Bertrand Russell - "The Problems of Philosophy"

Plato - "Laws"

Andrew McFarland Davis - "Indian Games"

Algernon Blackwood - "A Prisoner in Fairyland"

New Philadelphia Book Publisher Highlights Local Talent
Book and Publishing News from Publishers Newswire(tm)

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Books: The Letters of Horace Walpole, Volume 2

H >> Horace Walpole >> The Letters of Horace Walpole, Volume 2




The Princess(506) has breakfasted at the long Sir Thomas
Robinson's at Whitehall; my Lady Townshend will never forgive
it. The second dowager of Somerset(507) is gone to know
whether all her letters from the living to the dead have been
received. Before I bid you good-night, I must tell you of an
admirable curiosity: I was looking over one of our antiquarian
volumes, and in the description of Leeds is an account of Mr.
Thoresby's famous museum there-what do you think is one of the
rarities?--a knife taken from one of the Mohocks! Whether
tradition is infallible or not, as you say, I think so
authentic a relic will make their history indisputable.
Castles, Chinese houses, tombs, negroes, Jews, Irishmen,
princesses, and Mohocks--what a farrago do I send you! I trust
that a letter from England to Jersey has an imposing air, and
that you don't presume to laugh at any thing that comes from
your mother island. Adieu!

(500) Charles Montagu.

(501) Mr. Walpole, in these letters, calls the Strawberry
committee, those of his friends who had assisted in the plans
and Gothic ornaments of Strawberry Hill.

(502) The lady was married to the Earl of Essex on the 1st of
August. She died in childbed, in July 1759.-E.

(503) Mr. Walpole had commissioned Mr. Bentley to send him a
piece of the granite found in the island of Jersey, for a
sideboard in his dining-room.

(504) Colonel Christopher Codrington. He was governor of the
Leeward Islands, and died at Barbadoes in 1710. He bequeathed
his books, and the sum of ten thousand pounds, for the purpose
of erecting and furnishing the above-mentioned library. He
wrote some Latin poems, published in the "Musae Anglicanae,"
and addressed a copy of English verse to Garth on his
Dispensary.-E.

(505) Sampson Gideon, the noted rich Jew. [In 1759, his only
son, being then in his eleventh year, was created an English
baronet; and, in 1789, advanced to the dignity of Lord
Eardley.]

(506) Of Wales.

(507) Frances, oldest daughter and coheir of the Hon. Henry
Thynne. '



217 Letter 109
To The Hon. H. S. Conway.(508)
Strawberry Hill, August 6, 1754.

>From Sunday next, which is the eleventh, till the four or
five-and-twentieth, I am quite unengaged, and will wait upon
you any of the inclusive days, when your house is at leisure,
and you will summon me; therefore you have nothing to do but to
let me know your own time: or, if this period does not suit
you, I believe I shall be able to come to you any part of the
first fortnight in September; for, though I ought to go to
Hagley, it is incredible how I want resolution to tap such a
journey.

I wish you joy of escaping such an accident as breaking the
Duke's(509) leg; I hope he and you will be known to posterity
together by more dignified wounds than the kick of a horse. As
I can never employ my time better than in being your
biographer, I beg you will take care that I may have no such
plebeian mishaps upon my hands or, if the Duke is to fall out
of battle, he has such delicious lions and tigers, which I saw
the day before yesterday at Windsor, that he will be
exceedingly to blame, if he does not give some of them an
exclusive patent for tearing him to pieces.

There is a beautiful tiger at my neighbour Mr. Crammond's here,
of which I am so fond, that my Lady Townshend says it is the
only thing I ever wanted to kiss. As you know how strongly her
ladyship sympathizes with the Duke, she contrived to break the
tendon of her foot, the very day that his leg was in such
danger. Adieu!

P. S. You may certainly do what you please with the Fable;(510)
it is neither worth giving nor refusing.

(508) Now first printed.

(509) The Duke of Cumberland.

(510) The Entail.



218 Letter 110
To George Montagu, Esq.
Strawberry Hill, Aug 29, 1754.

You may be sure that I shall always be glad to see you whenever
you like to come hither, but I cannot help being sorry that you
are determined not to like the place, nor to let the Colonel
like it; a conclusion I may very justly make, when, I think,
for these four years, you have contrived to visit it only when
there is not a leaf upon the trees. Villas are generally
designed for summer; you are the single person who think they
look best in winter. You have still a more unlucky thought;
which Is, to visit the Vine in October. When I saw it in the
middle of summer, it was excessively damp; you will find it a
little difficult to persuade me to accompany you thither On
stilts, and I believe Mr. Chute Will not be quite happy that
you prefer that season; but for this I cannot answer at
present, for he is at Mr. Morris's in Cornwall. I shall expect
you and the Colonel here at the time you appoint. I engage for
no farther, unless it is a very fine season indeed. I beg my
compliments to Miss Montagu, and am yours ever.



