Books: The Letters of Horace Walpole, Volume 2

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The Duke(567) is at the head of the Regency-you may guess if
we are afraid! -Both fleets are sailed. The night the King
went, there was a magnificent ball and supper at Bedford
House. The Duke was there: he was playing at hazard with a
great heap of gold before him; somebody said, he looked like
the prodigal son and the fatted calf both. In the dessert was
a model of Walton Bridge in glass. Yesterday I gave a great
breakfast at Strawberry Hill to the Bedford court. There were
the Duke and Duchess, Lord Tavistock and Lady Caroline, my
Lord and Lady Gower, Lady Caroline Egerton, Lady Betty
Waldegrave, Lady Mary Coke, Mrs. Pitt,(568) Mr. Churchill and
Lady Mary, Mr. Bap. Leveson,(569) and Colonel Sebright. The
first thing I asked Harry was, "Does the sun shine?" It did;
and Strawberry was all gold, and all green. I am not apt to
think people really like it, that is, understand it--, but I
think the flattery of yesterday was sincere; I judge by the
notice the Duchess took of your drawings. Oh! how you will
think the shades of Strawberry extended! Do you observe the
tone of satisfaction with which I say this, as thinking it
near? Mrs. Pitt brought her French horns: we placed them in
the corner of the wood, and it was delightful. Poyang has
great custom: I have lately given Count Perron some gold fish,
which he has carried in his post-chaise to Turin: he has
already carried some before. The Russian minister has asked
me for some too, but I doubt their succeeding there; unless,
according to the universality of my system, every thing is to
be found out at last, and practised every where.

I have got a new book that will divert you, called Anecdotes
Litteraires: it is a collection of stories and bons-mots of
all the French writers; but so many of their bons-mots are
impertinences, follies, and vanities, that I have blotted out
the title, and written Mis`eres des S`cavants. It is a
triumph for the ignorant. Gray says, very justly, that
learning never should be encouraged, it only draws out fools
from their obscurity; and you know I have always thought a
running footman as meritorious a being as a learned man. Why
is there more merit in having travelled one's eyes over so
many reams of paper than in having carried one's legs over so
many acres of ground? Adieu, my dear Sir! Pray don't be taken
prisoner to France, just when you are expected at Strawberry!

(565) Member for the county of Suffolk. He died in 1759.-E.

(566) "It was," writes Lord Chesterfield to Mr. Dayrolles, on
the 2d of May, "an indecent, ungenerous, and malignant
question, which I had no mind should either be put or debated,
well knowing the absurd and improper things that would be said
both for and against it, and therefore I moved for the House
to adjourn. As you will imagine that this was agreeable to
the King, it is supposed that I did it to make my court, and
people are impatient to see what great employment I am to
have; for that I am to have one, they do not in the least
doubt, not having any notion that any man can take any step
without some view of dirty interest. I do not undeceive them.
I have nothing to fear; I have nothing to ask; and there is
nothing that I can or will have."-E.

(567) The Duke of Cumberland.

(568) Wife@, of George Pitt of Strathfieldsaye, and daughter
of Sir Henry Atkins.-E.

(569) The Honourable Baptist Leveson, youngest son of the
first Lord Gower.

252 Letter 133
To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, May 13, 1755.

It is very satisfactory to me, to hear that Miss Montagu was
pleased with the day she passed at Strawberry Hill; but does
not it silently reproach you, who will never see it but in
winter? Does she not assure you that there are leaves, and
flowers, and verdure? And why will you not believe that with
those additions it might look pretty, and might make you some
small amends for a day or two purloined from Greatworth? I
wish you would visit it when in its beauty, and while it is
mine! You will not, I flatter Myself, like it so well when it
belongs to the Intendant of Twickenham, when a cockle-shell
walk is made across the lawn, and every thing without doors is
made regular, and every thing riant and modern;--for this must
be its fate! Whether its next master is already on board the
Brest fleet, I do not pretend to say; but I scarce think it
worth my while to dispose of it' by my will, as I have some
apprehensions of living to see it granted away de par le Roy.
My lady Hervey dined there yesterday with the Rochfords. I
told her, that as she is just going to France, I was unwilling
to let her see it, for if she should like it, she would desire
Mademoiselle with whom she lives, to beg it for her. Adieu!

