Books: The Letters of Horace Walpole, Volume 2

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The town is as full as I believe you thought the room was at
your ball at Waldershare. I hear of nothing but the parts and
merit of Lord North. Nothing has happened yet, but sure so
many English people cannot be assembled long without committing
something extraordinary.

I have seen and conversed with our old friend Cope; I find him
grown very old; I fear he finds me so too; at least as old as I
ever intend to be. I find him very grave too, which I believe
he does not find me.

Solomon and Hesther, as my Lady Townshend calls Mr. Pitt and
Lady Hester Grenville, espouse one another to-day.(524) I know
nothing more but a new fashion which my Lady Hervey has brought
from Paris. It is a tin funnel covered with green ribbon, and
holds water, which the ladies wear to keep their bouquets
fresh. I fear Lady Caroline and some others will catch
frequent colds and sore throats with overturning this
reservoir.

Apropos, there is a match certainly in agitation, which has
very little of either Solomon or Hesther in it. You will be
sorry when I tell you, that Lord Waldegrave certainly
dis-Solomons himself with the Drax. Adieu! my dear Sir; I
congratulate Miss Montagu on her good health, and am ever
yours.

(524) On the ]6th of November, Mr. Pitt married Lady Hester
Grenville, only daughter of Richard Grenville, of Wotton, Esq.,
and of Hester, Countess Temple.-E.

226 Letter 116
To Richard Bentley, Esq.
Arlington Street, Nov. 20, 1754.

IF this does not turn out a scolding letter I am much mistaken.
I shall give way to it with the less scruple, as I think it
shall be the last of the kind; not that you will mend, but I
cannot support a commerce of visions! and therefore, whenever
you send me mighty cheap schemes for finding out longitudes and
philosophers' stones, you will excuse me if I only smile, and
don't order them to be examined by my council. For Heaven's
sake, don't be a projector! Is not it provoking, that, with
the best parts in the world, you should have so gentle a
portion of common sense?(525) But I am clear, that you never
will know the two things in the world that import you the most
to know, yourself and me. Thus much by way of preface: now for
the detail.

You tell me in your letter of November 3d, that the (quarry of
granite might be rented at twenty pounds or twenty shillings, I
don't know which, no matter, per annum. When I can't get a
table out of it, is it very likely you or I should get a
fortune out of it? What signifies the cheapness of the rent?
The cutting and shippage would be articles of some little
consequence! Who should be supervisor? You, who are so good a
manager, so attentive, so diligent, so expeditious, and so
accurate? Don't you think our quarry would turn to account?
Another article, to which I might apply the same questions, is
the project for importation of French wine: it is odd that a
scheme so cheap and so practicable should hitherto have been
totally overlooked. One would think the breed of smugglers was
lost, like the true spaniels, or genuine golden pippins! My
dear Sir, you know I never drink three glasses of my wine-can
you think I care whether, they are sour or sweet, cheap or
dear?--or do you think that I, who am always taking trouble to
reduce my trouble into as compact a volume as I can, would tap
such an article as importing my own wine? But now comes your
last proposal about the Gothic paper. When you made me fix up
mine, unpainted, engaging to paint it yourself, and yet could
never be persuaded to paint a yard of it, till I was forced to
give Bromwich's man God knows what to do it. would you make me
believe that you will paint a room eighteen by fifteen? But,
seriously, if it is possible for you to lay aside visions,
don't be throwing continual discouragements in my way. I have
told you seriously and emphatically that I am labouring your
restoration: the scheme is neither facile nor immediate:-but,
for God's sake! act like a reasonable man. You have a family
to whom you owe serious attention. Don't let me think, that if
you return, you will set out upon every wildgoose chase,
sticking to nothing, and neglecting chiefly the talents and
genius which you have in such excellence, to start projects
which you have too much honesty and too little application ever
to thrive by. This advice is, perhaps, worded harshly: but you
know the heart from which it proceeds, and you know that, with
all my prejudice to it, I can't even pardon your wit, when it
is employed to dress up schemes that I think romantic. The
glasses and Ray's Proverbs you shall have, and some more gold
fish, when I have leisure to go to Strawberry; for you know I
don't suffer any fisheries to be carried on there in my
absence.

I am as newsless as in the dead of summer: the Parliament
produces nothing but elections: there has already been one
division- on the Oxfordshire of two hundred and sixty-seven
Whigs to ninety-seven Tories: you may calculate the burial of
that election easily from these numbers.(526) The Queen of
Prussia is not dead, as I told you in my last. If you have
shed many tears for her, you may set them off to the account of
our son-in-law, the Prince of Hesse, who is turned Roman
Catholic. One is in this age so unused to conversions above
the rank of a housemaid turned Methodist, that it occasions as
much surprise as if one had heard that he had been initiated in
the Eleusinian mysteries. Are not you prodigiously alarmed for
the Protestant interest in Germany?

