Books: The Letters of Horace Walpole Volume 3

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I have sent YOU my books by a messenger; Lord Barrington was so
good as to charge himself with them. They barely saved their
distance; a week later, and no soul could have read a line in
them, unless I had changed the title-page, and called them the
loves of the Earl of Pembroke and Miss Hunter.

I am sorry Lady Kingsland is so rich. However, if the Papists
should be likely to rise, pray disarm her of the enamel, and
commit it to safe custody in the round tower at Strawberry. Good
night! mine is a life of letter-writing; I pray for a peace that
I may sheath my Pen.

(218) Henry Herbert, tenth Earl of Pembroke, married, 13th March
1756, Lady Elizabeth Spencer, second daughter of Charles, third
Duke of Marlborough, by whom he had a son, George, eleventh Earl,
born 19th September 1759: and some years afterwards, when he ran
away with her, which he actually did, after they had lived for
some time separated, a daughter, born in 1773, who died in 1784,
unmarried.

Letter 116 To Dr. Ducarel.(219)
Feb. 24, 1762. (PAGE 174)

Sir, I am glad my books have at all amused you, and am much
obliged to you for your notes and communications. Your thought
of an English Montfaucon accords perfectly with a design I have
long had of attempting something of that kind, in which too I
have been lately encouraged; and therefore I will beg you at your
leisure, as they shall occur, to make me little notes of customs,
fashions, and portraits, relating to our history and manners.
Your work on vicarages, I am persuaded, will be very useful, as
every thing you undertake is, and curious.--After the medals I
lent Mr. Perry, I have a little reason to take it ill, that he
has entirely neglected me; he has published a number, and sent it
to several persons,-and never to me.(220) I wanted to see him
too, because I know of two very curious medals, which I could
borrow for him. He does not deserve it at my hands, but I will
not defraud the public of any thing valuable; and therefore, if
he will call on me any morning, but a Sunday or Monday, between
eleven and twelve, I will speak to him of them.--With regard to
one or two of your remarks, I have not said that real lions were
originally leopards. I have said that lions in arms, that is,
painted lions, were leopards; and it is fact, and no inaccuracy.
Paint a leopard yellow, and it becomes a lion.--YOU say, colours
rightly prepared do not grow black. The art would be much
obliged for such a preparation. I have not said that oil-colours
would not endure with a glass; on the contrary, I believe they
would last the longer.

I am much amazed at Vertue's blunder about my marriage of Henry
VII.; and afterwards, he said, "Sykes, knowing how to give names
to pictures to make them sell," called this the marriage of Henry
VII.; and afterwards, he said, Sykes had the figures in an old
picture of a church. He must have known little Indeed, Sir, if
he had not known how to name a picture that he had painted on
purpose that he might call it so! That Vertue, on the strictest
examination, could not be convinced that the man was Henry VII.,
not being like any of his pictures. Unluckily, he is extremely
like the shilling, which is much more authentic than any picture
of Henry VII. But here Sykes seems to have been extremely
deficient in his tricks. Did he order the figure to be painted
like Henry VII., and yet could not get it painted like him, which
was the easiest part of the task? Yet how came he to get the
Queen painted like, whose representations are much scarcer than
those of her husband? and how came Sykes to have pomegranates
painted on her robe, only to puzzle the cause! It is not worth
adding, that I should much sooner believe the church was painted
to the figures, than the figures to the church. They are hard
and antique: the church in a better style, and at least more
fresh. If Vertue had made no better criticisms than these, I
would never have taken so much trouble with his MS. Adieu!

(219) Librarian at Lambeth Palace, and a well-known antiquary.
He died in 1785.

(220) A series of English Medals, by Francis Perry, 4to. with
thirteen plates.

Letter 117 To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, Feb. 25, 1762. (PAGE 175)

I sent you my gazette but two days ago; I now write to answer a
kind long letter I have received from you since.

I have heard of my brother's play several years ago; but I never
understood that it was completed, or more than a few detached
scenes. What is become of Mr. Bentley's play and Mr. Bentley's
epistle?

