Books: Letters of Horace Walpole, V4

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The Mother Gunning has published her letter to the Duke of
Argyll, and it disappoints every body. It is neither romantic,
nor entertaining, nor abusive, but on the General and Mr. and
Mrs. Bowen, and the General's groom. On the Bowens it is so
immeasurably scurrilous, that I think they must prosecute her.
She accuses them and her husband of a conspiracy to betray and
ruin his own daughter, without, even attempting to assign a
motive to them. Of the House of Argyll she says not a word. In
short, it is a most dull incoherent rhapsody, that gives no
account at all of the story that gave origin to her book, and at
which no mortal could guess from it; and the 246 pages contain
nothing but invectives on her four supposed enemies, and endless
tiresome encomiums on the virtues of her glorious darling, and
the unspottable innocence of that harmless lambkin. I would not
even send it to you if I had an opportunity-you would not have
patience to go through it; and there, I suppose, the absurd
legend will end. I am heartily tired of it. Adieu!

P. S. That ever I should give you two an uneasy moment! Oh!
forgive me: yet I do not deserve pardon in my own eyes: and less
in my own heart.

(758) His correspondents, to settle his mind as to the certainty
of their return at the time they had promised, had assured him,
that no financial difficulties should stand in the way; which is
what he means by sending to Charing-cross (to Drummond his
banker), No such difficulties occurred. The correspondence,
therefore, with Charing-cross never took place-M.B.

Letter 374 To The Miss Berrys.
Berkeley Square, Sunday, March 27, 1791. (page 486)

Though I begin my despatch to-day, I think I shall change my
post-days, as I hinted from Tuesdays to Fridays; not only as more
commodious for learning news for you, but as I do not receive
your letters generally but on Mondays, I have less time to
answer. I have an additional reason for delay this week. Mr.
Pitt has notified that he is to deliver a message from the King
to-morrow, to the House of Commons on the situation of Europe;
and should there be a long debate, I may not gather the
particulars till Tuesday morning, and if my levee lasts late,
shall not have time to write to you. Oh! now are you all
impatience to hear that message: I am sorry to say that I fear it
will be a warlike one. The Autocratrix swears, d-n her eyes! she
will hack her way to Constantinople through the blood of one
hundred thousand more Turks, and that we are very impertinent for
sending her a card with a sprig of olive. On the other hand,
Prussia bounces and buffs and claims our promise of helping him
to make peace by helping him to make war; and so, in the most
charitable and pacific way in the world, we are, they say, to
send twenty ships to the Baltic, and half as many to the Black
Sea,-this little Britain, commonly called Great Britain, is to
dictate to Petersburg and Bengal and cover Constantinople under
those wings that reach from the North Pole to the farthest East!
I am mighty sorry for it, and hope we shall not prove a jackdaw
that pretends to dress himself in the plumes of imperial eagles!

If we bounce abroad, we are more forgiving at home: a gentleman
who lives at the east end of St. James's Park has been sent for
by a lady who has a large house at the west end,(759) and they
have kissed and are friends; which he notified by toasting her
health in a bumper at a club the other day. I know no
circumstances, but am glad of it; I love peace, public or
private: not so the chieftains of the contending theatres of
harmony. Taylor, in wondrous respectful terms and full of
affliction, has printed in the newspapers an advertisement,
declaring that the Marquis's honour the Lord Chamberlain(760) did
in one season, and that an unprofitable one, send orders (you
know, that is tickets of admission without paying) into the
Opera-house, to the loss of the managers of four hundred pounds-
-servants, it is supposed, and Hertfordshire voters eke: and
moreover, that it has been sworn in Chancery that his lordship,
not as lord chamberlain, has stipulated with Gallini and O'Reilly
that he, his heirs and assigns, should preserve the power of
giving those detrimental orders in perpetuity. The immunity is a
little new: former chamberlains, it seems even durante officio,
have not exercised the privilege--if they had it.

One word more of the Gunnings. Captain Bowen informed the
authoress, by the channel of the papers, that he shall prosecute
her for the libel. She answered, by the same conveyance, that
she is extremely glad of it. But there is a difficulty-unless
the prosecution is criminal, it is thought that Madam being femme
couverte, the charge must be brought against her husband; and, to
be sure, it would be droll that the General should be attached
for not hindering his wife from writing a libel, that is more
virulent against him himself than any body! Another little
circumstance has come out: till the other day he did not know
that he had claimed descent from Charlemagne in the newspapers;
which, therefore, is referred to the same manufacture as the
other forgeries. The General said, "It is true I am well born;
but I know no such family in Ireland as the Charlemagnes."

