Books: The Letters of Horace Walpole Volume 3

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I hope to hear that your little boy is recovered. Adieu! I have
filled my gazette, and exhausted my memory. I am glad such
gazettes please you - I can have no other excuse for sending such
tittle-tattle.

(396) This transaction was an endeavour on the part of Mr.
Grenville to obtain from General Conway a declaration that "his
disposition was not averse from a general support of the persons
and measures of those now employed," and permission " to say so
much when he might have occasion to speak to him." This
declaration General Conway declined to give, although Mr.
Grenville seemed to ask it only to enable him to save Conway from
dismissal on account of his late vote. There is reason to
believe that at this conference (at which the Duke of Richmond
was present, as Conway's friend) some overtures of a more
intimate connexion with the administration were made; but Conway
declared his determination to adhere to the politics of his
friends, the Dukes of Devonshire and Grafton. "At least," he
said, "if he should hereafter happen to differ from them, he
should so steer his conduct as not to be, in any way of office or
emolument, the better for it."-C.

(397) Isaac Barr`e was a native of Ireland, and born in 1726: he
entered the army early in life, and rose, gradually to the rank
of colonel. He was in 1763 made adjutant-general and the
governor of Stirling Castle, but was turned out on this occasion,
and even resigned his half-pay. He continued to make a
considerable figure in the House of Commons: in 1782 he became a
privy-councillor and treasurer of the navy, which latter office
he soon exchanged for paymaster of the forces; but on the change
of government he retired on a pension of 3200 pounds, which his
political friends had previously secured for him. From this time
his sight failed him, and he was quite blind for many years
previous to his death, which took place in 1802.-C.

(398) Captain James, afterwards Sir James Campbell, of
Ardkinglass: a captain in the army, and member for the county of
Stirling.-E.

(399) Major-General Edward Harvey, lieutenant-general in 1772.-E.

(400) Colonel Barr`e, previous to his dismissal, had
distinguished himself by an attack on Mr. Pitt, which is not
reported in the Parliamentary Debates.-C. [In the Chatham
Correspondence, vol. ii. p. 171, will be found the following
passage, in a letter from Mr. Symmers to Sir Andrew Mitchell,
dated January 29, 1762:--"Would you know a little of the humour
of Parliament, and particularly with regard to Mr. Pitt?' I must
tell you that Colonel Barr`e, a soldier of fortune, a young man
born in Dublin, of a mean condition, his father and mother from
France, and established in a little grocer's shop by the
patronage of the Bishop of Clogher; a child of whom the mother
nursed; this young man (a man of address and parts), found
out, pushed, and brought into Parliament by Lord Shelburne, had
not sat two days in the House of Commons before he attacked Mr.
Pitt. I shall give you a specimen of his philippics. Talking in
the manner of Mr. Pitt's speaking, he said, 'There he would
stand, turning up his eyes to heaven, that witnessed his
perjuries, and laying his hand in a solemn manner upon the table,
that sacrilegious hand, that hand that had been employed in
tearing out the bowels of his mother country!' Would you think
that Mr. Pitt would bear this and be silent; or would you think
that the House would suffer a respectable member to be so
treated? Yet so it Was."]

(401) In the House of Commons, a few days before, Mr. Pitt had
condemned the whole series of North Britons, and called them
illiberal, unmanly, and detestable: "he abhorred," he said, "all
national reflections: the King's subjects were one people;
whoever divided them was guilty of sedition: his Majesty's
complaint was well-founded; it was just; it was necessary: the
author did not deserve to be ranked among the human species; he
was the blasphemer of his God and the libeller of the King."-E.

(402) This improbable event a few weeks brought about. We shall
see that Mr. Walpole did sing his Palinodia, and went down to
Claremont to eat a bit of mutton with the man in the world whom
(as all his writings, but especially his lately published
Memoires, show) he had most heartily hated and despised.-C.

(403) Philip Carteret Webb, Esq. solicitor to the treasury and
member for Haslemere.-E.

