Books: Letters of Horace Walpole, V4

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I am quite satisfied with all you tell me about my friend. My
intention is certainly to see her again, if I am able; but I am
too old to lay plans, especially when it depends on the despot
gout to register or cancel them. It is even melancholy to see
her, when it will probably be but once more; and still more
melancholy, when we ought to say to one another, in a different
sense from the common, au revoir! However, as mine is a pretty
cheerful kind of philosophy, I think the best way is to think
of dying, but to talk and act as if one was not to die; or else
one tires other people, and dies before one's time. I have
truly all the affection and attachment for her that she
deserves from me, or I should not be so very thankful as I am
for your kindness to her. The Choiseuls will certainly return
at Christmas, and will make her life much more agreeable. The
Duchess has as much attention to her as I could have; but that
will not keep me from making her a visit.

I have only seen, not known, the younger Madame de Boufflers.
For her musical talents, I am little worthy of them-yet I am
just going to Lady Bingham's to hear the Bastardella, whom,
though the first singer in Italy, Mrs. Yates could not or would
not agree with,(166) and she is to have twelve hundred pounds
for singing twelve times at the Pantheon, where, if she had a
voice as loud as Lord Clare's, she could not be heard. The two
bon-mots You sent me are excellent; but, alas! I had heard them
both before; consequently your own, which is very good too,
pleased me much more. M. de Stainville I think you will not
like: he has sense, but has a dry military harshness, that at
least did not suit me--and then I hate his barbarity to his
Wife.(167)

You was very lucky indeed to get one of the sixty tickets.(168)
Upon the whole, your travels have been very fortunate, and the
few mortifications amply compensated. If a Duke(169) has been
spiteful when your back was turned, a hero-king has been all
courtesy. If another King has been silent, an emperor has been
singularly gracious- -Frowns or silence may happen to anybody:
the smiles have been addressed to you particularly. So was the
ducal frown indeed-but would you have earned a smile at the
price set on it? One cannot do right and be always applauded--
but in such cases are not frowns tantamount?

As my letter will not set forth till the day after to-morrow, I
reserve the rest for my additional news, and this time will
reserve it.

St. Parliament's day, 29th, after breakfast.

The speech is said to be firm, and to talk of the
rebellion(170) of our province of Massachusetts. No sloop is
yet arrived to tell us how to call the rest. Mr. Van(171) is
to move for the expulsion of Wilkes; which will distress, and
may produce an odd scene. Lord Holland is certainly dead; the
papers say, Robinson too, but that I don't know--so many deaths
of late make report kill to right and left.

(161) Two rival Eloges of Fontenelle, by ChamPfort and La
Harpe.-E.

(162) A cant phrase of Mr. Walpole's; which took its rise from
the following story:--The tutor of a young Lord Castlecomer,
who lived at Twickenham with his mother, having broken his leg,
and somebody pitying the poor man to Lady Castlecomer, she
replied, "Yes indeed, it is very inconvenient to my Lord
Castlecomer."-E.

(163) Dr. James Johnson.-E.

(164) The seizure of Fort William and Mary, near Portsmouth, in
New Hampshire, by the provincial militia, in which they found
many barrels of gunpowder, several pieces of cannon, etc.-E.

(165) Augustus Hervey, to whom she was first married.

(166) Mrs. Yates was at this time joint manager of the Opera
with Mrs. Brook. In November 1773, she spoke a Poetical
exordium, by which it appeared that she intended mixing plays
with operas, and entertaining the public with singing and
declamation alternately; but permission could not be obtained
from the Lord Chamberlain to put this plan into execution.-E.

(167) Upon a suspicion OF gallantry with Clairval, an actor,
she was confined for life in the convent Of les filles de
Sainte Marie, at Nancy.-E.

(168) To see the Lit de Justice held by Louis XVI. when he
recalled the Parliament of Paris, at the instigation of the
Chancellor Maupeou, and suppressed the new one of their
creation.

(169) The Duke de Choiseul.

(170) The King's Speech announced, "that a most daring spirit
of resistance and disobedience to the law still unhappily
prevailed in the province of Massachusett's Bay;" and expressed
the King's "firm and steadfast resolution to withstand every
attempt to weaken or impair the supreme authority Of this
legislature over all the dominions of his crown: the
maintenance of which he considered as essential to the dignity,
the safety, and welfare of the British empire."-E.

(171) Charles Van, Esq. member for Brecon town. No motion for
the expulsion of Wilkes took place.-E.

