Books: The Letters of Horace Walpole Volume 3

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My Lady Ailesbury is abominable: she settled a party to come
hither, and Put it off a month; and now she has been here and
seen my cabinet, she ought to tell you what good reason I had not
to stir. If she has not told you that it is the finest, the
prettiest, the newest and the oldest thing in the world, I will
not go to Park-place on the 20th, as I have promised. Oh! but
tremble you may for me, though you will not for yourself--all my
glories were on the point of vanishing last night in a flame!
The chimney of the new gallery, which chimney is full of
deal-boards, and which gallery is full of shavings was on fire at
eight o'clock. Harry had quarrelled with the other servants, and
would not sit in the
kitchen; and to keep up his anger, had lighted a vast fire in the
servants' hall, which is under the gallery. The chimney took
fire; and if Margaret had not smelt it with the first nose that
ever a servant had, a quarter of an hour had set us in a blaze.
I hope you are frightened out of your senses for me: if you are
not, I will never live in a panic for three or four years for you
again.

I have had Lord March and the Rena(239) here for One night, which
does not raise my reputation in the neighbourhood, and may usher
me again for a Scotchman into the North Briton.(240) I have had
too a letter from a German that I never saw, who tells me, that,
hearing by chance how well I am with my Lord Bute, he desires me
to get him a place. The North Briton first recommended me for an
employment, and has now given me interest -.it the backstairs.
It is a notion, that whatever is said of one, has generally some
kind of foundation: surely I am a contradiction to this maxim!
yet, was I of consequence enough to be remembered, perhaps
posterity would believe that I was a flatterer! Good night! Yours
ever.

(238) "The laurel was not yet for triumphs born,
But every green, alike by Phoebus worn,
Did, with promiscuous grace, his flowing locks adorn." Garth.-E.

(239) A fashionable courtesan.

(240) The favourable opinion given by Mr. Walpole of the
abilities of the Scotch in the Royal and Noble Authors, first
drew upon him the notice of the North Briton. ("The Scotch are
the most accomplished nation in Europe; the nation to which, if
any one country is endowed with a superior partition of sense, I
should be inclined to give the preference in that particular."]

Letter 135 To George Montagu, Esq.
Strawberry Hill, Sept. 24, 1762. (page 192)

I was disappointed at not seeing you, as you had given me hopes,
but shall he glad to meet the General, as I think I shall, for I
go to town on Monday to restore the furniture of my house, which
has been painted; and to stop the gaps as well as I can, which I
have made by bringing away every thing hither; but as long as
there are auctions, and I have money or hoards, those wounds soon
close.

I can tell you nothing of your dame Montagu and her arms; but I
dare to swear Mr. Chute can. I did not doubt but you would
approve Mr. Bateman's, since it has changed its religion; I
converted it from Chinese to Gothic. His cloister of founders,
which by the way is Mr. Bentley's, is delightful; I envy him his
old chairs, and the tomb of Bishop Caducanus; but I do not agree
with you in preferring the Duke's to Stowe. The first is in a
greater style, I grant, but one always perceives the mesalliance,
the blood of Bagshot-heath will never let it be green, If Stowe
had but half so many buildings as it has, there would be too
many; but that profusion that glut enriches, and makes it look
like a fine landscape of Albano; one figures oneself in Tempe or
Daphne. I never saw St. Leonard's-hill; would you spoke
seriously of buying it! one could stretch out the arm from one's
postchaise, and reach you when one would.

I am here all in ignorance and rain, and have seen nobody these
two days since I returned from Park-place. I do not know whether
the mob hissed my Lord Bute at his installation,(241) as they
intended, or whether my lord Talbot drubbed them for it. I know
nothing of the peace, nor of the Havannah; but I could tell you
much of old English engravers, whose lives occupy me at present.
On Sunday I am to dine with your prime minister Hamilton; for
though I do not seek the world, and am best pleased when quiet
here, I do not refuse its invitations, whet) it does not press
one to pass above a few hours with it. I have no quarrel to it,
when it comes not to me, nor asks me to lie from home. That
favour is only granted to the elect, to Greatworth, and a very
few more spots. Adieu!

(241) The ceremony of the installation of
Prince William and Lord Bute, as knights of the garter, took
place at Windsor on the 22d of September.-E.

