Books: A Passionate Pilgrim
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Henry James >> A Passionate Pilgrim
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At this moment there passed within call a decent lad who had
emerged from the gardens and who might have been an underling in
the stables. I hailed him and put the question of our possible
admittance to the house. He answered that the master was away
from home, but that he thought it probable the housekeeper would
consent to do the honours. I passed my arm into Searle's. "Come,"
I said; "drain the cup, bitter-sweet though it be. We must go
in." We hastened slowly and approached the fine front. The house
was one of the happiest fruits of its freshly-feeling era, a
multitudinous cluster of fair gables and intricate chimneys,
brave projections and quiet recesses, brown old surfaces
weathered to silver and mottled roofs that testified not to
seasons but to centuries. Two broad terraces commanded the wooded
horizon. Our appeal was answered by a butler who condescended to
our weakness. He renewed the assertion that Mr. Searle was away
from home, but he would himself lay our case before the
housekeeper. We would be so good, however, as to give him our
cards. This request, following so directly on the assertion that
Mr. Searle was absent, was rather resented by my companion.
"Surely not for the housekeeper."
The butler gave a diplomatic cough. "Miss Searle is at home,
sir."
"Yours alone will have to serve," said my friend. I took out a
card and pencil and wrote beneath my name NEW YORK. As I stood
with the pencil poised a temptation entered into it. Without in
the least considering proprieties or results I let my implement
yield--I added above my name that of Mr. Clement Searle. What
would come of it?
Before many minutes the housekeeper waited upon us--a fresh rosy
little old woman in a clean dowdy cap and a scanty sprigged gown;
a quaint careful person, but accessible to the tribute of our
pleasure, to say nothing of any other. She had the accent of the
country, but the manners of the house. Under her guidance we
passed through a dozen apartments, duly stocked with old
pictures, old tapestry, old carvings, old armour, with a hundred
ornaments and treasures. The pictures were especially valuable.
The two Vandykes, the trio of rosy Rubenses, the sole and sombre
Rembrandt, glowed with conscious authenticity. A Claude, a
Murillo, a Greuze, a couple of Gainsboroughs, hung there with
high complacency. Searle strolled about, scarcely speaking, pale
and grave, with bloodshot eyes and lips compressed. He uttered no
comment on what we saw--he asked but a question or two. Missing
him at last from my side I retraced my steps and found him in a
room we had just left, on a faded old ottoman and with his elbows
on his knees and his face buried in his hands. Before him, ranged
on a great credence, was a magnificent collection of old Italian
majolica; plates of every shape, with their glaze of happy
colour, jugs and vases nobly bellied and embossed. There seemed
to rise before me, as I looked, a sudden vision of the young
English gentleman who, eighty years ago, had travelled by slow
stages to Italy and been waited on at his inn by persuasive
toymen. "What is it, my dear man?" I asked. "Are you unwell?"
He uncovered his haggard face and showed me the flush of a
consciousness sharper, I think, to myself than to him. "A memory
of the past! There comes back to me a china vase that used to
stand on the parlour mantel-shelf when I was a boy, with a
portrait of General Jackson painted on one side and a bunch of
flowers on the other. How long do you suppose that majolica has
been in the family?"
"A long time probably. It was brought hither in the last century,
into old, old England, out of old, old Italy, by some
contemporary dandy with a taste for foreign gimcracks. Here it
has stood for a hundred years, keeping its clear firm hues in
this quiet light that has never sought to advertise it."
Searle sprang to his feet. "I say, for mercy's sake, take me
away! I can't stand this sort of thing. Before I know it I shall
do something scandalous. I shall steal some of their infernal
crockery. I shall proclaim my identity and assert my rights. I
shall go blubbering to Miss Searle and ask her in pity's name to
'put me up.'"
If he could ever have been said to threaten complications he
rather visibly did so now. I began to regret my officious
presentation of his name and prepared without delay to lead him
out of the house. We overtook the housekeeper in the last room of
the series, a small unused boudoir over whose chimney-piece hung
a portrait of a young man in a powdered wig and a brocaded
waistcoat. I was struck with his resemblance to my companion
while our guide introduced him. "This is Mr. Clement Searle, Mr.
Searle's great-uncle, by Sir Joshua Reynolds. He died young, poor
gentleman; he perished at sea, going to America."
"He was the young buck who brought the majolica out of Italy," I
supplemented.
"Indeed, sir, I believe he did," said the housekeeper without
wonder.
"He's the image of you, my dear Searle," I further observed.