Lord Ossory has just been here, and told me that Gunnilda has
written to Lord Blandford, in her own name and hand, begging his
pardon (for promising herself marriage in his name), but imputing
the first thought to his grandmother, whom she probably inspired
to think of it. This letter the Duchess of Marlborough carried
to the Duchess of Bedford, to open her eyes on her proteg`ee, but
with not much success; for what signify eyes, when the rest of
the head is gone? She only said, "You may be easy, for both
mother and daughter, are gone to France"--no doubt, on finding
her grace's money not so forthcoming as her countenance, and
terrified by Captain Bowen's prosecution and there, I hope, will
terminate that strange story; for in France there is not a
marquis left to marry her. One has heard Of nothing else these
seven months; and it requires some ingenuity to keep up the
attention of such a capital as London for above half a year
together. I supped on Thursday at Mrs. Buller's with the conways
and Mount-Edgcumbes; and the next night at Lady Ailesbury's with
the same company, and Lady Augusta Clavering.(761) You know, on
the famous night at your house when Gunnilda pretended that her
father had received Lord Blandford's appointment of the
wedding-day, we suspected, when they were gone, that we had seen
doubts in Lady Augusta's face, and I desired her uncle, Lord
Frederick, to ask her if we had guessed right; but she protests
she had then no suspicion.

I have determined to send this away on Tuesday, whether I know
the details of the temple of Janus to-morrow in time or not, that
you may give yourself airs of importance, if the Turin ministers
pretend to tell you news of your own country that you do not
know. You may say, your charg`e des affaires sent you word of
the King's message; and you may be mysterious about the rest; for
mystery in the diplomatic dictionary is construed as knowledge,
though, like a Hebrew word, it means the reverse too.

Sunday night.

I have been at White Pussy's(762) this evening. She asked much
after you. I did not think her lord looked as if he would drive
Prince Potemkin out of Bulgaria; but we trust that a new
Frederick of Prussia and a new William Pitt will. Could they lay
Catherine in the Black Sea, as ghosts used to be laid in the Red,
the world would be obliged to them.

(759) The Queen and the Prince of Wales.

(760) The Marquis of Salisbury.

\(761) Eldest daughter of John Duke of Argyle.

(762) Elizabeth Cary, wife of Lord Amherst, at this time
commander-in-chief.

Letter 375 To Miss Berry.
Strawberry Hill, Sunday night, April 3, 1791. (page 488)

Oh! what a shocking accident! Oh! how I detest your going abroad
more than I have done yet in my crossest mood! You escaped the
storm on the 10th of October, that gave me such an alarm; you
passed unhurt through the cannibals of France and their republic
of larrons and poissardes, who terrified me sufficiently; but I
never expected that you would dash yourself to pieces at
Pisa!(763) You say I love truth, and that you have told me the
exact truth: but how can fear believe!

How I hate a party of pleasure! It never turns out well: fools
fall out, and sensible People fall down! Still I thank you a
million of' times for writing yourself. If Miss Agnes had
written for you, I confess I should have been ten times more
alarmed than I am; and yet I am alarmed enough.

Not to torment you more with my fears, when I hope you are almost
recovered, I will answer the rest of your letter. General O'Hara
I have unluckily not met yet. He is so dispersed, and I am so
confined in my resorts and so seldom dine from home, that I have
not seen him, even at General Conway's. When I do, can you
imagine that we shall not talk of you two--yes; and your
accident, I am. sure, will be the chief topic. As our fleets
are to dethrone Catherine Petruchia, O'Hara will probably not be
sent to Siberia. Apropos to Catherine and Petruchio. I supped
with their representatives, Kemble and Mrs. Siddons, t'other
night at Miss Farren's: the Hothams(764) were there too, and Mrs.
Anderson,(765) who treated the players with acting as many
characters as ever they did, particularly Gunnilda and Lady
Clackmannan.(766) Mrs. Siddons is leaner, but looks well: she has
played Jane Shore and Desdemona, and is to play in the Gamester;
all the parts she will act this year. Kemble, they say, shone in
Othello.

Mrs. Damer has been received at Elvas with all military honours,
and a banquet, by order of Mello, formerly ambassador here. It
was handsome in him, but must have distressed her, who is so void
of ostentation and love of show. Miss Boyle,(767) who no more
than Miss Pulteney,(768) has let herself be snapped up by lovers
of her fortune, is going to Italy for a year with Lord and Lady
Malden.(769)

Berkeley Square, Monday after dinner.

