Sam Vaknin - "Issues in Ethics"

Emile Zola - "The Three Cities Trilogy: Lourdes, Vol. 4"

H. W. C. Davis - "Medieval Europe"

Frances Hodgson Burnett - "In the Closed Room"

New Philadelphia Book Publisher Highlights Local Talent
Book and Publishing News from Publishers Newswire(tm)

Looking for Child to be on Cover of a New Book, 'The Model Child'
PHILADELPHIA, Pa. -- The Philadelphia literary world will celebrate the launch of two new players today, April 10th: Kay Square Press, a new publishing company focused on Philadelphia-area artists, their stories, and their art; and Kay Square's first release, 'With the Rich and Mighty: Emlen Etting of Philadelphia' (ISBN: 978-0-9815129-0-7), a critical biography by Kenneth C. Kaleta.

FlatSigned Press Alleges Don Imus Remarks Damage Legacy of President Gerald R. Ford
NEW YORK, N.Y. -- Nathan Yungerberg, an accomplished model scout and professional child photographer is launching a nation-wide casting call to find the cover model for his highly anticipated book release, 'The Model Child: A Parents Guide to the Child Modeling Industry' (ISBN: 978-0-9817018-0-6).

Books: Mr. Midshipman Easy

F >> Frederick Marryat >> Mr. Midshipman Easy




"But, Mr Tallboys," said the purser's steward, "I don't understand
this. Mr Easy will first fight Mr Biggs, will he not?"

"No," replied the gunner, "this is a duel of three. You will fire at
Mr Easy, Mr Easy will fire at Mr Biggs, and Mr Biggs will fire at you.
It is all arranged, Mr Easthupp."

"But," said Mr Easthupp, "I do not understand it. Why is Mr Biggs to
fire at me? I have no quarrel with Mr Biggs."

"Because Mr Easy fires at Mr Biggs, and Mr Biggs must have his shot as
well."

"If you have ever been in the company of gentlemen, Mr Easthupp,"
observed Gascoigne, "you must know something about duelling."

"Yes, yes, I've kept the best company, Mr Gascoigne, and I can give a
gentleman satisfaction; but--"

"Then, sir, if that is the case, you must know that your honour is in
the hands of your second, and that no gentleman appeals."

"Yes, yes, I know that, Mr Gascoigne; but still I've no quarrel with
Mr Biggs, and therefore, Mr Biggs, of course you will not aim at me."

"Why you don't think that I am going to be fired at for nothing,"
replied the boatswain; "no, no, I'll have my shot anyhow."

"But at your friend, Mr Biggs?"

"All the same, I shall fire at somebody; shot for shot, and hit the
luckiest."

"Vel, gentlemen, I purtest against these proceedings," replied Mr
Easthupp; "I came here to have satisfaction from Mr Easy, and not to
be fired at by Mr Biggs."

"Don't you have satisfaction when you fire at Mr Easy?" replied the
gunner; "what more would you have?"

"I purtest against Mr Biggs firing at me."

"So you would have a shot without receiving one," cried Gascoigne:
"the fact is that this fellow's a confounded coward, and ought to be
kicked into the cooperage again."

At this affront Mr Easthupp rallied, and accepted the pistol offered
by the gunner.

"You ear those words, Mr Biggs; pretty language to use to a gentleman.
You shall ear from me, sir, as soon as the ship is paid off. I purtest
no longer, Mr Tallboys; death before dishonour. I'm a gentleman,
damme!"

At all events, the swell was not a very courageous gentleman, for he
trembled most exceedingly as he pointed his pistol.

The gunner gave the word, as if he were exercising the great guns on
board ship.

"Cock your locks!"--"Take good aim at the object!"--"Fire!"--"Stop
your vents!" The only one of the combatants who appeared to comply
with the latter supplementary order was Mr Easthupp, who clapped his
hand to his trousers behind, gave a loud yell, and then dropped down;
the bullet having passed clean through his seat of honour, from his
having presented his broadside as a target to the boatswain as he
faced towards our hero. Jack's shot had also taken effect, having
passed through both the boatswain's cheeks, without further mischief
than extracting two of his best upper double teeth, and forcing
through the hole of the further cheek the boatswain's own quid of
tobacco. As for Mr Easthupp's ball, as he was very unsettled, and
shut his eyes before he fired, it had gone the Lord knows where.