218 Letter 111
To Sir Horace Mann.
Arlington Street, Oct. 6, 1754.

You have the kindest way in the world, my dear Sir, of
reproving my long silence, by accusing yourself. I have looked
at my dates, and though I was conscious Of not having written
to you for a long time, I did not think it had been so long as
three months. I ought to make some excuse, and the truth is
all I can make; if you have heard by any way in the world that
a single event worth mentioning has happened in England for
these three months, I will own myself guilty of abominable
neglect. If there has not, as you know my unalterable
affection for you, you will excuse me, and accuse the times.
Can one repeat often, that every thing stagnates? At present we
begin to think that the world may be roused again, and that an
East Indian war and a West Indian war may beget such a thing as
an European war. In short, the French have taken such cavalier
liberties with some of our forts, that are of great consequence
to cover Virginia, Carolina, and Georgia, that we are actually
despatching two regiments thither. As the climate and other
American circumstances are against these poor men, I pity them,
and think them too many, if the French mean nothing farther;
too few, if they do. Indeed, I am one of those that feel less
resentment when we are attacked so far off: I think it an
obligation to be eaten the last.

You have entertained me much with the progress of the history
of the Delmontis, and obliged me. I wish I could say I was not
shocked at the other part of your letter, where you mention the
re-establishment of the Inquisition at Florence. Had Richcourt
power enough to be so infamous! was he superstitious, fearful,
revengeful, or proud of being a tool of the court of Rome?
What is the fate of the poor Florentines, who are reduced to
regret the Medicis, who had usurped their government! You may
be glad, my dear child, that I am not at Florence; I should
distress your ministerial prudence, your necessary prudence, by
taking pleasure to speak openly of Richcourt as he deserves:
you know my warmth upon power and church power!

The Boccaneri seems to be one of those ladies who refine so
much upon debauchery as to make even matrimony enter into their
scheme of profligacy. I have known more than one instance,
since the days of the Signora Messalina, where the lady has not
been content to cuckold her husband but with another husband.
All passions carried to extremity embrace within their circle
even their opposites. I don't know whether Charles the Fifth
did not resign the empire Out Of ambition of more fame. I must
contradict myself in all passions; I don't believe Sir Robert
Brown will ever be so covetous as to find a pleasure in
squandering.

Mr. Chute is much yours: I am going with him in a day or two to
his Vine, where I shall try to draw him into amusing himself a
little with building and planting; hitherto he has done nothing
with his estate-but good.

You will have observed what precaution I had taken, in the
smallness of the sheet, not to have too much paper to fill; and
yet you see how much I have still upon my hands! As, I assure
you, were I to fill the remainder, all I should say would be
terribly wiredrawn, do excuse me: you shall hear an ample
detail of the first Admiral Vernon that springs out of our
American war; and I promise you at least half a brick of the
first sample that is sent over of any new Porto Bello. The
French have tied up the hands of an
excellent fanfaron, a Major Washington,(511) whom they took,
and engaged not to serve for a year. In his letter, he said,
"Believe me, as the cannon-balls flew over my head. they made a
most delightful sound." When your relation, General Guise, was
marching up to Carthagena, and the pelicans whistled round him,
he said, "What would Chlo`e(512) give for some of these to make
a pelican pie?" The conjecture made that scarce a rodomontade;
but what pity it is, that a man who can deal in hyperboles at
the mouth of a cannon, should be fond of them with a glass of
wine in his hand! I have heard Guise affirm, that the colliers
at Newcastle feed their children with fire-shovels! Good night.

(511) This was the celebrated Liberator of America, who had
been serving in the English army against the French for some
time with much distinction.

(512 ) The Duke of Newcastle's French cook.



