Books: Roast Beef, Medium
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Edna Ferber >> Roast Beef, Medium
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T. A. Buck nodded understandingly. "I know. Father knew too. And I
don't want you to let his going from us make any difference in this
holiday season. I want you to enjoy it and be happy."
A shade crossed Emma McChesney's face. It was there when the door
opened and a boy entered with a telegram. He handed it to Mrs.
McChesney. It held ten crisp words:
_Changed my darn fool mind. Me for home and mother._
Emma McChesney looked up, her face radiant.
"Christmas isn't a season, Mr. Buck. It's a feeling; and, thank God,
I've got it!"
IX
KNEE-DEEP IN KNICKERS
When the column of figures under the heading known as "Profits," and
the column of figures under the heading known as "Loss" are so
unevenly balanced that the wrong side of the ledger sags, then to the
listening stockholders there comes the painful thought that at the
next regular meeting it is perilously possible that the reading may
come under the heads of Assets and Liabilities.
There had been a meeting in the offices of the T. A. Buck Featherloom
Petticoat Company, New York. The quarterly report had had a
startlingly lop-sided sound. After it was over Mrs. Emma McChesney,
secretary of the company, followed T. A. Buck, its president, into the
big, bright show-room. T. A. Buck's hands were thrust deep into his
pockets. His teeth worried a cigar, savagely. Care, that clawing,
mouthing hag, perched on his brow, tore at his heart.
He turned to face Emma McChesney.
"Well," he said, bitterly, "it hasn't taken us long, has it? Father's
been dead a little over a year. In that time we've just about run this
great concern, the pride of his life, into the ground."
Mrs. Emma McChesney, calm, cool, unruffled, scrutinized the harassed
man before her for a long minute.
"What rotten football material you would have made, wouldn't you?" she
observed.
"Oh, I don't know," answered T. A. Buck, through his teeth. "I can
stand as stiff a scrimmage as the next one. But this isn't a game. You
take things too lightly. You're a woman. I don't think you know what
this means."
Emma McChesney's lips opened as do those of one whose tongue's end
holds a quick and stinging retort. Then they closed again. She walked
over to the big window that faced the street. When she had stood there
a moment, silent, she swung around and came back to where T. A. Buck
stood, still wrapped in gloom.
"Maybe I don't take myself seriously. I'd have been dead ten years ago
if I had. But I do take my job seriously. Don't forget that for a
minute. You talk the way a man always talks when his pride is hurt."
"Pride! It isn't that."
"Oh, yes, it is. I didn't sell T. A. Buck's Featherloom Petticoats on
the road for almost ten years without learning a little something
about men and business. When your father died, and I learned that he
had shown his appreciation of my work and loyalty by making me
secretary of this great company, I didn't think of it as a legacy--a
stroke of good fortune."
"No?"
"No. To me it was a sacred trust--something to be guarded, nursed,
cherished. And now you say we've run this concern into the ground. Do
you honestly think that?"
T. A. shrugged impotent shoulders. "Figures don't lie." He plunged
into another fathom of gloom. "Another year like this and we're done
for."
Emma McChesney came over and put one firm hand on T. A. Buck's
drooping shoulder. It was a strange little act for a woman--the sort
of thing a man does when he would hearten another man.
"Wake up!" she said, lightly. "Wake up, and listen to the birdies
sing. There isn't going to be another year like this. Not if the
planning, and scheming, and brain-racking that I've been doing for the
last two or three months mean anything."
T. A. Buck seated himself as one who is weary, body and mind.
"Got another new one?"
Emma McChesney regarded him a moment thoughtfully. Then she stepped to
the tall show-case, pushed back the sliding glass door, and pointed to
the rows of brilliant-hued petticoats that hung close-packed within.
"Look at 'em!" she commanded, disgust in her voice. "Look at 'em!"
T. A. Buck raised heavy, lack-luster eyes and looked. What he saw did
not seem to interest him. Emma McChesney drew from the rack a skirt of
king's blue satin messaline and held it at arm's length.