The purser's steward lay on the ground and screamed--the boatswain
spit his double teeth and two or three mouthfuls of blood out, and
then threw down his pistols in a rage.

"A pretty business, by God," sputtered he; "he's put my pipe out. How
the devil am I to pipe to dinner when I'm ordered, all my wind
escaping through the cheeks?"

In the meantime, the others had gone to the assistance of the purser's
steward, who continued his vociferations. They examined him, and
considered a wound in that part not to be dangerous.

"Hold your confounded bawling," cried the gunner, "or you'll have the
guard down here: you're not hurt."

"Han't hi?" roared the steward: "Oh, let me die, let me die; don't
move me!"

"Nonsense," cried the gunner, "you must get up and walk down to the
boat; if you don't we'll leave you--hold your tongue, confound you.
You won't? then I'll give you something to halloo for."

Whereupon Mr Tallboys commenced cuffing the poor wretch right and
left, who received so many swinging boxes of the ear that he was soon
reduced to merely pitiful plaints of "Oh dear!--such inhumanity--I
purtest--oh dear! must I get up? I can't, indeed."

"I do not think he can move, Mr Tallboys," said Gascoigne; "I should
think the best plan would be to call up two of the men from the
cooperage, and let them take him at once to the hospital."

The gunner went down to the cooperage to call the men. Mr Biggs, who
had bound up his face as if he had a toothache, for the bleeding had
been very slight, came up to the purser's steward.

"What the hell are you making such a howling about? Look at me, with
two shot-holes through my figure head, while you have only got one in
your stem: I wish I could change with you, by heavens, for I could use
my whistle then--now if I attempt to pipe, there will be such a
wasteful expenditure of his Majesty's stores of wind, that I never
shall get out a note. A wicked shot of yours, Mr Easy."

"I really am very sorry," replied Jack, with a polite bow, "and I beg
to offer my best apology."

During this conversation, the purser's steward felt very faint, and
thought he was going to die.

"Oh dear! oh dear! what a fool I was; I never was a gentleman--only a
swell: I shall die; I never will pick a pocket again--never--never--
God forgive me!"

"Why, confound the fellow," cried Gascoigne, "so you were a
pickpocket, were you?"

"I never will again," replied the fellow in a faint voice. "Hi'll
hamend and lead a good life--a drop of water--oh! lagged at last!"

Then the poor wretch fainted away: and Mr Tallboys coming up with the
men, he was taken on their shoulders and walked off to the hospital,
attended by the gunner and also the boatswain, who thought he might as
well have a little medical advice before he went on board.

"Well, Easy," said Gascoigne, collecting the pistols and tying them up
in his handkerchief, "I'll be shot but we're in a pretty scrape;
there's no hushing this up. I'll be hanged if I care, it's the best
piece of fun I ever met with." And at the remembrance of it Gascoigne
laughed till the tears ran down his cheeks. Jack's mirth was not
quite so excessive, as he was afraid that the purser's steward was
severely hurt, and expressed his fears.

"At all events, you did not hit him," replied Gascoigne: "all you have
to answer for is the boatswain's mug,--I think you've stopped his jaw
for the future."

"I'm afraid that our leave will be stopped for the future," replied
Jack.

"That we may take our oaths of," replied Gascoigne.

"Then look you, Ned," said Easy; "I've lots of dollars--we may as well
be hanged for a sheep as a lamb, as the saying is, I vote that we do
not go on board."

"Sawbridge will send and fetch us," replied Ned; "but he must find us
first."

"That won't take long, for the soldiers will soon have our description
and rout us out. We shall be pinned in a couple of days."

