Books: Heather and Snow
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George MacDonald >> Heather and Snow
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When at length he seemed to have almost recovered his health, it was
clear that he had in great measure lost his reason.
CHAPTER XXXI
KIRSTY SHOWS RESENTMENT
Things were going from bad to worse at castle Weelset. Whether Mrs.
Gordon had disgusted her friends or got tired of them, I do not know,
but she remained at home, seldom had a visitor, and never a guest.
Rumour, busy in country as in town, said she was more and more
manifesting herself a slave to strong drink. She was so tired of
herself, that, to escape her double, she made it increasingly a bore to
her. She never read a book, never had a newspaper sent her, never
inquired how things were going on about the place or in any part of the
world, did nothing for herself or others, only ate, drank, slept, and
raged at those around her.
One morning David Barclay, having occasion to see the factor, went to
the castle, and finding he was at home ill, thought he would make an
attempt to see Mrs. Gordon, and offer what service he could render: she
might not have forgotten that in old days he had been a good deal about
the estate. She received him at once, but behaved in such extraordinary
fashion that he could not have any doubt she was at least half-drunk:
there was no sense, David said, either to be got out of her, or put
into her.
At Corbyknowe they heard nothing of the young laird. The papers said a
good deal about the state of things in India, but Francis Gordon was
not mentioned.
In the autumn of the year 1858, when the days were growing short and
the nights cold in the high region about the Horn, the son of a
neighbouring farmer, who had long desired to know Kirsty better, called
at Corbyknowe with his sister, ostensibly on business with David. They
were shown into the parlour, and all were sitting together in the early
gloamin, the young woman bent on persuading Kirsty to pay them a visit
and see the improvements they had made in house and garden, and the two
farmers lamenting the affairs of the property on which they were
tenants.
'But I hear there's new grief like to come to the auld lairdship,' said
William Lammie, as he sat with an elbow on the tea-table whence Kirsty
was removing the crumbs.
'And what may the wisdom o' the country-side be puttin furth the noo?'
asked David in a tone of good-humoured irony. 'Weel, as I hear,
Mistress Comrie's been to Embro' for a week or twa, and's come hame wi'
a gey queer story concernin the young laird--awa oot there whaur
there's been sic a rumpus wi' the h'athen so'diers. There's word come,
she says, 'at he's fa'en intil the verra glaur o' disgrace, funkin at
something they set him til: na, he wudna! And they hed him afore a
coort-mairtial as they ca' 't, and broucht it in, she says, bare
cooardice, and jist broke him. He'll hae ill shawin the face o' 'm
again i' 's ain calf-country!'
'It's a lee,' said Kirsty. 'I s' tak my aith o' that, whaever took the
tellin o' 't. There never was mark o' cooard upo' Francie Gordon. He
hed his fauts, but no ane o' them luikit that gait. He was a kin' o'
saft-like whiles, and unco easy come ower, but, haein little fear
mysel, I ken a cooard whan I see him. Something may hae set up his
pride--he has eneuch o' that for twa deevils--but Francie was never nae
cooard!'
'Dinna lay the lee at my door, I beg o' ye, Miss Barclay. I was but
tellin ye what fowk was saying.'
'Fowk's aye sayin, and seldom sayin true. The warst o' 't is 'at honest
fowk's aye ready to believe leears! They dinna lee themsel's, and sae
it's no easy to them to think anither wad. Thereby the fause word has
free coorse and is glorifeed! They're no a' leears 'at spreads the lee;
but for them 'at maks the lee, the Lord silence them!'
'Hoots, Kirsty,' said her mother, 'it disna become ye to curse naebody!
It's no richt o' ye.'
'It's a guid Bible-curse, mother! It's but a w'y o' sayin "His wull be
dune!"'
'Ye needna be sae fell aboot the laird, Miss Barclay! He was nae
partic'lar frien o' yours gien a' tales be true!' remarked her admirer.
