Books: Life of John Coleridge Patteson

C >> Charlotte M. Yonge >> Life of John Coleridge Patteson

Pages:
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62

A letter to his sister shows how he plunged into the drudgery of the
parish, doing that which always cost him most, namely, administering
rebukes; so that it was no wonder that he wrote with a sort of
elation at having lashed himself up to the point of giving a thorough
warning:--

'Feniton: July 19, 1853.

'My dearest Fan,--I am going to Thorverton to-day to stay till
Thursday. Gardiner came downstairs on Sunday, and again yesterday,
and is making very rapid strides towards perfect recovery. He even
went out yesterday for a few minutes. So I don't mind leaving him in
the least; and indeed he is going to Sidmouth himself, probably at
the end of the week. I have seen him every day without one
exception, and have learnt a very great deal from him. He has
studied very closely school work, condition of the labourer, boys'
homes, best method of dispensing charity, &c., and on all these
points his advice has been really invaluable. I feel now that I am
quite to all intents working the district. People ask me about their
children coming to school. I know almost all the people in the
village, and a good many out of it, and begin to understand, in a
very small way, what a clergyman's life is. A mixture of sorrow and
pleasure indeed! There are many very sad cases of hypocrisy,
filthiness, and wickedness (as I suppose there are in every
district); and yesterday I had a very hard-working and in one case
most painful day.

'Some people had asked me to take their boy, three years and a half
old, to school--a wretched pair, with a little savage for a son. I
said I would speak to Miss Wilkins, and put plainly before her the
character of parents and child. However, she wished to have him, and
I knew it was so far well to get the boy away from home. But such a
scene ensued! The boy was really like a little savage; kicked,
dashed his head against the wall, and at length, with his nose
bleeding violently, exhausted with his violence, fell asleep. Next
day, he is so bad, he is sent home; when the mother drives him back
to school, cursing and swearing, telling Miss Wilkins she may kill
him if she pleases! Unluckily, I was not in school.

'Yesterday he was in school and more quiet, but did not kneel down at
prayers, and seemed like a little beast beginning to be tamed. So,
after school, I called him to me, and putting him before my knees
asked him some questions very kindly: "Did he know who God was? Had
he never been taught to kneel down and say his prayers? Of course he
had not, but it gave me the proper opportunity of speaking to his
parents. So having now considered the matter for two or three days
previously, having ascertained all the facts about the people, after
an hour among some others in the village, I went right into their
cottage, and luckily found father and mother and grandmother at home,
besides one or two more (who are lodgers) in a room adjoining, with
the door open. "I am come to talk to you about William," I began,
whereupon I saw the woman turn quite red. However, I spoke for about
ten minutes slowly and very quietly, without any appearance (as I
believe) of anger or passion at all, but yet speaking my mind quite
plainly. "I had no idea any child could be so neglected. Did they
suppose the school was a place where any parent might send a child
merely to get it out of the way (of course they do, you know, most of
them)? Was it possible that a child could be made good as if by
magic there, when it learns nothing but wicked words at home? Do you
think you can or ought to get rid of the duties you owe your child?
Do you suppose that God will not require from you an account of the
way you have behaved towards him, you who have never taught him to
know who God is, what God is, what is prayer, what is the church, who
have taught that little mouth, which God created for praise and
blessings, to curse and blaspheme? I know that many children do and
say wicked things, but it is in most cases owing to the neglect of
their parents, who do not speak kindly to their children, and do what
they can to keep them out of temptation, but this is a different
case. Your boy is not fit to come into the company of little
Christians! Awful as it is to think of, he is already, at his early
age, the very dread of the parents who live near you."

'They had not a word to say, not a syllable beyond the objection
which I had already met, that other children were bad too. I did not
say what I might have said with truth, because it is only from
Gardiner's report, not from my own knowledge--viz., that neither
father nor mother ever come to church, and that their house is the
centre of evil to the young people of the village.