"Confound it, and they say that the ship is to be hove down, and that
we shall be here six weeks at least, cooped up on board in a broiling
sun, and nothing to do but to watch the pilot fish playing round the
rudder and munch bad apricots. I won't go on board. Look'ye, Jack,"
said Gascoigne, "have you plenty of money?"

"I have twenty doubloons, besides dollars," replied Jack.

"Well, then, we will pretend to be so much alarmed at the result of
this duel that we dare not show ourselves lest we should be hung. I
will write a note and send it to Jolliffe, to say that we have hid
ourselves until the affair is blown over, and beg him to intercede
with the captain and first lieutenant. I will tell him all the
particulars, and refer to the gunner for the truth of it; and then I
know that, although we should be punished, they will only laugh. But
I will pretend that Easthupp is killed, and we are frightened out of
our fives. That will be it, and then let's get on board one of the
speronares which come with fruit from Sicily, sail in the night for
Palermo, and then we'll have a cruise for a fortnight, and when the
money is all gone we'll come back."

"That's a capital idea, Ned, and the sooner we do it the better. I
will write to the captain, begging him to get me off from being hung,
and telling him where we have fled to, and that letter shall be given
after we have sailed."

They were two very nice lads--our hero and Gascoigne.


CHAPTER XVIII

In which our hero sets off on another cruise, in which he is not blown
off shore.

Gascoigne and our hero were neither of them in uniform, and they
hastened to Nix Mangare stairs, where they soon picked up the padrone
of a speronare. They went with him into a wine shop, and with the
assistance of a little English from a Maltese boy, whose shirt hung
out of his trousers, they made a bargain, by which it was agreed that,
for the consideration of two doubloons, he would sail that evening and
land them at Gergentif or some other town in Sicily, providing them
with something to eat and gregos to sleep upon. Our two midshipmen
then went back to the tavern from which they had set off to fight the
duel, and ordering a good dinner to be served in a back room, they
amused themselves with killing flies, as they talked over the events
of the day and waited for their dinner.

As Mr Tallboys did not himself think proper to go on board till the
evening, and Mr Biggs also wished it to be dark before he went up the
ship's side, the events of the duel did not transpire till the next
morning. Even then it was not known from the boatswain or gunner, but
by a hospital mate coming on board to inform the surgeon that there
was one of their men wounded under their charge, but that he was doing
very well.

Mr Biggs had ascended the side with his face bound up. "Confound that
Jack Easy," said he, "I have only been on leave twice since I sailed
from Portsmouth. Once I was obliged to come up the side without my
trousers, and show my bare stem to the whole ship's company, and now I
am coming up, and dare not show my figure head." He reported himself
to the officer of the watch, and hastening to his cabin went to bed
and lay the whole night awake from pain, thinking what excuse he could
possibly make for not coming on deck next morning to his duty.

He was, however, saved this trouble, for Mr Jolliffe brought the
letter of Gascoigne up to Mr Sawbridge, and the captain had received
that of our hero.

Captain Wilson came on board and found that Mr Sawbridge could
communicate all the particulars of which he had not been acquainted by
Jack; and after they had read over Gascoigne's letter in the cabin,
and interrogated Mr Tallboys, who was sent down under an arrest, they
gave free vent to their mirth.

"Upon my soul, there's no end to Mr Easy's adventures," said the
captain. "I could laugh at the duel, for after all it is nothing--and
he would have been let off with a severe reprimand. But the foolish
boys have set off in a speronare to Sicily, and how the devil are we
to get them back again?"

"They'll come back, sir," replied Sawbridge, "when all their money's
gone." "Yes, if they do not get into any more scrapes. That young
scamp Gascoigne is as bad as Easy, and now they are together there's
no saying what may happen. I dine at the Governor's to-day; how he
will laugh when I tell him of this new way of fighting a duel!"

"Yes, sir, it is just the thing that will tickle old Tom." "We must
find out if they have got off the island, Sawbridge, which may not be
the case."

But it was the case. Jack and Gascoigne had eaten a ye good dinner,
sent for the monkey to amuse them till it was dark, and there had
waited till the padrone came to them.

