Books: The Pillars of the House, V1

C >> Charlotte M. Yonge >> The Pillars of the House, V1

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'It may be so. I know I can spare her better than her sister.'

'Wilmet is doing something for herself too--as Alda cannot, it seems.
Justice settles the point, dearest, as it did between the boys--that
is, if we have the offer.'

Perhaps the mother still had a lurking hope that the offer would not
be made. Her instinct was to keep all her brood round her; but,
silent and deferential woman that she was, she said nothing and
resolved to be thankful for what so eased her husband's mind.

The handsome carriage tore up to the door, and violet velvet and
feathers descended, Mary Alda sprang after, and then came her father,
and hampers on hampers of game, wine, and fruits ensued; while
Marilda seized on Alda, and turned of herself into the dining-room,
bearing a box of sweets. 'Where are the little ones? Little Bobbie,
here; and all the rest.'

Not many calls were needful to bring a flock to share the feast, with
cries of joy; but Marilda was not yet satisfied.

'Where's the other of you?' she said to Alda. 'I don't know you well
apart yet.'

'Wilmet's in the kitchen,' thrust in Lancelot, 'ironing the collars
for Sunday.'

'Lance!' uttered Alda indignantly.

'Oh! what fun I do let me go down and see! I should so like to iron.'

'But, Marilda--your Mamma--'

'Oh nonsense, come along, show me the way. That's right, Robins, only
your hands are so sticky. What, down here!--Oh, Wilmet, how d'ye do?
what delicious work! do you always do it?'

'Generally, if Sibby is busy.'

'Do let me try.'

And she did try for ten minutes, at the end of which the mother's
voice was heard calling for Edgar, who, turning crimson, went
upstairs, leaving the others standing about the tidy kitchen, fresh
sanded for Saturday.

What, not you!' said Marilda, pausing in her smoothing operations,
and looking at Felix.

'No,' said he. 'I have got my work.'

'Oh? don't talk of it,' said Alda. 'I can't bear it. I didn't think
he was in earnest, or that Papa would let him.'

Marilda turned full round. 'What, you won't go and be my father's
clerk, and be one of Kedge and Underwood, and make a fortune?'

Felix shook his head.

'And what is your work instead?'

'Printing,' said Felix stoutly. 'It gives present payment, and we
can't do without it.'

Both Marilda's hands seized on his. 'I like you!' she said. 'I wish I
were you.'

They all laughed, and Felix coloured, more abashed than pleased.
Lance--to make up for his ignominious rescue at their last meeting--
performed a wonderful progress, holding on by his fingers and toes
along the ledge of the dresser; and Marilda, setting her back (a
broad one) against the ironing-board, went on talking.

'And do you know what besides?' looking round, and seeing they did
not. 'One of you girls is to come and live with me, and be my sister.
I wanted to have this little darling Angela to pet, but Mamma
wouldn't have her, and I did so beg for Geraldine, to let her have a
sofa and a pony carriage! I do want something to nurse! But Mamma
won't hear of anybody but one of you two great ones, to learn and do
everything with me; and that's not half the use.'

'But is it really?' cried Alda.

'Yes, indeed! You'll be had up for her to choose from--that is, if
she can. How exactly alike you are!'

'She won't choose me,' said Wilmet. 'Hark, there's Edgar coming
down.'

Edgar ran in, with orders to the twins to go into the drawing-room.
Wilmet hung back. 'I will not be the one,' she said resolutely. 'Let
Alda go alone.'

'No,' said Felix, 'it is what you are told that you've got to do now.
Never mind about the rest! Let us all come out of this place.' And it
was he who took off his sister's ironing apron as they went up to the
dining-room together, while Marilda cried eagerly, 'Well, Edgar?'

'Well,' said Edgar, not in the enchanted voice she expected; 'it is
very good of your father, and what must be must.'

'Don't you like it!' said Marilda, half hurt; and Edgar, always a boy
of ready courtesy, answered, 'Yes, yes, I'm no end of grateful. I'll
get rich, and go abroad, and buy pictures. Only I did hope to paint
them.'

'Paint pictures!' cried Marilda. What, rather than be a merchant! do
such stupid useless things, only to bother people with having to
stare at them, when you could be making money?'

'There's no reason one should not make money with pictures,' said
Edgar; 'but I'd rather make delight! But it can't be helped, and I am
very glad to have done with this stupid place.'

Meantime Wilmet and Alda found themselves before a large, florid,
much-dressed lady, with a most good-natured face, who greeted them
with 'Good morning, my dears! Just as Marilda told me, so much alike
as to be quite romantic. Well, no doubt it is a pity to separate
between you, but my Marilda will be a true sister. She has spoken of
nothing else. Are you willing, either of you, my dears?'