220 Letter 112
To The Hon. H. S. Conway.(513)
Strawberry Hill, Oct. 24, 1754.

You have obliged me most extremely by telling me the progress
you have made in your most desirable affair.(514) I call it
progress, for, notwithstanding the authority you have for
supposing there may be a compromise, I cannot believe that the
Duke of Newcastle would have affirmed the contrary so directly,
if he had known of it. Mr. Brudenel very likely has been
promised my Lord Lincoln's interest, and then supposed he
should have the Duke's. However, that is not your affair; if
any body has reason to apprehend a breach of promise, it is
poor Mr. Brudenel. He can never come into competition with
you; and without saying any thing to reflect on him, I don't
know where you can ever have a competitor, and not have the
world on your side. Though the tenure is precarious, I cannot
help liking the situation for you. Any thing that sets you in
new lights, must be for your advantage. You are naturally
indolent and humble, and are content with being perfect in
whatever you happen to be. It is not flattering you to Say,
nor can you deny it, with all your modesty, that you have
always made yourself' master of whatever you have attempted,
and have never made yourself master of any thing without
shining extremely in it. If the King lives, you will have his
favour; if he lives it all, the Prince must have a greater
establishment, and then you will have the King's partiality to
countenance your being removed to some distinguished place
about the Prince: if the King should fail, your situation in
his family, and your age, naturally recommend you to an equal
place in the new household. I am the more desirous of seeing
you at court, because, when I consider the improbability of our
being in a situation to make war, I am earnest to have you have
other opportunities of being one of the first men in this
country, besides being a general. Don't think all I say on
this subject compliment. I can have no view in flattering you;
and You have a still better reason for believing me sincere,
which is, that you know well that I thought the same of you,
and professed the same to you, before I was of an age to have
either views or flattery; indeed, I believe you know me enough
to be sure that I am as void of both now as when I was
fourteen, and that I am so little apt to court any body, that
if you heard me say the same to any body but yourself, you
would easily think that I spoke what I thought.

George Montagu and his brother are here, and have kept me from
meeting you in town: we go on Saturday to the Vine. I fear
there is too much truth in what you have heard of your old
mistress.(515) When husband, wife, lover, and friend tell
every thing, can there but be a perpetual fracas? My dear
Harry, how lucky you was in what you escaped, and in what you
have got! People do sometimes avoid, not always, what is most
improper for them; but they do not afterwards always meet with
what they most deserve. But how lucky you are in every thing!
and how ungrateful a man to Providence if you are not thankful
for so many blessings as it has given you! I won't preach,
though the dreadful history which I have just heard of poor
Lord Drumlanrig(516) is enough to send one to La Trappe. My
compliments to all yours, and Adieu!

(513) Now first printed.

(514) His being appointed groom of the bedchamber to the King,
George the Second.-E.

(515) Caroline Fitzroy, Countess of Harrington.-E.

(516) Only son of Charles third Duke of Queensberry, who was
shot by the accidental discharge of his pistol on his journey
from Scotland to London, in company with his parents and newly-
married wife, a daughter of the Earl of Hopetoun. Lady Mary
Wortley thus alludes to this calamity in a letter to her
daughter:--"The Duchess of Queensberry's misfortune would move
compassion in the hardest heart; yet, all circumstances coolly
considered, I think the young lady deserves most to be pitied,
being left in the terrible situation of a young and, I suppose,
rich widowhood; which is walking blindfold upon stilts amidst
precipices, though perhaps as little sensible of her danger, as
a child of a quarter old would be in the paws of a monkey
leaping on the tiles of a house."-E.



221 Letter 113
To Richard Bentley, Esq.
Strawberry Hill, Nov. 3, 1754.

I have finished all my parties, and am drawing towards a
conclusion here: the Parliament meets in ten days: the House, I
hear, will be extremely full--curiosity drawing as many to town
as party used to do. The minister(517) in the house of Lords
is a new sight in these days.

Mr. Chute and I have been at Mr. Barret's(518) at Belhouse; I
never saw a place for which one did not wish, so totally void
of faults. What he has done is in Gothic, and very true,
though not up to the perfection of the committee. The hall is
pretty; the great dining room hung with good family pictures;
among which is his ancestor, the Lord Dacre who was
hanged.(519) I remember when Mr. Barret was first initiated in
the College of Arms by the present Dean of Exeter(520) at
Cambridge, he was overjoyed at the first ancestor he put up,
who was one of the murderers of Thomas Becket. The
chimney-pieces, except one little miscarriage into total Ionic
(he could not resist statuary and Siena marble), are all of a
good King James the First Gothic. I saw the heronry so fatal
to Po Yang, and told him that I was persuaded they were
descended from Becket's assassin, and I hoped from my Lord
Dacre too. He carried us to see the famous plantations and
buildings of the last Lord Petre. They are the Brobdignag of
the bad taste. The Unfinished house is execrable, massive, and
split through and through: it stands on the brow of a hill,
rather to seek for a prospect than to see one, and turns its
back upon an outrageous avenue which is closed with a screen of
tall trees, because he would not be at the expense of
beautifying the black front Of his house. The clumps are
gigantic, and very ill placed.

