Books: The Letters of Horace Walpole Volume 3

H >> Horace Walpole >> The Letters of Horace Walpole Volume 3

Pages:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 | 67

If I could divest myself of my wicked--and unphilosophic bent to
laughing, I should do very well. They are very civil and
obliging to me, and several of the women are very agreeable, and
some of the men. The Duc de Nivernois has been beyond measure
kind to me, and scarce missed a day without coming to see me
during my confinement. The Guerchys are. as usual, all
friendship. I had given entirely into supping, as I do not love
rising early, and still less meat breakfasts. The misfortune is,
that in several houses they dine, and at others sup.

You will think it odd that I should want to laugh, when Wilkes,
Sterne, and Foote are here; but the first does not make me laugh,
the second never could, and for the third, I choose to pay five
shillings when I have a mind he should divert me. Besides, I
certainly did not come in search of English: and yet the man I
have liked the best in Paris is an Englishman, Lord Ossory, who
is one of the most sensible young men I ever saw, with a great
deal of Lord Tavistock in his manner.

The joys of Fontainbleau I miss by my illness--Patienza! If the
gout deprived me of nothing better than a court.

The papers say the Duke of Dorset(902) is dead; what has he done
for Lord George? You cannot be so unconscionable as not to
answer me. I don't ask who is to have his riband; nor how many
bushels of fruit the Duke of Newcastle's dessert for the
Hereditary Prince contained, nor how often he kissed him for the
sake of "the dear house of Brunswick"--No, keep your politics to
yourselves; I want to know none of them:-when I do, and
authentically, I will write to my Lady * * * * or Charles
Townshend.

Mrs. Pit's friend, Madame de Rochefort, is one of my principal
attachments, and very agreeable indeed. Madame de Mirepoix
another. For my admiration, Madame de Monaco--but I believe you
don't doubt my Lord Hertford's taste in sensualities. March's
passion, Marechalle d'Estr`ees, is affected, cross, and not all
handsome. The Princes of the blood are pretty much retired, do
not go to Portsmouth and Salisbury once a week, nor furnish every
other paragraph to the newspapers. Their campaigns are confined
to killing boars and stags, two or three hundred in a year.
Adieu! Mr. Foley is my banker; or it is still more sure if you
send your letter to Mr. Conway's office.

(901) Of the Hoo, in Hertfordshire. See vol. ii. p. 211, letter
103.-E.

(902) Lionel Cranfield Sackville, seventh Earl and first Duke of
Dorset: he died on the 10th of October. Lord George Sackville
was his third son.-E.

Letter 278 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Paris, Oct. 28, 1765. (page 440)

Mr. Hume sends me word from Fontainbleau, that your brother, some
time in the spring of 1764, transmitted to the English ministry a
pretty exact and very authentic account of the French finances;"
these are his words: and "that it will be easily found among his
lordship's despatches of that period." To the other question I
have received no answer: I suppose he has not yet been able to
inform himself.

This goes by an English coachman of Count Lauragais, sent over to
buy more horses; therefore I shall write a little ministerially,
and, perhaps, surprise you, if you are not already apprised of
things in the light I see them.

The Dauphin will probably hold out very few days. His death,
that is, the near prospect of it, fills the philosophers with the
greatest joy, as it was feared he would endeavour the restoration
of the Jesuits. You will think the sentiments of the
philosophers very odd stale news --but do you know who the
philosophers are, or what the term means here? In the first
place, it comprehends almost every body; and in the next, means
men, who, avowing war against popery, aim, many of them, at a
subversion of all religion, and still many more, at the
destruction of regal power. How do you know this? you will say;
you, who have been but six weeks in France, three of which you
have been confined to your chamber? True: but in the first period
I went every where, and heard nothing else: in the latter, I have
been extremely visited, and have had long and explicit
conversations with many, who think as I tell you, and with a few
of the other side, who are no less persuaded that there are such
intentions. In particular. I had two officers here t'other
night, neither of them young, whom I had difficulty to keep from
a serious quarrel, and who, in the heat of the dispute, informed
me of much more than I could have learnt with great pains.

As a proof that my ideas are not quite visions, I send you a most
curious paper;(903) such as I believe no magistrate would have
pronounced in the time of Charles 1. I should not like to have it
known to come from me, nor any part of the intelligence I send
you; with regard to which, if you think it necessary to
communicate it to particular persons, I desire my name may be
suppressed. I tell it for your satisfaction and information, but
would not have any body else think that I do any thing here but
amuse myself; my amusements indeed are triste enough, and consist
wholly in trying to get well; but my recovery moves very slowly.
I have not yet had any thing but cloth shoes on, live sometimes a
whole day on warm water, and am never tolerably well till twelve
or one o'clock.

