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Books: Lectures Of Col. R. G. Ingersoll, Vol. I

C >> Col. Robert Green Ingersoll >> Lectures Of Col. R. G. Ingersoll, Vol. I

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Q. Do you believe all the stories in the Bible? A. "All that can and
must be said against them is that they have been too long retained
around the arms and limbs of grown-up manhood to check the spiritual
progress of religion; that by Jewish ritualism and Christian dogmatism
they became fetters unto the soul, turning the light of heaven into a
misty haze to blind the eye, and even into a Hell fire of fanaticism to
consume souls."

Q. Is the Bible inspired? A. "True, the Bible is not free from
errors, nor is any work of man and time. It abounds in childish views
and offensive matters. I trust it will, in a time not far off, be
presented for common use in families, schools, synagogues and churches,
in a refined shape, cleansed from all dross and chaff, and stumbling-
blocks on which the scoffer delights to dwell."


FOURTH, REV. MR. HERFORD.

Question. Is the Bible true? Answer. "Ingersoll is very fond of
saying 'The question is not, is the Bible inspired, but is it true?'
That sounds very plausible, but you know as applied to any ancient book
it is simply nonsense."

Q. Do you think the stories in the Bible exaggerated? A. "I dare say
the numbers are immensely exaggerated."

Q. Do you think that God upheld polygamy? A. "The truth of which
simply is, that four thousand years ago polygamy existed among the Jews,
as everywhere else on earth then, and even their prophets did not come
to the idea of its being wrong. But what is there to be indignant about
in that? And so you really wonder why any man should be indignant at
the idea that God upheld and sanctioned that beastliness called
polygamy? What is there to be indignant about in that?"


FIFTH, PROF. SWING.

Question. What is your idea of the Bible? Answer. "I think it a
poem."


SIXTH, REV. DR. RYDER.

Question. And what is your idea of the sacred Scriptures? Answer.
"Like other nations, the Hebrews had their patriotic, descriptive,
didactic and lyrical poems in the same varieties as other nations; but
with them, unlike other nations, whatever may be the form of their
poetry, it always possesses the characteristic of religion."

Q. I suppose you fully appreciate the religious characteristics of the
Song of Solomon? No answer.

Q. Does the Bible uphold polygamy? A. "The law of Moses did not
forbid it, but contained many provisions against its worst abuses, and
such as were intended to restrict it within narrow limits."

Q. So you think God corrected some of the worst abuses of polygamy, but
preserved the institution itself?

I might question many others, but have concluded not to consider those
as members of my Bible class who deal in calumnies and epithets. From
the so-called "replies" of such ministers it appears that, while
Christianity changes the heart, it does not improve the manners, and
one can get into Heaven in the next world without having been a
gentleman in this.

It is difficult for me to express the deep and thrilling satisfaction I
have experienced in reading the admissions of the clergy of Chicago.
Surely the battle of intellectual liberty is almost won when ministers
admit that the Bible is filled with ignorant and cruel mistakes; that
each man has the right to think for himself, and that it is not
necessary to believe the Scriptures in order to be saved.

From the bottom of my heart, I congratulate my pupils on the advance
they have made, and hope soon to meet them on the serene heights of
perfect freedom.





INGERSOLL'S NEW DEPARTURE--His Lecture Entitled "What Shall We do to be
Saved?"--Delivered in McVicker's Theatre, Chicago, Sept. 19, 1880 [From
the Chicago Times. Verbatim Report.]



Ladies and Gentlemen: Fear is the dungeon of the mind, and superstition
is a dagger with which hypocrisy assassinates the soul. Courage is
liberty. I am in favor of absolute freedom of thought. In the realm of
the mind every one is monarch. Every one is robed, sceptered, and
crowned, and every one wears the purple of authority. I belong to the
republic of intellectual liberty, and only those are good citizens of
that republic who depend upon reason and upon persuasion, and only those
are traitors who resort to brute force.

