Books: Quo Vadis A Narrative of the Time of Nero

H >> Henryk Sienkiewicz >> Quo Vadis A Narrative of the Time of Nero

Pages:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46

At this thought it grew dark in his eyes, and drops of sweat covered
his forehead. In that case Lygia was lost to him forever. It was
possible to wrest her from the hands of any one else, but not from
the hands of Caesar. Now, with greater truth than ever, could he
exclaim, "Vaqe misere mihi!" His imagination represented Lygia
in Nero's arms, and, for the first time in life, he understood that
there are thoughts which are simply beyond man's endurance. He
knew then, for the first time, how he loved her. As his whole life
flashes through the memory of a drowning man, so Lygia began to
pass through his. Fle saw her, heard every word of hers, -- saw her
at the fountain, saw her at the house of Aulus, and at the feast; felt
her near him, felt the odor of her hair, the warmth of her body, the
delight of the kisses which at the feast he had pressed on her
innocent lips. She seemed to him a hundred times sweeter, more
beautiful, more desired than ever, -- a hundred times more the only
one, the one chosen from among all mortals and divinities. And
when he thought that all this which had become so fixed in his
heart, which had become his blood and life, might be possessed by
Nero, a pain seized him, which was purely physical, and so
piercing that he wanted to beat his head against the wall of the
atrium, until he should break it. He felt that he might go mad; and
he would have gone mad beyond doubt, had not vengealice
remained to him. But as hitherto he had thought that he could not
live unless he got Lygia, he thought now that he would not die till
he had avenged her. This gave him a certain kind of comfort. '~I
will be thy Cassius Chaerea!"' said he to himself in thinking of
Nero. After a while, seizing earth in his hands from the flower
vases surrounding the impluvium, he made a dreadful vow to
Erebus, Hecate, and his own household lares, that he would have
vengeance.

And he received a sort of consolation. He had at least something to
live for and something with which to fill his nights and days. Then,
dropping his idea of visiting Aulus, he gave command to bear him
to the Palatine. Along the way he concluded that if they would not
admit him to Caesar, or if they should try to find weapons on his
person, it would be a proof that Caesar had taken Lygia. He had no
weapons with him. He had lost presence of mind in general; but as
is usual with persons possessed by a single idea, he preserved it in
that which concerned his revenge. He did not wish his desire of
revenge to fall away prematurely. He wished above all to see Acte,
for he expected to learn the truth from her. At moments the hope
flashed on him that he might see Lygia also, and at that thought he
began to tremble. For if Caesar had carried her away without
knowledge of whom he was taking, he might return her that day.
But after a while he cast aside this supposition. Had there been a
wish to return her to him, she would have been sent yesterday.
Acte was the only person who could explain everything, and there
was need to see her before others.

Convinced of this, he commanded the slaves to hasten; and along
the road he thought without order, now of Lygia, now of revenge.
He had heard that Egyptian priests of the goddess Pasht could
bring disease on whomever they wished, and he determined to
learn the means of doing this. In the Orient they had told him, too,
that Jews have certain invocations by which they cover their
enemies' bodies with ulcers. He had a number of Jews among his
domestic slaves; hence he promised himself to torture them on his
return till they divulged the secret. He found most delight,
however, in thinking of the short Roman sword which lets out a
stream of blood such as had gushed from Caius Caligula and made
ineffaceable stains on the columns of the portico. He was ready to
exterminate all Rome; and had vengeful gods promised that all
people should die except him and Lygia, he would have accepted
the promise.

In front of the arch he regained presence of mind, and thought
when he saw the pretorian guard, "If they make the least difficulty
in admitting me, they will prove that Lygia is in the palace by the
will of Caesar."

But the chief centurion smiled at him in a friendly manner, then
advanced a number of steps, and said, -- "A greeting, noble
tribune. If thou desire to give an obeisance to Caesar, thou hast
found an unfortunate moment. I do not think that thou wilt be able
to see him."

"What has happened?" inquired Vinicius.

"The infant Augusta fell ill yesterday on a sudden. Caesar and the
august Poppsea are attending her, with physicians whom they have
summoned from the whole city."

This was an important event. When that daughter was born to him,
Caesar was simply wild from delight, and received her with extra
humanism gaudium. Previously the senate had committed the
womb of Poppae to the gods with the utmost solemnity. A votive
offering was made at Antium, where the delivery took place;
splendid games were celebrated, and besides a temple was erected
to the two Fortunes. Nero, unable to be moderate in anything,
loved the infant beyond measure; to Poppae the child was dear
also, even for this, that it strengthened her position and made her
influence irresistible.

