Books: Letters of Horace Walpole, V4

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(572) The first volume of Mr. Gough's "Sepulchral Monuments in
Great Britain."-E.

(573) See vol. iii., Aug. 12, 1769, letter 366.-E.

(574) The author of "The Pursuits of Literature",--

"Well pleased to see
Walpole and Nature may, for once, agree,"

adds, in a note, "read (it well deserves the attention) that
quaint, but most curious and learned writer's excellent Essay on
Modern Gardening."-E.

(575) Besides Walpole's Essay on Modern Gardening, the Duc do
Nivernois translated Pope's Essay on Man, and a portion of
Milton's Paradise Lost, into French verse.-E.

Letter 303 To The Earl Of Strafford.
Strawberry Hill, August 29, 1786. (page 384)

Since I received the honour of your lordship's last, I have been
at Park-place for a few days. Lord and Lady Frederick Campbell
and Mrs. Damer were there. We went on the Thames to see the new
bridge at Henley, and Mrs. Damer's colossal masks. There is not
a sight in the island more worthy of being visited. The bridge
is as perfect as if bridges were natural productions, and as
beautiful as if it had been built"for Wentworth Castle; and the
masks, as if the Romans had left them here. We saw them in a
fortunate moment; for the rest of the time was very cold and
uncomfortable, and the evenings as chill as many we have had
lately. In short, I am come to think that the beginning of an
old ditty, which passes for a collection of blunders, was really
an old English pastoral, it is so descriptive of our climate:

"Three children sliding on the ice
All on a summer's day----"

I have been overwhelmed more than ever by visitants to my house.
Yesterday I had Count Oginski,(576) who was a pretender to the
crown of Poland at the last election, and has been stripped of
most of a vast estate. He had on a ring of the new King of
Prussia, or I should have wished him joy on the death Of One of
the plunderers of his country.(577)

It has long been my opinion that the out-pensioners of Bedlam are
so numerous, that the shortest and cheapest way would be to
confine in Moorfields the few that remain in their senses, who
would then be safe; and let the rest go at large. They are the
out-pensioners who are for destroying poor dogs! The whole
canine race never did half so much mischief as Lord George
Gordon; nor even worry hares, but when hallooed on by men. As it
is a persecution of animals, I do not love hunting; and what old
writers mention as a commendation makes me hate it the more, its
being an image of war. Mercy on us! that destruction of any
species should be a sport or a merit! What cruel unreflecting
imps we are! Every body is unwilling to die; yet sacrifices the
lives of others to momentary -pastime, or to the still emptier
vapour, fame! A hero or a sportsman who wishes for longer life is
desirous of prolonging devastation. We shall be crammed, I
suppose, with panegyrics and epitaphs on the King of Prussia; I
am content that he can now have an epitaph. But, alas! the
Emperor will write one for him probably in blood! and, while he
shuts up convents for the sake of population, will be stuffing
hospitals .With maimed soldiers, besides making thousands of
widows!

I have just been reading a new published history of the Colleges
in Oxford, by Anthony Wood; and there found a feature in a
character that always offended me, that of Archbishop Chicheley,
who prompted Henry the Fifth to the invasion of France, to divert
him from squeezing the overgrown clergy. When that priest
meditated founding All Souls, and "consulted his friends (who
seem to have been honest men) what great matter of piety he had
best perform to God in his old age, he was advised by them to
build an hospital for the wounded and sick soldiers that daily
returned from the wars then had in France;"-I doubt his grace's
friends thought as I do of his artifice "but," continues the
historian, "disliking those motions, and valuing the welfare of
the deceased more than the wounded and diseased, he resolved with
himself to promote his design, which was, to have masses said for
the King, Queen, and himself, etc. while living, and for their
souls when dead." And that mummery the old foolish rogue thought
more efficacious than ointments and medicines for the wretches he
had made! And of the chaplains and clerks he instituted in that
dormitory, one was to teach grammars and another prick-song. How
history makes one shudder and laugh by turns! But I fear I have
wearied your lordship with my idle declamation, and you will
repent having commanded me to send you more letters.

(576) Father of Count Michel Oginski, the associate
of Kosciusko, and author of "Memoires sur la Pologne et les
Polonais, depuis 1788 jusqu'`a la fin de 1815;" in four volumes
octavo. Paris, 1826.-E.

(577) Frederick the Great had died on the 17th, at Berlin.-E.