(404) George third Earl of Cholmondeley; born in 1703: married
Mr. Walpole's only legitimate sister, who died at Aix in 1731;
and as all Sir Robert Walpole's sons died without issue, Lord
Cholmondeley's family succeeded to Houghton, and the rest of the
Walpole property, as heirs-at-law of Sir Robert.-C.

(405) John, second Earl of Egmont, at this time first lord of the
admiralty. Lord Egmont had been in the House of Commons what
Coxe calls "a fluent and plausible debater;" but he had some
peculiarities of mind, to which Walpole here and elsewhere
alludes.-C.

(406) James, eighth Earl of Abercorn, "a nobleman," says his
panegyrist, "whose character was but little known, or rather but
little understood; but who possessed singular vigour of mind,
integrity of conduct, and patriotic views." Mr. Walpole elsewhere
laughs at his lordship's dignified aversion to throwing away his
words.-C.

(407) An action brought by Wilkes against Robert Wood, Esq. late
under-secretary of State for seizing Wilkes's papers, etc. It
was tried before Chief Justice Pratt, and under his direction the
jury found for the plaintiff.-C.

(408) Sir Fletcher Norton was not made attorney-general till
after this trial.-E.

(409) Mr. John Fielding, chief police magistrate.-E.

(410) The robbery was committed by one Bradley, a discharged
footman, and one John Wisket. The former was admitted a witness
for the crown, and the latter was hanged on his evidence, in Dec.
1764.-C.

Letter 185 To The Earl Of Hertford.
Arlington Street, Dec. 16, 1763. (page 261)

On the very day I wrote to you last, my dear lord, an
extraordinary event happened, which I did not then know. A
motion was made in the common council, to thank the sheriffs for
their behaviour at the riot, and to prosecute the man who was
apprehended for it. This was opposed, and the previous question
being put, the numbers were equal; but the casting vote of the
Lord Mayor(411) was given against putting the first
question--pretty strong proceeding; for though, in consequence
and in resentment of the Duke of Bedford's speech, it seemed to
justify his grace, who had accused the mayor and magistracy of
not trying to suppress the tumult; if they will not prosecute the
rioters, it is not very unfair to surmise that they did not
dislike the riot. Indeed, the city is so inflamed, and the
ministry so obnoxious, that I am very apprehensive of some
violent commotion. The court have lost the Essex election(412)
merely from Lord Sandwich interfering in it, and from the Duke of
Bedford's speech; a great number of votes going from the city on
that account to vote for Luther. Sir John Griffin,(413) who was
disobliged by Sandwich's espousing Conyers, went to Chelmsford,
at the head of five hundred voters.

One of the latest acts of the ministry will not please my Lady
Hertford: they have turned out her brother, Colonel Fitzroy:(414
Fitzherbert,(415) too, is removed; and, they say, Sir Joseph
Yorke recalled.(416) I must do Lord Halifax and Mr. Grenville
the justice to say that these violences are not imputed to them.
It is certain that the former was the warmest opposer of the
measure for breaking the officers; and Mr. Grenville's friends
take every opportunity of throwing the blame on the Duke of
Bedford and Lord Sandwich. The Duchess of Bedford, who is too
fond a Wife not to partake in all her husband's fortunes, has
contributed her portion of indiscretion. At a great dinner,
lately, at Lord Halifax's, all the servants present, mention
being made of the Archbishop of Canterbury,(417) M. de Guerchy
asked the Duchess, "Est-il de famille?" She replied, "Oh! mon
Dieu, non, il a `et`e sage-femme." The mistake of sage-femme for
accoucheur, and the strangeness of the proposition, confounded
Guerchy so much, that it was necessary to explain it: but think
of a minister's wife telling a foreigner, and a Catholic, that
the primate of her own church had been bred a man-midwife!