252 Letter 134
To George Montagu, Esq.
May 19.

It is on the stroke of eleven, and I have but time to tell
you, that the King of Prussia has gained the greatest
victory(570) that ever was, except the Archangel Michael's-
-King Frederick has only demolished the dragoness. He
attacked her army in a strong camp on the 6th; suffered in the
beginning of the action much, but took it, with all the tents,
baggage, etc. etc two hundred and fifty pieces of cannon, six
thousand prisoners, and they say, Prague since. The Austrians
have not stopped yet; if you see any man scamper by your house
you may venture to lay hold on him, though he should be a
Pandour. Marshal Schwerin was killed. Good night!

(570) On the banks of the Moldaw near Prague.

253 Letter 135
To Richard Bentley, Esq.
Strawberry Hill, June 10, 1755.

Mr. Muntz(571) is arrived. I am sorry I can by no means give
any commendation to the hasty step you took about him. Ten
guineas were a great deal too much to advance to him, and must
raise expectations in him that will not at all answer. You
have entered into no written engagement with him, nor even
sent me his receipt for the money. My good Sir, is this the
sample you give me of the prudence and providence you have
learned? I don't love to enter into the particulars of my own
affairs; I will only tell you in one word, that they require
great management. My endeavours are all employed to serve
you; don't, I beg, give me reasons to apprehend that they will
be thrown away. It is much in obscurity, whether I shall be
able to accomplish your re-establishment; but I shall go on
with great discouragement, if I cannot promise myself that you
will be a very different person after your return. I shall
never have it in my power to do twice what I am now doing for
you; and I choose to say the worst beforehand, rather than to
reprove you for indolence and thoughtlessness hereafter, when
it may be too late. Excuse my being so serious, but I find it
is necessary.

You are not displeased with me, I know, even when I pout: you
see I am not quite in good-humour with you, and I don't
disguise it; but I have done scolding you for this time.
Indeed, I might as well continue it; for I have nothing else
to talk of but Strawberry, and of that subject you must be
well wearied. I believe she alluded to my disposition to
pout, rather than meant to compliment me, when my Lady
Townshend said to somebody t'other day, who told her how well
Mrs. Leneve was, and in spirits, "Oh! she must be in spirits:
why, she lives with Mr. Walpole, who is spirit of hartshorn!"

Princess Emily has been here:--Liked it?--Oh no!--I don't
wonder; I never liked St. James'-,. She was so inquisitive
and so curious in prying into the very offices and servants'
rooms, that her Captain Bateman was sensible of it, and begged
Catherine not to mention it. he addressed himself well, if he
hoped to meet with taciturnity! Catherine immediately ran
down to the pond, and whispered to all the reeds, "Lord! that
a princess should be such a gossip!" In short, Strawberry
Hill is the puppet-show of the times.

I have lately bought two more portraits of personages in
Grammont, Harry Jermyn(572) and Chiffinch:(573) my Arlington
Street is so full of portraits, that I shall scarce find room
for Mr. Muntz's works.

Wednesday, 11th.

I was prevented from finishing my letter yesterday, by what do
you think? By no less magnificent a circumstance than a
deluge. We have had an extraordinary drought, no grass, no
leaves. no flowers; not a white rose for the festival of
yesterday! About four arrived such a flood, that we could not
see out of the windows: the whole lawn was a lake, though
situated on so high an Ararat: presently it broke through the
leads, drowned the pretty blue bedchamber, passed through
ceilings and floors into the little parlour, terrified Harry,
and opened all Catherine's water-gates and speech-gates. I
had but just time to collect two dogs, a couple of sheep, a
pair of bantams, and a brace of gold fish; for, in the haste
of my zeal to imitate my ancestor Noah, I forgot that fish
would not easily be drowned. In short, if you chance to spy a
little ark with pinnacles sailing towards Jersey, open the
skylight, and you will find some of your acquaintance. You
never saw such desolation! A pigeon brings word that Mabland
has fared still worse: it never came into my head before, that
a rainbow-office for insuring against water might be very
necessary. This is a true account of the late deluge.
Witness our hands
Horace Noah.
Catherine Noah, her mark.
Harry Shem.
Louis Japhet.
Peter Ham, etc.