Letter 304 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Strawberry Hill, Oct. 29, 1786. (page 386)

I was sorry not to be apprised of your intention of going to
town, where I would have met you; but I knew it too late, both as
I was engaged, and as you was to return so soon. I mean to come
to Park-place in a week or fortnight: but I should like to know
what company you expect, or do not expect; for I had rather fill
up your vacancies than be a supernumerary. Lady Ossory has sent
me two charades made by Colonel Fitzpatrick: the first she says
is very easy, the second very difficult. I have not come within
sight of the easy one; and, though I have a guess at the other, I
do not believe I am right; and so I send them to you, who are
master-general of the Oedipuses.

The first, that is so easy:--

"In concert, song, or serenade,
My first requires my second's aid.
To those residing near the pole
I would not recommend my whole."

The two last lines, I conclude, neither connect with the two
first, nor will help one to deciphering them.

The difficult one:--

"Charades of all things are the worst,
But my best have been my first.
Who with my second are concern'd,
Will to despise my whole have learn'd."

This sounds like a good one, and therefore I will not tell you my
solution; for, if it is wrong, it might lead you astray; and if
it is right, it would prove the charade is not a good one. Had I
any thing better, I would not send you charades, unless for the
name of the author.

I have had a letter from your brother, who tells me that he has
his grandson Stewart(578) with him, who is a prodigy. I say to
myself, Prodigies are grown so frequent,
That they have lost their name.
I have seen prodigies in plenty of late, ah, and formerly too;
but, divine as they have all been, each has had a mortal heel,
and has trodden back a vast deal of their celestial path 1 1 beg
to be excused from any more credulity.

I am sorry you have lost your fac-totum Stokes. I suppose he had
discovered that he was too necessary to you. Every day cures one
of reliance on others; And we acquire a prodigious stock of
experience, by the time that we shall cease to have occasion for
any. Well! I am not clear but making or solving charades is as
wise as any thing we can do. I should pardon professed
philosophers if they would allow that their wisdom is only
trifling, instead of calling their trifling wisdom. Adieu!

(578) Robert, eldest son of Robert Stewart, by Lady Sarah-Frances
Seymour, second daughter of Francis, first Marquis of Hertford;
afterwards so distinguished in the Political world as Viscount
Castlereagh. In 1821, he succeeded his father as second Marquis
of Londonderry, and died at his seat at North Cray, in August,
1822; at which time he was secretary of state for foreign
affairs.-E.

Letter 305 To The Right Hon. Lady Craven.(579)
Berkeley Square, Nov. 27, 1786. (page 387)

To my extreme surprise, Madam, when I knew not in what quarter of
the known or unknown world you was resident or existent, my maid
in Berkeley-square sent me to Strawberry-hill a note from your
ladyship, offering to call on me for a moment,-for a whirlwind, I
suppose, was waiting at your door to carry you to Japan; and, as
balloons have not yet settled any post-offices in the air, you
could not, at least did not, give me any direction where to
address you, though you did kindly reproach me with my silence.
I must enter into a little justification before I proceed. I
heard from you from Venice, then from Poland, and then, having
whisked through Tartary, from Petersburgh; but still with no
directions. I said to myself, "I will write to Grand Cairo,
which, probably, will be her next stage." Nor was I totally in
the wrong, for there came a letter from Constantinople, with a
design mentioned of going to the Greek islands, and orders to
write to you at Vienna; but with no banker or other address
specified.

For a great while I had even stronger reasons than these for
silence. For several months I was disabled by the gout from
holding a pen; and you must know, Madam, that one can't write
when one cannot write. Then, how write to la Fianc`ee du Roi de
Garbe? You had been in the tent of the Cham of Tartary, and in
the harem of the Captain Pacha, and, during your navigation of
the AEgean, were possibly fallen into the terrible power of a
corsair. How could I suppose that so many despotic infidels
would part with your charms? I never expected you again on
Christian ground. I did not doubt your having a talisman to make
people in love with you; but antitalismans are quite a new
specific.

Well, while I was in this quandary, I received a delightful
drawing Of the Castle of Otranto; but still provokingly without
any address. However, my gratitude for so very agreeable. and
obliging a present could not rest till I found you out. I wrote
to the Duchess of Richmond, to beg, she would ask your brother
Captain Berkeley for a direction to you; and he has this very day
been so good as to send me one, and I do not lose a moment in
making use of it.