The fate of the whole empire might depend on the health and life
of the infant Augusta; but Vinicius was so occupied with himself,
his own case and his love, that without paying attention to the
news of the centurion he answered, "I only wish to see Acte." And
he passed in.

But Acte was occupied also near the child, and he had to wait a
long time to see her. She came only about midday, with a face pale
and wearied, which grew paler still at sight of Vinicius.

"Acre!" cried Vinicius, seizing her hand and drawing her to the
middle of the atrium, "where is Lygia?"

"I wanted to ask thee touching that," answered she, looking him in
the eyes with reproach.

But though he had promised himself to inquire of her calmly, he
pressed his head with his hands again, and said, with a face
distorted by pain and anger, -- "She is gone. She was taken from
me on the way!"

After a while, however, he recovered, and thrusting his face up to
Acte's, said through his set teeth, -- "Acte! If life be dear to thee, if
thou wish not to cause misfortunes which

thou are unable even to imagine, answer me truly. Did Caesar take
her?" "Caesar did not leave the palace yesterday."

"By the shade of thy mother, by all the gods, is she not in the
palace?"

"By the shade of my mother, Marcus, she is not in the palace, and
Caesar did not intercept her. The infant Augusta is ill since
yesterday, and Nero has not left her cradle."

Vinicius drew breath. That which had seemed the most terrible
ceased to threaten him.

"Ah, then," said he, sitting on the bench and clinching his fists,
"Aulus intercepted her, and in that case woe to him!"

"Aulus Plautius was here this morning. He could not see me, for I
was occupied with the child; but he inquired of Epaphroditus, and
others of Caesar's servants, touching Lygia, and told them that he
would come again to see me."

"He wished to turn suspicion from himself. If he knew not what
happened, he would have come to seek Lygia in my house."

"He left a few words on a tablet, from which thou wilt see that,
knowing Lygia to have been taken from his house by Caesar, at thy
request and that of Petronius, he expected that she would be sent to
thee, and this morning early he was at thy house, where they told
him what had happened."

When she had said this, she went to the cubiculum and returned
soon with the tablet which Aulus had left.

Vinicius read the tablet, and was silent; Acte seemed to read the
thoughts on his gloomy face, for she said after a while, -- "No,
Marcus. That has happened which Lygia herself wished." "It was
known to thee that she wished to flee!" burst out Vinicius. "I knew
that she would not become thy concubine." And she looked at him
with her misty eyes almost sternly. "And thou, -- what hast thou
been all thy life?" "I was a slave, first of all."

But Vinicius did not cease to be enraged. Caesar had given him
Lygia; hence he had no need to inquire what she had been before.
He would find her, even under the earth, and he would do what he
liked with her. He would indeed! She should be his concubine. He
would give command to flog her as often as he pleased. If she
grew distasteful to him, he would give her to the lowest of his
slaves, or he would command her to turn a handmill on his lands in
Africa. He would seek her out now, and find her only to bend her,
to trample on her, and conquer her.

And, growing more and more excited, he lost every sense of
measure, to the degree that even Acte saw that he was promising
more than he could execute; that he was talking because of pain
and anger. She might have had even compassion on him, but his
extravagance exhausted her patience, and at last she inquired why
he had come to her.

Vinieius did not find an answer immediately. He had come to her
because he wished to come, because he judged that she would give
him information; but really he had come to Caesar, and, not being
able to see him, he came to her. Lygia, by fleeing, opposed the will
of Caesar; hence he would implore him to give an order to search
for her throughout the city and the empire, even if it came to using
for that purpose all the legions, and to ransacking in turn every
house within Roman dominion. Petronius would support his
prayer, and the search would begin from that day.

"Have a care," answered Acte, "lest thou lose her forever the
moment she is found, at command of Ciesar."

Vinicius wrinkled his brows. "What does that mean?" inquired he.

"Listen to me, Marcus. Yesterday Lygia and I were in the gardens
here, and we met Popp~ra, with the infant Augusta, borne by an
African woman, Liith. In the evening the child fell ill, and Liith
insists that she was bewitched; that that foreign woman whom they
met in the garden bewitched her. Should the child recover, they
will forget this, but in the opposite case Poppae will be the first to
accuse Lygia of witchcraft, and wherever she is found there will be
no rescue for her."