"What shall we do with the pistols, Easy?" "Take them with us, and
load them before we go--we may want them. Who knows but there may be
a mutiny on board of the speronare? I wish we had Mesty with us."

They loaded the pistols, took a pair each and put them in their
waists, concealed under their clothes, divided the ammunition between
them, and soon afterwards the padrone came to tell them all was ready.

Whereupon Messrs Gascoigne and Easy paid there bill and rose to
depart, but the padrone informed them that he should like to see the
colour of their money before they went on board. Jack, very indignant
at the insinuation that he had not sufficient cash, pulled out a
handful of doubloons, and tossing two to the padrone, and asked him if
he was satisfied.

The padrone untied his sash, put in the money, and with many thanks
and protestations of service, begged our young gentlemen to accompany
him; they did so, and in a few minutes were clear of Nix Mangare
stairs, and, passing close to his Majesty's ship Harpy, were soon out
of the harbour of Valette.

Of all the varieties of vessels which float upon the wave, there is
not, perhaps, one that bounds over the water so gracefully or so
lightly as a speronare, or any one so picturesque and beautiful to the
eye of those who watch its progress.

The night was clear, and the stars shone out brilliantly as the light
craft skimmed over the water, and a fragment of a desert and waning
moon threw its soft beams upon the snow-white sail. The vessel, which
had no deck, was full of baskets, which had contained grapes and
various fruits brought from the ancient granary, of Rome, still as
fertile and as luxuriant as ever. The crew consisted of the padrone,
two men and a boy; the three latter, with their gregos, or night
great-coats with hoods, sitting forward before the sail, with their
eyes fixed on the land as they flew past point after point, thinking
perhaps of their wives, or perhaps of their sweethearts, or perhaps
not thinking at all.

The padrone remained aft at the helm, offering every politeness to our
two young gentlemen, who only wished to be left alone. At last they
requested the padrone to give them gregos to lie down upon, as they
wished to go to sleep. He called the boy to take the helm, procured
them all they required, and then went forward. And our two midshipmen
laid down looking at the stars above them for some minutes, without
exchanging a word. At last Jack commenced--

"I have been thinking, Gascoigne, that this is very delightful. My
heart bounds with the vessel, and it almost appears to me as if the
vessel herself was rejoicing in her liberty. Here she is capering
over the waves instead of being tied by the nose with a cable and
anchor."

"That's a touch of the sentimental, Jack," replied Gascoigne; "but she
is no more free than she was when at anchor, for she now is forced to
act in obedience to her steersman and go just where he pleases. You
may just as well say that a horse, if taken out of the stable, is
free, with the curb, and his rider on his back."

"That's a touch of the rational, Ned, which destroys the illusion.
Never mind, we are free, at all events. What machines we are on board
of a man-of-war! we walk, talk, eat, drink, sleep, and get up, just
like clock-work; we are wound up to go the twenty-four hours, and then
wound up again; just like old Smallsole does the chronometers."

"Very true, Jack; but it does not appear to me, that hitherto you have
kept very good time; you require a little more regulating," said
Gascoigne.

"How can you expect any piece of machinery to go well, so damnably
knocked about as a midshipman is?" replied our hero.

"Very true, Jack; but sometimes you don't keep any time, for you don't
keep any watch. Mr Asper don't wind you up. You don't go at all."

"No; because he allows me to go down; but still I do go, Ned."

"Yes, to your hammock--it's no go with old Smallsole, if I want a bit
of caulk. But, Jack, what do you say--shall we keep watch tonight?"

"Why, to tell you the truth, I have been thinking the same thing--I
don't much like the looks of the padrone--he squints."

"That's no proof of anything, Jack, except that his eyes are not
straight: but if you do not like the look of him, I can tell you that
he very much liked the look of your doubloons--I saw him start, and
his eyes twinkled, and I thought at the time it was a pity you had not
paid him in dollars."

"It was very foolish in me, but at all events he has not seen all. He
saw quite enough, Ned."

"Very true, but you should have let him see the pistols, and not have
let him see the doubloons."