I give your ladyship a million of thanks for the drawing, which
was really a very valuable gift to me. I did not even know that
there was a Castle of Otranto. When the story was finished, I
looked into the map of the kingdom of Naples for a well-sounding
name, and that of Otranto was very sonorous. Nay, but the
drawing is so satisfactory, that there are two small windows, one
over another, and looking into the country, that suit exactly to
the small chambers from one of which Matilda heard the young
peasant singing beneath her. Judge how welcome this must be to
the author; and thence judge, Madam, how much you must have
obliged him.

When you take another flight towards the bounds of the western
ocean, remember to leave a direction. One cannot always shoot
flying. Lord Chesterfield directed a letter to the late Lord
Pembroke, who was always swimming, "To the Earl of Pembroke in
the Thames, over against Whitehall." That was sure of finding
him within a certain number of fathom; but your ladyship's
longitude varies so rapidly, that one must be a good bowler
indeed, to take one's ground so judiciously that by casting wide
of the mark one may come in near to the jack.

(579) This celebrated lady was the daughter of Augustus, fourth
Earl of Berkeley. In 1767, she was married to William, who, in
1769, succeeded his uncle as sixth Lord Craven: she had seven
children by him; but, after a union of thirteen years, a
separation taking place, she left England for France, and
travelled in Italy, Austria, Poland, Russia, Turkey, and Greece.
In 1789, she published her "Journey through the Crimea to
England." Subsequently, she settled at Anspach, and, becoming a
widow in September, 1791, was united in the following month to
the Margrave of Anspach; who, having sold his principality to the
King of Prussia, settled in England; where he died in 1806. In
1825, the Margravine published her Memoirs, She died at Naples in
1828-E.

Letter 306 To Miss Hannah More.
Berkeley Square, Jan. 1, 1787. (page 388)

Do not imagine, dear Madam, that I pretend in the most distant
manner to pay you for charming poetry with insipid prose; much
less that I acquit a debt of gratitude for flattering kindness
and friendship, by a meagre tale that does not even aim at
celebrating you. No; I have but two motives for offering you the
accompanying trifle;(580) the first, to prove that the moment I
have finished any thing you are of the earliest in my thoughts:
the second, that, Coming from my press, I wish it may be added to
your Strawberry editions. It is so far from being designed for
the public, that I have printed but forty copies; which I do not
mention to raise its value, though it will with mere collectors,
but lest you should lend it and lose it, when I may not be able
to supply its place.

Christina, indeed, has some title to connexion with you, both
from her learning and her moral writings; as you are justly
entitled to a lodging in her "C it`e des Dames," where I am sure
her three patronesses would place you, as a favourite `el`eve of
some of their still more amiable sisters, who must at this moment
be condoling With their unfortunate sister Gratitude, whose
vagabond foundling has so basely disgraced her and herself. You
fancied that Mrs. Yearsley was a spurious issue of a muse; and to
be sure, with all their immortal virginity, the parish of
Parnassus has been sadly charged with their bantlings; and, as
nobody knows the fathers, no wonder some of the misses have
turned out woful reprobates!

(580) Christine de Pise.

Letter 307 To The Right Hon. Lady Craven.
Berkeley Square, Jan. 2, 1787. (page 389)