I have had another letter from Sir Horace Mann, who has much at
heart his riband and increase of character. Consequently you
know, as I love him so much, I must have them at heart too.
Count Lorenzi is recalled, because here they think it necessary
to send a Frenchman of higher rank to the new grand ducal court.
I wish Sir Horace could be raised on this occasion. For his
riband, his promise is so old and so positive, that it is quite a
hardship.

Pray put the colonies in good-humour: I see they are violently
Disposed to the new administration. I have not time to say more,
nor more to say if I had time; so good night! Let me know if you
receive this, and how soon: it goes the day after to-morrow.
Various reports say the Duke of Richmond comes this week. I sent
you a letter by Monsieur de Guerchy. Dusson, I hear, goes
ambassador to Poland. Tell Lady Ailesbury that I have five or
six little parcels, though not above one for her, of laces and
ribands, which Lady Cecilic left Wit me: but how to convey them
the Lord knows. Yours ever.

(903) This paper does not appear.

Letter 279 To Mr. Gray.
Paris, Nov. 19, 1765. (page 441)

You are very kind to inquire so particularly after my gout. I
wish I may not be so circumstantial in my answer: but you have
tapped a dangerous topic; I can talk gout by the hour. It is my
great mortification, and has disappointed all the hopes that I
had built on temperance and hardiness. I have resisted like a
hermit, and exposed myself to all weathers and seasons like a
smuggler; and in vain. I have, however, still so much of the
obstinacy of both professions left, that I think I shall
continue, and cannot obey you in keeping myself warm. I have
gone through my second fit under one blanket, and already go
about in a silk waistcoat with my bosom unbuttoned. In short, I
am as prejudiced to try regimen, though so ineffectual, as I
could have been to all I expected from it. The truth is, I am
almost as willing to have the gout as to be liable to catch cold;
and must run up stairs and down, in and out of doors, when I
will, or I cannot have the least satisfaction. This will
convince you how readily I comply with another of your precepts,
walking as soon as am able.--For receipts, you may trust me for
making use of none; I would not see a physician at the worst, but
have quacked as boldly as quacks treat others. I laughed at your
idea of quality receipts, it came so apropos. There is not a man
or woman here that is not a perfect old nurse, and who does not
talk gruel and anatomy with equal fluency and ignorance. One
instance shall serve: Madame de Bouzols, Marshal Berwick's
daughter, assured me there was nothing so good for the gout, as
to preserve the parings of my nails in a bottle close stopped.
When I try any illustrious nostrum, I shall give the preference
to this.

So much for the gout!(904) I told you what was coming. As to
the ministry, I know and care very little about them. I told you
and told them long ago, that if ever a change happened I would
bid adieu to politics for ever. Do me the Justice to allow that
I have not altered with the time. I was so impatient to put this
resolution in execution that I hurried out of England before I
was sufficiently recovered. I shall not run the same hazard again
in haste; but will stay here till I am perfectly well, and the
season of warm weather coming on or arrived; though the charms of
Paris have not the least attraction for me, nor would keep me an
hour on their own account. For the city itself, I cannot
conceive where my eyes were: it Is the ugliest beastliest town in
the universe. I have not seen a mouthful of verdure out of it,
nor have they any thing green but their treillage and
window-shutters. Trees cut into fire-shovels, and stuck into
pedestals of chalk, Compose their country. Their boasted
knowledge of society is reduced to talking of their suppers, and
every malady they have about them, or know of. The Dauphin is at
the point of death; every morning the physicians frame in account
of him; and happy is he or she who can produce a copy of this
lie, called a bulletin. The night before last, one of these was
produced at supper where I was; it was read, and said he had une
evacuation foetide. I beg your pardon, though you are not at
supper. The old lady of the house(905) (who by the way is quite
blind, was the Regent's mistress for a fortnight, and is very
agreeable) called out, "Oh! they have forgot to mention that he
threw down his chamber-pot, and was forced to change his bed."
There were present several women of the first rank; as Madame de
la Vali`ere, whom you remember Duchesse de Vaujour, and who is
still miraculously pretty, though fifty-three; a very handsome
Madame de Forcalquier, and others--nor was this conversation at
all particular to that evening.