'"Now," I said, in conclusion, "I fully meant to send back your boy,
and tell you I would examine him six months hence, to see if he was
fit to be brought into the school, but as I do trust he may behave
better, and that this may be the means of recovering him from this
sad state, I shall take him still, unless he behaves again very
badly. But remember this--this is the turning point in the boy's
life, and all, humanly speaking, depends on the example you set him.
What an awful thing it would be, if it pleased God to take him away
from you now, and a fit of measles, scarlatina, or any such illness,
may do it any day! Remember that you are responsible to a very great
extent for your child; that unless it sees you watchful over your
thoughts, words, and actions; unless it sees you regular and devout
in prayer at home (I don't believe they ever think of such a thing--
God forgive me, if I am wrong); unless it sees you habitually in your
place in God's house, you are not doing your duty to yourselves or
your child, you are not laying up any hope or comfort whatever for
the day of your sickness and death. Now I hope you clearly
understand me. I have spoken plainly--exactly what I think, and what
I mean to act upon. You know now the sort of person you have to deal
with. Good morning,"--and thereupon I marched out, amazed at my own
pluck, and heartily glad that I had said what I wished, and felt I
ought to say.

'But I need hardly tell you that this left me in a state of no slight
excitement, and that I should be much comforted by hearing what you
and Father and Joan think of my behaviour.

'Meanwhile, there are some very nice people; I dearly love some of
the boys and girls; and I do pray that this plan of a boys' home may
save some from contamination. I, seated with Sanders last night,
found him and his wife very hearty about it. I have only mentioned
it to three people, but I rather wish it to be talked about a little
now, that they may be curious, &c., to know exactly what I mean to
do. The two cottages, with plenty of room for the Fley's family and
eight boys, with half an acre of garden at £11. 5s. the year. I
shall of course begin with only one or two boys--the thing may not
answer at all; but everyone, Gardiner, several farmers, and two or
three others, quite poor, in different places, all say it must work
well, with God's blessing. I do not really wish to be scheming away,
working a favourite hobby, &c., but I do believe this to be
absolutely essential. The profligacy and impurity of the poor is
beyond all belief. Every mother of a family answers (I mean every
honest respectable mother of a family): "Oh sir, God will bless such
a work, and it is for want of this that so much misery and
wretchedness abound." I believe that for a year or so it will
exhaust most of my money, but then it is one of the best uses to
which I can apply it; for my theory is, that help and assistance is
wanted in this way, and I would wish to make most of these things
self-supporting. Half an acre more of garden, thoroughly well worked,
will yield an astonishing return, and I look to Mary as a person of
really economical habits. It is a great relief to have poured all
this out. It is no easy task that I am preparing for myself. I know
that I fully expect to be very much disappointed, but I am determined
to try it. I am determined to try and make the people see that I am
not going to give way to everybody that asks; but that I am going to
set on foot and help on all useful industrial schemes of every kind,
for people of every age. I am hard at work, studying spade
husbandry, inspectors' reports of industrial schools, &c. I am glad
you are all so happy. I am so busy. Best love to all.

'Your loving

'J. C. P.'

Coley was thus already serving a vigorous apprenticeship in pastoral
work, while preparing himself for receiving deacon's orders. It was
a trying time both to his family and himself, for, as before said,
his standard was very high, and his own strong habit of self-
contemplation made his dissatisfaction with himself manifest in his
manner to those nearest to him. He was always gentle and unselfish;
not showing temper, but unhappiness.

Here are letters showing a good deal of his state of mind: the first
only dated 'Saturday evening,' but evidently written about this time,
in reply to the cautions with which his sister had replied to the
above letter of eager plans of improvement.

'My dearest Fan,--Your letter has just reached me from Honiton, and I
have read it with very great interest. I liked it better on a second
perusal of it, which showed in itself that I wanted it, for it is
quite true that I require to be reminded of the only true principle
upon which one ought to work; and I allow quite willingly that I
trace interested motives--e.g., love of self-approval or applause in
actions where such feelings ought least of all to enter. I certainly
did feel pleased with myself for speaking plainly to those people,
and I often find myself indulging the notion that I am going to be a
very hard-working clergyman, with a remedy for all the evils of the
age, &c. If I was to hunt about for an excuse, I might perhaps find
one, by saying that I am in that state of mind which attends always,
I suppose, the anticipation of any great crisis in a person's life;
sometimes hard work and hard thought, sometimes (though alas! very
seldom) a real sense of the very awful responsibility of ministering
in the Church, sometimes a less natural urging of the mind to
contemplate and realise this responsibility. I was for some time
reading Wilberforce's new book, and this involved an examination of
the question in other writers; but lately I have laid all
controversial works aside almost entirely, and have been reading
Pearson, Bull, and the Apostolical Fathers, Clement and Ignatius. I
shall probably read Justin Martyr's Apologies, and some treatises of
Tertullian before next month is over. I have read some part already.
There is such a very strong practical element in these very early
writings that they ought to soothe and calm the mind; but I cannot
honestly conceal the fact that the theological interest for the most
part outweighs the practical teaching.

