Books: Letters of Horace Walpole, V4

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Stupendous as Mr. Herschel's investigations are, and admirable as
are his talents, his expression of our retired corner of the
universe, seems a little improper. When a little emmet, standing
on its ant-hill, could get a peep into infinity, how could he
think he saw a corner in it?-a retired corner? Is there a bounded
side to infinitude! If there are twenty millions of worlds, why
not as many, and as many, and as many more? Oh! one's imagination
cracks! I ]one, to bait within distance of home, and rest at the
moon. Mr. Herschel will content me if he can discover thirteen
provinces there, well inhabited by men and women, and protected
by the law of nations;(555) that law, which was enacted by Europe
for its own emolument, to the prejudice of the other three parts
of the globe, and which bestows the property of whole realms on
the first person who happens to espy them, who can annex them to
the crown of Great Britain, in lieu of those it has lost beyond
the Atlantic.

I am very ignorant in astronomy, as ignorant as Segrais or the
lady, and could wish to ask many questions; as Whether our
celestial globes must not be infinitely magnified? Our orreries,
too, must not they be given to children, and new ones
constructed, that will at least take in our retired corner and
all its OUtflying constellations? Must not that host of worlds
be christened? Mr. Herschel himself has stood godfather for his
Majesty to the new Sidus. His Majesty, thank God! has a numerous
issue; but they and all the princes and princesses in Europe
cannot supply appellations enough for twenty millions of new-born
stars: no, though the royal progenies of Austria, Naples, and
Spain, who have each two dozen saints for sponsors, should
consent to split their bead-rolls of names among the foundlings.
But I find I talk like an old nurse; and your lordship at last
will, I believe, be convinced that it is not worth your while to
keep up a correspondence with a man in his dotage, merely because
he has the honour of being, my lord, your lordship's most
obedient servant.

(554) Now first printed.

(555) The then thirteen United States of America.

Letter 296 To John Pinkerton, Esq.(556)
Strawberry Hill, Sept. 30, 1785. (page 376)

I do not possess, nor ever looked into one of the books you
specify; nor Mabillon's "Acta Sanctorum," nor O'Flaherty's
"Ogygia." My reading has been very idle., and trifling, and
desultory; not that perhaps it has not been employed on authors
as respectable as those you want to consult, nor that I had not
rather read the deeds of sinners than Acta Sanctorum. I have no
reverence but for sensible books, and consequently not for a
greater number; and had rather have read fewer than I have than
more. The rest may be useful on certain points, as they happen
now to be to you; who, I am sure, would not read them for general
use and pleasure, and are a very different kind of author. I
shall like, I dare to say, any thing you do write, but I am not
overjoyed at your wading into the history of dark ages' unless
you use it as a canvass to be embroidered with your opinions, and
episodes, and comparisons with more recent times. That is a most
entertaining kind of writing. In general, I have seldom wasted
time on the origin of nations, unless for an opportunity of
smiling at the gravity of the author, or at the absurdity of the
manners of those ages; for absurdity and bravery compose almost
all the anecdotes we have of them, except the accounts of what
they never did, nor thought of doing. I have a real affection
for Bishop Hoadley: he stands with me in lieu of what are called
the Fathers; and I am much obliged to you for offering to lend me
a book of his: but, as my faith in him and his doctrines has long
been settled, I shall not return to such grave studies, when I
have so little time left, and desire only to pass it 'tranquilly,
and without thinking of what I can neither propagate nor correct.
When youth made me sanguine, I hoped mankind might be set right.
Now that I am very, old, I sit down with this lazy maxim; that,
unless one could cure men of being fools, it is to no purpose to
cure them of any folly, as it is only making room for some other.
Self-interest is thought to govern every man yet, is it possible
to be less governed by self-interest than men are in the
aggregate? Do not thousands sacrifice even their lives for
single men? Is not it an established rule in France, that every
person in that kingdom should love every king they have in his
turn? What government is formed for general happiness? Where is
not it thought heresy by the majority, to insinuate that the
felicity of one man ought not to be preferred to that Of
Millions? Had not I better, at sixty-eight, leave men to these
preposterous notions, than return to Bishop Hoadley, and sigh?
Not but I have a heartfelt satisfaction when I hear that a mind
as liberal as his, and who has dared to utter sacred truths,
meets with approbation and purchasers of his work. You must not,
however, flatter yourself, Sir, that all your purchasers are
admirers. Some will buy your book, because they have heard of
opinions in it that offend them, and because they want to find
matter in it for abusing you. Let them: the more it is
discussed, the more strongly Will your fame be established. I
commend you for scorning any artifice to puff your book; but you
must allow me to hope it will be attacked.