"And they call that thing a petticoat! Why, fifteen years ago the
material in this skirt wouldn't have made even a fair-sized sleeve."
T. A. Buck regarded the petticoat moodily. "I don't see how they get
around in the darned things. I honestly don't see how they wear 'em."
"That's just it. They don't wear 'em. There you have the root of the
whole trouble."
"Oh, nonsense!" disputed T. A. "They certainly wear something--some
sort of an--"
"I tell you they don't. Here. Listen. Three years ago our taffeta
skirts ran from thirty-six to thirty-eight yards to the dozen. We paid
from ninety cents to one dollar five a yard. Now our skirts run from
twenty-five to twenty-eight yards to the dozen. The silk costs us from
fifty to sixty cents a yard. Silk skirts used to be a luxury. Now
they're not even a necessity."
"Well, what's the answer? I've been pondering some petticoat problems
myself. I know we've got to sell three skirts to-day to make the
profit that we used to make on one three years ago."
Emma McChesney had the brave-heartedness to laugh. "This skirt
business reminds me of a game we used to play when I was a kid. We
called it Going to Jerusalem, I think. Anyway, I know each child sat
in a chair except the one who was It. At a signal everybody had to get
up and change chairs. There was a wild scramble, in which the one who
was It took part. When the burly-burly was over some child was always
chairless, of course. He had to be It. That's the skirt business to-
day. There aren't enough chairs to go round, and in the scramble
somebody's got to be left out. And let me tell you, here and now, that
the firm of T. A. Buck, Featherloom Petticoats, is not going to be
It."
T. A. rose as wearily as he had sat down. Even the most optimistic of
watchers could have discerned no gleam of enthusiasm on his face.
"I thought," he said listlessly, "that you and I had tried every
possible scheme to stimulate the skirt trade."
"Every possible one, yes," agreed Mrs. McChesney, sweetly. "And now
it's time to try the impossible. The possibilities haven't worked. My
land! I could write a book on the Decline and Fall of the Petticoat,
beginning with the billowy white muslin variety, and working up to the
present slinky messaline affair. When I think of those dear dead days
of the glorious--er--past, when the hired girl used to complain and
threaten to leave because every woman in the family had at least three
ruffled, embroidery-flounced white muslin petticoats on the line on
Mondays--"
The lines about T. A. Buck's mouth relaxed into a grim smile.
"Remember that feature you got them to run in the _Sunday Sphere?_ The
one headed 'Are Skirts Growing Fuller, and Where?'"
"Do I remember it!" wailed Emma McChesney. "And can I ever forget the
money we put into that fringed model we called the Carmencita! We made
it up so it could retail for a dollar ninety-five, and I could have
sworn that the women would maim each other to get to it. But it didn't
go. They won't even wear fringe around their ankles."
T. A.'s grim smile stretched into a reminiscent grin. "But nothing in
our whole hopeless campaign could touch your Municipal Purity League
agitation for the abolition of the form-hugging skirt. You talked
public morals until you had A. Comstock and Lucy Page Gaston looking
like Parisian Apaches."
A little laugh rippled up to Emma McChesney's lips, only to die away
to a sigh. She shook her head in sorrowful remembrance.
"Yes. But what good did it do? The newspapers and magazines did take
it up, but what happened? The dressmakers and tailors, who are
charging more than ever for their work, and putting in half as much
material, got together and knocked my plans into a cocked hat. In
answer to those snap-shots showing what took place every time a woman
climbed a car step, they came back with pictures of the styles of '61,
proving that the street-car effect is nothing to what happened to a
belle of '61 if she chanced to sit down or get up too suddenly in the
hoop-skirt days."
They were both laughing now, like a couple of children. "And, oh,
say!" gasped Emma, "remember Moe Selig, of the Fine-Form Skirt
Company, trying to get the doctors to state that hobble skirts were
making women knock-kneed! Oh, mercy!"