Letter 82 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Arlington Street, Dec. 15, 1774. (page 118)

As I wrote to Lady Ailesbury but on Tuesday, I should not have
followed it so soon with this, if I had nothing to tell you but
of myself. My gouts are never dangerous, and the shades of
them not important. However, to despatch this article at once,
I will tell you, that the, pain I felt yesterday in my elbow
made me think all former pain did not deserve the name.
Happily the torture did not last above two hours; and, which is
more surprising, it is all the real pain I have felt; for
though my hand has been as sore as if flayed, and that both
feet are lame, the bootikins demonstrably prevent or extract
the sting of it, and I see no reason not to expect to get out
in a fortnight more. Surely, if I am laid up but one month in
two years, instead of five or six, I have reason to think the
bootikins sent from heaven.

The long expected sloop is arrived at last, and is indeed a man
of war! The General Congress have voted a non-importation, a
non-exportation, a non-consumption; that, in case of
hostilities committed by the troops at Boston, the several
provinces will march to the assistance of their countrymen;
that the cargoes of ships now at sea shall be sold on their
arrival, and the money arising thence given to the poor at
Boston.; that a letter, in the nature of a petition of rights,
shall be sent to the King; another to the House of Commons; a
third to the people of England; a demand of repeal of all the
acts of Parliament affecting North America passed during this
reign, as also of the Quebec-bill: and these resolutions not to
be altered till such repeal is obtained.

Well, I believe you do not regret being neither in parliament
nor in administration! As you are an idle man, and have
nothing else to do, you may sit down and tell one a remedy for
all this. Perhaps you will give yourself airs, and say you was
a prophet, and that prophets are not honoured in their own
country. Yet, if you have any inspiration about you, I assure
you it will be of great service-we are at our wit's end-which
was no great journey. Oh! you conclude Lord Chatham's crutch
will be supposed a wand, and be sent for. They might as well
send for my crutch; and they should not have it; the stile is a
little too high to help them over. His Lordship is a little
fitter for raising a storm than laying one, and of late seems
to have lost both virtues. The Americans at least have acted
like men,(172) gone to the"bottom at once, and set the whole
upon the whole. Our conduct has been that of pert children: we
have thrown a pebble at a mastiff, and are surprised that it
was not frightened. Now we must kill the guardian of the house
which will be plundered the moment little master has nothing
but the old nurse to defend it. But I have done with
reflections; you will be fuller of them than I.

(172) "I have not words to express my satisfaction," says Lord
Chatham in a letter of the 24th, "that the Congress has
conducted this most arduous and delicate business with such
manly Wisdom and calm resolution, as do the highest honour to
their deliberations. Very few are the things contained in
their resolves, that I could wish had been otherwise."
Correspondence, vol. ii, p. 368.-$.

Letter 83 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Arlington Street, Dec. 26, 1774. (page 119)

I begin my letter to-day, to prevent the fatigue of dictating
two to-morrow. In the first and best place, I am very near
recovered; that is, though still a mummy, I have no pain left,
nor scarce any sensation of gout except in my right hand, which
is still in complexion and shape a lobster's claw. Now, unless
any body can prove to me that three weeks are longer than five
months and a half, they will hardly convince me that the
bootikins are not a cure for fits of the gout and a Very short
cure, though they cannot prevent it: nor perhaps is it to be
wished they should; for, if the gout prevents every thing else,
would not one have something that does? I have but one single
doubt left about the bootikins, which is, whether they do not
weaken my breast: but as I am sensible that my own spirits do
half the mischief, and that, if I could have held my tongue,
and kept from talking and dictating letters, I should not have
been half so bad as I have been, there remains but half due to
bootikins on the balance: and surely the ravages of the last
long fit, and two years more in age, ought to make another
deduction. Indeed, my forcing myself to dictate my last letter
to you almost killed me; and since the gout is not dangerous to
me, if I am kept perfectly quiet, my good old friend must have
patience, and not insist upon letters from me but when it is
quite easy to me to send them. So much for me and my gout. I
will now endeavour to answer such parts of your last letters as
I can in this manner, and considering how difficult it is to
read your writing in a dark room.

I have not yet been able to look into the French harangues you
sent me. Voltaire's verses to Robert Covelle are not only very
bad, but very contemptible.

I am delighted with all the honours you receive, and with all
the amusements they procure you, which is the best part of
honours. For the glorious part, I am always like the man in
Pope's Donne,

"Then happy he who shows the tombs, said I."