I was going to seal my letter, and thought I should scarce
have any thing more important to tell you than the history of
the flood, when a most extraordinary piece of news indeed
arrived--nothing less than a new gunpowder plot-last Monday
was to be the fatal day. There was a ball at Kew--Vanneschi
and his son, directors of the Opera, two English lords, and
two Scotch lords, are in confinement at Justice Fielding's.
This is exactly all I know of the matter; and this -weighty
intelligence is brought by the waterman from my housemaid in
Arlington Street, who sent Harry word that the town is in an
uproar; and to confirm it, the waterman says he heard the same
thing at Hungerford-stairs. I took the liberty to represent
to Harry, that the ball at Kew was this day se'nnight for the
Prince's birthday; that, as the Duke was at it, I imagined the
Scotch lords would rather have chosen that day for the
execution of their tragedy; that I believe Vanneschi's son was
a child; and that peers are generally confined at the Tower,
not at Justice Fielding's; besides, that we are much nearer to
Kew than Hungerford-stairs are but Harry, who has not at all
recovered the deluge, is extremely disposed to think Vanneschi
very like Guy Fawkes; and is so persuaded that so dreadful a
story could not be invented, that I have been forced to
believe it too: and in the course of our reasoning and
guessing, I told him, that though I could not fix upon all
four, I was persuaded that the late Lord Lovat who was
beheaded must be one of the Scotch peers, and Lord Anson's son
who is not begot, one of the English. I was afraid he would
think I treated so serious a business too ludicrously, if I
had hinted at the scene of distressed friendship that would be
occasioned by Lord Hardwicke's examining his intimate
Vanneschi. Adieu! my dear Sir. Mr. Fox and Lady Caroline,
and Lord and Lady Kildare, are to dine here to-day; and if
they tell Harry or me any more of the plot you shall know it.

Wednesday night.

Well, now for the plot: thus much is true. A laundry-maid of
the Duchess of Marlborough, passing by the Cocoa-tree, saw two
gentlemen go in there, one of whom dropped a letter; it was
directed to you. She opened it. It was very obscure, talked
of designs at Kew miscarried, of new methods to be taken; and
as this way of correspondence had been repeated too often,
another must be followed: and it told you that the next letter
to him should be in a band-box at such a house in the
Haymarket. The Duchess concluded it related to a gang of
street-robbers, and sent it to Fielding. He sent to the house
named, and did find a box and a letter, which, though obscure
had treason enough in it. It talked of a design at Kew
miscarried; that the Opera was now the only place, and
consequently the scheme must be deferred till next season,
especially as a Certain person is abroad. For the other great
person (the Duke), they are sure of him at any time. There
was some indirect mention, too, of gunpowder. Vanneschi and
others have been apprehended; but a conclusion was made, that
it was a malicious design against the lord high treasurer of
the Opera and his administration, and so they have been
dismissed. Macnamara,(575) I suppose you Jerseyans know, is
returned with his fleet to Brest, leaving the transports
sailing to America. Lord Thanet and Mr. Stanley are just gone
to Paris, I believe to inquire after the war.

The weather has been very bad for showing Strawberry to the
Kildares; we have not been able to stir out of doors; but, to
make me amends, I have discovered that Lady Kildare is a true
S`evignist. You know what pleasure I have in any increase of
our sect; I thought she grew handsomer than ever as she talked
with devotion of Notre Dame des Rochers. Adieu! my dear Sir.

P. S. Tell me if you receive this; for in these gunpowder
times, to be sure, the clerks of the post-office are
peculiarly alert.

(571) Mr. Walpole had invited Mr. muntz from Jersey, and he
lived for some time at Strawberry Hill.

(572) Youngest son of Thomas, elder brother of the Earl of St.
Albans. He was created Baron Dover in 1685, and died without
issue in 1708.-E.

(573) One of Charles the Second's confidential pages.-E.

(574) The Pretender's birthday.

(576) The French admiral.