'Ay!' chimed in Mr. Thomas Underwood; 'we'll make you happy whichever
it is! You shall be in all respects like our own child; Mary would
see to that, if we didn't.'

As to choice,' said the lady, 'there's none that I can see--pretty
genteel girls both, that will do us credit, unless it is their own
fault. Excellent governess, London masters--you may be assured
everything shall be done for her.'

'Shall we toss up which it shall be?' laughed her husband.

'No,' said Mr. Underwood gently. 'We think that this one,' laying his
hand on Alda's arm, 'will value these advantages, and is not quite
such a home-bird as her sister. I hope you will find a grateful good
child in Alda Mary, and a kind sister to Mary Alda.'

The tears came into Alda's eyes, as her father seemed thus making her
over; a great rush of affection for all at home, and contempt for
Mary Alda in comparison with her own twin, seemed to take away any
elation, as Mr. and Mrs. Tom Underwood kissed her, and welcomed her,
and declared they should like to take her home at once.

'You shall have her soon,' said Mr. Underwood. 'Let me keep her for
Christmas Day.'

And for Christmas Day he did keep her, though at the bottom of Alda's
heart there were strong hopes of invitations to join the festivities
at Centry Underwood. Indeed, such a party was insisted on by Marilda,
one that was to include all the little ones, and make them happier
than ever they had been in their lives. It was to be on Twelfth Day,
but Mrs. Underwood hinted to the twins that they had better not talk
to the younger ones about it, for she scarcely believed they would
go. She had never before spoken out that conviction which had long
crushed her down, and Wilmet's whole soul seemed for the moment
scared away by this fresh intimation of the condition in which their
father stood; while Alda vehemently repeated the old declaration that
he was better. He said he was better. Alas! such a better as it
always was.

'How well you ought to be!' said Mr. Audley one day at the
reiteration, 'better every day!'

'Yes, and best of all at last!' was the reply, with a sweet smile.

For he was very happy. The partial provision for the four eldest
children, two by their own exertions, two through friends, had
evidently been received by him as an earnest of protection and aid
for the rest, even to the babe whom he scarcely expected ever to see
in this world. He said it would be ungrateful not to trust, and he
did trust with all his heart, cheered as it was by the tardy
cordiality of his cousin, and the indefinable love of kindred that
was thus gratified. Thomas Underwood poured in good things of all
kinds on the invalid and his house, fulfilled his promise of calling
in further advice, and would have franked half the family to Torquay
--Nice--Madeira--if the doctors had given the slightest encouragement.
It could be of little ultimate avail; but the wine and soup did give
support and refreshment bodily, and produced much gratitude and
thankfulness mentally, besides lightening some of Mrs. Underwood's
present cares.

No one was more anxious to help than Mr. Ryder; he had been assiduous
in his inquiries and offers of service ever since the attack at
Michaelmas; and it was evident that he really venerated the Curate,
while he was a severe and contemptuous judge of the Rector. But when,
after a brilliant examination, he became aware that he was to lose
both the elder Underwoods at once, his mortification was great, he
came to call, and Mr. Underwood had again to undergo an expostulation
on Felix's prospects, and an offer of keeping him free of expense.
The school-fee was a mere trifle, but Mr. Ryder would willingly have
boarded and lodged the boy himself--for the benefit of his authority,
as he said, over younger boarders.

'I am afraid,' said Mr. Underwood, kind and grateful as usual, 'that
there are too many younger boarders here for Felix to be spared. No,
thank you; I am sincerely obliged to you, but the hard cash is a
necessary consideration.'

'And you can sacrifice such a boy's prospects--'

'Bread and cheese _must_ be earned, even at the cost of prospects. He
cannot afford to wait to make his labour skilled.'

'Forgive me, Mr. Underwood, but I cannot think it is right to throw
away his abilities.'

'You can allow that it is a less wrong than to leave the rest to debt
or starvation.'

'You should trust--'

'I do trust; but I can do so better when I humble what is nothing but
pride and vanity in me, after all. I was foolish enough about it at
first, but I am quite content now that my boy should do his duty,
without being curious as to where it is to be done.'

'You will tell me a schoolmaster's vanity is concerned; and I allow
it is, for I looked to your sons to raise the reputation of the
school; but perhaps it is only put off a little longer. Will you let
me have Clement or Fulbert, on the terms I proposed for Felix?'