Your ladyship tells me, that you have kept a journal of your
travels: you know not when your friends at Paris will give you
time to put it au net; that is, I conclude and hope, prepare it
for the press. I do not wonder that those friends, whether
talismanic or others, are so assiduous, if you indulge them -
but, unless they are of the former description, they are
unpardonable, if they know what they interrupt; and deserve much
more that you should wish they had fallen into a ditch, than the
poor gentlemen who sigh more to see you in sheets of holland than
of paper. To me the mischief is enormous. How proud I should be
to register a noble authoress of my own country, who has
travelled over more regions and farther than any female in print!
Your ladyship has visited those islands and shores whence
formerly issued those travelling sages and legislators who sought
and imported wisdom, laws, and religion into Greece; and though
we are so perfect as to want none Of those commodities, the fame
of those philosophers is certainly diminished when a fair lady
has gone so far in quest of knowledge. You have gone in an age
when travels are brought to a juster standard, by narrations
being limited to truth. Formerly the performers of the longest
voyages destroyed half the merit of their expeditions by
relating, not what they had, but had not seen; a sort of
communication that they might have imparted without stirring a
foot from home. Such exaggerations drew discredit on travels,
till people would not believe that there existed in other
countries any thing very different from- what they saw in their
own; and because no Patagonians, or gentry seven or eight feet
high, were really discovered, they would not believe that there
were Laplanders or pigmies of three and four. Incredulity went
so far, that at last it Was doubted whether China so much as
existed; and our countryman Sir John Mandeville(581) got an ill
name, because, though he gave an account of it, he had not
brought back its right name:(582) at least
if I do not mistake, this was the case; but it is long since I
read any thing about the matter, and I am willing to begin my
travels again under your ladyship's auspices. I am sorry to
hear, Madam, that by your account Lady Mary Wortley was not so
accurate and faithful as modern travellers. The invaluable art
of inoculation, which she brought from Constantinople, so dear to
all admirers of beauty, and to which we owe, perhaps, the
preservation of yours, stamps her an universal benefactress; and
as you rival her in poetic talents, I had rather you would employ
them to celebrate her for her nostrum, than detect her for
romancing. However, genuine accounts of the interior of
seraglios would be precious; and I was in hopes would become the
greater rarities, as I flattered myself that your friends the
Empress of Russia and
the Emperor were determined to level Ottoman tyranny. His
Imperial Majesty, who has demolished the prison bars of so many
nunneries, would perform a stilt more Christian act in setting
free so many useless sultanas; and her Czarish Majesty, I trust,
would be as great a benefactress to our sex, by ,abolishing The
barbarous practice that reduces us to be of none. Your
ladyship's indefatigable peregrinations should have such great
objects in view, when you have the ear of sovereigns.

Peter the Hermit conjured up the first crusadoes against the
infidels by running about from monarch to monarch. Lady Craven
should ,be as zealous and as renowned; and every fair Circassian
would acknowledge, that one English lady had repaid their country
for the secret which another had given to Europe from their
practice.

(581) As an instance of the monstrous exaggerations of this
ancient Munchausen, take the following:--"I am a liar if I have
not seen in Java, a single shell in which three men might
completely hide themselves, and all white!" He also states
himself to have met with whole nations of giants, twenty-fie feet
high; and of pigmies, as many inches.-E.

(582) In a conversation with Mr. Windham, Dr. Johnson, a few days
before his death, recommended, for an account of China, Sir John
Mandeville's Travels." See Boswell's Johnson, vol. ix. p. 317,
ed. 1835.-E.

Letter 308 To Miss Hannah More.
Berkeley Square, Feb. 8, 1787. (page 390)

Dear madam,
I not only send you "La Cit`e des Dames," but Christina's Life of
Charles the Fifth, which will entertain you more; and which, when
I wrote my brief history of her, I did not know she had actually
composed. Mr. Dutens told me of it very lately, and actually
borrowed it for me; and but yesterday my French bookseller sent
me three-and-twenty other volumes of those M`emoires
Historiques,(583) which I had ordered him to get for me, and
which will keep my eyes to the oar for some time, whenever I have
leisure to sail through such an ocean; and yet I shall embark
with pleasure, late as it is for me to undertake such a hugeous
voyage: but a crew of old gossips are no improper company, and we
shall sit in a warm cabin, and hear and tell old stories of past
times.

Pray keep the volume as long as you please, and borrow as many
more as you please, for each volume is a detached piece. Yet I
do not suppose your friends will allow you much time for reading;
and I hope I shall often be the better for their hindering
you.(584) Yours most sincerely.

(583) "Collection des meilleurs Ouvrages Francais compos`es par
des Femmes." by Mademoiselle Keralio.

(584) Miss More, in a letter written a few days after, says--"Mr.
Walpole is remarkably well: yesterday he sent me a very agreeable
letter, with some very thick volumes of curious French M`emoires,
desiring me, if I like them, to send for the other twenty-three
volumes; a pretty light undertaking, in this mad town and this
sort of life." memoirs, vol. ii. p. 49.-E.

Letter 309 To The Rev. Henry Zouch.(585)
Berkeley Square, March 13, 1787. (page 391)

It is very true, Sir, as Lord Strafford told you, that I have
taken care that letters of living persons to me shall be restored
to the writers when I die. I have burnt a great many, and, as
you desire it, would do so by yours; but, having received a like
intimation some time ago, I put yours into a separate paper, with
a particular direction that they should be delivered to you: and,
therefore, I imagine it will be more satisfaction to you, as it
will be to me too, that you should receive them yourself; and
therefore if you please to let me know how I shall convey them, I
will bring them from Strawberry Hill, where they are, the first
time I go thither. I hope you enjoy your health, and I have the
honour to be, Sir, etc.

