. Adieu!

P. S. I must mention the case of my Lord Fitzwalter,(650)
which all the faculty say exceeds any thing known in their
practice: he is past eighty-four, was an old beau, and had
scarce ever more sense than he has at present; he has lived
many months upon fourteen barrels of oysters, four-and-twenty
bottles of port, and some, I think seven, bottles of brandy
per week. What will Dr. Cocchi, with his Vitto Pittagorico,
say to this?

(650) Charles Mildmay, Earl Fitzwalter, so created May 14,
1730. He died without issue, Feb. 29, 1756, when his earldom
became extinct; and the old barony of Fitzwalter fell into
abeyance among females.-D.

299 Letter 167
To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, Dec. 30, 1755.

As I know how much you are my friend and take part in my joy,
I cannot help communicating to you an incident that has given
much pleasure. You know how much I love Mr. Mann-well, I
don't enter into that, nor into a detail of many hardships
that he has suffered lately, which made me still more eager to
serve him. As some regiments have been just given away, I
cast my eyes about to see if I could not help him to clothing.
Among the rest, there was one new colonel,(651) whom I could
not assume enough to call my friend, but who is much connected
with one that is so. As the time passed, I did not stay to go
round about, but addressed myself directly to the person
himself--but I was disappointed; the disaster was, that he had
left his quarters and was come to town. Though I immediately
gave it up in my own mind, knew how incessantly he would be
pressed from much more powerful quarters, concluded he would
be engaged, I wrote again; that letter was as useless as the
first, and from what reason do you think? Why this person, in
spite of all solicitations, nay previous to any, had already
thought of Mr. Mann, and recollected it would oblige me and my
friend in the country, and had actually given his clothing to
Mr. Mann, before he received either of my letters. Judge how
agreeably I have been surprised, and how much the manner has
added to my obligation! You will be still more pleased when
you hear the character of this officer, which I tell you
willingly, because I know you country gentlemen are apt to
contract prejudices, and to fancy that no virtues grow out of
your own shire; yet by this one sample, you will find them
connected with several circumstances that are apt to nip their
growth. He is of as good a family as any in England, yet in
this whole transaction he has treated me with as much humility
is if I was of as good a family and as if I had obliged him,
not he me. In the next place, I have no power to oblige him;
then, though he is young and in the army, he is as good, as
temperate, as meek, as if he was a curate on preferment; and
yet with all these meek virtues, nobody has distinguished
themselves by more personal bravery-and what is still more to
his praise, though he has so greatly established his courage,
he is as regular in his duty, and submits as patiently to all
the tedious exiles and fatigues of it, as if he had no merit
at all; but I will say no more, lest you imagine that the
present warmth of my gratitude makes me exaggerate. No, you
will not, when you know that all I have said relates to your
own brother, Colonel Charles Montagu. I did not think he
could have added still to my satisfaction; but he has, by
giving me hopes Of seeing you in town next week-till then,
adieu! Yours as entirely as is consistent with my devotedness
to your brother.

(651) Colonel Charles Montagu, this day appointed to the
command of the 59th regiment of foot.-E.

300 Letter 168
To Richard Bentley, Esq.
Strawberry Hill, Jan. 6, 1756.

I am quite angry with you: you write me letters so
entertaining that they make me almost forgive your not
drawing: now, you know, next to being disagreeable, there is
nothing so shocking as being too agreeable. However, as I am
a true philosopher, and can resist any thing I like better, I
declare, that if you don't coin the vast ingot of colours and
cloth that I have sent you, I will burn your letters unopened.

Thank you for all your concern about my gout, but I shall not
mind you; it shall appear in my stomach before I attempt to
keep it out of it by a fortification of wine: I only drank a
little two days after being very much fatigued in the House,
and the worthy pioneer began to cry succour from my foot the
next day. However, though I am determined to feel young
still, I grow to take the hints age gives me; I come hither
oftener, I leave the town to the young; and though the busy
turn that the world has taken draws me back into it, I excuse
it to myself, and call it retiring into politics. From hence
I must retire, or I shall be drowned; my cellars are four feet
under water, the Thames gives itself Rhone airs, and the
meadows are more flooded than when you first saw this place
and thought it so dreary. We seem to have taken out our
earthquake in rain: since the third week in June, there have
not been five days together of dry weather. They tell us that
at Colnbrook and Stains they are forced to live in the first
floor. Mr. Chute is at the Vine, but I don't expect to hear
from him: no post but a dove can get from thence. Every post
brings new earthquakes; they have felt them in France, Sweden,
and Germany: what a convulsion there has been in nature! Sir
Isaac Newton, somewhere in his works, has this beautiful
expression, "The globe will want manum emendatricem."