Mirabeau is dead;(770) ay, miraculously; for it was of a putrid
fever (that began in his heart). Dr. Price is dying also.(771)
That Mr. Berry, with so much good nature and good sense should be
staggered, I do not wonder. Nobody is more devoted to liberty
than I am. It is therefore that I abhor the National Assembly,
whose outrageous violence has given, I fear, a lasting wound to
the cause; for anarchy is despotism in the hands of thousands. A
lion attacks but when hungry or provoked; but who can live in a
desert full of hyennas?--nobody but Mr. Bruce; and we have only
his word for it. Here is started up another corsair; one Paine,
from America, who has published an answer to Mr. Burke.(7722)
His doctrines go to the extremity of levelling and his style is
so coarse, that you would think he meant to degrade the language
as much as the government: here is one of his delicate
paragraphs:--"We do not want a king, or lords of the bedchamber,
or lords of the kitchen," etc. This rhetoric, I suppose, was
calculated for our poissardes.

(763) Miss Berry had fallen down a bank in the neighbourhood of
Pisa, and received a severe cut on the nose.

(764) Sir Charles Hotham Thompson, married to Lady Dorothy
Hobart, sister of John second Earl of Buckinghamshire.

(765) A daughter of Lady Cecilia Johnstone's, married to a
brother of Charles Anderson Pelham, Lord Garborough.

(766) A nickname, which had been given by the writer to a lady of
the society.

(767)Afterwards married to Lord Henry Fitzgerald.

(768) Afterwards married to Sir James Murray.

(769) Lord Malden, afterwards Earl of Essex, was a first cousin
of Miss Boyle. This journey did not take place.

(770) Mirabeau died on the 2d of April, at the age of forty-two,
a victim to his own debaucheries. His friend, M. Dupont, says of
him, that, "trusting to the strength of his constitution he gave
himself up, without restraint, to every kind of pleasure." Madame
de Stael states, that he suffered cruelly in the last days of his
life, and when no longer able to speak, wrote to his physician
for a dose OF opium, in the words of Hamlet, "to die--to sleep!"
His obsequies were celebrated with great pomp, and his body
placed in the Pantheon, by the side of that of Descartes. In two
short years his ashes were removed, by order of the Convention,
and scattered abroad by the populace; who, at the same time,
burned his bust in the Place de Gr`eve.-E.

(771) Dr. Price died on the 19th of April.-E.

(772) This was the first part of the " Rights of Man," in answer
to the celebrated "Reflections." At the commencement of the year
Paine had published in Paris, under the borrowed name of Achille
Duchatellet, a tract recommending the abolition of royalty.-E.

Letter 376 To Miss Berry.
Berkeley Square, Friday night, April 15, 1791. (page 490)

My preface will be short; for I have nothing to tell, and a great
deal that I am waiting patiently to hear; all which, however, may
be couched in these two phrases,-,, I am quite recovered of my
fall, and my nose will not be the worse for it"--for with all my
pretences, I cannot help having that nose a little upon my
spirits; though if it were flat, I should love it as much as
ever, for the sake of the head and heart that belong to it. I
have seen O'Hara, with his face as ruddy and black, and his teeth
as white as ever; and as fond of you two, and as grieved for your
fall, as any body--but I. He has got a better regiment.

Strawberry Hill, Sunday night, past eleven.

You chose your time ill for going abroad this year: England never
saw such a spring since it was fifteen years old. The warmth,
blossoms, and verdure are unparalleled. I am just come from
Richmond, having first called on Lady Di. who is designing and
painting pictures for prints to Dryden's Fables.(773) Oh! she has
done two most beautiful; one of Emily walking in the garden, and
Palamon seeing her from the tower: the other, a noble, free
composition of Theseus parting the rivals, when fighting in the
wood. They are not, as you will imagine, at all like the
pictures in the Shakspeare Gallery: no; they are -worthy of
Dryden.

I can tell you nothing at all certain with our war with Russia.
If one believes the weather-glass of the stocks, it will be
peace; they had fallen to 71, and are risen again, and soberly,
to 79. Fawkener" clerk of the council, sets out to-day or
to-morrow for Berlin; probably, I hope, with an excuse. In the
present case, I had much rather our ministers were bullies than
heroes: no mortal likes the war. The court-majority lost
thirteen of its former number at the beginning of the week, which
put the Opposition into spirits; but,
put pursuing their motions on Friday, twelve of the thirteen were
recovered.(774) Lord Onslow told me just now, at Madame de
BOufflers's, that Lady Salisbury was brought to bed of a son and
heir(775) last night, two hours after she came from the Opera;
and that Madame du Barry dined yesterday with the Prince of
Wales, at the Duke of Queensberry's, at Richmond. Thus you have
all my news, such as it is ; and I flatter myself no English at
Pisa or Florence can boast of better intelligence than you--but
for you, should I care about Madame du Barry or my Lady
Salisbury, or which of them lies in or lies out?

