Books: The Pillars of the House, V1

C >> Charlotte M. Yonge >> The Pillars of the House, V1

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When Felix was free in the evening, he found Clement dressed, and
sitting over the fire in his room--so well indeed, that he might have
been downstairs, but that he shrank from every one; and that fire had
been the fruit of such persevering battles of Wilmet and Sibby with
the smoke and soot, that it would have been a waste of good labour to
have deserted it.

'Well, Clem, you are better?'

'Yes, thank you.'

'Headache gone?'

'Nearly,' with a heavy sigh.

Felix drew an ancient straw-bottomed chair in front of the fire
backwards, placed himself astride on it, laid his arms on the top and
his forehead on them, and in this imposing Mentorial attitude began,
'After all, Clem, I don't see that you need be so desperately broken-
hearted. It was mere innocence and ignorance. Water-drinkers at home
are really not on a level with other people. I always have to be very
guarded when I have to dine with the other reporters.'

'No,' said Clement, sadly; 'I do not regard the disgrace as the sin
so much as the punishment.'

It was more sensible than Felix had expected. He was conscious of not
understanding Clement, who always seemed to him like a girl, but if
treated like one, was sure to show himself in an unexpected light.

'You did not know where you were going?'

'Not at first. I found out long before I came off the ice; and then,
like an absurd fool as I was, I thought myself showing how to deal
courteously and hold one's own with such people.'

'You are getting to the bottom of it,' said Felix.

'I have been thinking it over all day,' said Clement, mournfully. 'I
see that such a fall could only be the consequence of long continued
error. Have I not been very conceited and uncharitable of late,
Felix?'

'Not more than usual,' said Felix, intending to speak kindly.

'I see. I have been treating my advantages as if they were merits,
condemning others, and lording it over them. Long ago I was warned
that my danger was spiritual pride, but self-complacency blinded me.'
And he hid his face and groaned.

Felix was surprised. He could not thus have discussed himself, even
with his father; but he perceived that if Clement had no one else to
preach to he would preach to himself, and that this anatomical
examination was done in genuine sorrow.

'No humility!' continued Clement. 'That is what has brought me to
this. If I had distrusted and watched myself, I should have perceived
when I grew inflated by their flattery, and never--egregious fool
that I was--have thought I was showing that one of our St. Matthew's
choir could meet worldly men on their own ground.'

Felix was glad that his posture enabled him to conceal a smile; but
perhaps Clement guessed at it, for he exclaimed, 'A fit consequence,
to have made myself contemptible to everybody!'

'Come, Clem, that is too strong. Your censorious way was bad for
yourself, and obnoxious to us all, and it was very silly to go to
that place after what you had heard.'

'After telling Lance it was unworthy of a servant of the sanctuary,'
moaned Clement.

'Very silly indeed,' continued the elder brother, 'very wrong; but as
to what happened there, it is not reasonable to look at it as more
than an accident. It will be forgotten in a week by all but Fulbert
and yourself, and you will most likely be the wiser for it all your
lives. I never got on so well with Ful before, or saw him really
sorry.

Clement only answered by a disconsolate noise; and Felix was becoming
a little impatient, thinking the penitence overstrained, when he
broke silence with, 'You must let me go up to St. Matthew's!'

'Really, Clement, it is hardly right to let you be always living upon
Mr. Fulmort now your occupation is ended, and it would be braver not
to run away.'

'I do not mean that!' cried Clement. 'I will not stay there. I would
not burthen them; but see the Vicar I _must_! I will go third class,
and walk from the station.'

'The fare of an omnibus will not quite break our backs,' said Felix,
smiling. 'If this is needful to settle your mind, you had better go.'

'You do not know what this is to me,' said Clement, earnestly; 'I
wish you did.' Then perceiving the recurrence to his old propensity,
he sighed pitifully and hung his head, adding, 'It is of no use till
Saturday, the Vicar is gone to his sisters.'

'Very well, you can get a return ticket on Saturday--that is, if the
organist is come back.'

'Lance must play; I am not worthy.'

'You have no right to break an engagement for fancies about your own
worthiness,' said Felix. 'Rouse yourself up, and don't exaggerate the
thing, to alarm all the girls, and make them suspicious.'

'They ought to know. I felt myself a wicked hypocrite when Wilmet
would come and read me the Psalms, and yet I could not tell her. Tell
them, Felix; I cannot bear it without.'

'No, I shall not. You have no right to grieve and disgust them just
because you "cannot bear it without." Cannot you bear up, instead of
drooping and bemoaning in this way? It is not manly.'