We have operas, burlettas, cargoes of Italian dancers, and none
good but the Mingotti, a very fine figure and actress. I don't
know a single bon-mot that is new: George Selwyn has not waked
yet for the winter. You will believe that, when I tell you,
that t'other night having lost eight hundred pounds at hazard,
he fell asleep upon the table with near half as much more
before him, and slept for three hours, with every body stamping
the box close at his ear. He will say prodigiously good things
when he does wake. In the mean time, can you be content with
one of Madame S`evign`e's best bons-mots, which I have found
amongst her new letters? Do you remember her German friend the
Princess of Tarente, who was always in mourning for some
sovereign prince or princess? One day Madame de S`evign`e
happening to meet her in colours, made her a low curtsey, and
said, "Madame, je me r`ejouis de la sant`e de l'Europe." I
think I may apply another of her speeches which pleased me, to
what I have said t@ you in the former part of my letter.
Mademoiselle du Plessis had said something she disapproved:
Madame S`evign`e said to her, "Mais que cela est sot; car je
veux vous parler doucement." Adieu!

(525) Cumberland, in his Memoirs, speaking of Mr. Bentley,
says, "There was a certain eccentricity and want of worldly
prudence in my uncle's character, that involved him in
distresses, and reduced him to situations uncongenial with his
feelings, and unpropitious to the cultivation and encouragement
of his talents."-E.

(526) At the close of the Oxfordshire election the sheriff
returned all the four candidates, who all of them petitioned.
Two were chosen upon what was called the new interest, and were
supported by the court; and two by the old interest. The
expense and animosity which this dispute occasioned is
incredible. Even murder was committed upon the place of
elections The friends of the new interest were ultimately voted
to be the sitting members by a majority of 233 against 103.-E.

228 Letter 117
To Sir Horace Mann.
Strawberry Hill, Dec. 1, 1754

You do me justice, my dear Sir,
when you impute the want of my letters to my want of news: as a
proof, I take up my pen again on the first spring-tide of
politics. However, as this is an age of abortions, and as I
have often announced to you a pregnancy of events, which have
soon after been stillborn, I beg you will not be disappointed
if nothing comes of the present ferment. The offenders and the
offended have too often shown their disposition to soothe, or
to be soothed, by preferments, for one to build much on the
duration or implacability of their aversions. In short, Mr.
Pitt has broke with the Duke of Newcastle, on the want of
power, and has alarmed the dozing House of Commons with some
sentences, extremely in the style of his former Pittics. As
Mr. Fox is not at all more in humour, the world expects every
day to see these two commanders, first unite to overturn all
their antagonists, and then worry One another. They have
already mumbled poor Sir Thomas Robinson cruelly. The
Chancellor of the exchequer(527) crouches under the storm, and
seems very willing to pass eldest. The Attorney-General(528)
seems cowed, and unwilling to support a war, of which the world
gives him the honour.(529) Nugent alone, with an intrepidity
worth his country, affects to stand up against the greatest
orator, and against the best reasoner of the age. What will
most surprise you is, that the Duke of Newcastle, who used to
tremble at shadows, appears unterrified at Gorgons! If I
should tell you in my next, that either of the Gorgons has
kissed hands for secretary of state, only smile: snakes are as
easily tamed as lapdogs.