Letter 136 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Strawberry Hill, Sept. 28, 1762. (page 193)

To my sorrow and your wicked joy, it is a doubt whether Monsieur
de Nivernois will shut the temple of Janus. We do not believe
him quite so much in earnest as the dove(242) we have sent, who
has summoned his turtle to Paris. She sets out the day after
to-morrow, escorted, to add gravity to the embassy, by George
Selwyn. The stocks don't mind this journey of a rush, but draw
in their horns every day. We can learn nothing of the Havannah,
though the axis of which the whole treaty turns. We believe, for
we have never seen them, that the last letters thence brought
accounts of great loss, especially by the sickness. Colonel
Burgoyne(243) has given a little fillip to the Spaniards, and
shown them, that though they can take Portugal from the
Portuguese, it will not be entirely so easy to wrest it from the
English. Lord Pulteney,(244) and my nephew,(245) Lady
Waldegrave's brother, distinguished themselves. I hope your
hereditary Prince is recovering of the wounds in his loins; for
they say he is to marry Princess Augusta.

Lady Ailesbury has told you, to be sure, that I have been at Park
place. Every thing there is in beauty; and, I should think,
pleasanter than a campaign in Germany. Your Countess is
handsomer than Fame; your daughter improving every day; your
plantations more thriving than the poor woods about Marburg and
Cassel. Chinese pheasants swarm there. For Lady Cecilia
Johnston, I assure you, she sits close upon her egg, and it will
not be her fault if she does not hatch a hero. We missed all the
glories of the installation, and all the faults, and all the
frowning faces there. Not a knight was absent but the lame and
the deaf.

Your brother, Lady Hertford, and Lord Beauchamp, are gone from
Windsor into Suffolk. Henry,(246) who has the genuine
indifference of a Harry Conway, would not stir from Oxford for
those pageants. Lord Beauchamp showed me a couple of his
letters, which have more natural humour and cleverness than is
conceivable. They have the ease and drollery of a man of parts
who has lived long in the world--and he is scarce seventeen!

I am going to Lord Waldegrave's for a few days, and, when your
Countess returns from Goodwood, am to meet her at Churchill's.
Lord Strafford, who has been terribly alarmed about my lady,
mentions, with great pleasure, the letters he receives from you.
His neighbour and cousin, Lord Rockingham, I hear, is one of the
warmest declaimers at Arthur's against the present system. Abuse
continues in much plenty, but I have seen none that I thought had
wit enough to bear the sea. Good night. There are satiric
prints enough to tapestry Westminster-hall.

Stay a moment: I recollect telling you a lie in my last, which,
though of no consequence, I must correct. The right reverend
midwife, Thomas Secker, archbishop, did christen the babe, and
not the Bishop of London, as I had been told by matron authority.
Apropos to babes: have you read Rousseau on Education? I almost
got through a volume at Park-place, though impatiently; it has
mor(-tautology than any of his works, and less eloquence. Sure
he has writ more sense and more nonsense than ever any man did of
both! All I have yet learned from this work is, that one should
have a tutor for one's son to teach him to have no ideas, in
order that he may begin to learn his alphabet as he loses his
maidenhead.

Thursday noon, 30th.

lo Havannah! Lo Albemarle! I had sealed my letter, and given it
to Harry for the post, when my Lady Suffolk sent me a short note
from Charles Townshend, to say the Havannah surrendered on the
12th of August, and that we have taken twelve ships of the line
in the harbour. The news came late last night. I do not know a
particular more. God grant no more blood be shed! I have hopes
again of the peace. My dearest Harry, now we have preserved you
to the last moment, do take care of yourself. When one has a
whole war to wade through, it is not worth while to be careful in
any one battle; but it is silly to fling one's self away in the
last. Your character is established; Prince Ferdinand's letters
are full of encomiums on you; but what will weigh more with you,
save yourself for another war, which I doubt you will live to
see, and in which you may be superior commander, and have space
to display your talents. A second in service is never
remembered, whether the honour of the victory be owing to him -.
or be killed. Turenne would have a very short paragraph, if the
Prince of Cond`e had been general when he fell. Adieu!

(242) The Duke of Bedford, then ambassador at Paris.

(243) Colonel, afterwards General Burgoyne, with the Compte de
Lippe, commanded the British troops sent to the relief of
Portugal.

(244) Only son of William Pulteney, Earl of Bath. He died before
his father.

(245) Edward, only son of sir Edward Walpole. He died in 1771.

(246) ,Henry Seymour Conway, second son of Francis, Earl and
afterwards Marquis of Hertford.