'My light reading is of a new and very amusing and interesting
character--viz., books on school economy, management of school farms,
allotments, the modern dairy, spade husbandry, agricultural
chemistry. K, W, F, C, and G, and I have great talks; and as they
all agree with me, I think them capital judges.

'I don't think at all that my present state of mind is quite natural.
You quite repeat my own words when you say it is transitory. A calm
undisturbed spirit of prayer and peace and contentment is a great
gift of God, and to be waited for with patience. The motto of "The
Christian Year" is very beautiful. I sent the roses on Tuesday. My
best love to dear Father and Joan.

'Ever your loving Brother,

'J. C. P.'

These words 'love of self-approval' perfectly analysed that snare of
Coley's early life, against which he so endeavoured to guard--not
self-conceit, but love of self-approval.

So the Easter week drew on, and during it he writes to his cousin:--

'Friday, Wallis Lodgings, Exeter: September, 1853.

'My dear Sophy,--We have had a good examination, I think; perhaps
rather harder than I expected. Woolecombe and Chancellor Harrington
spoke to me this morning, thanking me for my papers, and telling me
to read the Gospel at the Ordination.

'I did feel very nervous last Sunday and Monday, and the Ember Prayer
in the morning (when I was at Ottery) fairly upset me, but I don't
think anybody saw it; now, I am thankful to say, I am very well, and
feel thoroughly happy. I shall be nervous, no doubt, on Sunday, and
especially at reading the Gospel, but not I think so nervous as to
break down or do anything foolish; so when you know I am reading--for
you won't hear me, if you are in the stalls, don't distress yourself
about me.

'I can't tell what it was that upset me so on Sunday and Monday--
thinking of dear Mamma and how she had wished for this, the
overwhelming kindness of everybody about me, dear Father's simple
words of very affectionate comfort and advice.

'But I walked into Exeter, and on the way got quite calm, and so I
have been ever since. It is not strange that the realising the near
approach of what I have for years wished for, and looked forward to,
should at times come upon me with such force that I seem scarcely
master of myself; but it is only excitement of feeling, and ought, I
know, to be repressed, not for a moment to be entertained as a test
of one's religious state, being by no means a desirable thing. I am
very glad the examination is over. I did not worry myself about it,
but it was rather hard work, and now I have my time to myself for
quiet thought and meditation.

'Ever, dear Sophy, your affectionate Cousin,

'J. C. PATTESON.'

The next evening he writes:--

'Saturday, 5.45 P.M.

'My dearest Father,--I must write my last letter as a layman to you.
I can't tell you the hundredth part of the thoughts that have been
passing through my mind this week. There has been no return of the
excitement that I experienced last Sunday and Monday, and I have been
very happy and well.

'To-day my eyes are not comfortable, from I know not what cause, but
as all the work for them is over, it does not matter so much. I am
glad to have had a quiet time for reflection. Indeed, I do not
enough realise my great unworthiness and sinfulness, and the awful
nature of the work I am undertaking. I pray God very earnestly for
the great grace of humility, which I so sadly need: and for a spirit
of earnest prayer, that I may be preserved from putting trust in
myself, and may know and forget myself in my office and work. I
never could be fit for such work, I know that, and yet I am very
thankful that the time for it has come. I do not feel excited, yet I
am somewhat nervous because it requires an effort to meditate
steadily. I have thought so much of my early life, of dearest Mamma.
What a snare it seems, so full of transitory earthly plans and
pursuits; such a want of earnestness of purpose and steady
performance of duty! God grant my life as a clergyman may be more
innocent to myself, and more useful to others! Tell dear Joan the
gown came this morning. My kind love to her, Fan, and Jem.

