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Books: Mr. Midshipman Easy

F >> Frederick Marryat >> Mr. Midshipman Easy




"I think," replied the Doctor, "that you will have some trouble. You
know the character of the butler."

"Yes, I have it from my father's own mouth. I really should take it as
a great favour, Dr Middleton, if you could stay here a day or two. I
know that you have retired from practice."

"I would have made the same offer, my young friend. I will come here
with two of my servants; for you must discharge these."

"I have one of my own who is worth his weight in gold--that will be
sufficient. I will dismiss every man you think I ought; and as for
the women, we can give them warning, and replace them at leisure."

"That is exactly what I should propose," replied the Doctor. "I will
now go, if you please; procure the assistance of a couple of
constables, and also of your father's former legal adviser, who shall
prepare a power of attorney."

"Yes," replied Jack, "and we must then find out the tenants who refuse
to pay upon the principles of equality, and he shall serve them with
notice immediately."

"I am rejoiced, my dear young friend, to perceive that your father's
absurd notions have not taken root."

"They lasted some time, nevertheless, Doctor," replied Jack, laughing.

"Well, then, I will only quit you for an hour or two, and then, as you
wish it, will take up my quarters here as long as you find me useful."

In the forenoon, Dr Middleton again made his appearance, accompanied
by Mr Hanson, the solicitor, bringing with him his portmanteau and his
servants. Mr Easy had come into the parlour, and was at breakfast
when they entered. He received them very coolly; but a little
judicious praise of the wonderful invention had its due effect; and
after Jack had reminded him of his promise that, in future, he was to
control the household, he was easily persuaded to sign the order for
his so doing--that is, the power of attorney.

Mr Easy also gave up to Jack the key of his escritoire, and Mr Hanson
possessed himself of the books, papers, and receipts necessary to
ascertain the state of his affairs, and the rents which had not yet
been paid up. In the meantime the constables arrived. The servants
were all summoned; Mr Hanson showed them the power of attorney,
empowering Jack to act for his father, and, in less than half an hour
afterwards, all the men-servants, but two grooms, were dismissed; the
presence of the constables and Mesty prevented any resistance, but not
without various threats on the part of the butler, whose name was
O'Rourke. Thus, in twenty-four hours, Jack had made a reformation in
the household.

Mr Easy took no notice of anything; he returned to his study and his
wonderful invention. Mesty had received the keys of the cellar, and
had now complete control over those who remained. Dr Middleton, Mr
Hanson, Mr Easy, and Jack, sat down to dinner, and everything wore the
appearance of order and comfort. Mr Easy ate very heartily, but said
nothing till after dinner, when as was his usual custom, he commenced
arguing upon the truth and soundness of his philosophy.

"By-the-bye, my dear son, if I recollect right, you told me last night
that you were no longer of my opinion. Now, if you please, we will
argue this point."

"I'll argue the point with all my heart, sir," replied Jack, "will you
begin?"

"Let's fill our glasses," cried Mr Easy, triumphantly; "let's fill our
glasses, and then I will bring Jack back to the proper way of
thinking. Now then, my son, I trust you will not deny that we are all
born equal."

"I do deny it, sir," replied Jack; "I deny it in toto--deny it from
the evidence of our own senses, and from the authority of Scripture.
To suppose all men were born equal, is to suppose that they are
equally endowed with the same strength, and with the same capacity of
mind, which we know is not the case. I deny it from Scripture, from
which I could quote many passages; but I will restrict myself to one--
the parable of the Talents: 'To one he gave five talents, to another
but one,' holding them responsible for the trust reposed in them. We
are all intended to fill various situations in society, and are
provided by Heaven accordingly."

"That may be," replied Mr Easy; "but that does not prove that the
earth was not intended to be equally distributed among all alike."

"I beg your pardon; the proof that that was not the intention of
Providence, is that that equality, allowing it to be put in practice,
could never be maintained."

"Not maintained!--no, because the strong oppress the weak, tyrants
rise up and conquer--men combine to do wrong."

"Not so, my dear father; I say it could not be maintained without the
organisation of each individual had been equalised, and several other
points established. For instance, allowing that every man had, ab
origins, a certain portion of ground. He who was the strongest or the
cleverest would soon cause his to yield more than others would, and
thus the equality be destroyed. Again, if one couple had ten children
and another had none, then again would equality be broken in upon, as
the land that supports two in the one instance, would have to feed
twelve in the other. You perceive, therefore, that without rapine or
injustice, your equality could not be preserved."