Letter 137 To The Rev. Mr. Cole.
Strawberry Hill, Sept. 30, 1762. (page 195)

It gives me great satisfaction that Strawberry Hill pleased you
enough to make it a second visit. I could name the time
instantly, but you threaten me with coming so loaded with
presents, that it will look mercenary, not friendly, to accept
your visit. If your chaise is empty, to be sure I shall rejoice
to hear it at my gate about the 22d of this next month: if it is
crammed, though I have built a convent, I have not SO much of the
monk in me as not to blush-nor can content myself with praying to
our Lady of Strawberries to reward you.

I am greatly obliged to you for the accounts from Gothurst. What
treasures there are still in private seats, if one knew where to
hunt them! The emblematic picture of Lady Digby is like that at
Windsor, and the fine small one at Mr. Skinner's. I should be
curious to see the portrait of Sir Kenelm's father; was not he
the remarkable Everard Digby?(247) How singular too is the
picture of young Joseph and Madam Potiphar! His Mujora--one has
heard of Josephs that did not find the lady's purse any
hinderance to Majora.

You are exceedingly obliging, in offering to make an index to my
prints, Sir; but that would be a sad way of entertaining you. I
am antiquary and virtuoso enough myself not to dislike such
employment, but could never think it charming enough to trouble
any body else with. Whenever you do me the favour of coming
hither, you will find yourself entirely at liberty to choose your
own amusements--if you choose a bad one, and in truth there is
not very good, you must blame yourself, while you know I hope
that it would be my wish that you did not repent your favours to,
Sir, etc.

(247) Executed in 1605, as a conspirator in the Gunpowder
Plot.-E.

Letter 138 To The Right Hon. Lady Hervey.
Strawberry Hill, Oct. 1, 1762. (page 196)

Madam,
I hope you are as free from any complaint, as I am sure you are
full of joy. Nobody partakes more of your satisfaction for Mr.
Hervey's(248) safe return; and now he is safe, I trust you enjoy
his glory: for this is a wicked age; you are one of those
un-Lacedaemonian mothers, that are not content unless your
children come off with all their limbs. A Spartan countess would
not have had the confidence of my Lady Albemarle to appear in the
drawing-room without at least one of her sons being knocked on
the head.(249) However, pray, Madam, make my compliments to her;
one must conform to the times, and congratulate people for being
happy, if they like it. I know one matron, however, with whom I
may condole; who, I dare swear, is miserable that she has not one
of her acquaintance in affliction, and to whose door she might
drive with all her sympathizing greyhounds to inquire after her,
and then to Hawkins's, and then to Graham's, and then cry over a
ball of rags that she is picking, and be sorry for poor Mrs.
Such-a-one, who has lost an only son!

When your ladyship has hung up all your trophies, I will come and
make you a visit. There is another ingredient I hope not quite
disagreeable that Mr. Hervey has brought with him,
un-Lacedaemonian too, but admitted among the other vices of our
system. If besides glory and riches they have brought us peace,
I will make a bonfire myself, though it should be in the
mayoralty of that virtuous citizen Mr. Beckford. Adieu, Madam!

(248) General William Hervey, youngest son of Lady Hervey; who
had just returned from the Havannah.

(249) Lady Anne Lenox, Countess of Albemarle, had three sons
present at the taking of the Havannah. The eldest, Lord
Albemarle, commanded the land forces; the second, afterwards Lord
Keppel, was then captain of a man of war; and the third was
colonel of a regiment.

Letter 139 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Arlington Street, Oct. 4, 1762. (page 196)

I am concerned to hear you have been so much out of order, but
should rejoice your sole command(250) disappointed you, if this
late cannonading business(251) did not destroy all my little
prospects. Can one believe the French negotiators are sincere,
when their marshals are so false? What vexes me more is to hear
you seriously tell your brother that you are always unlucky, and
lose all opportunities of fighting. How can you be such a child?
You cannot, like a German, love fighting for its own sake. No:
you think of the mob of London, who, if you had taken Peru, would
forget you the first lord mayor's day, or for the first hyena
that comes to town. How can one build on virtue and on fame too?
When do they ever go together? In my passion, I could almost wish
you were as worthless and as great as the King of Prussia! If
conscience is a punishment, is not it a reward too? Go to that
silent tribunal, and be satisfied with its sentence.