(585) Now first printed.

Letter 310 To Miss Hannah More.(596)
Strawberry Hill, June 15, 1787. (page 391)

In your note, on going out of town, you desired me to remember
you; but as I do not like the mere servile merit of obedience, I
took time, my dear Madam, to try to forget you; and, having
failed as to my wish, I have the free-born pleasure of thinking
of you in spite of my teeth, and without any regard to your
injunction. No queen upon earth, as fond as royal persons are of
their prerogative, but would prefer being loved for herself
rather than for her power; and I hope you have not more majesty

"Than the whole race of queens!"

Perhaps the spirit of your command did not mean that I should
give you such manual proof of' my remembrance; and you may not
know what to make of a subject who avows a mutinous spirit, and
at the same time exceeds the measure of his duty. It is, I own,
a kind of Irish loyalty; and, to keep up the Irish character, I
will confess that I never was disposed to be so loyal to any
sovereign that was not a subject. if you collect from all this
galai-Datias that I am cordially your humble servant, I shall be
content. The Irish have the best hearts in the three kingdoms,
and they never blunder more than when they attempt to express
their zeal and affection: the reason, I suppose, is, that cool
sense never thinks of attempting impossibilities; but a warm
heart feels itself ready to do more than is possible for those it
loves. I am sure our poor friend in Clarges-street(597) would
subscribe to this last sentence. What English heart ever
excelled hers? I should have almost said equalled, if I were not
writing to one that rivals her.

The last time I saw her before I left London, Miss Burney(598)
passed the evening there, looking quite recovered and well, and
so cheerful and agreeable, that the court seems only to have
improved the ease of her manner, instead of stamping more reserve
on it, as I feared: but what slight graces it can give, will not
compensate to us and the world for the loss of her company and
her writings. Not but that some young ladies who can write, can
stifle their talent as much as if they were under lock and key in
the royal library. I do not see but a cottage is as pernicious
to genius as the Queen's waiting-room. Why should one remember
people that forget themselves? Oh! I am sorry I used that
expression, as it is commonly applied to such self-oblivion as
Mrs. -; and light and darkness are not more opposite than the
forgetfulness to which I alluded, and hers. The former
forgetfulness can forget its own powers and the injuries of
others; the latter can forget its own defects, and the
obligations and services it has received. How poor is that
language which has not distinct terms for modesty and virtue, and
for excess of vanity and ingratitude! The Arabic tongue, I
suppose, has specific words for all the shades of oblivion,
which, you see, has its extremes. I think I have heard that
there are some score of different terms for a lion in Arabic,
each expressive of a different quality; and consequently its
generosity and its appetite for blood are not confounded in one
general word. but if an Arabian vocabulary were as numerous in
proportion for all the qualities that can enter into a human
composition, it would be more difficult to be learned therein,
than to master all the characters of the Chinese.

You did me the honour of asking me for my "Castle of Otranto,"
for your library at Cowslip Green. May I, as a printer, rather
than as an author, beg leave to furnish part of a shelf there?
and as I must fetch some of the books from Strawberry Hill, will
you wait till I can send them all together? And will you be so
good as to tell me whither I shall send them, or how direct and
convey them to you at Bristol? I shall have a satisfaction in
thinking that they will remain in your rising cottage (in which,
I hope, you will enjoy a long series of happy hours); and that
they will sometimes, when they and I shall be forgotten in other
places, recall to Miss More's memory her very sincere humble
servant.

(596) Now first collected.

(597) In a letter to Walpole, written at this time from Cowslip
Green, Miss More says, "When I sit in a little hermitage I have
built in my garden,-not to be melancholy in, but to think upon my
friends, and to read their works and letters,-Mr. Walpole
seldomer presents himself to my mind as the man of wit than as
the tender-hearted and humane friend of my dear infirm,
broken-spirited Mrs. Vesey. One only admires talents, and
admiration is a cold sentiment, with which affection has commonly
nothing to do; but one does more than admire them when they are
devoted to such gentle purposes. My very heart is softened when
I consider that she is now out of the way of your kind
attentions' and I fear that nothing else on earth gives her the
smallest pleasure." Memoirs, VOL ii, p. 72-E.