'I'm tellin ye tales is maistly lees. I hae kenned the laird sin' he
was a wee laddie--and afore that; and I'm no gaein to hear him leed
upo' and haud my tongue! A lee's a lee whether the leear be a leear or
no!--I hae dune.'
She did not speak another word to him save to bid him good-night.
In the beginning of the year, a rumour went about the country that the
laird had been seen at the castle, but it died away.
David pondered, but asked no questions, and Mrs. Bremner volunteered no
information.
Kirsty of course heard the rumour, but she never took much interest in
the goings on at the castle. Mrs. Gordon's doings were not such as the
angels desire to look into; and Kirsty, not distantly related to them,
and inheriting a good many of their peculiarities, minded her own
business.
CHAPTER XXXII
IN THE WORKSHOP
One night in the month of January, when the snow was falling thick, but
the air, because of the cloud-blankets overhead, was not piercing,
Kirsty went out to the workshop to tell her father that supper was
ready. David was a Jack-of-all-trades--therein resembling a sailor
rather than a soldier, and by the light of a single dip was busy with
some bit of carpenter's work.
He did not raise his head when she entered, and heard her as if he did
not hear. She wondered a little and waited. After a few moments of
silence, he said quietly, without looking up--
'Are ye awaur o' onything by ord'nar, Kirsty?
'Na, naething, father,' answered Kirsty, wondering still.
'It's been beirin 'tsel in upo' me at my bench here, 'at Steenie's
aboot the place the nicht. I canna help imaiginin he's been upo' this
verra flure ower and ower again sin' I cam oot, as gien he wad fain say
something, but cudna, and gaed awa again.'
'Think ye he's here at this moment, father?'
'Na, he's no.'
'He used to think whiles the bonny man was aboot!' said Kirsty
reflectively.
'My mother was a hielan wuman, and hed the second sicht; there was no
mainner o' doobt aboot it!' remarked David, also thoughtfully.
'And what wad ye draw frae that, father?' asked Kirsty.
'Ow, naething verra important, maybe, but just 'at possibly it micht be
i' the faimily!'
'I wud like to ken yer verra thoucht, father!'
'Weel, it's jist this: I'm thinkin 'at some may be nearer the deid nor
ithers.'
'And, maybe,' supplemented Kirsty, 'some o' the deid may win nearer the
livin nor ithers!'
'Ay, that's it! that's the haill o' 't!' answered David.
Kirsty turned her face toward the farthest corner. The place was rather
large, and everywhere dark except within the narrow circle of the
candle-light. In a quiet voice, with a little quaver in it, she said
aloud:
'Gien ye be here, Steenie, and hae the pooer, lat's ken gien there be
onything lyin til oor han' 'at ye wuss dune. I'm sure, gien there be,
it's for oor sakes and no for yer ain, glaid as we wud a' be to du
onything for ye: the bonny man lats ye want for naething; we're sure o'
that!'
'Ay are we, Steenie,' assented his father.
No voice came from the darkness. They stood silent for a while. Then
David said:
'Gang in, lassie; yer mother 'll be won'erin what's come o' ye. I'll be
in in a meenit. I hae jist the last stroke to gie this bit jobby.'
CHAPTER XXXIII
A RACE WITH DEATH
Without a word, but with disappointment in her heart that Steenie had
not answered them, Kirsty obeyed. But she went round through the
rickyard that she might have a moment's thought with herself. Not a
hand was laid upon her out of the darkness, no faintest sound came to
her ears through the silently falling snow. But as she took her way
between two ricks, where was just room for her to pass, she felt--felt,
however, without the slightest sense of _material_ opposition, that she
could not go through. Endeavouring afterward to describe what rather
she was aware of than felt, she said the nearest she could come to it,
but it was not right, was to say that she seemed to encounter the ghost
of solidity. Certainly nothing seemed to touch her. She made no attempt
to overcome the resistance, and the moment she turned, knew herself
free to move in any other direction. But as the house was still her
goal, she tried another space between two of the ricks. There again she
found she could not pass. Making a third essay in yet another interval,
she was once more stopped in like fashion. With that came the
conviction that she was wanted elsewhere, and with it the thought of
the Horn. She turned her face from the house and made straight for the
hill, only that she took, as she had generally done with Steenie, the
easier and rather longer way.