Now, I beg of you all to forget just for a few moments that you are
Methodists, or Baptists, or Catholics, or Presbyterians, and let us for
an hour or two remember only that we are men and women. And allow me to
say "man" and "woman" are the highest titles that can be bestowed upon
humanity. "Man" and "woman." And let us if possible banish all fear
from the mind. Do not imagine that there is some being in the infinite
expanse who is not willing that every man and woman should think for
himself and herself. Do not imagine that there is any being who would
give to his children the holy torch of reason and then damn them for
following where the holy light led. Let us have courage.

Priests have invented a crime called "blasphemy," and behind that crime
hypocrisy has crouched for thousands of years. There is but one
blasphemy, and that is injustice. There is but one worship, and that is
justice.

You need not fear the anger of a God whom you cannot injure. Rather
fear to injure your fellow-men. Do not be afraid of a crime you cannot
commit. Rather be afraid of the one that you may commit.

There was a Jewish gentleman went into a restaurant to get his dinner,
and the devil of temptation whispered in his ear: "Eat some bacon."

He knew if there was anything in the universe calculated to excite the
wrath of the Infinite Being, who made every shining star, it was to see
a gentleman eating bacon. He knew it, and He knew the Infinite Being
was looking, and that he was the Infinite Eaves-dropper of the universe.
But his appetite got the better of his conscience, as it often has with
us all, and he ate that bacon. He knew it was wrong. When he went into
that restaurant the weather was delightful, the sky was as blue as June,
and when he came out the sky was covered with angry clouds, the
lightning leaping from one to the other, and the earth shaking beneath
the voice of the thunder. He went back into that restaurant with a face
as white as milk, and he said to one of the keepers:

"My God, did you ever hear such a fuss about a little piece of bacon?"

As long as we harbor such opinions of Infinity; as long as we imagine
the heavens to be filled with such tyranny, so long the sons of men will
be cringing, intellectual cowards. Let us think, and let us honestly
express our thought.

Do not imagine for a moment that I think people who disagree with me are
bad people. I admit, and I cheerfully admit, that a very large
proportion of mankind and a very large majority, a vast number, are
reasonably honest. I believe that most Christians believe what they
teach; that most ministers are endeavoring to make this world better.
I do not pretend to be better than they are. It is an intellectual
question. It is a question, first, of intellectual liberty, and after
that, a question to be settled at the bar of human reason. I do not
pretend to be better than the are. Probably I am a good deal worse than
many of them, but that is not the question. The question is "Bad as I
am, have I a right to think?" And I think I have, for two reasons.

First, I can't help it. And secondly, I like it. The whole question is
right at a point. If I have not a right to express my thoughts, who
has?

"Oh," they say, "we will allow you, we will not burn you."

"All right; why won't you burn me?"

"Because we think a decent man will allow others to think and express
his thought."

"Then the reason you do not persecute me for my thought is that you
believe it would be infamous in you!"

"Yes."

"And yet you worship a God who will, all you declare, punish me
forever."

The next question then is: Can I commit a sin against God by thinking?
If God did not intend I should think, why did He give me a "thinker."
Now, then, we have got what they call the Christian system of religion,
and thousands of people wonder how I can be wicked enough to attack that
system.

There are many good things about it, and I shall never attack anything
that I believe to be good! I shall never fear to attack anything I
honestly believe to be wrong. We have, I say, what they call the
Christian religion, and, I find, just in proportion that nations have
been religious, just in the proportion they have gone back to barbarism.
I find that Spain, Portugal, Italy are the three worst nations in
Europe; I find that the nation nearest infidel is the most prosperous
France. And so I say there can be no danger in the exercise of absolute
intellectual freedom. I find among ourselves the men who think at least
as good as those who do not. We have, I say, a Christian system, and
that is founded upon what they are pleased to call system the "New
Testament." Who wrote the New Testament? I don't know. Who does know?
Nobody!

We have found some fifty-two manuscripts containing portions of the New
Testament. Some of those manuscripts leave out five or six books--many
of them. Others more others less. No two of these manuscripts agree.
Nobody knows who wrote these manuscripts. They are all written in
Greek; the disciples of Christ knew only Hebrew. Nobody ever saw, so
far as we know, one of the original Hebrew manuscripts. Nobody ever saw
anybody who had seen anybody who had heard of anybody that had seen
anybody that had ever seen one of the original Hebrew manuscripts. No
doubt the clergy of your city have told you these facts thousands of
times, and they will be obliged to me for having repeated them once
more. These manuscripts are written in what are called capital Greek
letters. They are called Uncial characters; and the New Testament was
not divided into chapters and verses, even, until the year of grace
1551. Recollect it.