That is, they are least troublesome there. The
serenissime(173) you met at Montmorency is one of the least to
my taste; we quarrelled about Rousseau, and I never went near
him after my first journey. Madame du Deffand will tell you
the story, if she has not forgotten it.

It is supposed here, that the new proceedings of the French
Parliament will produce great effects: I don't suppose any such
thing. What America will produce I know still less; but
certainly something very serious. The merchants have summoned
a meeting for the second of next month, and the petition from
the Congress to the King is arrived. The heads have been shown
to Lord Dartmouth; but I hear one of the agents is again
presenting it; yet it is thought it will be delivered, and then
be ordered to be laid before Parliament. The whole affair has
already been talked of there on the army and navy-days; and
Burke, they say, has shone with amazing Wit and ridicule on the
late inactivity of Gage, and his losing his cannon and straw;
on his being entrenched in a town with an army of observation;
with that army being, as Sir William Meredith had said, an
asylum for magistrates, and to secure the port. Burke said, he
had heard of an asylum for debtors and whores, never for
magistrates; and of ships never of armies securing a port.
This is all there has been in Parliament, but elections.
Charles Fox's place did not come into question. Mr. * * *, who
is one of the new elect, has opened, but with no success.
There is a seaman, Luttrell,(174) that promises much better.

I am glad you like the Duchess de Lauzun:(175) she is one of my
favourites. The H`otel du Chatelet promised to be very fine,
but was not finished when I was last at Paris. I was much
pleased with the person that slept against St. Lambert's poem:
I wish I had thought of the nostrum, when Mr. Seward, a
thousand years ago, at Lyons, would read an epic poem to me
just as I had received a dozen letters from England. St.
Lambert is a great Jackanapes, and a very tiny genius: I
suppose the poem was The Seasons, which is four fans spun out
into a Georgic. If I had not been too ill, I should have
thought of bidding you hear midnight mass on Christmas-eve in
Madame du Deffand's tribune, as I used to do. To be sure, you
know that her apartment was part of Madame du Montespan's,
whose arms are on the back of the grate in Madame du Deffand's
own bedchamber. Apropos, ask her to show you Madame de Prie's
pinture, M. le Duc's mistress--I am very fond of it--and make
her tell you her history.(176)

I have but two or three words more. Remember my parcel of
letters from Madame du Deffand,(177) and pray remember this
injunction not to ruin yourselves in bringing presents. A very
slight fairing of a guinea or two obliges as much,
is much more fashionable, and not a moment sooner forgotten
than a magnificent one; and then you may very cheaply oblige
the more persons; but as the sick fox, in Gay's Fables, says
(for one always excepts oneself),

"A chicken too might do me good."

i allow you to go as far as three or even five guineas for a
snuff-box for me; and then, as ***** told the King, when he
asked for the reversion of the lighthouse for two lives, and
the King reproached him, with having always advised him against
granting reversions; he replied, "Oh! Sir, but if your Majesty
will give me this, I will take care you shall never give away
another." Adieu, with my own left hand.

(173) The Prince de Conti.

(174) The Hon. James Luttrell, fourth son of Lord Irnham, a
lieutenant in the navy.-E.

(175) She became Duchesse de Biron upon the death of her
husband's uncle, the Marechal Duke de Biron. See vol. iii.,
Letter to John Montagu, Feb. 4, 1766, letter 294. Her person
is thus described by Rousseau:--"Am`elie de Boufflers a une
figure, une douceur, une timidit`e devierge: rien de plus
aimable et de plus int`eressant que sa figure; rien de plus
tendre et de plus chaste que
les sentiments qu'elle inspire."-E.

(176) Madame de Prie was the mistress of the Regent Duke of
Orleans. A full account of her family, character, etc. will be
found in Duclos's Memoirs.-E.

(177) At Walpole's earnest solicitation, Madame du Deffand
returned by General Conway all the letters she had received
from him. In so doing, she thus wrote to him:--"Vous aurez
longtemps de quoi allumer votre feu, surtout si vous joignez `a
ce que j'avais de vous avez de moi, et rien ne serait plus
juste: mais je m'en rapporte `a votre prudence; je ne suivrai
pas l'exemple de m`efiance que vous me donnez."-E.

Letter 84 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Arlington Street, Dec. 31, 1774. (page 121)

No child was ever so delighted to go into breeches, as I was
this morning to get on a pair of cloth shoes as big as Jack
Harris's: this joy may be the spirits of dotage-but what
signifies whence one is happy? Observe, too, that this is
written with my own right hand, with the bootikin actually upon
it, which has no distinction of fingers: so I no longer see any
miracle in Buckinger, who was famous for writing without hands
or feet; as it was indifferent which one uses, provided one has
a pair of either. Take notice, I write so much better without
fingers than with, that I advise you to try a bootikin. To be
sure, the operation is a little slower; but to a prisoner, the
duration of his amusement is of far more consequence than the
vivacity of it.