I have been here this week with only Mr. Muntz; from whence
you may conclude I have been employed--Memoirs thrive apace.
He seems to wonder (for he has not a little of your indolence,
I am not surprised you took to him) that I am continually
occupied every minute of the day, reading, writing, forming
plans: in short, you know me. He is an inoffensive, good
creature, but had rather ponder over a foreign gazette than a
pallet.

I expect to find George Montagu in town to-morrow: his brother
has at last got a regiment. Not content with having deserved
it, before he got it, by distinguished bravery and
indefatigable duty, he persists in meriting it still. He
immediately, unasked, gave the chaplainship (which others
always sell advantageously) to his brother's parson at
Greatworth. I am almost afraid it will make my commendation
of this really handsome action look interested, when I add,
that he has obliged me in the same way by making Mr. Mann his
clothier, before I had time to apply for it. Adieu! I find no
news in town.

302 Letter 169
To The Hon. H. S. Conway.(652)
Arlington Street, Jan. 22, 1756.

As my Lady Ailesbury is so taken up with turnpike-hills,
Popish recusants, and Irish politics, and you are the only
idle person in the family (for Missy I find is engaged too), I
must return to correspond with you. But my letters will not
be quite so lively as they have been: the Opposition, like
schoolboys, don't know how to settle to their books again
after the holidays. We have not had a division: nay, not a
debate. Those that like it, are amusing themselves with the
Appleby election. Now and then we draggle on a little
militia. The recess has not produced even a pamphlet. In
short, there are none but great outlines of politics: a
memorial in French Billingsgate has been transmitted hither
which has been answered very laconically. More agreeable is
the guarantee signed with Prussia: M. Michel(653) is as
fashionable as ever General Wall was. The Duke of Cumberland
has kept his bed with a sore leg, but is better. Oh! I
forgot, Sir Harry Erskine is dismissed from the army, and if
you will suffer so low a pun, as upon his face, is a rubric
martyr for his country: bad as it Is, this is the best bon-mot
I have to send you: Ireland, which one did not suspect, is
become the staple of wit, and, I find, coins bons-mots for our
greatest men. I might not send you Mr. Fox's repartee, for I
never heard it, nor has any body here: as you have, pray send
it me. Charles Townshend t'other night hearing somebody say,
that my Lady Falmouth, who had a great many diamonds on, had a
Very fine stomach, replied, "By God! my lord has a better."
You will be entertained with the riot Charles makes in the
sober house of Argyle: t'other night, on the Duchess's bawling
to my Lady Suffolk,(654) he in the very same tone cried out,
"Large stewing Oysters!" When he takes such liberties with
his new parent, you may judge how little decency he observes
with his wife: last week at dinner at Lord Strafford's, on my
Lady Dalkeith's mentioning some dish that she loved, he
replied before all the servants, "Yes, my Lady Dalkeith, you
love it better than any thing but one!"

We were to have had a masquerade to-night, but the Bishops,
who you know have always persisted in God's hating dominos,
have made an earthquake point of it, and postponed it till
after the fast.

Your brother has got a sixth infanta; at the christening
night, Mr. Trail had got through two prayers before any body
found out that the child was not brought down stairs. You see
pauvret`e how little I have to say. Do accept the enclosed
World(655) in part of payment for the remainder of a letter.
I must conclude with telling you, that though I know her but
little, I admire my Lady Kildare as much as you do. She has
writ volumes to Lady Caroline Fox in praise of you and your
Countess: you are a good soul! I can't say so much for lady
Ailesbury. As to Missy, I am afraid I must resign my claim: I
never was very proper to contest with an Hibernian hero; and I
don't know how, but I think my merit does not improve. Adieu!

(652) Now first printed.

(653) The Prussian charg`e d'affaires.

(654) The Countess of Suffolk was very deaf.-E.

(655) No.160. On attacks upon Licentiousness.--Story of Sir
Eustace Drawbridge-court; written by Walpole.

303 Letter 170
To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Arlington Street, Jan. 24, 1756.

Oh sir, I shall take care how I ever ask favours of you again!
It was with great reluctance that I brought myself to ask
this: you took no notice of my request; and I flattered myself
that I was punished for having applied to you so much against
my inclination. Just as I grew confirmed in the pride of
being mortified, I hear that you have outgone my application,
and in the kindest manner in the world have given the young
man a pair of colours. It would have been unpleasant enough
to be refused; but to obtain more than one asked is the most
provoking thing in the world! I was prepared to be very
grateful if you had done just what I desired; but I declare I
have no thanks ready for a work of supererogation. If there
ever was a spirit that went to heaven for mere gratitude,
which I am persuaded is a much more uncommon qualification
than martyrdom, I must draw upon his hoard of merit to acquit
myself. You will at least get thus much by this charming
manner of obliging me: I look upon myself as double obliged;
and when it cost me so much to ask one favour, and I find
myself in debt for two, I shall scarce run in tick for a
third.