'Ever, my dearest Father,

'Your affectionate and dutiful Son,

'J. C. PATTESON.'

On the ensuing day, Sunday, September 14, 1853, John Coleridge
Patteson received the Diaconate at the hands of the venerable Bishop
Phillpotts, in Exeter Cathedral. His being selected to read the
Gospel was the proof of his superiority in the examination--no
wonder, considering the two additional years that he had spent in
preparation, and the deep study and searchings of heart of the last
few months.

He was established in a small house at Alfington--the usual
habitation of the Curate. And of his first sermon there, his uncle,
Sir John Coleridge, gives the following touching description from his
diary:--

'October 23, 1853.--Yesterday morning Arthur and I went to Alfington
Church, to be present at Coley's first sermon. I don't know when I
have been so much delighted and affected. His manner of saying the
prayers was exceedingly good: his voice very sweet and musical;
without seeming loud, it was fully audible, and gave assurance of
more power if needed: his manner quite unaffected, but sweet and
devout. His sermon was a very sound and good one, beautifully
delivered; perhaps in the early parts, from the very sweetness of his
voice, and the very rapid delivery of his words, a little more
variety of intonation would have helped in conveying his meaning more
distinctly to those who formed the bulk of his congregation. But
when he came to personal parts this was not needed. He made a kind
allusion to me, very affecting to me; and when I was in this mood,
and he came to the personal parts, touching himself and his new
congregation, what he knew he ought to be to them and to do for them,
what they should do for themselves, and earnestly besought their
prayers, I was completely overcome, and weeping profusely.

Fanny Patteson and Arthur Coleridge were sitting with the Judge, and
were equally overcome. When the service was over, and the
congregation dispersed, Coley joined these three in the porch,
holding out his hands, taking theirs and shedding tears, and they
with him--tears of warm emotion too deep for words. He was evidently
surprised at the effect produced. In fact, on looking at the sermon,
it does not seem to have been in itself remarkable, but as his cousin
Arthur says: 'I suppose the deep spirituality of the man, and the
love we bore him for years, touched the emotional part of us.' The
text was significant: 'We preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the
Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake' (2 Cor. iv. 5).

The services that the newly-ordained Deacon undertook were the
ordinary Sunday ones, and Wednesday and Friday Matins and Litany,
Saints'-day prayers and lecture, and an Advent and Lent Evensong and
lecture on Wednesdays and Fridays. These last had that great
popularity which attends late services. Dr. Cornish used to come on
one Sunday in the month to celebrate the Holy Communion (which is
given weekly in the mother Church); and when Mr. Grardiner was able
to be at Sidmouth, recovering from his illness, he used to come over
on the second Sunday in the month for the same purpose; and the next
Lent, the Matins were daily, and followed by a lecture.

At this time Patteson's constitutional shrinking from general society
was in full force, and he also had that dislike to 'speaking to'
people in the way of censure, which so often goes with tender and
refined natures, however strong; so that if his housekeeper needed a
reproof, he would make his sister administer it, and creep out of
reach himself; but this was one of the deficiencies with which he was
struggling all his life, and fortunately it is a fact that the most
effective lectures usually come from those to whom they cost the
most.

This was the hardest part of his ministry. Where kindness and
attention were needed, nothing could be more spontaneous, sweet, or
winning than his ways. One of his parishioners, a farmer's daughter,
writes:--

'Our personal knowledge of him began some months before his
Ordination, owing, I suppose, to Mr. Gardiner's severe illness; and
as he was very much respected, Mr. Patteson's attentions won from the
first our admiration and gratitude, which went on and on until it
deepened into that love which I do not think could have been
surpassed by the Galatians for their beloved St. Paul, which he
records in his Epistle to them (chap. iv. 15). All were waiting for
him at his Ordination, and a happy delusion seemed to have come over
the minds of most, if not all, that he was as completely ours as if
he had been ordained expressly for us.'

It was not his own feeling, for he knew that when his apprenticeship
should be past, the place was too small, and the work too easy, for a
man in full force and vigour, though for the sake of his father he
was glad to accept it for the present, to train himself in the work,
and to have full time for study; but he at that time looked to
remaining in England during his father's lifetime, and perhaps
transferring himself to Manchester, Liverpool, London, or some large
city, where there was need of mission work among the neglected.