The day after my last, another verdict was given in the common
Pleas, of four hundred pounds to the printers; and another
episode happened, relating to Wilkes; one Dunn, a mad Scotchman,
was seized in Wilkes's house, whither he had gone intending to
assassinate him. This was complained of in the House of Commons,
but the man's phrensy was verified; it was even proved that he
had notified his design in a coffee-house, some days before. The
mob, however, who are determined that Lord Sandwich shall answer
for every body's faults, as well as his own, believe that he
employed Dunn. I wish the recess, which begins next Monday, may
cool matters a little, for indeed it grows very serious.

Nothing is discovered of Lord Harrington's robbery, nor do I know
any other news, but that George West(418) is to marry lady Mary
Grey. The Hereditary Prince's wound is broken out again, and
will defer his arrival. We have had a new comedy,(419) written
by Mrs. Sheridan, and admirably acted; but there was no wit in
it, and it was so vulgar that it ran but three nights.

Poor Lady Hervey desires you will tell Mr. Hume how incapable she
is of answering his letter. She has been terribly afflicted for
these six weeks with a complication of gout, rheumatism, and a
nervous complaint. She cannot lie down in her bed, nor rest two
minutes in her chair. I never saw such continued suffering.

You say in your last, of the 7th, that you have omitted to invite
no Englishman of rank or name. This gives me an opportunity, my
dear lord, of mentioning one Englishman, not of great rank, but
who is very unhappy that you have taken no notice of him. You
know how utterly averse I am to meddle, or give impertinent
advice; but the letter I saw was expressed with so much respect
and esteem for you, that you would love the person. It is Mr.
Selwyn, the banker. He says, he expected no favour; but the
great regard he has for the amiableness of your character, makes
him miserable at being totally undistinguished by you. He has so
good a character himself and is so much beloved by many persons
here that you know, that I think you will not dislike my putting
you in mind of him. The letter was not to me, nor to any friend
of mine; therefore, I am sure, unaffected. I saw the whole
letter, and he did not even hint at its being communicated to me.

I have not mentioned Lady Holdernesse's presentation, though I by
no means approve it, nor a Dutch woman's lowering the peerage of
England. Nothing of that sort could make me more angry, except a
commoner's wife taking such a step; for you know I have all the
pride of A citizen of Rome, while Rome survives: In that respect
my name is thoroughly Horatius.

(411) William Bridgen, Esq.-E.

(412) John Luther, Esq. was returned for Essex, on the popular
interest, after a severe and most expensive contest.-C.

(413) Sir john Griffin Griffin, K. B., major-general and colonel
of the 33d regiment; member for Andover. He established, in
1784, a claim to the barony of Howard de Walden, and was created,
in 1788,
Baron Braybrook, with remainder to A. A. Neville, Esq. He died
in 1797.-C.

(414) Colonel Charles Fitzroy, member for Bury, afterwards Lord
Southampton. It seems strange that Mr. Walpole should be
mistaken in such a point; but Colonel Fitzroy was not Lady
Hertford's brother, but her brother's son.-C.

(415) William Fitzherbert, Esq. member for Derby: a lord of
trade.-C.

(416) the rumour mentioned in the text was unfounded, Sir Joseph
continued at the Hague till 1783.-C.

(417) Archbishop Secker. The Grounds for this strange story
(which Walpole was fond of repeating) was, that the Archbishop
had, in early youth, been intended for the medical profession,
and had attended some hospitals.-C.

(418) Mr. West married, in February 1764, Lady Mary Grey,
daughter of the Earl of Stamford: he died without issue, in
1776.-E.

(419) "The Dupe," by Mrs. Sheridan, mother of Richard Brinsley
Sheridan. The Biographia Dramatica says it was condemned, "on
account of a few passages, which the audience thought two
indelicate."-E.

