Books: Quo Vadis A Narrative of the Time of Nero

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"Ocelle mi! let it be as thou sayest. Paul prefers to travel with my
people, but he is with me, and will be to me a companion and
master. Draw aside thy veil, my delight, let me see thee before my
journey. Why art thou thus hidden?"

She raised the veil, and showed him her bright face and her
wonderfully smiling eyes, inquiring, --

"Is the veil bad?"

And her smile had in it a little of maiden opposition; but Vinicius,
while looking at her with delight, answered, -- "Bad for my eyes,
which till death would look on thee only." Then he turned to Ursus
and said, -- "Ursus, guard her as the sight in thy eye, for she is my
domina as well as thine."

Seizing her hand then, he pressed it with his lips, to the great
astonishment of tlte crowd, who could not understand signs of
such honor from a brilliant Augustian to a maiden arrayed in
simple garments, almost those of a slave.

"Farewell!"

Then he departed quickly, for Caesar's whole retinue had pushed
forward considerably. The Apostle Peter blessed hini with a slight
sign of the cross; but the kindly Ursus began at once to glorify
him, glad that his young mistress listened eagerly and was grateful
to him for those praises.

The retinue moved on and hid itself in clouds of golden dust; they
gazed long after it, however, till Demas the miller apprvached, he
for whom Ursus worked in the night-time. When he had kissed the
Apostle's hand, he entreated them to enter his dwelling for
refreshment, saying that it was near thc Emporium, that they must
be hungry and wearied since they had spent the greater part of the
day at the gate.

They went with him, and, after rest and refreshment in his house,
returned to the Trans-Tiber only toward evening. Intending to
cross the river by the Aemilian bridge, they passed through the
Clivus Publicus, going over the Aventine, between the temples of
Diana and Mercury. From that height the Apostle looked on the
edifices about him, and on those vanishing in the distance. Sunk in
silence he meditated on the immensity and dominion of that city,
to which he had come to announce the word of God. Hitherto he
had seen the rule of Rome and its legions in various lands through
which he had wandered, but they were single members as it were
of the power, which that day for the first time he had seen
impersonated in the form of Nero. That city, immense, predatory,
ravenous, unrestrained, rotten to the marrow of its bones, and
unassailable in its preterhuman power; that Caesar, a fratricide, a
matricide, a wife-slayer, after him dragged a retinue of bloody
spectres no less in number than his court. That profligate, that
buffoon, but also lord of thirty legions, and through them of the
whole earths; those courtiers covered with gold and scarlet,
uncertain of the morrow, but mightier meanwhile than kings, -- all
this together seemed a species of hellish kingdom of wrong and
evil. In his simple heart he marvelled that God could give such
inconceivable almightiness to Satan, that He could yield the earth
to him to knead, overturn, and trample it, to squeeze blood and
tears from it, to twist it like a whirlwind, to storm it like a tempest,
to consume it like a flame. And his Apostle-heart was alarmed by
those thoughts, and in spirit he spoke to the Master: "O Lord, how
shall I begin in this city, to which Thou Inst sent mc? 'lo ft belong
seas and lands, the beasts of the field, and the creatures of the
water; it owns other kingdoms and cities, and thirty legions which
guard them; hut I, O Lord, am a fisherman from a lake! How shall
I begin, and how shall I conquer its malice?"

Thus speaking. he raised his gray, trembling head toward heaven,
praying and exclaiming from the depth of his heart to his Divine
Master, himself f till of sadness and fear.

Meanwhile hb prayer was interrupted by Lygia.

"The whole city is as if on fire," said she.

In fact the sun went down that day in a marvellous manner. Its
immense shield had sunk half-way behind the Janiculum, the
whole expanse of heaven was filled with a red gleam. From the
place on which they were standing, Peter's glance embraced large
expanses. Somewhat to thc right they saw the long extending
walls of the Circus Maximus; above it the towering palaces of the
Palatine; and directly in front of them, beyond the Forum Boarium
and the Velabrum, the summit of the Capitol, with the temple of
Jupiter. But the walls and the columns and the summits of the
temples were as if sunk in that golden and purple gleam. The parts
of the river visible from afar flowed as if in blood; arid as the sun
sank moment after moment behind the mountain, th‡ gleam
became redder and redder, more and more like a conflagration,
and it increased and extended till finally it embraced the seven
hills, from which it extended to the whole region about.