'Manliness is the great temptation of this world.'

'You idiot!' Felix, in his provocation, broke out; then getting
himself in hand again, 'Don't you know the difference between true
and false manliness?'

'I know men of the world make the distinction,' said Clement; 'I am
not meaning any censure, Felix. Circumstances have given you a
different standard.'

Felix interrupted rather hotly: 'Only my father's. I have heard him
say, that if one is not a man before one is a parson, one brings the
ministry into contempt. The things the boys call you Tina for are not
what make a good clergyman.'

'I don't feel as if I could presume to seek the priesthood after
that.'

'Stuff and nonsense!' cried Felix. 'If no one was ordained who had
ever made a fool of himself and repented, we should be badly off for
clergy. You were conceited and provoking, and have let yourself be
led into a nasty scrape--that's the long and short of the matter; but
it is only hugging your own self-importance to sit honing and moaning
up here. Come down, and behave like a reasonable being.'

'Let me stay here to-night, Felix, I do need it,' said Clement, with
tears in his eyes; 'if I am alone now, I think I can bring myself to
bear up outwardly as you wish.'

The affected tone had vanished, and Felix rose, and kindly put his
hand on his shoulder, and said, 'Do, Clem. You know it is not only my
worldliness--mere man of business as I am--that bids us to hide grief
within, and "anoint the head and wash the face."'

Just then an exulting shout rang through the house, many feet
scuttled upstairs, knocks hailed upon the door, and many voices
shouted, 'Mr Audley! Felix, Clem, Mr. Audley!'

'Won't you come, Clem?'

'Not to-night; I could not.'

Clement shut the door, and Felix hastened down among the dancing
exulting little ones. 'I thought you were at Rome!' he said, as the
hands met in an eager grasp.

'I was there on Christmas Day; but Dr. White's appointment is
settled, and he wants me to go out with him in June. My brother is
gone on to London, and I must join him there on Saturday.'

'I am glad it is to-day instead of yesterday,' said Wilmet. 'We were
all out but Felix and Cherry, and poor Clement was so ill.'

'Clement ill? Is he better?'

'He will be all right to-morrow,' said Felix.

Mr. Audley detected a desire to elude inquiry, as well as a meaning
look between the two younger boys, and he thought care sat heavier on
the brow of the young master of the house than when they had parted
eighteen months before.

His travels were related, his photographs admired, his lodging
arranged in Mr. Froggatt's room, and after the general goodnight, he
drew his chair in to the fire, and prepared for a talk with his ex-
ward.

'You look anxious, Felix. Have things gone on pretty well?'

'Pretty fairly, thank you, till just now, when there is rather an
ugly scrape,'--and he proceeded to disburthen his mind of last
night's misadventure; when it must be confessed that the narrative of
Clement's overweening security having had a fall provoked a smile
from his guardian, and an observation that it might do him a great
deal of good.

'Yes,' said Felix, 'if his friends do not let him make much of his
penitence, and think it very fine to have so important a thing to
repent of.'

'I don't think they will do that. You must not take Clement as
exactly the fruit of their teaching.'

'There's no humbug about him, at least,' said Felix. 'He is really
cut up exceedingly. Indeed all I have been doing was to get him to
moderate his dolefulness. I believe he thinks me a sort of heathen.'

'Well,' said Mr. Audley, laughing, 'you don't seem to have taken the
line of the model head of the family.'

'The poor boys were both so wretched, that one could not say a word
to make it worse,' said Felix. 'This satisfies me that Fulbert is all
right in that way. He would not have been so shocked if he had ever
seen anything like it before; but though he is very sorry now, I am
afraid it will not cut the connection with those Collises.'

'You do not find him easier to manage?'

'No; that is the worst. He is not half a bad boy--nay, what is called
a well-principled boy--only it is his principle not to mind me. I do
not know whether I am donnish with him, or if I bullied him too much
when he was little; but he is always counter to me. Then he is one of
those boys who want an out-of-door life, and on whom the being shut
up in a town falls hard. The giving up sporting is real privation to
him and to Lance, and much the hardest on him, for he does not care
for music or drawing, or anything of that sort.'

'How old is he?'

'Just sixteen.'

'Suppose I were to take him out to Australia?'

'Fulbert!'

'Yes; I always intended to take one if I went, but I waited till my
return to see about it, and I thought Clement was of a more
inconvenient age, but you must judge.'

'Poor Tina!' said Felix, smiling, 'he would hardly do in a colony. He
is heart and soul a clergyman, and whether he will ever be more of a
man I don't know; but I don't think he could rough it as a
missionary.'