When I go to Strawberry, I will look for where Lord Cutts was
buried; I think I can find it. I am disposed to prefer the
younger picture of Madame Grammont by Lely; but I stumbled at the
price; twelve guineas for a copy in enamel is very dear. Mrs.
Vezey tells me, his originals cost sixteen, and are not so good
as his copies. I will certainly have none of his originals.
His, what is his name'! I would fain resist his copy; I would
more fain excuse myself for having it. I say to myself, it Would
be rude not to have it, now Lady Kingsland and Mr. Montagu have
had so much trouble--well--"I think I must have it," as my Lady
Wishfort says, "Why does not the fellow take me?" Do try if he
will not take ten; remember it is the younger picture: and, oh!
now you are remembering, don't forget all my prints and a book
bound in vellum. There is-a thin folio too I want, called
"Hibernica;"(221) it is a collection of curious papers, one a
translation by Carew Earl of Totness: I had forgot that you have
no books in Ireland; however, I must have this, and your pardon
for all the trouble I give you.

No news yet of the runaways: but all that comes out antecedent to
the escape, is more and more extraordinary and absurd. The day
of the elopement he had invited his wife's family and other folk
to dinner with her, but said he must himself dine at a tavern;
but he dined privately in his own dressing-room, put on a
sailor's habit, and black wig, that he had brought home with him
in a bundle, and threatened the servants he would murder them if
they mentioned it to his wife. He left a letter for her, which
the Duke 'of Marlborough was afraid to deliver to her, and
opened. It desired that she would not write to him, as it would
make him completely mad. He desires the King would preserve his
rank of major-general, as some time or other he may serve again.
Here is an indifferent epigram made on the occasion: I send it to
you, though I wonder any body could think it a subject to joke
upon.

As Pembroke a horseman by most is accounted,
'Tis not strange that his lordship a Hunter has mounted.

Adieu! yours ever.

(221) Hibernica; or, some Ancient Pieces relating to Ireland,"
published at Dublin in 1757, by Walter Harris.-E.

Letter 118 To The Countess Of Ailesbury.
Strawberry Hill, March 5, 1762. (PAGE 176)

Madam,
one of your slaves, a fine young officer, brought me two days ago
a very pretty medal from your ladyship. Amidst all your triumphs
you do not, I see, forget your English friends, and it makes me
extremely happy. He pleased me still more, by assuring me that
you return to England when the campaign opens. I can pay this
news by none so good as by telling you that we talk of nothing
but peace. We are equally ready to give law to the world, or
peace. MartiniCO has not made us intractable. We and the new
Czar are the best sort of people upon earth: I am sure, Madam,
you must adore him; he is ,,, to resign all his conquests, that
you and Mr. Conway may be settled again at Park-place. My Lord
Chesterfield, with the despondence of an old man and the wit of a
young one, thinks the French and Spaniards must make some attempt
upon these islands, and is frightened lest we should not be so
well prepared to repel invasions as to make them: he says, "What
will it avail us if we gain the whole world, and lose our own
soul!"

I am here alone, Madam, and know nothing to tell you. I came
from town on Saturday for the worst cold I ever had in my life,
and, what I care less to own even to myself, a cough. I hope
Lord Chesterfield will not speak more truth in what I have
quoted, than in his assertion, that one need not cough if one did
not please. It has pulled me extremely, and you may believe I do
not look very plump, when I am more emaciated that usual.
However, I have taken James's powder for four nights, and have
found great benefit from it; and if Miss Conway does not come
back with soixante et douze quartiers, and the hauteur of a
landgravine, I think I shall still be able to run down the
precipices at Park-place with her-This is to be understood,
supposing that we have any summer. Yesterday was the first
moment that did not feel like Thule: not a glimpse of spring or
green, except a miserable almond tree, half opening one bud, like
my Lord PowersCOurt'S eye.

It will be warmer, I hope, by the King's birthday, or the old
ladies will catch their deaths. There is a court dress to be
instituted--(to thin the drawing-rooms)--stiff-bodied gowns and
bare shoulders. What dreadful discoveries will be made both on
fat and lean! I recommend to you the idea of Mrs. Cavendish,
when half-stark; and I might fill the rest of my paper with such
images, but your imagination will supply them; and you shall
excuse me, though I leave this a short letter: but I wrote merely
to thank your ladyship for the medal, and, as you perceive, have
very little to say, besides that known and lasting truth, how
much I am Mr. Conway's and your ladyship's faithful humble
servant.

Letter 119 To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, March 9, 1762. (PAGE 177)

I am glad you have received my books safe, and are content with
them. I have little idea of Mr. Bentley's; though his
imagination is sufficiently Pindaric, nay obscure, his numbers
are not apt to be so tuneful as to excuse his flights. He should
always give his wit, both in verse and prose, to somebody else to
make up. If any of his things are printed at Dublin, let me have
them; I have no quarrel with his talents. Your cousin's
behaviour has been handsome, and so was his speech, which is
printed in our papers. Advice is arrived to-day, that our troops
have made good their landing at Martinico; I don't know any of
the incidents yet.

