Books: Quo Vadis A Narrative of the Time of Nero

H >> Henryk Sienkiewicz >> Quo Vadis A Narrative of the Time of Nero

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Vinicius commanded to give him food, a piece of gold, and a
mantle. But Chio, weakened by stripes and hunger, could not go to
take food, though terror raised the hair on his head, lest Vinicius
might mistake his weakness for stubbornness and command to flog
him anew.

"Only let wine warm me," repeated he, with chattering teeth, "I
shall be able to go at once, even to Magna Graecia."

He regained some strength after a time, and they went out.

The way was long, for, like the majority of Christians, Linus dwelt
in the Trans-Tiber, and not far from Miriam. At last Chibo showed
Vinicius a small house, standing apart, surrounded by a wall
covered entirely with ivy, and said,-----

"Here it is, lord."

"Well," said Vinicius, "go thy way now, but listen first to what I
tell thee. Forget that thou hast served me; forget where Miriam,
Peter, and Glaucus dwell; forget also this house, and all Christians.
Thou wilt come every month to my house, where Demas, my
freedman, will pay thee two pieces of gold. But shouldst thou spy
further after Christians, I will have thee flogged, or delivered into
the hands of the prefect of the city."

Chilo bowed down, and said, -- "I will forget."

But when Vinicius vanished beyond the corner of the street, he
stretched his hands after him, and, threatening with his fists,
exclaimed, -- "By Ate and the Furies! I will not forget!"

Then he grew faint again.

Chapter XXXIII

VINICIUS went directly to the house in which Miriam lived.
Before the gate he met Nazarius, who was confused at sight of
him; but greeting the lad cordially, he asked to be conducted to his
mother's lodgings.

Besides Miriam, Vinicius found Peter, Glaucus, Crispus, and Paul
of Tarsus, who had returned recently from Fregellae. At sight of
the young tribune, astonishment was reflected on all faces; but he
said, -- "I greet you in the name of Christ, whom ye honor." "May
His name be glorified forever!" answered they.

"I have seen your virtue and experienced your kindness, hence I
come as a friend."

"And we greet thee as a friend," answered Peter. "Sit down, lord,
and partake of our refreshment, as a guest."

"I will sit down and share your repast; but first listen to me, thou
Peter, and thou Paul of Tarsus, so that ye may know my sincerity. I
know where Lygia is. I have returned from before the house of
Linus, which is near this dwelling. I have a right to her given me
by Caesar. I have at my houses in the city nearly five hundred
slaves. I might surround her hiding-place and seize her; still I have
not done so, and will not."

"For this reason the blessing of the Lord will be upon thee, and thy
heart will be purified," said Peter.

"I thank thee. But listen to me further: I have not done so, though I
am living in suffering and sadness. Before I knew you, I should
have taken her undoubtedly, and held her by force; but your virtue
and your religion. though I do not profess it, have changed
something in my soul, so that I do not venture on violence. I know
not myself why this is so, but it is so; hence I come to you, for ye
take the place of Lygia's father and mother, and I say to you: Give
her to me as wife, and I swear that not only will I not forbid her to
confess Christ, but I will begin myself to learn His religion."

He spoke with head erect and decisively; but still hc was moved,
and his legs trembled beneath his mantle. When silence followed
his words, he continued, as if wishing to anticipate an unfavorable
answer, -- "I know what obstacles exist, but I love her as my own
eyes; and though I am not a Christian yet, I am neither your enemy
nor Christ's. I wish to be sincere, so that you may trust me. At this
moment it is a question of life with me, still I tell you the truth.
Another might say, Baptize me; I say, Enlighten me. I believe that
Christ rose from the dead, for people say so who love the truth,
and who saw Him after death. I believe, for I have seen myself,
that your religion produces virtue, justice, and mercy, -- not
crime, which is laid to your charge. I have not known your religion
much so far. A little from you, a little from your works, a little
from Lygia, a little from conversations with you. Still I repeat that
it has made some change in me. Formerly I held my servants with
an iron hand; I cannot do so now. I knew no pity; I know it now. I
was fond of pleasure; the other night I fled from the pond of
Agrippa, for the breath was taken from m~ through disgust.
Formerly I believed in superior force; now I have abandoned it.
Know ye that I do not recognize myself. I am disgusted by feasts,
wine, singing, cithar~, garlands, the court of Caesar, naked bodies,
and every crime. When I think that Lygia is like snow in the
mountains, I love her the more; and when I think that she is what
she is through your religion, I love and desire that religion. But
since I understand it not, since I know not whether I shall be able
to live according to it, nor whether my nature can endure it, I am in
uncertainty and suffering, as if I were in prison."