"But, Jack, allowing that there might be some diversity from such
causes, that would be a very different thing from the present
monstrous state of society, in which we have kings and lords, and
people, rolling in wealth, while others are in a state of pauperism,
and obliged to steal for their daily bread."

"My dear father, I consider that it is to this inequality that society
owes its firmest cementation--that we are enabled to live in peace and
happiness, protected by just laws, each doing his duty in that state
of life to which he is called, rising above or sinking in the scale of
society according as he has been entrusted with the five talents or
the one. Equality can and does exist nowhere. We are told that it
does not exist in heaven itself--how can it exist upon earth?"

"But that is only asserted, Jack, and it is not proof that it ought
not to exist."

"Let us argue the point, father, coolly. Let us examine a little what
would be the effect if all was equality. Were all equal in beauty
there would be no beauty, for beauty is only by comparison--were all
equal in strength, conflicts would be interminable--were all equal in
rank, and power, and possessions, the greatest charms of existence
would be destroyed--generosity, gratitude, and half the finer virtues
would be unknown. The first principle of our religion, charity, could
not be practised--pity would never be called forth--benevolence, your
great organ, would be useless, and self-denial a blank letter. Were
all equal in ability, there would be no instruction, no talent, no
genius--nothing to admire, nothing to copy, to respect--nothing to
rouse emulation, or stimulate to praiseworthy ambition. Why, my dear
father, what an idle, unprofitable, weary world would this be, if it
were based on equality!"

"But, allowing all that, Jack," replied Mr Easy, "and I will say you
argue well in a bad cause, why should the inequality be carried so
far--king and lords, for instance?"

"The most lasting and imperishable form of building is that of the
pyramid, which defies ages, and to that may the most perfect form of
society be compared. It is based upon the many, and rising by
degrees, it becomes less as wealth, talent, and rank increase in the
individual, until it ends at the apex or monarch, above all. Yet each
several stone from the apex to the base is necessary for the
preservation of the structure, and fulfils its duty in its allotted
place. Could you prove that those at the summit possess the greatest
share of happiness in this world, then, indeed, you have a position to
argue on; but it is well known that such is not the case; and provided
he is of a contented mind, the peasant is more happy than the king,
surrounded as the latter is by cares and anxiety."

"Very well argued, indeed, my dear sir," observed Dr Middleton.

"But, my dear boy, there are other states of society than monarchy; we
have republics and despotisms."

"We have, but how long do they last compared to the first? There is a
cycle in the changes which never varies. A monarchy may be overthrown
by a revolution, and republicanism succeed, but that is shortly
followed by despotism, till, after a time, monarchy succeeds again by
unanimous consent, as the most legitimate and equitable form of
government; but in none of these do you find a single advance to
equality. In a republic, those who govern are more powerful than the
rulers in a restricted monarchy--a president is greater than a king,
and next to a despot, whose will is law. Even in small societies you
find, that some will naturally take the lead and assume domination. We
commence the system at school, when we are first thrown into society,
and there we are taught systems of petty tyranny. There are some few
points in which we obtain equality in this world, and that equality
can only be obtained under a well-regulated form of society, and
consists in an equal administration of justice and of laws, to which
we have agreed to submit for the benefit of the whole--the equal right
to live and not be permitted to starve, which has been obtained in
this country. And when we are called to account, we shall have equal
justice. Now my dear father, you have my opinion."

"Yes, my dear, this is all very well in the abstract; but how does it
work?"

"It works well. The luxury, the pampered state, the idleness--if you
please, the wickedness--of the rich, all contribute to the support,
the comfort, and employment of the poor. You may behold extravagance
it is a vice; but that very extravagance circulates money, and the
vice of one contributes to the happiness of many. The only vice which
is not redeemed by producing commensurate good, is avarice. If all
were equal, there would be no arts, no manufactures, no industry, no
employment. As it is, the inequality of the distribution of wealth may
be compared to the heart, pouring forth the blood like a steam-engine
through the human frame, the same blood returning from the extremities
by the veins, to be again propelled, and keep up a healthy and
vigorous circulation."

"Bravo, Jack!" said Dr Middleton. "Have you anything to reply, sir?"
continued he, addressing Mr Easy.