The notion of the presence of Steenie, which had been with her all the
time, naturally suggested his house as the spot where she was wanted,
and thither she sped. But the moment she reached, almost before she
entered it, she felt as if it were utterly empty--as if it had not in
it even air enough to give her breath.
When a place seems to repel us, when we feel as if we could not live
there, what if the cause be that there are no souls in it making it
comfortable to the spiritual sense? That the _knowledge_ of such
presence would make most people uneasy, is no argument against the
fancy: truth itself, its intrinsic, essential, necessary trueness
unrecognised, must be repellent.
Kirsty did not remain a moment in Steenie's house, but set her face to
go home by the shorter and rougher path leading over the earth-house
and across the little burn.
The night continued dark, with an occasional thinning of the obscurity
when some high current blew the clouds aside from a little nest of
stars. Just as Kirsty reached the descent to the burn, the snow ceased,
the clouds parted, and a faint worn moon appeared. She looked just like
a little old lady too thin and too tired to go on living more than a
night longer. But her waning life was yet potent over Kirsty, and her
strange, wasted beauty, dying to rise again, made her glad as she went
down the hill through the snow-crowned heather. The oppression which
came on her in Steenie's house was gone entirely, and in the face of
the pale ancient moon her heart grew so light that she broke into a
silly song which, while they were yet children, she made for Steenie,
who was never tired of listening to it:
Willy, wally, woo!
Hame comes the coo--
Hummle, bummle, moo!--
Widin ower the Bogie,
Hame to fill the cogie!
Bonny hummle coo,
Wi' her baggy fu'
O' butter and o' milk,
And cream as saft as silk,
A' gethered frae the gerse
Intil her tassly purse,
To be oors, no hers,
Gudewillie, hummle coo!
Willy, wally, woo!
Moo, Hummlie, moo!
Singing this childish rime, dear to the slow-waking soul of Steenie,
she had come almost to the bottom of the hill, was just stepping over
the top of tho weem, when something like a groan startled her. She
stopped and sent a keen-searching glance around. It came again, muffled
and dull. It must be from the earth-house! Somebody was there! It could
not be Steenie, for why should Steenie groan? But he might be calling
her, and the weem changing the character of the sound! Anyhow she must
be wanted! She dived in.
She could scarcely light the candle, for the trembling of her hand and
the beating of her heart. Slowly the flame grew, and the glimmer began
to spread. She stood speechless, and stared. Out of the darkness at her
feet grew the form, as it seemed, of Steenie, lying on his face, just
as when she found him there year before. She dropped on her knees
beside him.
He was alive at least, for he moved! 'Of course,' thought Kirsty, 'he's
alive: he never was anything else!' His face was turned from her, and
his arm was under it. The arm next her lay out on the stones, and she
took the ice-cold hand in hers: it was not Steenie's! She took the
candle, and leaned across to see the face. God in heaven! there was the
mark of her whip: it was Francie Gordon! She tried to rouse him. She
could not; he was cold as ice, and seemed all but dead. But for the
groan she had heard she would have been sure he was dead. She blew out
the light, and, swift as her hands could move, took garment after
garment off, and laid it, warm from her live heart, over and under
him--all save one which she thought too thin to do him any good. Last
of all, she drew her stockings over his hands and arms, and, leaving
her shoes where Steenie's had lain, darted out of the cave. At the
mouth of it she rose erect like one escaped from the tomb, and sped
in dim-gleaming whiteness over the snow, scarce to have been seen
against it. The moon was but a shred--a withered autumn leaf low fallen
toward the dim plain of the west. As she ran she would have seemed to
one of Steenie's angels, out that night on the hill, a newly disembodied
ghost fleeing home. Swift and shadowless as the thought of her own brave
heart, she ran. Her sense of power and speed was glorious. She felt--not
thought--herself a human goddess, the daughter of the Eternal. Up
height and down hollow she flew, running her race with death, not an
open eye, save the eyes of her father and mother, within miles of her
in a world of sleep and snow and night. Nor did she slacken her pace as
she drew near the house, she only ran more softly. At last she threw
the door to the wall, and shot up the steep stair to her room, calling
her mother as she went.