In the original the manuscripts and gospels are signed by nobody. The
epistles are addressed to nobody; and they are signed by the same
person. All the addresses, all the pretended earmarks showing to whom
they are written and by whom they are written are simply interpolations,
and everybody who has studied the subject knows it.

It is further admitted that even these manuscripts have not been
properly translated, and they have a syndicate now making a new
translation; and I suppose that I cannot tell whether I really believe
the Testament or not until I see that new translation.

You must remember, also, one other thing. Christ never wrote a solitary
word of the New Testament--not one word. There is an account that He
once stooped and wrote something in the sand, but that has not been
preserved. He never told anybody to write a word. He never said:
"Matthew, remember this. Mark, don't forget to put that down. Luke, be
sure that in your gospel you have this. John, don't forget it." Not
one word. And it has always seemed to me that a Being coming from
another world, with a message of infinite importance to mankind, should
at least have verified that message by his own signature.

Why was nothing written? I will tell you. In my judgment they expected
the end of the world in a very few days. That generation was not to
pass away until the heavens should be rolled up as a scroll, and until
the earth should melt with fervent heat. That was their belief. They
believed that the world was to be destroyed, and that there was to be
another coming, and that the saints were then to govern the world. And
they even went so far among the Apostles, as we frequently do now before
election, as to divide out the offices in advance. This Testament was
not written for hundreds of years after the Apostles were dust. These
facts lived in the open mouth of credulity. They were in the
wastebaskets of forgetfulness. They depended upon the inaccuracy of
legend, and for centuries these doctrines and stories were blown about
by the inconstant winds. And finally, when reduced to writing, some
gentleman would write by the side of the passage his idea of it, and the
next copyist would put that in as a part of the text. And, finally,
when it was made, and the Church got in trouble, and wanted a passage to
help it out, one was interpolated to order. So that now it is among the
easiest things in the world to pick out at least one hundred
interpolations in the Testament. And I will pick some of them out
before I get through.

And let me say here, once for all, that for the man Christ I have
infinite respect. Let me say, once for all, that the place where man
has died for man is holy ground; and let me say, once for all, to that
great and serene man I gladly pay the homage of my admiration and my
tears. He was a reformer in His day. He was an infidel in His time.
He was regarded as a blasphemer, and His life was destroyed by
hypocrites, who have, in all ages, done what they could to trample
freedom out of the human mind. Had I lived at that time I would have
been His friend, and should He come again He would not find a better
friend than I will be.

That is for the man. For the theological creation I have a different
feeling. If He was, in fact, God, He knew that there was no such thing
as death. He knew that what we call death was but the eternal opening
of the golden gates of everlasting joy; and it took no heroism to face
a death that was simply eternal life.

But when a man, when a poor boy sixteen years of age, goes upon the
field of battle to keep his flag in heaven, not knowing but that death
ends all--not knowing but that, when the shadows creep over him, the
darkness will be eternal--there is heroism.

And so for the man who, in the darkness, said: "My God, why hast Thou
forsaken Me?"--for that man I have nothing but respect, admiration, and
love.

A while ago I made up my mind to find out what was necessary for me to
do in order to be saved. If I have got a soul, I want it saved. I do
not wish to lose anything that is of value. For thousands of years the
world has been asking that question "What shall we do to be saved?"

Saved from poverty? No. Saved from crime? No. Tyranny? No. But
"What shall we do to be saved from the eternal wrath of the God who made
us all?"

If God made us, He will not destroy us. Infinite wisdom never made a
poor investment. And upon all the works of an infinite God, a dividend
must finally be declared. The pulpit has cast a shadow over even the
cradle. The doctrine of endless punishment has covered the cheeks of
this world with tears. I despise it, and I defy it.