256 Letter 136
To Sir Horace Mann.
Strawberry Hill, June 15, 1755.

My dear sir,
I have received your two letters relating to the
Countess,(577) and wish you joy, since she will establish
herself at Florence, that you are so well with her; but I
could not help smiling at the goodness of your heart and your
zeal for us: the moment she spared us, you gave t`ete baiss`ee
into all her histories against Mr. Shirley: his friends say,
that there was a little slight-of-hand in her securing the
absolute possession of her own fortune; it was very prudent,
at least, if not quite sentimental. You should be at least as
little the dupe of her affection for her son; the only proof
of fondness she has ever given for him, has been expressing
great concern at his wanting taste for Greek and Latin.
Indeed, he has not much encouraged maternal yearnings in her:
I should have thought him shocked at the chronicle of her life
if he ever felt any impressions. But to speak freely to you,
my dear Sir, he is the most particular young man I ever saw.
No man ever felt such a disposition to love another as I did
to love him: I flattered myself that he would restore some
lustre to our house; at least, not let it totally sink; but I
am forced to give him up, and all my Walpole-views. I will
describe him to you, if I can, but don't let it pass your
lips. His figure is charming; he has more of the easy,
genuine air of a man of quality than ever you saw: though he
has a little hesitation in his speech, his address and manner
are the most engaging imaginable: he has a good-breeding and
attention when he is with you that is even flattering; you
think he not only means to please, but designs to do every
thing that shall please you; he promises, offers every thing
one can wish--but this is all; the instant he leaves you, you,
all the world, are nothing to him--he would not give himself
the least trouble in the world to give any body the greatest
satisfaction; yet this is mere indolence of mind, not of
body-his whole pleasure is outrageous exercise. Every thing
he promises to please you, is to cheat the present moment and
hush any complaint-I mean of words; letters he never answers,
not of business, not of his own business: engagements Of no
sort he ever keeps. He is the most selfish man in the world,
without being the least interested: he loves nobody but
himself, yet neglects every view of fortune and ambition. He
has not Only always slighted his mother, but was scarce decent
to his rich old grandmother, when she had not a year to live,
and courted him to receive her favours. You will ask me what
passions he has--none but of parade; he drinks without
inclination-makes love without inclination--games without
attention; is immeasurably obstinate, yet, like obstinate
people, governed as a child. In short, it is impossible not
to love him when one sees him; impossible to esteem him when
one thinks on him!

Mr. Chute has found you a very pretty motto: it alludes to the
goats in your arms, and not a little to you; per ardua
stabiles. All your friends approve it, and it is actually
engraving. You are not all more in the dark about the war
than we are even here: Macnamara has been returned some time
to Brest with his fleet, having left the transports to be
swallowed up by Boscawen, as we do not doubt but they will be.
Great armaments continue to be making in all the ports of
England and France, and, as we expect next month accounts of
great attempts made by our colonies, we think war unavoidable,
notwithstanding both nations are averse to it. The French
have certainly overshot themselves; we took it upon a higher
style than they expected, or than has been our custom. The
spirit and expedition with which we have equipped so
magnificent a navy has surprised them, and does exceeding
honour to my Lord Anson, who has breathed new life into our
affairs. The minister himself has retained little or none of
his brother's and of his own pusillanimity; and as the
Duke(578) is got into the Regency, you may imagine our
land-spirit will not be unquickened neither. This is our
situation; actual news there is none. All we hear from France
is, that a new-madness reigns there, as strong as that of
Pantins was. This is la fureur des cabriolets; singlic`e,
one-horse chairs, a mode introduced by Mr. Child:(579) they
not only universally go in them, but wear them; that is, every
thing is to be en cabriolet; the men paint them on their
waistcoats, and have them embroidered for clocks to their
stockings; and the women, who have gone all the winter without
any thing on their heads, are now muffled up in great caps
with round sides, in the form of, and scarce less than the
wheels of chaises! Adieu! my dear Sir.

(577) The Countess of Orford.

(578) The Duke of Cumberland.

(579) Josiah Child, brother of the Earl of Tilney.

257 Letter 137
To Richard Bentley, Esq.
Strawberry Hill, July 5, 1755.

You vex me exceedingly. I beg, if it is not too late, that
you would not send me these two new quarries of granite; I had
rather pay the original price and leave them where they are,
than be encumbered with them. My house is already a
stone-cutter's shop, nor do I know what to do with what I have
got. But this is not what vexes me, but your desiring me to
traffic with Carter, and showing me that you are still open to
any visionary project! Do you think I can turn broker and
factor, and- I don't know what? And at your time of life, do
you expect to make a fortune by becoming a granite-merchant?
There must be great demand for a commodity that costs a guinea
a foot, and a month an inch to polish! You send me no
drawings, for which you know I should thank you infinitely,
and are hunting for every thing that I would thank you for
letting alone. In short, my dear Sir, I am determined never
to be a projector, nor to deal with projects. If you still
pursue them, I must beg you will not only not employ me in
them, but not even let me know that you employ any body else.
If you will not be content with my plain, rational way of
serving you, I can do no better, nor can I joke upon it. I
can combat any difficulties for your service but those of your
own raising. Not to talk any more crossly, and to prevent, if
I can, for the future, any more of these expostulations, I
must tell you plainly, that with regard to my own
circumstances. I generally drive to a penny, and have no
money to spare for visions. I do and am doing all I can for
you; and let me desire you once for all, not to send me any
more persons or things without asking my consent, and stay
till you receive it. I cannot help adding to the chapter of
complaint* * * *

These, my dear Sir, are the imprudent difficulties you draw me
into, and which almost discourage me from proceeding in your
business. If you anticipate your revenue, even while in
Jersey, and build castles in the air before you have repassed
the sea, can I expect that you will be a better economist
either of your fortune or your prudence here? I beg you will
preserve this letter, ungracious as it is, because I hope it
will serve to prevent my writing any more such.

