Books: Letters of Horace Walpole, V4

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(419) Cole, in a letter to Mr. Gough, acquainting him with
Walpole's election, adds--"The admission of a few things into our
Archaeologia, has, I fear, estranged for ever one of the most
lively, learned, and entertaining members on our list."-E.

Letter 213 To The Rev. Mr. Cole.
March 5, 1781. (PAGE 273)

I do not in the least guess or imagine what you mean by Lord
Hardwicke's publication of a Walpoliana.(420) Naturally it
should mean a collection of sayings or anecdotes of my father,
according to the French Anas, which began, I think, with those of
Menage. Or, is it a collection of letters and state-papers,
during his administration? I own I am curious to know at least
what this piece contains. I had not heard a word of it; and,
were it not for the name, I should have very little
inquisitiveness about it: for nothing upon earth ever was duller
than the three heavy tomes his lordship printed of Sir Dudley
Carleton's Negotiations, and of what he called State-papers.
Pray send me an answer as soon as you can, at least of as much as
you have heard about this thing.

(420) "Walpoliana; or a few Anecdotes of Sir Robert Walpole"--an
agreeable little collection of anecdotes relative to Sir Robert
Walpole, made by Philip second Earl of Hardwicke; printed in
quarto, but never published.-E.

Letter 214 To The Rev. Mr. Cole.
Berkeley Square, March 29, 1781. (PAGE 273)

You are so good-natured that I am sure you will be glad to be
told that the report of Mr. Pennant being disordered is not true.
He is come to town--has been with me, and at least is as composed
as ever I saw him. He is going to publish another part of his
Welsh Tour, which he can well afford; though I believe he does
not lose by his works. An aunt is dead, exceedingly rich, who
had given some thousands to him and his daughter, but suddenly
changed her mind and left all to his sister, who has most nobly
given him all that had been destined in the cancelled will. Dr.
Nash has just published the first volume of his Worcestershire.
It is a folio of prodigious corpulence, and yet dry enough; but
then it is finely dressed, and has many heads and views.(421)
Dr. Lort was with me yesterday, and I never saw him better, nor
has he been much out of order. I hope your gout has left you;
but here are winds bitter enough to give one any thing. Yours
ever.

(421) Dr. Threadway Nash's "Collections for the History of
Worcestershire;" 1781-1799; in two volumes, folio.-E.

Letter 215 To The Rev. Mr. Cole.
April 3, 1781.(PAGE 274)

I am very sorry, dear Sir, that, in my last letter but one, I
took notice of what you said of Lord Hardwicke; the truth was, I
am perfectly indifferent about what he prints or publishes.
There is generally a little indirect malice but so much more
dulness, that the latter soon suffocates the former. This is
telling you that I could not be offended at any thing you said of
him, nor am I likely to suspect a sincere friend of disobliging
me. You have proved the direct contrary these forty years. I
have not time to say more, but am ever most truly yours.

Letter 216 To The Rev. Mr. Cole.
Berkeley Square, May 4, 1781. (PAGE 274)

I shall not only be ready to show Strawberry Hill, at any time he
chooses, to Dr. Farmer, as your friend, but to be honoured with
his acquaintance, though I am very shy now of contracting new. I
have great respect for his character and abilities and Judicious
taste, and am very clear that he has elucidated Shakspeare(422)
in a more reasonable and satisfactory manner than any of his
affected commentators, who only complimented him with learning
that he had not, in order to display their own.

Pray give me timely notice whenever I am likely to see Dr.
Farmer, that I may not be out of the way when I can have an
opportunity of showing attention to a friend of yours, and pay a
small part of your gratitude to him. There shall be a bed at his
service; for you know Strawberry cannot be seen in a moment, nor
are Englishmen so liants as to get acquainted in the time they
are walking through a house.