"The whole city seems on fire!" repeated Lygia.

Peter shaded his eyes with his hand, and said --

"The wrath of God is upon it."

1 The inhabitants of Italy were freed from military service by
Augustus, in consequence of which the so-called cohors Italica,
stationed generally in Asia, was composed of volunteers. The
pretorian guards, in so far as they were not composed of
foreigners, were made up of volunteers.

2 In the time of the Caesars a legion was always 12,000 men.

Chapter XXXVII

VINCIUS to LYGIA:

"The slave Phlegon, by whom I send this letter, is a Christian;
hence he will be one of those to receive freedom from thy hands,
my dearest. He is an old servant of our house; so I can write to thee
with full confidence, and without fear that the letter will fall into
other hands than thine. 1 write from Laurentum, where we have
halted because of heat. Otho owned here a lordly villa, which on a
time he presented to Poppaea; and she, though divorced from him,
saw fit to retain the magnificent present. When I think of the
women who surround mc now and of thee, it seems to me that
from the stones hurled by Deucalion there must have risen people
of various kinds, altogether unlike one another, and that thou art of
those born of crystal.

"I admire and love thee from my whole soul, and wIth to speak
only of thee; hence I am forced to constrain myself to write of our
journey, of that which happens to me, and of news of the court.
Well, Caesar was the guest of Poppaea, who prepared for him
secretly a magnificent reception. SIte invited only a few of his
favorites, but Petronius and I were among them. After dinner we
sailed in golden boats over the sea, which was as calm as if it had
been sleeping, and as blue as thy eyes, O divine one. We ourselves
rowed, for evidently it flattered the Augusta that men of consular
dignity, or their sons, were rowing for her. Caesar, sitting at the
rudder in a purple toga, sang a hymn in honor of the sea; this hymn
he had composed the night before, and wfth Diodorus had
arranged music to ft. In other boats he was accompanied by slaves
from India who knew how to play on sea-shells while round about
appeared numerous dolphins, as if really enticed from Amphitrite's
depths by music. Dvst thcu know what I was doing? I was thinking
of thee1 and yearning. I wanted to gather in that sea, that calm, and
that music, and give the whole to thee.

"Dost thou wish that we should live in some place at the seashore
far from Rome, my Augusta? I have land in Sicily, on which there
is an almond forest which has rose-colored blossoms in spring, and
this forest goes down so near the sea that the tips of the branches
almost touch the water. There I will love thee and magnify Paul's
teaching, for I know now that it will not be opposed to love and
happiness. Dost thou wish? -- But before I hear thy answer I will
wrfte further of what happened on the boat.

"Soon the shore was far behind. We saw a sail before us in the
distance, and all at once a dispute rose as to whether it was a
common fishing-boat or a great ship from Ostia. I was the first to
discover what it was, and then the Augusta said that for my eyes
evidently nothing was hidden, and, dropping the veil over her face
on a sudden, she inquired if I could recognize her thus.

Petronius answered immediately that it was not possible to see
even the sun behind a cloud; but she said, as if in jest, that love
alone could blind such a piercing glance as mine, and, naming
various women of the court, she fell to inquiring and guessing
which one I loved. I answered calmly, but at last she mentioned
thy name. Speaking of thee, she uncovered her face again, and
looked at me with evil and inquiring eyes.

"I feel real gratitude to Petronius, who turned the boat at that
moment, through which general attention was taken from me; for
had I heard hostile or sneering words touching thee, I should not
have been able to hide my anger, and should have had to struggle
with the wish to break the head of that wicked, malicious woman
with my oar. Thou rememberest the incident at the pond of
Agrippa ahout which 1 told thee at the house of Linus on the eve
of my departure. Petronius is alarmed on my account, and to-day
again he implored me not to offend the Augusta's vanity. But
Petronius does not understand me, and does not realize that, apart
from thee, I know no pleasure or beauty or love, and that for
Poppaea I feel only disgust and contemtipt. Thou hast changed my
soul greatly, -- so greatly that I should not wish now to return to
my former life. But have no fear that harm may reach me here.
Poppna does not love me, for she cannot love any one, and her
desires arise only from anger at Qusar, who is under her influence
yet, and who is even capable of loving her yet; still, he does not
spare her, and does not hide from her his transgressions and
shamelessness.