CHAPTER XXXIV
BACK FROM THE GRAVE
When David came in to supper, he said nothing, expecting Kirsty every
moment to appear. Marion was the first to ask what had become of her.
David answered she had left him in the workshop.
'Bless the bairn! what can she be aboot this time o' nicht?' said her
mother.
'I kenna,' returned David.
When they had sat eating their supper for ten minutes, vainly expecting
her, David went out to look for her. Returning unsuccessful, he found
that Marion had sought her all over the house with like result. Then
they became uneasy.
Before going to look for her, however, David had begun to suspect her
absence in one way or another connected with the subject of their
conversation in the workshop, to which he had not for the moment meant
to allude. When now he told his wife what had passed, he was a little
surprised to find that immediately she grew calm.
'Ow, than, she'll be wi' Steenie!' she said.
Nor did her patience fail, but revived that of her husband. They could
not, however, go to bed, but sat by the fire, saying a word or two now
and then. The slow minutes passed, and neither of them moved save David
once to put on peats.
The house-door flew open suddenly, and they heard Kirsty cry, 'Mother,
mother!' but when they hastened to the door, no one was there. They
heard the door of her room close, however, and Marion went up the
stair. By the time she reached it, Kirsty was in a thick petticoat and
buttoned-up cloth-jacket, had a pair of shoes on her bare feet, and was
glowing a 'celestial rosy-red.' David stood where he was, and in half a
minute Kirsty came in three leaps down the stair to him, to say that
Francie was lying in the weem. In less than a minute the old soldier
was out with the stable-lantern, harnessing one of the horses, the
oldest in the stable, good at standing, and not a bad walker. He called
for no help, yet was round at the door so speedily as to astonish even
Kirsty, who stood with her mother in the entrance by a pile of bedding.
They put a mattress in the bottom of the cart, and plenty of blankets.
Kirsty got in, lay down and covered herself up, to make the rough
ambulance warm, and David drove off. They soon reached the _weem_ and
entered it.
The moment Kirsty had lighted the candle,
'Lassie,' cried David, 'there's been a wuman here!'
'It luiks like it,' answered Kirsty: 'I was here mysel, father!'
'Ay, ay! of coorse, but here's claes--woman's claes! Whaur cam they
frae? Wha's claes can they be?'
'Wha's but mine?' returned Kirsty, as she stooped to remove from his
face the garment that covered his head.
'The Lord preserve 's!--to the verra stockins upo' the han's o' 'm!'
'I had no dreid, father, o' the Lord seem me as he made me!'
'Lassie,' cried David, with heartfelt admiration, 'ye sud hae been
dother til a field-mershall.'
'I wudna be dother til a king!' returned Kirsty. 'Gien I bed to be born
again, I wudna be born 'cep it was to Dauvid Barclay.'
'My ain lassie!' murmured her father. 'But, eh,' he added, interrupting
his own thoughts, 'we maun hand oor tongues till we've dune the thing
we're sent to du!'
They bent at once to their task.
David was a strong man still, and Kirsty was as good at a lift as most
men. They had no difficulty in raising Gordon between them, David
taking his head and Kirsty his feet, but it was not without difficulty
they got him through the passage. In the cart they covered him so that,
had he been a new-born baby, he could have taken no harm except it were
by suffocation, and then, Kirsty sitting with his head in her lap, they
drove home as fast as the old horse could step out.