You ask me for an epitaph for Lord Cutts;(222) I scratched out
the following lines last night as I was going to bed; if they are
not good enough, pray don't take them: they were written in a
minute, and you are under no obligation to like them.

Late does the muse approach to Cutts's grave,
But ne'er the grateful muse forgets the brave;
He gave her subjects for the immortal lyre,
And sought in idle hours the tuneful choir;
Skilful to mount by either path to fame,
And dear to memory by a double name.
Yet if ill known amid the Aonian groves,
His shade a stranger and unnoticed roves,
The dauntless chief a nobler band may join:
They never die who conquer'd at the Boyne.

The last line intends to be popular in Ireland; but you must take
care to be certain that he was at the battle of the Boyne; I
conclude so; ind it should be specified the year, when you erect
the monument-The latter lines mean to own his having been but a
moderate poet, and to cover that mediocrity under his valour; all
which is true. Make the sculptor observe the steps.

I have not been at Strawberry above a month, nor ever was so long
absent - but the weather has been cruelly cold and disagreeable.
We have not had a single dry week since the beginning of
September; a great variety of weather, all bad. Adieu!

(222) John Lord Cutts, a soldier of most hardy bravery in King
William's wars. He died at Dublin in 1707. Swift's epigram on a
Salamander alluded to this lord, who was called by the Duke of
Marlborough the Salamander, on account of his always being in the
thickest of the fire. He published, in 1687, "Poetical
Exercises, written upon several Occasions."-E.

Letter 120 To The Rev. Henry Zouch.
Arlington Street, March 20, 1762. (PAGE 178)

I am glad you are pleased, Sir, with my "Anecdotes of Painting;"
but I doubt you praise me too much: it was an easy task when I
had the materials Collected. and I would not have the labours of
forty years, which was Vertue's case, depreciated in compliment
to the work of four months, which is almost my whole merit.
Style is become, in a manner, a mechanical affair,--and if to
much ancient lore our antiquaries would add a little modern
reading, to polish their language and correct their prejudices, I
do not see why books of antiquities should not be made as amusing
as writings on any other subject. If Tom Herne had lived in the
world, he might have writ an agreeable history of dancing; at
least, I am sure that many modern volumes are read for no reason
but for their being penned in the dialect of the age.

I am much beholden to you, dear Sir, for your remarks; they shall
have their due place whenever the work proceeds to a second
edition, for that the nature of it as a record will ensure to it.
A few of your notes demand a present answer: the Bishop of Imola
pronounced the nuptial benediction at the marriage of Henry VII.,
which made me suppose him the person represented.(223)

Burnet, who was more a judge of characters than statues, mentions
the resemblance between Tiberius and Charles II.; but, as far as
countenances went, there could not be a more ridiculous
prepossession; Charles had a long face, with very strong lines,
and a narrowish brow; Tiberius a very square face, and flat
forehead, with features rather delicate in proportion. I have
examined this imaginary likeness, and see no kind of foundation
for it. It is like Mr. Addison's travels, of which it was so
truly said, he might have composed them without stirring out of
England. There are a kind of naturalists who have sorted out the
qualities of the mind, and allotted particular turns of features
and complexions to them. It would be much easier to prove that
every form has been endowed with every vice. One has heard much
of the vigour of Burnet himself; yet I dare to say, he did not
think himself like to Charles II.

I am grieved, Sir, to hear that your eyes suffer; take care of
them; nothing can replace the satisfaction they afford: one
should hoard them, as the only friend that will not be tired of
one when one grows old, and when one should least choose to
depend on others for entertainment. I most sincerely wish you
happiness and health in that and every other instance.

(223) In the picture by Mabuse of the marriage of Henry VII.
Whatever was Mr. Zouch's correction (in which Mr. Walpole seems
to acquiesce), no alteration seem,- to have been made in the
passage about the Bishop of Imola. This curious picture is at
Strawberry Hill, and should be in the Royal Collection.-C.