George Montagu and the Colonel have at last been here, and have
screamed with approbation through the whole Cu-gamut. Indeed,
the library is delightful. They went to the Vine, and approved
as much. Do you think we wished for you? I carried down
incense and mass-books, and we had most Catholic enjoyment Of
the chapel. In the evenings, indeed, we did touch a card a
little to please George--so much, that truly I have scarce an
idea left that is not spotted with clubs, hearts, spades, and
diamonds. There is a vote of the Strawberry committee for
great embellishments to the chapel, of which it will not be
long before you hear something. It will not be longer than the
spring, I trust, before you see something of it. In the mean
time, to rest your impatience, I have enclosed a scratch of
mine which you are to draw out better, and try if you can give
yourself a perfect idea of the place. All I can say is, that
my sketch is at least more intelligible than Gray's was of
Stoke, from which you made so like a picture.

Thank you much for the box of Guernsey lilies, which I have
received. I have been packing up a few seeds, which have
little merit but the merit they will have with you, that they
come from the Vine and Strawberry. My chief employ in this
part of the world, except surveying my library which has scarce
any thing but the painting to finish, is planting at Mrs.
Clive's, whither I remove all my superabundancies. I have
lately planted the green lane, that leads from her garden to
the common: "Well," said she, "when it is done, what shall we
call it?"-" Why," said I, " what would you call it but Drury
Lane?" I mentioned desiring some samples of your Swiss's(521
abilities: Mr. Chute and I even propose, if he should be
tolerable, and would continue reasonable, to tempt him over
hither, and make him work upon your designs-upon which, you
know, it is not easy to make you work. If he improves upon
your hands, do you think we shall purchase the fee-simple of
him for so many years, as Mr. Smith did of Canaletti?(522) We
will sell to the English. Can he paint perspectives, and
cathedral-aisles, and holy glooms? I am sure you could make
him paint delightful insides of the chapel at the Vine, and of
the library here. I never come up the stairs without
reflecting how different it is from its primitive state, when
my Lady Townshend all the way she came up the stairs, cried
out, "Lord God! Jesus! what a house! It is just such a house
as a parson's, where the children lie at the feet of the bed!"
I cant say that to-day it puts me much in mind of another
speech of my lady's, "That it would be a very pleasant place,
if Mrs. Clive's face did not rise upon it and make it so hot!"
The sun and Mrs. Clive seem gone for the winter.

The West Indian war has thrown me into a new study: I read
nothing but American voyages, and histories of plantations and
settlements. Among all the Indian nations, I have contracted a
particular intimacy with the Ontaouanoucs, a people with whom I
beg you will be acquainted: they pique themselves upon speaking
the purest dialect. How one should delight in the grammar and
dictionary of their Crusca! My only fear is, that if any of
them are taken prisoners, General Braddock is not a kind of man
to have proper attentions to so polite a people; I am even
apprehensive that he would damn them, and order them to be
scalped, in the very worst plantation-accent. I don't know
whether you know that none of the people of that immense
continent have any labials: they tell you que c'est ridicule to
shut the lips in order to speak. Indeed, I was as barbarous as
any polite nation in the world, in supposing that there was
nothing worth knowing among these charming savages. They are
in particular great orators, with this little variation from
British eloquence, that at the end of every important paragraph
they make a present; whereas we expect to receive one. They
begin all their answers with recapitulating what has been said
to them; and their method for this is, the respondent gives a
little stick to each of the bystanders, who is, for his share,
to remember such a paragraph of the speech that is to be
answered. You will wonder that I should have given the
preference to the Ontaouanoucs, when there is a much more
extraordinary nation to the north of Canada, who have but one
leg, and p-- from behind their ear; but I own I had rather
converse for any time with people who speak like Mr. Pitt, than
with a nation of jugglers, who are only fit to go about the
country, under the direction of Taafe and Montagu.(523) Their
existence I do not doubt; they are recorded by P`ere
Charlevoix, in his much admired history of New France, in which
there are such outrageous legends of miracles for the
propagation of the Gospel, that his fables in natural history
seem strict veracity.