A moment of silence followed; then Vinicius said, -- "But perhaps
she did bewitch her, and has bewitched me."

"Lilith repeats that the child began to cry the moment she carried
her past us. And really the child did begin to cry. It is certain that
she was sick when they took her out of the garden. Marcus, seek
for Lygia whenever it may please thee, but till the infant Augusta
recovers, speak not of her to Caesar, or thou wilt bring on her
Poppaea's vengeance. Her eyes have wept enough because of thee
already, and may all the gods guard her poor head."

"Dost thou love her, Acte?" inquired Vinicius, gloomily.

"Yes, I love her." And tears glittered in the eyes of the
freedwoman.

"Thou lovest her because she has not repaid thee with hatred, as
she has me." Acre looked at him for a time as if hesitating, or as if
wishing to learn if he spoke sincerely; then she said, -- "O blind
and passionate man -- she loved thee." Vinicius sprang up under
the influence of those words, as if possessed. "It is not true."

She hated him. How could Acte know? Would Lygia make a
confession to her after one day's acquaintance? What love is that
which prefers wandering, the disgrace of poverty, the uncertainty
of to-morrow, or a shameful death even, to a wreath-bedecked
house, in which a lover is waiting with a feast? It is better for him
not to hear such things, for he is ready to go mad. He would not
have given that girl for all Caesar's treasures, and she fled. What
kind of love is that which dreads delight and gives pain? Who can
understand it? Who can fathom it? Were it not for the hope that he
should find her, he would sink a sword in himself. Love
surrenders; it does not take away. There were moments at the
house of Aulus when he himself believed in near happiness, but
now he knows that she hated him, that she hates him, and will die
with hatred in her heart.

But Acte, usually mild and timid, burst forth in her turn with
indignation. How had he tried to win Lygia? Instead of bowing
before Aulus and Pomponia to get her, he took the child away
from her parents by stratagem. He wanted to make, not a wife, but
a concubine of her, the foster daughter of an honorable house, and
the daughter of a king. He had her brought to this abode of crime
and infamy; he defiled her innocent eyes with the sight of a
shameful feast; he acted with her as with a wanton. Had he
forgotten the house of Aulus and Pomponia Graecina, who had
reared Lygia? Had he not sense enough to understand that there are
women different from Nigidia or Calvia Crispinilla or Poppae, and
from all those whom he meets in Caesar's house? Did he not
understand at once on seeing Lygia that she is an honest maiden,
who prefers death to infamy? Whence does he know what kind of
gods she worships, and whether they are not purer and better than
the wanton Venus, or than Isis, worshipped by the profligate
women of Rome? No! Lygia had made no confession to her, but
she had said that she looked for rescue to him, to Vinicius: she had
hoped that he would obtain for her permission from Caesar to
return home, that he would restore her to Pomponia. And while
speaking of this, Lygia blushed like a maiden who loves and trusts.
Lygia's heart beat for him; but he, Vinicius, had terrified and
offended her; had made her indignant; let him seek her now with
the aid of Caesar's soldiers, but let him know that should Poppaea's
child die, suspicion will fall on Lygia, whose destruction will then
be inevitable.

Emotion began to force its way through the anger and pain of
Vinicius. The information that he was loved by Lygia shook him to
the depth of his soul. He remembered her in Aulus's garden, when
she was listening to his words with blushes on her face and her
eyes full of light. It seemed to him ~hen that she had begun to love
him; and all at once, at that thought, a feeling of certain happiness
embraced him, a hundred times greater than that which he desired.
He thought that he might have won her gradually, and besides as
one loving him. She would have wreathed his door, rubbed it with
wolf's fat, and then sat as his wife by his hearth on the sheepskin.
He would have heard from her mouth the sacramental: "Where
thou art, Caius, there am I, Caia." And she would have been his
forever. Why did he not act thus? True, he had been ready so to
act. But now she is gone, and it may be impossible to find her; and
should he find her, perhaps he will cause her death, and should he
not cause her death, neither she nor Aulus nor Pomponia Graecina
will favor him. Here anger raised the hair on his head again; but
his anger turned now, not against the house of Aulus, or Lygia, but
against Petronius. Petronius was to blame for everything. Had it
not been for him Lygia would not have been forced to wander; she
would be his betrothed, and no danger would be hanging over her
dear head. But now all is past, and it is too late to correct the evil
which will not yield to correction.