Their gaiety is not greater than their delicacy--but I will not
expatiate. In short, they are another people from what they
were. They may be growing wise, but the intermediate passage is
dulness. Several of the women are agreeable, and some of the
men; but the latter are in general vain and ignorant. The
savans--I beg their pardons, the philosophes--are insupportable,
superficial, overbearing, and fanatic: they preach incessantly,
and their avowed doctrine is atheism; you would not believe how
openly--Don't wonder, therefore, if I should return a Jesuit.
Voltaire himself does not satisfy them. One of their lady
devotees said of him, "Il est bigot, c'est un d`eiste."

I am as little pleased with their taste in trifles. Cr`ebillon
is entirely out of fashion, and Marivaux a proverb: marivauder
and marivaudage are established terms for being prolix and
tiresome. I thought that we were fallen, but they are ten times
lower.

Notwithstanding all I have said, I have found two or three
societies that please me; am amused with the novelty of the
whole, and should be sorry not to have come. The Dumenil is, if
possible, superior to what you remember. I am sorry not to see
the Clairon; but several persons whose judgments seem the
soundest prefer the former. Preville is admirable in low comedy.
The mixture of Italian comedy and comic operas, prettily written,
and set to Italian music, at the same theatre, is charming, and
gets the better both of their operas and French comedy; the
latter of which is seldom full, with all its merit.
Petit-maitres are obsolete, like our Lords Foppington--but le
monde est philosophe--When I grow very sick of this last
nonsense, I go and compose myself at the Chartreuse, where I am
almost tempted to prefer Le Soeur to every painter I know. Yet
what new old treasures are come to light, routed out of the
Louvre, and thrown into new lumber-rooms at Versailles!--But I
have not room to tell you what I have seen! I will keep this and
other chapters for Strawberry. Adieu! and thank you.

Old Mariette has shown me a print by Diepenbecke of the Duke and
Duchess of Newcastle(906) at dinner with their family. You would
oblige me, if you would look into all their graces' folios, and
see if it is not a frontispiece to some one of them. Then he has
such a Petitot of Madame d'Olonne! The Pompadour offered him
fifty louis for it(907)--Alack, so would I!

(904) The following is Gray's reply, of the 13th of December:-
-"You have long built your hopes on temperance, you say, and
hardiness. On the first point we are agreed; the second has
totally disappointed you, and therefore you will persist in it by
all means. But then, be sure to persist too in being young, in
stopping the course of time, and making the shadow return back
upon your sun-dial. If you find this not so easy, acquiesce with
a good grace in my anilities; put on your understockings of yarn,
or woollen, even in the night-time. Don't provoke me, or I shall
order you two nightcaps, (which, by the way, would do your eyes
good,) and put a little of any French liqueur into your water;
they are nothing but brandy and sugar; and among their various
flavours, some of them may surely be palatable enough, The pain
in your feet I can bear; but shudder at the sickness of your
stomach and the weakness that still continues. I conjure you, as
you love yourself--I conjure you by Strawberry, not to trifle
with these edge-tools. There is no cure for the gout, when in
the stomach, but to throw it into the limbs; There is no relief
for gout in the limbs, but in gentle warmth and gradual
perspiration." Works, vol. iv. p. 68.-E.

(905) Madame du Deffand.-E.

(906) Prefixed to some copies of the Duchess's work, entitled
"The World's Olio,--Nature's Pictures drawn by Fancy's Pencil to
the life," (folio, London, 1653,) is a print, Diepenbeck, del.,
P. Clouvet sc., half sheet, containing portraits of William
Cavendish, Duke of Newcastle, (celebrated as a Cavalier general
during the civil wars, and commonly styled the loyal Duke of
Newcastle,) his Duchess, and their family.-E.

(907) This miniature eventually became his property. In a letter
from madame du Deffand of the 12th of December 1775, she says:-
-"J'ai Madame d'Olonne entre les mains; vous voil`a au comble de
la joie; mais moderez-en la, en apprenant que ses galans ne la
payaient pas plus cher de son vivant que vous ne la payez apr`es
sa mort; (@lle vous coute trois mille deux cents livres."-E.