But their laugh ended in a little rueful silence. It was no laughing
matter, this situation. T. A. Buck shrugged his shoulders, and began a
restless pacing up and down. "Yep. There you are. Meanwhile--"
"Meanwhile, women are still wearing 'em tight, and going
petticoatless."
Suddenly T. A. stopped short in his pacing and fastened his surprised
and interested gaze on the skirt of the trim and correct little
business frock that sat so well upon Emma McChesney's pretty figure.
"Why, look at that!" he exclaimed, and pointed with one eager finger.
"Mercy!" screamed Emma McChesney. "What is it? Quick! A mouse?"
T. A. Buck shook his head, impatiently. "Mouse! Lord, no! Plaits!"
"Plaits!"
She looked down, bewildered.
"Yes. In. your skirt. Three plaits at the front-left, and three in the
back. That's new, isn't it? If outer skirts are being made fuller,
then it follows--"
"It ought to follow," interrupted Emma McChesney, "but it doesn't. It
lags way behind. These plaits are stitched down. See? That's the
fiendishness of it. And the petticoat underneath--if there is one--
must be just as smooth, and unwrinkled, and scant as ever. Don't let
'em fool you."
Buck spread his palms with a little gesture of utter futility.
"I'm through. Out with your scheme. We're ready for it. It's our last
card, whatever it is."
There was visible on Emma McChesney's face that little tightening of
the muscles, that narrowing of the eyelids which betokens intense
earnestness; the gathering of all the forces before taking a momentous
step. Then, as quickly, her face cleared. She shook her head with a
little air of sudden decision.
"Not now. Just because it's our last card I want to be sure that I'm
playing it well. I'll be ready for you to-morrow morning in my office.
Come prepared for the jolt of your young life."
For the first time since the beginning of the conversation a glow of
new courage and hope lighted up T. A. Buck's good-looking features.
His fine eyes rested admiringly upon Emma McChesney standing there by
the great show-case. She seemed to radiate energy. alertness,
confidence.
"When you begin to talk like that," he said, "I always feel as though
I could take hold in a way to make those famous jobs that Hercules
tackled look like little Willie's chores after school."
"Fine!" beamed Emma McChesney. "Just store that up, will you? And
don't let it filter out at your finger-tips when I begin to talk to-
morrow."
"We'll have lunch together, eh? And talk it over then sociably."
Mrs. McChesney closed the glass door of the case with a bang.
"No, thanks. My office at 9:30."
T. A. Buck followed her to the door. "But why not lunch? You never
will take lunch with me. Ever so much more comfortable to talk things
over that way--"
"When I talk business," said Emma McChesney, pausing at the threshold,
"I want to be surrounded by a business atmosphere. I want the scene
all set--one practical desk, two practical chairs, one telephone, one
letter-basket, one self-filling fountain-pen, et cetera. And when I
lunch I want to lunch, with nothing weightier on my mind than the
question as to whether I'll have chicken livers saute or creamed
sweetbreads with mushrooms."
"That's no reason," grumbled T. A. "That's an excuse."
"It will have to do, though," replied Mrs. McChesney abruptly, and
passed out as he held the door open for her. He was still standing in
the doorway after her trim, erect figure had disappeared into the
little office across the hail.
The little scarlet leather clock on Emma McChesney's desk pointed to
9:29 A.M. when there entered her office an immaculately garbed,
miraculously shaven, healthily rosy youngish-middle-aged man who
looked ten years younger than the harassed, frowning T. A. Buck with
whom she had almost quarreled the evening before. Mrs. McChesney was
busily dictating to a sleek little stenographer. The sleek little
stenographer glanced up at T. A. Buck's entrance. The glance, being a
feminine one, embraced all of T. A.'s good points and approved them
from the tips of his modish boots to the crown of his slightly bald
head, and including the creamy-white flower that reposed in his
buttonhole.