But now, my good Sir, how could you suffer your prejudiced
partiality to me to run away with you so extravagantly, as to
call me one of the greatest characters of the age? You are too
honest to flatter, too much a hermit to be interested, and I am
too powerless and insignificant to be an object of court, were
you capable of paying it from mercenary views. I know then that
it could proceed from nothing but the warmth of your heart; but
if you are blind towards me, I am not so to myself. I know not
how others feel on such occasions, but if any one happens to
praise me, all my faults rush into my face, and make me turn my
eyes inward and outward with horror. What am I but a poor old
skeleton tottering towards the grave, and conscious of a thousand
weaknesses, follies, and worse! And for talents, what are mine
but trifling and superficial; and, compared with those of men
with real genius, most diminutive! Mine a great character! Mercy
on me! I am a composition of Anthony Wood and Madame Danois,(423)
and I know not what trumpery writers. This is the least I can
say to refute your panegyric, which I shall burn presently; for I
will not have such an encomiastic letter found in my possession,
lest I should seem to have been pleased with it. I enjoin you, as
a penance, not to contradict one tittle I have said here; for I
am not begging more compliments, and shall take it seriously ill
if you ever pay me another. We have been friends above forty
years; I am satisfied of your sincerity and affection; but does
it become us, at past threescore each, to be saying fine things
to one another? Consider how soon we shall both be nothing!

I assure you, with great truth, I am at this present very sick of
my little vapour of fame. My tragedy has wandered into the hands
of some banditti booksellers, and I am forced to publish it
myself to prevent piracy.(424) All I can do is to condemn it
myself, and that I shall. I am reading Mr. Pennant's new Welsh
Tour; he has pleased me by making very handsome mention of you;
but I will not do, what I have been blaming.

My poor dear Madame du Deffand's little dog is arrived. She made
me promise to take care of it the last time I saw her: that I
will most religiously, and make it as happy as is possible.(425)
I have not much curiosity to see your Cambridge Raphael, but
great desire to see you, and will certainly this summer, accept
your invitation,, which I take much kinder than your great
character, though both flowed from the same friendship. Mine for
you is exactly what it has been ever since you knew (and few men
can boast so uninterrupted a friendship as yours and that of--)
H. W.

(422) In his well-known "Essay on the Learning of Shakspeare."-E.

(423) Madame d'Aulnoy, the contemporary of Perrault, and, like
him, a writer of fairy tales. She was the authoress of "The
Lady's Travels in Spain," and many other works, which have been
translated into English.-E.

(424) Walpole had printed fifty copies of"The Mysterious Mother"
at Strawberry Hill as early as the year 1765; but a surreptitious
edition of it being announced in 1781, he consented to Dodsley's
publishing a genuine one.-E.

(425) In his reply to this letter, of the 7th of May, the worthy
antiquary says-"I congratulate the little Parisian dog, that he
has fallen into the hands of so humane a master. I have a little
diminutive dog, Busy, full as great a favourite, and never out of
my lap: I have already, in case of an accident, ensured it a
refuge from starvation and ill-usage. It is the least we can do
for poor harmless, shiftless, pampered animals that have amused
us, and we have spoilt." A brother antiquary, on reading this
passage, exclaimed, "How could Mr. Cole ever get through the
transcript of a Bishop's Registry, or a Chartulary, with Busy
never out of his lap!"-E.

Letter 217 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Strawberry Hill,, Sunday evening, May 6, 1781. (PAGE 275)

I supped With your Countess on Friday at Lord Frederick
Campbell's, where I heard of the relief of Gibraltar by Darby.
The Spanish fleet kept close in Cadiz: however, he lifted up his
leg, and just squirted contempt on them. As he is disembarrassed
of his transports, I suppose their ships will scramble on shore
rather than fight. Well, I shall be perfectly content with our
fleet coming back in a whole skin; it will be enough to have
outquixoted Don Quixote's own nation. As I knew, your Countess
would write the next day, I waited till she was gone out of town
and would not have much to tell you--not that I have either; and
it is giving myself an air to pretend to know more at Twickenham
than she can at Henley. Though it is a bitter northeast, I came
hither to-day to look at my lilacs, though `a la glace; and to
get from pharaoh, for which there is a rage. I doted on it above
thirty years ago; but it is not decent to sit up all night now
with boys and girls. My nephew, Lord Cholmondeley, the banker `a
la mode, has been demolished. He and his associate, Sir
Willoughby Aston, went early t'other night to Brookcs's, before
Charles Fox and Fitzpatrick, who keep a bank there, were come;
but they soon arrived, attacked their rivals, broke their bank,
and won above four thousand pounds. "There," said Fox, "so
should all usurpers be served!" He did still better; for he sent
for his tradesmen, and paid as far as the money would go. In the
mornings he continues his war on Lord North, but cannot break
that bank. The court has carried a secret committee for India
affairs, and it is supposed that Rumbold is to be the sacrifice;
but as he is near as rich as Lord Clive, I conclude he will
escape by the same golden key.