Last night I received your very kind, I might say your letter
tout court, of Christmas-day. By this time I trust you are
quite out of pain about me. My fit has been as regular as
possible; only, as if the bootikins were post-horses, it made
the grand tour of all my limbs in three weeks. If it will
always use the same expedition, I m content it should take the
journey once in two years. You must not mind my breast: it was
always the weakest part of a very weak system ; yet did not
suffer now by the gout, but in consequence of it; and would not
have been near so bad, if I could have kept from talking and
dictating letters. The moment I am out of pain, I am in high
spirits ; and though I never take any medicines, there is one
thing absolutely necessary to be put into my mouth--a gag. At
present, the town is so empty that my tongue is a sinecure.

I am well acquainted with the Biblioth`eque du Roi, and the
medals, and the prints. I spent an entire day in looking over
the English portraits, and kept the librarian without his
dinner till dark night, till I was satisfied. Though the
Choiseuls(178) will not acquaint with you, I hope their Abb`e
Barthelemil(179) is not put under the same quarantine. Besides
great learning, he has infinite wit and polissonnerie and is
one of the best kind of men in the world. As to the
grandpapa,(180) il ne nous aime pas nous autres, and has never
forgiven Lord Chatham. Though exceedingly agreeable himself, I
don't think his taste exquisite. Perhaps I was piqued; but he
seemed to like Wood better than any of US. Indeed, I am a
little afraid that my dear friend's impetuous zeal may have
been a little too prompt in pressing you upon them d'abord:--
but don't say a word of this--it is her great goodness.--I
thank you a million of times for all yours to her:-she is
perfectly grateful for it. The Chevalier'S(181) verses are
pretty enough. I own I like Saurin's(182) much better than you
seem to do. Perhaps I am prejudiced by the curse on the
Chancellor at the end.

Not a word of news here. In a sick room one hears all there
is, but I have not even a lie; but as this will not set out
these three days, it is to be hoped some charitable Christian
will tell a body one. Lately indeed we heard that the King of
Spain had abdicated; but I believe it was some stockjobber that
had deposed him.

Lord George Cavendish, for my solace in my retirement, has
given me a book, the History of his own Furness-abbey, written
by a Scotch ex-Jesuit.(183) I cannot say that this unnatural
conjunction of a Cavendish and a Jesuit has produced a lively
colt; but I found one passage worth any money. It is an
extract of a constable's journal kept during the civil war; and
ends thus: "And there was never heard of such troublesome and
distracted times as these five years have been, but especially
for constables." It is so natural, that inconvenient to my
Lord Castlecomer is scarce a better proverb.

Pray tell Lady Ailesbury that though she has been so very good
to me, I address my letters to you rather than to her, because
my pen is not always-upon its guard, but is apt to say whatever
comes into its nib; and then, if she peeps over your shoulder,
I am cens`e not to know it. Lady Harriet's wishes have done me
great good: nothing but a father's gout could be obdurate
enough to resist them. My Mrs. Damer says nothing to me; but I
give her intentions credit, and lay her silence on you.

January 1. 1775. a happy new year!

I walk! I walk! walk alone!--I have been five times quite
round my rooms to-day, and my month is not up! The day after
to-morrow I shall go down into the dining-room; the next week
to take the air: and then if Mrs. * * * * is very pressing,
why, I don't know what may happen. Well! but you want news,
there are none to be had. They think there is a ship lost with
Gage's despatches. Lady Temple gives all her diamonds to Miss
Nugent.(184) Lord Pigot lost 400 pounds the other night at
Princess Amelia's. Miss Davis(185) has carried her cause
against Mrs. Yates and is to sing again at the Opera. This is
all my coffee-house furnished this morning.

(178) Mr. Conway and the ladies of his party had met with the
most flattering and distinguished reception at Paris from every
body but the Duc and Duchesse de Choiseul, who rather seemed to
decline their acquaintance.

(179) The author of the Voyage du Jenne Anacharsis.

(180) A name given to the Duc de Choiseul by Madame du Deffand.

(181) Verses written by the Chevalier de Boufflers, to be
presented by Madame du Deffand to the Duke and Duchess of
Choiseul.