"He's remarkably like the gentleman, saving his presence," said
the housekeeper.
My friend stood staring. "Clement Searle--at sea--going to
America--?" he broke out. Then with some sharpness to our old
woman: "Why the devil did he go to America?"
"Why indeed, sir? You may well ask. I believe he had kinsfolk
there. It was for them to come to him."
Searle broke into a laugh. "It was for them to come to him! Well,
well," he said, fixing his eyes on our guide, "they've come to
him at last!"
She blushed like a wrinkled rose-leaf. "Indeed, sir, I verily
believe you're one of US!"
"My name's the name of that beautiful youth," Searle went on.
"Dear kinsman I'm happy to meet you! And what do you think of
this?" he pursued as he grasped me by the arm. "I have an idea.
He perished at sea. His spirit came ashore and wandered about in
misery till it got another incarnation--in this poor trunk!" And
he tapped his hollow chest. "Here it has rattled about these
forty years, beating its wings against its rickety cage, begging
to be taken home again. And I never knew what was the matter with
me! Now at last the bruised spirit can escape!"
Our old lady gaped at a breadth of appreciation--if not at the
disclosure of a connexion--beyond her. The scene was really
embarrassing, and my confusion increased as we became aware of
another presence. A lady had appeared in the doorway and the
housekeeper dropped just audibly: "Miss Searle!" My first
impression of Miss Searle was that she was neither young nor
beautiful. She stood without confidence on the threshold, pale,
trying to smile and twirling my card in her fingers. I
immediately bowed. Searle stared at her as if one of the pictures
had stepped out of its frame.
"If I'm not mistaken one of you gentlemen is Mr. Clement Searle,"
the lady adventured.
"My friend's Mr. Clement Searle," I took upon myself to reply.
"Allow me to add that I alone am responsible for your having
received his name."
"I should have been sorry not to--not to see him," said Miss
Searle, beginning to blush. "Your being from America has led me--
perhaps to intrude!"
"The intrusion, madam, has been on our part. And with just that
excuse--that we come from so far away."
Miss Searle, while I spoke, had fixed her eyes on my friend as he
stood silent beneath Sir Joshua's portrait. The housekeeper,
agitated and mystified, fairly let herself go. "Heaven preserve
us, Miss! It's your great-uncle's picture come to life."
"I'm not mistaken then," said Miss Searle--"we must be distantly
related." She had the air of the shyest of women, for whom it was
almost anguish to make an advance without help. Searle eyed her
with gentle wonder from head to foot, and I could easily read his
thoughts. This then was his maiden-cousin, prospective mistress
of these hereditary treasures. She was of some thirty-five years
of age, taller than was then common and perhaps stouter than is
now enjoined. She had small kind grey eyes, a considerable
quantity of very light-brown hair and a smiling well-formed
mouth. She was dressed in a lustreless black satin gown with a
short train. Disposed about her neck was a blue handkerchief, and
over this handkerchief, in many convolutions, a string of amber
beads. Her appearance was singular; she was large yet somehow
vague, mature yet undeveloped. Her manner of addressing us spoke
of all sorts of deep diffidences. Searle, I think, had prefigured
to himself some proud cold beauty of five-and-twenty; he was
relieved at finding the lady timid and not obtrusively fair. He
at once had an excellent tone.
"We're distant cousins, I believe. I'm happy to claim a
relationship which you're so good as to remember. I hadn't
counted on your knowing anything about me."
"Perhaps I've done wrong." And Miss Searle blushed and smiled
anew. "But I've always known of there being people of our blood
in America, and have often wondered and asked about them--without
ever learning much. To-day, when this card was brought me and I
understood a Clement Searle to be under our roof as a stranger, I
felt I ought to do something. But, you know, I hardly knew what.
My brother's in London. I've done what I think he would have
done. Welcome as a cousin." And with a resolution that ceased to
be awkward she put out her hand.
"I'm welcome indeed if he would have done it half so graciously!"
Again Searle, taking her hand, acquitted himself beautifully.
"You've seen what there is, I think," Miss Searle went on.
"Perhaps now you'll have luncheon." We followed her into a small
breakfast-room where a deep bay window opened on the mossy flags
of a terrace. Here, for some moments, she remained dumb and
abashed, as if resting from a measurable effort. Searle too had
ceased to overflow, so that I had to relieve the silence. It was
of course easy to descant on the beauties of park and mansion,
and as I did so I observed our hostess. She had no arts, no
impulses nor graces--scarce even any manners; she was queerly,
almost frowsily dressed; yet she pleased me well. She had an
antique sweetness, a homely fragrance of old traditions. To be so
simple, among those complicated treasures, so pampered and yet so
fresh, so modest and yet so placid, told of just the spacious
leisure in which Searle and I had imagined human life to be
steeped in such places as that. This figure was to the Sleeping
Beauty in the Wood what a fact is to a fairy-tale, an
interpretation to a myth. We, on our side, were to our hostess
subjects of a curiosity not cunningly veiled.