I told you in my last that Tonton was arrived. I brought him
this morning to take possession of his new villa, but his
installation has not been at all pacific. As he has already
found out that he may be as despotic as at Saint Joseph's, he
began with exiling my beautiful little cat; upon which, however,
we shall not quite agree. He then flew at one of my dogs,(426)
who returned it by biting his foot till it bled, but was severely
beaten for it. I immediately rung for Margaret,(427) to dress
his foot: but in the midst of my tribulation could not keep my
countenance; for she cried, "Poor little thing, he does not
understand my language!" I hope she will not recollect too that
he is a Papist!

Berkeley Square, Tuesday, May 8.

I came before dinner, and found your long letter of the 3d. You
have mistaken Tonton's sex, who is a cavalier, and a little of
the mousquetaire still; but if I do not correct his vivacities,
at least I shall not encourage them like my dear old friend.

You say nothing of your health; therefore, I trust it is quite
re-established: my own is most flourishing for me. They say the
Parliament will rise by the birthday; not that it seems to be any
grievance or confinement to any body. I hope you will soon come
and enjoy a quiet summer under the laurels of your own
conscience. They are at least as spreading as any body's else;
and the soil will preserve their verdure for ever. Methinks we
western powers might as well make peace. since we make war so
clumsily. Yet I doubt the awkwardness of our enemies will not
have brought down our stomach. Well, I wish for the sake of
mankind there was an end of their sufferings! Even spectators
are not amused--the whole war has passed like the riotous murmurs
of the upper gallery before the play begins--they have pelted the
candle-snuffers, the stage has been swept, the music has played,
people have taken their places--but the deuce a bit of any
performance!--And when folks go home, they will have seen nothing
but a farce, that has cost fifty times more than the best
tragedy!

(426) This does not quite accord with the favourable character
given of Tonton by Madame du Deffand's secretary, Wyrt, in a
letter to Walpole:--"Je garderai," he says, "Tonton jusqu'au
d`epart de M. Thomas Walpole; j'en ai le plus grand soin. Il est
tr`es doux; il ne mord personne; il n'`etait m`echant qu'aupr`es
de sa maitresse."-E.

(427) Mr. Walpole's housekeeper.

Letter 218 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Berkeley Square, May 28, 1781. (PAGE 277)

This letter, like an embarkation, will not set out till it has
gotten its complement; but I begin it, as I have just received
your second letter. I wrote to you two days ago, and did not
mean to complain; for you certainly cannot have variety of matter
in your sequestered isle: and since you do not disdain trifling
news, this good town, that furnishes nothing else, at least
produces weeds, which shoot up in spite of the Scotch thistles,
that have choked all good fruits. I do not know what Lady Craven
designs to do with her play; I hope, act it only in private; for
her other was murdered, and the audience did not exert the least
gallantry to so pretty an authoress, though she gave them so fair
an opportunity. For my own play, I was going to publish it in my
own defence, as a spurious edition was advertised here, besides
one in Ireland. My advertisement has overlaid the former for the
present, and that tempts me to suppress mine, as I have a
thorough aversion to its appearance. Still, I think I shall
produce it in the dead of summer, that it may be forgotten by
winter; for I could not bear having it the subject of
conversation in a full town. It is printed; so I can let it
steal out in the midst of the first event that engrosses the
public; and as it is not quite a novelty, I have no fear but it
will be stillborn, if it is twin with any babe that squalls and
makes much noise.

At the same time with yours I received a letter from another
cousin at Paris, who tells me Necker is on the verge, and in the
postscript says, he has actually resigned. I heard so a few days
ago; but this is a full confirmation. Do you remember a
conversation at your house, at supper, in which a friend of yours
spoke, very unfavourably of Necker, and seemed to wish his fall?
In my own opinion they are much in the wrong. It is true, Necker
laboured with all his shoulders to restore their finances; yet I
am persuaded that his attention to that great object made him
clog all their military operations. They will pay dearer for
money; but money they will have: nor is it so dear to them, for,
when they have gotten it, they have only not to pay. A Monsieur
Joly de Fleury is comptroller-general. I know nothing of him;
but as they change so often, some able man will prove minister at
last--and there they will have the advantage again.