"Well, if he wishes to take what he has seen, he shall receive what he
has not seen--why, there are only four of them."

"Oh, I have no fear of them, only it may be as well to sleep with one
eye open."

"When shall we make the land?"

"To-morrow evening with this wind, and it appears to be steady.
Suppose we keep watch and watch, and have our pistols out ready, with
the great-coats just turned over them, to keep them out of sight?"

"Agreed--it's about twelve o'clock now--who shall keep the middle
watch?"

"I will, Jack, if you like it."

"Well, then, mind you kick me hard, for I sleep devilish sound.
Good-night, and keep a sharp look-out."

Jack was fast asleep in less than ten minutes; and Gascoigne, with his
pistols lying by him all ready for each hand, sat up at the bottom of
the boat.

There certainly is a peculiar providence in favour of midshipmen
compared with the rest of mankind; they have more lives than a cat--
always in the greatest danger, but always escaping from it.

The padrone of the vessel had been captivated with the doubloons which
Jack had so foolishly exposed to his view, and he had, moreover,
resolved to obtain them. At the very time that our two lads were
conversing aft, the padrone was talking the matter over with his two
men forward, and it was agreed that they should murder, rifle, and
then throw them overboard.

About two o'clock in the morning, the padrone came aft to see if they
were asleep, but found Gascoigne watching. He returned aft again and
again, but found the young man still sitting up. Tired of waiting,
anxious to possess the money, and not supposing that the lads were
armed, he went once more forward and spoke to the men. Gascoigne had
watched his motions; he thought it singular that, with three men in
the vessel, the helm should be confided to the boy--and at last he saw
them draw their knives. He pushed our hero, who woke immediately.
Gascoigne put his hand over Jack's mouth, that he might not speak, and
then whispered his suspicions. Jack seized his pistols--they both
cocked them without noise, and then waited in silence, Jack still
lying down, while Gascoigne continued to sit up at the bottom of the
boat.

At last Gascoigne saw the three men coming aft--he dropped one of his
pistols for a second to give Jack a squeeze of the hand, which was
returned, and as Gascoigne watched them making their way through the
piles of empty baskets he leaned back as if he was slumbering. The
padrone, followed by the two men, was at last aft,--they paused a
moment before they stepped over the strengthening plank, which ran
from side to side of the boat between them and the midshipmen, and as
neither of them stirred, they imagined that both were asleep--advanced
and raised their knives, when Gascoigne and Jack, almost at the same
moment, each discharged their pistols into the breast of the padrone
and one of the men, who was with him in advance, who both fell with
the send aft of the boat, so as to encumber the midshipmen with the
weight of their bodies. The third man started back. Jack, who could
not rise, from the padrone lying across his legs, took a steady aim
with his second pistol, and the third man fell. The boy at the helm,
who, it appeared, either was aware of what was to be done, or seeing
the men advance with their knives, had acted upon what he saw, also
drew his knife and struck at Gascoigne from behind; the knife
fortunately, after slightly wounding Gascoigne on the shoulder, had
shut on the boy's hand--Gascoigne sprang up with his other pistol--the
boy started back at the sight of it, lost his balance, and fell
overboard.

Our two midshipmen took a few seconds to breathe. "I say, Jack," said
Gascoigne at last, "did you ever--"

"No, I never--" replied Jack.

"What's to be done now?"

"Why, as we've got possession, Ned, we had better put a man at the
helm-for the speronare is having it all her own way."

"Very true," replied Gascoigne, "and as I can steer better than you, I
suppose it must be me."

Gascoigne went to the helm, brought the boat up to the wind, and then
they resumed their conversation.

"That rascal of a boy gave me a devil of a lick on the shoulder; I
don't know whether he has hurt me--at all events it's my left
shoulder, so I can steer just as well. I wonder whether the fellows
are dead."

"The padrone is, at all events," replied Jack. "It was as much as I
could do to get my legs from under him--but we'll wait till daylight
before we see to that--in the meantime, I'll load the pistols again."