Letter 186 To The Earl Of Hertford.
Arlington Street, Dec. 29, 1763. (page 263)

You are sensible, my dear lord, that any amusement from my
letters must depend upon times and seasons. We are a very absurd
nation (though the French are so good at present as to think us a
very wise one, only because they themselves, are now a very weak
one); but then that absurdity depends upon the almanac.
Posterity, who will know nothing of our intervals, wilt conclude
that this age was a succession of events. I could tell them that
we know as well when an event, as when Easter will happen. Do
but recollect these last ten years. The beginning of October,
one is certain that every body will be at Newmarket, and the Duke
of Cumberland will lose', and Shafto(420) win, two or three
thousand pounds. After that, while people are preparing to come
to town for the winter, the ministry is suddenly changed, and all
the world comes to learn how it happened, a fortnight sooner than
they intended; and fully persuaded that the new arrangement
cannot last a month. The Parliament opens; every body is bribed;
and the new establishment is perceived to be composed of adamant.
November passes, with two or three self-murders, and a new play.
Christmas arrives; every body goes out of town; and a riot
happens in one of the theatres. The Parliament meets again;
taxes are warmly opposed; and some citizen makes a fortune by a
subscription.(421) The opposition languishes; balls and
assemblies begin; some master and miss begin to get together, are
talked of, and give occasion to forty more matches being
invented; an unexpected debate starts up at the end of the
session, that makes more noise than any thing that was designed
to make a noise, and subsides again in a new peerage or two.
Ranelagh opens and Vauxhall; one produces scandal, and t'other a
drunken quarrel. People separate, some to Tunbridge, and some to
all the horseraces in England; and so the year comes again to
October. I dare to prophesy, that if you keep this letter, YOU
Will find that my future correspondence will be but an
illustration of this text; at least, it is an excuse for my
having very little to tell you at present, and was the reason of
My not writing to you last week.

Before the Parliament adjourned, there was nothing but a trifling
debate in an empty House, occasioned by a motion from the
ministry, to order another physician and surgeon to attend
Wilkes; it was carried by about seventy to thirty, and was only
memorable by producing Mr. Charles Townshend, who having sat
silent through the question of privilege, found himself
interested in the defence of Dr. Brocklesby!(422) Charles
ridiculed Lord North extremely, and had warm words with George
Grenville. I do not look upon this as productive of
consequential speaking for the opposition; on the contrary, I
should expect him sooner in place, if the ministry could be fools
enough to restore weight to him and could be ignorant that he can
never hurt them so much as by being with them. Wilkes refused to
see Heberden and Hawkins, whom the House commissioned to visit
him; and to laugh at us more, sent for two Scotchmen, Duncan and
Middleton. Well! but since that, he is gone off himself:
however, as I (lid in D'Eon's case, I can now only ask news of
him from you, and not tell you any; for You have got him. I do
not believe you will invite him, and make so much of him, as
the Duke of Bedford did. Both sides pretend joy at his being
gone; and for once I can believe both. You will be diverted, as
I was, at the cordial esteem the ministers have for one another;
Lord Waldegrave(423) told my niece, this morning, that he had
offered a shilling, to receive an hundred pounds when-@Sandwich
shall lose his head! What a good opinion they have of one
another! apropos to losing heads, is Lally beheaded?

The East India Company have come to an unanimous resolution of
not paying Lord Clive the three hundred thousand pounds, which
the ministry had promised him in lieu of his nabobical annuity.
Just after the bargain was made, his old rustic of a father was
at the King's lev`ee; the King asked where his son was; he
replied, "Sire, he is coming to town, and their your Majesty will
have another vote." If you like these franknesses, I can tell
you another. The Chancellor(424) is chosen a governor of St.
Bartholomew's Hospital; a smart gentleman, who was sent with the
staff, carried it in the evening, when the Chancellor happened to
be drunk. "Well, Mr. Bartlemy," said his lordship, snuffling,
"what have you to say?" The man, who had prepared a formal
harangue, was transported to have so fair opportunity given him
of uttering it, and with much dapper gesticulation congratulated
his lordship on his health, and the nation on enjoying such great
abilities. The Chancellor stopped him short, crying, "By God, it
is a lie! I have neither health nor abilities my bad health has
destroyed my abilities." The late Chancellor(425) is much
better.