'Is he going to get a scholarship!'

'He has tried at Corpus, and failed. He is full young, and I suppose
he ought to go to a tutor. I am afraid he learnt more music than
classics up at that place.'

'Can the tutoring be managed!'

'I suppose a hundred out of that thousand will do it.'

'Is that thousand to go like the famous birthday five?'

'Five hundred is to be put into the business; but the rest I meant to
keep in reserve for such things as this.'

'If all are to be helped at this rate, your reserve will soon come to
an end.'

'Perhaps so; but I have always looked on Clement as my own
substitute. Indeed, I held that hope out to my father, when it
distressed him that I should give it up. So Clem is pretty well
settled, thank you. Besides I am not afraid of his not going on well
here; but I do believe Fulbert will do the better for being more
independent, only it seems to me too much to let you undertake for
us.'

'They are all my charge,' said Mr. Audley; 'and as I am leaving you
the whole burthen of the rest, and my poor little godson is not
likely to want such care, you need have no scruple. One of the
Somervilles is going out to a Government office at Albertstown, and
perhaps may put me in the way of doing something for him.'

Felix mused a moment, then said, 'The only doubt in my mind would be
whether, if it suited you equally, it might not be an opening for
Edgar.

'Edgar! Surely he is off your hands?'

'I am greatly afraid his present work will not last. He always hated
it, and I believe he always had some fancy that he could persuade Tom
Underwood into making a gentleman of him at once, sending him to the
University or the like, and they petted and admired him enough to
confirm the notion. Mrs. Underwood makes him escort her to all her
parties; and you know what a brilliant fellow he is--sure to be
wanted for all manner of diversions, concerts, private theatricals,
and what not; and you can fancy how the counting-house looks to him
after. Tom Underwood declares he requires nothing of him but what he
would of his own son; and I believe it is true; but work is work with
him, and he will not be trifled with. Here is a letter about it, one
of many, I was trying to answer last night; only this affair of poor
Clem's upset everything.'

'Six brothers are no sinecure, Felix.'

'They are wonderfully little trouble,' said Felix, standing on their
defence. 'They are all good sound-hearted boys, and as to Lance,
there's no saying the comfort that little fellow always is. He has
that peculiar pleasantness about him--like my father and Edgar--that
one feels the moment he is in the house; and he is so steady, with
all his spirits. The other two both say all this could not have
happened with him.'

'High testimony.'

'Yes, as both are inclined to look down on him. But think of that
boy's consideration. He has never once asked me for pocket-money
since he went to the Cathedral. He gets something when the Dean and
Canons have the boys to sing, and makes that cover all little
expenses.'

'What do you mean to do with him?'

'If he gets the scholarship, a year and a half hence, he will stay on
two years free of expense. Unluckily, he says that young Harewood is
cleverer than he, and always just before him: but I have some hope in
the hare-brains of Master Bill. If he do not get it--well, we must
see, but it will go hard if Lance cannot be kept on to be educated
properly.'

Mr. Audley took the letters, and presently broke into an indignant
exclamation; to which Felix replied--

'The work is not good enough for him, that is the fact.'

'If you are weak about any one, Felix, it is Edgar. I have no
patience with him. His work not _good_ enough, forsooth, considering
what yours is!'

'Mine has much more interest and variety; and he is capable of much
more than I am.'

'Then let him show it, instead of living in the lap of luxury, and
murmuring at a few hours at the desk.'

'I ascribe that to his temperament, which certainly has a good deal
of the artist; that desk-work is peculiarly irksome.'

'Very likely; but it is his plain duty to conquer his dislike. No,
Felix; I wish I could take him away with me, for I am afraid he will
be a source of trouble.'

'Never! Edgar is too considerate.'

'But he is exactly what Australia is over-stocked with already--a
discontented clerk. If he be spoilt by luxury here, do you think he
would bear with a rude colony? No. Fulbert is a gruff, obstinate boy,
but not idle and self-indulgent; and I am not afraid to undertake
him, but I should be of Edgar.'

Felix had flushed up a good deal, for his love for Edgar was less
paternal and more sensitively keen than that for any of the others;
but he was more reasonable, and had more control of temper now, than
when Mr. Audley had last crossed him; and he made answer, 'I believe
you are right, and that Edgar could not be happy in a colony. Any
way, you are most kind to Fulbert. But I am afraid I must go now, or
Theodore will wake.'

'Do you still have him at night?'