I am glad you have got my Lord of Cork.(530) He is, I know, a
very worthy man, and though not a bright man, nor a man of the
world, much less a good author, yet it must be comfortable to
you now and then to see something besides travelling children,
booby governors, and abandoned women of quality. You say, you
have made my Lord Cork give up my Lord Bolingbroke: it is
comical to see how he is given up here, since the best of his
writings, his metaphysical divinity, have been published.
While he betrayed and abused every man who trusted him, or who
had forgiven him, or to whom he was obliged, he was a hero, a
patriot, and a philosopher; and the greatest genius of the age:
the moment his Craftsmen against Moses and St. Paul, etc. were
published, we have discovered that he was the worst man and the
worst writer in the world. The grand jury have presented his
works, and as long as there are any parsons, he will be ranked
with Tindal and Toland--nay, I don't know whether my father
won't become a rubric martyr, for having been persecuted by
him. Mr. Fraigneau's story of the late King's design of
removing my father and employing, Bolingbroke, is not new to
me; but I can give you two reasons, and one very strong indeed,
that convince me of its having no foundation, though it is much
believed here. During the last year of the late King's life,
he took extremely to New Park, and loved to shoot there, and
dined with my father and a private party, and a good deal of
punch. The Duchess of Kendal, who hated Sir Robert, and
favoured Bolingbroke, and was jealous for herself, grew uneasy
at these parties, and used to put one or two of the Germans
upon the King to prevent his drinking, (very odd preventives!)-
-however, they obeyed orders so well, that one day the King
flew into a great passion, and reprimanded them in his own
language with extreme warmth; and when he went to Hanover,
ordered my father to have the new lodge in the park finished
against his return; which did not look much like an intention
of breaking with the ranger of the Park. But what I am now
going to tell you is conclusive: the Duchess obtained an
interview for Bolingbroke in the King's closet, which not
succeeding, as lord Bolingbroke foresaw it might not at once,
he left a memorial with the King, who, the very next time he
saw Sir Robert, gave it to him.

You will expect that I should mention the progress of the West
Indian war; but the Parliamentary campaign opening so warmly,
has quite put the Ohio upon an obsolete foot. All I know is,
that the Virginians have disbanded all their troops and say
they will trust to England for their defence. The dissensions
in Ireland increase. At least, here are various and ample
fields for speeches, if we are to have new oppositions. You
will believe that I have not great faith in the prospect, when
I can come quietly hither for two or three days to place the
books in my new library. Mr. Chute is with me, and returns you
all your kind speeches with increase. Your two brothers, who
dine at lord Radnor's, have just been here, and found me
writing to you: your brother Gal. would not stay a moment, but
said, , Tell him I prefer his pleasure to my own." I wish, my
dear Sir, I could give you much more, that is, could tell you
more; but unless our civil wars continue, I shall know nothing
but of contested elections: a first session of a Parliament is
the most laborious scene of dulness that I know. Adieu!

(527) Mr. Legge.

(528) Mr. Murray; he was preferred to be attorney-general this
year, in the room of Sir Dudley Ryder, who was made lord chief
justice, on the death of Sir William Lee.

(529) "At this time," says Lord Waldegrave, "Fox had joined
Pitt in a kind of parliamentary opposition. They were both in
office,--the one paymaster, the other secretary at war,-and
therefore could not decently obstruct the public business; but
still they might attack persons, though not things. Pitt
undertook the difficult task of silencing Murray, the
attorney-general, the ablest man, as well as the ablest
debater, in the House of Commons; whilst Fox entertained
himself with the less dangerous amusement of exposing Sir
Thomas Robinson, or rather assisted him whilst he turned
himself into ridicule; for Sir Thomas, though a good secretary
of state -is far as the business of his office, was ignorant
even of the language of the House of Commons controversy; and
when he played the orator, it was so exceedingly ridiculous,
that those who loved and esteemcd him could not always preserve
a friendly composure of countenance." Memoirs, 1). 31.-E.

(530) John Earl of Orrery and Cork, author of a translation of
Pliny's Epistles, a Life of Dr. Swift, etc.

230 Letter 118
To Richard Bentley, Esq.
Arlington Street, Friday, Dec. 13, 1754.

"If we do not make this effort to recover our dignity, we shall
only sit here to register the arbitrary edicts of one too
powerful a subject." Non riconosci tu Faltero viso? Don't you
at once know the style? Shake those words all altogether-, and
see if they can be any thing but the disiecta membra of Pitt?
In short, about a fortnight ago, bomb burst. Pitt, who is
well, is married, is dissatisfied--not With his bride, but with
the Duke of Newcastle; has twice thundered out his
dissatisfaction in Parliament, and was seconded by Fox. The
event was exactly what I dare say you have already foreseen.
Pitt was to be turned out; overtures were made to Fox; Pitt is
not turned out: Fox is quieted with the dignity of
cabinet-counsellor, and the Duke of Newcastle remains
affronted--and omnipotent. The commentary on this text is too
long for a letter; it may be developed some time or other.
This scene has produced a diverting interlude; Sir George
Lyttelton, who could not reconcile his content with Mr. Pitt's
discontents, has been very ill with the cousinhood. In the
grief of his heart, he thought of resigning his place, but
somehow or other stumbled upon a negotiation for introducing
the Duke of Bedford into the ministry again, to balance the
loss of Mr. Pitt. Whatever persuaded him, he thought this
treaty so sure of success that he lost no time to be the agent
of it himself; and whether commissioned or noncommissioned, as
both he and the Duke of Newcastle say, he carried carte
blanche, to the Duke of Bedford, who bounced like a rocket,
frightened away poor Sir George, and sent for Mr. Pitt to
notify the overture. Pitt and the Grenvilles are outrageous;
the Duke of Newcastle disclaims his ambassador, and every body
laughs. Sir George came hither yesterday, to expectorate with
me, as he called it. Think how I pricked up my ears, as high
as King Midas, to hear a Lyttelton vent his grievances against
a Pitt and Grenvilles! Lord Temple has named Sir George the
apostolic nuncio; and George Selwyn says, "that he will
certainly be invited by Miss Ashe among the foreign ministers."
These are greater storms than perhaps you expected yet; they
have occasioned mighty bustle, and whisper, and speculation;
but you see