Berkeley Square, Monday, April 18.

Oh! what a dear letter have I found, and from both at once; and
with such a delightful bulletin! I should not be pleased with
the idleness of the pencil, were it not owing to the chapter of
health, which I prefer to every thing. You order me to be
particular about my own health: I have nothing to say about it,
but that it is as good as before my last fit. Can I expect or
desire more at my age? My ambition is to pass a summer, with you
two established at Cliveden. I shall not reject more if they
come; but one must not be presumptuous at seventy-three; and
though my eyes, ears, teeth, motion, have still lasted to make
life comfortable, I do not know that I should be enchanted if
surviving any of them ; and, having no desire to become a
philosopher, I had rather be naturally cheerful than affectedly
so: for patience I take to be only a resolution of holding one's
tongue, and not complaining of what one feels-for does one feel
or think the less for not owning it?

Though London increases every day, and Mr. Herschell has just
discovered a new square or circus somewhere by the New Road in
.the Via Lactea, where the cows used to be fed, I believe you
will think the town cannot hold all its inhabitants; so
prodigiously the population is augmented. I have twice been
going to stop my coach in Piccadilly, (and the same has happened
to Lady Ailesbury,) thinking there was a mob; and it was only
nymphs and swains sauntering or trudging. T'other morning, i. e.
at two o'clock, I went to see Mrs. Garrick and Miss Hannah More
at the Adelphi, and was stopped five times before I reached
Northumberland-house; for the tides of coaches, chariots,
curricles, phaetons, etc. are endless. Indeed, the town is so
extended, that the breed of chairs is almost lost ; for Hercules
and Atlas could not carry any body from one end of this enormous
capital to the other. How magnified would be the error of the
young woman at St. Helena, who, some said years ago,
to a captain of an Indiaman, "I suppose London is very empty,
when the India ships come out." Don't make Me excuses, then, for
short letters; nor trouble yourself a moment to lengthen them.
YOU Compare little towns to quiet times, which do not feed
history ; and most justly. If the vagaries of' London can be
comprised once a week in three or four pages of small quarto
paper, and not always that, how should little Pisa furnish an
equal export? When Pisa *was at war with the rival republic of
Milan, Machiavel was put to it to describe a battle, the
slaughter in which amounted to one man slain; and he was trampled
to death, by being thrown down and battered in his husk of
complete armour; as I remember reading above fifty years ago at
Florence.

Eleven at night.

Oh! mercy! I am just come from Mrs. Buller's, having left a very
pleasant set at Lady Herries'(776)--and for such a collection
Eight or ten women and girls, not one of whom I knew by sight: a
German Count., as stiff and upright as the inflexible Dowager of
Beaufort: a fat Dean and his wife, he speaking Cornish, and of
having dined to-day at Lambeth; four young officers, friends of
the boy Buller,(777) who played with one of them at tric-trac,
while the others made with the Misses a still more noisy
commerce; and not a creature but Mrs. Cholmondeley, who went away
immediately, and her son, who was speechless with the headache,
that I was the least acquainted with: and, to add to my
sufferings, the Count would talk to me of les beaux arts, of
which he knows no more than an oyster. At last, came in Mrs.
Blair, whom I knew as little; but she asked so kindly after you
two, and was so anxious about your fall and return, that I grew
quite fond of her, and beg you would love her for my sake, as I
do for yours. Good night!

I have this moment received a card from the Duchess-Dowager of
Ancaster, to summon me for to-morrow at three o'clock--I suppose
to sign Lord Cholmondeley's marriage-articles with her
daughter.(778) The wedding is to be this day sevennight. Save
me, my old stars, from wedding-dinners! But I trust they are not
of this age. I should sooner expect Hymen to jump out of a
curricle, and walk into the Duchess's dressing-room in boots and
a dirty shirt.

(773) A splendid edition of the Fables of Dryden, ornamented with
engravings, from the elegant and fascinating pencil of Lady Diana
Beauclerc, was published in folio in 1797.-E.

(774) On the 12th of April, a series of resolutions, moved by Mr.
Grey, the object of which was to pronounce the armament against
Russia inexpedient and unnecessary, were, after a warm debate,
negatived by 252 against 17?- A similar motion, made on the
fifteenth, by Mr. Baker was rejected by a majority of 254 to
162.-E.