Letter 280 To The Right Hon. Lady Hervey.
Paris, Nov. 21, 1765. (page 444)

Madame Geoffrin has given me a parcel for your ladyship with two
knotting-bags, which I will send by the first opportunity that
seems safe:'--but I hear of nothing but difficulties; and shall,
I believe, be saved from ruin myself, from not being able to
convey any purchases into England. Thus I shall have made an
almost fruitless journey to France, if I can neither fling away
my money, nor preserve my health. At present, indeed, the gout
is gone. I have had my house swept, and made as clean as I
could-no very easy matter in this country; but I live in dread of
seven worse spirits entering in. The terror I am under of a new
fit has kept me from almost seeing any thing. The damps and fogs
are full as great and frequent here as in London; but there is a
little frost to-day, and I shall begin my devotions tomorrow. It
is not being fashionable to visit churches: but I am de la
vieille cour; and I beg your ladyship to believe that I have no
youthful pretensions. The Duchess of Richmond tells me that they
have made twenty foolish stories about me in England; and say
that my person is admired here. I cannot help what is said
without foundation; but the French have neither lost their eyes,
nor I my senses. A skeleton I was born--skeleton I am--and death
will have no trouble in making me one. I have not made any
alteration in my dress, and certainly did not study it In
England. Had I had any such ridiculous thoughts, the gout is too
sincere a monitor to leave one under any such error. Pray,
Madam, tell Lord and Lady Holland what I say: they have heard
these idle tales; and they know so many of my follies, that I
should be sorry they believed more of me than are true. If all
arose from madame Geoffrin calling me in Joke le nouveau
Richelieu, I give it under my hand that I resemble him in nothing
but wrinkles.

Your ladyship is much in the right to forbear reading politics.
I never look at the political letters that come hither in the
Chronicles. I was sick to death of them before I set out; and
perhaps should not have stirred from home, if I had not been sick
of them and all they relate to. If any body could write ballads
and epigrams, `a la bonne heure! But dull personal abuse in prose
is tiresome indeed. A serious invective against a pickpocket, or
written by a pickpocket, who has so little to do as to read?

The Dauphin continues languishing to his exit, and keeps every
body at Fontainbleau. There is a little bustle now about the
parliament of Bretagne; but you may believe, Madam, that when I
was tired of the squabbles at London, I did not propose to
interest myself in quarrels at Hull or Liverpool. Indeed, if the
Duc de Chaulnes(908) commanded at Rennes, or Pomenars(909) was
sent to prison, I might have a little curiosity. You wrong me in
thinking I quoted a text from my Saint(910) ludicrously. On the
contrary I am so true a bigot, that if she could have talked
nonsense, I should, like any other bigot, believe she was
inspired.

The season and the emptiness of Paris, prevent any thing new from
appearing. All I can send your ladyship is a very pretty
logogriphe, made by the old blind Madame du Deffand, whom perhaps
you know--certainly must have heard of. I sup there very
often;(911) and she gave me this last night-you must guess it.

Quoique je forme un corps, je ne suis qu'une id`ee;
Plus ma beaut`e vieillit, plus elle est decid`ee:
Il faut, pour me trouver, ignorer d'o`u je viens;
Je tiens tout de lui, qui reduit tout `a rien.(912)

Lady Mary Chabot inquires often after your ladyship. Your other
two friends are not yet returned to Paris; but I have had several
obliging messages from the Duchess d'Aiguillon.

It pleased me extremely, Madam, to find no mention of your own
gout in your letter. I always apprehend it for you, as you try
its temper to the utmost, especially by staying late in the
country, which you know it hates. Lord! it has broken my spirit
so, that I believe it might make me leave Strawberry at a
minute's warning. It has forbidden me tea, and been obeyed; and
I thought that one of the most difficult points to carry with me.
Do let us be well, Madam, and have no gouty notes to compare! I
am your ladyship's most faithful, humble servant.

(908) Governor of Britany in the time of Madame de S`evign`e.

(909) See Madame de S`evign`e's Letters.

(910) Madame de S`evign`e.

(911) Madame du Deffand had, at this time, a supper at her house
every Sunday evening, at which Walpole, during his stay at Paris,
constantly made one of the company.-E.

(912) The word is noblesse.

Letter 281 To George Montagu, Esq.
Paris, Nov. 21, 1765. (page 445)

You must not be surprised when my letters arrive long after their
date. I write them at my leisure, and send them when I find any
Englishman going to London, that I may not be kept in check, if
they were to pass through both French and English posts. Your
letter to Madame Roland, and the books for her, will Set Out very
securely in a day or two. My bookseller here happens to be of
Rheims, and knows Madame Roland, comme deux gouttes d'eau. This
perhaps is not a well-placed simile, but the French always use
one, and when they are once established, and one knows the tune,
it does not signify sixpence for the sense.