"I will tell thee, besides, something which should pacify thee. Peter
told me in parting not to fear Caesar, since a hair would not fall
from my head; and I believe him. Some voice in my soul says that
every word of his must be accomplished; that since he blessed our
love, neither Caesar, nor all the powers of Hades, nor
predestination itself, could take thee from me, O Lygia. When I
think of this I am as happy as if I were in heaven, wlsich alone is
calm and happy. But what I say of heaven and predestination may
offend thee, a Christian. Christ has not washed me yet, but niy
heart is like an empty chalice, which Paul of Tarsus is to fill with
the sweet doctrine professed by thee, -- the sweeter for me that ft is
thine. Thuu, divine one, count even this as a merit to me that I
have emptied it of the liquid with which I had filled it before, and
that I do not withdraw it, but hold it forth as a thirsty man standing
at a pure spring. Let me find favor in thy eyes.

"In Antium my days and nights will pass in listening to Paul, who
acquired such influence among my people on the first day that they
surround him continually, seeing in him not only a wonder-worker,
but a being almost supernatural. Yesterday I saw gladness on his
face, and when I asked what he was doing, he answered, 'I am
sowing!' Petronius knows that he is among my people, and wishes
to see him, as does Seneca also, who heard of him from Gallo.

"But the stars are growing pale, O Lygia, and 'Lucifer' of the
morning is bright with growing force. Soon the dawn will make
the sea ruddy; all is sleeping round about, but I am thinking of thee
and loving thee. Be greeted together with the morning dawn,
sponsa mea!"

CHAPTER XXXVIII

VINICIUS to LYGIA:

"Hast thou ever been in Antium, my dear one, with Aulus and
Pomponia? If not, 1 shall be happy when I show this place to thee.
All the way from Laurentuns there is a line of villas along the
seashore; and Antium itself is an endless succession of palaces and
porticos, whose columns in fair weather see themselves in the
water. I, too, have a residence here right over the sea, with an olive
garden and a forest of cypresses behind the villa, and when I think
that the place will sometime be thine, its marble seems whiter to
me, its groves more shady, and the sea bluer. Oh, Lygia, how good
it is to live and love! Old Menikles, who manages the villa, planted
irises on the ground under myrtles, and at sight of them the house
of Aulus, the impluvium, and the garden in which I sat near thee,
came to my mind. The irises will remind thee, too of thy
childhood's home; therefore I am certain that thou wilt love
Antium and this villa.

"Immediately after our arrival I talked long wfth Paul at dinner.
We spoke of thee, and afterward he taught. I listened long, and I
say only this, that eyed zuiuld I write like Patronius, I should not
have power to explain everything which passed through my soul
and my mind. I had not suppoed that there could be such happiness
in this world, such beauty and peace of which hitherto people had
no knowledge. But I retain all this for conversation with thee, for
at the first free moment I shall be in Rome.

"How could the earth find place at once for the Apostle Peter, Paul
of Tarsus, and Caesar? Tell me this. I ask because I passed
the evening after Paul's teaching with Nero, and dost thou know
what I heard there? Well, to begin with, he read his poem on the
destruction of Troy, and complained that never had he seen a
burning city. He envied Priam, and called him happy just for this,
that he saw the conflagration and ruin of his birthplace.
Whereupon Tigellinus said, 'Speak a word, O divinity, I will take a
torch, and before the night passes thou shalt see blazing Antium.'
But Caesar called him a fool. 'Where,' asked he, 'should I go to
breathe the sea air, and preserve the voice with which the gods
have gifted me, and which men say I should preserve for the
benefit of mankind? Is it not Rome that injures me; is it not the
exhalations of the Subura and the Esquiline which add to my
hoarseness? Would not the palaces of Rome present a spectacle a
hundredfold more tragic and magnificent than Antium?' Here all
began to talk, and to say what an unheard tragedy the picture of a
city like that would be, a city which had conquered the world
turned now into a heap of gray ashes. Caesar declared that then his
poem would surpass the songs of Homer, and he began to describe
how he would rebuild the city, and how coming ages would
admire his achievensents, in presence of which all other human
works would be petty. 'Do that! do that!' exclaimed the drunken
company. 'I must have more faithful and more devoted friends,'
answered he. I confess that I was alarmed at once when I heard
this, for thou art in Rome, carissima. I laugh now at that alarm, and
I think that Caesar and his friends, though mad, would not dare to
permit such insanity.. Still, see how a man fears for his love; I
should prefer that the house of Linus were not in that narrow
Trans-Tiber alley, and in a part occupied by common people,
who are less considered in such a case. For me, the very palaces on
the Palatine would not be a residence fit for thee; hence I should
wish also that nothing were lacking thee of those ornaments and
comforts to which thou art accustomed from childhood.