Here his brows met in wrinkle of pain, and a flush appeared on his
cheeks; after that he spoke on with growing haste and greater
emotion, -- "As ye see, I am tortured from love and uncertainty.
Men tell me that in your religion there is no place for life, or
human joy, or happiness, or law, or order, or authority, or Roman
dominion. Is this true? Men tell me that ye are madmen; but tell
me yourselves what ye bring. Is it a sin to love, a sin to feel joy, a
sin to want happiness? Are ye enemies of life? Must a Christian be
wretched? Must I renounce Lygia? What is truth in your view?
Your deeds and words are like transparent water, but what is under
that water? Ye see that I am sincere. Scatter the darkness. Men say
this to me also: Greece created beauty and wisdom, Rome created
power; but they -- what do they bring? Tell, then, what ye bring. If
there is brightness beyond your doors, open them."

"We bring love," said Peter.

And Paul of Tarsus added, -- "If I speak with the tongues of men
and of angels, but have not love, I am become sounding brass."

But the heart of the old Apostle was stirred by that soul in
suffering, which, like a bird in a cage, was struggling toward air
and the sun; hence, stretching his hand to Vinicius, he said, --
"Whoso knocketh, to him will be opened. The favor and grace of
God is upon thee; for this reason I bless thee, thy soul and thy love,
in the name of the Redeemer of mankind."

Vinicius, who had spoken with enthusiasm already, sprang toward
Peter on hearing this blessing, and an uncommon thing happened.
That descendant of Quirites, who till recently had not recognized
humanity in a foreigner, seized the hand of the old Gahilean, and
pressed it in gratitude to his lips.

Peter was pleased; for he understood that his sowing had fallen on
an additional field, that his fishing-net had gathered in a new soul.

Those present, not less pleased by that evident expression of honor
for the Apostle of God, exclaimed in one voice, -- "Praise to the
Lord in the highest!"

Vinicius rose with a radiant face, and began, -- "I see that
happiness may dwell among you, for I feel happy, and I think that
ye can convince me of other things in the same way. But I will add
that this cannot happen in Rome. Caesar is goin to Antium and I
must go with him, for I have the order. Ye know that not to obey is
death. But if I have found favor in your eyes, go with me to teach
your truth. It will be safer for you than for roe. Even in that great
throng of people, ye can announce your truth in the very court of
Caesar. They say that Acte is a Christian; and there are Christians
among pretorians even, for I myself have seen soldiers kneeling
before thee, Peter, at the Nomentan gate. In Antium I have a villa
where we shall assemble to hear your teaching, at the side of Nero.
Glaucus told me that ye are ready to go to the end of the earth for
one soul; so do for me what ye have done for those for whose sake
ye have come from Judea, -- do it, arid desert not my soul."

Hearing this, they began to take counsel, thinking with delight of
the victory of their religion, and of the significance for the pagan
world which the conversion of an Augustian, and a descendant of
one of the oldest Roman families, would have. They were ready,
indeed, to wander to the end of the earth for one human soul, and
since the death of the Master they had, in fact, done nothing else;
hence a negative answer did not even come to their minds. Peter
was at that moment the pastor of a whole multitude, hence he
could not go; but Paul of Tarsus, who had been in Aricium and
Fregellae not long before, and who was preparing for a long
journey to the East to visit churches there and freshen them with a
new spirit of zeal, consented to accompany the young tribune to
Antium. It was easy to find a ship there going to Grecian waters.

Vinicius, though sad because Peter, to whom he owed so much,
could not visit Antium, thanked him with gratitude, and then
turned to the old Apostle with his last request, -- "Knowing Lygia's
dwelling," said he, "I might have gone to her and asked, as is
proper, whether she would take me as husband should my soul
become Christian, but I prefer to ask thee, O Apostle! Permit me to
see her, or take me thyself to her. I know not how long I shall be in
Antium; and remember that near Caesar no one is sure of
to-morrow. Petronius himself told me that I should not be
altogether safe there. Let me see her before I go; let me delight my
eyes with her; and let me ask her if she will forget my evil and
return good."

Peter smiled kindly and said, -- "But who could refuse thee a
proper joy, my son?"

Vinicius stooped again to Peter's hands, for he could not in any
way restrain his overflowing heart. The Apostle took him by the
temples and said,-- "Have no fear of Caesar, for I tell thee that a
hair will not fall from thy head."