Lord Cornwallis's courier, Mr. Broderick, is not yet arrived; so
you are a little precipitate in thinking America so much nearer
to be subdued, which you have often swallowed up as if you were a
minister; and yet, methinks, that era has been so frequently put
off, that I wonder you are not cured of being sanguine--or
rather, of believing the magnificent lies that every trifling
advantage gives birth to. If a quarter of the Americans had
joined the Royalists, that have been said to join, all the
colonies would not hold them. But, at least, they have been like
the trick of kings and queens at cards; where one Of two goes
back every turn to fetch another. However, this Is only for
conversation for the moment. With such aversion to disputation,
I have no zeal for making converts to my own opinions not even on
points that touch me nearer.

Thursday, May 31.

If you see the papers, you will find that there was a warm debate
yesterday on a fresh proposal from Hartley(428) for pacification
with America; in which the ministers were roundly reproached with
their boasts of the returning zeal of the colonies and which,
though it ought by their own accounts to be so much nearer
Complete, they could not maintain to be at all effectual; though
even yesterday a report was revived of a second victory of Lord
Cornwallis. This debate prevented another on the Marriage-bill,
which Charles Fox wants to get repealed, and which he told me he
was going to labour. I mention this from the circumstance of the
moment when he told ne so. I had been to see if Lady Ailesbury
was come to town; as I came up St. James's-street, I saw a cart
and porters at Charles's door; coppers and old chests of drawers
loading. In short, his success at faro has awakened his host of
creditors; but unless his bank had swelled to the size of the
bank of England, it could not have yielded a sop apiece for each.
Epsom, too, had been unpropitious; and One creditor has actually
seized and carried off his goods, which did not seem worth
removing. As I returned full of this scene, whom should I find
sauntering by my own door but Charles? He came up and talked to
me at the coach-window, on the Marriage-bill(429) With as much
sang-froid as if he knew nothing of what had happened. I have no
admiration for insensibility to one's own faults, especially when
committed out of vanity. Perhaps the whole philosophy consisted
in the commission. If you could have been as much to blame, the
last thing you would bear well would be your own reflections.
The more marvellous Fox's parts are, the more one is provoked at
his follies, which comfort so many rascals and blockheads, and
make all that is admirable and amiable in him only matter of
regret to those who like him as I do.

I did intend to settle at Strawberry on Sunday; but must return
on Thursday, for a party made at Marlborough-house for Princess
Amelia. I am continually tempted to retire entirely; and should,
if I did not see how very unfit English tempers are for living
quite out of the world. We grow abominably peevish and severe on
others, if we are not constantly rubbed against and polished by
them. I need not name friends and relations of yours and mine as
instances. My prophecy on the short reign of faro is verified
already. The bankers find that all the calculated advantages of
the game do not balance pinchbeck parolis and debts of honourable
women. The bankers, I think, might have had a previous and more
generous reason, the very bad air of holding a bank:--but this
country is as hardened against the petite morale, as against the
greater.--What should I think of the world if I quitted it
entirely?

(428) On the preceding day, Mr. Hartley had moved for leave to
bring in a bill to invest the Crown with sufficient power to
treat upon the means of restoring peace with the provinces of
north America. It was Negatived by 106 against 72.-E.

(429) On the 7th of June Mr. Fox moved for leave to bring in a
bill to amend the act of the 26th of George the Second, for
preventing clandestine marriages. The bill passed the Commons,
but was rejected by the Lords.-E.

Letter 219 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Strawberry Hill, June 3, 1781. (PAGE 279)