"Go to the house of Aulus, my Lygia. I have thought much here
over this matter. If Caesar were in Rome, news of thy return might
reach the Palatine through slaves, turn attention to thee, and bring
persecution, because thou didst dare to act against the will of
Caesar. But he will remain long in Antium, and before he returns
slaves will have ceased to speak of thee. Linus and Ursus can be
with thee. Besides, I live in hope that before Palatine sees Caesar,
thou, my goddess, shalt be dwelling in thy own house on the
Carina~. Blessed be the day, hour, and moment in wbicls tlson
shalt cross my threshold; and if Ghrist, whom I am laarning to
accept, effccrs this, may His name be blessed also. I shall serve
Him, and give life and blood for Him. I speak incorrectly; we shall
serve Him, both of us, as long as the threads of life hold.

"I love thee and salute thee with my whole soul."

Chapter XXXIX

Unsus was taking water from a cistern, and while drawing up a
double amphora, with a rope, was singing a strange Lygian song in
an undertone, looking meanwhile with delighted eyes at Lygia and
Vinicius, who, among the cypresses in Linus's garden, seemed as
white as two statues. Their clothing was not moved by the least
hreeze. A golden and lily-colored twilight was sinking on the
world while they were conversing in the calm of evening, each
holding the other by the hand.

"May not some evil meet thee, Marcus, because thou hast left
Antium without Caesar's knowledge?" asked Lygia.

"No, my dear," answered Vinieius. "Caesar announced that he
would shut himself in for two days with Terpnos, and compose
new songs. He acts thus frequently, and at such times neither
knows nor remembers aught else. Moreover, what is Caesar to me
since I am near thee and am looking at thee? I have yearned too
nsuch already, and these last nights sleep has left inc. More than
once, when I dozed from weariness, I woke on a sudden, with a
feeling that danger was hanging over thee; at times I dreamed that
the relays of horses which were to bear me from Antium to Rome
were stolen, -- hources with which I passed that road more swiftly
than any of Caesar's couriers. Besides, I could not live longer
without thee; I love thee too much for that, my dearest."

"I knew that thou wert consing. Twice Ursus ran out, at my
request, to the Carinai, and inquired for thee at thy house. Linus
laughed at me, and Ursus also."

It was, indeed, evident that she had expected him; for instead of
her usual dark dress, she wore a soft white stola, out of whose
heautiful folds her arms and head emerged like primroses out of
snow. A few ruddy anemones ornamented her hair.

Vinicius pressed his lips to her hands; then they sat on the stone
bench amidst wild grape-vines, and inclining toward each other,
were silent, looking at the twilight whose last gleams were
reflected in their eyes.

The eharos of the quiet evening niastered them completely.

"How calm it is here, and how beautiful the world is," said
Vinicius, in a lowered voice. "The night is wonderfully still. I feel
happier than ever in life before. Tell me, Lygia, what is this? Never
have I thought that there could be such love. I thought that lnve
was merely fire in the blood and desire; but now for the first time I
see that it is possible to love with every drop of one's blood and
every breath, and feel therewith suds sweet and immeasurable
calm as if Sleep and Death had put the soul to rest. For me this is
something new. I look on this calmness of the trees, and it seems
to be within me. Now I understand for the first time that there isiay
be happiness of which people have not known thus far, Now I
begin to understand why thou and Pomponia Gra~eina have such
peace. Yes! Christ gives it."