Letter 121 To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, March 22, 1762. (PAGE 179)

You may fancy what you -will, but the eyes of all the world are
not fixed upon Ireland. Because you have a little virtue, and a
lord-lieutenant(224) that refuses four thousand pounds a-year,
and a chaplain(225) of a lord-lieutenant that declines a huge
bishopric, and a secretary(226) whose eloquence can convince a
nation of blunderers, you imagine that nothing is talked of but
the castle of Dublin. In the first place, virtue may sound its
own praises, but it never is praised; and in the next place,
there are other feats besides self-denials; and for eloquence, we
overflow with it. Why, the single eloquence of Mr. Pitt, like an
annihilated star, can shine many months after it has set. I tell
you it has conquered Martinico.(227) If you will not believe me,
read the Gazette; read Moncton's letter; there is more martial
spirit in it than in half Thucydides, and in all the grand Cyrus.
Do you think Demosthenes or Themistocles ever raised the Grecian
stocks two per cent. in four-and-twenty hours? I shall burn all
my Greek and Latin books; they are histories of little people.
The Romans never conquered the world, till they had conquered
three parts of it, and were three hundred years about it; we
subdue the globe in three campaigns; and a globe, let me tell
you, as big again as It was in their days. Perhaps you may think
me proud; but you don't know that I had some share in the
reduction of Martinico; the express was brought to my godson, Mr.
Horatio Gates; and I have a very good precedent for attributing
some of the glory to myself - I have by me a love-letter, written
during my father's administration, by a journeyman tailor to my
brother's second chambermaid; his offers Honourable; he proposed
matrimony, and to better his terms, informed her of his
pretensions to a place; they were founded on what he called,
"some services to the government." As the nymph could not read,
she carried the epistle to the housekeeper to be deciphered, by
which means it came into my hands. I inquired what were the
merits of Mr. Vice Crispin, was informed that he had made the
suit of clothes for a figure of Lord Marr, that was burned after
the rebellion. I hope now you don't hold me too presumptuous for
pluming myself on the reduction of Martinico. However, I shall
not aspire to a post, nor to marry my Lady Bute's Abigail. I
only trust my services to you as a friend, and do not mean under
your temperate administration to get the list of Irish pensions
loaded with my name, though I am godfather to Mr. Horatio Gates.

The Duchess of Grafton and the English have been miraculously
preserved at Rome by being at loo, instead of going to a great
concert, where the palace fell in, and killed ten persons and
wounded several others. I shall send orders to have an altar
dedicated in the Capitol.

Pammio O. M.
Capitolino
Annam Ducisam de Grafton
Merito Incolumem.

I tell you of it now, because I don't know whether it will be
worth while to write another letter on purpose. Lord Albemarle
takes up the victorious grenadiers at Martinico, and in six weeks
will conquer the Havannah.- Adieu!

(224) The Irish House of Commons having voted an address to the
King to increase the salary of the lord-lieutenant, the Earl of
Halifax declined having any augmentation.

(225) Dr. Crane, chaplain to the Earl of Halifax, had refused the
bishopric of Elphin.

(226) Single-speech Hamilton.

(227) Sir Richard Lyttelton, in a letter to Mr. Pitt, written
from Rome on the 14th of April, says, " I cannot forbear
congratulating you on the glorious conquest of Martinico, which,
whatever effect it may have on England, astonishes all Europe,
and fills every mouth with praise and commendation of the noble
perseverance and superior ability of the planner of this great
and decisive undertaking. His Holiness told Mr. Weld, that, were
not the information such as left no possibility of its being
doubted, the news of our success could not have been credited;
and that so great was the national glory and reputation all over
the world, that he esteemed it the highest honour to be born an
Englishman. If this, sir, be the end of your administration, I
shall only say finis coronet opus." Chatham Correspondence, vol.
ii. p. 173-E.

Letter 122 To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, April 29, 1762. (PAGE 180)