The last time the King was at Drury-lane, the play given out for
the next night was "All in the Wrong:" the Galleries clapped, and
then cried out. "Let us be all in the right! Wilkes and Liberty!"
When the King comes to a theatre, or goes out, or goes to the
House, there is not a single applause; to the Queen there is a
little: in short, Louis le bien-aim`e is not French at present
for King George.

The town, you may be sure, is very empty; the greatest party is
at Woburn, whither the Comte de Guerchy and the Duc de Pecquigny
are going. I have been three days at Strawberry, and had George
Selwyn, Williams, and Lord Ashburnham;(426) but the weather was
intolerably bad. We have scarce had a moment's drought since you
went, no more than for so many months before. The towns and the
roads are beyond measure dirty, and every thing else under water.
I was not well neither, nor am yet, with pains in my stomach:
however, if I ever used one, I could afford to pay a physician.
T'other day, coming from my Lady Townshend's, it came into my
head to stop at one of the lottery offices, to inquire after a
single ticket I had, expecting to find it a blank, but it was
five hundred pounds--Thank you! I know you wish me joy. It will
buy twenty pretty things when I come to Paris.

I read last night, your new French play, Le Comte de Warwick(427)
which we hear has succeeded much. I must say, it does but
confirm the cheap idea I have of you French: not to mention the
preposterous perversion of history in so known a story, the
Queen's ridiculous preference of old Warwick to a young King; the
omission of the only thing she ever said or did in her whole life
worth recording, which was thinking herself too low for his wife,
and too high for his mistress;(428) the romantic honour bestowed
on two such savages as Edward and Warwick: besides these, and
forty such glaring absurdities, there is but one scene that has
any merit, that between Edward and Warwick in the third act.
Indeed, indeed, I don't honour the modern French: it is making
your son but a slender compliment, with his knowledge, for them
to say it is extraordinary. The best proof I think they give of
their taste, is liking you all three. I rejoice that your little
boy is recovered. Your brother has been at Park-place this week,
and stays a week longer: his hill is too high to be drowned.

Thank you for your kindness to Mr. Selwyn: if he had too much
impatience, I am sure it proceeded only from his great esteem for
you.

I will endeavour to learn what you desire; and will answer, in
another letter, that and some other passages in your last. Dr.
Hunter is very good, and calls on me sometimes. You may guess
whether we talk you over or not. Adieu!

P. S. There has not been a death, but Sir William Maynard's, who
is come to life again: or a marriage, but Admiral Knollys's who
has married his divorced wife again.

(420) Robert Shafto, Esq. of Whitworth, member of Durham, well
known on the turf.-C.

(421) To a loan.-C.

(422) Dr. Richard Brocklesby, an eminent physician. He had been
examined before the House of Commons, as to Mr. Wilkes's
incapacity to attend in his place. His Whig politics, which
probably induced Mr. Wilkes to sen@ for him, induced the majority
of the House to distrust his report, and to order two other
medical men to visit the patient. This proceeding implied a
doubt of Dr. Brocklesby's veracity, which certainly called for,@
the interference of Mr. Charles Townshend, who was a private as
well as a political friend of the doctor's. Dr. Brocklesby,
besides being one of the first physicians of his time, was a man
of literature and taste, and did not confine his society nor his
beneficence to those who agreed with him in politics. He was the
friend and physician of Dr. Johnson, and when, towards the close
of this great man's life, it was supposed that his circumstances
were not quite easy, Dr. Brocklesby generously pressed him to
accept an annuity of one hundred pounds, and he attended him to
his death with unremitted affection and care.-C.

(423) John, third Earl of Waldegrave, a general in the army: in
1770 master of the horse to the Queen.-E.

(424) Lord Henley; afterwards Earl of Northington.

(425) Lord Hardwicke.

(426) John, second Earl of Ashburnham; one of the lords of the
bedchamber, and keeper of the parks.-E.