You know I have more philosophy about you than courage, yet for
once I have been very brave. There was an article in the papers
last week that said, a letter from Jersey mentioned apprehensions
of being attacked by four thousand French. Do you know that I
treated the paragraph with scorn? No, no; I am not afraid for
your island, when you are at home in it, and have had time to
fortify it, and have sufficient force. No, no; it will not be
surprised when you are there, and when our fleet is returned, and
Digby before Brest. However, with all my valour, I could not
help going to your brother to ask a few questions; but he had
heard of no such letter. The French would be foolish indeed if
they ran their heads a third time against your rocks, when
watched by the most vigilant of all governors. Your nephew
George(430) is arrived with the fleet: my door opened t'other
morning; I looked towards the common horizon of heads, but was a
foot and a half below any face. The handsomest giant in the
world made but one step across my room, and seizing my hand, gave
it such a robust gripe that I squalled; for he crushed my poor
chalk-stones to powder. When I had recovered from the pain of
his friendly salute, I said, "It must be George Conway! and yet,
is it possible? Why, it is not fifteen months ago since you was
but six feet high!" In a word, he is within an inch of Robert and
Edward, with larger limbs; almost as handsome as Hugh, with all
the bloom of youth; and, in short, another of those comely sons
of Anak, the breed of which your brother and Lady Hertford have
piously restored for the comfort of the daughters of Sion. He is
delighted with having tapped his warfare with the siege of
Gibraltar, and burns to stride to America. The town, he says, is
totally destroyed, and between two and three hundred persons were
killed.--Well, it is a pity Lady Hertford has done breeding: we
shall want such a race to repeople even the ruins we do not lose!
The rising generation does give one some hopes. I confine myself
to some of this year's birds. The young William Pitt(431) has
again displayed paternal oratory. The other day, on the
commission of accounts, he answered Lord North, and tore him limb
from limb. If Charles Fox could feel, one should Think such a
rival, with an unspotted character, would rouse him. What, if a
Pitt and Fox should again be rivals! A still newer orator has
appeared in the India business, a Mr. Bankes,(432) and against
Lord North too; and with a merit that the very last crop of
orators left out of their rubric--modesty. As young Pitt is
modest too, one would hope some genuine English may revive!(433)

Tuesday, June 5.

This is the season of opening my cake-house. I have chosen a bad
spot, if I meant to retire; and calculated ill, when I made it a
puppet-show. Last week we had two or three mastiff-days; for
they were fiercer than our common dog-days. It is cooled again;
but rain is as great a rarity as in Egypt; and father Thames is
so far from being a Nile, that he is dying for thirst himself.
But it would be prudent to reserve paragraphs of weather till
people are gone out of town; for then I can have little to send
you else from hence.

Berkeley Square, June 6.

As soon as I came to town to-day Le Texier called on me, and told
me he has miscarried of Pygmalion. The expense would have
mounted to 150 pounds and he could get but sixty subscribers at a
guinea apiece. I am glad his experience and success have taught
him thrift. I did not expect it. Sheridan had a heavier
miscarriage last night. The two Vestris had imagined a f`ete;
and, concluding that whatever they designed would captivate the
town and its purses, were at the expense of 1200 pounds and,
distributing tickets at two guineas apiece, disposed of not two
hundred. It ended in a bad opera, that began three hours later
than usual, and at quadruple the price. There were bushels of
dead flowers, lamps, country dances--and a cold supper. Yet they
are not abused as poor Le Texier was last year.

June 8.

I conclude my letter, and I hope our present correspondence, very
agreeably; for your brother told me last night, that you have
written to Lord Hillsborough for leave to return. If all our
governors could leave their dominions in as good plight, it were
lucky. Your brother owned, what the Gazette with all its
circumstances cannot conceal, that Lord Cornwallis's triumphs
have but increased our losses, without leaving any hopes. I am
told that his army, which when he parted from Clinton amounted to
seventeen thousand men, does not now contain above as many
hundred, except the detachments. The Gazette, to my sorrow and
your greater sorrow, speaks of Colonel O'Hara having received two
dangerous wounds. Princess Amelia was at Marlborough-house last
night, and played at faro till twelve o'clock. There ends the
winter campaign! I go to Strawberry-hill to-morrow; and I hope,
a l'Irlandaise, that the next letter I write to you will be not
to write to you any more.

(430) Lord George Seymour Conway, seventh son of Francis, first
Earl and Marquis of Hertford; born 1763.-E.

(431) The young William Pitt," afterwards, as Walpole
anticipated, the proud rival of Charles Fox, and for so long a
period the prime-minister of England, delivered his maiden speech
in the House of Commons, on the 26th of February, in favour of
Mr. Burke's bill for an economical reform in the civil list.
"Never," says his preceptor, Bishop Tomline, "were higher
expectations formed of any person upon his first coming into
Parliament, and never were expectations more completely answered.
They were, indeed, much more than answered; such were the fluency
and accuracy of language, such the perspicuity of arrangement,
and such the closeness of reasoning, and manly and dignified
elocution,--generally, even in a much less degree, the fruits of
long habit and experience,--that it could scarcely be believed to
be the first speech of a young man not yet two-and-twenty. On
the following day, knowing my anxiety upon every subject which
related to him, Mr. Pitt, with his accustomed kindness, wrote to
me at Cambridge, to inform me that 'he had heard his own voice in
the House of Commons,' and modestly expressed his satisfaction at
the manner in which his first attempt at parliamentary speaking
had been received."-E.