I have nothing new to tell you. The Havannah is more likely to
break off the peace than to advance it.(252) We are not in a
humour to give up the world; anza, are much more disposed to
conquer the rest of it. We shall have some commanding here, I
believe, if we sign the peace. Mr. Pitt, from the bosom of his
retreat, has made Beckford mayor. The Duke of Newcastle, if not
taken in again, will probably end his life as he began it-at the
head of a mob. Personalities and abuse, public and private,
increase to the most outrageous degree, and yet the town is at
the emptiest. You may guess what will be the case in a month. I
do not see at all into the storm: I do not mean that there will
not be a great majority to vote any thing; but there are times
when even majorities cannot do all they are ready to do. Lord
Bute has certainly great luck, which is something in politics,
whatever it is in logic: but whether peace or war, I would not
give him much for the place he will have this day twelvemonth.
Adieu! The watchman goes past one in the morning; and as I have
nothing better than reflections and conjectures to send YOU, I
may as well go to bed.

(250) During Lord Granby's absence from the army in Flanders, the
command in chief had devolved on Mr. Conway.

(251) The affair of Bucker-Muhl.

(252) On this subject, Sir Joseph Yorke, in a letter to Mr.
Michell of the 9th of October, Observes, "All the world is struck
with the noble capture of the Havannah, which fell into our hands
on the Prince of Wales's birthday, as a just punishment upon the
Spaniards for their unjust quarrel with us, and for the supposed
difficulties they have raised in the negotiation for peace. By
what I hear from Paris, my old acquaintance Grimaldi is the cause
of the delay in signing the preliminaries, insisting upon points
neither France nor England would ever consent to grant, such as
the liberty of fishing at Newfoundland; a point we should not
dare to yield, as Mr. Pitt told them, though they were masters of
the Tower of London. What effect the taking of the Havannah will
have is uncertain; for the Spaniards have nothing to give us in
return."-E.

Letter 140 To George Montagu, Esq.
Strawberry Hill, Oct 14, 1762. (page 197)

You will not make your fortune in the admiralty at least; your
King's cousin is to cross over and figure in with George
Grenville; the latter takes the admiralty, Lord Halifax the
seals--still, I believe, reserving Ireland for pocket-money; at
least no new viceroy is named. mr. Fox undertakes the House of
Commons--and the peace--and the war--for if we have the first, we
may be pretty sure of the second.(253)

you see Lord Bute totters; reduced to shift hands so often, it
does not look like much stability. The campaign at Westminster
will be warm. When Mr. Pitt can have such a mouthful as Lord
Bute, Mr. Fox, and the peace, I do not think three thousand
pounds a year will stop it. Well, I shall go into my old corner
under the window, and laugh I had rather sit by my fire here; but
if there are to be bull-feasts, one would go and see them, when
one has a convenient box for nothing, and is very indifferent
about the cavalier combatants. Adieu!

(253) In a letter to Mr. Pitt, of this day's date, Mr. Nuthall
gives the ex-minister the following account of these changes:-
-"Mr. Fox kissed hands yesterday, as one of the cabinet; Lord
Halifax, as secretary of state, and Mr. George Grenville, as
first lord of the admiralty. Mr. Fox's present state of health,
it was given out, would not permit him to take the seals.
Charles Townshend was early yesterday morning sent for by Lord
Bute, who opened to him this new system, and offered him the
secretaryship of the plantations and board of trade, which he not
only refused, but refused all connexion and intercourse whatever
with the new counsellor, and spoke out freely. He was afterwards
three times in with the King, to whom be was more explicit, and
said things that did not a little alarm." Chatham Correspondence,
vol. ii. p. 181.-E.

Letter 141 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Strawberry Hill, Oct. 29, 1762. (page 198)

You take my philosophy very kindly, as it was meant; but I
suppose you smile a little in your sleeve to hear me turn
moralist. Yet why should not I? Must every absurd young man
prove a foolish old one? Not that I intend, when the latter term
is quite arrived, to profess preaching; nor should, I believe,
have talked so gravely to you, if your situation had not made me
grave. Till the campaign is ended, I shall be in no humour to
smile. For the war, when it will be over, I have no idea. The
peace is a jack o' lanthorn that dances before one's eyes, is
never approached, and at best seems ready to lead some follies
into a woful quagmire.

As your brother was in town, and I had my intelligence from him,
I concluded you would have the same, and therefore did not tell
you of this last resolution, which has brought Mr. Fox again upon
the scene. I have been in town but once since; yet learned
enough to confirm the opinion I had conceived, that the building
totters, and that this last buttress will but push on its fall.
Besides the clamorous opposition already encamped, the world
talks of another, composed of names not so often found in a
mutiny. What think you of the great Duke,(254) and the little
Duke,(255) and the old Duke,(256) and the Derbyshire Duke,(257)
banded together against the favourite?(258) If so, it proves the
Court, as the late Lord G * * * wrote to the mayor of Litchfield,
will have a majority in every thing but numbers. However, my
letter is a week old before I write it: things may have changed
since last Tuesday. Then the prospect was des plus gloomy.
Portugal at the eve of being conquered--Spain preferring a diadem
to the mural crown of the Havannah--a squadron taking horse for
Naples, to see whether King Carlos has any more private bowels
than public, whether he is a better father than brother. If what
I heard yesterday be true, that the Parliament is to be put off
till the 24th, it does not look as if they were ready in the
green-room, and despised catcalls.