(427) By La Harpe. This play, written when the author was only
twenty-three years old, raised him into great celebrity; and is,
in the opinion of the French critics, his first work in merit as
well as date.-C.

(428) This phrase has been also attributed to Mademoiselle de
Montmorency, afterwards Princess de Cond`e, in reply to the
solicitations of Henry IV.; and is told also of Mademoiselle de
Rohan, afterwards Duchess of Deux Ponts.-C.

Letter 187 To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, Jan. 11, 1764. (page 266)

It is an age, I own, since I wrote to you; but except politics,
what was there to send you? and for politics, the present are too
contemptible to be recorded by any body but journalists,
gazetteers, and such historians! The ordinary of Newgate, or Mr.
* * * * who write for their monthly half-crown, and who are
indifferent whether Lord Bute, Lord Melcombe, or Maclean is their
hero, may swear they find diamonds on dunghills; but you will
excuse me, if I let our correspondence lie dormant rather than
deal in such trash. I am forced to send Lord Hertford and Sir
Horace Mann such garbage, because they are out of England, and
the sea softens and makes palatable any potion, as it does
claret; but unless I can divert you, I had rather wait till we
can laugh together; the best employment for friends, who do not
mean to pick one another's pocket, nor make a property of
either's frankness. Instead of politics, therefore, I shall
amuse you to-day with a fairy tale.

I was desired to be at my Lady Suffolk's on New-year's morn,
where I found Lady Temple and others. On the toilet Miss Hotham
spied a small round box. She seized it with all the eagerness
and curiosity of eleven years. In it was wrapped up a
heart-diamond ring and a paper in which, in a hand as small as
Buckinger's, who used to write the Lord's Prayer in the compass
of a silver penny, were the following lines:--

Sent by a sylph, unheard, unseen
A new-year's gift from Mab our queen:
But tell it not, for if you do,
You will be pinch'd all black and blue.
Consider well, what a disgrace,
To show abroad your mottled face
Then seal your lips, put on the ring,
And sometimes think of Ob., the king.

You will easily guess that Lady Temple(429) was the poetess, and
that we were delighted with the genteelness of the thought and
execution. The child, you may imagine, was less transported with
the poetry than the present. Her attention, however, was hurried
backwards and forwards from the ring to a new coat, that she had
been trying on when sent for down; impatient to revisit her coat,
and to show the ring to her maid, she whisked up stairs; when she
came down again, she found a letter sealed, and lying on the
floor--new exclamations! Lady Suffolk bade her open it: here it
is:--

Your tongue, too nimble for your sense,
Is guilty of a high offence;
Hath introduced unkind debate,
And topsy-turvy turned our state.
In gallantry I sent the ring,
The token of a lovesick king:
Under fair Mab's auspicious name
>From me the trifling present came.
You blabb'd the news in Suffolk's ear;
The tattling zephyrs brought it here;
As Mab was indolently laid
Under a poppy's spreading shade.
The jealous queen started in rage;
She kick'd her crown and beat her page:
"Bring me my magic wand," she cries;
"Under that primrose there it lies;
I'll change the silly, saucy chit,
Into a flea, a louse, a nit,
A worm, a grasshopper, a rat,
An owl, a monkey, hedge-hog, bat.
Ixion once a cloud embraced,
By Jove and jealousy well placed;
What sport to see proud Oberon stare,
And flirt it with a pet-en Pair!"
Then thrice she stamped the trembling ground,
And thrice she waved her wand around;
When I endowed with greater skill,
And less inclined to do you ill,
Mutter'd some words, withheld her arm
And kindly stoppld the unfinish'd charm
But though not changed to owl or bat,
Or something more indelicate;
Yet, as your tongue has run too fast,
Your boasted beauty must not last,
No more shall frolic Cupid lie
In ambuscade in either eye,
>From thence to aim his keenest dart
To captivate each youthful heart:
No more shall envious misses pine
At charms now flown, that once were thine:
No more, since you so ill behave,
Shall injured Oberon be your slave.