He sent Miriam for Lygia, telling her not to say who was with
them, so as to give the maiden more delight.

It was not far; so after a short time those in the chamber saw
among the myrtles of the garden Miriam leading Lygia by the
hand.

Vinicius wished to run forth to meet her; but at sight of that
beloved form happiness took his strength, and he stood with
beating heart, breathless, barely able to keep his feet, a hundred
times more excited than when for the first time in life he heard the
Parthian arrows whizzing round his head.

She ran in, unsuspecting; but at sight of him she halted as if fixed
to the earth. Her face flushed, and then became very pale; she
looked with astonished and frightened eyes on those present.

But round about she saw clear glances, full of kindness. The
Apostle Peter approached her and asked, -- "Lygia, dost thou love
him as ever?"

A moment of silence followed. Her lips began to quiver like those
of a child who is preparing to cry, who feels that it is guilty, but
sees that it must confess the guilt.

"Answer," said the Apostle.

Then, with humility, obedience, and fear in her voice, she
whispered, kneeling at the knees of Peter, -- "I do."

In one moment Vinicius knelt at her side. Peter placed his hands
on their heads, and said, -- "Love each other in the Lord and to His
glory, for there is no sin in your love."

Chapter XXIV

WHILE walking with Lygia through the garden, Vinicius described
briefly, in words from the depth of his heart, that which a short
time before he had confessed to the Apostles, -- that is, the alarm
of his soul, the changes which had taken place in him, and, finally,
that immense yearning which had veiled life from him, beginning
with the hour when he left Miriam's dwelling. He confessed to
Lygia that he had tried to forget her, but was not able. He thought
whole days and nights of her. That little cross of boxwood twigs
which she had left reminded him of her, -- that cross, which he had
placed in the lararium and revered involuntarily as something
divine. And he yearned more and more every moment, for love
was stronger than he, and had seized his soul altogether, even
when he was at the house of Aulus. The Parcae weave the thread
of life for others; but love, yearning, and melancholy had woven it
for him. His acts had been evil, but they had their origin in love.
He had loved her when she was in the house of Aulus, when she
was on the Palatine, when he saw her in Ostrianum listening to
Peter's words, when he went with Croton to carry her away, when
she watched at his bedside, and when she deserted him. Then came
Chilo, who discovered her dwelling, and advised him to seize her a
second time; but he chose to punish Chilo, and go to the Apostles
to ask for truth and for her. And blessed be that moment in which
such a thought came to his head, for now he is at her side, and she
will not flee from him, as the last time she fled from the house of
Miriam.

"I did not flee from thee," said Lygia. "Then why didst thou go?"

She raised her iris-colored eyes to him, and, bending her blushing
face, said,-- "Thou knowest --"

Vinicius was silent for a moment from excess of happiness, and
began again to speak, as his eyes were opened gradually to this, --
that she was different utterly from Roman women, and resembled
Pomponia alone. Besides, he could not explain this to her clearly,
for he could not define his feeling, -- that beauty of a new kind
altogether was coming to the world in her, such beauty as had not
been in it thus far; beauty which is not merely a statue, but a spirit.
He told her something, howcver, which filled her with delight, --
that he loved her just because she had fled from him, and that she
would be sacred to him at his hearth. Then, seizing her hand, he
could not continue; he merely gazed on her with rapture as on his
life's happiness which he had won, and repeated her name, as if to
assure himself that he had found her and was near her.

"Oh, Lygia, Lygia!"

At last he inquired what had taken place in her mind, and she
confessed that she had loved him while in the house of Aulus, and
that if he had taken her back to them from the Palatine she would
have told them of her love and tried to soften their anger against
him.

"I swear to thee," said Vinicius, "that it had not even risen in my
mind to take thee from Aulus. Petronius will tell thee sometime
that I told him then how I loved and wished to marry thee. 'Let her
anoint my door with wolf fat, and let her sit at my hearth,' said I to
him. But he ridiculed me, and gave Caesar the idea of demanding
thee as a hostage and giving thee to me. How often in my sorrow
have I cursed him; but perhaps fate ordained thus, for otherwise I
should not have known the Christians, and should not have
understood thee."

"Believe me, Marcus," replied Lygia, "it was Christ who led thee to
Himself by design."

Vinicius raised his head with a certain astonishment.

"True," answered he, with animation. "Everything fixed itself so
marvellously that in seeking thee I met the Christians. In
Ostrianum I listened to the Apostle with wonder, for I had never
heard such words. And there thou didst pray for me?"