(775) James-Brownlow-William Gascoyne Cecil. in 1823, he
succeeded his father as second Marquis of Salisbury.-E.

(776) The wife of the banker in St. James's Street.

(777) Mrs. Buller's only child.

(778) Lady Charlotte Bertie.

Letter 377 To Miss Berry.
Strawberry Hill, April 23, 1791. (page 492)

To-day, when the town is staring at the sudden resignation of the
Duke of Leeds,(779) asking the reason, and gaping to know who
will succeed him, I am come hither -with an indifference that
might pass for philosophy; as the true cause is not known, which
it seldom is. Don't tell Europe; but I really am come to look at
the repairs of Cliveden, and how they go on; not without an eye
to the lilacs and the apple-blossoms: for even self can find a
corner to wriggle into, though friendship may fit out the vessel.
Mr. Berry may, perhaps, wish I had more political curiosity; but
as I must return to town on Monday for Lord Cholmondeley's
wedding, I may hear before the departure of the post, if the
seals are given: for the Duke's reasons, should they be assigned,
shall one be certain? His intention was not even whispered till
Wednesday evening. The news from India, so long expected, are
not couleur de rose, but de sang: a detachment has been defeated
by Tippoo Saib, and Lord Cornwallis is gone to take the command
of the army himself. Will the East be more propitious to him
than the West?

The abolition of the slave-trade has been rejected by the House
of Commons,(780) though Mr. Pitt and Mr. Fox united earnestly to
carry it: but commerce chinked its purse, and that sound is
generally prevalent with the majority; and humanity's tears, and
eloquence, figures and arguments, had no more effect than on
those patrons of liberty, the National Assembly of France; who,
while they proclaim the rights of men, did not choose to admit
the sable moiety of mankind to a participation of those benefits.

Captain Bowen has published a little pamphlet of affidavits,
which prove that Gunnilda attempted to bribe her father's groom
to perjure himself; but he begged to be excused. Nothing more
appears against the mother, but that Miss pretended her mamma had
an aversion to Lord Lorn, (an aversion to a Marquis!) and that
she did not dare to acquaint so tender a parent with her lasting
passion for him. Still I am persuaded that both the mother and
the aunt were in the plot, whatever it was. I saw Lady Cecilia
last night, and made all your speeches, and received their value
in return for you.

Good Hannah More is killing herself by a new fit of benevolence,
about a young girl with a great fortune, who has been taken from
school at Bristol to Gretna Green, and cannot be discovered; nor
the apothecary who stole her. Mrs. Garrick, who suspects, as I
do, that Miss Europa is not very angry with Mr. Jupiter, had Very
warm words, a few nights ago, at the Bishop of London's, with
Lady Beaumont; but I diverted the quarrel by starting the stale
story of the Gunning. You know Lady Beaumont's eagerness: she is
ready to hang the apothecary with her own hands; and he certainly
is criminal enough. Poor Hannah lives with attorneys and Sir
Sampson Wright;(781) and I have seen her but once since she came
to town. Her ungrateful proteg`ee, the milkwoman, has published
her tragedy, and dedicated it to a patron as worthy as herself,
the Earl-bishop of Derry.(782)

At night.

Well! our wedding is over very properly, though with little
ceremony; for the men were in frocks and white waistcoats; most
of the women in white, and no diamonds but on the Duke's wife;
and nothing of ancient fashion but two bride-maids. The endowing
purse I believe, has been left off, ever since broad-pieces were
called in and melted down. We were but eighteen persons in all,
chiefly near relations of each side; and of each side a friend or
two: of the first sort, the Greatheds. Sir Peter Burrell gave
away the bride. The poor Duchess-mother wept excessively: She is
now left quite alone; her two daughters married, and her other
children dead; she herself, I fear, in a very dangerous way. She
goes directly to Spa, where the new-married are to meet her. We
all separated in an hour and a half. The Elliot-girl(783) was
there, and is pretty: she rolls in the numerous list of my
nephews and nieces.

I am now told that our Indian skirmish was a victory, and that
Tippoo Saib and all his cavalry and elephants, ran away; but sure
I am, that the first impression made on me by those who spread
the news, was not triumphant; nor can I enjoy success in that
country, which we have so abominably usurped and plundered. You
must wait for a new secretary of state till next post. The Duke
of Leeds is said to have resigned from bad health. The Ducs de
Richelieu(784) and De Pienne, and Madame de St. Priest, are
arrived here. Mr. Fawkener does not go to Berlin till Wednesday
* still the stocks do not believe in the war.