"The day is breaking now--it will be light in half an hour or less.
What a devil of a spree, Jack!"

"Yes, but how can one help it? We ran away because two men are
wounded--and now we are obliged to kill four in self-defence."

"Yes, but that is not the end of it; when we get to Sicily what are we
to do? we shall be imprisoned by the authorities--perhaps hung."

"We'll argue that point with them," replied Jack.

"We had better argue the point between ourselves, Jack, and see what
will be the best plan to get out of our scrape."

"I think that we just have got out of it--never fear but we'll get out
of the next. Do you know, Gascoigne, it appears to me very odd, but I
can do nothing but there's a bobbery at the bottom of it."

"You certainly have a great talent that way, Jack. Don't I hear one
of those poor fellows groan?"

"I should think that not impossible."

"What shall we do with them?"

"We will argue that point, Ned--we must either keep their bodies, or
we must throw them overboard. Either tell the whole story, or say
nothing about it."

"That's very evident; in short, we must do something, for your
argument goes no further. But now let us take up one of your
propositions."

"Well, then, suppose we keep the bodies on board, run into a seaport,
go to the authorities, and state all the facts, what then?"

"We shall prove, beyond all doubt, that we have killed three men, if
not four; but we shall not prove that we were obliged so to do, Jack.
And then we are heretics--we shall be put in prison till they are
satisfied of our innocence, which we never can prove, and there we
shall remain until we have written to Malta, and a man-of-war comes to
redeem us, if we are not stabbed or something else in the meantime."

"That will not be a very pleasant cruise," replied Jack. "Now let's
argue the point on the other side."

"There is some difficulty there--suppose we throw their bodies
overboard, toss the baskets after them, wash the boat clean, and make
for the first port. We may chance to hit upon the very spot from
which they sailed, and then there will be a pack of wives and
children, and a populace with knives, asking us what has become of the
men of the boat!"

"I don't much like the idea of that," said Jack.

"And if we don't have such bad luck, still we shall be interrogated as
to who we are, and how we were adrift by ourselves."

"There will be a difficulty about that again--we must swear that it is
a party of pleasure, and that we are gentlemen yachting."

"Without a crew or provisions--yachts don't sail with a clean swept
hold, or gentlemen without a spare shirt--we have nothing but two
gallons of water and two pairs of pistols."

"I have it," said Jack--"we are two young gentlemen in our own boat
who went out to Gozo with pistols to shoot sea-mews, were caught in a
gale, and blown down to Sicily--that will excite interest."

"That's the best idea yet, as it will account for our having nothing
in the boat. Well, then, at all events, we will get rid of the
bodies; but suppose they are not dead--we cannot throw them overboard
alive,--that will be murder."

"Very true," replied Jack, "then we must shoot them first, and toss
them overboard afterwards."

"Upon my soul, Easy, you are an odd fellow: however, go and examine
the men, and we'll decide that point by-and-bye: you had better keep
your pistol ready cocked, for they may be shamming."

"Devil a bit of sham here, anyhow," replied Jack, pulling at the body
of the padrone, "and as for this fellow you shot, you might put your
fist into his chest. Now for the third," continued Jack, stepping
over the strengthening piece--"he's all among the baskets. I say, my
cock, are you dead?" and Jack enforced his question with a kick in the
ribs. The man groaned. "That's unlucky, Gascoigne, but however, I'll
soon settle him," said Jack, pointing his pistol.

"Stop, Jack," cried Gascoigne, "it really will be murder."

"No such thing, Ned; I'll just blow his brains out, and then I'll come
aft and argue the point with you."

"Now do oblige me by coming aft and arguing the point first. Do, Jack,
I beg of you--I entreat you."

"With all my heart," replied Jack, resuming his seat by Gascoigne; "I
assert, that in this instance killing's no murder. You will observe,
Ned, that by the laws of society, any one who attempts the life of
another has forfeited his own; at the same time, as it is necessary
that the fact should be clearly proved, and justice be duly
administered, the parties are tried, convicted, and then are sentenced
to the punishment."