"I should like so to go abroad!" she exclaimed suddenly, as if
she meant us to take the speech for an expression of interest in
ourselves.
"Have you never been?" one of us asked.
"Only once. Three years ago my brother took me to Switzerland. We
thought it extremely beautiful. Except for that journey I've
always lived here. I was born in this house. It's a dear old
place indeed, and I know it well. Sometimes one wants a change."
And on my asking her how she spent her time and what society she
saw, "Of course it's very quiet," she went on, proceeding by
short steps and simple statements, in the manner of a person
called upon for the first time to analyse to that extent her
situation. "We see very few people. I don't think there are many
nice ones hereabouts. At least we don't know them. Our own
family's very small. My brother cares for nothing but riding and
books. He had a great sorrow ten years ago. He lost his wife and
his only son, a dear little boy, who of course would have had
everything. Do you know that that makes me the heir, as they've
done something--I don't quite know what--to the entail? Poor old
me! Since his loss my brother has preferred to be quite alone.
I'm sorry he's away. But you must wait till he comes back. I
expect him in a day or two." She talked more and more, as if our
very strangeness led her on, about her circumstances, her
solitude, her bad eyes, so that she couldn't read, her flowers,
her ferns, her dogs, and the vicar, recently presented to the
living by her brother and warranted quite safe, who had lately
begun to light his altar candles; pausing every now and then to
gasp in self-surprise, yet, in the quaintest way in the world,
keeping up her story as if it were a slow rather awkward old-time
dance, a difficult pas seul in which she would have been better
with more practice, but of which she must complete the figure. Of
all the old things I had seen in England this exhibited mind of
Miss Searle's seemed to me the oldest, the most handed down and
taken for granted; fenced and protected as it was by convention
and precedent and usage, thoroughly acquainted with its
subordinate place. I felt as if I were talking with the heroine
of a last-century novel. As she talked she rested her dull eyes
on her kinsman with wondering kindness. At last she put it to
him: "Did you mean to go away without asking for us?"
"I had thought it over, Miss Searle, and had determined not to
trouble you. You've shown me how unfriendly I should have been."
"But you knew of the place being ours, and of our relationship?"
"Just so. It was because of these things that I came down here--
because of them almost that I came to England. I've always liked
to think of them," said my companion.
"You merely wished to look then? We don't pretend to be much to
look at."
He waited; her words were too strange. "You don't know what you
are, Miss Searle."
"You like the old place then?"
Searle looked at her again in silence. "If I could only tell
you!" he said at last.
"Do tell me. You must come and stay with us."
It moved him to an oddity of mirth. "Take care, take care--I
should surprise you! I'm afraid I should bore you. I should never
leave you."
"Oh you'd get homesick--for your real home!"
At this he was still more amused. "By the way, tell Miss Searle
about our real home," he said to me. And he stepped, through the
window, out upon the terrace, followed by two beautiful dogs, a
setter and a young stag-hound who from the moment we came in had
established the fondest relation with him. Miss Searle looked at
him, while he went, as if she vaguely yearned over him; it began
to be plain that she was interested in her exotic cousin. I
suddenly recalled the last words I had heard spoken by my
friend's adviser in London and which, in a very crude form, had
reference to his making a match with this lady. If only Miss
Searle could be induced to think of that, and if one had but the
tact to put it in a light to her! Something assured me that her
heart was virgin-soil, that the flower of romantic affection had
never bloomed there. If I might just sow the seed! There seemed
to shape itself within her the perfect image of one of the
patient wives of old.
"He has lost his heart to England," I said. "He ought to have
been born here."
"And yet he doesn't look in the least an Englishman," she still
rather guardedly prosed.
"Oh it isn't his looks, poor fellow."
"Of course looks aren't everything. I never talked with a
foreigner before; but he talks as I have fancied foreigners."
"Yes, he's foreign enough."
"Is he married?"
"His wife's dead and he's all alone in the world."
"Has he much property?"
"None to speak of."
"But he has means to travel."
I meditated. "He has not expected to travel far," I said at last.
"You know, he's in very poor health."
"Poor gentleman! So I supposed."