You bid me send you the flower of brimstone, the best things
published in this season of outrage. I should not have waited
for orders, if I had met with the least tolerable morsel. But
this opposition ran stark mad at once, cursed, swore, called
names, and has not been one minute cool enough to have a grain of
wit. Their prints are gross, their papers scurrilous: indeed the
authors abuse one another more than any body else. I have not
seen a single ballad or epigram. They are as seriously dull as
if the controversy was religious. I do not take in a paper of
either side; and being very indifferent, the only way of being
impartial, they shall not make me pay till they make me laugh. I
am here quite' alone, and shall stay a fortnight longer, unless
the Parliament prorogued lengthens my holidays. I do not pretend
to be so indifferent, to have so little curiosity, as not to go
and see the Duke of Newcastle frightened for his country--the
only thing that never yet gave him a panic. Then I am still such
a schoolboy, that though I could guess half their orations, and
know all their meaning, I must go and hear Caesar and Pompey
scold in the Temple of Concord. As this age is to make such a
figure hereafter, how the Gronoviuses and Warburtons would
despise a senator that deserted the forum when the masters of the
world harangued! For, as this age is to be historic, so of
course it will be a standard of virtue too; and we, like our
wicked predecessors the Romans, shall be quoted, till our very
ghosts blush, as models of patriotism and magnanimity. What
lectures will be read to poor children on this era! Europe taught
to tremble, the great King humbled, the treasures of Peru
diverted into the Thames, Asia subdued by the gigantic Clive! for
in that age men were near seven feet high; France suing for peace
at the gates of Buckingham-house, the steady wisdom of the Duke
of Bedford drawing a circle round the Gallic monarch, and
forbidding him to pass it till he had signed the cession of
America; Pitt more eloquent than Demosthenes, and trampling on
proffered pensions like-I don't know who; Lord Temple sacrificing
a brother to the love of his country; Wilkes as spotless as
Sallust, and the Flamen Churchill(259) knocking down the foes of
Britain with statues of the gods!-Oh! I am out of breath with
eloquence and prophecy, and truth and lies; my narrow chest was
not formed to hold inspiration! I must return to piddling with
my painters: those lofty subjects are too much for me. Good
night!

P. S. I forgot to tell -you that Gideon, who is dead worth more
than the whole land of canaan, has left the reversion of all his
milk and honey, after his son and daughter and their children, to
the Duke of Devonshire, without insisting on his taking the name,
or even being circumcised. Lord Albemarle is expected home in
December. My nephew Keppel(260) is Bishop of Exeter, not of the
Havannah, as you may imagine, for his mitre was promised the day
before the news came.

(254) Of Cumberland.

(255) Of Bedford.

(256) Of Newcastle.

(257) Of Devonshire.

(258) The Earl of Bute.

(259) Charles Churchill the poet.

(260) Frederick Keppel, youngest brother of George Earl of
Albemarle, who commanded at taking the Havannah, had married
Laura, eldest daughter of Sir Edward Walpole.

Letter 142 To The Right Hon. Lady Hervey.
Strawberry Hill, Oct. 31, 1762. (page 200)

Madam,
It is too late, I fear, to attempt acknowledging the honour
Madame de Chabot,(261) does me; and yet, if she is not gone, I
would fain not appear ungrateful. I do not know where she lives,
or I would not take the liberty again of making your ladyship my
penny-post. If she is gone, you will throw my note into the
fire.

Pray, Madam, blow your nose with a piece of flannel-not that I
believe it will do you the least good--but, as all wise folks
think it becomes them to recommend nursing and flannelling the
gout, imitate them; and I don't know any other way of lapping it
up, when it appears in the person of a running cold. I will make
it a visit on Tuesday next, and shall hope to find it tolerably
vented.

P. S. You must tell me all the news when I arrive, for I know
nothing of what is passing. I have only seen in the papers, that
the cock and hen doves(262) that went to Paris not having been
able to make peace, there is a third dove(263) just flown thither
to help them.