Pulveris exigui jactu composta quiescunt.

You will be diverted with a collateral incident. * * * * met
Dick Edgecumbe, and asked him with great importance, if he knew
whether Mr. Pitt was out. Edgecumbe, who thinks nothing
important that is not to be decided by dice, and who,
consequently, had never once thought of Pitt's political state,
replied, "Yes." "Ay! how do you know?" "Why, I called at his
door just now, and his porter told me so." Another political
event is, that Lord E. comes into place: he is to succeed Lord
Fitzwalter, who is to have Lord Grantham's pension, -who is
dead immensely rich: I think this is the last of the old
Opposition, of any name, except Sir John Barnard. If you have
curiosity about the Ohio, you must write to ]France: there I
believe they know something about it; here it was totally
forgot till last night, when an express arrived with an account
of the loss of one of the transports off Falmouth, with
eight officers and sixty men on board.

My Lady Townshend has been dying, and was wofully frightened,
and took prayers; but she is recovered now, even of her
repentance. You will not be undiverted to hear that the mob of
Sudbury have literally sent a card to the mob of Bury, to offer
their assistance at a contested election there: I hope to be
able to tell you in my next, that Mrs. Holman(531) has sent
cards to both mobs for her assembly.

The shrubs shall be sent, but you must stay till the holidays;
I shall not have time to go to Strawberry sooner. I have
received your second letter, dated November 22d, about the
Gothic paper. I hope you will by this time have got mine, to
dissuade you from that thought. If you insist upon it, I will
send the paper: I have told you what I think, and will
therefore say no more on that head; but I will transcribe a
passage which I found t'other day in Petronius, and thought not
unapplicable to you: "Omnium herbarum succos Democritus
expressit; et ne lapidum virgultorumque vis lateret, aetatem
inter experimenta consumpsit." I hope Democritus could not
draw charmingly when he threw away his time in extracting tints
from flints and twigs!

I can't conclude my letter without telling you what an escape I
had at the sale of Dr. Mead's library, which goes extremely
dear. In the catalogue I saw Winstanley's views of Audley-inn,
which I concluded was, as it really was, a thin, dirty folio,
worth about fifteen shillings. As I thought it might be
scarce, it might run to two or three guineas. however, I bid
Graham certainly buy it for me. He came the next morning in a
great fright, said he did not know whether he had done very
right or very wrong, that he had gone as far as nine-and-forty
guineas--I started in such a fright! Another bookseller had
luckily had as unlimited a commission, and bid fifty--when my
Graham begged it might be adjourned, till they could consult
their principals. I think I shall never give an unbounded
commission again, even for views of Les Rochers!(532) Adieu!
Am I ever to see any more of your hand-drawing? Adieu! Yours
ever.

(531) The lady of whom the anecdote is told p. 65, ant`e,
letter 22.-E.

(532) Madame de S`evign`e's seat in Bretagne.

231 Letter 119
To Richard Bentley, Esq.
Strawberry Hill, Dec. 24, 1754. '

My dear Sir,
I received your packet of December 6th last night, but
intending to come hither for a few days, and unluckily sent
away by the coach in the morning a parcel of things for you;
you must therefore wait till another bundle sets out, for the
new letters of Madame S`evign`e. Heaven forbid that I should
have said they were bad! I only meant that they were full of
family details, and mortal distempers, to which the most
immortal of us are subject: and I was sorry that the profane
should ever know that my divinity was ever troubled with a sore
leg, or the want of money; though, indeed, the latter defeats
Bussy@s ill natured accusation of avarice; and her tearing
herself from her daughter, then at Paris, to go and save money
in Bretagne to pay her debts, is a perfection of virtue which
completes her amiable character. My lady Hervey has made me
most happy, by bringing me from Paris an admirable copy of the
very portrait that was Madame de Simiane's: I am going to build
an altar for it, under the title of Notre Dame des Rochers!