"Too late!" And it seemed to him that a gulf had opened before his
feet. He did not know what to begin, how to proceed, whither to
betake himself. Acte repeated as an echo the words, "Too late,"
which from another's mouth sounded like a death sentence. He
understood one thing, however, that he must find Lygia, or
something evil would happen to him.

And wrapping himself mechanically in his toga, he was about to
depart without taking farewell even of Acte, when suddenly the
curtain separating the entrance from the atrium was pushed aside,
and he saw before him the pensive figure of Pomponia Gnecina.

Evidently she too had heard of the disappearance of Lygia, and,
judging that she could see Acte more easily than Aulus, had conic
for news to her.

But, seeing Vinicius, she turned her pale, delicate face to him, and
said, after a pause, -- "May God forgive thee the wrong, Marcus,
which thou hast done to us and to Lygia."

He stood with drooping head, with a feeling of misfortune and
guilt, not understanding what God was to forgive him or could
forgive him. Pomponia had no cause to mention forgiveness; she
ought to have spoken of revenge.

At last he went out with a head devoid of counsel, full of grievous
thoughts, immense care, and amazement.

In the court and under the gallery were crowds of anxious people.
Among slaves of the palace were knights and senators who had
come to inquire about the health of the infant, and at the same time
to show themselves in the palace, and exhibit a proof of their
anxiety, even in presence of Nero's slaves. News of the illness of
the "divine" had spread quickly it was evident, for new forms
appeared in the gateway every moment, and through the opening
of the arcade whole crowds were visible. Some of the newly
arrived, seeing that Vinicius was coming from the palace, attacked
him for news; but he hurried on without answering their questions,
till Petronius, who had come for news too, almost struck his breast
and stopped him.

Beyond doubt Vinicius would have become enraged at sight of
Petronius, and let himself do some lawless act in Caesar's palace,
had it not been that when he had left Acte he was so crushed, so
weighed down and exhausted, that for the moment even his innate
irascibility had left him. He pushed Petronius aside and wished to
pass; but the other detained him, by force almost.

"How is the divine infant?" asked he.

But this constraint angered Vinicius a second time, and roused his
indignation in an instant.

"May Hades swallow her and all this house!" said he, gritting his
teeth.

"Silence, hapless man!" said Petronius, and looking around he
added hurriedly, -- "If thou wish to know something of Lygia,
come with me; I will tell nothing here! Come with me; I will tell
my thoughts in the litter."

And putting his arm around the young tribune, he conducted him
from the palace as quickly as possible. That was his main concern,
for he had no news whatever; but being a man of resources, and
having, in spite of his indignation of yesterday, much sympathy for
Vinicius, and finally feeling responsible for all that had happened,
he had undertaken something already, and when they entered the
litter he said, -- "I have commanded my slaves to watch at every
gate. I gave them an accurate description of the girl, and that giant
who bore her from the feast at Caesar's, -- for he is the man,
beyond doubt, who intercepted her. Listen to me: Perhaps Aulus
and Pomponia wish to secrete her in some estate of theirs; in that
case we shall learn the direction in which they took her. If my
slaves do not see her at some gate, we shall know that she is in the
city yet, and shall begin this very day to search in Rome for her."

"Aulus does not know where she is," answered Vinicius. "Art thou
sure of that?"

"I saw Pomponia. She too is looking for her."

"She could not leave the city yesterday, for the gates are closed at
night.

Two of my people are watching at each gate. One is to follow
Lygia and the giant, the other to return at once and inform me. If
she is in the city, we shall find her, for that Lygian is easily
recognized, even by his stature and his shoulders. Thou art lucky
that it was not C~zsar who took her, and I can assure thee that he
did not, for there are no secrets from me on the Palatine."

But Vinicius burst forth in sorrow still more than in anger, and in a
voice broken by emotion told Petronius what he had heard from
Acte, and what new dangers were threatening Lygia, -- dangers so
dreadful that because of them there would be need to hide her
from Poppaea most carefully, in case they discovered her. Then he
reproached Petroruus bitterly for his counsel. Had it not been for
him, everything would have gone differently. Lygia would have
been at the house of Aulus, and he, Vinicius, might have seen her
every day, and he would have been happier at that moment than
Caesar. And carried away as he went on with his narrative, he
yielded more and more to emotion, till at last tears of sorrow and
rage began to fall from his eyes.