"To reply, sir?" replied Mr Easy, with scorn; "why, he has not given
me half an argument yet: why that black servant even laughs at him--
look at him there showing his teeth. Can he forget the horrors of
slavery? can he forget the base unfeeling lash? No, sir, he has
suffered, and he can estimate the divine right of equality. Ask him
now, ask him, if you dare, Jack, whether he will admit the truth of
your argument."

"Well, I'll ask him," replied Jack, "and I tell you candidly that he
was once one of your disciples. Mesty, what's your opinion of
equality?"

"Equality, Massa Easy?" replied Mesty, pulling up his cravat; "I say
d--n equality, now I majordomo."

"The rascal deserves to be a slave all his life."

"True, I ab been slave--but I a prince in my own country. Massa Easy
tell how many skulls I have."

"Skulls--skulls--do you know anything of the sublime science? Are you
a phrenologist?"

"I know man's skull very well in Ashantee country, anyhow."

"Then if you know that, you must be one. I had no idea that the
science had extended so far--maybe it was brought from thence. I will
have some talk with you to-morrow. This is very curious. Dr
Middleton, is it not?"

"Very, indeed, Mr Easy."

"I shall feel his head to-morrow after breakfast, and if there is
anything wrong, I shall correct it with my machine. By-the-bye, I
have quite forgot, gentlemen; you will excuse me, but I wish to see
what the carpenter has done for me, and after that I shall attend the
meeting of the society. Jack, my boy, won't you come and hear my
speech?"

"Thank you, sir, but I cannot well leave your friends."

Mr Easy quitted the room.

"Are you aware, my dear sir, that your father has opened his preserves
to all the poachers?" said Mr Hanson.

"The devil he has!"

"Yes, he has allowed several gangs of gipsies to locate themselves in
his woods much to the annoyance of the neighbourhood, who suffer from
their depredations," continued Dr Middleton.

"I find, by the receipts and books, that there is nearly two years
rental of the estate due; some tenants have paid up in full, others
not for four years. I reckon fourteen thousand pounds still in
arrear."

"You will oblige me by taking immediate steps, Mr Hanson, for the
recovery of the sums due."

"Most certainly, Mr John. I trust your father will not commit himself
to-night as he has done lately."

When they rose to retire, Dr Middleton took out, hero by the hand.
"You do not know, my dear fellow, what pleasure it gives me to find
that, in spite of the doting of your mother and the madness of your
father, you have turned out so well. It is very fortunate that you
have come home; I trust you will now give up the profession."

"I have given it up, sir; which, by-the-bye, reminds me that I have
not applied for either my discharge or that of my servant; but I
cannot spare time yet, so I shall not report myself."


CHAPTER XXXVIII

In which our hero finds himself an orphan, and resolves to go to sea
again without the smallest idea of equality.

The next morning, when they met at breakfast, Mr Easy did not make his
appearance, and Jack inquired of Mesty where he was.

"They say down below that the old gentleman not come home last night."

"Did not come home!" said Dr Middleton; "this must be looked to."

"He great rascal, dat butler man," said Mesty to Jack; "but de old
gentleman not sleep in his bed, dat for sure."

"Make enquiries when he went out," said Jack.

"I hope no accident has happened," observed Mr Hanson; "but his
company has lately been very strange."

"Nobody see him go out, sar, last night," reported Mesty.

"Very likely he is in his study," observed Dr Middleton; "he may have
remained all night, fast asleep, by his wonderful invention."

"I'll go and see," replied Jack.

Dr Middleton accompanied him, and Mesty followed. They opened the
door, and beheld a spectacle which made them recoil with horror. There
was Mr Easy, with his head in the machine, the platform below fallen
from under him, hanging, with his toes just touching the ground. Dr
Middleton hastened to him, and, assisted by Mesty and our hero, took
him out of the steel collar which was round his neck: but life had
been extinct for many hours, and, on examination, it was found that
the poor old gentleman's neck was dislocated.

It was surmised that the accident must have taken place the evening
before, and it was easy to account for it. Mr Easy, who had had the
machine raised four feet higher, for the platform and steps to be
placed underneath, must have mounted on the frame modelled by the
carpenter for his work, and have fixed his head in, for the knob was
pressed on his bump of benevolence. The framework, hastily put
together with a few short nails, had given way with his weight, and
the sudden fall had dislocated his neck.