'No, Ryder; with many, many thanks, much feeling of your generous
kindness--it cannot be.'

'You do not trust me.' This was said with as much indignation as
could be shown to a man in Mr. Underwood's condition.

No. Your very kindness would make the tone I regret in you more
perilous. Do not think Felix ungrateful, Ryder; the desire is mine--
and remember, it is that of a man who is dying, and who really loves
and values you greatly. It is that the younger boys should, as soon
as may be, go to schools where older systems prevail.'

Mr. Ryder was exceedingly mortified, and though he tried hard to
conceal the full extent of his annoyance, he could not help saying,
'You know how I respect your motives; but let me say that I doubt
your finding any place where the ideas you deprecate are not to be
found. And--pardon me--may not the finding their progress obstructed
by your scruples, the more indispose your sons to them?'

'I hope not,' said Mr. Underwood, calmly. 'I hope it may show them
how strong the approach of death makes that faith--nay, rather
assurance--with which your party are tampering.'

'You are not doing me justice, Mr. Underwood. You know that my faith
and hope are at the core the same as your own. All our question is
what outworks are untenable.' Again he spoke hotly, but Mr.
Underwood's gentleness seemed to silence him.

'And that there should be any such question proves--alas!--the utter
difference between our belief. Ryder, you are a young man, and as I
believe and trust verily in earnest; and some day, I think, you will
understand what faith is. Meantime, your uncertainties are doing more
mischief than you understand--they pervade all your teaching more
than you know. I dread what they may do to such as have not your
moral sense to restrain them and bring them back, as I pray--I hope
ever to pray--it may be with you. Thank you for all your kindness,
actual and intended, to my boys.'

Then rising from his chair, while Mr. Ryder remained uncertain how to
speak, he signed to him to remain still while he sought in his
bookcase and returned with a small old copy of Jeremy Taylor's Holy
Living and Dying; then sitting down again, wrote the schoolmaster's
name in it, above his own 'Under-wode, Under-rode' stamp. 'Keep it,
Ryder! I do not say that you will care for it now, but some day I
think you will, and if I am allowed to know of it, it will be joy.'

Mr. Ryder could only wring the hand that held it out to him, and with
a great effort say, 'Thank you.' He saw that Mr. Underwood was too
much tired to prolong the conversation; but he wrote a note of warm
thanks that evening, promising to do whatever lay in his power for
the boys, that their father would not think dangerous for them; and
he added, that whatever he should for the future think or say, such
an example as he had now seen was a strong weight on its own side. It
was warmly and tenderly put, and like everything that befell him,
gratified Mr. Underwood.

A very happy man he had been, as he sincerely told those who would
have grieved over him, and not without some remorse.

'Yes,' as he said to Mr. Audley, who watched him like a son, 'it is
indeed the LORD who hath led me all my life through. I never had a
want or a care unfulfilled till nine years ago. Then, just as I had
become sluggish and mechanical in fixed habits of easy country work,
came this thorough change, break, and rousing. I tell you, I can
never be thankful enough for the mercy. Not to leave them all
provided for, as the saying is, would I go back to be such a priest
as I was becoming. Happy--yes, I have been much happier here, since
no choice was left me but working up to my strength.'

'And beyond it,' said Mr. Audley, sadly.

'If so--well; so much the better!' he said. 'It is a blessing to be
allowed to be spent in that service. And for the children, I wish
only for work and goodness for them--and for that I may well trust my
good Master.'

CHAPTER IV

TWILIGHT AND DAWN

'Two Angels, one of Life and one of Death,
Passed o'er the village as the morning broke;
The dawn was on their faces; and beneath
The sombre houses capped with plumes of smoke.
LONGFELLOW.

'Don't, Ful!'

'That's nothing to you, Clem.'

'I say, this won't do. I must have some light.'

'Indeed, Ed, we must not light a candle before five o'clock.'

'Pish!'

'Oh please, Edgar, don't stir the fire. If you knew how few coals
there are!'

'Stuff''

'No, I won't have it done if Wilmet says not;' and Felix reared up in
the gloom, and struggled with his brother.

Felix--Edgar--Oh, don't.'

'Hsh--sh-- Now, you girls are worse than all, screaming in that way.'
A few moments' silence of shame. It had been a weary, long, wet day,
a trial under any circumstances to eleven people under seventeen, on
the 4th of January, and the more oppressive in St. Oswald's
Buildings, because not only had their father been in a much more
suffering state for some days past, but their mother, who had hoped
to keep up for some weeks longer, had for the last two days been
quite unlike herself. In the sick-room she was as tender and vigilant
as ever in her silent way, but towards her children a strange fretful
impatience, a jealousy of their coming near their father, and an
intolerance of the least interruption from them even for the most
necessary cause. Moreover, the one friend and helper who had never
failed them before, Mr. Audley, had not been seen since he had looked
in before early service; and altogether the wretchedness and
perplexity of that day had been such, that it was no wonder that even
Felix and Wilmet had scarcely spirits or temper for the only task
that seemed at present left them, the hindering their juniors from
making themselves obnoxious.