At that moment Lygia placed her beautiful face on his shoulder
and said, -- "My dear Marcus --" But she was unable to continue.
Joy, gratitude, and the feeling that at last slse was free to hove
deprived her of voice, and her eyes were filled with tears of
emotion.

\Tinieius, embracing her slender form with his arm, drew her
toward him and said,-- "Lygia! May the moment be blessed in
which I heard His name for the first tinne."

"I love thee, Marcus," said she then in a low voice.

Both were silent again, unable to bring words from their
overcharged breasts. The last lily reflections had died on the
cypresses, and the garden began to be silver-like from the crescent
of the moon. After a while Vinicius said,-- "I know. Barely had I
entered here, barely had I kissed thy dear hands, when I read in thy
eyes the question whether I had received the divine doctrine to
which thou art attached, and whether I was baptized. No, I am not
baptized yet; but knowest thou, my flower, why? Paul said to me: 'I
have convinced thee that God came into the world and gave
Himself to he crucified for its salvation; but let Peter wash thee in
the fountain of grace, he who first stretched his hands over thee
and blessed thee.' And I, my dearest, wish thee to witness nsy
baptism, and I wish Pomponia to be my godmother. This is why I
ans not baptized yet, thou?h I believe in the Saviour and in flis
teachtng. Paul has convinced me, has converted me; and could it
be otherwise? flow was I not to believe that Christ came into the
world, since he, who was His disciple, says so, and Paul, to whom
He appeared? How was I not to believe that He was God, since He
rose from the dead? Others saw Him in the city and on the lake
and on the mountain; people saw Him whose lips have not known
a lie. I began to believe this the first time I heard Peter in
Ostrianum, for I said to myself even then! In the whole world any
other man might lie rather than this one who says, 'I saw.' But I
feared thy religion. It seemed to me that thy religion would take
thee from me. I thought that there was neither wisdom nor beauty
nor happiness in it. But to-day, when know it, what kind of man
should I be were I not to wish truth to rule the world instead of
fahehood, love instead of hatred, virtue instead of crime,
faithfulness instead of unfaithfulness, mercy instead of vengeance?
What sort of man would he be who would not choose and wish the
same? But your religion teaches this. Others desire justice also;
but thy religion is the only one which makes man's heart just, and
besides makes it pure, like thine and Pomponia's, makes it
faitlsful, like thine and Pomponia's. I should be blind were 1 not to
see this, But if in addition Christ God has promised eternal life,
and has promised happiness as immeasurable as the all-might of
God can give, what more can one wish? Were I to ask Seneca why
he enjoins virtue, if wickedness brings more happiness, he would
not be able to say anything sensible. But I know now that I ought
to be virtuous, because virtue and love flow from Christ, and
because, when death closes my eyes, I shall find life and
happiness, I shall find myself and thee. Why not love and accept a
religion which both speaks the truth and destroys death? Who
would not prefer good to evil? I thought thy religion opposed to
happiness; meanwhile Paul has convinced me that not only does it
not take away, but that it gives. All this hardly finds a place in my
head; but I feel that it is true, for I have never been so happy,
neither could I be, had I taken thee by force and possessed thee in
my house. Just see, thou hast said a moment since, 'I love thee,'
and I could not have won these words from thy lips with all the
might of Rome. O Lygia! Reason declares this religion divine, and
the best; the heart feels it, and who can resist two such forces?"

Lygia listened, fixing on him her blue eyes, which in the light of
the moon were like mystic flowers, and bedcwcd like flowers.

"Yes, Marcus, that is true!" said she, nestling her head more
closely to his shoulder.

And at that moment they felt immensely happy, for they
understood that besides love they were united by another power, at
once sweet and irresistible, by which love itself becomes endless,
not subject to change, deceit, treason, or even death. Their hearts
were filled with perfect certainty that, no matter what might
happen, they would not cease to love and belong to each other. For
that reason an unspeakable repose flowed in on their souls.
Vinicius felt, besides, that that love was not merely profound and
pusc, but altogether new, -- such as the world had not known and
could not give. In his head all was combined in this love, -- Lygia,
the teaching of Christ, the light of the moon resting calmly on the
cypresses, and the still night, -- so that to him the whole universe
seemed filled with it.