What adds to my vexation is, that I wrote to you but the night
before last. Unless I could return your kindness with equal
grace, it would be not very decent to imitate you by beginning
to take no notice of it; and therefore you must away with this
letter upon the back of the former.

We had yesterday some history in the House - Beckford produced
an accusation in form against Admiral Knowles on his way to an
impeachment. Governor Verres was a puny culprit in
comparison! Jamaica indeed has not quite so many costly
temples and ivory statues, etc. as Sicily had: but what
Knowles could not or had not a propensity to commit in rapine
and petty larceny, he has made up in tyranny. The papers are
granted, and we are all going to turn jurymen. The rest of
the day was spent in a kind of avoirdupois war. Your friend
Sir George Lyttelton opened the budget; well enough in
general, but was strangely bewildered in the figures; he
stumbled over millions, and dwelt pompously upon farthings.
Pitt attacked him pretty warmly on mortgaging the sinking
fund;
Sir George kept up his spirit, and returned the attack on his
eloquence: it was entertaining enough, but ended in high
compliments; and the division was 231 to 5(;.

Your friend Lady Petersham, not to let the town quite lapse
into politics, has entertained it with a new scene. She was
t'other night at the play with her court; viz. Miss Ashe, Lord
Barnard, M. St. Simon, and her favourite footman Richard,
whom, under pretence of keeping places, she always keeps in
her box the whole time to see the play at his ease. Mr.
Stanley, Colonel Vernon, and Mr. Vaughan arrived at the very
end of the farce, and could find no room, but a row and a half
in Lady Caroline's box. Richard denied them entrance very
impertinently. Mr. Stanley took him by the hair of his head,
dragged him into the passage, and thrashed him. The heroine
was outrageous--the heroes not at all so.(656) She sent
Richard to Fielding for a warrant. He would not grant it--and
so it ended--And so must I, for here is company. Adieu!

My letter would have been much cleverer, but George Montagu
has been chattering by me the whole time, and insists on my
making you his compliments.

(656) Lady Hervey, in a letter of the 23d of March, thus
alludes to this story:--"This is the time of year you used to
come to town. Come and hear a little what is going forward:
you will be alarmed with invasions which are never intended;
you will hear of ladies of quality who uphold footmen
insulting gentlemen; nay, you will hear of ladies who steal
not only hearts, but gold boxes."-E.

304 Letter 171
To Sir Horace Mann.
Arlington Street, Jan. 25, 1756.

I am troubled to think what anxiety you have undergone! yet
your brother Gal. assures me that he has never missed writing
one week since he began to be ill. Indeed, had I in the least
foreseen that his disorder would have lasted a quarter of the
time it has, I should have given you an account of it; but the
distance between us is so great, that I could not endure to
make you begin to be uneasy, when, in all probability, the
cause would be removed before my letter reached You. This
tenderness for you has deceived me: your brother, as his
complaint is of the asthmatic kind, has continued all the time
at Richmond. Our attendance in Parliament has been so
unrelaxed, the weather has been so bad, and the roads so
impracticable by astonishing and continued deluges of rain,
that, as I heard from him constantly three or four times a
week, and saw your brother James, who went to him every week,
I went to see him but twice; and the last time, about a
fortnight ago, I thought him extremely mended: he wrote me two
very comfortable notes this week of his mending, and this
morning Mr. Chute and I went to see him, and to scold him for
not having writ oftener to you, which he protests he has done
constantly. I cannot flatter you, my dear child, as much as
to say I think him mended; his shortness of breath continues
to be very uneasy to him, and his long confinement has wasted
him a good deal. I fear his case is more consumptive than
asthmatic; he begins a course of quicksilver to-morrow for the
obstruction in his breast. I shall go out to him again the
day after to-morrow, and pray as fervently as you yourself do,
my dear Sir, for his recovery. You have not more obligations
to him, nor adore him more than I do. As my tenderness and
friendship is so strong for you both, you may depend on
hearing from me constantly; but a declining constitution, you
know, will not admit of a very rapid recovery. Though he is
fallen away, he looks well in the face, and his eyes are very
lively: the weather is very warm, he wants no advice, and I
assure YOU no solicitude for his health; no man ever was so
beloved, and so deservingly! Besides Dr. Baker, the physician
of Richmond, who is so much esteemed, he has consulted Dr.
Pringle, who is in the first repute, and who is strongly for
the quicksilver. I enter Into these particulars, because,
when one is anxious, one loves to know the most minute.
Nothing is capable of making me so happy, as being able soon
to send you a better account.