Adieu! You write to me as seldom as if you were in an island
where the Duke of Newcastle was sole minister, parties at an
end, and where every thing had done happening. Yours ever.

P. S. I have just seen in the advertisements that there are
arrived two new volumes of Madame de S`evign`e's Letters.
Adieu, my American studies!--adieu, even my favourite
Ontaouanoucs!

(517) The Duke of Newcastle.

(518) Afterwards Lord Dacre.

(519) Thomas ninth Lord Dacre. Going, with other young
persons, one night from Herst Monceaux to steal a deer out of
his neighbour, Sir Nicholas Pelham's park (a frolic not unusual
in those days), a fray ensued, and one of the park-keepers
received a blow that caused his death; and although Lord Dacre
was not present on the spot, but in a distant part of the park,
he was nevertheless tried, convicted, and executed, in 1541.
His honours became forfeited, but were restored to his son in
1562.-E.

(520) Dr. Charles Lyttelton, brother of Lord Lyttelton. He was
first a barrister-at-law, but in 1712 entered into holy orders,
and in 1762 was consecrated Bishop of Carlisle. He died in
1768, unmarried.-E.

(521) Mr. Muntz, a Swiss painter.

(522) Mr. Smith, the English consul at Venice, had engaged
Canaletti for a certain number of years to paint exclusively
for him, at a fixed price, and sold his pictures at an advanced
price to English travellers.

(523) See ant`e 93, letter 35.-E.



224 Letter 114
To Richard Bentley, Esq.
Arlington Street, November 11, 1754.

If you was dead, to be sure you would have got somebody to tell
me so. If you was alive, to be sure in all this time you would
have told me so yourself. It is a month to-day since I
received a line from you. There was a Florentine ambassador
here in Oliver's reign, who with great circumspection wrote to
his court, "Some say the Protector is dead, others say he is
not: for my part, I believe neither one nor t'other." I quote
this sage personage, to show you that I have a good precedent,
in case I had a mind to continue neutral upon the point of your
existence. I can't resolve to believe you dead, lest I should
be forced to write to Mr. S. again to bemoan you; and on the
other hand, it is convenient to me to believe you living,
because I have just received the enclosed from your sister, and
the money from Ely. However, if you are actually dead, be so
good as to order your executor to receive the money, and to
answer your sister's letter. If you are not dead, I can tell
you who is, and at the same time whose death is to remain as
doubtful as yours till to-morrow morning Don't be alarmed! it
is only the Queen-dowager of Prussia. As excessive as the
concern for her is at court, the whole royal family, out of
great consideration for the mercers, lacemen, etc. agreed not
to shed a tear for her till tomorrow morning, when the birthday
will be over; but they are all to rise by six o'clock to-morrow
morning to cry quarts. This is the sum of all the news that I
learnt to-day on coming from Strawberry Hill, except that Lady
Betty Waldegrave was robbed t'other night In Hyde Park, under
the very noses of the lamps and the patrol. If any body is
robbed at the ball at court to-night, you shall hear in my next
despatch. I told you in my last that I had just got two new
volumes of Madame S`evign`e's Letters; but I have been cruelly
disappointed; they are two hundred letters which had been
omitted in the former editions, as having little or nothing
worth reading. How provoking, that they would at last let one
see that she could write so many letters that were not worth
reading! I will tell you the truth: as they are certainly hers,
I am glad to see them, but I cannot bear that any body else
should. Is not that true sentiment? How would you like to see
a letter of hers, describing a wild young Irish lord, a Lord P
* * * *, who has lately made one of our ingenious wagers, to
ride I don't know how many thousand miles in an hour, from
Paris to Fontainebleau? But admire the politesse of that
nation: instead of endeavouring to lame his horse, or to break
his neck, that he might lose the wager, his antagonist and the
spectators showed all the attention in the world to keep the
road clear, and to remove even pebbles out of his way. They
heaped coals of fire upon his head with all the good breeding
of the Gospel. Adieu! If my letters are short, at least my
notes are long.



225 Letter 115
To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, Nov. 16, 1754.

You are over-good to me, my dear Sir, in giving yourself the
trouble of telling me you was content with Strawberry Hill. I
will not, however, tell you, that I am Content with your being
there, till you have seen it in all its greenth and blueth.
Alas! I am sorry I cannot insist upon as much with the Colonel.

Mr. Chute, I believe, was so pleased with the tenebra in his
own chapel, that he has fairly buried himself in it. I have
not even had so much as a burial card from him since.