His father was on the City of London Charter Commission, and was in
London from November to February, the daughters joining him there,
but there was no lack of friends around Alfington. Indeed it was in
the midst of an absolute clan of Coleridges, and in Buckerell parish,
at Deerpark, that great old soldier, Lord Seaton, was spending the
few years that passed between his Commissioner-ship in the Ionian
Isles and his Commandership in Ireland.

He was connected with the Coleridges through the Yonge family, and
the young people were all on familiar cousinly terms. Coley was much
liked by him; and often joined in the rides through the lanes and to
the hills with him and his daughters, when there were many
conversations of much interest, as there could not fail to be with a
man who had never held a government without doing his utmost to
promote God's work in the Church and for education; who had,
moreover, strong opinions derived from experience of the Red Indians
in Upper Canada--namely, that to reclaim the young, and educate them
was the only hope of making Christianity take root in any fresh
nation.

It was at Deerpark, at a dinner in the late autumn of this year 1853,
that I saw Coley Patteson for the second and last time. I had seen
him before in a visit of three days that I made at Feniton with my
parents in the September of 1844, when he was an Eton boy, full of
high spirits and merriment. I remember then, on the Sunday, that he
and I accompanied our two fathers on a walk to the afternoon service
at Ottery, and that on the way he began to show something of his
inner self, and talked of his mother and her pleasure in Feniton; but
it began to rain, and I stayed for the night at Heaths Court, so that
our acquaintance ceased for that time. It was not a formal party at
Deerpark, and the evening was chiefly spent in playing at games,
thread paper verses and the like, in which Coley took his part with
spirit. If I had guessed what he was to be, I should have observed
him more; but though, in after years, our intercourse in letters
makes us feel intimate with one another, these two brief meetings
comprise the whole of my personal acquaintance with one in whom I
then only saw a young clergyman with his heart in his work.

Perhaps this is the best place to mention his personal appearance, as
the portrait at the beginning of this volume was taken not more than
a year later.

He was tall and of a large powerful frame, broad in the chest and
shoulders, and with small neat hands and feet, with more of sheer
muscular strength and power of endurance than of healthiness, so that
though seldom breaking down and capable of undergoing a great deal of
fatigue and exertion, he was often slightly ailing, and was very
sensitive to cold. His complexion was very dark, and there was a
strongly marked line between the cheeks and mouth, the corners of
which drooped when at rest, so that it was a countenance peculiarly
difficult to photograph successfully. The most striking feature was
his eyes, which were of a very dark clear blue, full of an unusually
deep earnest, and so to speak, inward, yet far away expression. His
smile was remarkably bright, sweet and affectionate, like a gleam of
sunshine, and was one element of his great attractiveness. So was
his voice, which had the rich full sweetness inherited from his
mother's family, and which always excited a winning influence over
the hearers. Thus, though not a handsome man, he was more than
commonly engaging, exciting the warmest affection in all who were
concerned with him, and giving in return an immense amount of
interest and sympathy, which only became intensified to old friends
while it expanded towards new ones. Here is a letter to his father,
undated, but written not long after his settling down at Alfington.
After expressing his regret that his voice had been inaudible to his
sister Joanna at a Friday evening service, he proceeds:--

'I did not speak very loud, because I don't think I could do so and
at the same time keep my mind at work and thoughts collected.
Anything which is so unnatural and unusual as to make me conscious of
myself in a peculiar manner would prevent, I fear, my getting on with
my oration at all.

'I am glad you think I could not have acted otherwise with E---. I
quite expect ere long to find something going on which may call for
my interference, and I specially guarded myself on this point. It is
distinctly understood that I shall speak to him quite plainly
whenever and wherever I think it necessary to do so. I do not
suppose it very likely that he can go on long without my being forced
to take some step; but I really feel so very unequal to expressing a
decided opinion upon the great question of Bible readers, that I am
certainly glad I have not taken up a hostile position hastily. As a
matter of fact, he reads in very few cottages in my district; tracts
he distributes almost everywhere.