After a while he said with a lowered arid quivering voice: "Thou
wilt be the soul of my soul, and the dearest in the world to me. Our
hearts will heat together, we shall have one prayer and one
gratitude to Christ. O my dear! To live together, to honor together
the sweet God, and to know that when death comes our eyes will
open again, as after a pleasant sleep, to a new light, -- what better
could be imagined? I only marvel that I did not understand this at
first. And knowest thou what occurs to me now? That no one can
resist this religion. In two hundred or three hundred years the
whole world will accept it. People will forget Jupiter, and there
will be no God except Christ, and no other temples but Christian.
Who would not wish his own happiness? Ah! but I heard Paul's
conversation with Petronius and dost thou know what Petronius
said at the end? 'That is not for me'; but he could give no other
answer."

"Repeat Paul's words to me," said Lygia.

"It was at my house one evening. Petronius began to speak
playfully and to banter, as he does usually, whereupon Paul said to
him: 'How canst thou deny, O wise Petronius, that Christ existed
and rose from the dead, since thou wert not in the world at that
time, but Peter and John saw Him, and I saw Him on the road to
Damascus? Let thy wisdom show, first of all, then, that we are
liars, and then only deny our testimony.' Petronius answered that
he had no thought of denying, for he knew that many
incomprehensible things were done, which trustworthy people
affirmed. 'But the discovery of some new foreign god is one
thing,' said he, 'and the reception of his teaching another. I have no
wish to know anything which' may deform life and mar its
beauty. Never mind whether our gods are true or not; they are
beautiful, their rule is pleasant for us, and we live without care.'
'Thou art willing to reject the religion of love, justice, and mercy
through dread of the cares of life,' replied Paul; 'but think,
Petronius, is thy life really free from anxieties? Behold, neither
thou nor any man among the richest and most powerful knows
when he falls asleep at night that he may not wake to a death
sentence. But tell me, if C2esar professed this religion, which
enjoins love and justice, would not thy happiness be more assured?
Thou art alarmed about thy delight, but would not life be more
joyous then? As to life's beauty and ornaments, if ye have reared so
many beautiful temples and statues to evil, revengeful, adulterous,
and faithless divinities, what would ye not do in honor of one God
of truth and mercy? Thou art ready to praise thy lot, because thou
art wealthy and living in luxury; but it was possible even in thy
case to be poor and deserted, though coming of a great house, and
then in truth it would have been better for thee if people confessed
Christ. In Rome even wealthy parents, unwilling to toil at rearing
children, cast them out of the house frequently; those children are
called alumni. And chance might have made thee an alumnus, like
one of those. But if parents live according to our religion, this
cannot happen. And hadst thou, at manhood's years, married a
woman of thy love, thy wish would be to see her faithful till death.
Meanwhile look around, what happens among you, what vileness,
what shame, what bartering in the faith of wives! Nay, ye
yourselves are astonished when a woman appears whom ye call
"univira" (of one husband). But I tell thee that those women who
carry Christ in their hearts will not break faith with their husbands,
just as Christian husbands will keep faith with their wives. But ye
are neither sure of rulers nor fathers nor wives nor children nor
servants. The whole world is trembling before you, and ye are
trembling before your own slaves, for ye know that any hour may
raise an awful war against your oppression, such a war as has been
raised more than once. Though rich, thou art not sure that the
command may not come to thee to-morrow to leave thy wealth;
thou art young, but to-morrow it may be necessary for thee to die.
Thou lovest, but treason is in wait for thee; thou art enamoured of
villas and statues, but to-morrow power may thrust thee forth into
the empty places of the Pandataria; thou hast thousands of
servants, but to-morrow these servants may let thy blood flow. And
if that be the case, how canst thou be calm and happy, how canst
thou live in delight? But I proclaim love, and I proclaim a religion
which commands rulers to love their subjects, masters their slaves,
slaves to serve with love, to do justice and be merciful; and at last
it promises happiness boundless as a sea without end. How, then,
Petronius, canst thou say that that religion spoils life, since it
corrects, and since thou thyself wouldst be a hundred times
happier and more secure were it to embrace the world as Rome's
dominion has embraced it?'