"I did," answered Lygia.

They passed near the summer-house covered with thick ivy, and
approached the place where Ursus, after stifling Croton, threw
himself upon Vinicius.

"Here," said the young man, "I should have perished but for thee."

"Do not mention that," answered Lygia, "and do not speak of it to
Ursus."

"Could I be revenged on him for defending thee? Had he been a
slave, I should have given him freedom straightway."

"Had he been a slave, Aiilus would have freed him long ago."

"Dost thou remember," asked Vinicius, "that I wished to take thee
back to Aulus, but the answer was, that Caesar might hear of it and
take revenge on Aulus and Pomponia? Think of this: thou mayst
see them now as often as thou wishest."

"How, Marcus?"

"I say 'now,' and I think that thou wilt be able to see them without
danger, when thou art mine. For should Caesar hear of this, and
ask what I did with the hostage whom he gave me, I should say 'I
married her, and she Visits the house of Aulus with my consent.'
He will not remain long in Antium, for he wishes to go to Achiea;
and even should he remain, I shall not need to see him daily. When
Paul of Tarsus teaches me your faith, I will receive baptism at
once, I will come here, gain the friendship of Aulus and
Pornponia, who will return to the city by that time, and there will
be no further hindrance, I will seat thee at my hearth. Oh,
carissima! carissirna!"

And he stretched forth his liand, as if taking Heaven as witness of
his love;. and Lygia, raising her clear eyes to him, said, -- "And
then I shall say, 'Wherever thou art, Caius, there am I, Caia.'"

"No, Lygia," cried Vinicius, "I swear to thee that never has woman
been so honored in the house of her husband as thou shalt be in
mine."

For a time they walked on in silence, without being able to take in
with their breasts their happiness, in love with each other, like two
deities, and as beautiful as if spring had given them to the world
with the flowers.

They halted at last under the cypress growing near the entrance of
the house. Lygia leaned against his breast, and Vinicius began to
entreat again with a trembling voice, -- "Tell Ursus to go to the
house of Aulus for thy furniture and playthings of childhood."

But she, blushing like a rose or like the dawn, answered, --
"Custom commands otherwise."

"I know that. The pronuba1 usually brings them behind the bride,
but do this for me. I will take them to my villa in Antium, and they
will remind me of thee."

Here he placed his hands together and repeated, like a child who is
begging for something, -- "It will be some days before Pomponia
returns; so do this, diva, do this, carissima."

"But Pomponia will do as she likes," answered Lygia, blushing still
more deeply at mention of the pronuba.

And again they were silent, for love had begun to stop the breath in
their breasts. Lygia stood with shoulders leaning against the
cypress, her face whitening in the shadow, like a flower, her eyes
drooping, her bosom heaving with more and more life. Vinicius
changed in the face, and grew pale. In the silence of the afternoon
they only heard the beating of their hearts, and in their mutual
ecstasy that cypress, the myrtle bushes, and the ivy of the
summer-house became for them a paradise of love. But Miriam
appeared in the door, and invited them to the afternoon meal. They
sat down then with the Apostles, who gazed at them with pleasure,
as on the young generation which after their death would preserve
anti sow still further the seed of the new faith. Peter broke and
blessed bread. There was calm on all faces, and a certain immense
happiness seemed to overflow the whole house.

"See," said Paul at last, turning to Vinicius, "are we enemies of life
and happiness?"

"I know how that is," answered Vinicius, "for never have I been so
happy as among you."

1The matron who accompanies the bride and explains to her the
duties of a wife.

Chapter XXXV

ON the evening of that day Vinicius, while returning home through
the Forum, saw at the entrance to the Vicus Tuscus the gilded litter
of Petronius, carried by eight stalwart Bithynians, and, stopping it
with a sign of his hand, he approached the curtains.

"Thou hast had a pleasant dream, I trust, and a happy one!" cried
he, laughing at sight of the slumbering Petronius.

"Oh, is it thou?" said Petronius, waking up. "Yes; I dropped asleep
for a moment, as I passed the night at the Palatine. I have come out
to buy something to read on the road to Antium. What is the
news?"

"Art thou visiting the book-shops?" inquired Vinicius.

"Yes, I do not like to bring disorder into my library, so I am
collecting a special supply for the journey. It is likely that some
new things of Musonius and Seneca have come out. I am looking
also for Persius, and a certain edition of the Eclogues of Vergilius,
which I do not possess. Oh, how tired I am; and how my hands
ache from covers and rings! For when a man is once in a
book-shop curiosity seizes him to look here and there. I was at the
shop of Avirnus, and at that of Atractus on the Argiletum, and with
the Sozii on Vicus Sandalarius. By Castor! how I want to sleep!"