'He is not happy with any one else. You have not seen him yet? I am
sure he is improving! There's his voice! Good-night.' And Felix
hurried away, leaving Mr. Audley feeling that though here and there
the young pillar of the house might be mistaken, the daily
unselfishness of his life was a beautiful thing, and likewise
impressed by his grave air of manly resolution and deliberation.

By the morning, Clement had recovered his tone, so as not to obtrude
his penitence or to be much more subdued in manner than usual. Mr.
Audley made him bring his books to the dining-room after breakfast,
and the examination quite exonerated the authorities at Oxford from
any prejudice except against inaccuracy, and showed that a thorough
course of study was needful before he could even matriculate; and
Clement in his present lowliness was not incredulous of any
deficiency at St. Matthew's, but was only meek and mournful.

'What shall I do?' he asked. 'Perhaps some school would take me to
teach and study at the same time. Or I might get an organist's place,
and read so that I might be ordained as a literate at last. It would
come when I was fit, I suppose.'

Mr. Audley only said he would inquire, and talk to Felix; and Clement
pleased him by answering that he could not bear to be an expense to
Felix. The good principle in the boys was quite to be traced, when
presently after it was necessary to put Fulbert to a severe trial. On
going to pay his respects at the Rectory, Mr. Audley found Mr.
Mowbray Smith there, and after some preliminaries, he was asked
whether he knew how the young Underwoods had been going on of late;
of course, though, it would be concealed from him: but it was right,
etc. Then Mr. Bevan feebly suggested that he did not believe there
was any truth in it, and was sharply silenced; and Miss Caroline
observed that she was always sure that Clement Underwood was a great
humbug; whereupon, between the mother, daughter and curate, the
popular version of the Marshlands Hall affair was narrated--or rather
versions, for all were beautifully entangled and contradictory.

Some one had been in the street, and had seen poor Clement's exit
from young Jackman's dog-cart, and reported indiscriminately that it
was 'young Underwood.' Lance had not been able to put a sufficiently
bold face on his morning's report of Clement's indisposition and
Felix's absence; and this, together with the boys' hunting
propensities, and Fulbert's visits to Marshlands, had all been
concocted into a very serious accusation of the whole of the
brothers, including Felix, of having entered into a dangerous
friendship with Captain Collis, and underhand enjoying the
dissipations of the Hall, which had been the bane of many a young man
of Bexley.

There were different measures of indignation. Miss Price expected a
grand series of denunciations--to Mr. Froggatt--to Miss Pearson,
'whose niece was always there--most imprudent;'--nay, perhaps to the
Dean, and to the Vicar of St. Matthew's. The least excitement she
expected, was Felix Underwood's expulsion from the choir.

Lady Price merely believed it all, and thought the friends ought to
interfere, and save the poor young things while there was time for
any of them. She would never mention it so as to injure them, but
nothing else could be expected.

Mr. Mowbray Smith supposed there must be some exaggeration, but he
had been surprised at Lancelot's manner, and he did not think Felix's
absence accounted for; he did seem steady--but-- And there was
something unnatural in the way of life at St. Matthew's, that would
make him never trust a lad from thence.

Yes; and even Mr. Bevan did not like St. Matthew's (because it was
not slack or easy), and he too could believe anything of Clement. No
doubt poor Felix found those great brothers getting too much for him.

Mr. Audley was standing by the window. He saw Fulbert with Lance and
little Bernard going down the street, and by one of the sudden dashes
that had often puzzled the Rectory, he flew out at the door, and the
next moment had his hand on Fulbert's shoulder.

'Fulbert, they have made a terrible scandal of this affair at
Marshlands Hall. They fancy Felix had something to do with it.'

'Felix! I should like to punch their heads.'

'You can do better. You can contradict it.'

'But, Sir--'

However, Fulbert, while still following to plead with Mr. Audley,
found himself where he never recollected to have been in his life
before, among the cushions, arm-chairs, and tables covered with
knick-knacks, of the Rectory drawing-room. Mr. Bevan in an easy-
chair; Mr. Smith standing before the fire; Lady Price at work,
looking supercilious; and her daughter writing notes at a davenport.

Mr. Bevan half rose and held out his hand, the others contented
themselves with a nod, while the big, stout lad stood rather like a
great dog under the same circumstances, very angry with everybody,
and chiefly with Mr. Audley--to whom, nevertheless, he trusted for
getting him safe out again.

'Fulbert,' said Mr. Audley, 'Mr. Bevan would be better satisfied if
he could hear what intimacy there has been between your brothers and
the Collises.'

'None at all,' said Fulbert, bluntly.