I have another satisfaction in the sale of your book-; it will
occasion a second edition. What if, as you do not approve of
confuting misquoters, you simply printed a list of their false
quotations, referring to the identical sentences, at the end of
your second edition? That will be preserving their infamy, which
else would perish where it was born; and perhaps would deter
others from similar forgeries. If any rational opponent staggers
you on any opinion of yours, I would retract it; and that would
be a second triumph. I am, perhaps, too impertinent and forward
with advice: it is at best a proof of zeal; and you are under no
obligation to follow my counsel. it is the weakness of old age
to be apt to give advice; but I will fairly arm you against
myself, by confessing that, when I was young, I was not apt to
take any.

(556) Now first collected.

Letter 297 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Strawberry Hill, Oct. 6, 1785. (page 377)

I wondered I did not hear from you, as I concluded you returned.
You have made me good amends by the entertaining story of your
travels. If I were not too disjointed for long journeys, I
should like to see much of what you have seen; but if I had the
agility of Vestris, I would not purchase all that pleasure for my
eyes at the expense of my unsociability, which could not have
borne the hospitality you experienced. It was always death to
me, when I did travel England, to have lords and ladies receive
me and show me their castles, instead of turning me over to their
housekeeper: it hindered my seeing any thing, and I was the whole
time meditating my escape; but Lady Ailesbury and you are not
such sensitive plants, nor shrink and close up if a stranger
holds out a hand. I don't wonder you was disappointed with
Jarvis's windows at New College; I had foretold their
miscarriage. The old and the new are as"mismatched as an orange
and a lemon, and destroy each other; nor is there room enough to
retire back and see half of the new; and Sir Joshua's washy
Virtues make the Nativity a dark spot from the darkness of the
Shepherds, which happened, as I knew it would, from most of
Jarvis's colours not being transparent.

I have not seen the improvements at Blenheim. I used to think it
one of the ugliest places in England; a giant's castle, who had
laid waste all the country round him. Every body now allows the
merit of Brown's achievements there.(557)

Of all your survey I wish most to see Beau Desert. Warwick
Castle and Stowe I know by heart. The first I had rather possess
than any seat upon earth: not that I think it the most beautiful
of all., though charming, but because I am so intimate with all
its proprietors for the last thousand years.

I have often and often studied the new plan of Stowe: it is
pompous; but though the Wings are altered, they are not
lengthened. Though three parts of the edifices in the garden are
bad, they enrich that insipid country, and the vastness pleases
me more than I can defend.

I rejoice that your jaunt has been serviceable to Lady Ailesbury.
The Charming man(558) is actually with me; but neither he nor I
can keep our promise incontinently. He expects two sons of his
brother Sir William, whom he is to pack up and send to the P`eres
de l'Oratoire at Paris. I expect Lord and Lady Waldegrave
to-morrow, who are to pass a few days with me; but both the
Charming man and I will be with you soon. I have no objection to
a wintry visit: as I can neither ride nor walk, it is more
comfortable when most of my time is passed within doors. If I
continue perfectly well, as I am, i shall not settle in town till
after Christmas: there will not be half a dozen persons there for
whom I care a straw.

I know nothing at all. The peace between the Austrian harpy and
the frogs is made. They were stout, and preferred being gobbled
to parting with their money. At last, France offered to pay the
money for them. The harpy blushed-for the first time-and would
not take it; but signed the peace, and will plunder somebody
else.

Have you got Boswell's most absurd enormous book?(559) The best
thing in it is a bon-mot of Lord Pembroke.(560) "The more one
learns of Johnson, the more preposterous assemblage he appears
of' strong sense, of the lowest bigotry and prejudices, of pride,
brutality, fretfulness, and vanity; and Boswell is the ape of
most of his faults, without a grain of his sense. It is the
story of a mountebank and his zany.

I forgot to say, that I wonder how, with your turn, and
knowledge, and enterprise, in scientific exploits, you came not
to visit the Duke of Bridgewater's operations; or did you omit
them, because I should not have understood a word you told me?
Adieu!

(557) "Capability Brown;"for an account of whom, see vol. ii. p.
112, letter 46. "I took," says Hannah More, "a very agreeable
lecture from my friend Mr. Brown in his art, and he promised to
give me taste by inoculation. I am sure he has a charming one;
and he illustrates every thing he says about gardening by some
literary or grammatical allusion. He told me he compared his art
to literary composition. 'Now, there,' said he, pointing his
finger, 'I make a comma; and there,' pointing to another spot,
'where a more decided turn is proper, I make a colon: at another
part (where an interruption is desirable to break the view), a
parenthesis--now a full stop; and then I begin another subject.'"
Memoirs, vol. i. p. 26.-E.