I made up my mind, I say, to see what I had to do in order to save my
soul according to the Testament, and thereupon I read it. I read the
gospel, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. But I found that the Church had
been deceiving me. I found that the clergy did not understand their own
book. I found that they had been building upon passages that had been
interpolated. I found that they had been building upon passages that
were entirely untrue. And I will tell you why I think so.

The first of these gospels was written by St. Matthew, according to the
claim. Of course he never wrote a word of it. Never saw it. Never
heard of it. But, for the purpose of this lecture, I will admit that he
wrote it. I will admit that he was with Christ for three years, that he
heard much of His conversation during that time and that he became
impregnated with the doctrines, or dogmas, and the ideas of Jesus
Christ.

Now let us see what Matthew says we must do in order to be saved. And I
take it that, if this be true, Matthew is as good an authority as any
minister in the world.

The first thing I find upon the subject of salvation is in the fifth
chapter of Matthew, and is embraced in what is commonly known as the
sermon on the Mount. It is as follows:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."
Good!

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." Good! Whether
they belonged to any church or not; whether they believed the Bible or
not.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." Good!

"Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the
peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. Blessed are
they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake," (that's me, little)
"for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven."

In the same sermon he says: "Think not that I am come to destroy the
law or the prophets. I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill." And then
he makes use of this remarkable language, almost as applicable today as
it was then: "For I say unto you that except your righteousness shall
exceed the righteousness of the Scribes and Pharisees ye shall in no
wise enter the kingdom of Heaven." Good!

In the sixth chapter I find the following, and it comes directly after
the prayer known as the Lord's prayer: "For if you forgive men their
trespasses your Heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if ye forgive
not men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your
trespasses." I accept the conditions. There is an offer; I accept it.
If you will forgive men that trespass against you, God will forgive your
trespasses against Him. I accept, and I never will ask any God to treat
me any better than I treat my fellowmen. There is a square promise.
There is a contract. If you will forgive others, God will forgive you.
And it does not say you must believe in the Old Testament, nor be
baptized, nor join the Church, nor keep Sunday. It simply says, if you
forgive others God will forgive you; and it must be true. No God could
afford to damn a forgiving man. (A voice: "Will He forgive
Democrats?") Oh, certainly. Let me say right here that I know lots of
Democrats, great, broad, whole-souled, clever men, and I love them. And
the only bad thing about them is that they vote the Democratic ticket.
And I know lots of Republicans so mean and narrow that the only decent
thing about them is that they vote the Republican ticket.

Now let me make myself plain upon that subject, perfectly plain. For
instance, I hate Presbyterianism, but I know hundreds of splendid
Presbyterians. Understand me. I hate Methodism, and yet I know
hundreds of splendid Methodists. I dislike a certain set of principles
called Democracy, and yet I know thousands of Democrats that I respect
and like. I like a certain set of principles--that is, most of them,--
called Republicanism, and yet I know lots of Republicans that are a
disgrace to those principles.

I do not war against men. I do not war against persons. I war against
certain doctrines that I believe to be wrong. And I give to every other
human being every right that I claim for myself. Of course I did not
intend today to tell what we must do in the election for the purpose of
being saved.

The next thing that I find is in the seventh chapter and the second
verse: "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with
what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." Good! That
suits me!

And in the twelfth chapter of Matthew: "For whosoever shall do the will
of my Father that is in Heaven, the same is my brother and sister and
mother. For the Son of Man shall come in the glory of His Father with
His angels, and then He shall reward every man according--" To the
church he belongs to? No. To the manner in which he was baptized? No.
According to his creed? No. "Then he shall reward every man according
to his works." Good! I subscribe to that doctrine.

And in the sixteenth chapter: "And Jesus called a little child to Him
and stood him in the midst, and said: 'Verily, I say unto you, except
ye become converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter
into the Kingdom of Heaven.'" I do not wonder that a reformer in His
day that met the Scribes and Pharisees and hypocrites, I do not wonder
that at last He turned to children and said: "Except ye become as
little children," I do not wonder. And yet, see what children the
children of God have been. What an interesting dimpled darling John
Calvin was. Think of that prattling babe known as Jonathan Edwards!
Think of the infants that founded the Inquisition, that invented
instruments of torture to tear human flesh. They were the ones who had
become as little children.