"But there's more of him to go on with than he thinks. He came
here because he wanted to see your place before he dies."
"Dear me--kind man!" And I imagined in the quiet eyes the hint of
a possible tear. "And he was going away without my seeing him?"
"He's very modest, you see."
"He's very much the gentleman."
I couldn't but smile. "He's ALL--"
At this moment we heard on the terrace a loud harsh cry. "It's
the great peacock!" said Miss Searle, stepping to the window and
passing out while I followed her. Below us, leaning on the
parapet, stood our appreciative friend with his arm round the
neck of the setter. Before him on the grand walk strutted the
familiar fowl of gardens--a splendid specimen--with ruffled neck
and expanded tail. The other dog had apparently indulged in a
momentary attempt to abash the gorgeous biped, but at Searle's
summons had bounded back to the terrace and leaped upon the
ledge, where he now stood licking his new friend's face. The
scene had a beautiful old-time air: the peacock flaunting in the
foreground like the genius of stately places; the broad terrace,
which flattered an innate taste of mine for all deserted walks
where people may have sat after heavy dinners to drink coffee in
old Sevres and where the stiff brocade of women's dresses may
have rustled over grass or gravel; and far around us, with one
leafy circle melting into another, the timbered acres of the
park. "The very beasts have made him welcome," I noted as we
rejoined our companion.
"The peacock has done for you, Mr. Searle," said his cousin,
"what he does only for very great people. A year ago there came
here a great person--a grand old lady--to see my brother. I don't
think that since then he has spread his tail as wide for any one
else--not by a dozen feathers."
"It's not alone the peacock," said Searle. "Just now there came
slipping across my path a little green lizard, the first I ever
saw, the lizard of literature! And if you've a ghost, broad
daylight though it be, I expect to see him here. Do you know the
annals of your house, Miss Searle?"
"Oh dear, no! You must ask my brother for all those things."
"You ought to have a collection of legends and traditions. You
ought to have loves and murders and mysteries by the roomful. I
shall be ashamed of you if you haven't."
"Oh Mr. Searle! We've always been a very well-behaved family,"
she quite seriously pleaded. "Nothing out of the way has ever
happened, I think."
"Nothing out of the way? Oh that won't do! We've managed better
than that in America. Why I myself!"--and he looked at her
ruefully enough, but enjoying too his idea that he might embody
the social scandal or point to the darkest drama of the Searles.
"Suppose I should turn out a better Searle than you--better than
you nursed here in romance and extravagance? Come, don't
disappoint me. You've some history among you all, you've some
poetry, you've some accumulation of legend. I've been famished
all my days for these things. Don't you understand? Ah you can't
understand! Tell me," he rambled on, "something tremendous. When
I think of what must have happened here; of the lovers who must
have strolled on this terrace and wandered under the beeches, of
all the figures and passions and purposes that must have haunted
these walls! When I think of the births and deaths, the joys and
sufferings, the young hopes and the old regrets, the rich
experience of life--!" He faltered a moment with the increase of
his agitation. His humour of dismay at a threat of the
commonplace in the history he felt about him had turned to a
deeper reaction. I began to fear however that he was really
losing his head. He went on with a wilder play. "To see it all
called up there before me, if the Devil alone could do it I'd
make a bargain with the Devil! Ah Miss Searle," he cried, "I'm a
most unhappy man!"
"Oh dear, oh dear!" she almost wailed while I turned half away.
"Look at that window, that dear little window!" I turned back to
see him point to a small protruding oriel, above us, relieved
against the purple brickwork, framed in chiselled stone and
curtained with ivy.
"It's my little room," she said.
"Of course it's a woman's room. Think of all the dear faces--all
of them so mild and yet so proud--that have looked out of that
lattice, and of all the old-time women's lives whose principal
view of the world has been this quiet park! Every one of them was
a cousin of mine. And you, dear lady, you're one of them yet."
With which he marched toward her and took her large white hand.
She surrendered it, blushing to her eyes and pressing her other
hand to her breast. "You're a woman of the past. You're nobly
simple. It has been a romance to see you. It doesn't matter what
I say to you. You didn't know me yesterday, you'll not know me
to-morrow. Let me to-day do a mad sweet thing. Let me imagine in
you the spirit of all the dead women who have trod the terrace-
flags that lie here like sepulchral tablets in the pavement of a
church. Let me say I delight in you!"--he raised her hand to his
lips. She gently withdrew it and for a moment averted her face.
Meeting her eyes the next instant I saw the tears had come. The
Sleeping Beauty was awake.