'Wilmet, do you think we shall go to the party at Centry Park?'
reiterated Fulbert.

'Do hold your tongue about that. I don't believe there's the least
chance,' said Alda fretfully.

'And I don't know how you can think of such a thing,' added Cherry.

'I want to see Cousin Marilda's Christmas tree,' whined Robina.

'Do ask Mamma again,' entreated another voice.

'I shall do no such thing,' said Wilmet, with absolute crossness in
her tone.

Robina began to cry.

'Come here, Bobbie,' said Cherry's voice in the dark end of the room;
'I'll tell you a story.'

'I know all Cherry's stories, and they're rubbish,' said Fulbert.

'This is quite a new one. There was once a little match-girl--'

'Bosh! I know that little brute, and I hate her,' broke in Fulbert.

'Hold your tongue,' said Clement; 'but--'

'Oh no, don't let us have the match-girl,' cried several voices.

'Why can't you be good? There was once an old giant that lived in a
cave--'

'I hate old giants,' said Cherry's critical public; and her voice
grew melancholy.

'But this one had but one eye. Come, _do_ listen; papa told me. He
was in an island--' but the voice grew mournful, and was broken by a
cry.

'Oh! Fulbert hurt me!'

'Fulbert, for shame! What is it, Angel dear?'

'I only laid hold of her pudding arm,' growled Fulbert. 'Oh! I say,
Felix, that's too bad!'

'Hold your row, I say,' said Felix, after his application of fist
law. 'Hollo! what's that?' and he sprang to his feet with Angela in
his arms, as the door was opened by a hand groping, and Mr. Audley's
voice said, 'Darkness visible.'

There was a general scrambling up all over the floor, and Edgar
rushed across to light a candle. Wilmet alone had not stirred, as
Bernard lay asleep across her lap. The flash of the match revealed a
mass of light disordered heads, and likewise a black figure in the
doorway.

'Here is a kind helper for you, Wilmet,' said Mr. Audley, 'from St.
Faith's, at Dearport. You must call her Sister Constance.'

Wilmet did rise now, in some consternation, lifting her little
brother, whose hand was still in the locks, the tangling of which had
been his solace. There was a sweet warm kiss on her brow, and her
lost net was picked up, her hair coiled into it by a pair of ready
tender hands, but she faltered, 'Oh, thank you. Does Mamma know?'

'She was there when I got a sort of consent from your father,' said
Mr. Audley.

'She has not said a word,' said Alda, half resentfully. 'We have
hardly been in all day except just to fetch and carry.'

'Never mind,' said the Sister, 'it is much better that she did not
think about it. Now, my dear, don't! I won't have anything done for
me. You don't know how we Sisters sleep on nothing when we do sleep.'

'But you'll have some tea,' said Alda, the only smooth-haired one of
the party.

'When you do, perhaps, thank you. Will you come to me, my dear!'
relieving Felix from Angela. 'What is your name?' and the child,
though ordinarily very shy, clung to her at once; while she, moving
over to Cherry, found her in tears, shook up her cushion, arranged
her rug, and made her comfortable in a moment. A sense came over them
all that they had among them a head on whom they might rest their
cares; and as the black bonnet and veil were taken off, and they saw
a sweet fair, motherly face beaming on them from the white plain-
bordered cap, they gathered round with an outpouring of confidence,
small and great, while Mr. Audley went upstairs to announce what he
had done. He presently returned, saying, 'All right! Perhaps you had
better come up at once.'

There they sat, on either side of the hearth, he pillowed up and in a
dressing-gown, more entirely the sick man than he had ever before
given up himself to be. Mrs. Underwood rose, and with tears in her
eyes, mutely held out her hand, while her husband at once recognised
Sister Constance as Lady Herbert Somerville, the wife of the late
rector of Dearport. He had last met her when, some six or seven years
before he had been invited to preach at festivals at Dearport, and
had seen her the sunbeam of her house. He knew that her husband, who
was a connection of Mr. Audley's, had since died of the same malady
as his own, and had left her, a childless widow, together with all
else he had to leave, to the Sisterhood they had already founded in
the seaport town. But his greeting was, 'This is _very_ good in you;
but surely it must be too painful for you.'