"Thou wert on the Palatine? Then I would ask thee what is it to be
heard there? Or, knowest what? -- send home the litter and the
tubes with books, and come to my house. We will talk of Antium,
and of something else?'

"That is well," answered Petronius, coming out of the litter. "Thou
must know, besides, that we start for Antium the day after
to-morrow."

"Whence should I know that?"

"In what world art thou living? Well, I shall be the first to
announce the news to thee. Yes; be ready for the day after
to-morrow in the morning. Peas in olive oil have not helped, a
cloth around his thick neck has not helped, and Bronzebeard is
hoarse. In view of this, delay is not to be mentioned. He curses
Rome and its atmosphere, with what the world stands on; he would
be glad to level it to the earth or to destroy it with fire, and he
longs for the sea at the earliest. He says that the smells which the
wind brings from the narrow streets are driving him into the grave.
To-day great sacrifices were offered in all the temples to restore
his voice; and woe to Rome, but especially to the Senate, should it
not return quickly!"

"Then there would be no reason for his visit to Achaea?"

"But is that the only talent possessed by our divine Caesar?" asked
Petronius, smiling. "He would appear in the Olympic games, as a
poet, with his 'Burning of Troy'; as a charioteer, as a musician, as
an athlete, -- nay, even as a dancer, and would receive in every
case all the crowns intended for victors.

Dost know why that monkey grew hoarse? Yesterday he wanted to
equal our Paris in dancing, and danced for us the adventures of
Leda, during which he sweated and caught cold. He was as wet and
slippery as an eel freshly taken from water. He changed masks one
after another, whirled like a spindle, waved his hands like a
drunken sailor, till disgust seized me while looking at that great
stomach and those slim legs. Paris taught him during two weeks;
but imagine to thyself Ahenobarbus as Leda or as the divine swan.
That was a swan! -- there is no use in denying it. But he wants to
appear before the public in that pantomime, -- first in Antium, and
then in Rome."

"People are offended already because he sang in public; but to
think that a Roman Caesar will appear as a mime! No; even Rome
will not endure that!"

"My dear friend, Rome will endure anything; the Senate will pass a
vote of thanks to the 'Father of his country.' And the rabble will be
elated because Caesar is its buffoon."

"Say thyself, is it possible to be more debased?"

Petronius shrugged his shoulders. "Thou art living by thyself at
home, and meditating, now about Lygia, now about Christians, so
thou knowest not, perhaps, what happened two days since. Nero
married, in public, Pythagoras, who appeared as a bride. That
passed the measure of madness, it would seem, would it not? And
what wilt thou say? the flamens, who were summoned, came and
performed the ceremony with solemnity. I was present. I can
endure much; still I thought, I confess, that the gods, if there be
any, should give a sign. But Caesar does not believe in the gods,
and he is right."

"So he is in one person chief priest, a god, and an atheist," said
Vinicius. "True," said Petronius, beginning to laugh. "That had not
entered my head; but the combination is such as the world has not
seen." Then, stopping a moment, he said: "One should add that this
chief priest who does not believe in the gods, and this god who
reviles the gods, fears them in his character of atheist."

"The proof of this is what happened in the temple of Vesta." "What
a society!"

"As the society is, so is Caesar. But this will not last long."

Thus conversing, they entered the house of Vinicius, who called
for supper joyously; then, turning to Petronius he said, -- "No, my
dear, society must be renewed."

"We shall not renew it," answered Petronius, "even for the reason
that in Nero's time man is like a butterfly, -- he lives in the
sunshine of favor, and at the first cold wind he perishes, even
against his will. By the son of Maia! more than once have I given
myself this question: By what miracle has such a man as Lucius
Saturninus been able to reach the age of ninety-three, to survive
Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius? But never mind. Wilt thou permit me
to send thy litter for Eunice? My wish to sleep has gone, somehow,
and I should like to be joyous. Give command to cithara players to
come to the supper, and afterward we will talk of Antium. It is
needful to think of it, especially for thee."

Vinicius gave the order to send for Eunice, but declared that he
had no thought of breaking his head over the stay in Antium.

"Let those break their heads who cannot live otherwise than in the
rays of Caesar's favor. The world does not end on the Palatine,
especially for those who have something else in their hearts and
souls."