My gout and my stick have entirely left me. I totter still, it
is true, but I trust shall be able to whisk about at Strawberry
as well almost as ever. When that hour strikes, to be sure I
shall not be very sorry. The sameness of the life here is worse
than any thing but English politics and the House of Commons.
Indeed, I have a mind still to see more people here, more sights,
and more of the Dumenil. The Dauphin, who is not dead yet,
detains the whole court at Fontainbleau, whither I dare not
venture, as the situation is very damp, and the lodgings
abominable. Sights, too, I have scarce seen any yet; and I must
satisfy my curiosity; for hither, I think, I shall never come
again. No, let us sit down quietly and comfortably, and enjoy
our coming old age. Oh! if you are in earnest, and will
transplant yourself to Roehampton, how happy I shall be! You
know, if you believe an experience of above thirty years, that
you are one of the very, very few, for whom I really care a
straw. You know how long I have been vexed at seeing so little
of you. What has one to do, when one grows tired of the world,
as we both do, but to draw nearer and nearer, and gently waste
the remains of life with the friends with whom one began it!
Young and happy people will have no regard for us and our old
stories, and they are in the right: but we shall not tire one
another; we shall laugh together when nobody is by to laugh at
us, and we may think ourselves young enough when we see nobody
younger. Roehampton is a delightful spot, at once cheerful and
retired. You will amble in your chaise about Richmond-park: we
shall see one another as often as we like; I shall frequently
peep at London, and bring you tales of it, and we shall sometimes
touch a card with the Clive, and laugh our fill; for I must tell
you, I desire to die when I have nobody left to laugh with me. I
have never yet seen or heard any thing serious, that was not
ridiculous. Jesuits, Methodists, philosophers, politicians, the
hypocrite Rousseau, the scoffer Voltaire, the encyclopedists, the
Humes, the Lytteltons, the Grenvilles, the atheist tyrant of
Prussia, and the mountebank of history, Mr. Pitt, all are to me
but impostors in their various ways. Fame or interest is their
object; and after all their parade, I think a ploughman who sows,
reads his almanack, and believes the stars but so many farthing
candles, created to prevent his falling into a ditch as he goes
home at night, a wiser and more rational being, and I am sure an
honester than any of them. Oh! I am sick of visions and systems,
that shove one another aside, and come over again, like the
figures in a moving picture. Rabelais brightens up to me as I
see more of the world; he treated it as it deserved, laughed at
it all, and, as I judge from myself, ceased to hate it; for I
find hatred an unjust preference. Adieu!

Letter 282 To The Right Hon. Lady Hervey.
Paris, Nov. 28, 1765. (page 447)

What, another letter! Yes, Madam; though I must whip and spur, I
must try to make my thanks keep up with your favours: for any
other return, you have quite distanced me. This is to
acknowledge the receipt of the Duchess d'Aiguillon--you may set
what sum you please against the debt. She is delightful, and has
much the most of a woman of quality of any I have seen, and more
cheerfulness too: for, to show your ladyship that I am sincere,
that my head is not turned, and that I retain some of my
prejudices still, I avow that gaiety, whatever it was formerly,
is no longer the growth of this country, and I will own too that
Paris can produce women of quality that I should not call women
of fashion; I will not use so ungentle a term as vulgar; but from
their indelicacy, I could call it still worse. Yet with these
faults, and the latter is an enormous one in my English eyes,
many of the women are exceedingly agreeable. I cannot say so
much for the men--always excepting the Duc de Nivernois. You
would be entertained, for a quarter of an hour, with his
Duchess--she is the Duke of Newcastle properly placed, that is,
chattering incessantly out of devotion, and making interest
against the devil, that she may dispose of bishoprics in the next
world.

Madame d'Egmont is expected to-day, which will run me again into
arrears. I don't l(now how it is. Yes, I do: it is natural to
impose on bounty, and I am like the rest of the world; I am going
to abuse your goodness because I know nobody's so great. Besides
being the best friend in the world, you are the best
commissionnaire in the world, Madam - you understand from
friendship to scissors. The enclosed model was trusted to me, to
have two pair made as well as possible--but I really blush at my
impertinence. However, all the trouble I mean to give your
ladyship is, to send your groom of the chambers to bespeak them;
and a pair besides of the common size for a lady, as well made as
possible, for the honour of England's steel.

The two knotting-bags from Madame Geoffrin went away by a
clergyman two days ago; and I concerted all the tricks the doctor
and I could think of, to elude the vigilance of the customhouse
officers.