I am most absurdly glad to hear you are returned well and safe,
of which I have at this moment received your account from
Hankelow, where you talk of staying a week. However, not knowing
the exact day of your departure, I direct this to Greatworth,
that it may rather wait for you, than you for it, if it should go
into Cheshire and not find you there. As I should ever be sorry
to give you any pain, I hope I shall not be the first to tell you
of the loss of poor Lady Charlotte Johnstone,(228) who, after a
violent fever of less than a week, was brought to bed yesterday
morning of a dead child, and died herself at four in the
afternoon. I heartily condole with you, as I know your
tenderness for all your family, and the regard you have for
Colonel Johnstone. The time is wonderfully sickly; nothing but
sore throats, colds, and fevers. I got rid of one of the worst
of these disorders, attended with a violent cough, by only taking
seven grains of James's powder for six nights. It was the first
cough I ever had, and when coughs meet with so spare a body as
mine, they are not apt to be so easily conquered. Take great
care of yourself, and bring the fruits of your expedition in
perfection to Strawberry. I shall be happy to see you there
whenever you please. I have no immediate purpose of settling
there yet, as they are laying floors, which is very noisy, and as
it is uncertain when the Parliament will rise, but I would go
there at any time to meet you. The town will empty instantly
after the King's birthday; and consequently I shall then be less
broken in upon, which I know you do not like. If, therefore, it
suits you, any time you will name after the 5th of June will be
equally agreeable; but sooner if you like it better.

We have little news at present, except a profusion of new
peerages, but are likely I think to have much greater shortly.
The ministers disagree, and quarrel with as much alacrity as
ever; and the world expects a total rupture between Lord Bute and
the late King's servants. This comedy has been so often
represented, it scarce interests one, especially one who takes no
part, and who is determined to have nothing to do with the world,
but hearing and seeing the scenes it furnishes.

The new peers, I don't know their rank, scarce their titles, are
Lord Wentworth and Sir William Courtenay, Viscounts; Lord Egmont,
Lord Milton, Vernon of Sudbury, old Foxiane, Sir Edward Montagu,
Barons; and Lady Caroline Fox, a Baroness; the Duke of Newcastle
is created Lord Pelham, with an entail to Tommy Pelham; and Lord
Brudenel is called to the House of lords, as Lord Montagu. The
Duchess of Manchester was to have had the peerage alone, and
wanted the latter title: her sister, very impertinently, I think,
as being the younger, objected and wished her husband Marquis of
Monthermer. This difference has been adjusted, by making Sir
Edward Montagu Lord Beaulieu, and giving the title of the family
to Lord Brudenel. With pardon of your Cu-blood, I hold, that
Lord Cardigan makes a very trumpery figure by so meanly
relinquishing all Brudenelhood. Adieu! let me know soon when you
will keep your Strawberry tide.

P. S. Lord Anson is in a very bad way;(229) and Mr. Fox, I think,
in not a much better.

(228) Sister of the Earl of Halifax.

(229) His lordship, who was at this time first lord of the
admiralty, died on the 6th of June.-E.

Letter 123 To George Montagu, Esq.
Arlington Street, May 14, 1762. (page 181)

It is very hard, when you can plunge over head and ears in Irish
claret, and not have even your heel vulnerable by the gout, that
such a Pythagorean as I am should yet be subject to it! It is
not two years since I had it last, and here am I with My foot
again upon cushions. But I will not complain; the pain is
trifling, and does little more than prevent my frisking about.
If I can bear the motion of the chariot, I shall drive to
Strawberry tomorrow, for I had rather only look at verdure and
hear my nightingales from the bow-window, than receive visits and
listen to news. I can give you no certain satisfaction relative
to the viceroy, your cousin. It is universally said that he has
no mind to return to his dominions, and pretty much believed that
he will succeed to Lord Egremont's seals, who will not detain
them long from whoever is to be his successor.

I am sorry you have lost another Montagu, the Duke of
Manchester.(230) Your cousin Guilford is among the competitors
for chamberlain to the Queen. The Duke of Chandos, Lord
Northumberland, and even the Duke of Kingston, are named as other
candidates; but surely they will not turn the latter loose into
another chamber of maids of honour! Lord Cantelupe has asked to
rise from vice-chamberlain, but met with little encouragement.
It is odd, that there are now seventeen English and Scotch dukes
unmarried, and but seven out of twenty-seven have the garter.
It is comfortable to me to have a prospect of seeing Mr. Conway
soon; the ruling part of the administration are disposed to
recall our troops front Germany. In the mean time our officers
and their wives are embarked for Portugal-what must Europe think
of us when we make wars and assemblies all over the world?

I have been for a few days this week at Lord Thomond's; by making
a river-like piece of water, he has converted a very ugly spot
into a tolerable one. As I was so near, I went to see Audley
Inn(231) once more; but it is only the monument now of its former
grandeur. The gallery is pulled down, and nothing remains but
the great hall, and an apartment like a tower at each end. In
the church I found, still existing and quite fresh, the
escutcheon of the famous Countess of Essex and Somerset.

Adieu! I shall expect you with great pleasure the beginning of
next month.