Mr Hanson led away our hero, who was much shocked at this unfortunate
and tragical end of his poor father, while Dr Middleton ordered the
body to be taken up into a bedroom, and immediately despatched a
messenger to the coroner of the county. Poor Mr Easy had told his son
but the day before, that he felt convinced that this wonderful
invention would immortalise him, and so it had, although not exactly
in the sense that he anticipated.

We must pass over the few days of sorrow, and closed shutters, which
always are given to these scenes. The coroner's inquest and the
funeral over, daylight was again admitted, our hero's spirits revived,
and he found himself in possession of a splendid property, and his own
master.

He was not of age, it is true, for he wanted nine months; but on
opening the will of his father, he found that Dr Middleton was his
sole guardian. Mr Hanson, on examining and collecting the papers,
which were in the greatest confusion, discovered bank-notes in
different corners, and huddled up with bills and receipts, to the
amount of two thousand pounds, and further, a cheque signed by Captain
Wilson on his banker, for the thousand pounds advanced by Mr Easy,
dated more than fifteen months back.

Dr Middleton wrote to the Admiralty, informing them that family
affairs necessitated Mr John Easy, who had been left at sick quarters,
to leave his Majesty's service, requesting his discharge from it
forthwith. The Admiralty were graciously pleased to grant the
request, and lose the services of a midshipman. The Admiralty were
also pleased to grant the discharge of Mesty, on the sum required for
a substitute being paid in.

The gipsies were routed out of their abodes, and sent once more to
wander. The gamekeepers were restored, the preserves cleared of all
poachers, and the gentry of the country were not a little pleased at
Jack's succession, for they had wished that Mr Easy's neck had been
broken long ago. The societies were dissolved, since, now that Mr
Easy no longer paid for the beer, there was nothing to meet for. Cards
and compliments were sent from all parts of the county, and every one
was anxious that our hero should come of age, as then he would be able
to marry, to give dinners, subscribe to the foxhounds, and live as a
gentleman ought to do.

But during all these speculations, Jack had made Dr Middleton
acquainted with the history of his amour with Agnes de Rebiera, and
all particulars connected therewith, also with his determination to go
out to bring her home as his wife. Dr Middleton saw no objection to
the match, and he perceived that our hero was sincere. And Jack had
made inquiries when the packet would sail for Malta, when Mesty, who
stood behind his chair, observed,--

"Packet bad vessel, Massa Easy. Why not go out in man-of-war?"

"Very true," replied Jack; "but you know, Mesty, that is not so easy."

"And den how come home, sar? Suppose you and Missy Agnes taken
prisoner--put in prison?"

"Very true," replied Jack; "and as for a passage home in a man-of-war,
that will be more difficult still."

"Den I tink, sar, suppose you buy one fine vessel--plenty of guns--
take out letter of marque--plenty of men, and bring Missy Agnes home
like a lady. You captain of your own ship."

"That deserves consideration, Mesty," replied Jack, who thought of it
during that night: and the next day resolved to follow Mesty's advice.
The Portsmouth paper lay on the breakfast-table. Jack took it up, and
his eye was caught by an advertisement for the sale of the Joan d'Arc,
prize to H.M. ship Thetis, brigantine of 278 tons, copper-bottomed,
armed, en flutes with all her stores, spars, sails, running and
standing rigging, then lying in the harbour of Portsmouth, to take
place on the following Wednesday.

Jack rang the bell, and ordered post-horses.

"Where are you going, my dear boy?" inquired Dr Middleton.

"To Portsmouth, Doctor."

"And pray what for, if not an impertinent question?"

Jack then gave Dr Middleton an insight into his plan, and requested
that he would allow him to do so, as there was plenty of ready money.

"But the expense will be enormous."

"It will be heavy, sir, I grant; but I have calculated it pretty
nearly, and I shall not spend at the rate of more than my income.
Besides, as letter of marque, I shall have the right of capture; in
fact, I mean to take out a privateer's regular licence."

"But not to remain there and cruise?"

"No, upon my honour; I am too anxious to get home again. You must not
refuse me, my dear guardian."

"As a lady is in the case, I will not, my dear boy; but be careful
what you are about."

"Never fear, sir, I will be back in four months, at the farthest; but
I must now set off and ascertain if the vessel answers the description
given in the advertisement."