(558) Edward Jerningham, Esq. See post, September 4, 1789.-E.

(559) The "enormous book," of which Walpole here speaks so
disparagingly, is Boswell's popular "Journal of his Tour to the
Highlands and Islands of Scotland with Dr. Johnson, in the autumn
of 1773." It is now incorporated with the author's general
narrative of the Doctor's life in Mr. Croker's edition of 1831 -
and not the least interesting circumstance connected with it is,
that Johnson himself read, from time to time, Boswell's record of
his sayings and doings; and, so far from being displeased with
its minuteness, expressed great admiration of its accuracy, and
encouraged the chronicler to proceed with his grand ulterior
proceeding. See Life, vol. i. P. viii. ed. 1835.-E.

(560) "Lord Pembroke said Once to me at Wilton that Dr. Johnson's
sayings would not appear so extraordinary, were it not for his
bow-Wow way." Ibid. vol. iv, p. 8.-E.

Letter 298 To The Earl Of Charlement.(561)
Strawberry Hill, Nov. 23, 1785. (page 379)

As your lordship has given me this opportunity, I cannot resist
saying, what I was exceedingly tempted to mention two or three
years ago, but had not the confidence. In short, my lord, when
the order of St. Patrick was instituted, I had a mind to hint to
your lordship that it was exactly the moment for seizing an
occasion that has been irretrievably lost to this country. When
I was at Paris, I found in the convent of Les Grands Augustins
three vast chambers filled with the portraits (and their names
and titles beneath) of all the knights of the St. Esprit, from
the foundation of the order. Every new knight, with few
exceptions, gives his own portrait on his creation. Of the order
of St. Patrick, I think but one founder is dead yet; and his
picture perhaps may be retrieved. I will not make any apology to
so good a patriot as your lordship, for proposing a plan that
tends to the honour of his country, which I will presume to call
mine too, as it is both by union and my affection for it. I
should wish the name of the painter inscribed too, which would
excite emulation in your artists. But it is unnecessary to
dilate on the subject to your lordship; who, as a patron of the
arts, as well as a patriot, will improve on my imperfect
thoughts, and, if you approve of them, can give them stability.
I have the honour to beg my lord, etc.

(561) Now first collected.

Letter 299 To Lady Browne.(562)
Berkeley Square, Dec. 14, 1785. (page 379)

I am extremely obliged to your ladyship for your kind letter;
and, though I cannot write myself, I can dictate a few lines.
This has not been a regular fit of the gout, but a worse case:
one of my fingers opened with a deposit of chalk,(563) and
brought on gout, and both together an inflammation and swelling
almost up to my shoulder. in short, I was forced to have a
surgeon, who has managed me so Judiciously, that both the
inflammation and swelling are gone; and nothing remains but the
wound in my finger, which will heal as soon as all the chalk is
discharged. My surgeon wishes me to take the air; but I am so
afraid of a relapse, that I have not yet consented.

My poor old friend is a great loss;(564) but it did not much
Surprise me, and the manner comforts me. I had played at cards
with her at Mrs. Gostling's three nights before I came to town,
and found her extremely confused, and not knowing what she did:
indeed, I perceived something Of the sort before, and had found
her much broken this autumn. It seems, that the day after I saw
her, she went to General Lister's burial and got cold, and had
been ill for two or three days. On the Wednesday morning she
rose to have her bed made; and while sitting on the bed, with her
maid by her, sunk down at once, and died without a pang or a
groan. Poor Mr. Raftor is struck to the greatest degree, and for
some days would not see any body. I sent for him to town to me;
but he will not come till next week. Mrs. Prado has been so
excessively humane as to insist on his coming to her house till
his sister is buried, which is to be to-night.

The Duchess does not come till the 26th. Poor Miss Bunbury is
dead; and Mrs. Boughton, I hear, is in a very bad way. Lord John
Russell has sent the Duchess of Bedford word, that he is on the
point of marrying Lord Torrington's eldest daughter; and they
suppose the wedding is over.(565) Your ladyship, I am sure, will
be pleased to hear that Lord Euston is gone to his father, who
has written a letter with the highest approbation of Lady
Euston.(566) You will be diverted, too, Madam, to hear that
Hecate has told Mrs. Keppel, that she was sure that such virtue
would be rewarded at last.

(562) Now first printed.