In the meantime Marion had got her best room ready, and warm. When they
reached it, Francie was certainly still alive, and they made haste to
lay him in the hot feather-bed. In about an hour they thought he
swallowed a little milk. Neither Kirsty nor her parents went to bed
that night, and by one or other of them the patient was constantly
attended.
Kirsty took the first watch, and was satisfied that his breathing grew
more regular, and by and by stronger. After a while it became like that
of one in a troubled sleep. He moved his head a little, and murmured
like one dreaming painfully. She called her father, and told him he was
saying words she could not understand. He took her place and sat near
him, when presently his soldier-ears, still sharp, heard indications of
a hot siege. Once he started up on his elbow, and put his hand to the
side of his head. For a moment he looked wildly awake, then sank back
and went to sleep again.
As Marion was by him in the morning, all at once he spoke again, and
more plainly.
'Go away, mother!' he said. 'I am not mad. I am only troubled in my
mind. I will tell my father you killed me.'
Marion tried to rouse him, telling him his mother should not come near
him. He did not seem to understand, but apparently her words soothed
him, for he went to sleep once more.
He was gaunt and ghastly to look at. The scar on his face, which Kirsty
had taken for the mark of her whip, but which was left by the splinter
that woke him, remained red and disfiguring. But the worst of his look
was in his eyes, whose glances wandered about uneasy and searching. It
was clear all was not right with his brain. I doubt if any other of his
tenants would have recognized him.
For a good many days he was like one awake yet dreaming, always
dreading something, invariably starting when the door opened, and when
quietest would lie gazing at the one by his bedside as if puzzled. He
took in general what food they brought him, but at times refused it
quite. They never left him alone for more than a moment.
So far were they from giving him up to his mother, that the mere idea
of letting her know he was with them never entered the mind of one of
them. To the doctor, whom at once they had called in, there was no need
to explain the right by which they constituted themselves his
guardians: anyone would have judged it better for him to be with them
than with her. David said to himself that when Francie wanted to leave
them he should go; but he had sought refuge with them, and he should
have it: nothing should make him give him up except legal compulsion.
CHAPTER XXXV
FRANCIS COMES TO HIMSELF
One morning, Kirsty sitting beside him, Francis started to his elbow as
if to get up, then seeing her, lay down again with his eyes fixed upon
her. She glanced at him now and then, but would not seem to notice him
much. He gazed for two or three minutes, and then said, in a low,
doubtful, almost timid, voice,
'Kirsty?'
'Ay; what is't, Francie?' returned Kirsty.
'Is't yersel, Kirsty?' he said.
'Ay, wha ither, Francie!'
'Are ye angry at me, Kirsty?'
'No a grain. What gars ye speir sic a queston?'
'Eh, but ye gae me sic a are wi' yer whup--jist here upo' the haffit!
Luik.'
He turned the side of his head toward her, and stroked the place, like
a small, self-pitying child. Kirsty went to him, and kissed it like a
mother. She had plainly perceived that such a scar could not be from
her blow, but it added grievously to her pain at the remembrance of it
that the poor head which she had struck, had in the very same place
been torn by a splinter--for so the doctor said. If her whip left any
mark, the splinter had obliterated it.
'And syne,' he resumed, 'ye ca'd me a cooard!'
'Did I du that, ill wuman 'at I was!' she returned, with tenderest
maternal soothing.
He laid his arms round her neck, drew her feebly toward him, hid his
head on her bosom, and wept.
Kirsty put her arm round him, held him closer, and stroked his head
with her other hand, murmuring words of much meaning though little
sense. He drew back his head, looked at her beseechingly, and said,
'_Div_ ye think me a cooard, Kirsty?'
'No wi' men,' answered the truthful girl, who would not lie even in
ministration to a mind diseased.
'Maybe ye think I oucht to hae strucken ye back whan ye strack me? I
_wull_ be a cooard than, lat ye say what ye like. I never did, and I
never will hit a lassie, lat her kill me!'
'It wasna that, Francie. Gien I ca'd ye a cooard, it was 'at ye behaved
sae ill to Phemy.'