Jack threw himself into the chariot. Mesty mounted into the rumble,
and in two hours they were at Portsmouth; went to the agent, viewed
the vessel, which proved to be a very fine fast-sailing craft, well
found, with six brass carronades on each side. The cabins were
handsome, fitted up with bird's-eye maple, and gilt mouldings.

This will do, thought Jack: a couple of long brass nines, forty men
and six boys, and she will be just the thing we require. So Mesty and
Jack went on shore again, and returned to Forest Hill to dinner, when
he desired Mr Hanson to set off for Portsmouth, and bid at the sale
for the vessel, as he wished to purchase her. This was Monday, and on
Wednesday Mr Hanson purchased her, as she stood, for 1,750 pounds,
which was considered about half her value.

Dr Middleton had, in the meantime, been thinking very seriously of
Jack's project. He could see no objection to it, provided that he was
steady and prudent, but in both these qualities Jack had not exactly
been tried. He therefore determined to look out for some steady naval
lieutenant, and make it a sine qua non that our hero should be
accompanied by him, and that he should go out as sailing-master. Now
that the vessel was purchased, he informed Jack of his wish; indeed,
as Dr Middleton observed, his duty as guardian demanded this
precaution, and our hero, who felt very grateful to Dr Middleton,
immediately acquiesced.

"And, by-the-bye, Doctor, see that he is a good navigator; for
although I can fudge a day's work pretty well, latterly I have been
out of practice."

Everyone was now busy: Jack and Mesty at Portsmouth, fitting out the
vessel, and offering three guineas ahead to the crimps for every good
able seaman--Mr Hanson obtaining the English register, and the letters
of licence, and Dr Middleton in search of a good naval dry-nurse. Jack
found time to write to Don Philip and Agnes, apprising them of the
death of his father, and his intentions.

In about six weeks all was ready, and the brigantine, which had taken
out her British register and licence under the name of the Rebiera,
went out of harbour, and anchored at Spithead. Dr Middleton had
procured, as he thought, a very fit person to sail with Jack, and our
hero and Mesty embarked, wishing the Doctor and Solicitor good-bye,
and leaving them nothing to do but to pay the bills.

The person selected by Dr Middleton, by the advice of an old friend of
his, a purser in the navy, who lived at Southsea, was a Lieutenant
Oxbelly, who, with the ship's company, which had been collected,
received our hero as their captain and owner upon his arrival on
board. There certainly was no small contrast between our hero's
active slight figure and handsome person, set off with a blue coat,
something like the present yacht-club uniform, and that of his second
in command, who waddled to the side to receive him. He was a very
short man, with an uncommon protuberance of stomach, with shoulders
and arms too short for his body, and hands much too large, more like
the paws of a Polar bear than anything else. He wore trousers, shoes,
and buckles. On his head was a foraging cap, which, when he took it
off, showed that he was quite bald. His age might be about fifty-five
or sixty; his complexion florid, no whiskers, and little beard, nose
straight, lips thin, teeth black with chewing, and always a little
brown dribble from the left corner of his mouth (there was a leak
there, he said). Altogether his countenance was prepossessing, for it
was honest and manly, but his waist was preposterous.

"Steady enough," thought Jack, as he returned Mr Oxbelly's salute.

"How do you do, sir?" said Jack; "I trust we shall be good shipmates,"
for Jack had not seen him before.

"Mr Easy," replied the lieutenant, "I never quarrel with anyone,
except (I won't tell a story) with my wife."

"I am sorry that you have ever domestic dissensions, Mr Oxbelly."

"And I only quarrel with her at night, sir. She will take up more
than her share of the bed, and won't allow me to sleep single; but
never mind that, sir; now will you please to muster the men?"

"If you please, Mr Oxbelly."

The men were mustered, and Jack made them a long speech upon
subordination, discipline, activity, duty, and so forth.

"A very good speech, Mr Easy," said Mr Oxbelly, as the men went
forward; "I wish my wife had heard it. But, sir, if you please, we'll
now get under way as fast as we can, for there is a Channel cruiser
working up at St Helen's, and we may give him the go-by by running
through the Needles."

"But what need we care for the Channel cruiser?"

"You forget, sir, that as soon as she drops her anchor she will come
on board and take a fancy to at least ten of our men."

"But they are protected."

"Yes, sir, but that's no protection, now-a-days. I have sailed in a
privateer at least three years, and I know that they have no respect
for letters of marque or for privateers."

"I believe you are right, Mr Oxbelly; so, if you please, we will up
with the anchor at once."