"'Morning!" said Emma McChesney, looking up briefly. "Be with you in a
minute. ...and in reply would say we regret that you have had trouble
with No. 339. It is impossible to avoid pulling at the seams in the
lower-grade silk skirts when they are made up in the present scant
style. Our Mr. Spalding warned you of this at the time of your
purchase. We will not under any circumstances consent to receive the
goods if they are sent back on our hands. Yours sincerely. That'll be
all, Miss Casey."
She swung around to face her visitor as the door closed. If T. A. Buck
looked ten years younger than he had the afternoon before, Emma
McChesney undoubtedly looked five years older. There were little,
worried, sagging lines about her eyes and mouth.
T. A. Buck's eyes had followed the sheaf of signed correspondence, and
the well-filled pad of more recent dictation which the sleek little
stenographer had carried away with her.
"Good Lord! It looks as though you had stayed down here all night."
Emma McChesney smiled a little wearily. "Not quite that. But I was
here this morning in time to greet the night watchman. Wanted to get
my mail out of the way." Her eyes searched T. A. Buck's serene face.
Then she leaned forward, earnestly.
"Haven't you seen the morning paper?"
"Just a mere glance at 'em. Picked up Burrows on the way down, and we
got to talking. Why?"
"The Rasmussen-Welsh Skirt Company has failed. Liabilities three
hundred thousand. Assets one hundred thousand."
"Failed! Good God!" All the rosy color, all the brisk morning
freshness had vanished from his face. "Failed! Why, girl, I thought
that concern was as solid as Gibraltar." He passed a worried hand over
his head. "That knocks the wind out of my sails."
"Don't let it. Just say that it fills them with a new breeze. I'm all
the more sure that the time is ripe for my plan."
T. A. Buck took from a vest pocket a scrap of paper and a fountain
pen, slid down in his chair, crossed his legs, and began to scrawl
meaningless twists and curlycues, as was his wont when worried or
deeply interested.
"Are you as sure of this scheme of yours as you were yesterday?"
"Sure," replied Emma McChesney, briskly. Sartin-sure."
"Then fire away."
Mrs. McChesney leaned forward, breathing a trifle fast. Her eyes were
fastened on her listener.
"Here's the plan. We'll make Featherloom Petticoats because there
still are some women who have kept their senses. But we'll make them
as a side line. The thing that has got to keep us afloat until full
skirts come in again will be a full and complete line of women's satin
messaline knickerbockers made up to match any suit or gown, and a full
line of pajamas for women and girls. Get the idea? Scant, smart, trim
little taupe-gray messaline knickers for a taupe gray suit, blue
messaline for blue suits, brown messaline for brown--"
T. A. Buck stared, open-mouthed, the paper on which he had been
scrawling fluttering unnoticed to the floor.
"Look here!" he interrupted. "Is this supposed to be humorous?"
"And," went on Emma McChesney, calmly, "in our full and complete, not
to say nifty line of women's pajamas--pink pajamas, blue pajamas,
violet pajamas, yellow pajamas, white silk--"
T. A. Buck stood up. "I want to say," he began, "that if you are
jesting, I think this is a mighty poor time to joke. And if you are
serious I can only deduce from it that this year of business worry and
responsibility has been too much for you. I'm sure that if you were--"
"That's all right," interrupted Emma McChesney. "Don't apologize. I
purposely broke it to you this way, when I might have approached it
gently. You've done just what I knew you'd do, so it's all right.
After you've thought it over, and sort of got chummy with the idea,
you'll be just as keen on it as I am."
"Never!"
"Oh, yes, you will. It's the knickerbocker end of it that scares you.
Nothing new or startling about pajamas, except that more and more
women are wearing 'em, and that no girl would dream of going away to
school without her six sets of pajamas. Why, a girl in a regulation
nightie at one of their midnight spreads would be ostracized. Of
course I've thought up a couple of new kinks in 'em--new ways of
cutting and all that, and there's one model--a washable crepe, for
traveling, that doesn't need to be pressed--but I'll talk about that
later."