'My boy,' said the gentle Rector, deprecatingly, 'nobody ever
suspected your eldest brother.'

'I should think not!' exclaimed Fulbert, with angry eyes. 'All he
ever did was to warn us against going. More fools not to mind him!'

'Then,' said my Lady, 'it has been the insubordination and wilfulness
of you younger boys that has nearly involved him in so grave an
imputation.'

'Of nobody's but mine,' returned Fulbert. 'The others would have
nothing to do with it.'

'That cannot be the literal fact,' said Mr. Smith, in a low voice, to
Lady Price. 'There were certainly two of them.'

Fulbert heard, and turning to the Rector, as if he thought every one
else beneath his notice, said, 'The long and short of it is this:
Lance and I picked young Collis out of a ditch, and took him home.
Then Captain Collis asked us rabbit-shooting. Lance never went again,
because Felix did not choose it. I did; and, just by way of a joke, I
took Clement there without his knowing what place it was. We fell in
with them skating, and went into the house, the day before yesterday.
That is,' said Fulbert, concluding as he had begun, 'the long and
short of it. Whatever happened was my fault, and no one else's.'

'A very honest confession!' said kind Mr. Bevan, pleased to have
something to praise.

'And I hope it will act as a warning,' said Lady Price.

'But,' said Mr. Smith, partly incited by Carry's looks, 'it was true
that you--two of you were brought home by young Jackman.'

'Yes,' said Fulbert, growing crimson, 'he drove Clement and me home!'

'And,' said Mr. Audley, 'it was Clement's great distress that kept
Felix at home the next morning.'

'Yes,' said Fulbert, 'there was nobody else but me, and Clem could
hardly bear the sight of me, because I had led him into it. We
thought no one in the house would know it--and I don't believe they
do.'

'Ah!' said Lady Price, 'it is false kindness to attempt concealment.'

'From lawful authority it is,' said Mr. Audley; 'but in this case it
was only from children and servants. However, Fulbert, I think you
have fully satisfied Mr. Bevan as to the amount of intercourse
between your brothers and Marshlands.'

'Entirely,' said Mr. Bevan, 'in fact, you may assure your brother
that I never believed anything to his discredit.'

'I shall say nothing about it, said Fulbert, not choosing to see the
hand held out to him. 'I should be ashamed!--May I go now, Sir?' to
Mr. Audley; and with an odd sort of circular bow, he made his escape,
and Mr. Audley, having remained long enough to ascertain that the
worst that could be said of him was that he was a cub, and that it
was a terrible thing to see so many great hulking lads growing up
under no control, took his leave, and presently came on the three
boys again, consulting at the ironmonger's window over the knife
on which Bernard was to spend a half-crown that Mrs. Froggatt had
given him.

'Can Lance and Bernard settle that? I want you a moment, Fulbert. Not
to confront the Rectory again,' he added, smiling. 'It was a horrid
bore for you, but there was no helping it.'

'I suppose not,' said Fulbert, gloomily, as if he did not forgive the
unpleasant moments.

'It was not about that I wanted to speak to you, though,' said Mr.
Audley. 'I wanted to know whether you have any plans or wishes for
the future.'

'I?' said Fulbert, looking up blank.

'Yes, you. You are growing up, Fulbert.'

'I suppose I must take what I can get,' said Fulbert, in the same
sulky, passive voice.

'That may be a wise determination, but have you really no choice?'

'Well, when I was a little chap, and knew no better, I used to think
I would be a soldier or a farmer--but that's all nonsense; and I
suppose I must have some abominable little clerkship,' said Fulbert,
with a certain steadiness for all the growl of his tone.

'Well, Fulbert, have you a mind to try whether the other side of the
world would suit you better?'

Fulbert looked up. 'You don't mean that you would take me out?'

'Yes, I do, if you are inclined to come and try for work at
Albertstown.'

Fulbert, instead of answering, quickened his pace to a walking run,
dashed on, nearly upsetting half a dozen people, and was only checked
by a collision with a perambulator. Then he stood still till Mr.
Audley came up to him, and then again muttered under his breath, 'Go
out to Albertstown!'

They walked on a little way, and then the boy said, 'Say it again,
please.'

Mr. Audley did say it again, in more detail; and Fulbert this time
exclaimed, 'It is the very thing! Thank you, Mr. Audley;' and his
face clearing into a frank, open look, he added, 'I'll try to do my
best there. I wonder I never thought of it before. I would have
worked my way out as a cabin boy if I had. Where is Lance? Does Felix
know?'