'Eh, the bonny little Phemy! I had 'maist forgotten her! Hoo is she,
Kirsty?'
'She's weel--and verra weel,' answered Kirsty; 'she's deid.'
'Deid!' echoed Gordon, with a cry, again raising himself on his elbow.
'Surely it wasna--it wasna 'at the puir wee thing cudna forget me! The
thing's no possible! I wasna worth it!'
'Na, na; it wasna ae grain that! Her deein had naething to du wi that--
nor wi you in ony w'y. I dinna believe she was a hair waur for ony
nonsense ye said til her--shame o' ye as it was! She dee'd upo' the
Horn, ae awfu' tempest o' a nicht. She cudna hae suffert lang, puir
thing! She hadna the stren'th to suffer muckle. Sae awa she gaed!--and
Steenie efter her!' added Kirsty in a lower tone, but Francis did not
seem to hear, and said no more for awhile.
'But I maun tell ye the trowth, Kirsty,' he resumed: 'forby yersel,
there's them 'at says I'm a cooard!'
'I h'ard ae man say't, only ane, and him only ance.'
'And ye said til 'im, "Ay, I hae lang kenned that!"
'I tellt him whaever said it was a leear!'
'But ye believt it yersel, Kirsty!'
'Wad ye hae me leear and hypocrite forby, to ca' fowk ill names for
sayin what I believt mysel!'
'But I _am_ a cooard, Kirsty!'
'Ye are _not_, Francie. I wunna believe't though yersel say 't! It's
naething but a dist o' styte and nonsense 'at's won in throu the cracks
ye got i' yer heid, fechtin. Ye was aye a daft kin' o' a cratur,
Francie! Gien onybody ever said it, mak ye speed and get yer health
again, and syne ye can shaw him plain 'at he's a leear.'
'But I tell ye, Kirsty, I ran awa!'
'I fancy ye wud hae been naething but a muckle idiot gien ye hadna!--Ye
didna ley onybody in trouble!--did ye noo?'
'No a sowl 'at I ken o'. Na, I didna do that. The fac was--but nae
blame to them--they a' gaed awa and left me my lane, sleepin. I maun
hae been terrible tired.'
'I telled ye sae!' cried Kirsty. 'Jist gang ower the story to me,
Francie, and I s' tell ye whether ye're a cooard or no. I dinna believe
a stime o' 't! Ye never was, and never was likly to be a cooard. I s'
be at the boddom o' 't wi' whaever daur threpe me sic a lee!'
But Francis showed such signs of excitement as well as exhaustion, that
Kirsty saw she must not let him talk longer.
'Or I'll tell ye what!' she added: '--ye'll tell father and mother and
me the haill tale, this verra nicht, or maybe the morn's mornin. Ye
maun hae an egg noo, and a drappy o' milk--creamy milk, Francie! Ye aye
likit that!'
She went and prepared the little meal, and after taking it he went to
sleep.
In the evening, with the help of their questioning, he told them
everything he could recall from the moment he woke to find the place
abandoned, not omitting his terrors on the way, until he overtook the
rear of the garrison.
'I dinna won'er ye was fleyt, Francie,' said Kirsty. 'I wud hae been
fleyt mysel, wantin my swoord, and kennin nae God to trust til! Ye maun
learn to ken _him_, Francie, and syne ye'll be feart at naething!'
After that, his memory was only of utterly confused shapes, many of
which must have been fancies. The only things he could report were the
conviction pervading them all that he had disgraced himself, and the
consciousness that everyone treated him as a deserter, and gave him the
cold shoulder.
His next recollection was of coming home to, or rather finding himself
with his mother, who, the moment she saw him, flew into a rage, struck
him in the face, and called him coward. She must have taken him, he
thought, to some place where there were people about him who would not
let him alone, but he could remember nothing more until he found
himself creeping into a hole which he seemed to know, thinking he was a
fox with the hounds after him.
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