T. A. Buck was trying to put in a word of objection, but she would
have none of it. But at Emma McChesney's next words his indignation
would brook no barriers.
"Now," she went on, "the feature of the knickerbockers will be this:
They've got to be ready for the boys' spring trip, and in all the
larger cities, especially in the hustling Middle-Western towns, and
along the coast, too, I'm planning to have the knickerbockers
introduced at private and exclusive exhibitions, and worn by--get
this, please--worn by living models. One big store in each town, see?
Half a dozen good-looking girls--"
"Never!" shouted T. A. Buck, white and shaking. "Never! This firm has
always had a name for dignity, solidness, conservatism--"
"Then it's just about time it lost that reputation. It's all very well
to hang on to your dignity when you're on solid ground, but when you
feel things slipping from under you the thing to do is to grab on to
anything that'll keep you on your feet for a while at least. I tell
you the women will go wild over this knickerbocker idea. They've been
waiting for it."
"It's a wild-cat scheme," disputed Buck hotly. "It's a drowning man's
straw, and just about as helpful. I'm a reasonable man--"
"All unreasonable men say that," smiled Emma McChesney.
"--I'm a reasonable man, I say. And heaven knows I have the interest
of this firm at heart. But this is going too far. If we're going to
smash we'll go decently, and with our name untarnished. Pajamas are
bad enough. But when it comes to the firm of T. A. Buck being
represented by--by--living model hussies stalking about in satin
tights like chorus girls, why--"
In Emma McChesney's alert, electric mind there leapt about a dozen
plans for winning this man over. For win him she would, in the end. It
was merely a question of method. She chose the simplest. There was a
set look about her jaw. Her eyes flashed. Two spots of carmine glowed
in her cheeks.
"I expected just this," she said. "And I prepared for it." She crossed
swiftly to her desk, opened a drawer, and took out a flat package. "I
expected opposition. That's why I had these samples made up to show
you. I designed them myself, and tore up fifty patterns before I
struck one that suited me. Here are the pajamas."
She lifted out a dainty, shell-pink garment, and shook it out before
the half-interested, half-unwilling eyes of T. A. Buck.
"This is the jacket. Buttons on the left; see? Instead of the right,
as it would in a man's garment. Semi-sailor collar, with knotted soft
silk scarf. Oh, it's just a little kink, but they'll love it. They're
actually becoming. I've tried 'em. Notice the frogs and cord. Pretty
neat, yes? Slight flare at the hips. Makes 'em set and hang right.
Perfectly straight, like a man's coat."
T. A. Buck eyed the garments with a grudging admiration.
"Oh, that part of it don't sound so unreasonable, although I don't
believe there is much of a demand for that kind of thing. But the
other---the--the knickerbocker things--that's not even practical. It
will make an ugly garment, and the women who would fall for a fad like
that wouldn't be of the sort to wear an ugly piece of lingerie. It
isn't to be thought of seriously--"
Emma McChesney stepped to the door of the tiny wash-room off her
office and threw it open.
"Miss La Noyes! We're ready for you."
And there emerged from the inner room a trim, lithe, almost boyishly
slim figure attired in a bewitchingly skittish-looking garment
consisting of knickerbockers and snug brassiere of king's blue satin
messaline. Dainty black silk stockings and tiny buckled slippers set
off the whole effect.
"Miss La Noyes," said Emma McChesney, almost solemnly, "this is Mr. T.
A. Buck, president of the firm. Miss La Noyes, of the 'Gay Social
Whirl' company."
Miss La Noyes bowed slightly and rested one white hand at her side in
an attitude of nonchalant ease.
"Pleased, I'm shaw!" she said, in a clear, high voice.
And, "Charmed," replied T. A. Buck, his years and breeding standing
him in good stead now.