There followed an embarrassed pause. An issue was suddenly
presented by the appearance of the butler bearing a letter. "A
telegram, Miss," he announced.
"Oh what shall I do?" cried Miss Searle. "I can't open a
telegram. Cousin, help me."
Searle took the missive, opened it and read aloud: "I shall be
home to dinner. Keep the American."
III
"KEEP the American!" Miss Searle, in compliance with the
injunction conveyed in her brother's telegram (with something
certainly of telegraphic curtness), lost no time in expressing
the pleasure it would give her that our friend should remain.
"Really you must," she said; and forthwith repaired to the house-
keeper to give orders for the preparation of a room.
"But how in the world did he know of my being here?" my companion
put to me.
I answered that he had probably heard from his solicitor of the
other's visit. "Mr. Simmons and that gentleman must have had
another interview since your arrival in England. Simmons, for
reasons of his own, has made known to him your journey to this
neighbourhood, and Mr. Searle, learning this, has immediately
taken for granted that you've formally presented yourself to his
sister. He's hospitably inclined and wishes her to do the proper
thing by you. There may even," I went on, "be more in it than
that. I've my little theory that he's the very phoenix of
usurpers, that he has been very much struck with what the experts
have had to say for you, and that he wishes to have the
originality of making over to you your share--so limited after
all--of the estate."
"I give it up!" my friend mused. "Come what come will!"
"You, of course," said Miss Searle, reappearing and turning to
me, "are included in my brother's invitation. I've told them to
see about a room for you. Your luggage shall immediately be sent
for."
It was arranged that I in person should be driven over to our
little inn and that I should return with our effects in time to
meet Mr. Searle at dinner. On my arrival several hours later I
was immediately conducted to my room. The servant pointed out to
me that it communicated by a door and a private passage with that
of my fellow visitor. I made my way along this passage--a low
narrow corridor with a broad latticed casement through which
there streamed upon a series of grotesquely sculptured oaken
closets and cupboards the vivid animating glow of the western sun
--knocked at his door and, getting no answer, opened it. In an
armchair by the open window sat my friend asleep, his arms and
legs relaxed and head dropped on his breast. It was a great
relief to see him rest thus from his rhapsodies, and I watched
him for some moments before waking him. There was a faint glow of
colour in his cheek and a light expressive parting of his lips,
something nearer to ease and peace than I had yet seen in him. It
was almost happiness, it was almost health. I laid my hand on his
arm and gently shook it. He opened his eyes, gazed at me a
moment, vaguely recognised me, then closed them again. "Let me
dream, let me dream!"
"What are you dreaming about?"
A moment passed before his answer came. "About a tall woman in a
quaint black dress, with yellow hair and a sweet, sweet smile,
and a soft low delicious voice! I'm in love with her."
"It's better to see her than to dream about her," I said. "Get up
and dress; then we'll go down to dinner and meet her."
"Dinner--dinner--?" And he gradually opened his eyes again. "Yes,
upon my word I shall dine!"
"Oh you're all right!" I declared for the twentieth time as he
rose to his feet. "You'll live to bury Mr. Simmons." He told me
he had spent the hours of my absence with Miss Searle--they had
strolled together half over the place. "You must be very
intimate," I smiled.
"She's intimate with ME. Goodness knows what rigmarole I've
treated her to!" They had parted an hour ago; since when, he
believed, her brother had arrived.
The slow-fading twilight was still in the great drawing-room when
we came down. The housekeeper had told us this apartment was
rarely used, there being others, smaller and more convenient, for
the same needs. It seemed now, however, to be occupied in my
comrade's honour. At the furthest end, rising to the roof like a
royal tomb in a cathedral, was a great chimney-piece of chiselled
white marble, yellowed by time, in which a light fire was
crackling. Before the fire stood a small short man, with his
hands behind him; near him was Miss Searle, so transformed by her
dress that at first I scarcely knew her. There was in our
entrance and reception something remarkably chilling and solemn.
We moved in silence up the long room; Mr. Searle advanced slowly,
a dozen steps, to meet us; his sister stood motionless. I was
conscious of her masking her visage with a large white tinselled
fan, and that her eyes, grave and enlarged, watched us intently
over the top of it. The master of Lackley grasped in silence the
proffered hand of his kinsman and eyed him from head to foot,
suppressing, I noted, a start of surprise at his resemblance to
Sir Joshua's portrait. "This is a happy day." And then turning to
me with an odd little sharp stare: "My cousin's friend is my
friend." Miss Searle lowered her fan.
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