(182) They were addressed to M. do Malesherbes, then premier
president de la Cour des Aides; afterwards, still more
distinguished by his having been the intrepid advocate Selected
by the unfortunate Louis the Sixteenth on his trial. He soon
after perished by the same guillotine, from which he could not
preserve his ill-fated master-E.

(183) "The Antiquities of Furness; or
an account of the Royal Abbey of St. mary, in the vale Of
Nightshade, near Dalton, in Furness." London, 1774 4to. This
volume, which was dedicated to Lord George Cavendish, Was
written by Thomas West, the antiquary, who was likewise the
author of "A Guide to the Lakes in Cumberland, Westmoreland,
and Lancashire."-E.

(184) Mary, only daughter and heiress
of Robert Earl Nugent, of the kingdom of Ireland. She was
married, on the 16th of May, 1775, to George Grenville, second
Earl Temple, who then assumed, by royal permission, the
surnames of Nugent and Temple before that of Grenville, and the
privilege of signing Nugent before all titles whatsoever. In
1784, he was created Marquis of Buckingham.-E.

(185) Cecilia Davis known in Italy by the name of L'Inglesina,
first appeared at the
Opera in 1773.
She was considered on the Continent as second only to Gabrieli,
and in England is said to have been surpassed only by Mrs.
Billington. She was a pupil of the celebrated Hasse and, after
having taught several crowned heads, died at an advanced age,
and in very distressed circumstances, in 1836.-E.

Letter 85To The Rev. Mr. Cole.
Arlington Street, Jan. 9, 1775. (page 124)

I every day intended to thank you for the copy of Nell Gwyn's
letter, till it was too late; the gout came, and Made me moult
my goosequill. The letter is very curious, and I am as well
content as with the original. It is lucky you do not care for
news more recent Than the Reformation. I should have none to
tell you; nay, nor earlier neither. Mr. Strutt's(186) second
volume I suppose you have seen. He showed me two or three much
better drawings from pictures in the possession of Mr. Ives.
One of them made me very happy; it is a genuine portrait of
Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester, and is the individual same face
as that I guessed to be his in my Marriage of Henry VI. They
are infinitely more like each other, than any two modern
portraits of one person by different painters. I have been
laughed at for thinking the skull of Duke Humphrey at St.
Albans proved my guess; and yet it certainly does, and is the
more like, as the two portraits represent him very bald, with
only a ringlet of hair, as monks have. Mr. Strutt is going to
engrave his drawings. Yours faithfully.

(186) His " Complete Views of the Manners, Customs, Arms,
Habits, etc. of the Inhabitants of England from the arrival of
the Saxons till the reign of Henry the VIII.; with a short
Account of the Britons during the Government of the Romans."-E.

Letter 86 To The Hon. H. S. Conway.
Arlington Street, Jan, 15, 1775. (page 124)

You have made me very happy by saying your journey to Naples is
laid aside. Perhaps it made too great an impression on me; but
you must reflect, that all my life I have satisfied myself with
your being perfect, instead of trying to be so myself. I don't
ask you to return, though I wish it: in truth there is nothing
to invite you. I don't want you to come and breathe fire and
sword against the Bostonians, like that second Duke of Alva,
the inflexible Lord George Germain; or to anathematize the
court and its works, like the incorruptible Burke, who scorns
lucre, except when he can buy a hundred thousand acres from
naked Caribs for a song. I don't want you to do any thing like
a party-man. I trust you think of every party as I do, with
contempt, from Lord Chatham's mustard-bowl down to Lord
Rockingham's hartshorn. All, perhaps, will be tried in their
turns, and yet, if they had genius, might not be Mighty enough
to save us. From some ruin or other I think nobody can, and
what signifies an option of mischiefs? An account is come of
the Bostonians having voted an army of sixteen thousand men,
who are to be called minute-men, as they are to be ready at a
minute's warning. Two directors or commissioners, I don't know
what they are called, are appointed. There has been too a kind
of mutiny in the fifth regiment. A soldier was found drunk on
his post. Gage, in his time of danger, thought vigour
necessary, and sent the fellow to a court-martial. They
ordered two hundred lashes. The general ordered them to
improve their sentence. Next day it was published in the
Boston Gazette. He called them before him, and required them
on oath to abjure the communication, three officers refused.
Poor Gage is to be scape-goat, not for this, but for what was a
reason against employing him, incapacity. I Wonder at the
precedent! Howe is talked of for his successor. Well, I have
done with you!--Now I shall go gossip with Lady Ailesbury