Well! but you will want to know the contents of the parcel that
is set out. It Contains another parcel, which contains I don't
know what; but Mr. Cumberland sent it, and desired I would
transmit it to you. There arc Ray's Proverbs, in two volumes
interleaved; a few seeds, mislaid when I sent the last; a very
indifferent new tragedy, called "Barbarossa,"(533) now running;
the author(534) unknown, but believed to be Garrick himself.
There is not one word of Barbarossa's real story, but almost
the individual history of Merope; not one new thought, and,
which is the next material want, but one line of perfect
nonsense;

"And rain down transports in the shape of sorrow."

To complete it, the manners are so ill observed, that a
Mahometan princess royal is at full liberty to visit her lover
in Newgate, like the banker's daughter in George Barnwell. I
have added four more "Worlds,"(535) the second of which will, I
think, redeem my lord Chesterfield's character with you for
wit, except in the two stories, which are very flat: I mean
those of two misspelt letters. In the last "World,"(536)
besides the hand, you will find a story of your acquaintance:
BoncoEur means Norborne Berkeley, whose horse sinking up to his
middle in Woburn park, he would not allow that it was any thing
more than a little damp. The last story of a highwayman
happened almost literally to Mrs. Cavendish.

For news, I think I have none to tell you. Mr. Pitt is gone to
the Bath, and Mr. Fox to Newcastle House; and every body else
into the country for the holidays. When Lord Bath was told of
the first determination of turning out Pitt, and letting Fox
remain, he said it put him in mind of a story of the gunpowder
plot. The Lord Chamberlain was sent to examine the vaults
under the Parliament-house, and, returning with his report,
said he had found five-and-twenty barrels of gunpowder; that he
had removed ten of them, and hoped the other fifteen would do
no harm. Was ever any thing so well and so just?

The Russian ambassador is to give a masquerade for the birth of
the little great prince;(537) the King lends him Somerset
House: he wanted to borrow the palace over against me, and sent
to ask it of the cardinal-nephew (538) who replied, "Not for
half Russia."

The new madness is Oratorys. Macklin has set up one, under the
title of The British Inquisition;(539) Foote another against
him; and a third man has advertised another to-day. I have not
heard enough in their favour to tempt me to them, nor do I in
the world know enough to compose another paragraph. I am here
quite alone; Mr. Chute is setting out for his Vine; but in a
day or two I expect Mr. Williams,(540) George Selwyn, and Dick
Edgecumbe. You will allow that when I do admit any body within
my cloister, I choose them well. My present occupation is
putting up my books; and thanks to arches and pinnacles, and
pierced columns, I shall not appear scantily provided. Adieu!

(533) The tragedy of "Barbarossa" met with some success,
principally from the advantages it appeared under, by the
performance of Garrick and Mossop, in the parts of Achmet and
Barbarossa. Garrick also supplied the prologue and epilogue,.
It being mentioned to Dr. Johnson, that Garrick assisted the
author in the composition of this tragedy, "No, Sir," said the
Doctor, "Browne would no more suffer Garrick to write a line in
his play than he would suffer him to mount his pulpit."-E.

(534) The author was the ingenious but unhappy Dr. John Browne,
who was also author of the "Essays on Satire," occasioned by
the death of Pope, and the celebrated "Estimate of the Manners
and Principles of the Times." He had the misfortune to labour
under a constitutional dejection of spirits; and in September
1766, in an interval of deprivation of reason, put a period to
his existence, in his fifty-first year.-E.

(535) No. 92, Reflections on the Drinking Club; No. 98, On the
Italian Opera; No. 100, On Dr. Johnson's Dictionary; and No.
101, Humorous Observations on the English Language; by Lord
Chesterfield.-E.

(536) No. 103, On Politeness; and the Politeness of
Highwaymen.-E.

(537) The Czar Paul the first.

(538) Henry Earl of Lincoln, nephew to the Duke of Newcastle,
to whose title he succeeded.

(539) The British Inquisition was opened in 1754, by a public
ordinary, where every person was permitted, for three shillings
a-head, to drink port, or claret, or whatever liquor he should
choose. This was succeeded by a lecture on oratory. The plan
did not succeed; for while Macklin was engaged in drilling his
waiters, or fitting himself for the rostrum, his waiters, in
return, were robbing him in all directions; so that, in the
February of this year, he was declared a bankrupt, under the
designation of a vintner.-E.