So I find in the nineteenth chapter: "And behold, one came and said
unto Him: 'Good master, what good thing shall I do in order to inherit
eternal life?' And He said unto him, 'why callest thou Me good? There
is none good but one, and that is God, but if thou will enter into
eternal life, keep the commandments,' and he said unto Him, 'Which?'"

Now, there is a pretty fair issue. Here is a child of God asking God
what is necessary for him to do in order to inherit eternal life. And
God says to him: Keep the commandments. And the child said to the
Almighty: "Which?" Now if there ever had been an opportunity given to
the Almighty to furnish a gentleman with an inquiring mind with the
necessary information upon that subject, here was the opportunity. He
said unto Him, 'which?' And Jesus said: "Thou shalt do no murder;
thou shalt not commit adultery; thou shalt not steal; thou shalt not
bear false witness; honor thy father and mother; and, thou shalt love
thy neighbor as thyself." He did not say to him: "You must believe in
Me--that I am the only begotten Son of the living God." He did not say:
"You must be born again." He did not say: "You must believe the Bible."
He did not say: "You must remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy."
He simply said: "Thou shalt do no murder. Thou shalt not commit
adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not bear false witness.
Honor thy father and thy mother; and, thou shalt love thy neighbor as
thyself." And thereupon the young man, who I think was a little
"fresh," and probably mistaken, said unto Him: "All these things have I
kept from my youth up." I don't believe that.

Now comes in an interpolation. In the old times when the Church got a
little scarce for money, they always put in a passage praising poverty.
So they had this young man ask: "What lack I yet?" And Jesus said unto
him: "If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast and give it
to the poor, and thou shalt have treasures in heaven." The Church has
always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down.

And when the next verse was written the Church must have been nearly
dead-broke. "And again I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go
through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the
kingdom of God." Did you ever know a wealthy disciple to unload on
account of that verse?

And then comes another verse, which I believe is an interpolation: "And
every one that has forsaken houses, or brethren or sisters, or father or
mother, or wife or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive
an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life." Christ never said
it. Never. "Whosoever shall forsake father and mother." Why He said
to this man who asked him "What shall I do to inherit eternal life?"
among other things, He said "Honor thy father and thy mother." And we
turn over the page and He says: "If you will desert your father and
your mother you shall have everlasting life." It won't do. If you
desert your wife and your little children, or your lands--the idea of
putting a house and lot on equality with wife and children. Think of
that! I do not accept the terms. I will never desert the one I love
for the promise of any God.

It is far more important that we shall love our wives than that we shall
love God. And I will tell you why you cannot help Him. You can help
her. You can fill her life with the perfume of perpetual joy. It is
far more important that you love your children than that you love Jesus
Christ.--And why? If He is God you cannot help Him, but you can plant a
little flower of happiness in every footstep of the child, from the
cradle until you die in that child's arms. Let me tell you to-day, it
is far more important to build a home than to erect a church. The
holiest temple beneath the stars is a home that love has built. And the
holiest altar in all the wide world is the fireside around which gather
father and mother and children.

There was a time when people believed that infamy. There was a time
when they did desert fathers; and mothers, and wives and children. St.
Augustine says to the devotee: "Fly to the desert, and though your wife
put her arms around your neck, tear her hands away; she is a temptation
of the devil. Though your father and mother throw their bodies athwart
your threshold, step over them; and though your children pursue and
with weeping eyes beseech you to return, listen not. It is the
temptation of the evil one. Fly to the desert and save your soul."
Think of such a soul being worth saving. While I live I propose to stand
by the folks.

Here there is another condition of salvation. I find it in the 25th
chapter: "Then shall the King say unto them on His right hand, 'Come,
ye blessed of my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the
foundation of the world. For I was a hungered and ye gave Me meat; I was
thirsty and ye gave Me drink; I was a stranger and ye took Me in;
naked and ye clothed Me; and I was sick and ye visited Me; and I was
in prison, and ye came unto me." Good! And I tell you tonight that God
will not punish with eternal thirst the man who has put the cup of cold
water to the lips of his neighbor. God will not allow to live in
eternal nakedness of pain the man who has clothed others.

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