'The Superior saw how much I wished it,' she said.

'You are like Alexandrine de la Ferronays,' he said, remembering her
love for tending a consumptive priest for her husband's sake.

'I am always wishing that I were!' she said.

So they perfectly understood each other, and poor Mrs. Underwood, who
had, in her new and extraordinary petulance, fiercely resisted the
doctor's recommendation of a nurse, found herself implicitly relying
on and trusting Sister Constance with a wonderful sense of relief--a
relief perhaps still greater to the patient himself, who had silently
endured more discomforts and made more exertions than she knew,
rather than tire her or vex her by employing even son or daughter,
and who was besides set free from some amount of anxiety.

Indeed the widow had too perfect a sympathy to interfere with the
wife's only comfort. When it could safely be done, she left the two
alone together, and applied herself to winning the hearts and
soothing the spirits of the poor children downstairs, and suggesting
and compounding new nourishing delicacies.

She even persuaded Mrs. Underwood to go to the next room for a
night's rest while she sat up, and learnt--what the silent wife had
never told any one--how trying the nights were even to that spirit!
At first the patient liked to talk, and drew out much of the hidden
treasure of her spirit respecting her husband, who, though ailing for
years, had finally passed away with only the immediate warning of a
week--the final cause being harass from the difficulties from those
above and below him that beset an earnest clergyman of his way of
thinking.

What struck her, as it did all, was Mr. Underwood's perfect absence
of all care, and conviction that all the burthen was taken off his
hands. Her own husband had, as she could not help telling him, found
it hard to resign himself to leaving his plans half carried out to
instruments which he had but half formed. He had wished with all his
might to live, and though he had resigned himself dutifully, it had
been with a real struggle, and a longing for continued service rather
than rest, a hope that he should more efficiently serve, and much
difficulty in refraining from laying all about him under injunctions
for the future.

Mr. Underwood half smiled. 'I am neither head nor principal,' he
said. 'Plans have been over long ago. I am only tired out, too tired
to think about what is to follow. If I live three days longer I shall
have just had my forty years in the wilderness, and though it has
blossomed like a rose, I am glad to be near the rest.'

And then he asked for the Midnight Office; and afterwards came fitful
sleep, half dreamy, half broken by the wanderings of slight
feverishness and great weakness; but she thought her attendance would
not be very brief, and agreed mentally with what Mr. Audley had told
her, that the doctor said that the end might yet be many weeks away.
When in the dark winter's mornings the wife crept back again to her
post, and all that could be done in those early hours had been
effected, Sister Constance went to the half-past seven o'clock
service with Felix and Clement, imparting to them on the road that
the Superior of St. Faith's was expecting to receive some of the
least of the children in the course of the day, to remain there for
the present.

Both boys declared it would be an infinite relief, but they doubted
exceedingly whether either father or mother would consent to lose
sight of them, since the former never failed to see each child, and
give it a smile and kiss, if no more. If they were to be sent, Felix
supposed there was no one but himself to take them; nobody with whom
they would be happy could be spared, nor did he show any repugnance
to the notion of acting pere de famille to three babies on the
railway.

It was quickly settled. Mr. Underwood at once confessed the exceeding
kindness, and declared it to be much better for everybody. 'Do you
not feel it so, Mother?'

She bent her head in assent, as she did to all he said.

'Having them back will be good for you,' he added persuasively; and
again she tried to give a look of response. So they were brought--
Robina, Angela, and Bernard--and each stood for a moment on a chair
at his bedside. The two little ones he merely kissed and blessed, but
to Robina he said a few more words about being good, and minding
Mamma and Felix.

'Oh yes, papa! And they'll have a Christmas tree! and I'll save all
my bon-bons to make your cough well.'

He watched wistfully as the bright heads passed out of sight, and the
long struggling cough and gasping that followed had all the pangs of
parting to add to their burthen. Half the family escorted Felix and
his charge to the station, and in the quiet that followed, Sister
Constance had a good sleep on Wilmet's bed, as much, she said, as she
ever required; and she came from it all freshness and brightness,
making the dinner-time very charming to all the diminished party,
though Wilmet felt greatly lost without the little ones; and
afterwards she earned the warmest gratitude from Edgar and Geraldine
by looking over their drawings and giving them some valuable hints--
nay, she even devised the new and delightful occupation of ship-
building for those three inconvenient subjects, Clement, Fulbert, and
Lancelot. Upstairs or down, all was gentle cheerfulness and patience
wherever she went.