Emma McChesney laid a kindly hand on the girl's shoulder. "Turn
slowly, please. Observe the absence of unnecessary fulness about the
hips, or at the knees. No wrinkles to show there. No man will ever
appreciate the fine points of this little garment, but the women!--To
the left, Miss La Noyes. You'll see it fastens snug and trim with a
tiny clasp just below the knees. This garment has the added attraction
of being fastened to the upper garment, a tight satin brassiere. The
single, unattached garment is just as satisfactory, however. Women are
wearing plush this year. Not only for the street, but for evening
dresses. I rather think they'll fancy a snappy little pair of yellow
satin knickers under a gown of the new orange plush. Or a taupe pair,
under a gray street suit. Or a natty little pair of black satin,
finished and piped in white satin, to be worn with a black and white
shopping costume. Why, I haven't worn a petticoat since I--"
"Do you mean to tell me," burst from the long-pent T. A. Buck, "that
you wear 'em too?"
"Crazy about 'em. Miss La Noyes, will you just slip on your street
skirt, please?"
She waited in silence until the demure Miss La Noyes reappeared. A
narrow, straight-hanging, wrinkleless cloth skirt covered the much
discussed under-garment. "Turn slowly, please. Thanks. You see, Mr.
Buck? Not a wrinkle. No bunchiness. No lumps. No crawling up about the
knees. Nothing but ease, and comfort, and trim good looks."
T. A. Buck passed his hand over his head in a dazed, helpless gesture.
There was something pathetic in his utter bewilderment and
helplessness in contrast with Emma McChesney's breezy self-confidence,
and the show-girl's cool poise and unconcern.
"Wait a minute," he murmured, almost pleadingly. "Let me ask a couple
of questions, will you?"
"Questions? A hundred. That proves you're interested."
"Well, then, let me ask this young lady the first one. Miss--er--La
Noyes, do you honestly and truly like this garment? Would you buy one
if you saw it in a shop window?"
Miss La Noyes' answer came trippingly and without hesitation. She did
not even have to feel of her back hair first.
"Say, I'd go without my lunch for a week to get it. Mrs. McChesney
says I can have this pair. I can't wait till our prima donna sees 'em.
She'll hate me till she's got a dozen like 'em."
"Next!" urged Mrs. McChesney, pleasantly.
But T. A. Buck shook his head. "That's all. Only--"
Emma McChesney patted Miss La Noyes lightly on the shoulder, and
smiled dazzlingly upon her. "Run along, little girl. You've done
beautifully. And many thanks."
Miss La Noyes, appearing in another moment dressed for the street,
stopped at the door to bestow a frankly admiring smile upon the
abstracted president of the company, and a grateful one upon its pink-
cheeked secretary.
"Hope you'll come and see our show some evening. You won't know me at
first, because I wear a blond wig in the first scene. Third from the
left, front row." And to Mrs. McChesney: "I cer'nly did hate to get up
so early this morning, but after you're up it ain't so fierce. And it
cer'nly was easy money. Thanks."
[Illustration: "'No man will ever appreciate the fine points of this
little garment, but the women--!'"]
Emma McChesney glanced quickly at T. A., saw that he was pliant enough
for the molding process, and deftly began to shape, and bend, and
smooth and pat.
"Let's sit down, and unravel the kinks in our nerves. Now, if you do
favor this new plan--oh, I mean after you've given it consideration,
and all that! Yes, indeed. But if you do, I think it would be good
policy to start the game in--say--Cleveland. The Kaufman-Oster Company
of Cleveland have a big, snappy, up-to-the-minute store. We'll get
them to send out announcement cards. Something neat and flattering-
looking. See? Little stage all framed up. Scene set to show a bedroom
or boudoir. Then, thin girls, plump girls, short girls, high girls.
They'll go through all the paces. We won't only show the
knickerbockers: we demonstrate how the ordinary petticoat bunches and
crawls up under the heavy plush and velvet top skirt. We'll show 'em
in street clothes, evening clothes, afternoon frocks. Each one in a
different shade of satin knicker. And silk stockings and cunning
little slippers to match. The store will stand for that. It's a big ad
for them, too."
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