Now to Mr. Muntz;-Hitherto he answers all you promised and
vowed for him: he is very modest, humble, and reasonable; and
has seen so much and knows so much, of countries and languages
that I am not likely to be soon tired of him. His drawings
are very pretty: he has done two views of Strawberry that
please me extremely; his landscape and trees are much better
than I expected. His next work is to be a large picture from
your Mr. bland for Mr. Chute, who is much content with him: he
goes to the Vine in a fortnight or three weeks. We came from
thence the day before yesterday. I have drawn up an
inventionary of all I propose he should do there; the
computation goes a little beyond five thousand pounds; but he
does not go half so fast as my impatience demands: he is so
reasonable, and will think of dying, and of the gout, and of
twenty disagreeable things that one must do and have, that he
takes no joy in planting and future views, but distresses all
my rapidity of schemes. last week we were at my sister's at
Chaffont in Buckinghamshire, to see what we could make of it;
but it wants so much of every thing, and would require so much
more than an inventionary of five thousand pounds, that we
decided nothing, except that Mr. Chute has designed the
prettiest house in the world for them. We Went to See the
objects of the neighbourhood, Bolstrode and Latimers. The
former is a melancholy monument of Dutch magnificence: however
there is a brave gallery of old pictures, and a chapel with
two fine windows in modern painted glass. The ceiling was
formerly decorated with the assumption, or rather presumption,
of Chancellor Jeffries, to whom it belonged; but a very
judicious fire hurried him somewhere else; Latimers belongs to
Mrs. Cavendish. I have lived there formerly with Mr. Conway,
but it is much improved since; yet the river stops short at an
hundred yards just under your eye, and the house has undergone
Batty Langley discipline: half the ornaments are of his
bastard Gothic, and half of Hallet's mongrel Chinese. I want
to write over the doors of most modern edifices, "Repaired and
beautified; Langley and Hallet churchwardens." The great
dining-room is hung with the paper of my staircase, but not
shaded properly like mine. I was much more charmed lately at
a visit I made to the Cardigans at Blackheath. Would you
believe that I had never been in Greenwich Park? I never had,
and am transported! Even the glories of Richmond and
Twickenham hide their diminished rays. Yet nothing is equal
to the fashion of this village: Mr. Muntz says we have more
coaches than there are in half France. Mrs. Pritchard has
bought Ragman's Castle, for which my Lord Litchfield could not
agree. We shall be as celebrated as Baiae or Tivoli; and, if
we have not such sonorous names as they boast, we have very
famous people: Clive and Pritchard, actresses; Scott and
Hudson, painters; my Lady Suffolk, famous in her time; Mr. H *
* *, the impudent lawyer, that Tom Hervey wrote against;
Whitehead, the poet--and Cambridge, the every thing. Adieu!
my dear Sir--I know not one syllable of news.

259 Letter 138
To Sir Horace Mann.
Strawberry Hill, July 16, 1755.

Our correspondence will revive: the war is begun. I cannot
refer you to the Gazette, for it is so prudent and so afraid
that Europe should say we began first, (and unless the Gazette
tell, how should Europe know?) that it tells nothing at all.
The case was; Captain Howe and Captain Andrews lay in a great
fog that lasted near fifty hours within speech of three French
ships and within sight of nine more. The commandant asked if
it was war or peace? Howe replied he must wait for his
admiral's signal, but advised the Frenchman to prepare for
war. Immediately Boscawen gave the signal, and Howe attacked.
The French, who lost one hundred and thirty men to our
thirteen, soon struck; we took one large ship, one
inconsiderable, and seven thousand pounds: the third ship
escaped in the fog. Boscawen detained the express ten days in
hopes of more success; but the rest of our new enemies are all
got safe into the river of Louisbourg. This is a great
disappointment! We expect a declaration of war with the first
fair wind. Make the most of your friendship with Count
lorenzi,(580) while you may.