(563) "Neither years nor sufferings," writes Hannah More to her
sister, "can abate the entertaining powers of the pleasant
Horace, which rather improve than decay; though he himself says
he is only fit to be a milk-woman, as the chalk-stones at his
fingers' ends qualify him for nothing but scoring; but he
declares he will not be a Bristol milk.woman. I was obliged to
recount to him all that odious tale." Memoirs, vol. ii. p. 14.-E.

(564) The incomparable Kitty Clive; who died at Twickenham on the
6th of December, in her seventy-second year.-E.

(565) Lord John Russell, who, in 1802, succeeded his brother
Francis as sixth Duke of Bedford, married, at Brussels, in March
1786, Georgiana Elizabeth, second daughter of Lord Torrington.-E.

(566) Lord Euston, who, in 1811, succeeded his father as fourth
Duke of Grafton, married, in November 1784, Charlotte Maria,
daughter of the Earl of Waldegrave.-E.

Letter 300 To Miss Hannah More.
Berkeley Square, Feb. 9, 1786. (page 380)

It is very cruel, my dear Madam, when you send me such charming
lines, and say such kind and flattering things to me and of me,
that I cannot even thank you with my own poor hand; and yet my
hand is as much obliged to you as my eye, and ear, and
understanding. My hand was in great pain when your present
arrived. I opened it directly, and set to reading, till your
music and my own vanity composed a quieting draught that glided
to the ends of my fingers, and lulled the throbs into the
deliquium that attends opium when it does not put one absolutely
to sleep. I don't believe that the deity who formerly practised
both poetry and physic, when gods got their livelihood by more
than one profession, ever gave a recipe in rhyme; and therefore,
since Dr. Johnson has prohibited application to pagan divinities,
and Mr. Burke has not struck medicine and poetry out of the list
of sinecures, I wish you may get a patent for life for exercising
both faculties. It would be a comfortable event for me for,
since I cannot wait on you to thank you, nor dare ask you

----to call your doves yourself,

and visit me in your Parnassian quality, I might send for you as
my physicianess. Yet why should I not ask you to come and see
me? You are not such a prude as to

----blush to show compassion,

though it should

not chance this year to be the fashion,(567)

And I can tell you, that powerful as your poetry is, and old as I
am, I believe a visit from you would do me as much good almost as
your verses.(568) In the meantime, I beg you to accept of an
addition to your Strawberry editions; and believe me to be, with
the greatest gratitude, your too much honoured, and most obliged
humble servant.

See "Florio," a poetical tale, which Miss Hannah More had
recently published with the "Bas Bleu."-E.

(568) on the 11th, Hannah More paid him a visit. "I made poor
Vesey," she says, "go with me on Saturday to see Mr. Walpole, who
has had a long illness. Notwithstanding his sufferings, I never
found him so pleasant, so witty, and so entertaining. He said a
thousand diverting things about 'Florio;' but accused me of
having imposed on the world by a dedication full of falsehood;
meaning the compliment to himself: I never knew a man suffer pain
with such entire patience. This submission is certainly a most
valuable part of religion; and yet, alas! he is not religious. I
must however, do him the justice to say, that, except the delight
he has in teasing me for what he calls over-strictness, I never
heard a sentence from him which savoured of infidelity." Memoirs,
vol. ii, p. 11.-E.

Letter 301 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Sunday night, June 18, 1786. (page 301)

I suppose you have been swearing at the east wind for parching
your verdure, and are now weeping for the rain that drowns your
hay. I have these calamities in common, and my constant and
particular one,-people that come to see my house, which
unfortunately is more in request than ever. Already I have had
twenty-eight sets, have five more tickets given out; and
yesterday, before I had dined, three German barons came. My
house is a torment, not a comfort!

I was sent for again to dine at Gunnersbury on Friday, and was
forced to send to town for a dress-coat and a sword. There were
the Prince of Wales, the Prince of Mecklenburg, the Duke of
Portland, Lord Clanbrassil, Lord and Lady Clermont, Lord and Lady
Southampton, Lord Pelham, and Mrs. Howe. The Prince of
Mecklenburg went back to Windsor after coffee; and the Prince and
Lord and Lady Clermont to town after tea, to hear some new French
players at Lady William Gordon's. The Princess, Lady Barrymore,
and the rest of us, played three pools at commerce till ten. I
am afraid I was tired and gaped. While we were at the dairy, the
Princess insisted on my making some verses on Gunnersbury. I
pleaded being superannuated. She would not excuse me. I
promised she should have an ode on her next birthday, which
diverted the Prince; but all would not do. So, as I came home, I
made the following stanzas, and sent them to her breakfast next
morning:--

In deathless odes for ever green
Augustus' laurels blow;
Nor e'er was grateful duty seen
In warmer strains to flow.