Petronius, who had not even thought that the young man could
love and desire to such a degree, when he saw the tears of despair
said to himself, with a certain astonishment, -- "O mighty Lady of
Cyprus, thou alone art ruler of gods and men!"

Chapter XII

WHEN they alighted in front of the arbiter's house, the chief of the
atrium answered them that of slaves sent to the gates none had
returned yet. The atriensis had given orders to take food to them,
and a new command, that under penalty of rods they were to watch
carefully all who left the city.

"Thou seest," said Petronius, "that they are in Rome, beyond doubt,
and in that case we shall find them. But command thy people also
to watch at the gates, -- those, namely, who were sent for Lygia, as
they will recognize her easily."

"I have given orders to send them to rural prisons," said Vinicius,
"but I will recall the orders at once, and let them go to the gates."

And writing a few words on a wax-covered tablet, he handed it to
Petronius, who gave directions to send it at once to the house of
Vinicius. Then they passed into the interior portico, and, sitting on
a marble bench, began to talk. The golden-haired Eunice and has
pushed bronze footstools under their feet, and poured wine for
them into goblets, out of wonderful narrow-necked pitchers from
Volaterr~ and Qecina.

"Hast thou among thy people any one who knows that giant
Lygian?" asked Petronius.

"Atacinus and Gulo knew him; but Atacinus fell yesterday at the
litter, and Gulo I killed."

"I am sorry for him," said Petronius. "He carried not only thee, but
me, in his arms."

"I intended to free him," answered Vinicius; "but do not mention
him. Let us speak of Lygia. Rome is a sea--"

"A sea is just the place where men fish for pearls. Of course we
shall not find her to-day, or to-morrow, but we shall find her
surely. Thou hast accused me just now of giving thee this method;
but the method was good in itself, and became bad only when
turned to bad. Thou hast heard from Aulus himself, that he intends
to go to Sicily with his whole family. In that case the girl would be
far from thee."

"I should follow them," said Vinicius, "and in every case she
would be out of danger; but now, if that child dies, Poppae will
believe, and will persuade Caesar, that she died because of Lygia."

"True; that alarmed me, too. But that little doll may recover.
Should she die, we shall find some way of escape."

Here Petronius meditated a while and added, -- "Poppae, it is said,
follows the religion of the Jews, and believes in evil spirits. Caesar
is superstitious. If we spread the report that evil spirits carried
off Lygia, the news will find belief, especially as neither Caesar
nor Aulus Plautius intercepted her; her escape was really
mysterious. The Lygian could not have effected it alone; he must
have had help. And where could a slave find so many people in the
course of one day?"

"Slaves help one another in Rome."

"Some person pays for that with blood at times. True, they support
one another, but not some against others. In this case it was known
that responsibility and punishment would fall on thy people. If
thou give thy people the idea of evil spirits, they will say at once
that they saw such with their own eyes, because that will justify
them in thy sight. Ask one of them, as a test, if he did not see
spirits carrying off Lygia through the air, he will swear at once by
the Aegis of Zeus that he saw them."

Vinicius, who was superstitious also, looked at Petronius with
sudden and great fear.

"If Ursus could not have men to help him, and was not able to take
her alone, who could take her?"

Petronius began to laugh.

"See," said he, "they will believe, since thou art half a believer
thyself. Such is our society, which ridicules the gods. They, too,
will believe, and they will not look for her. Meanwhile we shall
put her away somewhere far off from the city, in some villa of
mine or thine."

"But who could help her?"

"Her co-religionists," answered Petronius.

"Who are they? What deity does she worship? I ought to know that
better than thou."

"Nearly every woman in Rome honors a different one. It is almost
beyond doubt that Pomponia reared her in the religion of that deity
which she herself worships; what one she worships 1 know not.
One thing is certain, that no person has seen her make an offering
to our gods in any temple. They have accused her even of being a
Christian; but that is not possible; a domestic tribunal cleared her
of the charge. They say that Christians not only worship an ass's
head, but are enemies of the human race, and permit the foulest
crimes. Pomponia cannot be a Christian, as her virtue is known,
and an enemy of the human race could not treat slaves as she
does."

"In no house are they treated as at Aulus's," interrupted Vinicius.