Oh! why is Flaccus not alive,
Your favourite scene to sing?
To Gunnersbury's charms could give
His lyre immortal spring.

As warm as his my zeal for you,
Great princess! could I show it;
But though you have a Horace too--
Ah, Madam! he's no poet.

If they are poor verses, consider I am sixty-nine, was half
asleep, and made them almost extempore-and by command! However,
they succeeded, and I received this gracious answer:--

" I wish I had a name that could answer your pretty verses. Your
yawning yesterday opened your vein for pleasing me; and I return
you my thanks, my good Mr. Walpole, and remain sincerely your
friend, Amelia."

I think this very genteel at seventy-five.

Do you know that I have bought the Jupiter Serapis as well as the
Julio Clovio!(569) Mr. * * * * assures me he has seen six of the
head, and not one of them so fine, or so well preserved. I am
glad Sir Joshua Reynolds saw no more excellence in the Jupiter
than in the Clovio; or the Duke of Portland, I suppose, would
have purchased it, as he has the vase for a thousand pounds. I
would not change. I told Sir William Hamilton and the late
Duchess, when I never thought it would be mine, that I had rather
have the head than the vase.- I shall long for Mrs. Damer to make
a bust to it, and then it will be still more valuable. I have
deposited both the Illumination(570) and the Jupiter in Lady
Di.'s cabinet,(571) which is worthy of them. And here my
collection winds up; I will not purchase trumpery after such
jewels. Besides, every thing is much dearer in old age, as one
has less time to enjoy. Good night!

(569) At the sale Of the Duchess-dowager of Portland.

(570) The Book of Psalms, with twenty-one illuminations, by Don
Julio Clovio, scholar of Julio Romano-E.

(571) A cabinet at Strawberry Hill, built in 1776, to receive
seven incomparable drawings of Lady Diana Beauclere, for
Walpole's tragedy of "The Mysterious Mother."-E.

Letter 302 To Richard Gough, Esq.
Berkeley Square, June 21, 1786. (page 383)

On coming to town yesterday upon business, I found, Sir, your
very magnificent and most valuable present,(572) for which I beg
you will accept my most grateful thanks. I am impatient to
return to Twickenham, to read it tranquilly. As yet I have only
had time to turn the prints over, and to read the preface; but I
see already that it is both a noble and laborious work, and -will
do great honour both to you and to your country. Yet one
apprehension it has given me-I fear not living to see the second
part! Yet I shall presume to keep it Unbound; not only till it
is perfectly dry and secure, but, as I mean the binding should be
as fine as it deserves, I should be afraid of not having both
volumes exactly alike.

Your partiality, I doubt, Sir, has induced you to insert a paper
not so worthy of the public regard as the rest of your splendid
performance. My letter to Mr. Cole,(573) which I am sure I had
utterly forgotten .to have ever written, was a hasty indigested
sketch, like the rest of my scribblings, and never calculated to
lead such well-meditated and accurate works as yours. Having
lived familiarly with Mr. Cole, from our boyhood, I used to write
to him carelessly on the occasions that occurred. As it was
always on subjects of' no importance, I never thought of
enjoining secrecy. I could not foresee that such idle
Communications would find a place in a great national work, or I
should have been more attentive to 'what I said. Your taste,
Sir, I fear, has for once been misled; and I shall be sorry for
having innocently blemished a single page. Since your partiality
(for such it certainly was) has gone so far, I flatter myself you
will have retained enough to accept, not a retribution, but a
trifling mark of my regard, in the little volume that accompanies
this; in which you will find that another too favourable reader
has bestowed on me more distinction than I could procure for
myself, by turning my slight Essay on Gardening(574) into the
pure French of the last age;(575) and, which is wonderful, has
not debased Milton by French poetry: on the contrary, I think
Milton has given a dignity to French poetry--nay, and harmony;
both which I thought that language almost incapable of receiving.
As I would wish to give all the value I can to my offering, I
Will mention, that I have printed but four hundred copies, half
of which went to France; and as this is an age in which mere
rarities are preferred to commoner things of intrinsic worth,-as
I have found by the ridiculous prices given for some of my
insignificant publications, merely because they are scarce,-I
hope, under the title of a kind of curiosity, my thin piece will
be admitted into your library. If you would indulge me so far,
Sir, as to let me know when I might hope to see the second part,
I would calculate how many more fits of the gout I may weather,
and would be still more strict in my regimen. I hope, at least,
that you will not wait for the engravers, but will accomplish the
text for the sake of the world: in this I speak disinterestedly.
Though you are much younger than I am, I would have your part of
the work secure - engravers may always proceed, or be found;
another author cannot.